Chip Centre Geelong · heal your own life and if you choose, share it with those you care about. So...
Transcript of Chip Centre Geelong · heal your own life and if you choose, share it with those you care about. So...
To Develop Children of High Intellectual Potential
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Centre Geelong
CHIP Chat Geelong
Vol: 23 No: 4 December 2017
2017 has been a busy year and productive
for both the CHIP Centre and the CHIP
Family Support Group. Perhaps the new
website and fb page have been the
highlights of the year, Thank you to Dave
Birley, Kate, Meg and indeed everyone who
has been integral in this development.
Thank you again to the outgoing members
of the CFSG and welcome to the new
members.
Thank you to everyone involved in planning
and facilitating workshops and forums this
year.
The CHIP Centre has been involved with
Cohort Assessment and Professional
Development in several schools this year as
well as identification and counselling of
individual CHIP.
On the CFSG Inc front sixteen CHIP had a
wonderful day at the Barwon Heads Airport
n October 22nd learning about planes and
the physics of flight. Zara and Scott from
Sci-Fly engaged the children with their
knowledge. The children made planes using
the flight information that they had been
discussing to have their models "loop the
loop" and complete other aerobatics. Thank
you Zara, Scott and Jeff from BHA who took
the children on a tour of the hangars where
they learned how those planes were made.
In this CHIP Chat:
Sci Fly Report
Keys to Preventing or Overcoming
Holiday Overwhelm
CHIP Forum Report
End of year picnic report
Tools to Help Your Creative, Sensitive or Gifted Child Build Confidence
February Meet and Greet flyer on page 14.
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If you are a facebook user please like the
CHIP Centre Page (if you do!)
The end of year picnic on Sunday 12th
November at Queen‘s Park was held on a
perfect day. After a delicious picnic lunch
the children played games that promoted
team work, problem solving and physical
challenges with Tim Dean from Tennis
Australia and the parents were able to have
some good heart to heart discussions.
Keys to Preventing or Overcoming Holiday Overwhelm Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW
Therapist for Sensitive and Gifted. Psychotherapist, Consultant, Speaker, Trainer, Internationally Published Author.
The holidays are coming. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza are racing towards us. Just saying this starts a sense of overwhelm to creep into me. How about you?
Let‘s explore together how to prevent – or overcome – holiday overwhelm.
When we were children, the wonder and magic of the holidays filled us with eager anticipation. As adults, it‘s quite another story. There‘s gifts to make or buy, homes to decorate, inside and outside; relationships to consider-both interconnecting family relationships and friendships; food to prepare, including considerations of who‘s allergic to what, and who‘s on which diet this year; budgets to balance; events to attend; the list goes on and on.
And if you‘re a creative, highly sensitive and/or gifted adult, these traits add additional layers of complexity, quickly mounting into ―holiday overwhelm‖. Your expectations for yourself and for others are likely to be much higher than are others. If you‘re honest with yourself, might it take a dozen people to fulfill them all? OK, maybe just three or four?
No? Then never mind….you may not find this blog post relevant. But if you identify with any of this, I invite you to join me while we explore some of the horror and the
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happiness of the holidays together. For we often must face the potential horror in order to find the happiness. There is a soulful ‗logic‘ to Halloween preceding these other holidays. Every fairy tale and folk tale, every well spun yarn, every novel or movie worth our time and attention sets out this same template- you must enter the deep dark woods (of danger and despair), fight the dragon(s)—and win!— in order to find the buried treasure. Then you must dig it up and return through those same dangerous woods to bring this treasure back to your home and community so you can use it to heal your own life and if you choose, share it with those you care about.
