Chemistry secretos coaching

2 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011

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“The Proven Formula

for Turning a Friend

into a Lover, Every

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“The Inner Game of

Chemistry!”


Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION ....................................................................................... 4

THE INNER GAME OF CHEMISTRY ............................................................. 5

What is Social Comfort? ........................................................................................................................ 6

When Does Social Comfort Happen?.................................................................................................... 8

Breaking Social Comfort ...................................................................................................................... 10

Attraction ............................................................................................................................................ 14

The Four Characteristics of Attraction................................................................................................ 15

Creating Likeness................................................................................................................................. 18

The Three Subjects for Creating Likeness ........................................................................................... 20

Section Recap: ..................................................................................................................................... 22

Exercise No1: Creating Natural Chemistry......................................................................................... 23

CONCLUSION ......................................................................................... 24


INTRODUCTION

Hi, I'm Jon Sinn. First and foremost, I want to welcome you and thank you

for making the decision to invest in yourself by taking place in the 5-Minute Chemistry Program.

This program is going to teach you how to never run out of things to say—ever again, as well as how to create instant chemistry with any woman anywhere.

It's so exciting! 5-Minute Chemistry is literally going to change your life!

What is Chemistry? Chemistry is what happens when you meet a woman, and everything just feels right. Have you ever had it happen where you were introduced to a girl, or you met a girl randomly, and you just hit it off and

everything you said seemed to be exactly what she wants to hear and everything she says is exactly what you're looking for?

This is what happens when you find yourself effortlessly connecting with the woman you're attracted to and compatible with all at the same time. Chemistry works at a little bit of a higher level, because chemistry brings in the idea of

compatibility. Anyone out there can teach you how to meet women that you have nothing

in common with, and lie or misrepresent yourself in order to get her into bed. But what we are talking about here is real chemistry. It's creating this feeling that the two of you are together and compatible very, very quickly.

Today I’m going to teach you everything you ever wanted to know about

chemistry.

In this e-book we will break down the inner game of chemistry. This means

the science, the actual science behind what creates this feeling that I've just

described. This feeling of effortlessly making a connection; effortlessly and easily getting along and having these great conversations that go forever.

I know a lot of you have emailed me over the years, saying, “I really am struggling with getting out there to talk to women because I just run out of things to say. I started the conversation and then it just trails off and I end up feeling

even worse about myself than I did before”. That will be a thing of the past very, very soon.

There is a very simple formula for chemistry, and once you learn it, and you learn the tactics and techniques to create it, you will be able to create it at will anytime you want. Let’s get started!


THE INNER GAME OF CHEMISTRY

So, what is the inner game of chemistry? In talking about the inner game of

chemistry—I'm talking about understanding the scientific process that creates the seemingly random feeling.

For most guys, getting chemistry with a woman is a numbers game. It's a matter of approaching enough women until you run into the type of woman who naturally is into you, and then hopefully you don’t mess it up. But, when you find

that woman, one out of ten, or one out of a hundred, or whatever, and you have this feeling, there is actually something systematic and scientific going on.

There is a formula, so to speak, for chemistry and a way to consistently create that feeling over and over and over again whether or not you have anything in common with the woman. Because it all comes down to a few

different elements, a few different emotions, and in this section I'm going to break down what creates chemistry, and teach you why it works the way it does.

I said, it's very, very exciting if you’ve ever worried about having

conversations, especially if you’ve ever worried about running out of things to

say. If you’ve ever felt like you end up in a friend zone a lot, this course is going to do a lot for you.

I've talked around this three-step formula for chemistry quite a little bit, but I want to now get into it and explain first why we call the course 5-Minute Chemistry. The reason we call the course 5-Minute Chemistry is because, like

in chemistry, there is a reliable and repeatable formula for creating chemistry with a woman.

The same way that two hydrogen plus one oxygen equal water, we have a formula that I'm about reveal and walk through with you in great detail that will create chemistry with a woman, that will create that feeling of effortlessly

connecting, and having those amazing conversations. So if you are ready, I will now reveal the formula.

Chemistry equals this feeling that you’ve known the person forever, that you have a million things in common, that the two of you feel like you’ve known each other all along and are very alike. It is caused by social comfort, which we

are going to talk about. Social comfort is making people comfortable. It's basically, not creeping

people out. A good definition of social comfort is to just not creep people out; not do anything that makes you weird. Plus attraction—attraction is a part of chemistry, absolutely.


There are some things we need to do to build attraction in order to get

chemistry going on. Chemistry is not felt without that attraction. Attraction is one of the elements: If a girl is comfortable with you, she's attracted to you.

And lastly, we add in likeness. And likeness we are going to hold off on explaining a little bit because I know some of my competitors are reading this section and they are probably thinking, “What the hell is that? I've never heard

of this before.” And I want you to wait a little bit longer to know how much more advanced my teaching is than yours.

So now what I want to do is, I want to break down this formula and show you how it works. Show you what's going on at an equation-based level, how all these things combine together. And we are going to talk about each one of

these individual pieces of this equation—social comfort, attraction and likeness.

WHAT IS SOCIAL COMFORT?

It's all about making people comfortable with you. This is something that a lot

of the pickup stuff does without realizing it.

