1. We are supposed to wear no HAT right now of our roles played in our company & yet stay

connected.

2. During the workshop, we request no cross talking & interactions with except the trainer.

3. Whenever we are discussing any particular Concept or Behaviour; all of us are requested to

stay on the same subject & not move their concentration on another concept or behaviour.

4. Kindly keep your mobile phones switched off or on SILENT mode during the workshop.

5. There are no “WRONG QUESTIONS” in the world. You can ask as many questions as you

want from the TRAINER but during the breaks so that we maximize the learning time.

6. This workshop is not to point fingers or question any one of us & yet it aims to questions the

way we do things in simplest example terms. Its aimed at INTROSPECTION & SELF –

INVESTIGATION.

7. The workshop is inter-active (NOT BRAINSTORMING) & you can stop the TRAINER anytime

to request any point which you want to be explained further. However, to discuss details we

request you to discuss the same anytime during BREAKS or during DINNER time.

6. All suggestions on Contents, Overview, Usage are welcome to the TRAINER on email.

PARADIGMS• DEEP ROOTED – CONDITIONING

• A FIXED (RIGID) PATTERN of THINKING, FEELING & DOING

PARADIGM SHIFT• In 1962, Thomas Kuhn fathered, defined and popularized the

concept of "paradigm shift".

• Think of a Paradigm Shift as a change from one way of thinking to another.

• It's a revolution, a complete transformation.

• It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change.

STATUS QUOSTATUS QUO

De-Mystifying ParadigmsDe-Mystifying ParadigmsAll Paradigms comprises of the following 4 Strong Ps:-

1. PEOPLE – PARENTS, PEERS, TEAM, TEACHERS, GUIDE etc.2. PROFESSION – WORK CULTURE, ORGANIZATION (N YEARS)3. PHILOSPHY – VALUE SYSTEM, BELIEFS & FAITH etc. 4. PERCEPTION – CULTURE, UP-BRINGING, SITUATION etc.

1. There are no perfect PARDIGMS. PARADIGMS can’t be perfect. If they are GROWTH will stop. It has to always be about progress & continuous change.

2. Any individual after “N” years of conditioning becomes arrogant about his/ her RIGHTS & WRONGS. This can be the beginning of “GROSSLY GROSSLY MISSING” on what they obviously need to CORRECT.

3. Every Individual be it a SENIOR LEADER or a MANAGER or a SUPERVISOR must allow questioning their PARADIGMS after “N” years.

4. The N has to be decided based upon their PERFORMANCE/ RESULTS Versus AMBITIONS/ INSIRATION.

5. The Higher the Individual would be in his/ her career, the tougher the challenge of PARADIGMS.

How is a paradigmformed?

A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas

on the top.on the top.

Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with

cold water. cold water.

After a while, every time a monkey went up the After a while, every time a monkey went up the ladder, the others beat up the one on the ladder, the others beat up the one on the

ladder.ladder.

After some time, no monkey dare to go up After some time, no monkey dare to go up the ladder regardless of the temptation.the ladder regardless of the temptation.

Scientists then decided to substitute one of the Scientists then decided to substitute one of the monkeys. The 1monkeys. The 1stst thing this new monkey did was to thing this new monkey did was to go up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys go up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys beat him up.beat him up.

After several beatings, the new member learned not to climb the ladder even though never knew why.

A 2nd monkey was substituted and the same occurred. The 1st monkey participated on the beating for the 2nd

monkey. A 3rd monkey was changed and the same was repeated (beating). The 4th was substituted and the beating was repeated and finally the 5th monkey was

replaced.

What was left was a group of 5 monkeys that even though never received a cold shower,

continued to beat up any monkey who attempted to climb the ladder.

If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they would beat up all those who attempted to go up the ladder…..

I bet you the answer would be….

“I don’t know – that’s how things are done around here”

Does it sounds familiar?

"Only two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity. And I am not so sure about the former."

Albert Einstein

Individual paradigm

formation?

ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – IDEAL SITUATIONIDEAL SITUATION

ASPIRATIONASPIRATION–– THE BIG PICTURETHE BIG PICTURE

ATTIUDE ATTIUDE BALL BALL ––

The The Enabler or Enabler or The EnemyThe Enemy

1.1. ATTITUDE & ASPIRATION ATTITUDE & ASPIRATION –– EXTREME SYNERGY. EXTREME SYNERGY.2.2. Enables actions to accomplish VISION.Enables actions to accomplish VISION.3.3. PERFORMANCE is ABOVE AVERAGE to EXCEPTIONAL. PERFORMANCE is ABOVE AVERAGE to EXCEPTIONAL. 4.4. The Person is ALIGNED with ASPIRATION. The Person is ALIGNED with ASPIRATION. 5.5. ATTITUDE ensures a perfect alignment in PERFORMANCE & ASPIRATIONS.ATTITUDE ensures a perfect alignment in PERFORMANCE & ASPIRATIONS.6.6. An individual bound to succeed with his/ her ASPIRATION.An individual bound to succeed with his/ her ASPIRATION.

ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE – CHALLENGE SITUATIONCHALLENGE SITUATIONASPIRATION ASPIRATION ––

THE BIG THE BIG PICTUREPICTURE

ATTITUDE ATTITUDE –– The The

Enabler or Enabler or The EnemyThe Enemy

ASPIRATION ASPIRATION –– THE TWISTED THE TWISTED

& & COMPRESSED COMPRESSED

PICTUREPICTURE

1.1. ASPIRATION & ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE ATTITUDE –– LITTLE LITTLE or NO SYNERGY.or NO SYNERGY.

2.2. ATTITUDE disables ATTITUDE disables actions to actions to accomplish accomplish ASPIRATION.ASPIRATION.

3.3. PERFORMANCE is PERFORMANCE is BELOW AVERAGE BELOW AVERAGE to ABOVE to ABOVE AVERAGE. AVERAGE.

4.4. ATTITUDE disrupts ATTITUDE disrupts alignment in alignment in PERFORMANCE & PERFORMANCE & RESULTS.RESULTS.

5.5. An individual bound An individual bound to fail with his her to fail with his her ASPIRATION.ASPIRATION.

CHALLENGE - PARADIGMS

Hearing

Seeing

Smell

Touch

Taste

Non-verbalWe learn :-

* By touch -1.5% * By taste - 1.0% * By Smell - 3.5% * By hearing - 7.0% * By Sight - 87%

What Do you See?

Seeing is not believing every-time?

TOTAL COMMUNICATION PROCESS

Reading16%

Writing9% Speaking

30%

Listening45%

How the LISTENER infers you on what is being said?

• 7% WORDS–Words are only labels and the listeners put their

own interpretation on speakers words

• 38% PARALINGUISTIC–The way in which something is said - the accent,

tone, dressing sense, perceptions, tone and voice modulation is important to the listener.

• 55% BODY LANGUAGE–Speaker’s usage of the body parts while

delivering a message affects the listener’s understanding the most & at the highest level.

The Art of Listening

Fast Facts

• We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm

• 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful

• 20% of the time, we remember what we hear• More than 35% of businesses think listening

is a top skill for success• Less than 2% of people have had formal

education with listening

Spread of your Average Mode of Communication in a Day

Mode of Communication

Percentage of Time Used

Formal Years

of Training

Writing 9% 12 years

Reading 16 % 6-8 years

Speaking 30% 1-2 years

Listening 45% 0-few hours

5 Basic reasons we Do Not Listen

• Listening is Hard Work

• Competition

• The Rush for Action

• Speed differences

• Lack of Training

Hearing = physiological Listening = psychological

4 Types of Listeners

• The Non-Listener

• The Marginal Listener

• The Evaluative Listener

• The Active Listener

Active Listening (4 Steps)

1. Listen

2. Question

3. Reflect-Paraphrase

4. Agree/ Dis-Agree (Negotiate – Win-Win) – LATERAL LATERAL THINKING is THINKING is POSSIBLEPOSSIBLE

Step 1: Listen

• To Feelings As Well As Words– Words – Emotions -- Implications

• Focus on Speaker– Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted

• What Is Speaker Talking About?– Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?

• Look At Speaker• Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

Step 2: Question

• 3 Purposes– Demonstrates you are listening– Gather information– Clarification

• Open-ended– Tell me more?– How did you feel?– Then what happened?

Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase

• Reflect What Is Said (In your words)

• Reflect Feelings

• Reframe– Capture the essence of the communication– Remove negative framing– Move toward problem solving

Step 4: Agree

• Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing

• Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!

