Illustrations by Allan Wong

By Paul Toth

Copyright ©2007 Paul Toth, Allan Wong

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By Paul TothIllustrations by Allan Wong

How to Entertain Your Betta FishFirst Edition

Two New Little Homes . . . . . . . . .7

The Acrobat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13

The Hunter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21

Fish In Space . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31

Don’t Settle, you can

Always do Betta . . . . . . . . . . . .39

(Un)suitable Betta Partners . . . . . .47

5

It was 1992 and my wife and I had just

settled into our new apartment in down-

town Vancouver. Sharing our first home

was a big step for us and each and every

square foot was precious, especially since

there were only 450 of them. After cram-

ming stuff into every crack and crevice,

something was still missing to make our

apartment into a home. We decided to

make an even bigger leap of responsibility:

we bought a Betta Fish.

I thought it was pretty cool to own a pet

known as the “Siamese Fighting Fish”

7

I was concerned. “Fishy Wishy looks a

little bored, he needs something to do,”

I said to my wife. “It’s just a fish” she

replied. To me, such simple logic did not

apply here. This is not “Just a fish”. This

is a Siamese Fighting Fish and he would

naturally require a world of adventure.

Currently his world of adventure consisted

of a 250 ml glass jar filled with water.

Clearly something needed to be done and

I was the man to do it.

First I needed to expand Fishy Wishy’s

geographical potential. A five gallon tank

was hastily purchased, setup with various

however much of that initial enthusiasm

was lost when my wife named it “Fishy

Wishy”. Either way, we were both excited

about our new family member…but

Fishy Wishy did not appear to share our

enthusiasm.

9

I suspected that Fishy Wishy was lonely

so, one by one, various fish friends were

introduced to his five gallon world.

Despite my efforts, he was clearly not im-

pressed, taking on a look of “you-expect-

a-Siamese-Fighting-Fish-to-play-around-

with-these-garden-variety-pet-store-fish”?

I was starting to lose confidence in my

ability to alleviate Fishy Wishy’s boredom.

My wife kept saying “Don’t worry honey,

it’s just a fish.”

“Just a fish.”

plastic toys and even though Bettas can

breath air much like us humans, the tank

was outfitted with an aerator and water filter.

But Fishy Wishy was still bored.

11

I decided to work with his natural abilities

first. I read a book that said Betta Fish can

catch flying insects in mid air. Now thatsounded like something worthy of a Fighting

Fish! At the time we were feeding Fishy

Wishy tiny dried bloodworms (doesn’t that

sound tasty). Incidentally, this is the only

substance I know of that I am allergic to,

causing me to sneeze uncontrollably each

time I would open the container. Sneezing

away, I would dip a thread into the water

and then dip the wet thread into the

container of worms. One or two worms

would stick to the thread quite nicely and

Then one day as I walked past the tank,

Fishy Wishy swam along, following me from

one end to the other. A quick statistically

valid random sampling of two more times

indicated that indeed, Fishy Wishy wasfollowing me and therefore, logically, he

was much more than “Just a fish”. He

needed a better world, one where he could

show his true character.

13

Proud of my Fighting Fish’s strength and

accuracy I wanted my wife to witness this

display first hand. I decided to setup the

worm baited thread higher than ever

before: six inches above the tank. I knew

this would be a challenge even for strong

Fishy Wishy but since the tank was next

to our dinner table, my wife and I could

dine at our leisure until the moment to

strike arrived.

Patience…You can do it…Take your time…

“Splish!” Lift off! Perfect form! Fully

airborne! Six inches!…

I would then lower the worms just above

the surface of the fish tank. Several hours

and two boxes of tissue paper later, Fishy

Wishy took his first airborne victim. I was

thrilled with what my Fighting Fish was

capable of. My wife was more concerned

with what I was capable of.

Over and over I would follow this proce-

dure, each time raising the thread a little

higher. Eventually I simply taped the

thread to a shelf overhanging the fish tank

and let Fishy Wishy take his prey whenever

ready. Before too long he was clearing the

tank by a good three inches.

15

After all, this is not

“Just a fish” (but in

reality I had no

clue what to do

next).