If you look at opinion openers, the goal of an opinion opener is to get people

talking to you, to get women reacting to you socially without putting any

pressure on. Without saying, “Hey, I think you're hot.” Or, “Hi, my name is...”, and having

the expectation that this is a pick up. The great thing about opinion openers is that they're socially neutral. The whole goal of social comfort is to be neutral. It's not to be aloof or rude. It's not to be cool. It's not to be anything other than

friendly and neutral. You are being nice, you're talking, you're a talkative person, but you're not

putting any pressure on them. You're not telling her you like her, you're not putting any expectations on her. You're not expecting her to talk to you all night. And the reason that social comfort is so important is that attraction cannot exist

without comfort. I have a lot of analogies that I like to use for this—one of them is a vacuum

and a flame. If you have a flame, attraction is similar to a flame, right? It sparks up very quickly, it can get out of control, and make people do crazy things they never really fully intended to do. It can make crazy things happen. But if you put

a flame in a vacuum, and you take away the oxygen, then the flame eventually goes out. And so the thing about attraction in its relationship to comfort is that, without that oxygen, without that social comfort, the flame can't exist.


Another way to think about it is this. Years ago, I was in London and I was

walking out of a club and I saw a really hot girl and she was down this shady alley. She was saying, “Come down this alley, come talk to me”. And I said, “No, come talk to me out here”. And she was saying, “No, no, no, come down

here”, and I don’t know if it was sinister or not, but I never went down because I

didn’t feel safe.

And it made me think that unless you feel safe, unless you feel comfortable, that even if you're attracted, it won't work because safety, comfort, is our first priority. That’s one of the reasons people say, “Don’t talk to strangers”.

It's one of the reasons people are hesitant early on, because they're not

comfortable. They're being pushed out of their comfort zone, and so when we

approach someone, our goal is to get them back in their comfort zone as quickly as possible, to get them into having the conversation.

The goal of social comfort is basically to get people more comfortable having the conversation than they are not having the conversation. They don’t need to love you; they don’t need to be attracted. They just need to want to keep talking

to you. Here is where I have to make my public service announcement. All social

skills are not created equal. A lot of the times when I'm talking about social comfort, I'm talking about basic social skills. Things that sound very simple or simplistic, but are different when you are approaching a stranger, like when

you're on a sales call, or with your friends. So, a lot of the time, when I do phone coaching with my private coaching

clients, I have to break this down to them. And these guys are really successful. And on boot camps that I used to do, guys are like, “I'm really good at sales”, or “I have a lot of friends”, or “I'm really outgoing”. All those things might be true,

but it doesn’t mean you know how to build social comfort with a stranger. Just because you are outgoing and you like talking to people, it doesn’t mean those people necessarily like talking to you, or that those people were necessarily

comfortable when you approached them, or when you were talking to them. Just because they didn’t run away doesn’t mean that they were necessarily

comfortable. The same thing with sales; just because someone buys from you, it could be need they had, rather than the fact that you made them socially comfortable.

So don’t take it personally. Don’t ignore the stuff on social comfort because

you have quote/unquote "good social skills". It doesn’t mean you're a loser. It

doesn’t mean that you suck and that you're not actually outgoing and social. It just means that you don’t have to practice on cold approach.


Social skills and cold approach are a little bit different. Not a ton different, but

they're just a little bit different. There are these unwritten rules that we have to be aware of that I'm going to be teaching you in this course.

WHEN DOES SOCIAL COMFORT HAPPEN?

Social comfort happens from the second you finish your opener until the girls

would rather you stay and talk, than leave. So, I don’t like to give timeframes, but in general, social comfort is going to be the first three to five minutes of the interaction.

So, you are going to meet a girl. You are going to see a girl you want to talk

to. You're going to walk over to her, you're going to start a conversation, and

then assume...no matter what you say, if you say, “Hi, my name is Jon”. If you say, “Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something”, the first three to five minutes, you just want to get her comfortable with the interaction.

Now after that, we are going to start moving forward into attraction. We will

talk about that in a second, but I want to make a brief note here. If you have

been talking to a girl for 10 minutes and they haven't gotten to the point where it's hooked, and what I'm saying when I talk about hooked is that the girl would rather you stay and talk to her than leave, meaning she's contributing to the

conversation, she's enjoying herself, she's comfortable, she's got good body language, the group is embracing you— maybe you're not attracted, but they at least think you are a nice, normal, person.

When I used to teach boot camps, the way I would define social comfort is

this: If you go up and talk to a girl for 5, 10, 15 minutes, and I walk over afterwards and say, “How would you describe that guy?” And they just say, “He was a nice guy, he's normal.” That’s social comfort—that’s fine. That’s all you

want in social comfort. You don’t need to have them attracted to you. You don’t

need to have them wanting to have your babies. You just need to have them socially comfortable. Because once they’re socially comfortable, then you can start to move forward.

So this is what we call the crossover point. And the crossover point is where

you are going to break the social comfort. Once you’ve established social

comfort, it's now time to break it, ironically. And ironically, this is also why Mystery Method is flawed.

In Mystery Method, you are taught to run your opener, then use the false time constraint, which is where you say something like, “I have to go in a


second”, and then use a tease, or a neg as they call it—negative hit, which in my opinion, more hardcore than a tease, it's almost an insult.

The problem here is that openers take about 30 seconds, time constraint

takes about 2 seconds, tease takes about a second or two. So it's like 35

seconds of conversation. In 35 seconds, most people are not going to be comfortable with you. If you have great basics and fundamentals, if you are good-looking, if you have a lot of social proof, maybe 35 seconds is enough that

you can get away with doing something that disturbs the social comfort. But what usually happens when you break social comfort too early is that the people just don’t care.