• Solution Is Near!

The Power of Listening

                         ACTIVE LISTENING & LATERAL THINKING ABILITY ACTIVE LISTENING & LATERAL THINKING ABILITY

TIME FOR A TEST!!!!TIME FOR A TEST!!!!

Activity

• Speaker – talk for 2 min.

• Listener – listen using the skills we’ve discussed

• Observer – observe the application of the skills and take notes

Obstacles to Listening• Selective Listening –

– Pay attention to interests – Sort info on basis of what already know -

schemata• External Obstacles

– Overload, complexity, noise

• Internal Obstacles – Preoccupation, prejudgment, lack of effort, not

recognizing diverse listening styles • Non- listening

TYPES OF BODY LANGUAGERemember that you are dealing with “PEOPLE”

• (P)OSTURES & GESTURES– How do you use hand gestures? Stance?

• (E)YE CONTACT– How’s your “Lighthouse”?

• (O)RIENTATION– How do you position yourself?

• (P)RESENTATION– How do you deliver your message?

• (L)OOKS– Are your looks, appearance, dress important?

• (E)XPRESSIONS OF EMOTION– Are you using eye movements/ facial expressions/ hand

movements to express emotion?

PowerPower

“Everyone is a mirror image of yourself—your own thinking coming back to you”                                                                                                                                                                       - Byron Katie

Home

Understanding capacities and competencies

Competency

PotentialCapacity

Capacity = Demonstrated competencies + Unrealized potential

The four fundamental capacities are learning, thinking, relating and acting

Capacity of Thinking (IQ) Capacity to think comprises of analysis, creativity & innovation and a combination of both i.e. judgment

Analysis is about asking the right

questions and breaking complex things into

simpler things

Judgment requires a combination of both, this is what helps us take quality

decisions

Creativity and Innovation is about

generating new thoughts and breaking the existing

patterns of thought

Capacity Of Relating (EQ)The capacity to relate requires the ability to

empathize, the ability to listen with warmth and respect, and a combination of both i.e, the capacity to build trust

Ability to Listen with warmth and respect.

Active listening is free of biases,evaluation and pre-conceived notions Trust requires a combination of both

empathizing and listening. It’s about authenticity, openness and genuineness

Empathizing is the ability to put

oneself in someone else’s shoes(by

getting out of our own shoes)

Capacity of Actions (Doing)The capacity to act is about organizing one’s time and resources so that we convert our intentions into reality (planning)

Organizing one’s time and resources so that we convert our intentions into reality

Working under pressure and time constraints and the ability to handle multiple tasks without negative stress

delegation,attention to detail and focus on the right process build capacity to implement

Capacity of Learning or Being (SQ)

This capacity consists of three dimensions, namely introspection, reflection & contemplation and flow.

Willingness to look back and learn; ability to learn

from mistakes and identify areas of

improvement

Observing one’s own thoughts, actions and emotions/feelings and using the awareness to

improve further and perform better

Ability to get into a new experience with an open mind and flow with the

experience. The child like ability to derive joy out of learning

Change is permanent

PARADIGMS are CHALLENGED when:-

1. There is a a life changing event

2. The CONDITIONING is QUESTIONED

3. There is a STRUGGLE

• CATERPILLAR – BUTTERFLY

• BEETHOVEN – MUSIC

4. Create a Mis-Match by Design - Aspirations

are ahead of Resources

5. There is INTERNAL MOTIVATION

“Remember, training is not what is ultimately important…

Change is.”Change is.”

ARE YOU CHANGE READY!!!ARE YOU CHANGE READY!!!

TIME FOR ANOTHER TEST!!!!TIME FOR ANOTHER TEST!!!!

1

4

3

2

Incompetence

Incompetence

Competence

Competence

Unconscious

Unconscious

Conscious

Conscious

HABIT & CULTURE

Conscious

Awareness

Patience +

Continued Practice

LEVELS OF LEARNING (Individual & Organizational) 

SHIFTSHIFT

What do you see ?

CREATING MAGIC THROUGH SYNERGY

Paradigm Shift – The Process

CHANGECHANGEWhat is next for me?What is next for me?

Coaching & FeedbackHow am I doing?

Awareness & PlanningWhat is expected of me post CHANGE?

