Cognitive and Social Origins Cognitive and Social Origins of Attractionof Attraction

Cognitive and Social Origins Cognitive and Social Origins of Attractionof Attraction

• Open Gross’s sample chapter on Open Gross’s sample chapter on Interpersonal Relationships.Interpersonal Relationships.

• Read the bottom of page 434 and all Read the bottom of page 434 and all of 435.of 435.

•According to Byrne According to Byrne (1971), our self-esteem (1971), our self-esteem is boosted when other is boosted when other people share our own people share our own views and values.views and values.

Attraction-similarity modelAttraction-similarity model

• Morry (2007)Morry (2007)

• ““people tend to see friends and people tend to see friends and partners as similar to themselves”partners as similar to themselves”

• People are attracted to those they People are attracted to those they percieve as being similar to percieve as being similar to themselves – enhancing the self-themselves – enhancing the self-esteem of both parties.esteem of both parties.

Markey et al (2007)Markey et al (2007)

• Using questionnaires, young people Using questionnaires, young people were asked to describe themselves were asked to describe themselves and an ideal romantic partner.and an ideal romantic partner.

• Findings:Findings:

• People want partners who are similar People want partners who are similar to themselves.to themselves.

The role of self-esteem in The role of self-esteem in relationship formationrelationship formation• Kiesler and Baral (1970)Kiesler and Baral (1970)

• Aim: To determine whether self-Aim: To determine whether self-esteem affects men’s willingness to esteem affects men’s willingness to engage in conversation with an engage in conversation with an attractive woman.attractive woman.

• What kind of experiment might they What kind of experiment might they have used?have used?

The role of self-esteem in The role of self-esteem in relationship formationrelationship formation• Kiesler and Baral (1970)Kiesler and Baral (1970)

• Aim: To determine whether self-esteem Aim: To determine whether self-esteem affects men’s willingness to engage in affects men’s willingness to engage in conversation with an attractive woman.conversation with an attractive woman.

• What kind of experiment might they What kind of experiment might they have used?have used?

• Read page 277 to find out.Read page 277 to find out.

Reward/need Satisfaction Theory Reward/need Satisfaction Theory (Clore & Byrne, 1974): the why…(Clore & Byrne, 1974): the why…

Theory in a nutshell:Theory in a nutshell: “We are attracted to individuals whose “We are attracted to individuals whose presence is rewarding for us”presence is rewarding for us”

Research has shown that the following have reward value:Research has shown that the following have reward value:

ProximityProximity – Physical closeness we are social animals and need to – Physical closeness we are social animals and need to be with others (affiliation) be with others (affiliation)

Exposure and Familiarity Exposure and Familiarity – Proximity increases possibility of – Proximity increases possibility of interaction (exposure) which leads to familiarity. We like interaction (exposure) which leads to familiarity. We like familiar things and find them rewarding. familiar things and find them rewarding.

SimilaritySimilarity - “Birds of a feather flock together” This is rewarding - “Birds of a feather flock together” This is rewarding as people who think like us make us feel more confident of our as people who think like us make us feel more confident of our own opinions which boosts our self esteem. We also think that own opinions which boosts our self esteem. We also think that people like us will like us, so we like them. This is called: people like us will like us, so we like them. This is called:

Reciprocal Liking Reciprocal Liking – “I like you because you like me!” If you know – “I like you because you like me!” If you know someone likes you it makes you feel good and so is rewarding.someone likes you it makes you feel good and so is rewarding.

Physical AttractivenessPhysical Attractiveness According to the attractiveness According to the attractiveness stereotype (Dion et al 1972) we think attractive looking people stereotype (Dion et al 1972) we think attractive looking people have more attractive personalities , and we are rewarded with have more attractive personalities , and we are rewarded with kudos of being with an attractive personkudos of being with an attractive person

So where is the evidence for all this?So where is the evidence for all this?

