COPING WITH HOLIDAY GRIEF BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE HOLIDAYS · BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE...
Transcript of COPING WITH HOLIDAY GRIEF BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE HOLIDAYS · BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE...
COPING WITH HOLIDAY GRIEF BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE
HOLIDAYS
Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors
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OBJECTIVES
• Identify the ways in which the holidays can
impact the grief cycle
• Identify healthy coping during the holidays
• Identify ways to assist children in the grieving
process
• Develop a plan for the holidays
• Identify additional resources
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CONSIDER
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
~William Shakespeare
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DISCUSSION
• What bothers me most about the holidays…
• What I miss the most is…
• I wish my loved one was here to…
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HELP YOURSELF COPE
Give yourself permission:
• to cry
• be conscious of the moment
• Feel/work through the grief
• consider breaking/changing tradition
• do the holidays in a small way
• reach out, even with small kindness, to someone else
• don’t over spend to make the holidays happy
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HELP YOURSELF COPE CONTINUED
• At family gatherings, decorate a box or a basket & ask
family/friends to write a special memory of your loved
one for the basket
• Give money you would have spent on your loved one to
charity, donate a book to a library, etc.
• Write an unsent letter
• Give yourself something to look forward to after the
holidays
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HOW TO HELP CHILDREN COPE
• Spend some special time with your children
• Keep some of their favorite family traditions and ask them to help
create new ones
• Acknowledge to them that things are different and allow them to
express their feelings
• Set aside some time for remembering together the experiences you
shared with your loved one
• Keep up your own strength
• Seek and accept extra support from friends
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REMEMBER
Do what is right for you during the holidays
• Discuss your plans with a trusted friend who
won’t judge the decisions you make about
how or with whom you will spend your time
• As you become aware of your needs, share
them with your friends and family
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PLAN AHEAD
Family traditions
• Maintain the important traditions
• Start new ones
Traditions can help structure your time
and anticipate schedules
• Getting caught off guard may result in
feelings of panic, fear and anxiety
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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN
The name of this holiday is ____________________________.
Circle the traditions you want to keep this holiday. Put an "X" on those things you can't face this year.
Would you like to:
• Stay in town
• Spend the holiday in a different part of the country? If so, where would you like to go?
Family Traditions
• Write in family traditions connected with this holiday (for example: send cards).
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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN - DECORATING
• Decorate as usual
• Modify decorations
• Ask for help
• Make changes, such as: an artificial tree instead
of a real one
• A special corner decorated in honor of your
loved one
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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN – GIVING GIFTS
Give as usual or …..
• Give to charity instead of buying gifts for each
other
• Give gift certificates
• Give home-made gifts
• Adopt a needy family and buy gifts for them
• Draw names
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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN – OTHER THOUGHTS & IDEAS
• _______________________________________
• _______________________________________
• _______________________________________
• _______________________________________
• _______________________________________
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SUMMARY
• Recognize how the holidays can affect the grief
cycle
• Utilize healthy coping strategies during the
holidays
• Identify ways to assist children in the grieving
process
• Develop a plan for the holidays
• Seek support from family and friends
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RESOURCES
• Military Community Services
• Chaplain and Local Clergy
• Military OneSource (800) 342-9647
• TRICARE www.Tricare.mil
• Behavioral Health Services
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REFERENCES
• http://newsblaxe.com/story/20061115094117+sop.nb/tostory.html “Nine Ways to Make Space in Your Grief for Some Holiday Joy”
• www.suttervna.org/support/support_holiday grief.html “Coping With
Holiday Grief”
• Experiencing Grief-H. Norman Wright
• A Passage Through Grief-Barbara Baumgardner
• www.journeyofhearts.org
• American Hospice Foundation © 2002 and reprinted with permission
from the American Hospice Foundation.
• www.eap.partners.org
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