Child Behavior & Guidance Part 4: Positive Guidance & Discipline Oklahoma Cooperative Extension...
-
Upload
joleen-lucas -
Category
Documents
-
view
214 -
download
0
Transcript of Child Behavior & Guidance Part 4: Positive Guidance & Discipline Oklahoma Cooperative Extension...
Child Behavior & Guidance Part 4: Positive Guidance & Discipline
Oklahoma Cooperative Extension ServiceCore In-Service
November 24, 20099:30-11:00 a.m.
Debbie Richardson, Ph.D.Parenting Assistant Extension SpecialistHuman Development & Family Science
Oklahoma State University
In-Service Objective
Extension Educators will be able to identify positive guidance and discipline
strategies and tools for use with toddlers through
school-age/pre-teen children
2
3
Tomorrow’s Gifts
What are goals, hopes, desires for the child?
What behaviors and skills do you want them to develop?
What can you do to help accomplish these goals?
4
What is Socialization & Guidance?
Sharing rules for living through example, demonstration, explanation, and focusing attention
Shapes behaviors with love, respect
Reinforce desired behavior
Is like gardening…
5
Positive Discipline Teaches appropriate behavior and responsibility
Utilizes learning opportunities
Supports development of self-control
Shows how to get along with others, caring
Encourages independence, self-direction
Enhances self-worth, sense of competence
Protects children from harm
Sets reasonable, consistent limits while still allowing some choice among acceptable alternatives
6
Positive Guidance & Discipline
Is ongoing - long-term focus
Based on age and stage of development
Based on appropriate expectations
for each child
7
Effective Discipline
NurturingChildren learn best when loved & supported
GuidingTeaching how to act, manage feelings, learn responsibility, solve problems
CorrectingResponses to misbehavior that help learn how to behave better in the future
8
Criteria for Effective Discipline
1. Does it help children feel a sense of connection?
2. Is it respectful and encouraging?
3. Is it effective long-term?
4. Does it teach important life skills?
Nelson & Erwin (2002)
Positive Discipline
Being a good example by staying calm and in control of feelings
Reduce need to say “no” with reasonable planning & childproofing
Learn what behavior is realistic for child’s stage of development
Give child words to tell how they feel and how to work out conflicts
State kindly but firmly a few reasonable rules & what will happen if rules are broken
Patiently repeat rules realizing young children need time to learn
Enforce consequences when child breaks a rule that he/she understands
Tailor guidance to child’s unique needs, temperament
9
10
Negative Discipline May temporarily stop misbehavior, but seldom helps a
child learn why behavior was wrong and does not teach expected good behavior
May model and reinforce undesired behaviors (e.g., screaming, belittling, threatening, hitting, being secretive, manipulation)
May damage trust and child’s view of self
May build feelings of powerlessness, fear, hopelessness, anger & resentment
Inhibits development of self-discipline
May cause physical injuries and harm brain development
Negative Discipline Use shame or hurt to tell
child she/he has done something wrong
Control child rather than child using internal control
Sarcastic or belittling looks and remarks; tease
Unrealistic expectations of child’s behavior
Name calling
Threats of abandonment
Depriving child of basic needs (food, water, sleep)
Shaking child when frustrated or angry
Long time outs away from other people
Slapping or spanking parts of the child’s body
Believing and acting as if child is “out to get you”
11
12
Results of PunishmentChildren subconsciously may respond in oneor more ways…
1. Resentment – This is unfair…
2. Rebellion – You can’t make me…
3. Revenge – I’ll hurt you back…
4. Retreat – I’m a bad person
5. Sneakiness – I won’t get caught next time
Nelson & Erwin (2002)
13
Types of Discipline
Abusive-Harsh-Positive-Permissive-Neglectful
extreme……….moderate…………extreme
14
Positive Parenting II: A Video-Based Parent Education Curriculum (University of Minnesota Extension Service, 1997).
15
Positive Parenting II: A Video-Based Parent Education Curriculum (University of Minnesota Extension Service, 1997).
16
Reframe Common Attitudes About Discipline
Get rid of conflict
Same problems over & over
Discipline interrupts
Conflict is inevitable.Use it to teach
What skills are missing?
Discipline/guidance is a key part of care
Guidance & Discipline Tool Kit
Relate to child’s development
Be detached
Set limits
Clear directions & choices
Rules - few but simple
Be firm & consistent
Positive attention & encouragement
Ignore misbehavior
Change setting or environment
Redirect, distract, divert attention
Time out/cool-down
Natural & logical consequences
Talk about feelings
Problem-solving17
Set Limits Specific expectations Guidelines or rules Shows concern and love Children need limits Limits that:
protect children from physical harm protect property protect children and others from
psychological harm emphasize respect for others
18
19
Setting Rules Have a few reasonable, simple rules – i.e.
safety, noise, property, interactions
Involve children in developing rules
Post rules visually (words, pictures)
Teach rules systematically
Use fun ways to reinforce rules
Reinforce rules often at first then less with time
20
Giving Directions Get children’s attention
before giving direction
Minimize # of directions
Individualize the way directions are given
Be clear, specific, concise
Give directions that are positive
Allow children opportunity to respond
When appropriate, give child choices & options for following directions
Provide positive feedback of children’s behavior
21
Using Positive Attention Look for appropriate behaviors – it’s easy to
leave children alone when all is well
Spend more time using positive language and less time giving directions or corrections
Use verbal and nonverbal forms of positive feedback and encouragement
Individualize to children’s needs and preferences
Encourage other adults to use
22
Using Positive Feedback & Encouragement – 4 Principles
Contingent on appropriate behavior
Descriptive & specific rather than general “good job”
Convey with enthusiasm
Based on effort
23
Ignoring Misbehavior Not appropriate for abusive, destructive, unsafe
behaviors.