Assessment

How did I do?

Development PlanningWhat should I develop?

Recognition & Appreciation orCriticism – Learn & Un-LearnHave I understood CHANGE?

Home

Denial/ Denial/ ResistanceResistance

Politics/ Attempt to Politics/ Attempt to De-Rail ChangeDe-Rail Change

Gossip/ Gossip/ RumoursRumours

Reactions/ Reactions/ Emotional Emotional OutburstsOutbursts

OpenOpen BlindBlind

HiddenHidden UnknownUnknown

Known to SelfKnown to Self Not Known to SelfNot Known to Self

Known Known to Othersto Others

Not Not Known Known to Othersto Others

JOHARI WINDOW - Blind & Hidden Areas are your enemies

THE ICEBERG

HOW MUCH DO YOU SEE OF AN ICEBERG?

THE ICEBERG

ONLY 10% OF ANY ICEBERG IS VISIBLE. THE REMAINING 90% IS BELOW SEA LEVEL.

THE ICEBERG

SEA LEVEL

10 %

90 %

VISIBLEABOVE SEA LEVEL

INVISIBLEBELOW SEA LEVEL

• The Iceberg phenomena is directly applicable to us human beings …

THE ICEBERG

THE ICEBERG

SEA LEVEL

KNOWLEDGE&

SKILLS

ATTITUDE

UNKNOWN to UNKNOWN to

OTHERS & OTHERS &

Sometimes to SELFSometimes to SELF

KNOWN KNOWN TO OTHERS & SELFTO OTHERS & SELF

• In other words,

THE ICEBERG

THE ICEBERG

SEA LEVEL

BEHAVIOR

VALUES – STANDARDS – JUDGMENTS

ATTITUDEMOTIVES – ETHICS - BELIEFS

KNOWN KNOWN TO OTHERS & SELFTO OTHERS & SELF

UNKNOWN to UNKNOWN to

OTHERS & OTHERS &

sometimes to SELFsometimes to SELF

Don’t Forget - JOHARI WINDOW

Open Blind

Hidden Unknown

Known to SelfKnown to Self Not Known to SelfNot Known to Self

Known Known to to OthersOthers

Not Not Known Known to to OthersOthers

HomeHome

YOU CAN BE A LEADER

Ir-respective of:-

1.Zero Team2.Your Age3.Your Grade/ Level4.Your Experience5.Your In-Experience6.Your Designation

Leadership Qualities1. Never say “I Quit”• Do you have the ability to persist & persevere?• Do you have the courage to withstand all failures & roadblocks? • Would you in a crisis - Step up, Rise and defeat the crisis?

2. Build Team (People who will stand together during good or bad times)

• Getting people to work together can be done by anyone. • To make them work as a team is what matters in any game of life – profession or sport or

anywhere with people at the backdrop. • Building a team is no cake walk & certainly not the easiest of goals. It requires a leader to

take risks. Risk of personal sacrifice & doing the un-done & thinking the un-thinkable. • Team Building requires taking risks & the first principle of leadership is making different

people un-like each other work as a unit, as a family as a cohesive force called as a “Team”.

Leadership Qualities3. Raise the bar – Forever

– Who said there is something called as a TARGET/ GOAL?

– Once you reach a goal, it doesn’t mean “The End”, it just means a milestone is finished but then that’s not all.

– After a goal, you can enjoy, reflect, learn, un-learn & move on to set another goal.

– The pursuit of perfection is not in its attainment but in the journey

4. Stand by your convictions

• Leadership is not always about consensus.

• It is also about suspending popular judgments for a strong personal vision.

• It is about standing up for the belief you strongly possess & recognizing the talent within the un-explored facets of your team.

• It is about doing the right thing even when the consensus is against the same.

Leadership Qualities

5. Leadership is more about “Pull”“Pull” than “Push”“Push” • Are you able to respond with Patience to aggressive behavior?

• Is your usual approach to aggression - more responsive aggression?

• Do you think you can always get work done only by pushing people?

• Metaphor of Push Versus Pull – Volunteers Please!!!

6. Leadership’s most critical aspect - Problem Solving Ability– Do you find PROBLEMS or do you look for SOLUTIONS?– Do you look for ALTERNATIVES when blocked by any issues or wait

for seniors to act?

