Chemistry Jokes

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CHEMISTRY JOKES The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state. Q: What do you do with a dead chemist? A: Barium Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail? A: A silicon. Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"? A: H2O. Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond. Q: Why is a physics book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed. Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar? A: An Algorithm Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg! Q: How do 5 gay men walk? A: One Direction! Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school?

Transcript of Chemistry Jokes

CHEMISTRY JOKES

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist? A: Barium

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail? A: A silicon.

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"? A: H2O.

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.

Q: Why is a physics book always unhappy?

A: Because it always has lots of problems.

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

A: H2O cubed. Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

A: An Algorithm

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?

OMg! Q: How do 5 gay men walk?

A: One Direction! Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school?

A: Because he/she was going to high school!

Q: What happened to the plant in math class?

A: It grew square roots.

Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation?

A: Expla-nation.

Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?

A: Because she couldn't control her pupils?

Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle?

A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?

A: Because 7 8 9 Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary?

A: Rubber-band -- because it streches. Q: Name a bus you can never enter?

A: A syllabus Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?"

Student: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?"

Teacher: "Simon, can you say your name backwards?"

Simon: "No Mis."

Teacher: How can we keep the school clean?

Student: By staying at home.

Teacher: What is irony?

Student: "Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe."

Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang?

A: The Nucleus

Q: What comes down but never goes up?A: Rain , AgeQ: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?A: A candleQ: Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?A: If you answered Nunu, you are wrong. It’s Mary!Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?A: It can have a hole in it.Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!What color were the stairs?A: There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?A: A stamp!

Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?A: A Secret.

Q: Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?A: EMPTYQ: What has hands but can not clap?A: A clockQ: What can you catch but not throw?A: A cold.Q: A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?A: The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.Q: What is at the end of a rainbow?A: The letter W!Q: What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?A: His breath!Q: What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?A: A teapot!Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?A: Silence.Q: A man was driving his truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. Up ahead, a woman was crossing the street. How did he see her?A: It was a bright and sunny day!Q: What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?A: A palm!Q: If an electric train is travelling south, which way is the smoke going?A: There is no smoke, it’s an electric train!

Q: You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?A: You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.Q: How many months have 28 days?A: All 12 months!

Q: We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it?A: The letter “E”

Q: Mr. Blue lives in the blue house, Mr. Pink lives in the pink house, and Mr. Brown lives in the brown house. Who lives in the white house?A: The president!

Q: How do you make the number one disappear?A: Add the letter G and it’s “GONE”

Method 1 of 2: To Become Taller

1.

1Consume a balanced diet. A person will look a lot shorter when having a plump body. Not only

that, being fit by eating right will make you taller and feel better!

Eat plenty of lean protein. Lean protein, such as white poultry meat, fish, soy, and dairy,

helps promote muscle growth and healthy bones. Simple carbohydrates such as pizza, cakes,

sweets, and soda, are the stuff to stay away from.

Eat plenty of calcium. Calcium, found in leafy green vegetables such as spinach and kale,

and in dairy (yogurt and milk), helps promote healthy bones.[1]

Get enough zinc. Studies, although they have been inconclusive so far, point to a possible link

between zinc deficiencies and stunted growth in boys.[2] Good sources of zinc include oysters,

wheat germ, pumpkin and squash seeds, lamb, peanuts, and crab.[3]

Get enough vitamin D. Vitamin D promotes bone and muscle growth in children[4], and a

deficiency has been shown to stunt growth and cause weight gain in teenage girls.[5] Vitamin D

can be found in fish, alfalfa, or mushrooms commonly.

2Exercise throughout the teen years and in puberty to improve your height modestly. Do jumping exercises frequently, such as skipping. Be active. Get out and about and work your muscles for at least 30 minutes each day.

Join a gym. Joining a gym will help give you access to a lot of great exercising and

muscle-building machines. It will also keep you motivated to work out (you'll feel silly if

you're not exercising in the gym).

