Clear Writing for College Students

and Wordy Emailers

Readers do not like wordy sentences—they’re frustrating, confusing, and unnecessary

(especially in emails)

Teachers: Are you assigning informational texts/units?

How to grade students’ writing?

• Why should you? Evaluating information reaches

Bloom’s highest Level: (6.Evaluate/Create)

Students need to summarize and paraphrase, not just M.C. tests

What is College Level Writing? Clear and Concise

• Fewer words the better but maintain the sentence’s meaning (ACT skill)

• Avoid a string of prepositional phrases (3 at the most)

• Avoid Wordy Phrases• Active Verb Choice (avoid

excessive use of “to be” verbs)—annotation verbs

Accurate

• Summarize and Paraphrase

• Proof students understand the material (Reading Comprehension)

• Teachers: assign assessments that require evaluation from the students, not just memorization

What is a preposition?Word that sits before a noun (or pronoun) to show the noun’s relationship to another word in the sentence (don’t say: Where you at?)

Something a squirrel can do to a tree: around, through, towards, past, of, about,…

The squirrel (noun) ran around the tree (noun).Around gives the relationship between the tree and the squirrel

Why would you use too many?• You have a lot of information you want to put

into one sentence (summarizing).

• You should spread that information over several other sentences and paragraphs.

• Look at the all the information in the following sample:

Prepositional PhrasesAs a matter of fact, the article is claiming our society needs new programs with more funding to the recipients of the program for their needs of food, shelter, and clothing so the homeless will be taken off the streets for their safety, well-being, and other stuff that pops up that the directors will need to handle with the new funding.

Huh?

Were you Right?As a matter of fact, the article is claiming

our society needs new programs with more funding to the recipients of the program for their needs of food, shelter, and clothing so the homeless will be taken off the streets for their safety, well-being, and other stuff that pops up that the directors will need to handle with the new funding.

(61 words, 8 prep phrases. Isn’t that wordy? Keep it at 3 or fewer)

Even Uglier: Look at it this WayAs a matter of fact, the article is claiming our society needs new programswith more fundingto the recipientsof the programfor their needsof food, shelter, and clothing so the homeless will be taken off the streetsfor their safety, well-being, and other stuff that pops up that the directors will need to handlewith the new funding.

(Can you rewrite with one prep phrase, fewer than 20 words, and maintain the sentence’s meaning? If so, you can write on a college level.)

Lose the Wordy PhrasesAs a matter of factDue to the fact thatIn light of the fact that at the present time at all times this day and age has the ability to

ActuallyBecauseBecauseNowAlwaysToday/nowadaysCan

Shorten Verb Phrases, Verb Usage, andKeep Them Active

…is claiming…

…will be taken off...

…pops up…

…will need to handle…

…the article claims…

…removed…

…appears/presents…

…handle…

…needs… …needs…

My New SentenceActually, the article claims new and properly funded programs will provide all of the homeless population’s needs.

(17 words and 1 prep phrase)or

…provide everything the homeless need.

(15 words and 0 prep phrases)

Has the meaning of the sentence changed?

What about Style and Voice? Over the river and through the woods

to grandmother’s house we go.

No—Gatsby turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of men.

We’re taking the scenic drive to grandma’s house?

No—Gatsby developed nicely; witnessing his behavior nearly ruined my belief in mankind, though.

Do not sacrifice concise and clear writing to establish voiceand style. Only great novelists can do that.

Email Needs Clear, Concise Language Too

Source: Gregory Ciotti (marketer and blogger of behavioral psychology)

85% of internet users use email vs. 62% use social media (Professional World)

Business is done through email more than any other means of communication

3 Common Questions asked before reading an email:1. Who is emailing me?2. What does he/she want?3. How long will this take?

Do your emails pass these questions?

“I don’t think I got that email.” (Yes, I did. I deleted it when I saw its length.)

3-B Plan3-B Plan:

1. Brevity (Use as few as words as possible—you now know how to do this)Keep subject lines brief and on topicDo Not Reply in the subject line = Do Not Open Address the Person—people like seeing their name

2. Blunt (get to the point of why the email should be read—no jokes)Get down to business in the first lineTell (Don’t Show) how recipient will benefitThank recipient for his/her time

3. Basic (don’t make me display images or open attachments every single time)

Sample Email:Subject: Presentation

Mr. Wojciechowski,

Your presentation changed my life. Will you put in on your website so I can review it?

Thanks for your time.

SHS Student