Cards Against Urbanity - University of São Paulo

Cards Against UrbanityTo start the game, each player draws ten White Cards.

The person who most recently complained about their job begins as the Planning Director and plays a Black Card. The Planning

Director reads the question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on the Black Card out loud.

Everyone else (Money Grubbing Consultants or Overly Concerned Citizens . . . seriously?! You are players, you don’t get a label)

answers the question or fills in the blank by passing a White Card, face down, to the Planning Director. Or two cards if there are two

blanks – in order, with first to be read on top.

The Planning Director shuffles all of the answers and shares each card combination with the group. For full effect, the Planning Director should usually re-read the Black Card out loud before presenting each answer. The Planning Director then picks the

funniest/naughtiest/wrongest play, and whoever submitted it gets one Zoning Approval (A.K.A. a point).

After the round, a new player becomes the Planning Director and everyone draws back up to ten White Cards.

Winning . . . not really possible, have you looked at our built environment lately?

Don’t be embarrassed to use the Cardsplanations and have fun!

@DOtankDC

everything.Vespa share We share everything else these days, why not scooters?!Vinyl siding Practically indestructible house cladding with poor detailing and the half life of a cockroach.Volatile Organic Emissions Smog precursor, emitted by trucks, factories, cars, lawnmowers, people, urban goats....Vouchers Either subsidized housing or school choice . . . and Mom’s with coupons.Walking Dead Mall Famous zombie movie “Dawn of the Dead” was set inside a mall. Today, many malls themselves are dead -- or are they?Wearing last season’s kickball league shirt Sports leagues are a quick way to meet new people -- and some want to get involved, even when they aren’t.Weeping housewives of Whispering Oak Glen Subdivision Dramatic housewives, pulling heart strings to stop roundabouts, sidewalks and bioswales -- true story.White people flash mob Mobs of white people inexplicably doing white people things, coordinated online. Called “riot” when brown people do same.Workforce housing Euphemism for cheap housing, as in “normal working people can afford to live there.” See also 1%.Yet another study on how Millennials love cities For Pete’s sake, enough already!Yoga in the food court Let’s exercise in that dead mall space between JCPenney and Sears.Zombie subdivisions Neighborhoods begun before the real estate collapse, with half-finished or abandoned houses.

Thank you!We are sincerely grateful for the support we got from Cards Against Humanity

(even though we are not affliated), the press, our social media community and Kickstarter.

Most of all, we love this community of backers (and future players/city planners). As cities open up their processes, budgets and conversations, they

are also asking citizens to step up and give all manner of opinions. Some aspects are easy while others are a bit more complex and technical. The CAU team believes that the best way to plan our cities and towns is when everyone is comfortable discussing the topics. We think more people will get involved if

there is more fun along the way.

CARDSPLANATIONS

“Go back to Ohio.” NYC putdown of Midwestern transplants, now that “Go Back to Brooklyn” has lost its insult power.“Those people.” Insulting reference to anyone of a different race, economic class or ethnic group than the narrow-minded speaker.$4 toast bars 2014’s hip new restaurant fad. Thanks, SF.$500 strollers The latest status marker for the brand-conscious “Yummy Mummy” set.@DickFlorida Parody Twitter account, satirizing Richard Florida and his ballyhooed Creative Class.12 year process for the 10 year Plan Drawn-out public processes can be a problem.24/7 Vibrant places operate all day long, all night long, all week long.311, the complaint hotline You call 911 for escaped convicts, 311 for escaped poodles. Now a source for “big data” mining about quality-of-life complaints.5 kids and a goat For some reason, large families like having livestock around, too. Especially goats, who are cute and useful but unruly.A bike that costs more than a car If you keep going for a tune-up with the cute bike mechanic, of course it will. Or if you’re a MAMIL.A desire named streetcar Every city thinks a street car will automatically improve their city. But will it?A Dyslexic Traffic Engineer Engineers, by and large, need to be precise, and dyslexia probably doesn’t help.A fistful of illegal campaign contributions From Chicago to Chongqing, corrupt local officials are everyone’s favorite punching bag.A pocket Duany Andres Duany is a world famous architect and bombastic speaker. A pocket version would make a nice good-luck charm.A roll in the hay From Young Frankenstein - a farm reference to sex in the barn loft. Trend alert for urban ag?A stressball shaped like Richard Florida Richard Florida introduced the world to the “Creative Class,” who do the stressful work of gentrifying cities.Activating the f*ck out of some streets Nothing hurts a city