No wonder you may be tempted to give up before you start. It can seem daunting to even read about it, let alone deal with it. But the stakes are high. Underneath the glitz and glam of the holidays, you know that the calendar year is winding to a close and the solstice is approaching. Consciously or unconsciously, you may be assessing yourself: How do you measure up to the goals and expectations that you set out for yourself in the beginning of the year? How do you compare with your neighbors, siblings, cousins, peers? Where are you in your overall Life Plan compared to where you planned to be by now? Has your year and your life turned out anything like you hoped and planned? What do you make of it if it hasn‘t? Do you feel there is handwriting on the wall, and you are found wanting…..by God, by Life, by the Universe? And especially by your own outrageous, unrealistic expectations? What is often at stake is your internal approval of yourself, or lack of it. But approval is what you-and all of us- may seek and settle for as the false substitute when self-acceptance isn‘t present.
This insecurity can be some of the hidden fuel behind the implosions and explosions that often occur around the holidays.
When you aren‘t OK as a person; when it‘s not acceptable to be who you are, with the vulnerabilities and challenges you have, then the gifts you have aren‘t very accessible and don‘t count for much. When it‘s not Ok to be YOU, then it‘s also not OK to not BE PERFECT, AKA TO DO THE HOLIDAYS PERFECTLY. When you‘re not enough, then you have to try to make up for it by (over) doing the holidays.
So what? We know that Self-Acceptance and Self-Love don‘t come overnight. Well, consider this: IF you were OK just as you are, would it also be OK for you to have a dirty carpet, unpolished silver, not as much money to spend on gifts, and not enough time and ____________ (you fill in the blank) to know what the perfect gifts would be, and to make or find and buy them? Would it also be ok for you to have physical and financial and emotional limits….and to honor them? Might you be freed from your obsessing about every detail and from comparing yourself to your Impossible Inner Standards? Might it be OK to be human? Might it also be possible to recognize the voice of the Ego, trying to make up for inner lack by pushing for more and more outer accomplishment? Maybe you then begin to interact with that inner voice, and also turn down the volume on its channel.
What if you knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that no matter what happens, you are OK?
If you knew in your bones that you have the right to occupy the space you do, you have a right to breathe the air you breathe and eat the food you eat, and have a legitimate place on this planet, would it have an impact
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on your life? Might you also be able to identify what are your deep inner needs leading to your true priorities and goals…..for the upcoming holidays, and also the year to come?
What if you could accept this holiday season as an opportunity to practice self-acceptance and self-love?
―No‖, you say. ―I would be selfish to do such an outlandish thing as this.‖ No? Then why does every major religion teach in one way or another that LOVE starts at home- with yourself. We misunderstand and misinterpret what is written in the sacred texts. The truth is that your ability to love others is limited by your ability to love yourself. In this case, it is necessary, imperative even, to face your faults, mistakes, inadequacies and vulnerabilities and to love accept yourself WITH all of this baggage. By refusing to do this, you voluntarily limit your ability to love others. And so do I. Ouch.
Does this seem impossible? So does going into the deep dark woods, facing the dangers and despair there and fighting the dragons. No wonder it is expressed this way.
This is a universal, archetypal challenge that all humans face, and have faced since the beginning of time. The sacred stories that accompany this time of year each speak to these deep essential needs and each address them a little differently. In spite of their differences, maybe the underlying commonality is that we each face these same inner dragons and we can‘t do it alone.
Instinctively we seem to seek the company of others…. so we know that we are not alone in our foray into the forest to face and fight our inner dragons, search for and find
our deeply buried inner treasure, and carefully carry it back home through those same deep dark woods so we can use it for our own healing and that of those we love and know.
Maybe one thing that‘s important in this holiday time is for us to take the time to acknowledge our own inner journey in this last year, with its tragedies and triumphs, and to share it with each other. Maybe one thing we need is to tell stories, sing songs and dance dances of despair and triumph with others─face to face, on the phone, and online.
I will start the sharing here, for I, too have had my share of ups and downs, challenges and victories in this last year.