Did you know that Betta Fish have teeth?

I didn’t either. Apparently I missed this in

my readings. But teeth they have and

Fishy Wishy sunk every one of them into

that tasty dried worm…and unfortunately

also into the thread that held the worm six

inches in the air. For some reason, these

teeth seem to be good at biting into but

not letting go of their prey.

So there was Fishy Wishy, flapping around

in mid air, dangling from a thread tied to

a shelf. My wife’s screaming “Do SOME-

THING! He’s going to die!” I’m pretending

to take my time as evidence that there’s

nothing to worry about.

17

Fortunately, Fishy Wishy, like all respect-

able Fighting Fish, knew the show was

over and his return to Water World was

long overdue. He released his death grip

and gently splashed down. In one leap,

Fishy Wishy had the ladies terrified and

earned the respect of his master…a true

warrior.

19

“Dear Sir, It has come to our attention that

you have been exhibiting a pattern of Betta

Fish abuse. S.O.B. Betta Bylaw 13.2 subsection A

clearly states that any Betta caregiver must

provide a healthy and caring environment for

all Bettas on their premises. A full report has

been submitted to the S.O.B. Betta Abuse Council

and this incident will be placed in your

permanent file. Bylaw 13.2 subsection H provides

you with 48 hours to appeal.

Sincerely

Mr. T.J. Splendens

President S.O.B.

Save Our Bettas Foundation”

“Dried Bloodworms”. Does that sound like

appropriate prey for a Fighting Fish? I didn’t

think so. Fishy Wishy needed something

more challenging. Off to the pet store

I went.

I discovered the wonders of “brine shrimp”.

Brine shrimp are very tiny creatures that

swim around in salt water. The pet store

worker will scoop up a quantity of brine

shrimp equivalent to half the population

of a small country and put them in a bag

of water for the easy price of $2.00.

21

behind a rock and there was no line of

sight between them and their new predator.

Fishy Wishy immediately went into “hunter

mode” as I looked on in anticipation.

Fishy Wishy closed in on his prey, then

paused, and again moved even closer.

Within seconds he took his first victim and

then his second. He never felt so alive

before…“we” never felt so alive! What

could be better than lightly salted shrimp

snacks that you can hunt down and eat,

all without having to leave your home?

With a rinsing bowl of fresh water and a

bag of potato chips, both of us snacked

through the rest of the afternoon.

Arriving home beaming at the thought of

feeding live prey to Fishy Wishy it dawned

on me, fresh water Bettas…salt water

brine shrimp? Problem.

Not one to let a small technicality slow me

down I decided to take out a couple brine

shrimp, rinse them in fresh water and

release them into Fishy Wishy’s tank. The

brine shrimp didn’t seem to mind their

new environment, possibly because we all

expected their visit to be a short one.

My first observation was that Fish Wishy

seemed to “hear” the brine shrimp before

he could see them. The shrimp were

23

Brine shrimp do not last forever in a bag

of water and unfortunately I had about

30,000 remaining. Putting them in the

refrigerator helped slow their decay but as

they started to go belly up one by one

I desperately needed a way to preserve

Fishy Wishy’s food supply. After all, $2.00

here and $2.00 there can add up quickly.

I thought, “If cooling them down in the

refrigerator helped slow their decay then

let’s go all the way.” I would put them in

the freezer but before I go on, some points

of clarification.

25

Now that we cleared that up, how would

I freeze 30,000 fresh water-rinsed brine

shrimp? In ice cube trays, of course. Yes

guests could get confused while mixing

drinks but the convenience was too hard

to resist. I mean, after all, each cube

would be like a little Betta Fish frozen TV

dinner. Pop it out of the freezer, directly

into the tank, wait 30 seconds and dinner

is served.

Fishy Wishy tried pressing his fish lips

against his first ice cubed dinner but that

proved uncomfortable so he resolved to

simply wait below the floating mass. As it

thawed, one by one little shrimp snacks

First: Unlike Sea Monkeys, after freezing

or drying, brine shrimp do not come back

to life. I was so disappointed.