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The Planning Director’s questionable motives In every article about planning, ever.The Semi-Creative Class Those who don’t quite fit Richard Florida’s standards of braininess in their work.The War on Cars Supposed agenda of the All-Powerful Bike Lobby.The word “vibrant” The overuse of this term rivals that of “sustainable.” Might refer to earthquakes.This isn’t Europe . . . Why we can’t have nice things. Tip to tip optimization TV show “Silicon Valley” reference. LMGTFY... Warning: explicit. Tract homes Builder houses, usually small and poorly constructed.Transect neutral TThe transect is a categorization system of different urban environments, but sometimes you don’t want to be labelled. Transectual fashion show The transect is a categorization system of different urban environments. Different transect zones call for different outfits, duh. Transit-Oriented Development Really?! This is when you build multi-use nodes around transit stops - should be standard operating procedure.Trying too hard See, Hot Hipsters. Turn down for what DJ Snake and Lil Jon HipHop song meaning “Why sober up?”Underpass The space underneath bridges known for seedy activity but increasingly eyed for art and acticity.Urban Not rural, not suburban. The city, people. Urban boogeyman Unidentified criminal element that makes surbanites scared of cities.Urban crop dusting Farting while walking through a crowd. Urban design that actually kills children What actually kills kids (overly wide/fast roads), as opposed to phantom threats like bioswales and bike lanes. Urban pioneers Uppity first wave gentrifiers. Urban spelunking Exploring the nooks and crannies of the city . . . and it’s inhabitants.Urban Sprawl deniers There’s no such thing as global warming either.Vandelay Industries George’s pretend company on “Seinfeld”.Vats of Purell™ Because lots of hand sanitizer solves

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live hearings on cable access.Art opportunity High minded way to say “inviation to grafitti”.Arterial highways High-capacity suburban road; see Stroad.Artisanal Meth Labs Small-scale, local manufacturing is all the rage, and not just for the yuppie set. “Breaking Bad,” anyone?As seen on Kickstarter Really, you don’t think we’re going to plug how we funded all this fun?Asian boys on bicycles Once you start seeing them, they’re everywhere!Back alley waffle shoppe This is what happens when you ban trans-fats, and legalize alley-facing uses: secret walk-up windows of yumminess.Bar car on the subway If bar cars add to the charm of intercity rail travel, why not local rail too?Bear Hugs When naysayers overturn the transit bill, everyone needs a hug. The bigger the better.Benefits of sea level rise Climate change is typically associated with catastrophe, but some optimists point to the positives of steaming the planet.Best practices A policy term referring to ways other cities get it right.Better Block(s) The Build A Better Block movement helps communities build better streets. But there are plenty of ways to block better blocks too.Biergarten Always be sure to pronounce this with a heavy German accent, especially to employees of said establishment.Big box churches Churches that take over abandoned WalMarts (etc.)Bike lanes Lanes specifically marked for bicyclists, often misunderstood, and curiously source of much angst.Bikelash The backlash against bicycle infrastructure and programs (and the occasional asshole bikers).Bikini car washes The real reason men don’t want to give up their cars. Begs question if bikini bike washes could increase bike mode share.Bitchy tech girlz User error -- it’s never a technology flaw. That’s what we said.Blue-haired amateur historian That ubiquitous older woman who offers up sometimes-dubious reasons why every development will Destroy History.Boundary changes Because school quality is important,

Smell of french fries and urine Intriguingly enticing and disgusting, all at the same time.Snap-in muntins Plastic thing that makes one big piece of glass look like multiple smaller ones. Real divided window glass is called “divided lite”.Snark-itects Everyone’s a critic, especially of architecture.Snout house House for which the garage is all you see, no people door readily visible.Soccer MILFs Yummy Mummies, as in “Bobby, your Mom is hot!”Solar powered water taxi The ultimate in unreasonably-green motorized mass transportation, easily adaptable to rising sea levels.Something out of The Truman Show “The Truman Show,” about a simulacrum of daily life, was filmed in Seaside, a town built to mimic traditional neighborhoods. Spaghetti Junction A nickname sometimes given to a complicated or massively intertwined road traffic interchange, resembling a plate of spaghetti. Splash parks and spray grounds Public places incorporating waterworks. Inadvertent wet t-shirt contests. Fun for all ages!Sprawl The enemy, obvs. Stadium boondoggle You mean building a new stadium won’t actually make the city money?Starbucks University Starbucks made headlines by offering tuition to workers. Sort of. Startup coworking innovation hubs Where you can develop your cool new app with all the other cool new app-makers. Stranger Danger The (usually criminal) danger associated with strange adults. Also, presidential candidate Ralph Wiggum’s platform on immigration.Streetcar to nowhere Is transit good if it doesn’t take you where you want to go? See “Desire Named Streetcar.”Strip mall Maligned and pedestrian unfriendly building type constructed to serve mainly shoppers in cars.Student ghetto Where you are if you are surrounded by porch couches, Solo cup litter, and the smell of Axe body spray.Style Wars Modern vs. traditional will always be an issue.Suburban Dream White picket fence nightmares.Subway grate aromatherapy Especially effective mid-July through late-August.Subway map nail art Thanks to Pinterest, subway maps