Reciprocity: Liking Others Reciprocity: Liking Others Who Like UsWho Like Us• Reciprocity: We like people who like usReciprocity: We like people who like us

– An enormously powerful effectAn enormously powerful effect

– How to win friends and influence peopleHow to win friends and influence people (Dale Carnegie, 1937)(Dale Carnegie, 1937)•Sold 15 million copiesSold 15 million copies

– If you want others to like you, make sure If you want others to like you, make sure they know you like them!they know you like them!

Reciprocity: Liking Others Reciprocity: Liking Others Who Like UsWho Like Us

• ProcedureProcedure– Female pairs met several times to discuss Female pairs met several times to discuss

topicstopics– P overheard follow-up conversation btw her P overheard follow-up conversation btw her

partner and experimenterpartner and experimenter•¼ constantly positive comments about her¼ constantly positive comments about her•¼ constantly negative comments about her¼ constantly negative comments about her•¼ negative to positive comments about her (gain)¼ negative to positive comments about her (gain)•¼ positive to negative comments about her (loss)¼ positive to negative comments about her (loss)

• Results: P liked partner when evaluation Results: P liked partner when evaluation changed from negative to positive (gain)changed from negative to positive (gain)

Proximity: Liking People who Proximity: Liking People who are Nearbyare Nearby• The single best predictor of attraction The single best predictor of attraction • Where we live & work influences the friends we make.Where we live & work influences the friends we make.

““If you can’t be with the one you love, If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”honey, love the one you’re with.”

Westgate West: Housing at MIT ~1949

(Festinger, 1950)

Proximity: Liking People who are Proximity: Liking People who are NearbyNearbyEvidence:Evidence:

• Close friendsClose friends::

– Next door neighbours: Next door neighbours: 41%41%

– Two doors down: 22%Two doors down: 22%

– Opposite ends of hallway: Opposite ends of hallway: 10%10%

• ““Contrary to popular belief, Contrary to popular belief, I do not believe that friends I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people are necessarily the people you like best; they are you like best; they are merely the people who got merely the people who got there first.” (Sir Peter there first.” (Sir Peter Ustinov, 1977)Ustinov, 1977)

Festinger 1950Festinger 1950

• Leon Festinger’s study was Leon Festinger’s study was conducted in 1950 though, before conducted in 1950 though, before the digital age.the digital age.

• People are not so reliant today on People are not so reliant today on geographic proximity for making geographic proximity for making friends and relationships.friends and relationships.

Why does Proximity Work?Why does Proximity Work? Availability: Availability:

More likely to meet, so more likely More likely to meet, so more likely to form a relationship.to form a relationship.

Mere exposureMere exposure The more often people are exposed The more often people are exposed to an object, the more positively they to an object, the more positively they evaluate that object: Humans like evaluate that object: Humans like familiar things, they make us feel familiar things, they make us feel safe and happy – which is rewarding.safe and happy – which is rewarding.

Exposure/Familiarity Research Exposure/Familiarity Research EvidenceEvidence

(Moreland & Beach, 1992)(Moreland & Beach, 1992)

• ProcedureProcedure– Four women and a classroomFour women and a classroom– 4 women attended class4 women attended class

•1 women 0 times1 women 0 times•1 woman 5 classes1 woman 5 classes•1 woman 10 classes1 woman 10 classes•1 woman 15 classes1 woman 15 classes

– Students rate women on traits at end of Students rate women on traits at end of semestersemester

Results The more classes the woman Results The more classes the woman attended, the more favorable her ratings attended, the more favorable her ratings became.became.

