Chapter Four Building High Self- Esteem. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights...

Chapter Four

Building High Self-Esteem

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 4 - 2

Chapter Preview: Building High Self-Esteem

• Define and discuss how it is developed

• Influences on human relations and success at work

• Characteristics of people with low and high self-esteem

• Role of mentors in professional life

• Ways individuals and organizations can raise self-esteem


Two Major Components

• Self-efficacy– Belief you can achieve what you set out to

do– Developed though experience of mastery

• success builds confidence to succeed in other areas

• Self-respect– What you think and feel about yourself– Self-respect likely earns respect from

others


Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect

• One’s appreciation of own worth and importance

• Experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and being worthy of happiness


Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect

• Character to be accountable for behaviors

• Acting responsibly toward others

• Confidence in ability to – think– understand– make decisions


How Self-Esteem Develops

• Self-concept– bundle of facts, opinions, beliefs, and

perceptions about yourself that are present in every moment of every day

– much is unconscious, yet continues to influence judgments, feelings, and behaviors


Childhood

• Experience early in life have a significant impact on one’s life and potential in later years

• Foundation of self-esteem in childhood emerges later in life– Emotional stability impacts self-esteem

• Defining negative experiences occur– Abusive or uncaring parent– Serious childhood accident


Total Person Insight

Feeling good about who you are and what you’ve here on earth to do—that is the real work of your life. And it’s ongoing. Each of us arrives with all we need to feel valued and unique, but slowly that gets chipped away.

Oprah WinfreyFounder and Editorial Director, O, The Oprah

Magazine


Adolescence

• Develop and consolidate feelings about yourself

• Age 12 to 18

• Changes and challenges– physical image– peer and social pressure– begin to assume adult responsibilities

• Role models are important


Adulthood

• Reinforced self-concept molded by past

• Adults tend to define themselves in terms of:– Things they possession– What they do for a living– Internal value system and emotional

makeup



How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and punish ourselves….Every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again.

Don Miguel Ruiz

Author, The Four Agreements


How Self-Esteem Influences Your Behavior

• Powerful influence on behavior– at work – in personal life

• Healthy self-esteem is – less vulnerable to negative views of others– more tolerant and respectful of others


Locus of Control

• Internal locus of control– Belief that one is largely responsible for

what happens

• External locus of control– Belief that life is almost totally controlled by

outside forces– Success is luck– Often rely on approval from others


Characteristics - Low Self-Esteem

• Tendency toward– External locus of control– Self-destructive behaviors– Poor human relations skills– Failure syndrome– Trouble with relationships – Being less productive


Characteristics - High Self-Esteem

• Future oriented

• Better able to cope with life’s challenges

• Feel emotions without letting them affect behavior in a negative way

• Less likely to take things personally

• Accept people as unique, talented individuals

• Exhibit self-confident behaviors


Building Self-Esteem

• Possible but difficult to change

• Difficult to determine source of personal doubt

• Difficult finding words to describe negative feelings

• Begins with desire to overcome low self-esteem

• Slow evolution


How to Build Self-Esteem

• Identify the source of low self-esteem:– Careful examination of defining moments in

life– Make list of labels others use to describe you– Determine which ones you’ve internalized



• Identify and accept your limitations:– Accept yourself for who you are now– Don’t demand perfection– Don’t dwell on the past– Learn to dislike behaviors rather than self-

condemnation



• Take responsibility for your decisions:– Making decisions helps you develop

confidence in your own judgment– Be willing to set goals – Accept the consequences of your

decisions



There is little understanding in our culture that being an adult is an ongoing process of learning and self-correcting: Life is always changing, revealing what was previously unknown and unplanned for.

Fran Cox and Louis Cox

Authors, A Conscious Life



• Develop expertise in some area:– Developing “expert power” builds self-

esteem – Use what you know to benefit yourself and

your company



• Seek the support and guidance of mentors:– A mentor helps you learn something that you

would otherwise not have learned as well or as quickly

– Effective tool used in organizations



• Tips for building a mentor relationship:– Having multiple mentors is best– A mentor should have the qualities of a

good coach– Market yourself to prospective mentors



• Set goals:– People who set goals maintain high self-

esteem– Make your goals realistic.– Picture yourself reaching the goal



• Visualize achievement of your goals:– To visualize means to form a mental image

of something– If you want to succeed, picture yourself

succeeding over and over


Goal Setting Principles

• Spend time reflecting on things you want to change in your life

• Develop a goal-setting plan that includes steps to achieve the goal

• Modify your environment by changing stimuli around you

• Monitor your behavior and reward progress



• Use positive self-talk:– Self-talk takes place silently in the privacy

of your mind– It is the personal conversations you have

with yourself– Your self-talk can dramatically affect your

behavior



• Create self-talk statements for each of your goals:– Be specific about the behavior you want to

change– Begin each statement with a first-person

pronoun– Describe the results you want to achieve


Figure 4.1

Figure 4.1Self-Esteem Cycles


Organizations Can Help

• Low self-esteem often means poor performance

• Organizations realizing importance of their role in developing self-esteem


Factors That EnhanceThe Self-Esteem ofEmployees


Organizations Can…

• Value and accommodate each unique individual

• Recognize accomplishments• Use well-designed training programs• Clarify expectations and provide

feedback• Keep employees well informed• Encourage the use of employees’ ideas• Emphasize teamwork


Summary

• Self-esteem is a combination of self-respect and self-efficacy– Feeling competent and worthy

• Self-esteem is the foundation for a successful personal life


Summary

• Self-esteem is– acquired and built from birth– influenced by parents, friends, associates,

and the media


Summary

• People with high self-esteem tend to – be future oriented– cope with problems creatively, handle their

emotions, and give as well as receive help– accept others as unique talented

individuals– exhibit self-confident behaviors


Summary

• To build high self-esteem individuals must– accept the past– build for the future– accept their limitations– develop expertise in some area– make decisions and live with the

consequences


Summary

• Set goals by – visualizing the person they want to be– monitoring self-talk

• Organizations now realize the need for help in building self-esteem in their employees


Summary

• Organizations can– offer training sessions– give better feedback and statements of

expectations– offer greater respect for the individual in

the workplace– foster teamwork

Chapter Four Building High Self- Esteem. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights...

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