CARNAL COUSINS: WATFORD USA

EXTRACT FROM

CHAPTER 6

Gerry had already gone to work when I woke up the next morning, so I stumbled

into the kitchen and did my best to make myself a proper cup of tea. Before I

could drink it, though, the buzzer went and it was Ralph. I had kind of mixed

feelings about letting him in – I was looking a first-thing-in-the-morning mess, but

on the other hand, well it was obvious what the other hand was. So I took a

chance on putting him off me by letting him see what I looked like at crack of

noon.

I’d already learned that they all got up at some unbelievably early hour

and were ready for lunch by twelve o’clock, so he’d probably be shocked at my

slummocky ways.

Couldn’t have been more wrong. I never got my cup of tea, but Ralph and

I certainly got more intimately acquainted that morning.

I still don't know which of us made the first move, but suddenly we were

against each other, kissing each other hard, running our hands over each other.

I pushed his tee-shirt up to feel closer to him, and he pulled away from me for a

moment to get my scruffy old night-shirt over my head and then there was this

glorious feeling of body to body. I didn't even notice when he took the rest of his

clothes off, but very quickly we were locked together on Gerry's hygienically-

clean floor and the rest was as nature intended. It started off with a lot of rolling

about and bumping into chair legs and then some shouting and groaning. All

this sort of thing had already happened in my mind's eye almost from the first

moment I'd set eyes on him, but the real thing was far ahead of anything my

imagination could conjure up. Also more interestingly complicated . . .

And the first time wasn't a fluke either, as we discovered after we'd got

our breath back and moved to my bedroom for further investigations.

Much later, after we’d both showered and dressed, he said, ‘Come on, let’s

go to Starbucks for late brunch.’

I’d never been to a Starbucks in England because I’m a dedicated tea-

drinker and I’ve never been a main-line coffee addict, but at that moment I’d

have jumped into the Pacific Ocean with Ralph if he’d asked me to. So when we

got there I asked him, just for interest, what a non-coffee drinker would have,

and he was all for me having a Strawberry Frappucino.

'Just the thing for a hot girl on a hot day,' he assured me.

It looked OK. In fact, quite pretty.

I put the straw in my mouth and gave a strong suck. A piercing pain

started in my front teeth, volcanoed up my nose and settled in my forehead. My

eyes filled with tears.

Ralph was speaking. I lip-read him asking worriedly, ‘Don’t you like it?’

while he mopped my eyes.

I couldn’t say anything. All the front of my head was in the grip of

agonising below zero numbness. My only thought was, Starbucks is not for me.

On the whole, I prefer the dentist.

Ralph decided to lighten the mood by chatting. I could see his lips

moving, but no sound reached me. I tried to let him know I’d gone deaf by signs,

but they didn’t work.

Finally, when my hearing started to come back and the agony in my face

started to get less, I made out that he was talking about Gerry. I wasn’t

interested in Gerry or even Ralph himself at that stage.

In my police career I’ve had one or two bangs on the nose and that area,

but I couldn’t remember anything that matched up to that Frapuccino. Talk

43

about death in a glass. And I never even got around to finding out what it tasted

like, either. But gradually the pain started to ease up, and I tuned in to Ralph’s

attempts at conversation.

' – since she was at high school,' he was saying.

I tried to concentrate.

'What happened since she was at high school?'

'No, it’s what’s not happened. What’s wrong, Greta? Haven’t you been

listening? I was saying that she hasn’t had a boyfriend since – '

'Oh,' I said. Then, as a few things fell into place, I gave a much longer

louder 'Ohhhhhh! You mean she – '

'Well, maybe,' he said, and then we just sat and looked at each other.

This day wasn’t turning out as well as it had begun.

44