Think about it like this: You walk up to a girl who doesn’t want to talk to you.

She didn’t approach you, she didn’t make eye contact with you, she didn’t give

any sort of approach invitations, and she probably just doesn’t even know you're alive. She doesn’t hate you, she doesn’t think you're a loser, she just didn’t notice you.

You start talking to her, and she still doesn’t. She's just neutral, she's not into

the conversation, she's not hooked, she hasn’t reached the point where she'd

rather talk to you than not talk to you. And then you insult her, or you do something that she can take as an insult. You might as well shoot yourself in the foot with a bazooka, because you can't disqualify someone who is not

interested. The whole point of Mystery Method is that you disqualify them before they

can disqualify you. But until the girls are committed to the conversation, until they’ve decided that you are in fact someone that they want to talk to, and that they would rather talk to you than not talk to you, breaking social comfort tactics

like negs is bad because it's the same as if you were talking to a homeless person and he just called you a loser. You wouldn’t really care. You can't disqualify someone who doesn’t like you. You can't make people feel bad about

themselves; if they don’t care about your opinion. The first step is getting to the point where they care about your opinion, and

social comfort is the best way to do that because then they say, “Oh, this person is cool”. Maybe not attractive cool, but you're at least normal and fun to

talk to. So then when you break that social comfort, they actually care, and that

is how you actually can use disqualifiers, negs, teases— whatever. We will talk about the actual ways you do this in a minute, but breaking that

social comfort can only happen once it's already been established. If there is no social comfort you can't just assume it, you can't just assume the girl wants to talk to you. Sometimes you might be right, but when you're wrong you're

throwing away perfectly good interactions, and that’s really one of my major problems with Mystery Method.


So breaking social comfort means simply to do something to upset the social

comfort you’ve established. Usually it's done by teasing. When you break social comfort with someone you have already established that social comfort with, they respond by chasing the social comfort, which then allows us the time and

attention to begin to focus on attracting her. And this is actually how Mystery Method would work, except they don’t explain it correctly. They shrink the timeframes down and they don’t fill in the space between the tactics. Social

comfort, one of its big points, is that it fills in the stuff between the tactics. Guys come in with very unrealistic expectations of how this stuff works. They

think they need seven million tactics to get a girl into bed. You need 10 to 12, tops, but you’ve got to be able to fill in the silence between those tactics and techniques with stuff that isn't weird, that’s fun and neutral, and that doesn’t

make the girls uncomfortable. And that’s a big part of social comfort. But when you build on social comfort, when the girl thinks, “Oh this guy is cool” and the group thinks, “This guy is cool”, and then you break it, then they are going to

chase it. That’s when the thinking turns into, “Okay, everybody likes this guy, he has

just kind of teased me a little bit, but I'll show him”—that’s where that mindset comes in, but you can't do that until you first make her comfortable. You can't get someone to chase something they don’t want, and that’s really the issue.

BREAKING SOCIAL COMFORT

So once you’ve got them hooked, once they're socially comfortable and they

are contributing to the conversation, that’s when it's time to break social comfort. The three most common ways to break social comfort are:

1. Teasing. Teasing is basically a way of competent flirting. When you tease a girl, you are saying something that, on the surface, is slightly rude or funny at her expense, but the underlying meaning, the thought, the emotion behind the sentiment, is “I like you”. That’s the way you want to think about teasing.

Notice I don’t put disqualification on here; disqualification can break social

comfort, but it's a very hit-or-miss technique. You have to be a little more advanced, whereas teasing, just using a non sequitur tease that doesn’t have anything to do with anything and that doesn’t make her feel bad about her

flaws, is a much more effective way of breaking rapport, from my experience. 2. Push-pulls. The second thing is push-pulls. Push-pull is sending mixed

signals; being ambiguous, keeping her on her toes, being unpredictable, whatever you want to call it; it's the alternating of hot and cold. Push-pull uses a lot of the apposition of opposites; where you do something that’s physically


warm, like I might hug a girl and tell her I hate her. Or I might push a girl away and tell her I love her. Or I might compliment a girl and then take the

compliment away with a tease. Push-pull is very, very powerful because there have been studies done on reward that is not consistent. There is a specific term for it, but I'm blanking on it.

Basically what happened was, they did an experiment with pigeons. I think it

was Milgram, and he put food in a pigeon container and they had to push the

thing for a food pellet, and when the food pellet came out, the pigeons would basically just eat until they were full, and then got bored when it came out every time. When it came out every three times, the pigeons basically sat there all day

pecking at it, because they couldn’t figure out how to get it to work. That’s part of why push-pull works, because it's unpredictable. The power of

unpredictable responses is very, very, very powerful. It allows you to really keep women interested and engaged because they are always thinking of what's coming next. Be careful, though, when you do push-pull. You don’t want to be

too extreme. You will want to basically keep the woman swinging between validation and de-validation. You don’t want to de-validate her too much and you don’t want to validate her too much because then she's going to lose

interest with push-pull. 3. Physical Teasing. And lastly, physical teasing—pushing the girl away,

spanking her, slapping her lightly on the hand, flicking her, thumb wrestling, stuff like that. Fun, light, not heavy, not touching like, “Oh, I'm trying to get into your pants”, but just touching like, “Oh, get out of here”. Think about the stuff

you would do with your sister when you were kids, or the rough-housing you would do with a little girl—nothing sexual, nothing groping about it.