Here goes: I‘ll start with my ―Gripes‖. Growing my counseling practice from part-time to full-time is slower than I would like. Every task seems to have umpteen hidden aspects that don‘t show up until after the project is started. So it takes longer than I anticipate, and often other things are already scheduled to begin before I finish the previous one. The result? I have many started but fewer finished projects, such as this new website; articles intended for this blog and elsewhere, and books (yes, more than one), quilts and other fabric art pieces;
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and workshops/Playshops that never got off the ground. I have launched a webinar series, but did it too ambitiously (weekly), a pace I cannot sustain, so am having to pull back and readjust in order to continue with the webinars. Life has its challenges, too–just last week, I had a minor auto accident which also takes time and energy to deal with, and though minor, has both a financial and physical impact on me. Of course, there‘s more of an impact on my sensitive body than it might on someone else who has a less sensitive physiology than I do. Each time I experience a challenge or a setback, it can also trigger my complexes, such as ―You should have known better‖ and ―How stupid is that!‖ and well, you get the idea.
The discipline of identifying and expressing both our Gripes and our Gratitude is quite beneficial
I found myself reading my Sharing paragraphs, and especially the Gratitude paragraph over and over after I wrote it. Indeed, that is part of why many cultures set aside one day a year to express gratitude. Maybe True, Deep Self-Acceptance is Key in preventing holiday overwhelm. Maybe acknowledging and expressing both our setbacks along with our victories can go a long ways toward helping us accept our selves- our whole selves.
CHIP Forum Report
Extending the Capabilities of Gifted Students
We welcomed Educational Consultant
Karen Green who spoke at the CHIP Forum
was held at Kardinia International College
on the 30th November 2017. Karen
extending gifted students within the
Victorian Curriculum.
Meg Branson has written a comprehensive report of the evening. Columbus Group definition:
Advanced cognitive abilities and
heightened intensity combine to create
inner experiences and awareness that
are qualitatively different from the norm.
This asynchrony increases with higher
intellectual capacity
The uniqueness of the gifted renders
them particularly vulnerable and requires
modifications in parenting, teaching and
counselling in order for them to develop
optimally (The Columbus Group, 1991)
Definition came from a group of women
who became frustrated with the
definitions of giftedness always revolved
around achievement – called Columbus
Group as they met in Columbus
Further explanation ‗Off the Charts‘ chap
2 – Asynchrony and the Gifted Child
2013
Social & emotional needs - At risk if we
don‘t nurture them and support them
Dabrowski based his theory of emotional
development (The Theory of Positive
Disintegration) on the study of sensitive,
nonaggressive, highly intelligent and
creative individuals
Overexcitabilities (OE) – believed
connected strongly to giftedness
o Psychomotor:
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Primary sign of this intensity is a
surplus of energy. Children with a
dominant psychomotor OE are often
misdiagnosed with ADHD since
characteristics are similar
o Sensual :
Primary sign is a heightened
awareness of all 5 senses: sight,
smell, taste, touch and hearing.
Children with a dominant OE can
get sick from the smell of certain
foods or as toddlers will hate to walk
on grass or sand in their bare feet
(fluoro light humming…absorbing
world in different way)
o Intellectual:
This intensity is the one most
recognised in gifted children.
Characteristics by activities of the
mind, thought & thinking about
thinking. Children who lead with this
intensity seem to be thinking all the
time and want answers to deep
thoughts. Sometimes their needs for
answers will get them into trouble in
school when they‘re questioning of
the teacher can look like
disrespectful challenging
o Imaginational:
The primary sign of this intensity is
the free play of the imagination.
Their vivid imaginations can cause
them to visualise the worst
possibility in any situation. It can
keep them from taking chances or
getting involved in new situations.
Often space cadets
o Emotional:
The primary sign of this intensity is
exceptional emotional sensitivity.
Children with a strong emotional OE
are sometimes mistakenly believed
to have Bipolar disorder or other
emotional problems and disorders.
