Conflict Management · CONFLICT MANAGEMENT Dr. David Schroeder President, Pillar College . CONFLICT...
Transcript of Conflict Management · CONFLICT MANAGEMENT Dr. David Schroeder President, Pillar College . CONFLICT...
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Dr. David Schroeder
President, Pillar College
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Learning from Israel’s
Warrior King, Leader
the man after God’s
own Heart!
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DAVID EXPERIENCED EVERY POSSIBLE CONFLICT, AS A…
• Son – youngest
• Shepherd – lions and bears
• Brother – six brothers
• Warrior – Goliath and Philistines
• Palace Minstrel – dodging spears
• Prince – bad marriage
• Renegade – 600 fugitives
• Murderer - Uriah
• Man of God – many sins
• Tribal King - “brother enemies”
• National King - ungodly enemies
• Family man
• Husband / Adulterer
• Father – Amnon, Tamar,
Absalom
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DAVID’S CONFLICT WITH HIMSELF?
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The most difficult
person you will ever
have to manage is…
YOU
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…AND YOUR SELF-MANAGEMENT CRISES OCCUR WHEN..
• You try to have a different persona in your
different roles and environments
• At home At work
• At the club At inlaws
• At school At church
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THE SOURCE OF ALL CONFLICTS
• And there was war in heaven,
Michael and his angels waging
war with the dragon. The dragon
and his angels waged war, and
they were not strong enough,
and there was no longer a place
found for them in heaven.
• And the great dragon was
thrown down, the serpent of old
who is called the devil and Satan,
who deceives the whole world;
he was thrown down to the earth,
and his angels were thrown
down with him.
• Revelation 12:7-9
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FUELING CONFLICTS
• 2 Timothy 3:1-4
• But realize this, that in the last days
difficult times will come. For men will
be lovers of self, lovers of money,
boastful, arrogant, revilers,
disobedient to parents, ungrateful,
unholy, unloving, irreconcilable,
malicious gossips, without self-
control, brutal, haters of good,
treacherous, reckless, conceited,
lovers of pleasure rather than lovers
of God,
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FUELING CONFLICTS
• But, sometimes…
• James 4:1
• What is causing the quarrels
and fights among you? Don’t
they come from the evil
desires at war within you?
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PRINCIPLES FOR RESTORING RELATIONSHIPS
Learning when to:
Retreat or Restrain
Retaliate or Reconcile
Repent and Restore
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POTENTIAL PERSONAL CONFLICTS
• Three relationships we all have
•Superiors
•Peers
•Subordinates
• Most of us are adept at one of
these, okay at another, and
deficient in the other.
• How would you assess your EQI
in these relationships?
• Where is conflict most likely to
arise?
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DAVID EXPERIENCED CONFLICTS AS A…
•Man of God –
many sins
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DAVID’S CONFLICT WITH GOD WAS DUE TO HIS SIN
• Adultery and murder
were the result of ?
• idleness?
• lust?
• power?
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WE HAVE CONFLICTS WITH…
•God
• Many conflicts directed toward
other people are really due to
anger at God.
• Anger at God is usually due to a
huge disappointment or hurt
• Remedy: Repent (don’t retreat)t;
confess, forgive (trust)
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DAVID EXPERIENCED CONFLICTS AS A…
•Tribal King -
“brother
enemies”
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WE HAVE CONFLICTS WITH…
“enemy
brothers”
(colleagues)
• Colleagues
• Remedy: reconcile, don’t
retaliate; pursue peace (Eph
4:1-3}; speak the truth in love
(Eph 4:15); sacrifice your
rights (Eph 5:1, 2)
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Handling σκάνδαλα with colleagues • He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling
blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come! 2 It
would be better for him if a millstone were hung around
his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he
would cause one of these little ones to stumble. 3 Be on
your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he
repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven
times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I
repent,’ forgive him.” Luke 17:1-4
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“IT IS INEVITABLE…”
Four approaches to peace:
PEACE FAKERS
PEACE BREAKERS
PEACE MAKERS
PEACE KEEPERS
(Which two are biblical?}
• Peace Fakers – in total denial; afraid
to confront; peace at any price
• Peace Breakers –
• combative; competitive; philoneika,
Love of winning; Luke 22:
• Some conflicts are unavoidable;
Luke 12:1-4; 51-53
• Peace Makers – Matthew 5: 9
• Peace Keepers - compromise
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CONFLICTS BETWEEN…
•Colleagues
• Remedy: reconcile
• The OFFENDER
• “Therefore, if you are offering your
gift at the altar and there remember
that your brother has something
against you, leave your gift there in
front of the altar. First go and be
reconciled to your brother; then
come and offer your gift.”
• Matthew 5:23-24
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CONFLICTS BETWEEN…
•Colleagues
• Remedy: Restore
• THE OFFENDED
• “If your brother sins again you, go and show
him his fault, just between the two of you. If
he listens to you, you have won your brother
over. But if he will not listen, take one or two
others along, so that ‘every matter may be
established by the testimony of two or three
witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them,
tell it to the church; and if he refuses to
listen even to the church, treat him as you
would a pagan or a tax collector.”
• Matthew 18:15-17
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DAVID EXPERIENCED CONFLICTS AS A…
•National King –
ungodly enemies
• (Competitors)
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WE HAVE CONFLICTS WITH …
Ungodly enemies
Critics
• Impersonal: Government, social agenda
people; bureaucrats, police, judges,
stingy affluent; non-Christian worldviews
• Personal adversaries:
• Strategies Jesus gave for responding to
non-believer aggression:
• Matthew 5:38-39; 43-48
• Romans 12:17-21
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DAVID EXPERIENCED CONFLICTS AS A…
•Family man:
•Husband /
Adulterer
•Father – Amnon,
Tamar, Absalom
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WE HAVE CONFLICTS WITH…
Family:
•Spouse
•Children
Review and fulfill
marriage vows
love (cherish);
respect (submit)
Eph 6:4; Col 3:21
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THE GOLDEN RULE
•Do to others whatever you would like them
to do to you.
• Matthew 7:12
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THE PLATINUM RULE; AGAPE…
• Is slow to lose patience
• looks for a way of being constructive
• Is not possessive
• Is not anxious to impress
• does not allow me to cherish inflated ideas of my own importance
• has good manners
• does not pursue selfish advantage
• Is not touchy
• does not allow me to keep account of past sins,
• or gloat over present errors
• Is glad when righteousness and truth reign in our relationship
• knows no limit to its endurance,
• no end to its trust,
• no fading of its hope
• can outlast anything.
• Is the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen
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THE GREAT COMFORT
Love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8