Alright, so let's get a little more in-depth and I'll give you some examples. So teasing like we talked about before, the art of saying something rude, but communicating, “I like you”. It's highly competent flirting. This is the kind of

counter-intuitive stuff that girls really like, and that really shows that you speak the Insider language of women. So I'll give you a couple of low-caliber teases that you can always use that are never going to blow up in your face; that are

never going to get you insulted, but that are always going to break that social comfort a little bit.

The first one is the classic Mystery line. “I can already tell you and I are

never going to get along.” You will want to expand that you can, and I'll give you my expanded version here. “I can already tell, you and I are never going to get

along. You're not going to take my shit; I'm not going to take your shit, like where is the fun in that? We are going to fight all the time and I'm always going to win and then you are going to get like really low self-esteem. I just don’t want

to do that to you.”


So again, “You and I are never going to get along”, “I can already tell you and I are never going to get along”, “I can already tell you and I are never going

to get along, we’re going to fight all the time, we are too similar”. That’s a great

line—easily the best tease of all time—I still use it; learned it from Mystery seven years ago; still using it today.

The next one—you are trouble. You are trouble. If you are feeling a little

bolder, you can say, “You're naughty; you are trouble”, “you are naughty, you

are bad”. “You are an issue, you are a problem child”. Just the idea that she's

trouble, makes her think you are trouble.

And the last one, which is one of my favorites: This is a pushback line, a pushback tease. It gives the girl something to push back against, so she qualifies herself. Teasing, you say “I can already tell, you're too much of a nice

girl for me. You're too nice for me. I would probably corrupt you and have you down on the track, like, turning tricks and smoking crack cocaine, so you should run away!”

It's not rude. The big thing I think scares guys about teasing is, “I want to be

a nice guy, I don’t want to insult women”. You don’t have to. Teasing is not

about insulting; teasing is about saying, “I like you”, in a way that’s low-pressure. In a way that’s fun, in a way that makes the girl comfortable.

So we talked about push-pull a little before, but here I want to introduce the idea of the seesaw. Push-pull is all about balancing the seesaw. If you think about it, on one side of the seesaw we have teasing and insulting. Like just

basically saying things that are ball busting. If you’ve ever bust balls with your buddies, and you tease them or your family— everyone does it to someone, and on one side we have teasing.

If you tease a girl 100 percent of the time, all you do is tease, and you can

go out and do this. If you're just like, “Yeah, I can already tell you and I are not

going to get along—you are such a dork, whoever your last boyfriend was, did not spank you enough. You are a problem, you are bad, you suck, I hate you, you're cute”—but if you just keep doing that, eventually the girl is going to think

you are an asshole. Some girls may even sleep with you before they think that, but those girls have a host of psychological issues that we are not going to get into here.

On the flip side of that, you have complimenting. You just compliment a girl.

If you just say, “Oh, my God, you're so pretty, we have so much in common. I'm

so glad I met you, you're so great, you're so amazing, like you're the coolest girl ever; I was touched by a rocket ship when I found you”, and whatever. The girl

is going to just think you're kind of lame and possibly manipulative because you've just complimented her too much. She’ll think, “Okay, what is it that this guy wants?”, so we want to think about this as balancing.


Push-pull is where you balance. For every time you tease, you give a

compliment. For every time you compliment, you give a tease. So, for example, I could say, “You know what, you're really cute. I hate cute girls.” You are really

cute— compliment. I hate cute girls— tease. “You know, you are really smart

and down to earth, I just hope you're not boring.” You're really smart and down to earth— compliment. I hope you're not boring— tease.

Tell her she's adorable. “I think you are absolutely adorable. It's kind of

gross, leave me alone.” Hug her and tell her you hate her, I mentioned that. If

you can switch the physical with the verbal, that’s very, very powerful because

then you're communicating on multiple channels, and you're also throwing her off.

If you can physically reject a girl while telling her you like her, it's extremely, extremely powerful. Like, for example, “You know what, I kind of like you”—and

I push her away a little bit, not hard—you're not like shoving the chick, but you

know, you push her away a little bit. You'll find that they come back twice as hard, like a boomerang, because she's like, “Wait, you like me, why are you pushing me away”, and then now she's going to feel compelled to escalate.

The cool thing about push-pull is that it can make women escalate, because

they want to. They're like, “I know he kind of likes me. I'll just make a move or

something”—very powerful. And lastly use physical teasing. This happens when you specifically,

PLAYFULLY, PLAYFULLY, PLAYFULLY (notice it's capitalized), reject a woman physically. That’s the key to playfully, physically teasing her. There are a lot of ways to do this, but some common things to do are: putting your arm

around her, then pushing her away. You know, I used to go out with a guy who had a routine where he would

approach a group of girls and when it was starting to go well, he'd put his arm around the girl he was interested in and then go, “Hey, do you guys think we make a good couple? Do we look good together?” And inevitably the group would be like, “Yes you do”. And then he’d be like, “No, I don’t think so”, and

push her away. It’s a great thing to do— a great, great thing to do.

Back turns. Back turns are under-rated. Back turns are old School Mystery Method, like very, very old school. I don’t think anyone really teaches them anymore, but back turns work, if you are doing them in a playful way.

