Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal Conflicts Presentation prepared by Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen...

Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal Conflicts

Presentation prepared by Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen Gill, and Tim

Scanlon of West Chester University

PowerPoint Presentation to accompany Looking Out, Looking In, Tenth Edition

Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Thomson Learning™ is a trademark used herein under license.

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Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.


CHAPTER 10

ManagingManagingInterpersonal ConflictsInterpersonal Conflicts


ManagingManagingInterpersonal ConflictsInterpersonal Conflicts

• The Nature of Conflict• Personal Conflict Styles• Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear

Message Format• Conflict in Relational Systems• Variables in Conflict Styles• Methods of Conflict Resolution• Win-Win Communication Skills• Constructive Conflict: Questions and

Answers


The Nature of Conflict

Conflict is defined as an expressed struggle between two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.

• Expressed Struggle• Perceived Incompatible Goals• Perceived Scarce Rewards• Interdependence• Interference from the Other Party

Conflict Defined



No matter how close you are to somebody, there will be times when your ideas or actions or needs won’t match those of others around you.

Conflict is Natural



Effective communication during conflict can keep good relationships strong. People who work through their conflicts using constructive skills are more satisfied with their relationships and with the outcomes of their conflicts.

Conflict Can be Beneficial


Personal Conflict Styles

Nonassertion - the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict

• Avoidance: physical or conversational, steering clear of conflict

• Accommodation: giving in; putting other’s needs ahead of your own

Nonassertive Behavior

Direct Aggression – expressing a criticism or demand thatthreatens the face of the person at whom it is directed.

Direct Aggression



Passive Aggression - occurs when a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure way; “crazymaking”

Passive Aggression

Indirect Communication - a roundabout way of expressing wants or needs in order to save face for the recipient.

Indirect Communication



Assertion - a clear and direct expression of the sender’s needs, thoughts, or feelings, without judging or dictating to others.

Assertion

Factors to consider :1) The Relationship2) The Situation3) The Receiver4) Your Goals

Which Style is Best ?


Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format

Behavioral Description - an account that refers only toobservable phenomena; behavioral description should be objective, describing an event without interpreting it

Behavior

Interpretation - the process of attaching meaning tobehavior; there can be more than one interpretation attached to a behavior

Interpretation



Feeling – an expression of the emotion you are experiencing as a result of the other person’s behavior

Feeling

A consequence statement explains what happens as a result of the behavior you have described, your interpretation, the ensuing feeling, or all three.

Consequence

Three types of consequences:• what happens to you, the speaker• what happens to the person you’re addressing• what happens to others



Intention Statements can communicate three kinds of messages:

1) a description of where you stand on an issue

2) requests of others

3) descriptions of how you plan to act in the future.

Intention



Behavior-interpretation-feeling-consequences-intention

format :

1) The elements may be delivered in mixed order.

2) Word the message to suit your personal style.

3) When appropriate combine two elements in a

single phrase.

4) Take your time delivering the message.

Using the Clear Message Format


Conflict in Relational Systems

Relational Conflict Style - a pattern of managing disagreements that develops in a long-term relationship.



Complementary Conflict Style - partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors

Symmetrical Conflict Style - both parties use the same behaviors

Parallel Conflict Style - shifts between complementary and symmetrical patterns from one issue to another

Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles



Nonintimate-Aggressive

Nonintimate-Nonaggressive

Intimate-Aggressive

Intimate-Nonaggressive

Intimate and Aggressive Styles

Conflict Ritual – unacknowledged but very real patterns of interlocking behavior

Conflict Rituals


Variables in Conflict Styles

Men and women approach conflict differently.

Gender

The way in which people manage conflict varies tremendously depending on their cultural background.

Culture


Methods of Conflict Resolution

Win-lose Problem Solving – one party gets what he or she wants and the other party comes up short

Win-Lose

Lose-lose Problem Solving – neither side is satisfied with the outcome

Lose-Lose


Methods of Conflict Resolution

Compromise – gives both parties at least some of what they wanted, though both sacrifice part of their goals.

Compromise

Win-win problem solving is an approach to conflict resolution in which the parties work together to satisfy all of their needs and goals.

Win-Win


Win-Win Communication Skills

1) Identify Your Problem and Unmet Needs

2) Make a Date

3) Describe Your Problem and Needs

4) Consider Your Partner’s Point of View

5) Negotiate a Solution

6) Follow Up the Solution


Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers

Mutual benefit is not only desirable—it works. Good intentions and creative thinking can lead to outcomes that satisfy everyone’s needs.

Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Good to be True?

The win-win approach is detailed and highly structured,but you will not use every step when resolving conflict in everyday life.

Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Elaborate?



It may be the most sensible, and sometimes it may be impossible to be rational. In these situations, let your frustrations out, but be sure your partner understands what you’re doing and that what ever you say doesn’t call for a response.

Isn’t Win-Win Negotiating Too Rational?



Show that it’s in your partner’s self-interest to work together with you, projecting both the favorable consequences of cooperating and the unfavorable consequences of competing. Also, you can boost the odds of getting your partner to cooperate by modeling the communication skills described in the book.

Is it Possible to Change Others?

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