Identify 1-2 specific behaviors to focus on
Plan carefully
Neutralize reactions to misbehaviors
Return your attention as soon as child begins to behave appropriately
Teach other children to ignore inappropriate behaviors
24
When you Ignore Most children will initially react with an
increase in challenging behavior to attract attention
Be prepared to wait out the testing period
Remember…Consistency is the key!
25
Redirection
Can be nonverbal, verbal, or physical
Should not be confrontational
Should focus on behavior you saw and provide specific feedback I saw you take that toy from Cameron. Can you give it back or should I help you?
When children are withdrawn or off task, it’s important not to ignore
Time Out
To regain self-control
Is not punishment
Suits ages 3 to 12 years - should not be used under 3
About 1 min. per year of age
More likely to work if “time in” is positive
Plan ahead
Do not overuse
26
Reverse Time Out
For adults to take a break
27
28
Consequences Helps children learn from experience & take
responsibility for their behavior
Must logically relate to the behavior
Child must see the relationship and know there is a choice
Use in a firm, kind, friendly manner
Infants and toddlers may not be able to understand or control
29
Consequences can be…
NaturalTo learn natural order of the world.If you don’t eat, you will be hungry.
Logical Arranged by adult to fit situation.
If you don’t put dirty clothes in the hamper, you won’t have clean clothes to wear.
30
Use Discipline Problems to Talk about Feelings
Young children may not understand how they or others are feeling
Try to describe the feelings you see
Children can learn the effect their behavior has on others
Tell the child exactly what he/she did that made someone else upset
31
Problem-solving & Cooperation
Children as young as 3 can begin to work out problems
Ask children to… - name the problem- offer solutions- both agree to the solution
32The Incredible Years Parent Training Program, Webster-Stratton.
33
A strong, close parent-child bond
built on trust and respect is
the foundation for discipline
that teaches self-control
34
Discipline Reminders Stay calm
Provide a short time to “cool down”
Take action as soon as possible
Be consistent
If you don’t get the results you want, think the situation through and try again.
Keep and use and sense of humor!
35
Promoting Children’s Success A change in a child’s behavior usually occurs
with a change in the adult’s behavior or practice
Build positive relationships with children, families, and co-workers
Design an environment that promotes child engagement
Focus on teaching children what TO DO – teach expectations, routines, & skills
Tips for Positive Parenting Tools The more tools parents have, the more
effective they will be
Many parents use positive tools but may need to unlearn negative ones
Positive tools offer options for teaching and solving problems
No one tool works every time, with every child, or every situation
36
More Tips… When under stress, parents often resort to
negative uses of tools
Tools used in families in which we were raised are powerful influences
Every positive tool used is a deposit in the emotional bank account – negative tools are withdrawals
Identify beliefs, hopes, and goals to accomplish with children and choose tools accordingly
37
38
Special Concerns
Spanking/corporal punishment
Abuse
Discussion & Applications
Reflections on last week’s video clips
Today’s information
Implications for parents? For child care providers?
Others?
39
View Video Clips
Peaceful Parenting (11 min.)http://www.childrensmn.org/Communities/
PeacefulParentingVideo.asp
Positive DisciplineFive Criteria (3 min.) TV Interview (8 min.)
http://www.janenelsen.com/video.html
More…. 40
Video ClipsPositive Discipline (5 min.)http://www.aplaceofourown.org/watch_video.php?
type=field&id=279&pos=0&rate=hi&player=rpTantrums (5 min.)http://www.aplaceofourown.org/watch_video.php?
type=field&id=349&pos=0&rate=hi&player=rpManaging Disruptive Behavior (5 min.)http://www.aplaceofourown.org/watch_video.php?
type=field&id=299&pos=0&rate=hi&player=rpUsing Praise and Encouragement Effectively (5 min.)http://www.aplaceofourown.org/watch_video.php?
type=field&id=507&pos=0&rate=hi&player=rp
41
Wrap-up
Wrap-Up
42
Questions & comments
In-service evaluation
Next Session: Tues. December 1 Research & Resources
References
43
Landy, S. (2002). Pathways to competence: Encouraging healthy social and emotional development in young children. Baltimore, MD: Paul H. Brookes Publishing.
Nelson, J., & Erwin, C. (2002). Positive discipline for childcare providers. New York: Crown Publishing.
Smith, C. A. (2003). Responsive discipline. http://www.k-state.edu/wwparent/courses/rd/index.htm
University of Minnesota Extension Service (1997). Positive Parenting II: A video-based parent education curriculum.
Fact sheets, article abstracts, and other resource materials provided separately
Various textbooks and other reference materials