They are often the children about
whom people will say ―He‘s too
sensitive for his own good.‖
Moral sensitivity of gifted children
and the evolution of Society – Linda
Silverman
o Central feature of the gifted
experience is their moral sensitivity
which is essential to the welfare of
the entire society
o Gifted children reason more
like older children than their
agemates and set standards for
themselves more appropriate for
older children (Robinson & Noble,
1991)
o Asynchrony, intensity and
moral sensitivity are inherent in the
experience of giftedness, whether
or not a child demonstrates specific
talents in a given domain
Victorian Curriculum:
It is expected that the skills and
knowledge defined in the capabilities will
be developed, practised, deployed and
demonstrated by students in and
through their learning across the
curriculum
Learning areas and capabilities
4 capabilities: (21st Century skills)
o Critical and creative thinking
o Ethical
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o Intercultural
o Personal and social
Weave these capabilities in through the
learning areas as suitable
Why these capabilities?
Gifted students can benefit enormously from
having a deep understanding of:
What makes them tick/what pushes their
buttons
How they can manage/channel their
emotions
Ways to harness their intensities and
use the productively
How they can collaborate effectively with
others who are different to them
Ways to provide appropriate effective
and timely feedback
What they can learn about people
through observation and active listening
(wait time/not always hearing their own
voice/don‘t have prepared in your head
the answer)
Their benefits of hearing the viewpoints
of others (especially those whose
viewpoints differ from their own)
The importance of forming their own
code of ethics that are justifiable and
well intentioned
What happens to them both internally
and externally, when other behave in
ways that contradict or dismiss rules
How their ideas and opinions, when
delivered with clarity and integrity can
change the minds of others in a positive
way
The best ways to explore and engage
with topics that are contentious that don‘t
have a clearly defined solution
Ways to present a fair and rational
argument
How to deal with bad things happening
to good people
How they can influence and guide others
Aims of the personal and social
capability:
Aims to develop knowledge, understandings
and skills to enable students to;
Recognise, understand and evaluate the
expression of emotions
Demonstrate an awareness of their
personal qualities and the factors that
contribute to resilience
Develop empathy for and understanding
of others and recognise the importance
of supporting diversity for a cohesive
community
Understand how relationships are
developed and use interpersonal skills to
establish and maintain respectful
relationships
Work effectively in teams and develop
strategies to manage challenging
situations
Advancing the personal & social
capabilities of gifted students:
Provide a checklist for students
Facilitate discussion about the
importance of self and social awareness
Explicitly teach study skills and time
management (don‘t assume that gifted
students know about theses)
Provide biographies of people who
excelled due to their people skills and
capacity to empathise and communicate
clearly - bibliotherapy
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o ―Some of my best friends are
books‖
Introduce an ―emotional barometer‖
whereby students can identify their own
emotional state as well as develop an
awareness of how others are feeling
Introduce reflective journals (as learners)
Discuss the difference between
sympathy (Poor you) and empathy (I‘m
in your shoes, I can feel that) We want
empathy.
