Chapter 10:Adult Relationships

Friendships

Adult Process• acquaintanceship• buildup• continuation• deterioration• ending

Friendship Themes

Affective Basis• self-disclosure• intimacy• appreciation• affection• support *Based on trust, loyalty, commitment*

Shared or communal nature Sociability - Compatibility

Gender Differences

Women more intimate more emotional

sharing confide in others

Men more shared

interests more competitive competition

emphasizes social interaction rather than outcome

less intimate

Cross-Gender Friendships

May explore opposite gender’s tasks or skills

Men may try to sexualize cross gender relationships

Women may be offended at this Decrease after marriage for men Increase with age for women

Love Relationships

Liking I Infatuation P Empty Love C Romantic Love PI Fatuous Love P Companionate Love IC Consommate Love PIC

Falling in Love

Assortative Mating

Similarity

Murstein’s Theory on Falling in Love

Stimulus: Appearance complementary?

Values: Sex - Religion - Politics - Match?

Role: Relationship Communication Style Gender Role Match?

Dark Side

Verbal Physical SevereAggression Aggression AggressionInsults Pushing BeatingSarcasm Shaking PunchingYelling Slapping Hitting w/Name Shoving object calling Bruising Bondage = MURDER

Causes of Verbal Aggression

Need to control

Misuse of power

Jealousy

Family discord

Causes of Physical Aggression

All of # 1 Causes plus … Accept violence as a means of

control Modeling of physical aggression Abused as child Aggressive personality style Alcohol abuse

Causes of Severe Aggression

All of # 1 and # 2 plus … Personality D/O’s Emotional lability Poor self esteem

*Contributing factors: job stress and unemployment

*Battered Woman Syndrome

Relationships

Single hood Cohabitation Gay and Lesbian couples Marriage

• early years• midlife• older couples

Keeping Marriage Happy

Make time for each other Express love Be there in times of need Communicate positively + constructively Be interested in spouse’s life Confide in spouse Forgive minor offenses Try to understand major offenses

Family Life Cycle Changes

Nuclear Family Extended Family Family Life Cycle (Weakness - ignores child

free relationships) Should we have children? Parental Role Single Parents Divorce - Why?

Effects on Couple

Effects on young children

Effects on adult children

Remarriage