Coping with Bullying

Dr Brendan Byrne

Intermediate School Killorglin

Wednesday 14th October 2015

Dr Brendan Byrne

Introduction You can never see inside

somebody else’s head Each person has a right to be

who and what they are

Definition

Bullying is unwanted negative behaviour, verbal, psychological or physical conducted, by an individual or group against another person (or persons) and which is repeated over time. Anti-Bullying Procedures for Primary and Post-Primary Schools. Department of Education and Science. September 2013.

Descriptions

Bullying is an abuse of power

Bullying is the breaking down of a person

(16 year old boy)

General Points Bullying affects everyone in the

classroom Name calling/Slagging Advice: Ignore/Answer back Best Advice: Assertiveness

especially with reference to eye contact

‘Swot’ category

‘Dual’ category

The ‘Provocative’ Victim

Parents Why people don’t tell if they

are being bullied:

Ratting

Shame

Different advice especially with reference to retaliation

Listening Contact with the school

Telephone

Letter

Exception Keep a written record-

When, where, who, what

Signs/Symptoms A child who has been happy at

school losing interest and enthusiasm for school. This may be reflected in school performance

Requests for parents to drive them to school, or collect them

Damage to bicycles or personal property, e.g. clothes, books, or loss of same

A child returning from school in very bad humour but reluctant to say why

Unexplained changes of mood. These will often occur before the restart of school e.g. at the end of a weekend

Frequent minor illnesses, especially headaches and tummyaches

An increase in requests for money

Unexplained cuts or bruises Recurring nightmares Bed-wetting

Helping a Child who is a Victim of Bullying Not your problem Self Esteem-Confidence

Activities

Abilities

Appearance Assertiveness-

Body language,voice

Live in the present Friends

Helping a Child involved in Bullying Behaviour Try to find out why Offer alternative ways of

behaving:

Responsibility

Sport Punish the behaviour not the

person

Community

Parents/Guardians Teachers Students Non-Teaching Staff Bus Drivers Gardai

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullies use the internet or mobile phones to send hurtful messages or post information to damage people’s reputation and friendships

Cyberbullies can be classmates, online acquaintances, and even anonymous users, but most often they do know their victim

Cyberbullying is an example ofbullying keeping pace with

technology

Cyberbullying blocks out thenuance of tone of voice and body

language

This type of behaviour oftenhappens outside school on homecomputers or via mobile phones

Young people are afraid often totell for fear it will make it worse

They can also be afraid to tell forfear that adults will take awaytheir mobile phone, computer

and/or internet access In most cases, cyberbullies know

their targets, but their victimsdon’t always know the personbullying them. This can lead to

severe feelings of isolation

Tips for Parents

Be the one to introduce your child to the web.

Don’t be too critical of your child’s exploration of the internet.

Encourage them to be careful when disclosing personal information

Keep the computer or laptop in a shared area of the house

The positive aspects of the internet outweigh the negative

Report online material you may consider illegal to the appropriate authorities

Talk about the risks of meeting online friends. Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr(blogging) and the new chat apps such as WhatsApp and Kik Messenger(where groups can share pictures and messages are now snapping at the heels of Facebook as the top networking site).

Encourage your children to be critical of information they find online.

Encourage respect for others as in everyday life.

Know your child’s internet use. This generation’s digital footprint will

have begun at 10 or 11. Children of 10 or 11 are now

clamouring to be on Twitter or Instagram.

Young children should never access the digital world without an adult there to hold their hands.

Two hours’ screen time a day(including TV) is increasingly accepted by experts as a healthy maximum.

Two worth avoiding are: Omegle which sets up conversations with strangers, and Snapchat, where you can share pictures which then disappear(but there is nothing to stop someone taking a screen shot of the picture and sharing it.

Watch out for things like absenteeism from school; sad or angry especially after using phone or PC; sudden disinterest in computers; rapidly switching screens when you enter the room

Key Advice for Young People

Don’t reply to messages that harass or annoy you even though this might be your first reaction

Keep the message. You don’t have to read it. Keep a record that outlines the details, dates and times of any form of bullying that you experience

Tell someone you trust. The worstpart of bullying is the loneliness.

You can also call Childline on1800 66 66 66

Block the Sender. On your Beboprofile or on MSN you can blockthe person by simply clicking the

block button On some mobile phones you can

restrict communications to anapproved list of contacts. You canalso have your number changed

Report Problems. Responsiblewebsites and mobile phone

operators provide ways for theirusers to report things such as

pornography, bullying content, orother offensive material

If you feel it necessary you canreport serious incidents to theGardai. Illegal issues include

someone making inappropriatesexual suggestions, racist remarks,

or persistent bullying that isseriously damaging to the victim’s

well-being

Useful Websites www.webwise.ie Provides parents, teachers

and students with educational resources, advice and information about potential dangers on-line

www.watchyourspace.ie Advice on managing children’s profiles on social networking sites

Office for Internet Safety. Get With It. A Guide to Cyberbullying. Can be downloaded