Where appropriate introduce the OE to
students and their parents
Explicitly teach social skills –
Social skills cards – Get Mappen
Aims of the ethical capability:
Aims to develop knowledge, understandings
and skills to enable students to:
Analyse and evaluate ethical issues,
recognising areas of contestability
Identify the bases of ethical principles
and ethical reasoning
Engage with the challenges of managing
ethical decision making and action for
individuals and groups
Cultivate open-mindedness and
reasonableness
Advancing the ethical capabilities of
gifted students:
Be aware of covert bullying or put
downs (body language, sneers) listen
carefully to the student‘s concerns
Create a safe classroom climate where
students understand and agree to a set
of class rules
Forewarn students about sensitive
issues that will be raised
Select students who want to go further
into ethical issues – may not necessarily
interest or be relevant for all students
Teach debating skills explicitly and then
provide opportunities to debate about
ethical issues
Provide opportunities for students to
complete individual projects where they
can investigate an issue about which
they are passionate
Create opportunities for students to
present ethical issues to real life
audiences to present ethical issues – eg)
school leadership/councils, local council,
state/federal politician, businesses It isn‘t
something they do just to earn a score, it
has real meaning
Consider ethics in various professional
eg) Hippocratic Oath, Legal professional
rules, mandatory reporting
Explain the purpose of ―thought
experiments‖ opening a can of worms in
order to understand personal belief
system of those and others
Where appropriate, and when students
are emotionally ready, debate real life
ethical dilemma as such as ―Dying with
Dignity‖
PoLT:
New version coming out…including
―student voice‖
Research shows by giving students a
voice and a choice – guiding them
towards something, but giving them
agency and making it authentic
Tools to Help Your Creative,
Sensitive or Gifted Child
Build Confidence
To Develop Children of High Intellectual Potential
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Sharon Barnes (SENG) July 6, 2017
Robert and Sue, parents of 9 year old
Ethan and 6 year old Olivia (not their real
names) recently asked me how to help their
creative, sensitive, gifted children build
confidence and experience less fear and
avoidance in new or difficult situations. As
many creative, highly sensitive or gifted
children do, they would often pull back from
new or challenging situations. He or she
would claim to be shy, say she has a
headache, or he has a stomach ache or
some other physical symptom in order to
get out of doing whatever it was that they
didn‘t want to do. As I talked with Robert
and Sue, I remembered helping other
families face similar situations. I also
recalled facing similar challenges with my
children and grandchildren … and yes, also
with myself. For I remember being taken to
see a doctor and then a dentist at age 6 for
frequent stomach aches. Now as I look back
on this time of my life, there was significant
family stress during this time, and I‘m sure
that had much more to do with my ―frequent
stomach aches‖ than did how my teeth
aligned or how much or how I chewed my
food.
I also found myself thinking about a
recent winter afternoon when I took care
of my then 4 and 6 year old
grandchildren. Selfishly, I took them to a
playground at a nearby park. Why
―selfishly‖? I wanted to encourage them to
be physically active there to reduce their
mischievous energy later. The oldest is a
girl, and as are many oldest children, she is
an adventurer. She led the way through the
partly grassy, partly snowy parkland. It
wasn‘t long before her 4 year old brother
was in tears. He slipped and fell just once
on the icy snow piles, and then pulled back
and became afraid of falling on them.
His intensity kicked in, and he cried and
begged me to hold his hand and help him
cross these small snow piles. In my
empathy, I did this a time or two, but I soon
became impatient with what now felt like an
unnecessary game to me. I got a hunch and
decided to check it out. I tested the snow
hills and determined that, as I thought, they
were not totally icy. There was a thin crust
of ice on top while underneath was softer,
somewhat squishy snow. So I became the
Mean Grandma and refused to lead him by
the hand anymore.
Instead, I encouraged him to stomp hard,
REALLY HARD on the snow hills, hard
enough to break through that top icy crust.
He was certain that he could not do it and
used his tears to communicate his
helplessness and his certainty that this was
too dangerous for him. But Mean Grandma
prevailed. Notwithstanding his tears loudly
in progress, I took him one more time by the
hand, walked him up to the snow pile,
instructed (strongly urged) him to stomp as
hard as he could.
I kept moving, stomping as I went, to
show him how to do it. He had a choice: he
either had to let go of my hand or walk on
the snow pile. He chose to hang on, and
soon began stomping, timidly at first, and
harder each time as I gave encouragement
but mostly as his efforts quickly paid off. His
feet broke through the top layer of ice and
voila! He didn‘t slip or slide any more. It
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wasn‘t long before he left me behind and
then called to me, asking me to watch him
stomp up and down these snow piles, acting
like he had been doing this all along, and
like it was all his idea. Yes, it was his idea,
after all. He had to own it as his idea in
order to accomplish it.