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like ”dead” streets, so cities are trying a little too hard to bring activity to sidewalks and streets.Adopted, white parents Asian kids, without the Asian parents. (Or orphans from whichever country’s giving them away this week.)Adult-onset A.D.D. An excuse for never paying attention.Aerotropolis Conceptual cities centered around airports and logistics, and mid-2000s planning fad.Affordable housing made completely from pallets A play on recycling and re-using, and the long history of using public housing residents as guinea pigs for faddish architecture.Agenda 21 Barbie Agenda 21 is a United Nations sustainability effort that has conspiracy theorists all worked up about a “one world” government. Air Jeff Speck walking shoes Jeff Speck wrote the book “Walkable Cities,” and we thought we’d help him work on his brand.All nude rooftop deck Why the heck not?All-powerful bike lobby The lobby that’s successfully waging a “war on cars,” replacing lovely traffic jams with unsightly bike-shares.Alternative fuel from kale chips Anything other than gas (and the occasional ethanol thrown in), now that there’s a surplus of kale trimmings.Amateur theatre Non-professional theater, with sometimes very-untrained actors. Can occur spontaneously.An Ayn Rand Theme Park Uber-Libertarian author Ayn Rand fetishized selfish architects -- and so do many egomaniac architects.An even shorter bus The short bus refers to transportation for special needs travelers . . . shorter still?An Uber/Lyft with a happy ending Yes - it’s a thing to have “high performing” drivers.Annie’s Organic Grassfed Shells & White Cheddar Mac n’ Cheese ™ “The only thing Sophia will eat! We order it in bulk from Peapod/FreshDirect/Google Express.” (See Grocery delivery van.)Architectural Mullet All business in the front; all code violations in the back.Arm-chair quarterbacking Usually refers to know-it-alls calling football plays while watching TV. The same sometimes watch

are showing up everywhere. Fingernails are a pretty convenient place - yes?Superfluous graduate degree Millennials are now the most educated generation . . . and may carry the most academic debt in history!Super-sized Let’s get fatter!Surge pricing Prices go up (by a lot) as demand increases for services like Uber and parking meters.Survivalist Victory Garden Where the Venn diagram of “urban liberals” and “prepper libertarians” intersect.Sustain-inability The lack of maintaining a balance of ecology/economics/equity for present and future generations.SUV envy What people who use car2go have.Swishy track suits Like Ben Stiller wears in “The Royal Tenenbaums”. Tactical, disruptive, AND lean When trends collide.Taking a piss when the rear bus door opens No joke, one of us saw this in New Orleans. Target but not Wal-Mart We like classy big-box stores here. Target is French, remember?Taupe-fields A rebranded brownfield - it’s not THAT tainted! Or maybe just bulldozing something boring.TEDtalks One of your friends saw a 20 minute talk by a planner and now they know everything.Televised stains Pissing your pants, or profuse sweating, when a planner finds out the meeting is being video recorded or broadcast. Unflattering.Testimony full of “scare quotes” Scare quotes include threats to children’s safety, property values, and subtle racism.Texas donut Not a giant pastry. Apartments ringing a parking garage, strangely dense for the suburbs but still car-centric. That app you hide from your friends We’ve all got one.That fine line between “Big Data” and made-up numbers 100% of people will read this.That’s so T4! “T4” is a Transect zone, describing “sub-urban” conditions of urbanity. Usually contrasted with “T3 General Urban.”The Hobby Lobby Guide to Tactical Urbanism Hot glue without birth control, or a way to diss too-temporary urban interventions.The mayor’s secret Snapchat account Because public records laws are such a hassle.

