TEACHING AGAINST ABUSE - LESSON PLAN - 3RD GRADE

Child Abuse (3rd Grade)

Review the following information with the children on day 1: • Defi ne the main categories of child abuse: emotion-

al abuse, neglect, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. Also defi ne bullying. When one child abuses anoth-er child, or when a group of children abuse another group of children, that is bullying.

• If someone does hurt you or harm you in some other way, it is not your fault.

• Explain why we learn about abuse. o To protect ourselves and, when necessary, to get

help from an adult. o To help our friends who might be dealing with

abuse or bullying. o To prevent or stop bullying behavior.

• Discipline and abuse are not the same. Discipline focuses on teaching children on what they should be doing. Not all punishment is abusive, but severe punishment can cross the line into abuse, and even mild punishment is (at best) ineffective.

• Some adults abuse children. Children need to know how to protect themselves from these adults, no matter who they are.

• There are two kinds of secrets: good and bad. If someone asks you to keep a bad secret, you need to tell someone about it so you can get help.

• What is the difference between tattling and telling? o Tattling is when a child tries to get another child

into trouble even though the other child is not hurting anyone.

o Telling is when someone has a serious problem, they are getting hurt, and they need help from an adult to deal with it.

Review the following information with the children on day 2: • Briefl y go through the material that was covered

on day 1. • The best safety rule is to pay attention to what you feel. If you think a situation does not feel right, then you should try to avoid it.

• Other safety rules include the following: o Be assertive. Tell the abuser “no” or “stop,” de-

pending on what the abuser is trying to do. o Leave as soon as possible. o Find an adult you trust and tell the adult what

happened. • Role playing can help you practice what to do when

you fi nd yourself in an abusive situation. • Having a personal safety plan can also help you be

prepared.

LESSON

• Spend 45 minutes per class, two days in a row, for this grade.

You can use the additional time in the older classes to role-play and have more in-depth conversation about the specifi cs.

To prepare, read “Background Information on Child Abuse.” You might also want to read a book with an

unfortunate title: The Manipulative Child by Ernest W. Swihart, Jr. This book teaches a technique called Stop, Pause, and Redirect. The idea is to stop the behavior, pause briefl y for about 30 seconds with no interaction, and then redirect the child to do what they ought to be doing. It is unobtrusive, it does not involve any shaming, and it works publicly and privately.

PREPARATION

TEACHING AGAINST ABUSE - LESSON PLAN - 3RD GRADE

ROLE PLAYING

What can a child do in the following situations?

SITUATION:

You are hungry. There isn’t enough food at home.

Suggestions:

• Tell a teacher. • Tell the parent of a friend.

SITUATION:

Someone yells at you frequently or hits you.

Suggestion:

Think of someone you trust. Talk to that person.

SITUATION:

Someone wants to hug you. You don’t want to hug them.

Suggestions: Offer to shake hands or give each other a high fi ve instead.

SITUATION:

Someone wants to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. It just doesn’t seem right.

Suggestions:

• Say no. • Yell loudly. • Say you need to use the bathroom. • Use the phone to call someone you trust. Tell them

you need to leave. • Leave. • As soon as you can, tell someone you trust what

happened.

SITUATION:

You need to talk to a trusted adult about a problem. Role-play the conversation.

TEACHING AGAINST ABUSE - LESSON PLAN - 3RD GRADE

• Acting with awareness, calm, confidence, and respect. People are less likely to bother some-one who seems aware and has positive body language. Have students practice the difference between aggressive, assertive, and passive. Have them also practice tone of voice and word choices. Teach them to have assertive body language by walking quickly, with good posture, while looking around and being calm and peaceful.

• Teach students how to leave. Sometimes the best defense is leaving a bad situation. That can mean changing seats, stepping out of line, or walk-ing away. If students need to speak, have them say something neutral, such as saying, “Goodbye.” Keep the tone of voice neutral and pleasant. If a student is walking away from a bully, have the student glance back to see where the bully is.