Join a sports team. People who join sports teams can use their natural

competitiveness to burn extra calories and hopefully get their bodies taller. The great

thing about team sports is that half the time, you don't even realize that you're

exercising.

If nothing else, walk around. If you can't find the time to do anything else, get up and

walk around. Walk to the grocery store. Walk to the library. Walk to school.

3Get adequate sleep each night. Sleeping is the time when your body grows, so having plenty of sleep is equivalent to giving your body more time for growth. Get between 9 and 11 hours of sleep per night if you're a preteen or still younger than 20.

The human growth hormone (HGH) is produced naturally in our bodies, especially during

deep or slow wave sleep.[6] Getting good, sound sleep will encourage the production of

HGH, which is created in the pituitary gland.

4 Understand that a majority of your height will be predetermined by genetics.Scientists

reckon that 60% to 80% of your height is determined by genes.[7]Unfortunately, either you have

the tall gene or you don't. That's not to say that you can't grow tall if you have parents who are

on the shorter side; it just means that having shorter parents means you're more likely to be on

the short side.

5Try not to stunt your growth. There might not be a lot you can do to increase your height, but

you can take several steps to make sure your natural height isn't shortened by environmental

influences. Drugs and alcohol are both thought to contribute to stunted growth if they're

ingested while you're young, and malnutrition can keep you from reaching your full height, as

well.

Does caffeine really stunt your growth? Scientific study shows that, no, caffeine does not

stunt growth.[8] Caffeine does, however, have a higher chance of keeping you from sleeping

soundly and regularly. Kids and adolescents needs about 9-10 hours of sleep, and caffeine may

hurt your ability to get that much sleep.

Does smoking really stunt your growth? The effects of smoking and second-hand smoke on

body mass index (BMI) are inconclusive. According to Columbia University's Internet Health

Resource, "Although the studies that have been done are largely inconclusive, the available

research suggests that children who smoke or who are exposed to second-hand smoke are

shorter than those who do not smoke or are children of non-smokers."[9]

Do steroids really stunt your growth? Absolutely. Anabolic steroids inhibit bone growth in

young children and teens, along with lowering sperm count, decreasing breast size, elevating

blood pressure and putting you at higher risk of heart attack.[10] Children and teens who suffer

from asthma and use inhalers that dispense small doses of the steroid budesonide are, on

average, half an inch shorter than those not treated with steroids.[11]

6Expect to be in your twenties when you stop growing. A lot of young kids look at

themselves and ask, "Have I finished growing yet?" If you're under 18, the answer is probably

"No!"[12] If you haven't stopped puberty yet, then you haven't stopped growing.[13]Try to be

thankful that you have a little time to grow taller instead of worrying about how tall you will be.

Method 2 of 2: Exaggerating Your Height

1Have a good posture. Always stand straight instead of hunching your back. Spread out your shoulders slightly towards the back. Having a good posture will make you look much taller!

2Wear tighter clothes. Tighter clothes accentuate the lines of your body. If you wear baggy clothes, those lines disappear, making you look smaller. Wear tight clothes that make you feel good about yourself, however, not ones you're nervous about wearing or uncomfortable in.

3Show the best features of your body. If you have long legs, wear shorts or mini-skirts to highlight your legs. Try to avoid wearing leg warmers or leggings which will visually shorten your legs and make you look shorter.

4Wear dark colored clothes. Sometimes, looking taller is all about looking slimmer. If you're able to look slimmer, there's a good chance you'll also look taller. Colors like black, dark blue, and forest green can all contribute to looking both slimmer and taller, especially if you go dark on both the top and the bottom.

5Wear clothing with vertical stripes. It makes you look taller. Horizontal stripes do the opposite.

Tips

Eat a lot of vegetables and fruits.

To get taller, stretch as far you can. Lay down on the floor and get a

massage. Massages relax your muscles, letting you get just a bit taller.

Don't diet if you haven't stopped growing. This can make you shorter.