Physical AttractivenessPhysical Attractiveness

• According to the attractiveness stereotype According to the attractiveness stereotype (Dion et all 1972) we perceive attractive (Dion et all 1972) we perceive attractive people as also having more attractive people as also having more attractive personalities. (The halo effect)personalities. (The halo effect)

• ““What’s beautiful is good” What’s beautiful is good” (Dion et al., 1972)(Dion et al., 1972)

•Teachers judge attractive students as more intelligent Teachers judge attractive students as more intelligent than unattractive students (Clifford & Walster, 1973),than unattractive students (Clifford & Walster, 1973),

•Adults, and nurses in pediatric wards, punish Adults, and nurses in pediatric wards, punish unattractive children more harshly than attractive unattractive children more harshly than attractive children (Dion, 1974)children (Dion, 1974)

•Texas judges set lower bail and smaller fines for Texas judges set lower bail and smaller fines for attractive suspects (Downs & Lyons, 1991)attractive suspects (Downs & Lyons, 1991)

•Attractive people make more money (Hamermesh & Attractive people make more money (Hamermesh & Biddle, 1994) and get better job ratings from bosses Biddle, 1994) and get better job ratings from bosses (Hosoda et al., 2003)(Hosoda et al., 2003)

•Parents spend more time looking at attractive Parents spend more time looking at attractive babies!!!babies!!!

Physical Attractiveness Physical Attractiveness Research Evidence:Research Evidence:

Physical Attractiveness: Physical Attractiveness: Further supportFurther support

• Physical attractiveness is a powerful Physical attractiveness is a powerful predictor of being liked. “Beauty is a greater predictor of being liked. “Beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of recommendation than any letter of introduction” (Aristotle)introduction” (Aristotle)

• The computer dance study (1966)The computer dance study (1966)– Incoming college freshmen randomly paired for a Incoming college freshmen randomly paired for a

dancedance– The most important predictor of desire to date the The most important predictor of desire to date the

person afterwards was physical attractiveness (for person afterwards was physical attractiveness (for men and women)men and women)

– To be with someone who is attractive is rewarding To be with someone who is attractive is rewarding for the pleasure of looking at them and the kudos for the pleasure of looking at them and the kudos it gives you with your friends and competitors.it gives you with your friends and competitors.

Similarity: Liking People Who Are Similarity: Liking People Who Are Just Like UsJust Like Us

Birds of a feather flock together

Oppositesattract

Similarity: Liking People Who Similarity: Liking People Who Are Just Like UsAre Just Like Us • ProcedureProcedure

– Pairs selected based Pairs selected based on attitudeson attitudes• ½ similar attitudes½ similar attitudes

• ½ dissimilar attitudes½ dissimilar attitudes

– Pairs went on a datePairs went on a date

• ResultsResults– Highly similar pairs Highly similar pairs

were more attracted were more attracted to each other than to each other than dissimilar pairsdissimilar pairs

Birds of a feather flock together

• The matching hypothesis: The matching hypothesis: – People tend to date and marry others of People tend to date and marry others of

similar attractivenesssimilar attractiveness•Why does it happen? Why does it happen?

•People want to date attractive people, but People want to date attractive people, but rejection hurtsrejection hurts

– Possibility of rejection makes people more realisticPossibility of rejection makes people more realistic– Most attractive people pair off and are “off the Most attractive people pair off and are “off the

market”market”

Similarity: Liking People Who Similarity: Liking People Who Are Just Like UsAre Just Like Us

People seek the best but settle for what they can get!

Famous Couples – How well do Famous Couples – How well do they match?they match?

Rate them out of 10 for Rate them out of 10 for

‘matchability’‘matchability’

Matching in physical Matching in physical attractivenessattractiveness• People tend to pair with partners who are People tend to pair with partners who are

about as physically attractive as they about as physically attractive as they are. are.

• Predicts success of relationship (more Predicts success of relationship (more similar in attractiveness, more likely to similar in attractiveness, more likely to stay together)stay together)

• However, women who marry less However, women who marry less attractive men are shown to rate their attractive men are shown to rate their marriage as more satisfying. marriage as more satisfying.

LoA Biological origins of attraction

Cognitiveorigins of attraction

Socioculturalorigins of attraction

What are the factors involved?

Which studies support this LoA?

What are some strengths and limitations of this LoA?