CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost,...

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CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost, disconnected and underappreciated?

Transcript of CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost,...

CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL

• Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost, disconnected and underappreciated?

To whom should I listen?

• Do you find yourself driven insane by the inane preachings of pompous talking heads disguised in the garb of religious authority?

Where should I sit?

• Do you find yourself constantly wishing those hard-backed pews would magically transform themselves into easy chairs?

Who can help me now?

• You want it all: – Comfort in your

religious space

– Figures of spiritual authority who talk with you and not at you

– A sense of shared community with like-minded individuals…

Church of the Gerbil

The Church of the Gerbil Can Help You!

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People in Search of Salvation

People Saved by theChurch of the GerbilMuslims & Jews

Assorted ChristianDenominations

What we offer you…

• Low-impact religion in a multicultural environment– When you worship with the

Gerbil you’ll never have to feel out of place!

• Limited interaction with figures of religious authority – You’ll never feel morally

inferior or proselytized to again!

What we offer you…

• The ability to create and constantly redefine your own religious traditions and moral norms– Celebrate any and every

holiday you want!

• Look and feel good both inside and out– Our self-affirming religious

services make you proud to be you!

How can you become a part of Cog?

• Tired of being a cog in the wheel of organized religious tradition? Come to COG!

• Join us now at the Church of the Gerbil and see for yourself!

• Just call 1-888-GER-BILL to listen to our Automated Introduction to Gerbility

• You’ll be glad you called!

I should call COG

right away!

Come visit me on the web…

• www.corg.org• If you are searching

for a connection to the underworld, feel free to visit our sister community Church of the Hamster: www.greymatter.org/satanichamsterdance/

Testimonials from the friends of cog…

• “Joining COG changed my life. It was something akin to taking a spiritual colonic!”– Richard Gere,

Thespian