CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR THE CHURCH? REALLY · conflict and dispute management and all the tools to...

PASTORAL EMPOWERMENT

11-12 SEPTEMBER 2017

CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR THE CHURCH?

REALLY !

© Commission for Conciliation, Mediation & Arbitration 2017 2 September 2017

THE PRESENTER

Joseph Thee - CCMA Senior

Commissioner, Mediator and Arbitrator.

Managing Director- Mutual Gain Africa Ltd.

Panelist on Public and Private tribunals

e.g. SAFA, SA Rugby disciplinary

Committees. Studied law at the UWC and

UNISA. Diplomas’ in Business, Human

Resources Management and Labour law

Henley University and UNISA. Formerly:

Executive member in City of Cape To, wn

responsible for corporate services, South

African Local Government Association.

Ambassador to Republic of Cuba.

Detachee to Embassy in Nigeria

© Commission for Conciliation, Mediation & Arbitration 2017 3

Purpose of this programme

I am sure your expectation was to develop an understanding of

conflict and dispute management and all the tools to create a

peaceful and harmonious assembly. An all academic approach.

Should the church be interested in dispute resolution?

Different answers to the question or views:

Perhaps you have all the answers

Man of God ordained

Given the authority, Anointed

I only listen to my Father in heaven

Are we part of the worldly doctrines.September 2017


Attended bible school

Perhaps an issue for others not for me

My view:

this is not a side issue

the church name is being brought into disrepute

simple self interest suggest we will be better off

Christian churches have a mandate from their founder, Jesus

said to the disciples, blessed are the peacemakers for they shall

be called children of GOD (Mat 5:9)

September 2017

Continue


He goes further and says. “Let your light shine that others may

see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven”

In other words, Christians children of God – show the family ,

likeness to their Father when they are taking active steps in

building peace.

I’m happy that the AFM is leading the way. Our pastors are true

men of God.? They are a shining light and lead by example!

I know right now people walk into churches and are changed by

the love of God

they are struck by the togetherness

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Continue


Need for dispute res cont..

many are being changed by jus a visit

Reality this is not the whole story: why ?

Some church meetings are degenerating into shouting matches

Some Christians are nothing than being straight forward

The church is making the news head lines for wrong reasons

Is it not time that the church start listening or have we became

to arrogant.

Was it not James (Jam 1:19) who wrote to Christians who were

fighting and says: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to

become angry” September 2017


Question: why do so many churches around the world are

involved in conflict and dispute resolution. Well if you in search of

a better health certain steps will be taken. Exercise, balance diet

etc. is it simply a question of fix it My answer will be conflict in life

is not predictable. Its about people , not just problems.

Its not a quick fix. Peace makers are people who breathe grace,

and draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ ,

and bring his love, mercy , forgiveness , strength , wisdom to the

conflicts of their daily life. CCMA story…… , traditionally, who are

commissioners recent changes, disputes referred, misconduct ,

breaches, consequences

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Relationship with God and pursue a God fearing disciplined

lifestyle

daily prayer, study and reading

love , care , protect

not seek separation

promote brotherly love

to refrain members to resign and abide by the rules of the

church. This oath was signed by ordained pastors.

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AFM pastoral code of conduct


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CONFLICT SOURCES

(conflict causes)

AGGRAVATORS/MODERATORS

(conflict triggers)

CONFLICT BEHAVIOUR

(manifest conflict)

Differing goals

Differing values

Scarce resources

Ambiguity

Co-ordination

Aspirations

Perceptions

History of relations

Use of strategies

Constituencies

Tolerance

Balance of power

Acceptable procedures, forums, standards,

third party institutions

Violence

Coercion

Sabotage

Strikes

Negotiation

Co-operative problem solving

Use of third parties

Litigation

Termination of relations

Sources of conflict


Approaches to handling conflict

Confronting

Avoidance

Compromise

Capitulation / Accepting

Problem Solving

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AVOIDING

APPROPRIATE INAPPROPRIATE

when the issue is trivial

when the relationship is insignificant

when time is limited and a decision is not necessary

when you have limited power but

wish to frustrate the other side

when you both care about the relationship and the issue

when this is a standard response to conflict

when negative feelings may linger

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Do and dont’s of various styles


When is conflict-handling behaviour

(in)appropriate? (cont’d)

CONFRONTING


when an emergency looms

where imminent harm is to be avoided

when you are sure you are right and being right matters more than the relationship

when the issue is trivial and the

other party doesn’t care happens

when joint problem solving has not yet been attempted

when co-operation of others if important

when it becomes a standard response to conflict

when self-respect is damaged as a result

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COMPROMISING


when cooperation is important but time or resources are limited

when finding a solution, perhaps not the best one, is better than deadlock

when creative problem solving is essential

when you or your constituency can’t live with the outcome

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avoidance seeks to put off disputes indefinitely

delaying

ignoring , hoping the problem resolves itself

those doing this has low power, low esteem

this only works if the target is unproductive for a while




PROBLEM SOLVING


when the issues and the relationship are important

when future cooperation is important

when a creative outcome is important

when it is possible to meet all interests

when time is limited

when the issues are unimportant

when the goals of the other side are not bona fide

when the other party refuses to disclose information

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Negotiation is an alternative to several other decision-making

alternatives. It’s a process where mandated groups meet together

in to order to resolve their differences and reach agreement.

