Business Writing Fundamentals - Lorman Education …Business Writing Fundamentals Presented By: This...

Business Writing Fundamentals

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mail: P.O. Box 509 Eau Claire, WI 54702-0509 • telephone: 866-352-9539 • fax: 715-833-3953email: [email protected] • website: www.lorman.com • seminar id: 399952

Bob BlyBob Bly, Copywriter/Consultant

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mail: P.O. Box 509 Eau Claire, WI 54702-0509 • telephone: 866-352-9539 • fax: 715-833-3953email: [email protected] • website: www.lorman.com • seminar id: 399952

Prepared By:Bob Bly

Bob Bly, Copywriter/Consultant

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Effective Technical Writing1

BUSINESSWRITINGFUNDAMENTALS

Presented by Robert W. Bly, Center for Technical Communcationwww.bly.com

Business Writing Fundamentals1

1


Kurt Vonnegut’s Definition of Writing¹“Making idiosyncratic arrangements in horizontal lines with ink on bleached and flattened wood pulp, of twenty-six phonetic symbols, ten numbers, and about eight punctuation marks.”

Edward Uhlan on the Advantages of Writing²“As a matter of fact, the reverence people have for the printed word is amazing. Simply because a man appears in print, the public assumes that he has something authoritative to say. This applies on every level.”

Hugo Williams on the Writer’s Dilemma³“The tricky thing about the writing industry is the more or less accepted notion that everyone’s opinion, even on matters of grammar, carries equal weight.”

¹ Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake (G.P. Putnam’s, 1977), p. 28² Edward Uhlan, The Rogue of Publishers Row (Exposition Press, 1983), p. 123.³ Hugo Williams, Freelancing, (Faber & Faber, 1995), p. 6.

WRITERS ON WRITING


⎕Deadline too tight

⎕Copy is ruined in the approval process

⎕Subject matter is too complex for me to understand

⎕Conducting effective interviews

⎕Finding and using suitable graphics to go with my copy

⎕Overuse of buzzwords and jargon

⎕Overuse of clichés

⎕Making spelling mistakes

⎕Proper use of punctuation marks

⎕Using correct grammar

⎕Making complex subject matter clear and understandable

⎕Making dull subject matter interesting to the reader

⎕Overuse of abbreviations

⎕Creating attention-getting subject lines

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WRITING PROBLEMS DO YOU HAVE?:

⎕Writing abstracts of longer pieces

⎕Use of tenses

⎕Keeping ideas in writing parallel

⎕Overuse of antiquated phrases and stuffy language

⎕Paragraphs and sentences too long

⎕Words too big

⎕Being concise and writing to fit the space available

⎕Getting started

⎕Not knowing the proper format

⎕Writing the lead

⎕Writing the closing

⎕Organizing my thoughts

⎕Creating a suitable outline

⎕Making smooth transitions between points

⎕Others: ___________________________

3


• Clear.

• Conversational.

• Concise.

• Correct.

• Consistent.

• Compelling.

THE 6 C’s OF BUSINESS WRITING

“There is no good writing that is not clear. There is no clear writing that is not good.”

--Brooke Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951

“The present letter is a very long one, simply because I had no leisure to make it shorter.”

-- Blaise Pascal, Lettres Provinciales XVI, 1656


“…Conversational tone. The norms for business communication have changed. Where highly formal, stilted wording was often used in the past, a more conversational tone is now preferred. This involves using natural-sounding wording similar to that used in everyday speech. For example, include contractions like “I’m” or “we’ve,” and avoid highly formal language or dense jargon.”

From "Using an appropriate Tone in Business Writing”http://www.directutor.com/content/using-appropriate-tone-business-writing

“…Business writing, especially when online, is becoming less formal than academic writing, so you need to be prepared to adapt your writing style. Be friendly and clear without being too curt to balance informality with formality in writing…”

From "Effective Business Writing: Balancing Informality with Formality”http://blog.enroll.com/post/Effective-Business-Writing-Balancing-Informality-with-Formality

4


“… People do not read business memoranda for the pleasure of reading. They do so in order to receive instructions or information upon which to base decisions or take action. Therefore, highly literary prose is not desirable in business writing. Overly formal prose may also be counterproductive by seeming stand-offish or simply wordy. A style of writing that is too informal can also convey an unintended message, namely that the subject matter is not serious or not taken seriously by the sender. A straightforward, courteous tone is usually the best choice but one that may not come naturally without practice...”