If I just turn my back on the girl like I'm mad at her, I'm pouting and I'm being

a little bitch, then obviously it's not going to work. But if I'm talking to her, and I'm like, “Oh, my God, I can't believe you don’t eat tacos”, and I humph and turn my back on her like it's obviously playful, she's going to be like, “Oh, come


back”. But it's still going to get the idea that I turned my back on her, it still

breaks that social comfort. I'm still playfully rejecting her which makes her chase

my validation, that’s the whole point of breaking rapport—I'm sorry, breaking social comfort—I used to call it breaking rapport.

When you break social comfort, the girl feels compelled to chase. The same thing happens with playfully pushing her, flicking her, bumping her, with your hip to her hip, play-fighting. One thing I'll sometimes do is grab the girl's hands and then playfully slap herself in the face. I would be like, “Why are you hitting yourself?” like a big brother.

The kind of fun like picking her up, and putting her down; like patting her on the head very patronizingly. There is a lot of stuff that you can do. But again, it's the idea that you are playfully rejecting her physically.

ATTRACTION

Alright, so we’ve talked about social comfort. Now let's move on to the second one in chemistry, which is attraction. Attraction is the feeling of wanting more of someone or something. Attraction is really nothing more than an emotion. It's the emotion that says: “I like this, I want more of it”.

Attraction is not a choice, that’s something that is said a lot in the pickup

community, but rather it's a psychological mechanism that women use to assess potential partners. That’s what's going on. You don’t need to understand the red queen, or sperm wars, or any of that stuff. You don’t need to waste your

time reading a ton of evolutionary biology to understand the attraction process between fish and birds, and read about stuffed grouses and all this bullshit. You need to understand that attraction is just an emotion. It's just a feeling. It's a

feeling that women use to assess physical partners, to assess potential partners for sex.

“Does this feel like someone that I want more of, or is this someone I don’t want any of; or is it someone I'm just neutral on.” One thing to keep in mind is, there is no prize for attraction. There is no prize for having the best attraction

game in the world. There is no prize for being better at attraction. Attraction is just a means to an end; that’s why we talk about it as one of the elements here in creating chemistry. Attraction by itself is not chemistry. Attraction by itself

does not get you laid. Attraction by itself does not get a girl to return your phone call.

The obsession on attraction in the pickup community, in my opinion, is strange because attraction is just a tool, it's just a feeling. It's a feeling we need to make a woman feel, but it is not the be all and end all of everything. So you


don’t want to be attached to creating attraction just for attraction sake. Sometimes the girl is physically attracted to you and you don’t need to do

anything for attraction. So don’t feel that you have to run through all the stuff to do attraction. Understand that it's just a feeling.

Now I want to talk about the four naturally attractive characteristics. There are four characteristics that cause attraction when you display them, and for the sake of this course, this is how we are going to deal with attraction.

THE FOUR CHARACTERISTICS OF ATTRACTION

The four characteristics are being fun, being interesting, being masculine and being confident. So we are going to go through these one by one and I'll give you a brief overview on them so that when we start to give you tactics in

the third section, you will understand that— “okay, this is a fun tactic, this is an interesting tactic, this is a masculine tactic, this is a confident tactic”—because demonstrating these characteristics, for some guys, they get it right away, and

they're like, “Okay, I'll do those four things and I'm good”. For other guys, it's more difficult.

So let's go over the FOUR characteristics of attraction.

1. BEING FUN

Being fun—fun is the number one attraction switch. Fun is just positive emotions. It's something that is enjoyable. If anything is enjoyable, it's fun. Fun equals enjoyment. If talking to you and hanging out with you and making out

with you and hooking up is the most fun option for the girl, then Johnny Depp with a fucking barrelful of cash and unlimited supply of alcohol can't steal that girl away. Being fun is the ultimate attraction source. Women just want to have

fun. Or girls just want to have fun, like Cindi Lauper singing in the '80s, that’s what they want. They just want to have a good time. They just want to have positive emotions.

When I think about fun, I think about being a source of positive emotions.

Being that someone that doesn’t bring the vibe down. Being that someone that

lifts the girls to another level; that the girl always has a better time when you are around. She always has a better time when she's talking to you, and every time she's around your presence, there is a nonstop cycle of good emotions; just

good emotion after good emotion, after good emotion. And if you can do that value, all of the other stuff that we are going to talk about—melts away. If you can be fun, you can create chemistry and you can get laid. That’s the big, big,

big, big secret.


2. BEING INTERESTING

The second thing, being interesting. One of the issues with the school of pick

up is it suggests that inner game is all game, and that getting into the right emotional state and then just going out and talking to girls is the way to do it. They run into an issue with being interesting.

When it comes to approaching strangers, they don’t have any social

obligation to talk to you. You don’t have friends in common. If you're not part of

the same church, you don’t have any potential job offerings for them, nothing like that. You’ve got very, very little in common, so unless you interest them in addition to being in a good emotional state, they are not going to keep talking to

you. And you have to remember this: that you approached them, they didn’t approach you.

So the burden of being fun and interesting is on you, not on them. That’s one of the reasons that interview pickups don’t work. You just don’t go out and ask a girl a bunch of questions, because you're not contributing anything. She doesn’t

feel like she's getting to know you, she feels like she's getting a lot of conversational pressure to keep things going, which she doesn’t care about, because she wasn’t that interested in meeting you in the first place.

So you’ve got to have things that are interesting to say, and the bar for

interesting is set much lower than you think it is. Your competition is not super-

interesting mother fuckers like myself, it's the “where do you...where are you from, what do you do, where did you go to college” guy. Most guys who approach women in bars and clubs or on the street, or wherever, just ask a ton

of questions or they try to impress the girl by bragging about stuff. Those are the two schools of approaching that happen when guys haven't

studied how to meet, attract and seduce women. So we want to be different, we want to have interesting things to say.