Wear jeggings, yoga pants, leggings, or skinny jeans. Sweatpants and

loose jeans tend to make you look short.

Method 1 of 2: Making Yourself Appear Taller

1Go for medium or short hair. You may think that longer hair would make you look taller. But in fact, longer hair takes attention away from your neck and neckline, making you appear smaller. Instead, opt for short or medium length hair. These hairstyles will put the emphasis back on your neck; if you have a fairly tall neck, these hairstyles will be aces!

2Layer smartly. Layering your closes, believe it or not, can have an effect on how tall you look. Go for a v-neck over your tank top, for example, to elongate your chest and body. When you layer with dark colors, always put the dark color on the outside, as this is the color that people will remember.

Method 2 of 2: Getting Taller Naturally

1Adjust your posture. You may not realize the ways in which your posture is depriving you of height. A slight slumping of the shoulders, leaning forward of the head and neck, and habitually standing with your weight on one leg can all subtract from your height. Walk with a book on your head to train your body to keep your spine as erect as possible. Stand with your legs straight, and no further than hip width apart. Stick

your chin up a little. Not only will it add some extra height, but it'll also make you look more confident.

2Get more sleep. Did you know you only grow when you're asleep? Your body produces a hormone called HGH (or human growth hormone) while you sleep.[3] This hormone helps you develop muscle and actually grow taller. So if you're serious about getting taller, get serious about catching more Zs.

How much should you sleep? According to doctors:

School-age children should get between 10 and 11 hours of sleep.[4]

Teens and those just under 18 should get at least 9 to 10 hours of sleep.

3Eat right. A balanced diet filled with plenty of healthy nutrients will probably have an affect on how much you grow. That means staying away from the cakes, sodas, and pizzas and reaching for the salads, whole grains, and fish. If you're having trouble motivating yourself to eat these "yucky" foods, search for different recipes and look for combinations of food that you find naturally appealing.

Put lean protein into your diet. Lean protein includes white poultry meat (chicken breast),

fish, dairy, and soy products. Protein will help you gain muscle as well. A meal without protein

is a missed opportunity to get taller.

Put zinc into your body. Although the studies are far from conclusive, the scientific evidence

may point to a possible connection between zinc deficiencies and stunted growth.[5] That means

get your zinc or risk the possibility of stunting your growth.

Put calcium into your body. Again, there is little direct evidence between calcium and getting

taller, but calcium is an essential ingredient in helping you grow strong bones.[6] Strong bones

could mean taller bones.

Get enough vitamin D in your body. Vitamin D helps you grow stronger bones and promotes

muscle growth in children.[7] A deficiency of vitamin D has been linked to stunted growth and

even weight gain in teenage girls, a recent study has found.[8]

4Exercise. Whatever you do, take the time to exercise. Exercise is a powerful activity that can help you fight a long list of ailments. If you want to grow tall during your teen years especially, get in the habit of exercising your body. Exercising will force you to eat well, which is a staple of growing taller.

5Wait for time to make you taller. If you do all of the previous steps, there's a good chance that you've given your body the most you can give it to grow taller. Not everyone is going to be as tall as a basketball player or model. The flip side is that being tall isn't everything there is in life, and overcoming that physical and emotional hurdle might even help you in the long run.

Your growth plates fuse together at the end of puberty, which is when you stop growing.[1] When

you hit the end of puberty, you can by and large expect to stop growing.

Know that you can go through puberty and still not hit your growth spurt until the tail end of

puberty. Some people are "late bloomers" and only hit their big growth spurt when they turn 17,

18 or beyond.

If you are really concerned, see your pediatric endocrinologist. This doctor will be able to give

you valuable information about possible medical courses you may take in order to combat low

growth.

Tips

Keep your back straight and sleep as long as you can. You grow more when you're asleep. Just

wait for your growth spurt.

When sitting down try to keep your back straight.

Always maintain a good diet...life is short...no need to be worry about your height.

