THE PEACEMAKERS’ DIVORCE

The Collaborative Approach is:

A way for attorneys to take on the role that they were meant to assume when working with families in conflict, as Counselors-at-Law, with everyone agreeing in writing not to go to court.

• With a Collaborative Practice divorce, each adult hires a Collaborative Practice lawyer, who protects & guides each spouse.

• Spouses meet privately with their lawyers, as well as together with each other & their lawyers.

The Collaborative Approach is:

The Collaborative Approach is:• Additional experts, such as

divorce coaches & child & financial specialists, may join the process or are perhaps the first professional consulted.

• The shared professional team is a valuable benefit as they work together with spouses, promoting good decision-making in a time of crisis, ultimately helping to create a solid foundation for the family’s future.

• Professionals committed to help couples resolve their divorce as fairly & amicably as possible. 

• All meetings are intended to promote honest exchange of information & clear understanding about needs & expectations, especially about the well-being of children.

The Collaborative Approach is:

The Collaborative Approach is:

• Mutual problem-solving by all parties leads to the final divorce agreement.

• Combined decades of experience & education of the Collaborative Law team using this process, which promotes resolution of divorce matters uniquely tailored to family’s needs. 

The Collaborative Approach is:

• About preserving family relationships.

• About managing disputes within families, businesses, work settings & neighborhoods.

• About constructively addressing paternity cases & prenuptial agreements.

• Not just about divorce but for all civil procedures.

The Collaborative Approach is:

• One of the best kept secrets.

• When we do our work well, no one outside the process knows about it.

• The best kept secret is that you do not have to go bankrupt when you divorce & it does not have to hurt so much.

• A way of life.

Collaborative Law Principles: • An agreement is signed

by spouses & their lawyers to allow parties to resolve issues without court appearances.

• An open exchange of information by both spouses is required.

• Goal is to determine a maximum outcome & possibilities that reflect the most important priorities for each spouse & their children.

The Benefits of Collaborative Approaches:

• Maintain control over personal, private information.

• Eliminates the high cost of courtroom litigation.

• Often reduces the time to address legal issues.

- Each family’s situation determines how quickly the divorce process proceeds.

- Collaborative Practice can be more direct & efficient.

• Reduces the time to address legal issues.

- With focus on problem-solving, instead of blame & grievances, this process is less antagonistic & more respectful.

- Full disclosure & open communications assure all issues are addressed in a timely manner.

- By settling out of court, there is no wait for the multiple court dates necessary with conventional divorce.

• Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective communication tools.

- Guiding principle of Collaborative Practice is respect.

- Respectful tone encourages all involved to be more reasonable, understanding & cooperative.

• Learn/develop/practice/acquire more effective communication tools.

- Collaborative professionals are trained in non-confrontational negotiation, helping to keep discussions productive. - Goal of Collaborative Practice is building settlement on areas of agreement, not perpetuating disagreement.

• Focus on problem solving, rather than faultfinding.

Why do family law professional peacemakers conclude collaboration is the best way, when often

they make less money from each family served?

• Increased pride & personal satisfaction in what can be achieved within a collaborative system.

• Vicarious joy in witnessing the preservation of more cordial family relationships following divorce.

• Children’s sense of well-being is fostered by parental harmony.

• Children experience the healing aspects of collaborative process, because it enables the family to remain connected.

• Personal stress is decreased.• The collaborative approach reduces the negativity

typically created by going to court. Thus, extended family & significant others are not drawn into a dreadful process.

The Cost of Adversarialism:

• Not just paid in dollars.

• Loss of productivity & control of outcome.

• Length of time to conclude.

• Protracted stress.

• Beginning of the odyssey of conflict.

The Cost of Adversarialism:• Who really profits from

protracted litigation?

• Resources are redirected from the family to the adversarial system.

• Enemies gained when there is a face off in court.

• Expect judge to fix it? Judge will chop resources in half & create a mess.

The Cost of Adversarialism:

• Do you have an emotional budget?

• What about the performance factor?

• What’s your comfort level communicating personal information in a stressful, public forum?

Why are those in the “public eye” choosing an alternative to court-

processed divorce?• March 1, 2013 -

Billionaire T. Boone Pickens, energy tycoon.

• A man who knows a good deal when he sees one.

• Used a collaborative divorce approach in his recent parting of ways from his fourth wife, Madeleine.

• “The collaborative approach saves both money & emotional wear & tear on families.”

• “Collaborative law keeps everything on a high level, & everybody cooperating.”

Pickens told Bill Heathcock, Staff Writer for the

Dallas Business Journal:

• Pickens is such a believer in the process that he gave the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas $100,000.

• Pickens, famous for saying “the first billion is the hardest ,” said his second divorce was the toughest. He did not use the collaborative approach on that one.

• How much did Mr. Pickens tell Mr. Hethcock the collaborative approach saved his family?

• “Money?...several million.”

QUESTIONS?

COMMENTS?

THE END