Leadership Qualities7. Have Faith in people & Believe in them– Surprisingly, everyone of us has a small child hidden inside. – Everyone of us likes to be acknowledged, recognized, appreciated &

loved for. – You’d be pleasantly surprised with what your people can do for you if

you have faith in them. – A good leader doesn’t get in-secure if his/ her team member is

appreciated.– People don’t leave us for money, they find money as the reason when

we don’t give them anything else in abundance.– The anything else is care, appreciation, acknowledgement,

recognition & support.

Leadership Qualities8. Passion– Are you Passionate about something?– Are you really in touch with your SPIRIT,

THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & ACTIONS?

Home

Before we move ahead please note that:

• IQ means intelligence quotient

• EQ means emotional quotient

• EI means emotional intelligence

Emotions And Their Blends:• Anger: fury, outrage, resentment, annoyance,

hostility.• Love: acceptance, friendliness, trust, kindness,

infatuation.• Shame: guilt, remorse, humiliation, regret.• Fear: anxiety, nervousness, apprehension,

terror.• Enjoyment: happiness, joy, relief, contentment,

pleasure.• Sadness: Grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom.• Surprise: Shock, astonishment, amazement

wonder.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS: -

1. OUR CAPACITY TO RECOGNIZE OUR OWN FEELINGS FOR OTHERS

2. AND HOW WE MANAGE OUR OWN FEELINGS WITHIN OUR SELF

Are we giving EQ education in schools /collegesAre we giving EQ education in schools /colleges

• NO. Our educational system gives stress on IQ and not on EQ. We are taught History, Hindi, English, Geography, Physics, anthropology, Botany, Computers, Medicine, Engineering etc.

• We are NOT TAUGHT how to handle frustration, anxieties, stress, failure, depression, burnout, inferiority complexes, ego problems

• We are not told to learn how to manage emotions i.e.; interaction, coordination, Adjustment, communication

WE ARE EXPECTED TO LEARN ALL THESE FROM OUR PARENTS, PEER GROUP OF OTHER ROLE MODELS who in turn might themselves have

EQ as a major challenge of their PERSONALITY

At the later stages of our lives we are told to master emotional competencies to be SUCCESSFUL.

We are not taught how to fight Recession, Job Loss, Death, Depression, De-Motivation, Fear etc.

IQ v/s EQ(Intelligence Quotient v/s Emotional Quotient)

• The research shows that IQ can help you to be successful to the extent of 20 percent only in life. The rest of 80 percent success depends on your EQ & SQ

80% EQ

20% IQ

Then What is Success ????

GETS YOU HIRED GETS YOU FIRED/ PROMOTED

THE PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS

IQ versus EQ

• IQ predicts success at school

• IQ on average predicts only 10% of success on the job

• IQ is fixed, and peaks in the late teens and early twenties.

• IQ is culturally bound

• IQ cannot be developed

Characteristics of a low EQ Person

“If only I had a different job … …”“If only I had finished graduation … …”“If only I had been handsome/beautiful …”“If only my spouse had stopped drinking …”“If only I had been born rich and famous…”

“If only I had good contacts…”“If only I had better friends …”“If only I had married someone else …”

Characteristics of a High EQ Person

• A time to wait and a time to watch,• A time to be aggressive and a time to be passive,

• A time to be together and a time to be alone, • A time to fight and a time to love,• A time to work and a time to play,• A time to cry and a time to laugh,• A time to confront and a time to withdraw,• A time to speak and a time to be silent, • A time to be patient and a time to decide.

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days.

I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow." "Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out. Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship. The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.“ Back came the signal, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.“

The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees." "I'm a seaman second class," came the reply. You had better change course 20 degrees."

By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.“

Back came the flashing light, "I'm a lighthouse.“

We changed course.

Make a difference wherever you go? Be significant – stand firm & yet allow the storms

to pass by “YOU”. Be a LighthouseBe a Lighthouse

THINKING-HEAD THINKING-HEAD IQIQ

DOING-BODYDOING-BODYActionsActions

FEELING-HEARTFEELING-HEARTEQEQ

BEING-SPIRITBEING-SPIRITSQSQ

Real capacity is explored when there is an alignment between

““Learning how to Learning how to

learn is life's most learn is life's most

important skill.”important skill.”

– – Tony Buzan Tony Buzan

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