Don't stress about not being tall. Being tall isn't too important, just remember to always look your

best and not fake your real height!

GAIN MUSCLES FOR GIRLS

1Work out 3 to 5 times a week.

Join a local gym or create a workout area within your home. To gain muscle, you

will need traditional weight equipment such as dumbbells and barbells.

Go to the gym on a regular schedule. Working out 3 to 5 times a week gives your

body a chance to recuperate between workouts, especially when you're trying to

build muscle mass. If you're just starting out on a new exercise regimen, you

might want to start with 2 days and week and work up from that.

Give your muscles at least 48 hours of rest after you have worked them

according to this strategy. Your muscles become stronger during the rest period,

not while you are lifting.

2Train with heavy weights.

Choose a weight that you can perform 5 to 6 reps with per set. The exact weight

you choose will depend on your strength when starting.

Perform the main 3 weight training exercises regularly. These include bench

presses, dead lifts and squats.

Do 3 sets of 5 to 6 repetitions. You should rest for 2 to 3 minutes between each

set. If you're lifting correctly, you should need those 2 to 3 minutes to recuperate.

Don't worry about getting too bulky. Women just don't have the genes or the

hormones to bulk up without enormous effort and help from chemicals.

3Cut down the time you spend in the gym each day.

Keep the length of your workouts to a minimum. Try not to spend 2 hours in the

gym doing repetition after repetition. This can increase your endurance, but

building muscle mass requires short, hard workouts.

4Keep your focus in the gym mostly on weight training.

Add cardiovascular exercise into your workout plan sparingly. Cardio is effective

for losing body fat and increasing endurance and heart health, but it tends to tone

muscle rather than build it. Do not skip cardio exercise, but keep it 45 minutes

and under and perform it before you use weights.

Don't under-estimate the effectiveness of strength training to reduce body fat.

Cardio has its benefits, but strength training can often produce better and faster

results for fat loss

5Eat healthy.

Consume enough calories by taking into account how many you burn during your

workout. Women require between 1800 and 2000 calories per day to maintain

their health. If you are burning 300 to 500 calories during your workout, you need

to eat more throughout the day.

6Consume lots of protein and carbohydrates.

Eat protein-rich foods both before and after your weight-training workout. Protein

builds muscle mass; carbs give you energy and help the protein find your muscle

cells.

7Snack healthily throughout the day.

Eat well and often between larger meals. Snacking keeps your metabolism

going, allowing you to burn more calories when you're not working out.

8Push yourself to the limit in the gym.

Go as hard as you can every time. You won't build muscle, lose fat, or achieve

many fitness goals if you don't push yourself hard.

Consider using a personal trainer, even if it is only to help you make sure that

you are doing the right exercises and doing them properly. Once you have a

routine you can choose to workout on your own.

Tips

During sets, your last repetition should be nearly impossible for you to accomplish. You want

your muscles to be completely fatigued after a set. If they are not completely fatigued after 5 or

6 reps, you should increase your weight.

Find a workout partner who can push you in the gym. Working out as a team can produce

greater results than working out alone.

Whey protein shakes are a healthy post-workout meal that help build your muscle mass.

Part 1 of 3: Diet

1Increase your caloric intake. If you are currently consuming 2,000 calories a day, boost that to

about 2,500 calories. But make sure that you're eating clean, and are not eating too much.

2Get enough protein to support muscle growth. Aim for at least 1 to 2 grams of protein for

every pound of body weight. For example, if you weigh 180 pounds, take in at least 180 to 360

grams—or about 6 to 12 ounces—of protein every day.

1.

3Drink Enough Water. The body needs a sufficient amount of water to build muscle at an

optimal rate. Here's a great little formula to help make sure you are getting enough: Body weight

in pounds X 0.6 = Water Intake in ounces

2.

4Eat regularly. Rather than having two or three large meals during the day—something we've

grown up with—change your eating habits so that you are eating five or six smaller meals during

the day.