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Charter schools Independent public schools. Varying degrees of quality. Chef-inspired pre-made grab ‘n’ go dinners Just because you’re eating a TV dinner doesn’t mean you can’t add a touch of celebrity. Mmm! Chick-Fil-A Drive-thru Southern fast food madness, known for its Godliness and ads featuring creepy anthropomorphized cows.Chinatown bus Affordable long distance transportation, but you get what you pay for.Churches becoming condos Nobody goes to church, but everyone wants condos, so these are the next frontier for housing.Citizens Lobbying for Urban Chicken Keeping (CLUCK) Replaced the original: Farmers for Urban Chicken Keeping.Civics 101 Some local governments offer this much-needed refresher for seventh-grade Social Studies. Classical undertones Good phrase to toss out when you’re hanging with Notre Dame architects, or a flattering term for brainy indie musicians. Clown cars When you try to save money on a ride, and cram nine people in an SUV.Clusterf*ck Common term for awful piled upon awful, frequently used by author James Howard Kunstler.Cobra heads Giant highway-style light fixtures, which usually glow orange.Cold pour coffee The latest hipster coffee trend.Collaboration Work together people. Stop being difficult.Collisions Double meaning: (1) what used to be “auto accidents,” and (2) chance encounters through networking that lead to great ideas. Common Core Oft-misunderstood as “Obama-school,” but actually a voluntary basis for a national K-12 curriculum.Community character The magic something something feeling that makes a place special.Commuting 50 miles to a green building “Green buildings” are sometimes built in locations that defeat the purpose and require resource-intensive car trips.Commuting flip-flops Once upon a time, women commuted in sneakers and pantyhose; now everyone changes into flip flops for the journey home.

Ponzi scheme An investment scam that pays off earlier participants with new recruits. Chuck Marohn says suburbia works this way.Pooper scooper If you own a dog, this is your hobby. Poor door In mixed-income developments, the entrance for the lower income people. Pop-up A temporary store, park, etc., or a badly done upper-story addition to a house.Pretending to care about Detroit “Detroit symbolizes what is lost in the transition from the industrial economy to the know . . . blah, blah, blah.”Professional gentrifier Spends too much time fixated on a neighborhood’s quality-of-life problems, paving the way for richer people to enjoy it.Prozac brownies Make a batch for the office! Or public meeting.Public participation Democracy at its best when done well, but can also result in “design by committee” or just plain gridlock.Public private partnership A joint venture between a government service agency and a for-profit company, usually to the benefit of the latter.Rail-trails Bike/hike trails built on abandoned railway corridors.Rain garden, full of trash Rain gardens soak in rainwater to prevent stormwater runoff, but need maintenance. Random beardo Some average guy with facial hair.Rats with wings Pigeons mostly, also seagulls in coastal locations.Redneck High Line Attempts to replicate NYC’s new elevated park (thre High Line) but with less cash and poorer design.Referring to taxes as the “sharing economy” Sharing is the hot new thing, so why not work it?Rent-a-PoPo Think “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”Repurposed hell-hole Once it’s a hell hole - is it always a hell hole?Return on brain damage The return on “investment” of one’s own time and energy (rather than just money).Rezoning shitstorm Rezoning is how the permitted use of a property is legally changed, so just watch what happens when you tell the neighbors.Riprap A foundation or wall of stones on an embankment slope to prevent erosion, usually along river edges.Road rage Aggressive driving -- not remembering that driving

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changing the boundary for school assignments can be the toughest battle in cities and towns. Brad Pitt pretending to be an architect While commendable, sometimes going into historic neighborhoods and donating modern houses doesn’t feel right.Breast feeding in public Babies gotta eat, and formula is no substitute, but it’s indecent exposure! Like bike lanes, somehow a source of great angst.Breeders Young straight people make babies -- a problem for gayborhoods, or where there’s school overcrowding.Broken. Escalators. Maybe this is a DC thing (WMATA), but we seriously doubt that subway escalators work anywhere.Bros Young men who love to party on, bro. Brownfields Previously used land, with varying degrees of contamination, which could be returned to profitable use.Brunch Meal that’s neither breakfast nor lunch. Recently scorned in NYT, about how brunch is conspicuous consumption masquerading as urbanity.Building made of foam Whether EIFS or SIPs, yes, buildings can be made of Styrofoam, and yes, they can dent.Built environment Streets, buildings, signs, etc. Parts of the environment that were constructed, not grown.Bulb-out A curbed bump, within the lane used for parallel parking, that narrows the crossing distance for pedestrians.Bureaucratic infighting The war of the siloes among government departments.Burning Man-themed parklet A parklet is a small, temporary-ish park built in a parking spot. Burning Man is a desert festival. Both are so very SF. Car2Go Car-sharing service that exclusively uses those useless two-seat Smart Cars.Card game gone terribly wrong You’re here aren’t you? Why you looking this up?!Carmageddon Coined to describe traffic congestion expected from temporary freeway closures in LA. Didn’t materialize, but term caught on.Cat cafes Dogs go out to eat with their owners. Why don’t cats? Popular in Japan, and coming to U.S. soon.Cell towers disguised as trees Do these actually fool anyone? Not attractive regardless, but somehow look sillier as fake forests. Available as palm, pine, etc.