• Set boundaries when someone is being disrespectful or doing something that is unsafe. If someone seems to be saying unkind things, have the child ask them what they mean. (Maybe the child is misunderstanding what is being said. Even if the child is not misunderstanding, being

challenged might be enough to cause the other child to stop.) In addition, the child can respond. For example, the child might say, “That sounded unkind” or “Please stop saying that.” If the child does not feel comfortable speaking up, teach the child to get adult help. Sometimes it is not possible to leave because another child is pre-venting it. Teach them to say, “Stop! Please move. I just want to leave.” If a child touches them in a bullying way, have the student turn to face the other child, make a protective fence with their arms, stand up tall, and loud-ly say, “Stop!” The child’s voice in all these situations should be calm, clear, and polite. You do not want them to sound aggressive or as though they are whining. Role-play some situations, but be very gentle. You do not want the child to feel hurt or scared at any point.

• Teach students to use their voices. Show them how to pull away and yell one or more of the following: “No! Stop! I don’t like that! Help!” They can also yell, “Leave!” Show them how to look a bul-ly in the eyes and use a firm voice. Have them put their hands in front of their body like a wall, with the palms facing out. Tell them to leave as soon as they can and tell an adult what happened.

Help your students put together a personal safety plan. The plan should include:

• Contact information for the parents, such as one or more addresses, telephone numbers, and parent names.

• What to do before going anywhere or getting in a car. (Check first with parents or with the person who is in charge.)

• What to do before accepting anything from anyone, even if the child knows the person. (Check first with a parent or with a trustworthy adult.)

• What to do before going somewhere or playing outside. (Always take a friend.)

• What to do if someone touches the child or treats the child in a way that makes the child feel confused, scared, or uncomfortable. (Either say no or tell the person to stop. Tell one or both parents or a trusted adult as soon as possible.)

Personal Safety Plan

Teach students the following eight safety skills:

TEACHING AGAINST ABUSE - LESSON PLAN - 3RD GRADE

• Teach students to protect their feel-ings from hurtful behavior and name calling. One technique is to have students pretend to catch unkind words or behaviors and throw them into a trash can, then replace them with something positive instead. For example, suppose someone says, “I hate you.” Have the student pretend to catch those words, throw them away, and replace them by saying, “I like myself.”

• Teach students how to ask to be in-cluded in a game or sport. Have the stu-dent practice saying, “I want to play,” in a cheerful and firm way. You want them to sound confident and friendly. Have them also practice some reasons why someone might give for rejecting them. If the person says, “You’re not good at this,” then have the student say, “This is a good time to practice.” If the person says, “We already have a full team,” the student could say, “We could take turns playing.” If the person says, “You cheat,” have the student say, “I didn’t under-stand the game before. Let’s go over the rules so that this time I know what they are.”

• Teach students how to be persistent about getting help from an adult even if the adult blames them for the prob-lem or ignores the problem. Sometimes adults are distracted. Sometimes they aren’t polite to students. Teach students to say to themselves, “I

have the right to get help.” Then have them practice being persistent. For example, teach students to say, “Excuse me, I have a safety problem.” As you pretend to continue to ignore them, have them repeat the re-quest: “Excuse me, I need your help.” Continue to ig-nore them. Next, have the student explain the prob-lem clearly and calmly. “Those children are pushing me. I have moved away from them three times, and they keep following me and continuing to push me.” Show them how to touch your arm and to speak more strongly: “Please, I really need you to listen. I do not feel safe, and it is your job to help me.” You could either finally listen, or have them approach another adult and have that adult listen.

• Using self-defense. Sometimes you cannot leave, get help, or get someone else to stop hurting you. Self-defense is a last resort, but there are times when everyone has the right to hurt someone else in order to prevent that person from continuing to hurt them. However, if children get into a fight, many schools will suspend everyone involved even if self-defense was involved, so this is a serious option to take. If it is not against school policy, teach them how they can protect themselves from bullying by kicking someone’s shins, hitting someone in the chest, or pinching an upper arm or leg. In addition, talk to the children about enrolling in self-defense programs and encourage them to talk with their parents about it.