To help keep your protein intake high, one or two of those meals can be a protein shake. Here's

one example, though a quick Internet search will uncover hundreds of delicious protein shakes:

8 oz skim milk

1 banana

1 tbsp peanut butter

2 scoops of protein powder

3.

5Eat fat. That's right—not only does it make food taste good, fat is good for you, as long as you

are eating the right kinds and amounts of fat! Saturated fats—the fat you'll find in a stick of

butter, a bag of chips, or bacon (sad face allowed here)—should be limited to about 20 grams or

less. That's the bad news. The good news is that unsaturated fats are actually beneficial, even

necessary. Fat is necessary for the proper distribution of vitamins A, D, E, and K, helps promote

better eyesight, and healthy skin. Depending on your total caloric intake, 50 to 70 grams of

monounsaturated or polyunsaturated fat is beneficial for your training, and your overall general

health.

Monounsaturated fats can be found in olive, canola, and sesame oils; avocado; and nuts such

as almonds, cashews, peanuts, and pistachios.

Polyunsaturated fats are found in corn, cottonseed, and safflower oils; sunflower seeds and oils;

flaxseed and flaxseed oil; soybeans and soybean oil.

Omega-3 fats, an overall winner of a fat that is very beneficial to heart and blood health,

eyesight, and for children, brain development. You'll find this fat in many Omega-3-enriched

foods. Another great source is fatty cold-water fish such as salmon, tuna, trout, and sardines.

A good way to determine how much fat in grams you should be taking in is to multiply your

calorie intake by .001 for maximum trans-fats; by .008 for maximum saturated fats; and by .03

for the "good fats." For example, for a 2,500-calorie diet, you would limit trans-fats to 3 grams or

less, saturated fats to 20 grams or less, and up to 75 grams of mono and polyunsaturated fats.

4.

6Take your vitamins. In addition to a well-balanced diet, include a multivitamin supplement to

your dietary regimen. It will ensure that your body is getting the full amount of vitamins and

minerals it needs to stay healthy. There are many options, depending on your age, your sex,

and your particular health and diet needs. Find the one that's right for you, and make it part of

your daily routine.

Part 2 of 3: Exercise Guidelines

1.

1A good diet is required for your body to be able to maximize your potential, but there's

no potential at all until you start the process of tearing down your old muscles and

rebuilding them bigger, bulkier, and stronger. The best way to do that is to start at the

beginning.

2.

2Warm Up. Before you begin any exercise routine, whether it is a simple jog, or a 300 pound

dead-lift, start with a low intensity routine designed to warm up all the muscles you're about to

work on. Not only will it help you get into the right frame of mind, it can help prevent injuries.

You should never stretch a cold muscle. Research has shown that pre-workout stretching,

contrary to deeply-ingrained public opinion, does not prevent injury and may in fact result in

poorer performance. Stretching is best done following a workout.

3.

3Work harder but shorter. Training with high reps is good for building endurance, but it won't

help you build up either size or strength. Instead, aim for about 3-8 per muscle group, and 6-12

reps per set for your normal routine. Your final rep should be very hard to complete! If it's not,

increase the weight you're lifting.

Limit your overall training to about 45 minutes a day.

Every four to six weeks, vary your routine. As your body adapts to stress, you'll hit a plateau

where the benefits of weight training will begin to diminish. The only way to prevent this from

happening is to change things up, such as by increasing weight and changing exercises. Try a

week of really piling the weights on, and do two to four reps at the maximum weight you can

manage with proper form.

4.

4Work your whole body. You'll see maximum benefit when your entire body is part of the

routine. The more muscles you use when training, the more hormones you will produce

(including epinephrine and norepinephrine), which in turn stimulates muscle growth both while

you exercise and for the entire day.

Give all muscle groups equal attention, such as five sets of rows after five sets of bench

presses. This will encourage balanced training, growth, and flexibility.