How had I learned this? I too had been a
shy, often hesitant child, but to my chagrin
at the time, neither of my parents would let
me get away with it. I had been forced to
move forward, to move through my fears
over and over again. They had not literally
or physically forced me, but my feet had
been held to the fire, so to speak, over and
over again.
As you may recall, we get this reference
of holding feet to the fire from the myth
of the Greek goddess Demeter.
Demeter was the goddess whose daughter
Persephone was abducted by Hades and
disappeared. Demeter went into mourning
for the loss of her daughter. At first she
searched for her everywhere, until someone
let her know that her daughter had been
taken into the Underworld. She went
around to one after another of the Greek
gods, asking for their help to get her
daughter back. When that wasn‘t
successful, she went into exile, disguised
herself as a maid and went to work doing
child care. Metaneira, the mother of the boy
Demeter was caring for, suspected
something odd was going on, so she snuck
in one night and caught Demeter holding
her son Demophoon in the fire, with his feet
on the coals. Metaneira instantly snatched
him away and accused Demeter of trying to
kill him. Then Demeter revealed who she
was and what she had been doing- holding
his feet to the fire to make him immortal. By
holding his feet to the fire long enough, he
would no longer be mortal, but become one
of the gods. This story is not to be taken
literally, but rather metaphorically. I am NOT
recommending that we hurt our children in
this or in any other way.
We mortals are often like Metaneira in
her ignorance. We don‘t understand the
purpose of facing challenges, of ―holding a
little one‘s feet to the fire‖. And we haven‘t
learned how to do it so it doesn‘t harm
them. Instead, we often protect our children
from all challenges or we immerse them in
it. This story of Demeter holding
Demophoon‘s feet to the fire is an important
metaphor and an illustration of the value of
exposure to difficulty and challenge at a
young age. Please do not misunderstand
me here. I do not to condone or recommend
child abuse, neglect or anything of the kind.
Ever.
Instead, the moral of the story is that if
you want your child to be a Super
Hero, expose them to fiery challenges
over and over again. That‘s how they
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can develop Super Hero tolerance for
difficulty and challenge which then
builds in them Super Hero skills,
strength and courage.
Back to my original story – I was able to
recognize hesitancy based in fear, rooted in
lack of knowledge and lack of skill in my
grandson mostly because of how my
parents had not allowed me to shrink away
from difficulty and challenge when I was
little. Of course at the time, I would not have
expressed appreciation for it. But because
of this, by the time I became a mother, I
knew experientially how important it was to
develop the skills to do the thing I was afraid
of and thereby move through the fear.
And Life, with its odd sense of humor, has
given me lots of practice with this, in my
own life, and later with my children. I have
joked that if I had allowed it, my youngest
son would still have been eating baby food
when he was a teenager. He didn‘t like
many foods, and in his sensitivity and
intensity was hesitant about new things in
many ways. He also hated to read. He
swore he could not do it. He despised word
problems in both math and language arts.
He was certain he couldn‘t do them and
took pains to make sure I knew how he felt.
He wanted anything difficult to be done for
him.
Not that my parents were perfect or that I
have been a perfect parent. They made
plenty of other mistakes, and so have I.
Thanks to their willingness to hold my feet
to the fire – their commitment to help me
develop my skills and abilities even when I
objected vociferously, I knew better than to
give in to my son when he wanted to shrink
back in fear and inadequacy. And I had a
model to follow. My son was angry, even
livid with me for not doing his homework for
him. Instead, I would ask him question after
question. My questions were designed to
lead him to what he needed to think about
or understand in order to solve his
homework problems. Yes, it would have
been easier to tell him the answer, but I
couldn‘t live with myself if I had done it. So
we spent many an evening in conflict over
this. And every so often through the years,
the memory of these homework battle would
come back to haunt me, and I would wonder
if I had done wrong by him in being a Mean
Mom.