is a privilege and not a right.Robert Moses’ bulldozer Robert Moses destroyed countless neighborhoods to build highways, parks, housing projects, etc. across New York City.Robo-Parking Valet parking garages that stack cars like you stack your dishes in the cupboard. Roundabout vs. traffic circle Wait, there’s a difference? Yes, roundabouts have yield signs, and traffic circles stop signs or stoplights. Runoff inlet device Storm drains, sometimes outfitted with filters to clean up urban stormwater. Sounds dirty.S&M clowns Perverted, scary, and funny all at once!Scenic viewshed Don’t block my view of [XXX] with your crazy high-rise buildings.Screaming children There is a reason audio tapes of screaming children are employed as torture tactics.Seedy underbelly The dark side - not seen and often illegal.Segregated bike lanes Fixie vs. Non-fixie. Dedicated lanes for bicycles that are separated from the traffic lanes with bollards or curbs.Self-righteous pedestrians Walkers with bad attitudes.Setbacks Part of zoning’s “bulk regulations.” An imaginary line, relative to street or lot edge, that buildings must be located behind.Sexy firefighter fundraisers Remember that one episode of “Sex in the City,” when Samantha starts dating a future Roger Sterling?Shipping containers Big metal boxes piling up across America, being converted to everything from bars to offices to apartments.Sidewalks covered in vomit Watch your step, especially in the new silver bullet: Entertainment Districts.Silver bullets The easy answers that solve all dilemmas all at once . . . and provide vampire killshots!Slug line Commuters that wait in designated parking lots for rides with other commuters that want to use the High Occupancy Vehicle lanes.Slumlords Bad landlords, cheap rent. You know you’ve rented from one - most likely in college.Smart ass city planner What? There isn’t enough snark and sarcasm in this for you?

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Deep boring So many meanings! Of course, we mean a method of digging subway tunnels when they’re real deep.Demolition by neglect What neglectful landlords do, or when there isn’t even enough money to tear down blighted properties in distressed cities.Design by committee Offering everyone a say in how a project is designed, with poor outcomes. See “Clusterf*ck”.DINKs Double Income, No Kids. See “conspicuous consumption.”Disturbia 2007 film, 2008 Rihanna song, portmanteau of “disturbed” and “suburbia.”Dog park fights Dog Parks are never, ever easy #barkbarkDoggie day care The new nail salon, aka an easy way to fill up empty retail space.Donald Shoup’s unpaid parking tickets Donald Shoup is the godfather of modern parking policy and wrote “The High Cost of Free Parking”.Donald Trump Renowned and reviled real estate developer and reality TV personality. Doomsday Prepper Person who stocks up food, water and weapons for coming calamities. Good friends to have, but only in case of emergency.Dragging people into hipness You can lead them to artisan-brewed kombucha, but you can’t make them drink. Drive-through weed window Doesn’t this invite DUIs? With legal marijuana, a walk up window seems so much more urbane.Driving to the gym Because that’s how you get a work out in.Drone delivery Is Amazon going to spy on us while they deliver our cheap plastic crap?Dudes who work in finance When bros graduate to something a little more respectable. Duff Beer The drink of choice on our favorite cartoon, the Simpsons.Dumpster full of citizen preference surveys “ . . I’m sure the answers were recorded and the data was entered into the record first.”Dunkin’ Donuts?Eating duck confit while dissing gentrification Preferably in a restaurant that features lots of reclaimed-barn wood. Eco Corridor Pedestrian walkways for migratory animals.