Compound exercises such as squats, dead-lifts, presses, rows, and pull-ups use a lot of

different muscles.

You can work the entire body in each session, or divide your sessions between, for example,

the upper body one day, and the lower body the next.

Don't rush. Advanced lifters often base their routines around a technique calledexplosive

repetition. In other words, they lift a tremendous amount of weight in a short (explosive) amount

of time. There are significant benefits to this method, but the risk of injury in novice athletes is

high. It is recommended solely for more advanced athletes.

5.

5Limit your cardio training. While doing cardio is great for fat burning, it can limit muscle

growth by burning up glycogen and amino acids. If you must keep cardio as part of your fitness

plan, try sprint intervals: one minute at an all-out sprint, followed by two minutes of light jogging.

Do this for no more than a half an hour, three times a week. If you play sports, eat even more

food to make up for lost calories.

6.

6Get your rest. Your body needs time to recover, and to repair (build) your muscles, and to do

that you will need at least 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night. Avoid caffeine and alcohol for deeper

sleep.

In addition to the proper amount of sleep, do not overdo your training regimen. While you might

be tempted to think that "more is better," in fact the opposite is true. You can reach a point

known as "over-training," in which you'll lose the ability to "pump," (engorge the muscles with

oxygen-rich blood), and can even lead to muscle wasting—exactly the opposite of what you are

trying to achieve. Here are some symptoms to be aware of if you think you may be falling into

the over-training zone:

Chronic fatigue

Strength loss

Loss of appetite

Insomnia

Depression

Lowered sex drive

Chronic soreness

Prone to injury

To avoid over-training, set up a schedule that works for you and your goals. Here is an example

for a split routine that gives you plenty of time on to break down your muscles, and plenty of

time off to let them recover, even larger than before:

Day 1: Chest and biceps, followed by 30 minutes of high-intensity cardio.

Day 2: Legs, triceps, and abs, followed by 30 minutes of high-intensity cardio.

Day 3: Shoulders and back, followed by 30 minutes of high-intensity cardio.

Day 4: Chest, biceps, and abs.

Day 5 - Day 7, rest.

7.

7Lower your stress levels. Whether your stress comes from job, home, or just the way you're

wired, do what you can to reduce or eliminate it. It's not just good for you in general, but stress

increases the production of the hormone cortisol, a hormone that encourages your body to store

fat and burn muscle tissue.

Part 3 of 3: Specific Muscle Exercises

1.

1Target your pecs with chest exercises. The bench-press is the most dependable way to gain

chest muscle, although there are lots of different exercises for the chest.

Do push-ups. Combine push-ups with other chest exercises, or do them independently. Keep

your arms at shoulder-width when you lower yourself down. The closer your hands are to one

another, the more you'll work your triceps.

For the bench-press, start with a weight that you can lift comfortably. If you are a beginner, try

lifting the bar along with 5 lbs or 10 lbs on each side. With arms at shoulder-width apart, grab

onto the bar and slowly lower the bar until it's about to touch the bottom of your chest; push up

explosively until your arms are fully extended upwards. Do 8-10 repetitions (reps) like this for

three sets (3 x 8), adding additional weight each set.

Lift weights on the incline bench press. The incline is like the bench press, but the bench is

slightly elevated at about 40 degrees. Do 3 x 8. It will be harder to lift the bar on an incline, so

start out with less weight than you would on the bench-press.

2.

2Target your triceps with arm exercises. Dips are probably the most effective way to work

your triceps, which is the muscle beneath your biceps. You'll need to have strong triceps to

bench-press large amounts of weight.

To do dips, place your hands at shoulder-width apart on a bench, with your body and feet

stretched out in front of the bench. Slowly bend your elbows and lower your body down so that

your butt nearly touches the floor. Lift back up with your arms to starting position; repeat, doing

3 x 20.

Alternately, you can do a chest dip on a dip machine, grabbing hold of two beams, bending your

feet back off the ground, and lowering your body until your knees nearly touch the ground. Lift

back up with your arms until their are locked.

