MY PERSONAL COACHING JOURNEY 2015-16

DISCOVERING MORE ABOUT ‘WHO I AM’ AS A COACH

The first two years of a new career as a qualified Solution Focused Motivational NLP coach

have been full of learning experiences. My initial diploma training in Coaching and NLP

finished at the end of 2014. Since then it has been increasingly clear to me that at the centre

of my personal coaching philosophy lies my core belief in the ability of people to realise

and exceed their own expectations of themselves ie ‘People are amazing! However, it has

been interesting to note that at least 60% of my coachees have come for coaching because

they have been sabotaged by debilitating limiting assumptions which need re-framing if

they are to successfully engage with who they really are. It’s become increasingly clear

during 2015-16 that the essence of my coaching is to unlock people’s potential in order to

enable them to maximize their performance.

Another important influence on my coaching journey since qualifying has been the

principles of Positive Psychology. Seligman’s PERMA model for achieving happiness has

had a big influence on the way I approach the Appreciative Inquiry coaching sessions with

clients whose goal is to increase their self-esteem and achieve greater happiness.

We are, as John Whitmore has suggested, like ‘acorns’ – full of latent potential – but we

need the right encouragement, light and nourishment to become magnificent oak trees. My

job as a coach this year has been to enable my coachees to experience this for themselves.

My coaching sessions with a wide variety of individuals this year have led me to the

conclusion that too many people see themselves [and are seen by others] in terms of their

past performance, not their future potential. This results in insecurity, a lack of confidence,

compromised self-belief and frustration both with themselves and their circumstances. One

coachee in particular had been so undermined by a bullying culture in the workplace that

she couldn’t see, feel or believe in her many strengths and resources. Building my coachees

self-belief using a combination of the PERMA model and an Appreciative Inquiry approach

has been the bedrock of every coaching session. Perhaps it’s not altogether surprising that it

has often been coachees with the greatest obvious abilities who have found it most difficult

to discover what happiness really means for them. Once they have gained insights during

the coaching sessions into who they are and what they are meant to be doing [and why],

the transformation to their self-esteem has been remarkable.

One of the most important aspects of my current work as a Coach is to ‘facilitate’ self-belief

and increasing self-awareness in my coachees. This has encouraged coaches to take

responsibility for their own development in pursuit of their goals. So often clients have

come to a session feeling they don’t have choices but have left knowing that they do have

the strengths and necessary resources to make those choices!

The many models and concepts I have used from my training portfolio, including the

learning surrounding ‘surface’ & ‘deep’ language structures from the NLP practitioner

course, have encouraged me to increasingly embrace a sense of professional satisfaction in

my new role as an ‘Awareness raising facilitator of strengths & positive psychology

principles’ for my Coachees. Every coaching session leads towards a solution which is

‘owned’ by the coachee. Focusing on the problem rarely works. It only succeeds in deeply

embedding the undesirable thoughts and behaviours!

My learning journey has certainly been exciting. What a relief it is to go into every coaching

situation [whether formal or simply as part of the conversations held during a working day]

knowing that there are seldom right answers, just honest ones. The release from the

straightjacket of needing to find THE right, precise answer immediately has affected the way

I ask questions of my students in my ‘other’ role in the classroom. The responses I give to

the students feedback now seeks to draw out THEIR learning rather than to convey mine.

My coaching philosophy has affected the conversations I’ve had with many colleagues

where ‘listening deeply’ to what they are saying [verbally and through body language] has

had liberating results for them – they have loved their experience of a ‘Thinking

Environment in action’. I have been deeply grateful to Nancy Kline for her ground-breaking

book ‘The Thinking Environment’. Her wisdom regarding the art of listening ‘with rigour,

imagination, courage and grace’ has inspired me ‘to listen to ignite the human mind.’ In this

way I’ve developed my ability to be ever more present and congruent during coaching

conversations.

Mrs E.M.Paul

Solution-Focused Motivational NLP Coach

Teacher of History & Politics [Wells Cathedral School]