We want to tell her things she hasn’t heard before. We want to talk about things that are interesting to us. One of the keys to being interesting, is being interested in what you're talking about. The more interested you are in what you

have to say, the easier it's going to be for you to be interesting to women. You can make almost anything interesting. I have talked to women about the

movie “V for Vendetta” for almost an hour and gotten laid. I've talked to girls about R. Kelly's “Trapped in the Closet, Hip Hopper”. I've talked to girls about kick boxing, boxing and MBA playoffs. Part of being interesting is just having

things that you are interested in and being enthusiastic about what you are saying. And we will talk about some techniques for that in the third section.


3. BEING MASCULINE

Alright, the third characteristic that we are going to talk about is being masculine. This was actually my biggest sticking point among these four tactics.

Women are naturally designed to be attracted to masculine men. Now when most guys think of a masculine man, they think of some big, steroid ripped, long-haired Fabio mother fucker, and that’s not what I'm talking about when I'm

talking about being masculine. Being masculine doesn’t have anything to do with looks, it doesn’t have anything to do with physicality, or anything like that. It has to do with internal strength.

Women want a man who is internally centered, who has things that are more

important than her, who is able to be a rock in her emotional storm. If you’ve

ever heard of the idea of being non-reactive, being non-reactive is an extremely male characteristic. Women are expected to get emotional. And there is the stereotype of this hysterical woman who is completely at the whim of her

emotions, but there is something to that. That we want to display that inner strength, we want to show that we are the rock in her emotional storm. That she can have her emotions and indulge and we are going to be a calm, controlled,

patient, leader. You know, one of the most important qualities when it comes to dealing with women, is the ability to lead, and that’s a very masculine quality.

You can't ask the girl to lead the interaction. You can't ask the girl to lead the conversation. You can't ask the girl to lead physically and take you to the bedroom. You’ve got to take control of that and not be afraid to move things

forward—and be a leader. It's a very masculine trait, and it's something that attracts women.

4. BEING CONFIDENT

And lastly, being confident! You’ve heard this, I'm sure, in many, many

places, but confidence attracts people. They’ve done studies on it. People who

are confident are more successful at everything. It is better to be a little over-confident, than under-confident, and confidence actually has a formula.

Confidence is something that can be readily designed, and is something that you can build. And the formula for confidence is not something I came up with, it's something a friend of mine named Dave said to me years ago in a bar in

New York. And he said, “You know, confidence is easy”, and I was like, “Okay, what's confidence?” He said, “The formula for confidence is fear plus survival.”

If you find something that you're afraid of, where you have a lack of confidence, the secret to building confidence is to do it anyway. Is to do it and not even be successful. Confidence doesn’t equal fear plus success; it equals

fear plus survival.


If you do something that you're afraid of, you survive. You see that it's not the end of the world. The girl is not going to kill you, she's not going to have her

boyfriend smash you over the head with a glass bottle or wait outside the bar or club to shoot you like Tupac.

Even if you get embarrassed, even if you get rejected in front of a lot of people, your world doesn’t end. You're not bleeding; you're not going to be on life support. You will start to build confidence, and then there are things you can

do that can display confidence. There are things that you can do that will make people think, “Wow, he is a very confident person.”

There are ways you can conduct yourself, manners in which you can interact with people. Things that you can say or do, that display this confidence. But a lot of people are afraid to do that, because they're afraid they're going to be

judged. But if you're going to be judged anyway, which you are, it's much better to be judged as too confident.

So the four characteristics to recap are:

Being Fun—Being the source of positive emotions.

Being Interesting— Having things to say, being a good conversationalist. All the things, routines…all that crap, falls into being interesting.

Being Masculine— Having that masculine core, that purpose, that rock in the emotional storm.

Being Confident— Showing that you are not afraid, weeding that fear out, showing that you have a plan, you have actions, and you are confident in

your success. Confidence is a belief in yourself, and when you survive something you're afraid of, you build that belief in yourself.

And when you display these four characteristics— fun, interesting, masculine, confident — you will attract any woman anywhere.

CREATING LIKENESS

And lastly, we come to the final part of our formula: Creating likeness.

So what is likeness? Likeness is the idea that you and the women are very,

very similar. You have things in common. Likeness is all about commonalities,

corollaries. All of these things that exist; if you live in a city and you're in a bar or club, you probably have more things in common with that girl who is also in the same city and the same bar and club, than you have with things that are not in

common.


It's just that most people don’t know how to show the otherwise, unseen conclusions. That’s why a lot of the times when you see guys talking to girls, they will grasp at straws by saying something like, “Oh, you went to college at USC, did you know Sandra Cohen?” or, “Oh, you work for DreamWorks, do you know Jake Shields?”.

I've been reading too much NLA stuff lately, but the way to build likeness is

not by doing those grasping for straws kind of ideas, but instead, by showing

the woman the otherwise unseen commonalities that exist in your city. Such as restaurants you go to, people you know in common in the context of

the night. People you know in common in the club—bartenders. Just knowing the same bartender creates a likeness; knowing the same promoter creates a little bit of likeness. Knowing the same door person; knowing the same owner of

a restaurant. Pop culture references create likeness. All of these things create likeness.