Do skull crushers. Lay down flat on a bench with a bar. Bend your elbows so that the bar is

about a couple inches from your forehead. Slowly push the bar up until your arms are fully

extended before bringing the weight back down. Keep your elbows close together. Repeat 3 x 8.

Do overhead dumbbell press. Take a dumbbell and carefully lift it over your head so that your

forearms, gripping the dumbbell, are horizontal behind you. Lift your forearms into vertical

position above your head, taking care not to hit your head with the dumbbell. Keep your elbows

close together. 3 x 8.

3.

3Target your biceps with arm exercises. Dumbbell arm curls are probably the most effective

way to improve strength in your biceps. As with all exercises, build muscle by steadily

increasing the weight you lift.

Do individual arm curls with dumbbells. Sit down on a bench and grab onto a dumbbell on the

ground, with your hand in between your thighs. Using your thigh as a fulcrum, lift the dumbbell

all the way to the upper chest by curling your arm upward. Switch to the opposite hand and

repeat. 3 x 8.

Do arm curls on a weighted bar. Standing up, grab hold of a weighted bar with both hands. Let

the arms extend all the way down to the thighs. Using only your arms, lift the weight up to your

chest by curling your arms upward. 3 x 8.

Do pull-ups. Jump onto or grab hold of a horizontal bar that is comfortably taller than you. Lift

your legs back so that you are hanging from the bar. With your hands shoulder-width apart, and

your palms facing toward you, lift your chin up to the bar using only your arms. 2 x 8.

4.

4Work your quads and hamstrings with squats. Squats are the go-to exercise for building

muscle in your legs. Here are three different kinds of squats that will work different parts of your

leg muscles.

Do standard squats with a weighted bar. Place enough weight on a 45 lb bar and rack it so that

it's a little lower than shoulder-height. Duck under the bar and come up so that the bar fits

comfortably between your shoulder blades. Your knees should be slightly bent. Lift the bar up

off the rack and move backwards one step. Your legs should be slightly wider than shoulder-

length.

Slowly bring the weight down by bending your knees. Keep your hips under the bar.

Arch your back slightly but keep your torso erect.

Bring your butt down as far as you can, keeping the tension on the leg muscles.

Exhale deeply and use your legs and hips, not your back, to lift out of the squat. 3 x 10.

Do front squats with a weighted bar. Rack a weighted bar at just-below shoulder-level. Come up

to the bar from the front, positioning the bar on the front shoulders. Cross your arms over onto

the bar and walk it out. Keeping your back straight, bend your legs into a squat, with your hips

under the bar. Explode upward and repeat. 3 x 10.

Do Belgian squats with a dumbbell. Hold out in front of your chest a dumbbell using both hands.

Standing in front of a bench, lift your right leg back so that it's parallel to the floor and resting

comfortably on the bench. Bend into a squat using the left leg, so that the right knee almost hits

the floor. Explode upward. 3 x 8. Repeat using opposite leg.

5.

5Target your abdominal muscles with crunches and core exercises. Your abs define the

muscles on your stomach, giving you that chiseled 6-pack look. There are a variety of exercises

that work out your abdominals. Here are a couple.

Do standard/oblique crunches. Lie down on a mat and position both arms behind your head

without locking the hands. Bend your knees so that your feet are flat on the ground. Pushing the

small of your back into the ground, slowly roll your shoulders off the ground only a couple of

inches (not all the way to your feet). Don't use your momentum to help you up; use slow,

regulated movements. Repeat 3 x 20.

For oblique crunches, tilt your torso to one side as you lift your shoulders off the ground.

Alternate sides after each crunch.

Do planks to work the abs and the core. Lie face-down on the floor. Lift yourself up so that your

body is still parallel to the floor, with your forearms (flat on the floor) and your toes supporting

your weight. Keep your body straight and hold your position for as long as possible.