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CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost,...
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Transcript of CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost,...
CHURCH OF THE MIGHTY GERBIL
• Have you ever found yourself in a place of worship feeling lost, disconnected and underappreciated?
To whom should I listen?
• Do you find yourself driven insane by the inane preachings of pompous talking heads disguised in the garb of religious authority?
Where should I sit?
• Do you find yourself constantly wishing those hard-backed pews would magically transform themselves into easy chairs?
Who can help me now?
• You want it all: – Comfort in your
religious space
– Figures of spiritual authority who talk with you and not at you
– A sense of shared community with like-minded individuals…
Church of the Gerbil
The Church of the Gerbil Can Help You!
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People in Search of Salvation
People Saved by theChurch of the GerbilMuslims & Jews
Assorted ChristianDenominations
What we offer you…
• Low-impact religion in a multicultural environment– When you worship with the
Gerbil you’ll never have to feel out of place!
• Limited interaction with figures of religious authority – You’ll never feel morally
inferior or proselytized to again!
What we offer you…
• The ability to create and constantly redefine your own religious traditions and moral norms– Celebrate any and every
holiday you want!
• Look and feel good both inside and out– Our self-affirming religious
services make you proud to be you!
How can you become a part of Cog?
• Tired of being a cog in the wheel of organized religious tradition? Come to COG!
• Join us now at the Church of the Gerbil and see for yourself!
• Just call 1-888-GER-BILL to listen to our Automated Introduction to Gerbility
• You’ll be glad you called!
I should call COG
right away!
Come visit me on the web…
• www.corg.org• If you are searching
for a connection to the underworld, feel free to visit our sister community Church of the Hamster: www.greymatter.org/satanichamsterdance/