Likeness is the key to chemistry, and no other dating guru is even aware of this, let alone teaches it. In fact, if you look at all of the classic studies on attraction, every one of them comes back to likeness.

If you go to basic psychology classes, Psychology 101, Intro to

Psychology—even before 101, anything you read in those text books says that

people like those who are like them. We tend to like people that are like us. The best example of likeness comes in the form of people who share the

same name. They have done several studies, most famously, one at UCLA where people were 70 times more likely to just like someone who had the same name as them, or remember someone who had the same name as them, than

there were people who had different names. So the more you can show the girl that you guys have a similar perspective

— you hang out at similar places, you have similar lives — the more that chemistry is going to be instantly created, because that’s what creates the ah-ha switch moment. When the woman realizes that you and her have a lot in

common, and that it makes sense for the two of you to hang out, that is the ah-ha moment. That’s why it is much easier to set up a date with a girl when you have an interest in common.

If both of you like to do karaoke, it's easy to set up a karaoke date. If both of

you like to rollerblade, it's easy to set up a rollerblading date. These little things

make a huge, huge difference. Without likeness, you just have attraction, and social comfort. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. With likeness, it works almost every single time.


So, likeness is important because it warms the cold approach. A cold approach, by definition, is cold. It’s when you don’t have anything in common,

you don’t know her, or you don’t have any social ties. There is really no reason for her to even be nice to you, unless you do things

to deserve it. But by showing her you like the same food, you go to the same clubs, and you know people through one to two degrees of separation, even famous people, you create likeness.

One of the best tools to create likeness is, discussing famous people in the

news. Like recently, we've had the Royal Wedding; recently we've had Charlie

Sheen. Historically we've had Britney Spears, and all of these people. So by discussing these things and having a similar opinion with the girl to

which you build likeness, and you stop being a stranger, now the girl can extrapolate, “Okay, he thinks this about X, Y and Z, he must be this type of a person”. And if she starts to say, “Oh, hey, I'm like that. I like that”, and now,

there is chemistry.

THE THREE SUBJECTS FOR CREATING LIKENESS

So there are three magic subjects for creating likeness.

1. Schools, camps, childhood memories, anything in the area. Don’t get outside of your regional references. In the tactics and techniques

section, I'm going to teach you how to build up your stash of regional references. You must learn what is going on in your area, who the movers and shakers are, what's hot right now, what's not, what's a secret spot that nobody

knows about. Especially know about schools. If you are from L.A., like me, I grew up in the

city. If you grew up in your city, then you know about people who went to certain high schools. Talk about the reputation you had with this school. Talk about camps that you may have gone to as a kid.

Childhood memories— if you grew up in California and you never went to

Santa Monica Pier as a kid, you're fucking weird. There is stuff like this in every

single city; I don’t care if you live in fucking bum-fuck Albuquerque. There is stuff that everyone does that is just the things that you do in the area. The more you reference those, the more you have likeness.

2. Food


Building likeness through liking the same foods, restaurants, diets, etc., is money. Everybody eats. This is actually the technique I most loathe to give up,

because it's one of my personal favorites, and it's so easy to do. Everybody eats. Everyone has favorite restaurants. Everyone has a place they think has the best Chinese food, tacos, burgers, grilled cheese sandwich, whatever. The

more you can talk about that and connect with the girl, the more there is going to be likeness. And I talk to girls about food a lot. So you can really mine that, and then it's easy to ask them out, because you can then say, “Oh, you’ve got

to go to the Mac & Cheese Truck”—pretty easy.

3. Local Celebrities

Every area has local celebrities. They have people who are well known. I call them the movers and shakers. For some people, it's people in the Chamber

of Commerce. In some cities, it’s doctors, or famous business people. In the club scene, there are promoters and deejays; sometimes celebrity bar people or door guys.

In the yoga scene, there are celebrated teachers. In the networking scene,

there are organizers. By name-dropping these people that you have in

common, you establish credibility and commonalities that build likeness. I know people who have probably told you not to namedrop, that it's bad—fuck that—it's good.

Namedropping specific people in the right way, which I'll teach you in the

third section, will establish credibility and will show that you are of a certain

social status. And if you and her are of the same social status, then you're on the same level, then it makes sense that the two of you have chemistry, because you both have similar life experiences.

Before I actually give you an extra one, I'll give you two extra ones because

I'm fucking awesome; It’s called “locals-only spots”.

In every town there is a best hamburger or karaoke bar, a running trail, a cup

of coffee; by knowing what some of these places are, especially if you know

them and the girl doesn’t, you're building a lot of likeness. If the girl doesn’t know the best karaoke bar you’ve ever been to, and she likes karaoke, she's going to have a lot of chemistry with you.

But even more so if you're talking about the best hamburger in town and the

girl doesn’t know what it is. If you are building likeness and you both agree that

somewhere is the best, that’s magic commonalities, and magic chemistry, right there.

POP CULTURE


And lastly—pop culture. Pop culture is a really, really powerful one because if you hit the right pop culture commonality, it can create chemistry and

attraction. I will always remember, on a boot camp in Scottsdale, they had a bar called

Martini Ranch. I was gaming this really, really hot girl, and her two friends were literally talking shit about me, from like two feet away, and it wasn’t going well. And then I was like, “Alright, I'm going to go home and listen to Trapped in the Closet, R. Kelly's Hip Hop.” And she was like, “Oh, my God, you know Trapped in the Closet?” And from then it was super on, and I ended up going

home with her that night and hanging out with her for a couple months after that when I came in from out of town; all because of the commonality.