American take on Bauhaus.Middle aged men in lycra (MAMILs) You’ve seen them! Seen wearing click click bike shoes to public meetings, often swarm on scenic rural roads.Millennial Moronese Have you eavesdropped at the brewpub?Mind the Gap A warning in the London Subway to take care when crossing the gap between the train door and the station platform.Minecraft Metropolis Minecraft is a video game about building things with blocks, used increasingly as a “visioning” technique.Mission Burritos Burritos as we know them were invented not in Mexico, but in this super-trendy San Francisco neighborhood.Moisture problems Mold, mildew, etc.Mommy-baby happy hours Mommies need hand-crafted pre-war cocktails too but beware the screaming children.Monstrous carbuncles Phrase used by Prince Charles during a formal speech, dissing a proposed modern building. A “carbuncle” is an open sore.Mothers Against Bioswales A real movement, where mothers fear their children will drown in areas intended to naturally soak in rainwater.Mr. Monorail That guy (a.k.a. “Lyle Lanley”) who shows up at every public meeting to suggest a monorail is the answer to all problems.Multi-modal martinis The urban go-cup - one fits all types of transit.Multiplex Mega-movie theater complex usually with zillions of screens only slightly larger than the average home theater.Mutual access easements A good phrase for subtly hitting on real estate bros, or a shared driveway.Neighborhood fabric Describes overall feel of local built environment (streets, buildings, etc.). Some neighborhoods are like silk, others like ‘70s polyester. New new economy Beyond tech and Etsy, there’s something.NIMBYs Not In My Back Yard, and the people who loudly scream it.Not another cupcake shop We love cake but how many can we really support in one place?Not-So-Smart Growth Smart Growth is a land development practice that favors mixed-use and walkability. This isn’t quite

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Complete Streets Streets designed for all users; fun rhyme.Compromised bad idea Not all compromises work out well. Sometimes you end up with shit.Compulsive curb cuts The car kind, that suck away sidewalks. Often seen along stroads.Condemned FEMA trailers FEMA trailers house people post-natural disaster, sometimes for many, many years. Congress for the New Urbanism The leading organization promoting walkable, mixed-use neighborhood development, sustainable communities, and healthier living conditions. www.cnu.orgConspicuous consumption Sporting brand name products, and nothing but. Consultants who hate cities Someone had to design all that suburbia.Coordination tongue Sticking out the end of your tongue, usually to the side of your mouth, when you concentrate.Corbu line of Google Glass Design inspired by the owlish specs worn by Le Corbusier, the overhyped architect. For the extra-pretentious. Cramming people into high rises The definition of “densification” to many NIMBYs.Crappy retention pond advertised as “The Lake” A trash pit (colored an alluring blue on the lot sales map) that fills when it rains, fenced off so little children won’t drown in it.Crumbling infrastructure That bridge? Don’t drive over it. Cul-de-sac Cul-de-sacs are derided by planners, who prefer to distribute traffic across a street network.Curbside domestic dispute Arguing couples in public who think no-one is listening to them, and a common multifamily complaint.Cyber stalking Looking up exes, enemies, etc. online, for no good reason. D.I.Y. power Building solar and other electric systems for houses, or groups of buildings, sticking it to power companies.Dangling from a subway strap Hand straps sometimes hang from the ceiling of subways or buses.Decorator warehouse club Because you’d rather pay a fee, and don’t want anything that just ANYONE could walk in and buy.Decriminalization Legalize it!

there.Nubs Intern architects, or sidewalk extensions, or one who willfully sucks at video games.Ocean of asphalt Large surface parking lot. See WalMart.One percent The rich bastards. If you’re a planner, you’re not it. Online shopping sales taxes Contentious debate about whether states can collect sales tax from online shopping, as they do from brick & mortar stores.Our growing family Term used at public meetings meant to imply that the proposal, or any proposal, with ruin something for potential offspring.Overhead power lines The difference between urban and suburban utilities (urban utilities are often placed underground).Panhandlers on the median Highly visible symbol of suburban poverty; difficult to prohibit, thanks to first amendment protections. Parking nastygrams Passive aggresive notes from your neighbors even though it’s a public street.Peak beard The moment when the number of guys sporting beards starts to decline.Pedicabs The tricycles that carry people and the muscular men and women who transport them.Penthouse Swank apartment on the top floor, or brown paper-wrapped men’s magazinePeople people People who can relate to other people (or extrovert assholes).Pet psychologists Bruiser and Fifi have issues too you know.Photobomber That random guy giving you bunny ears in your selfie.Pied-a-terre In-town apartment, traditionally used as a part-time “town house” counterpart to the country house.Pin the Tail on the Kotkin Joel Kotkin is a pro-suburban writer known for his weasely rhetoric.Pink mustaches The trademark of rideshare service Lyft. Gives a whole new meaning to moustache ride. Pink on pink fixed gear Fixed gear or “fixies” are one gear bikes, often given curious paint jobs by hipsters.Pissed off prostitutes Yet another population impacted by gentrification.Pods Portable On Demand Storage, which can cause problems when they become permanent driveway fixtures.