Other methods include:

Persuasion;

Instruction;

Coercion;

Litigation;

Mediation and Arbitration.

Successful negotiators are successful people and are trained as

such. September 2017

Negotiations as a tool. Why negotiate ?


Negotiation skills

Negotiation is the process by which two parties adjust their stated

positions so that they can reach a mutually satisfying agreement.

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Applying the interest-based approach to

managing conflict

Separating the people from the problem.

Focusing on interests, not positions.

Generating a variety of possible options and suggesting them as

a possible solution.

Insisting that the outcome of the negotiations be based on a

mutually agreed objective standard.

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Applying the interest based approach to

managing conflict (cont’d)

THERE ARE TWO ASPECTS TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT

THE SUBSTANCE THE PROCESS

What you are negotiating about

How you negotiate

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Applying the interest based approach to

managing conflict (cont’d)

• Separate people from the problem

Approach one

• Focus on interests, not positions

Approach two

• Generate options for mutual gain

Approach three

• Use objective criteria

Approach four

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Negotiation Styles

WIN-LOSE approach

AGREEING TO DISAGREE approach

AVOIDING approach

WIN-WIN approach

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Difference between interests and positions

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What we really want

What we must have

What we say we want

Conflicts Hierarchy

Interests

Needs

Positions


Dealing with threats

1. Consider the threat

2. Let the words sink in

3. Repeat, rephrase or recap

4. Review your plan

5. Choose your response.

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Suggestions on how to enhance your

negotiating skills

Awareness of the negotiating framework

Be aware of your negotiating style(s)

Immediately after a negotiation, analyse the way you feel about

the negotiation and how you managed it

Respond as naturally and instinctively as possible

Develop your listening skills

Be conscious of the reaction of others

Seek feedback from others whom you trustSeptember 2017


Inventing options for mutual gain

Normally negotiations end up as win-lose outcomes, why?

How can we improve our outcome?

Separate the inventing of options from making decisions.

Look for mutual gain.

Make their decisions easy by putting yourself in their shoes.

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The process to be followed when generating

options

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Preparing and planning for negotiation

BATNAWATNA

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Preparing and planning for negotiation

INVENT IMPROVE TURN SELECT

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How to become an effective negotiator

Work at your listening skills

Choose questions wisely

Be aware of how you respond

Giving too much information at once

Rejecting alternatives

Not using team members effectively

Assess and re-assess after the negotiations

Seek feedback from colleagues

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Typical mistakes made in negotiation

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Key learnings

Effective listening enables conciliators to create supportive

environments for parties.

Body language is critical in listening skills.

Asking questions helps to understand a problem.

Conciliators must be informed & driven by a social justice vision

for role in the church and in leadership positions

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Key learnings (cont’d)

Mediators and leaders have an ethical duty requiring them to act

in the church best interests.

It is important for mediators and leaders to understand their own

prejudices, intolerances and attitudes.

The purpose of the Code of Conduct is to assist in maintaining

the good reputation of the office of the Ministry and to provide

guidance to all administrators and ministers on matters of

professional conduct and practice generally.

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Purpose of section 4

To develop an understanding of:

A six stage model conciliation process

1. Pre-conciliation Tasks

2. Introductions and Rule Setting

3. Preliminary Issues

4. Story-telling

5. Problem-solving

6. Closure

What is expected of a conciliator during these stages.

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Be impartial and declare any conflict of interest

Acceptance of the conflicting parties

The ability to gain trust and respect of the parties

Clear thinking in identifying the real problem

Offer practical solutions

Knowledge about the organisation, structures, strategies

Know the constitution, policies and agreements

Be tactful, diplomatic with persuasion skills , strong character

Be a good listener

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How to be an effective mediator


Introduction and rule-setting

Welcome Introductions Explain process

Set ground rules

DisclosureSet ground

rules

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Story - telling

Clarifying the dispute.

Reducing the tension.

Developing a strategy.

Determining which party should start.

Ensuring the dispute is understood.

Side caucuses.

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Problem solving

Assisting members, leaders to better understand the dispute.

Assist to generate options to resolve the dispute.

Managing separate sessions.

Extracting needs.

Reality testing & clarifying.

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2. Introduction

Welcome and Introductions

Explain the process

Setting ground rules

Disclosure

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Outlining the conciliation process


Six stage conciliation model checklist (cont’d)

3.Procedural Rulings (where necessary)

Appropriate person

4. Story-telling

Explanation

First party tells story

Ensure you understand

The other party tells story

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5. Problem-Solving

Using skills

Looking at options

6. Closure

The agreement

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Pre-conciliation Introduction

Procedural Rulings

Story Telling

Problem solving

Closure

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Key learnings (cont’d)

The story-telling stage entails each party “telling their story” with

the other party being given the opportunity to clarify details & the

conciliator checking to see whether the parties have correctly

understood the dispute.

The problem-solving stage involves the conciliator assisting the

parties to identify their real needs, options & BATNA.

When mediating mutual interest disputes the parties have

additional requirements from a commissioner.

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Questions and Answers

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The end …

September 2017

CONFLICT RESOLUTION FOR THE CHURCH? REALLY · conflict and dispute management and all the tools to...

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