Second: While it is evident that I can

become somewhat attached to a pet fish,

brine shrimp do not fall into the same cat-

egory. Brine shrimp are objects of food for

my beloved pet. In my mind, they are not,

themselves, pets. They are pet food and

as such, being frozen to death is perfectly

justifyable in this case. It is important to

set your priorities straight, right from the

start: Pet, Pet Food.

27

“Dear Sir, Further to our initial letter, S.O.B.

has received further reports of Bylaw 16.3 and

23.7 infractions on your premises. This matter

has been submitted to S.O.B. Betta Abuse Council

for immediate recommendation of remedial action.

If you are deemed to be an unfit Betta caregiver,

Fishy Wishy will be removed from your premises.

We have also notified the Save Our Brine Shrimp

(S.O.B.S.) Foundation of this very serious matter.

Sincerely

Mr. T.J. Splendens

President S.O.B.

Save Our Bettas Foundation”

would drift down and Fishy Wishy would

snatch them up. So much entertainment

for just $2.00 a bag!

29

Fishy Wishy’s life started out in a small

plastic cup. His next home was a small

glass jar and later he enjoyed the luxury of

a five gallon tank with water filter and aer-

ator. But let’s face it, his tank was much

like every other fish’s tank: Standard issue

with standard options: plastic water toys,

fake rocks, the occasional half dead plant.

I wanted Fishy Wishy to move up in the

world. He was better than the other fish

and therefore needed better accommoda-

tions. If the fish tank was an apartment

building then Fishy Wishy should live in

the penthouse suite. I had grand plans but

31

the tank’s surface. I expect most people

will remember the science behind this,

something about atmospheric pressure on

the outside matching the inside pressure

but for me all that mattered was that I had

a water filled penthouse suite ready for my

Fishy Wishy. I used some old particleboard

to keep the bottle permanently suspended

above the tank. Total cost: $0.00

While I was certain this was the right

home for Fishy Wishy, Fishy Wishy was not

so sure. You see, for a fish, the water’s sur-

face is a sacred barrier to be treated with

ultimate respect. Below it is “fish-world”

while above it is a world for creatures who

my wife had just enrolled in university to

get her teaching degree and so she put

a lid on any new purchases which unfortu-

nately included fishy penthouses. I needed

to be creative with a low budget.

Penthouse suites are up, on the top floor,

overlooking the residents below. I needed

to somehow elevate Fishy Wishy above the

others. I thought of tubes, elevators, ramps,

and canals but these were all complex and

potentially expensive schemes. In the end

the solution was simple. I took a large

clear glass cranberry juice bottle, filled it

with water, inverted it in the tank and

raised it up, stopping just before leaving

33

Then after days of me sitting, staring,

watching, he finally crossed over, up into

the portal, boldly going where no fish has

gone before, looking down upon Water

World below him. A small step for a fish,

a big step for fishkind. My wife and I,

well…I celebrated for the rest of the day.

Fishy Wishy took up residence in the pent-

house suite rather quickly. Because of the

curvature of the jar he appeared larger

than life relative to the fish below. This

made Fishy Wishy and I both feel good

with me noting to my wife “Honey! Look

how big he looks!”

“It’s just a…never mind.”

serve the fish (and the occasional thread-

suspended dried bloodworm which, for

some reason unknown to the fish world

inhabitants, has not been seen in ages).

As a fish…well, as a Fighting Fish…you

can venture into the world above but only

very briefly. Extended visits result in

certain death.

Over and over Fishy Wishy would swim up

to where the water surface should have

been…and stop. The sacred barrier should

be there, but it was not. It was now a portal

into the other universe. “Should I cross

over? Can I ever return? Will I die?”

Days went by.

35

Having established the penthouse as his

territorial home, other fish that would

come close to the barrier portal would be

quickly chased off. Brine shrimp, not

being smart enough to understand portals

and parallel universes, would occasionally

venture across the barrier and into the

suite. From Fishy Wishy’s perspective, this

was some curious combination of home-

invasion and ordering-in. The penthouse

was clearly exclusive Fishy Wishy territory.

