Class slides for4/06 & 4/07

Revision

Get the easy stuff right; use the sample MLA paper as a guide.

Revision

1. Do you start by explaining an existing conversation (i.e., “they say”)?

2. Do you show how your view fits into that conversation (i.e., agree, disagree, or partially agree/disagree)?

3. Do you pose – and answer – objections to your view?

4. Do you use adequate and appropriate examples to explain and clarify your view?

5. Do you explain why your ideas matter?

6. Do you conclude (rather than stop)?

Revision

Once the ideas look good, consider how you express them:

Circle every verb.

Do you have too many “to be” verbs?

Is each verb both accurate and precise?

Underline the subject for each verb.

Does every verb have a subject?

Do subjects and verbs “agree”?

Starting at the end, read each sentence aloud.

Does each sentence make sense by itself?

Revision

Once the ideas look good, consider how you express them:

Look for places to add details, clarifications, or explanations.

Look for places to change diction to make it more precise.

Look for places to cut words.

Look closely at the first line of each new paragraph: Do you show how that paragraph is connected to the preceding one?

Reconsider your opening and closing paragraphs; they are the two most important paragraphs in the paper. (Will the intro catch my attention? Will the conclusion signal that you’re finished? How am I likely to react to these two paragraphs?)

Editing

Once the ideas and expressions are good, check the little stuff:

Read the paper backwards, word by word, to check for spelling errors.

Check – or have someone else check – your punctuation.

If you summarize, paraphrase, or quote, make sure you cite your sources, and that you follow MLA guidelines.

If you have a Works Cited page, check it against the sample pages online.

Once you think everything is correct, have someone else check it as well.

Before your conference, revise your rough draft from last week, using the checklist in Chapter 11 to guide your revisions. Follow MLA format for in-text citations, and include a Works Cited page for any sources you cite. Print a hard copy to take to your conference.

Write a rough draft of a paper in which you argue that a current situation or policy is unfair, ineffective, or otherwise "wrong" and should be changed.

Regimental PT is a waste of time and can be unproductive.

Regimental P.T. should not be required for cadets exhibiting a high level of physical proficiency.

Regimental seems like a great way to improve the overall physical fitness of cadets, but it just does not work, and even can have a negative effect on the well-being of the corps. Regimental PT should therefore be removed in the years following.

The rule that a cadet may only have a 24-hour supply of food is unfair because it increases the cost of living, encourages an environment of “cutting corners”, and it lacks flexibility.

I do not personally agree with the prisoner exchange in this particular case.

The most unbearable thing that The Citadel has done this year so far is punishing the victims of hazing.

Essentially, I am arguing not that upperclassman should make it easy for knobs, but that we should monitor effects far more closely.

In the practice of medical marijuana doctors suggest that patients ingest the THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol), one of the main isomers in marijuana which gives the “high” feeling, as a form of medicine and treatment. The marijuana plant has been used for medical use for centuries, with evidence coming from as early as ancient Egypt and ancient Greece, and even in the 19th century, it was a common pain reliever. Since marijuana has become illegal in most areas of the world, there is a debate whether its medical potentials outweigh the risks. Currently it’s used as one form of treatment for cancer and AIDS patients as well as for people with glaucoma; the drug also may be good for people who suffer from PMS, insomnia, Tourette’s syndrome and fibromyalgia. Research is still currently in the works about how marijuana may benefit or possibly harm those with other diseases too.

Write a rough draft of a paper in which you argue that a current situation or policy is unfair, ineffective, or otherwise "wrong" and should be changed.

In today’s news you’ll hear a lot about gun control problems and what the government is doing to “protect” the citizens of the United States. The truth is that no matter what the government is never going to be able to stop the sale and trade of illegal firearms. As the great country we are the United States was founded on the rights of freedom and the ability to protect yourself and everything you love. As the government tries to put a hold on these rights it does nothing more than make people more protective of these very rights. For example, by taking away, or putting very strict regulations on the sale and trade of firearms the government is only making its citizens more protective and unwilling to give up the right to bear arms.

Write a rough draft of a paper in which you argue that a current situation or policy is unfair, ineffective, or otherwise "wrong" and should be changed.

The Citadel has a variety of food to eat, everything from eggs to meat. The Mess Hall feeds 2000 students eating all at once, and is made quick and easy. Resulting in poor food for the cadets to eat, bad nutrition, and not enough calories to replenish what we burn. This causes cadets to lose weight, and become very tired throughout the day. There are many ways in which this could change. First being to add salad bars with more fruits and vegetables for the cadets to eat. Second is to not have food that is full of greasy substances, including the meat and sides. Third is to incorporate more meals for the cadets to eat. This would improve the nutrition that the cadets need. Citadel cadets do not get enough nutrition from the Mess Hall to full fill the body’s needs.

to meat. The Mess Hall feeds 2000 students at once, a practice which makes meal times quick and easy. Unfortunately, this practice comes at a price.

Hmm – Is “lack of nutrition” really caused by the speed of service, or could it be the result of something else completely? (That is, if we fixed some other problem, could good food be served quickly?)

Sometimes, you discover that you simply need to find a different thesis.

Hook the potential reader’s interest.

Finish with your thesis statement. (Make sure it’s in line with the assignment.)

a;ldfkj ;aldfj ;lafjd ;ljdf ;ljkf ;alfjd pqeoirj ;wqorief ;lkdfjs ;poj fpoj fd;j fsad ;ij fsd;ioj ij fd;oij fd;ioj fsd;oij fd; lkh ioh wer8iuvdjnvajiosdhf piofj ;o ifj ;kfjd ;pijuf ioh lihf ;ih ;fah ;askj ;oih fa;oihj ;iodfh ;; laksfh;io iofh0iowe tr;kfne ;lhafdpio fe;io h;iaofh io ;ofh ;oh uygyuf es54ysrutyuilh rdtydtyf uilhuilh;io0[I -0[i-0 7if7yiuf ;ioj;ioj r5r56re8i iouioju lh kjh f56r67u ;oujiojuio trsd5rys l.kh utde u65d lioh jyd bfead khjgb ‘io g htrs grea mhgvc lkjn ;lhij kuyf htrs uytf oj ‘I p897y yukf trhse ;uhj ‘oj ;iou 67itr 5we tyuf ;ihj p8ou ure trd uih’pki 09i 78o5t 5e luih pojk ;o rudf uihj ;ok ‘pou uit j67rfyuk ih’[p op9u 67tr67i rt oi lkjh kh liuy iugt kig [ o-09 097 78t8ju’[p o[pi utuioh ‘pki]-[ ui87t78 tp8oij’p pi-0[oipou [ty o87to tyo

Provide context or background to set up your thesis, to show why it matters.

Use the remaining class time to begin REVISING your draft:

Start with the big issues, then work down to the small issues.

If you have questions, consult with me or with a classmate.

The FINAL DRAFT is due, in hard copy, at your conference.