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doors. Or sometimes how real estate debt gets structured.Gastro-instestinal distress See “crop dusting”.Glenn Beck’s separatist libertarian colony Libertarian TV talking head Glenn Beck has launched the Citadel, a walled utopian city experiment. Google Buses Private buses that ferry workers from SF houses to Silicon Valley offices, potent symbol for techie gentrification. Granny flat Accessory dwelling unit. Small residences behind larger houses where we put grandma - or renters. Greenwashing Look, just because something comes in a brown paper package doesn’t mean it’s good for the environment. Grocery delivery van New trend in shopping for groceries, adding to delivery lane congestion on city streets (but reducing parking demand). Hamsterdam Experimental red-light district set up in “The Wire”. Hand-crafted pre-war cocktails Made by “mixologists”, usually include Frenet-Branca, insufferably hip. Helicopter parenting Parents who closely hover over their children.Historic preservation of 1960s Ranch Burgers Ranch burgers are ‘50s or ‘60s ranch houses, which are now “historic” -- but worth preserving?HOA rules! Home Owner Associations rule, with rules. Hoarding incandescent light bulbs Energy-guzzling, now-banned incandescents are “like lighting your house with toasters,” but cast such a flattering glow for selfies. Hobo Corner Where the bums hang out, in the hidden recesses of subway cars (often by the unused driver’s seat).Homeless people Sometimes confused with hipsters. And vice versa. Hot hipsters Who doesn’t love a good alliteration? Or a good pair of tight jeans!Hot mess A person or situation that comes across as a mess, but carries an undeniable attractiveness.I’d rather have bollards Bollard: A short post designed to control traffic. An upgrade on just reflective paint striping. Induced demand Demand sometimes follows supply (not just the other way around), whether when you build new roads or shiny new residences.

Infrastructure networks The hot mess of wires, cables and pipes that make dense urban life popular. Inside baseball When a conversation gets too jargony and talks about people/things you don’t know. (See “Cards Against Urbanity”)Intersection of Doom That one corner in town where all the wrecks happen. Particularly with bicycles.iPeople We’re just a few digital iterations away.It’s a “done deal” Typically first assumption by neighborhoods when presented a redevelopment proposal. Jane Jacobs Patron Saint of Urbanists; her “Death and Life of Great American Cities,” like the Bible, can be used to justify anything.Jaywalking Invented by auto lobby and Boy Scouts as car culture took hold in 1920s LA. Infraction, or cry for more crosswalks?Jetpacks It’s 2014, and we were promised that by now we’d use jetpacks to get around!Justifiable homicide Our protest card. Violence for (no) good reason, often with oppressed groups at the receiving end.Kanye’s Skool of Arkitecture Kanye West gave a mini-lecture at Harvard, said he sees everything as “architected.”Katrina Cottages Small, quality houses designed by Marianne Custo as an alternative to FEMA trailers. Knope of the Week Emerging Local Government Leaders tells us it’s a spoof on Leslie Knope, the do-gooder on the TV show Parks & Recreation.Know it all interns from GSD Harvard men think highly of themselves, especially at the Graduate School of Design.Knowledge economy The use of knowledge to create tangible and intangible values. Think Social Media Manager.Landscape Urbanism Bullshit Generator Website that makes fun of high-falutin’ terminology and unproven practices of the latest greenwashed urban design fad.Laying some serious pipe Urban infrastructure is often placed in pipes and conduits buried in the ground.Lead paint, YOLO Take risks, as You Only Live Once.Lexus Lanes High Occupancy/Toll Lanes. Once controversial, but now they’re the only way to go.Lifestyle centers An outdoor shopping mall pretending to be a “Towne Centre” even though no-one lives there.