But then, alone in his penthouse suite,

Fishy Wishy became lonely. Something

was missing…

37

Fishy Wishy was well set up. He was a

strong fish having honed his hunting skills.

He had plenty of food. He had the best pad

in all of Water World. What he needed now

was someone to share his fortune with. He

needed a female partner.

Now let’s be clear about something. I liked

Fishy Wishy but one fish was enough.

I was not ready to start a family of fish.

Under the title of “How to Entertain Your

Betta Fish” a supply of female Bettas

would likely be at the top of Fishy Wishy’s

39

lifting page 23 up to the Penthouse, Fishy

Wishy immediately changed his expres-

sion. “Hellllllo!”

I allowed page 23 to “swim” past the tank

a few times. It was clear that this was what

Fishy Wishy was looking for. He was now

swimming in circles.

Suspecting that a female fish being

followed by several hundred words of text

may not be conducive to the full effect,

I got out a pair of scissors and extracted

the essential ingredient from page 23.

With a little wire and tape, I had a reason-

able facsimile of a female Betta.

list but you have to draw the line some-

where. He would have to settle for a rea-

sonable substitute.

With lonely Fishy Wishy gawking on

through his penthouse suite I picked up a

Betta Fish book I had bought some time

ago. As I flipped through the book I found

a small picture of a female Betta on page

23. For those who don’t know already,

male Bettas are the amazingly beautiful of

the two sexes. The females are not nearly

as attractive as the males. (My wife says

it’s just the opposite with humans, or at

least it is in our household.) But beauty is

in the eye of the beholder and by simply

41

I spent most of the afternoon doing my

best to make the paper cutout as attractive

as possible, perfecting the “seductive swim

by” with each pass. Part way through the

process my wife came home. She stopped

dead in her tracks and stared at me.

“That’s sick.” Trying to be smart I replied,

“But honey, it’s just a fish”. That didn’t

help much. From her perspective I had

sunken to a new low but I didn’t care.

I knew Fishy Wishy had risen to a new

high. His happiness was my happiness.

Figuring Fishy Wishy had enough for one

day I went to bed and got plenty of sleep

that night.

43

But you have to draw the line somewhere.

After all, it’s just a fish.

The next morning we awoke to a surprise.

Fishy Wishy had built a bubble nest in his

Penthouse suite! Quickly referring to what

was left of page 23, I read that when

Betta fish are ready to mate, they create

little bubble nests that float on the sur-

face. I was thrilled. Fishy Wishy wanted a

family of his own. You can be certain you

have a happy, comfortable Betta when he

makes his first nest. I felt I had accom-

plished all of my goals.

Even my wife was excited about Fishy

Wishy’s paternal urges. “Honey, can we

get a real female Betta for Fishy Wishy?”,

she asked.

45

47

“Dear Sir, It is with great pleasure that I may

inform you of the S.O.B. Betta Abuse Council's

decision to review your file. The Council found

there was no wrongdoing in the Fishy Wishy case.

The Council was pleased to note that the entire

Wishy Family (all 32 of them) are in good health

and are well cared for. The newly elected Board

of Directors of S.O.B. will certainly clear

your file and put this matter behind all of us.

I trust you and your wife are well.

Sincerely

Mr. F. Wishy

President, S.O.B.

Save Our Bettas Foundation

P.S. I heard a rumor that the S.O.B.S. Tribunal

investigator is having a hard time finding co-

operative witnesses. I think his trail may have

gone ‘cold’.”

Bulging Betty

Rotting Ruby Val

No fish were harmed during the production ofthis book (at least not intentionally). Plenty ofbrine shrimp were. Most parts of this book aretrue, at least as far as Paul can remember,which often isn’t very far.

Paul lives near Vancouver with his wife, daughterand…a cat. No fish. They were too emotionallydraining.

© 2007Copyright Paul Toth, Allan WongEmail: fishywishy@telus.net

How do you entertain a Betta Fish when

he lives in a little bowl with little elbow

room? Read “How To Entertain Your

Betta Fish” and discover fun ways to

turn your Siamese fighting fish into a

proud warrior.

For hard copies of this book, please visit:www3.telus.net/starthere/bettabook