Conflict as Opportunity - managing conflict and creating a healthy climate for the exchange of...
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Conflict as Opportunity - managing conflict and creating a healthy climate for the exchange of
information and understanding
Mediation - serious staff conflicts - alternative to disciplinary action- “insider neutrals”- transferable skills
“At ISP we believe that conflict is neither good nor bad but natural. We seek to create an open community, climate and culture that is able to embrace diverse perspectives and approaches. We expect differences to be expressed respectfully and we intend for each member of our community to develop the ability to listen to, hear and acknowledge different points of view”.
1. Mediating serious interpersonal conflicts
2. Creating a climate that deals openly with
conflict
3. Learning to become better at managing
difficult conversations and crucial
confrontations
Situations
•When did I handle conflict well?
•When did it go wrong?
Crucial Conversations
Crucial Confrontations
• Talking to colleagues about offensive behaviour
• Critiquing a colleague’s work
• Talking to a team member not keeping commitments
• Talking to a colleague about a personal problem
• Giving boss feedback about behaviour
• Approaching boss who is breaking own principles
Challenging conversations:
Why might it go wrong?
- design fault?
Reason and Emotion
Fight or Flight?
The Amygdala
Difference is………….
- how you respond when things go wrong
- how you handle difficult situations or conversations
Conflict Behaviour Styles
Concern for Self
Accommodation
Collaboration
Compromise
Avoidance Competition
Causes of Conflict . . .
AssumptionAppreciationAcknowledgementRespectResources
Active Listening
Being Heard
Positions v Interests
Assuming that others do things because its in their make-up or they actually enjoy doing them and then ignoring any other potential motivational forces - is a mistake.Psychologists classify this mistake as an attribution error. And because it happens so consistently across people, time and places, it is called the
Fundamental Attribution Error
Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002
Me v You Situational v Dispositional
The Pool of Shared Meaning
Successful communication - free flow of information
Freely shared feelings, opinions, theories - even when controversial or unpopular
Safe for everyone to add their meaning to the pool
QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002
Dark waters?
Silence - disengagement,
avoidance, hints,
sarcasm
Violence
verbal attacks, discrediting others,
subtle manipulation,getting others to mistrust
QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
Monitor the pointers……………
Learn to Look
Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002
• Step out of the issue• Check what aspect of safety is at risk -
mutual purpose?
mutual respect?
Make it safe!
Fix it -- Apologise- Contrast to Clarify- Find and Commit to a mutual purpose- Return to the issue and brainstorm strategies
Make it safe!
QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
Monitor the pointers……………
Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002
•Start with the Heart•Focus the Brain•Master My Stories
Find your bearings……………..
•What do you really want to happen?
•What do you fear might happen?
•What emotions are you bringing to the dialogue? - guilt? - fear? - anger?
•Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan,
Switzler. 2002
•Crucial Confrontations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan,
Switzler. 2005
•vitalsmarts.com
•The Mediation Handbook; Beer, Stief.1997
•Mediation for Managers: John Crawley, Katherine
Graham, www.conflictmanagementplus.com
•The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook; Senge, Kleiner,
Roberts, Ross and Smith. 1994