Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral...

CommunicatePowerfullyWithout Being AYou-Know-What

ByMichelle Villalobos

The Coral Gables Chamberpresents

Thursday, October 21, 2010

“Companies with the most women in senior management positions

had a 35% higher return on equity and a 34% higher return

to shareholders.”– Catalyst Study


Only 15 Fortune 500 companies (3.0%) and 28 Fortune 1000 companies (2.8%)

are run by women. Only 20% of top management positions in the U.S.

are held by women.– CNNmoney.com, May 2009

yet...


“Women who adopt a masculine, ‘alpha-female’

approach in the office earn more [and get

promoted more] than than their more passive

female colleagues.”– Businessweek, July 2010

and:


“When women bully, they choose fellow women as targets 71% of the time.”

– Workplace Bullying Institute (quoted by

Time.com)

by the way:


“the feminization of leadership”


overcoming the “credibility gap”


the little girlThursday, October 21, 2010

the strong womanThursday, October 21, 2010

the psycho bit**Thursday, October 21, 2010

• always needs to win• doesn’t listen• doesn’t trust• loud• talks very fast

• never needs to win• only listens• too trusting• quiet• talks very slowly

poll: where are you?

• just right


Communicate Powerfully(Without Being A Bit**)


1. develop self-awareness


Look

Sound

Act

Speak

Words Attitude

Space Tempo


2. how you look


what do you notice?


3. what you say (& how you say it)


do you ask for permission to

speak up?Can I ask a question?

I just want to add one thing

Would you mind if I said something?

I have an idea I’d like to share, if you don’t mind

May I add something?Thursday, October 21, 2010

lose the “psychobabble”rambling & nervous chatter

“blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment... “present...” “The Secret...” “The Law of Attraction”

and... and... and...“I’m suuuuch an Aquarius (giggle)”

“I feeeeel...”


try:

“um”“you know”

“ahhh”“like”

...pausing...rhetorical question

...dramatic pause

...drop altogether

delete verbal filler

instead of:


“I”

blames you for issues that aren’t yours

childish

takes focus off the facts

not effective leadership (it’s not about you)

often leads to “psychobabble”

(i.e., “feel,” “think,” “believe”)

* How To Say It For WomenPhyllis Mindell, Ed.D.


“you”Thursday, October 21, 2010

“feel”Thursday, October 21, 2010

onlyjust

you knowreally

in my opinionsort ofkind of

apparentlyI’m not an expert, but

I may not be qualified, butbut

maybeI guess


“I don’t have enough time to complete that job”

* How To Say It For WomenPhyllis Mindell, Ed.D.

“I like the way you closed that deal”

“I noticed that the office wasn’t cleaned up”

“I feel good about this project”

“the job is too complex for the time given”_______________________________

_________________________“nice job on closing that deal”

“who was supposed to clean up?”_____________________________

“our team will do a great job on this project”_____________________


volume, tone, tempo & inflection


lowerslowerlouder

vshigherfastersofter

which is preferable?


4. sarcasm & other passive-aggressive behavior


“Thanks for doing such a great job. Really, thanks.

“Everything is great. Just perfect.”

“It’s not like you do anything anyways.”

“Whatever you say.”


•we often use to “soften”•men can’t read well•smiling when angry•passive aggressive

the fake smile... (the real one too)


•be solution-oriented•address sarcasm straight-up “was

that meant to be sarcastic?”•ask for alternate behavior •use active listening to uncover the

real issue (ask!)•talk about that (honestly)


5. exuding confidence


Self-esteem


HumilityModestyShyness

BashfulnessConstraintCoyness

DemurenessDiffidence

HumblenessInhibitionInnocenseMeekness

Lack of pretensionPurity

QuietnessReserve

Self-effacementTimidity

vs.


How do you respond to compliments?


what will you work on to communicate more powerfully

(without being a you-know-what)?


Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.

for more...www.MichelleVillalobos.com

Call Jessica Lurie (888) 531-3830

[email protected]


http://www.MichelleVillalobos.com

http://www.MichelleVillalobos.com

mailto:[email protected]

mailto:[email protected]

mpoweredThe

omanWE

Success Summit & Expo– November 11 & 12, 2010 –Miami Museum of Science

This isn’t another boring, “rah-rah,” “woo-woo” women’s event. You’ll walk

away with practical advice, strategies and taactics to help you sell, market &

promote yourself, so you can survive and THRIVE in the “new economy.”

www.EmpoweredWoman.info

Miami’s Biggest

Women’s Business Event!

Passes start at just $10.

Miami


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