CHAPTER 12Interpersonal Relations: Relationships and Work

Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship

Propinquity (physical proximity) and familiarity Attractive features

Intelligence, personality, looks, talent, possessions The “what is beautiful is good” stereotype The “beauty is on the inside” effect The pay advantage of physical attractiveness The matching hypothesis in partner selection

Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship

Propinquity (physical proximity) and familiarity Attractive features

Intelligence, personality, looks, talent, possessions The “what is beautiful is good” stereotype The “beauty is on the inside” effect The pay advantage of physical attractiveness The matching hypothesis in partner selection

Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship

Similarity and interpersonal attraction Assortative mating on age, race, religious affiliation,

SES, education, interests, sexual attitudes, background, and some personality traits

Do opposites attract? The complementarity notion: Examples of when opposites (usually) don’t attract:

introversion/extraversion, sensation seeking, sociosexuality

Examples of when opposites (rarely) do attract: neuroticism, sadism/masochism

Love: different theoretical perspectives

Reinforcement-affect model: Byrne and Clore Exchange versus communal relationships: Clark

and Mills Short-term equity is important in exchange relationships Only long-term equity is important in communal

relationships Liking versus loving (Z. Rubin): strong need for

affiliation, desire to help and benefit the other, sense of exclusiveness—and passion?

Love: different theoretical perspectives

Passionate love: appropriate and desirable love object, beliefs and expectations about love, heightened level of emotional arousal (example: The Dutton and Aron scary bridge study)

When love turns to anger: the arousal re-attribution hypothesis

From passionate love to companionate love An integrative perspective: Sternberg’s love

dimensions (passion, intimacy, decision/commitment)

Passionate love: a three-factor model

Presence of an appropriate and

attractive individual

Cultural beliefs and expectations

about love

Physiological arousal that is

interpreted and labeled as love

Passionate

Love

Walk on the high suspension bridge

Height induces fast heart rate

Encounter the attractive woman

High heart rate seems to indicate attraction

60% use the number and call her back

Walk on the low stable bridge

Heart rate is normal, not elevated

Encounter the attractive woman

No heightened arousal to misattribute as attraction to her

Only 30% use her number to call her back

Dutton and Aron’s (1974) Two Bridges study

Love: different theoretical perspectives

Passionate love: appropriate and desirable love object, beliefs and expectations about love, heightened level of emotional arousal (example: The Dutton and Aron scary bridge study)

When love turns to anger: the arousal re-attribution hypothesis

From passionate love to companionate love An integrative perspective: Sternberg’s love

dimensions (passion, intimacy, decision/commitment)

Love: Sternberg’s (1987) perspective

Love Components

Type of Love Passion Intimacy Commitment

Liking No Yes No

Infatuation Yes No No

Romantic Yes Yes No

Companionate No Yes Yes

Consummate Yes Yes Yes

Romance in the workplace

Office romances The proximity factor and assortative mating Trading attributes: youth and beauty for education,

status, resources, age Mixed motives: love motivation, ego motivation, job

motivation Romance and job performance: plusses and

minuses Guidelines for handling workplace romance

Job romance: three basic motives

Partners Motives Relationship Frequency

Male

Female

Love, ego

Love, ego

Passionate love 36%

Male

Female

Love

Love

Companionate love 23%

Male

Female

Ego

Ego

Fling 19%

Male

Female

Ego, job

Love, job

Male-dominated

utilitarian

8%

Male

Female

Ego

Ego, job

Female-dominated

utilitarian

14%

Romance in the workplace

Office romances The proximity factor Trading attributes: youth and beauty for education,

status, resources, age Mixed motives: love motivation, ego motivation, job

motivation Romance and job performance: plusses and

minuses Guidelines for handling workplace romance

Romance in the workplace Sexual harassment

Five categories: gender harassment, seductive behaviors, sexual bribery, sexual coercion, sexual assault

Factors that inhibit reporting: confusing social norms, giving the offender the benefit of the doubt, desire for social acceptance, ease of ignoring minor infractions

Consequences of sexual harassment: low job satisfaction, psychological problems, health problems, absenteeism, desire to leave the job

Romance in the workplace Sexual harassment

The organizational climate: the gender context, the tolerance context (ambient sexual harassment)

Dealing with sexual harassment: about 75% of companies have a written policy. Typical outcomes: 80% reprimand, 20% firing

Clear policy statement, procedures for filing and acting on complaints, procedures to protect privacy and confidentiality, use of third-parties, procedures for fact finding and action, counseling, prevention

Work and family relationships Dual career couples

Distribution of household chores Stress, mental and physical health concerns, daycare, guilt Job sharing

Marital status and quality of life: married couples versus singles

Social support, mutual monitoring of health concerns More stable lives with fewer risks Less loneliness Exceptions: distressed marriages, extreme lifestyles, unusual

job demands

Work and family relationships Single parents: extra demands

About 6% of the workforce are single parents Extra demands: divorced or widowed status, reduced

income, added responsibilities and stress, lack of social support, time constraints, child care issues

Solutions: after-school programs, single-partner support groups, flex time, telecommuting, job sharing

Work and home: the spillover effect

Aggression at work: destructive relationships

Homicides are the number-one cause of traumatic death at work (jealous husbands, disgruntled employees, rapes, theft). About 15% of all violent crime occurs in the workplace.

The causes of violence: frustration, failure to achieve a desired goal, stress, personal conflicts, anger and hostility

Need to appraise the situation Need to evaluate one’s options Talking things out Eliminating injustice in the workplace Bosses from heaven Anger management training

Aggression at work: destructive relationships

Personal characteristics and violence The cultural socialization of males History of violence and “acting out” Emotional reactivity (volatility) Poor impulse control Alcohol and drug use Low level of mental development

Aggression at work: destructive relationships

Controlling violence “Venting” (i.e., catharsis) usually doesn’t work Screening for aggressive tendencies Training in handling interpersonal conflicts Developing perceptions of justice Reducing emotionality Producing incompatible responses Dealing with the causes of the anger Applying person-oriented leadership