COPING WITH HOLIDAY GRIEF BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE HOLIDAYS · BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE...

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COPING WITH HOLIDAY GRIEF BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE HOLIDAYS Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

Transcript of COPING WITH HOLIDAY GRIEF BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE HOLIDAYS · BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE...

COPING WITH HOLIDAY GRIEF BEFORE, DURING & AFTER THE

HOLIDAYS

Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

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OBJECTIVES

• Identify the ways in which the holidays can

impact the grief cycle

• Identify healthy coping during the holidays

• Identify ways to assist children in the grieving

process

• Develop a plan for the holidays

• Identify additional resources

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CONSIDER

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak

whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

~William Shakespeare

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DISCUSSION

• What bothers me most about the holidays…

• What I miss the most is…

• I wish my loved one was here to…

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MAKE SPACE…

…For Holiday Grief

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HELP YOURSELF COPE

Give yourself permission:

• to cry

• be conscious of the moment

• Feel/work through the grief

• consider breaking/changing tradition

• do the holidays in a small way

• reach out, even with small kindness, to someone else

• don’t over spend to make the holidays happy

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HELP YOURSELF COPE CONTINUED

• At family gatherings, decorate a box or a basket & ask

family/friends to write a special memory of your loved

one for the basket

• Give money you would have spent on your loved one to

charity, donate a book to a library, etc.

• Write an unsent letter

• Give yourself something to look forward to after the

holidays

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HOW TO HELP CHILDREN COPE

• Spend some special time with your children

• Keep some of their favorite family traditions and ask them to help

create new ones

• Acknowledge to them that things are different and allow them to

express their feelings

• Set aside some time for remembering together the experiences you

shared with your loved one

• Keep up your own strength

• Seek and accept extra support from friends

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REMEMBER

Do what is right for you during the holidays

• Discuss your plans with a trusted friend who

won’t judge the decisions you make about

how or with whom you will spend your time

• As you become aware of your needs, share

them with your friends and family

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PLAN AHEAD

Family traditions

• Maintain the important traditions

• Start new ones

Traditions can help structure your time

and anticipate schedules

• Getting caught off guard may result in

feelings of panic, fear and anxiety

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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN

The name of this holiday is ____________________________.

Circle the traditions you want to keep this holiday. Put an "X" on those things you can't face this year.

Would you like to:

• Stay in town

• Spend the holiday in a different part of the country? If so, where would you like to go?

Family Traditions

• Write in family traditions connected with this holiday (for example: send cards).

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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN - DECORATING

• Decorate as usual

• Modify decorations

• Ask for help

• Make changes, such as: an artificial tree instead

of a real one

• A special corner decorated in honor of your

loved one

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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN – GIVING GIFTS

Give as usual or …..

• Give to charity instead of buying gifts for each

other

• Give gift certificates

• Give home-made gifts

• Adopt a needy family and buy gifts for them

• Draw names

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HOLIDAY GRIEF PLAN – OTHER THOUGHTS & IDEAS

• _______________________________________

• _______________________________________

• _______________________________________

• _______________________________________

• _______________________________________

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SUMMARY

• Recognize how the holidays can affect the grief

cycle

• Utilize healthy coping strategies during the

holidays

• Identify ways to assist children in the grieving

process

• Develop a plan for the holidays

• Seek support from family and friends

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QUESTIONS?

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RESOURCES

• Military Community Services

• Chaplain and Local Clergy

• Military OneSource (800) 342-9647

• TRICARE www.Tricare.mil

• Behavioral Health Services

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REFERENCES

• http://newsblaxe.com/story/20061115094117+sop.nb/tostory.html “Nine Ways to Make Space in Your Grief for Some Holiday Joy”

• www.suttervna.org/support/support_holiday grief.html “Coping With

Holiday Grief”

• Experiencing Grief-H. Norman Wright

• A Passage Through Grief-Barbara Baumgardner

• www.journeyofhearts.org

• American Hospice Foundation © 2002 and reprinted with permission

from the American Hospice Foundation.

• www.eap.partners.org

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THANK YOU