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Empty bikeshare stations Great for bikeshare usage metrics, bad for bikeshare commuters.Entrepreneurial culture Policies, support, and funding for start-up businesses. Not always the best for collaboration, though.Epidemic of mimes (there is an explanation here, you just can’t hear it)Errogenous zoning Planners’ credo: where there’s a zone, there must be zoning. Ethanol distilled from quinoa What could be better than eating this fad food?! Could happen . . . F*cking land use lawyers Self-explanatoryFacetime Video chatting, because a phone call is so passe.Famous last words: “Hey y’all, watch this” Southern saying from wreckless daredevils. a.k.a. college . . . Fantasy ridership Projected numbers of potential passengers on a future transit line, generally accused of being inflated by opponents.Farmers’ market Age-old marketplace that’s all of a sudden a big deal.Fat kids complaining about Farm to School lunches Clean your plate Junior, kids in India don’t have quinoa-kale-tofu scramble.Faux stone Who needs REAL building materials, this stuff is only $2.99 a square foot!Favored quarter Commercial real estate term describing the “right side of the tracks”.Female Gingkos Those smelly trees.Finding a dead body while geocaching Geocaching is how adults play hide-and-seek with strangers and GPS. Fixed hazardous objects Trees. This is a traffic engineering term for street trees that must be removed for safety’s sake.Florida Man An internet meme shrewdly pointing to the “world’s worst superhero,” aka tawdry news involving Floridians.Forever home Real estate that a couple sees as the last house they buy. Or designed for aging-in-place - adaptable, universal design.Four over one Architect jargon: four floors of wood-framed apartments sitting over one floor of concrete retail/parking.Free-range organic non-genetically modified everything Isn’t this your diet?Front-loaded Townhouses with garage doors, instead of front

Lipstick on a pig Term for trying to improve a bad project with small cosmetic changes.Listserv from Hell Listservs are email lists, which can quickly spread neighborhood gossip and can quickly get nasty.Little people dressed like traffic cones Tribute to Stephon from Saturday Night Live, who popularized “Orange cones.”Live Work Play Cliche about complete communities, where all aspects of daily life can happen within walking distance, aka LaLa Land to some.Locavores People who insist on food grown and processed locally, in every season.Looting by light rail “If we build transit into the suburbs, then the inner-city people will come out and take our TVs!” (we’ve heard it)Low expectations Set low expectations, so when a project is even marginally successful, everybody’s wowed.Low hanging fruit The easiest first steps in getting it done.Low headways Headway is the time between transit vehicles, so “low” refers to buses that arrive every 15 minutes or less. Sounds cheeky.Macklemore & Taye Diggs Macklemore is doing great things for Seattle parks and Taye Diggs follows us on Twitter!Man Cave A room where “guys can do as they please” without fear of upsetting any female sensibility about house decor.Manually facilitated Get your mind out of the gutter! Mashpee Mashpee Commons on Cape Cod, the first retrofit of a stripmall into a mixed-use, pedestrian-friendly town. Sounds funny.Meaningless developer concessions When developers offer up an amenity that’s easy and cheap, though not necessarily a good neighborhood bonus.Meter maids on segways The better (and faster) to ticket you. Segways are scooter-like devices that are easy to maneuver on tight city sidewalks. Micro-brewery bubble Get out before we all go back to drinking shitty beer again, a la David Chang.Micro-lofts Tiny apartments in cities where real estate prices are exorbitant. Slightly larger than the Japanese capsule hotels.Mid-century modern Not just Mad Men-- it’s a style propagated by Frank Lloyd Wright and characterized as an

Basic Rules

To start the game, each player draws ten White Cards.

The person who most recently complained about their job begins as the Plan-ning Director and plays a Black Card. The Planning Director reads the question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on the Black Card out loud.

Everyone else (Money Grubbing Consultants or Overly Concerned Citizens . . . seriously?! You are players, you don’t get a label) answers the question or fills in the blank by passing a White Card, face down, to the Planning Director. Or two cards if there are two blanks – in order, with first to be read on top.

The Planning Director shuffles all of the answers and shares each card combina-tion with the group. For full effect, the Planning Director should usually re-read the Black Card out loud before presenting each answer.

The Planning Director then picks the funniest/naughtiest/wrongest play, and whoever submitted it gets one Zoning Approval (A.K.A. a point).

After the round, a new player becomes the Planning Director and everyone draws back up to ten White Cards.

Winning . . . not really possible, have you looked at our built environment lately?

Don’t be embarrassed to use the Cardsplanations and have fun!

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Cards Against Urbanity