It wasn‘t until a couple of years ago, now
that he‘s thirty-something, and we were
sitting on his patio over dinner, that he
brought this up to me. My heart rose into my
throat, in anticipation of learning of One
More Thing I had done that had not turned
out well. He was reminiscing about his
elementary school years. To my surprise,
he told me that now when he‘s facing tough
problems at work, often he finds himself
asking himself the same kinds of questions
that I used to ask him—back when he was
so angry with me and we had the battles
over homework. He thanked me and
identified that this was how and when he
learned problem solving skills. I sat there
with my mouth falling open. And my heart
was now in my throat for a totally different
reason than it had gone there. All the guilt I
tortured myself with so many times during
these 20-some intervening years, about the
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homework battles for being such a ―Mean
Mom‖ was totally unnecessary!
So when you‘re in the thick of a Homework
Battle or some other situation in which your
child pulls back and insists that they ―can‘t
do it‖, encourage yourself. Encourage them.
It may be a very long time before you get
any positive feedback (if you‘re lucky
enough to get it at all). But it is crucial that
you hold your children’s feet to the
(metaphorical) fire. It‘s never too late to
start this, whether your children are 2 or 22.
It‘s critical—AND POSSIBLE— to help them
overcome their fears and learn the life skills
they need to become the confident creative,
sensitive and/or gifted adults that they can
be. That‘s what I shared with Robert and
Sue, and what I share with you here:
7 Useful Tools to help you Hold Their Feet
to the Fire to Build Their Skill and
Confidence:
1. Get real with yourself: Identify if this
is a skill that is within their true ability.
Can this child stomp through the thin
icy crust to a better substance
underneath? Can this child truly
read? If you know in your heart of
hearts that they really CAN do this,
but just lack confidence, then that is
the time to hold their feel to the fire. If
they truly cannot do this, if this is too
high a mountain for their skill or
strength level, then back down and
develop lower level skills first.
2. Use your own emotion to guide you:
When you child‘s behavior brings up
feelings of helplessness within you,
then that is a clue that he or she is
feeling helpless in the face of this
task or situation. That means that
what they need is encouragement
from you, and they need you to hold
their feet to the fire.
3. Practice the new skill with them,
modeling for them how to do it. If it‘s
a physical skill, show them how you
do it.
4. Have them show you how they do it,
or how their teacher or coach has
taught them to do it. Then find ways
to practice and demonstrate it back
and forth, including others if it helps
and if they‘re available.
5. Don‘t let yourself be pulled in to
feeling sorry for them and doing
things for them that they have the
capability to do. Remember that your
empathy for their sense of
helplessness is a clue that they need
encouragement to do it themselves,
rather than to have it done for them.
They will become confident and
―strong on the inside‖ by doing things
that are difficult, not by pulling back
from them.
6. Celebrate their success, even when
it‘s only a little or a partial one.
Especially if it is a little one or a
partial one. Every little or partial
success is also an opportunity to chip
away at the Perfectionism Monster
that lurks just around the corner. Do
a Happy Dance. Have a Family Hug.
Give High Five, Low Fives, you get
the picture.
7. Let them choose or even make
something to tangibly remind them of
this success the next time they face a
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13
similarly daunting challenge. It can
be something as simple as a rock
from the back yard, a ―Winner‘s
Award‖ ribbon pulled from Mom‘s
sewing supplies or made out of
construction paper, or whatever
works in your situation.
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14
Thank you to Kardinia International
College, Tate St, Geelong Regional
Library and Highton Primary School for
supporting our workshops and forums
again this year. Thank you to the
wonderful CHIP Family Support Group
who volunteers to organise and facilitate
the great workshops.
To all our CHIP families have a
wonderful and safe Christmas
and New Year.
Sandra Lea-Wood PhD
Manager
CHIP Centre Geelong 0407320043
www.chipcentregeelong.com.
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15