The right pop culture commonality can turn everything around, especially the more obscure it's. A lot of people like U2, a lot of people like Sublime. Not too many people like R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet, or Metalocalypse, or these

more obscure pop culture things, that if people know them, they are really, really into them.

SECTION RECAP:

So those are five magic subjects for creating likeness, which brings us to the

end of this section. Let’s take a look at what we learned:

The inner game of my three-step formula for creating chemistry.

The three-step formula is Chemistry = Social Comfort + Attraction

Chemistry and social comfort, which is basically just not creeping people

out. It's being neutral. It's being friendly. It's getting the conversation to the point where the girl would rather talk to you than have you leave. We also defined and explained what social comfort was and breaking social comfort.

The different ways to break social comfort which are: teasing, push-pull, and physically teasing, which is where you physically reject the girl.

Attraction—an attraction is simply a feeling. It's that feeling of, “I like this person, I want to be around them more, I am interested in this, I want more

of this.” But again, remember that attraction is not the be all and end all. Just because you get attraction doesn’t mean you have chemistry; it doesn’t mean you're going to get laid. You can get attraction with most people, it's

just a feeling. It's just a feeling of, “I want more of this.” And because it's just a feeling, it's transient. You can get a girl attracted, but if you don’t build the


likeness, you'll lose the chemistry. You will lose your ability to get chemistry, because she might become less attracted to you down the line.

The FOUR naturally attractive characteristics which are:

Being fun

Being interesting

Being masculine

Being confident

About likeness—likeness is having things in common, warming the cold approach through commonalities, through knowing someone in common. Knowing similar places, showing that you and her are on the same level.

Showing that you have things in common and that it only makes sense for the two of you to get together because she's comfortable, she's attracted and you have things in common. And now you just need a little bit of

qualification, a little bit of actual rapport, and some physical escalation and you're off to the races.

EXERCISE NO1: CREATING NATURAL CHEMISTRY

Alright, now, it wouldn’t be a “Sinns of Attraction” section without an exercise

and some scantily-clad woman working out.

So what I want you to do is a fun exercise. I want you to take 15 minutes, set

a timer if you have to. Think back to a time when you had chemistry with a

woman naturally. I know it has happened for you, where you met a girl and you just instantly hit it off with her. Where everything that you were saying, she was into. Everything she was saying you were into. Write it out, write out how it

happened. If you met her at a party one time … if you were introduced to her at work…

if your sister had a friend who came over when you were in high school and you just hit it off. Write it out and see if you can fit that situation into the three-step formula.

See how social comfort happened. If you were introduced by someone,

that’s social comfort right there. That’s an informal testimonial that you are a

good person, by introducing someone to someone else. You're saying, “You two people are good—I like both of you, meet each other.” There is your social comfort. If she got attracted because she liked your sense of humor and you

both had something in common, you will see your attraction.


The likeness, see if you can find all of these characteristics and start to see, “Okay, what does that look like, in the real world what do these three things look

like”, because there is always a difference between intellectual understanding, which is what I'm giving you in these sections, and I know you can see the value in them. I know you're probably thinking, “Oh, my God, this is has

changed my whole view on approaching and the approaching process”, but there is a difference between intellectual understanding and the real world. So we want to start to bridge the gap. We want to start to think when we were

successful, even if you didn’t sleep with the woman, even if you screwed it up down the line. You got to that point, you had that natural chemistry—think about it. Think how it fits into this model.

Alright, that’s going to wrap up our section. I know that there is a lot of

information in this section, so I want you to make sure that you make me a

personal promise that you're not going to move on to the next section until you’ve done the exercise and you’ve really understood the inner game of chemistry, because from here on in things are going to get more advanced.

In our next section, we will be teaching you how to never ever run out of

things to say, ever again. So it's going to be very tactic-heavy. We are going to

be very focused on ways to keep the conversation going, to keep you from stalling out, and to help you have conversations to build chemistry.

So I know you are very excited for that, but please, please, please, make sure you do the exercise, and that you really understand this section before you move on to the next one. You don’t want to go too far too fast, because it will

end up biting you in the butt.

CONCLUSION

Now that you have a better understanding of chemistry, I want you to re-read this section once more.

This program is designed to get you prepared to approach women. If you're not going to go out and talk girls, this program is useless. So make sure that you get out there and start using these techniques right away.

You work on understanding the inner game of chemistry. As you're talking to

girls, think about how it relates to the ideas in your head. Think about those

tactics and never run out of things to say, make sure you're prepared. You should never run out of things to say ever again, and then you should have a framework and an idea, especially if you do this exercise of what to say to build

chemistry, to create chemistry in 5 minutes.


I want to congratulate you and thank you for going through the first part of the 5-Minute Chemistry Program. I'm very, very proud of this program, and I

hope you get amazing results with it. If you have questions, or you want to leave us feedback, we really do

appreciate success stories. I know we've gotten some of them from our test group that we gave this out to before we put it on the market, but it always helps if you have chemistry stories. If you want to tell us about your success, please

email me at: [email protected] with the email titled: Success Story

with Chemistry. I look forward to hearing about all of your success. Get out there, start using

this stuff and congratulate yourself for having the discipline to go through this and to really work on building these skills.

Thanks, and I'll talk to you very soon.

mailto:[email protected]

Chemistry secretos coaching

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