From " Written Communication” (Inc.com)http://www.inc.com/encyclopedia/written-communication.html


“… People pay extra attention to a message written in a conversational tone. In fact, according to a study by psychology researchers Richard E. Mayer and Roxana Moreno, when people read something that’s written conversationally, it tricks their brain into thinking they’re directly involved. As a result, a conversational tone is more effective for getting a message across–and getting that message to stick. Unfortunately, it can be hard to find your voice when writing informally. In school, you were taught to write in a strictly formal style; that’s a tough habit to break. Informal business writing might be a grammatical nightmare, but it’s an excellent way to build trust and attract customers…”

From " 5 Tips for Writing in a Conversational Tone”http://www.printwand.com/blog/15-tips-for-writing-in-a-conversational-tone

5


“How can I answer so many questions?” This is the ONE question that we seem to ask ourselves everyday. Our world is changing and we struggle to keep up with it. Each day we seem to have to do more and more with less and less. To survive and prosper today, we need to learn more in order to cope with this demand. Actually, we need to do more than just learn; we need to master learning. We must learn faster, deeper and broader than we ever have before. This means a fundamental requirement for each of us to remain competitive. Our brain has built-in mechanisms for acquiring knowledge and skills. The objective of this article, and the next five articles in the series, is to help each one of us to master learning with ease by leveraging on the mechanisms that are used naturally by the brain. Some experts call these mechanisms the laws of learning.

MASTER LEARNING WITH EASEPart I – Sense and Meaning


More information has been created in the past 5 years than in the previous 5,000.

The only way you can possibly keep up with important new information is to improve your ability to learn.

Now you can master learning with ease. How?

By making full use of certain mechanisms… built right into your brain… that help the brain acquire knowledge and skills.

MASTER LEARNING WITH EASEPart I – Sense and Meaning

6


“Many writers, especially beginners, feel they have to

impress people with their knowledge of big words and

complicated sentences. Don’t do it. This isn’t you.

It’s some distorted image of what you think a ‘writer’

should be. Write simply, and your style will rise and

flow from within you.”

- Zen and the Art of Writing

WRITING


Well-designed documentation is a necessary requisite for an optimized human machine interface. – introduction to an AT&T memo

In the emphasis on diversity, the nation of a hegemonic sexual discourse is deconstructed.

– panelist at the annual convention of the American Sociological Association

A comprehensive review of your school-based substance abuse program will be conducted by a team of field auditors from our department next week.

To effect any change in telephone instrumentation or lines, a memorandum of justification should be submitted by the respective program telephone liaison or office manager to the supervisor of building management and planning.

PLAINLY SPEAKING…

7


CLEAR WRITING = EASY READING

HOW TO USE THIS CHARTTake a pencil or ruler and connect your “Words per Sentence” figure (left) with your “Syllables per 100 Words” figure (right). The intersection of the pencil or ruler with the center line shows your “Reading Ease” score.


1. Subject:What about _________________________?

2. Audience:o Title ○ Job functiono Education ○ Experienceo Background ○ Familiarityo Level of interesto Other: ___________________________

3. Purpose:o Belief ○ Opiniono Thought ○ Attitudeo Awareness ○ Actiono Other: ___________________________

S.A.P. ANALYSIS (Subject, Audience, Purpose)

8


1. S.A.P. Analysis.

2. Outline.

3. Gather research materials.

4. Read and highlight.

5. Type your notes.

10 STEPS TO BUSINESS WRITING SUCCESS

6. Reorder or annotate notes.

7. Write.

8. Rewrite.

9. Edit.

10. Polish.


IMPROVEMENT IN ANYTHING = ex

A B C100%

Degree ofPerfection

0Time and Effort

“The margin”

9


PUNCTUATION AT A GLANCE

COMMA

,• Separates dependent clauses.

• A dependent clause doesn’t present a complete thought.

• Mr. Smith, a lawyer, was at the party.

• As I mentioned in my letter, we need to hire three secretaries.

• We need action, not words.

SEMICOLON

;• While commas separate dependent

clauses, semicolons separate independent clauses that closely relate to each other.

• Hundreds of tests are conducted to determine product safety; accidents occur regularly.

COLON

:• Announces something that follows.

• Usually precedes a list, a letter, or an explanation.

• Go to the stockroom and bring me these items: pens, toner, and folders.

• Hospitals exist for one reason: to heal the sick.

HYPHEN

-• Links words.

• Usually links two or more words modifying a noun.

• This is a state-of-the art course.

• We need to go through a two-stage process.


PUNCTUATION AT A GLANCE

ELLIPSIS

…• Separates dependent clauses.

• Often used when only part of a quotation is used.

• ”I… am… guilty,” he stammered.

• “This is the best report I’ve seen…you did a good job.”

PARANTHESES

( )

• Add information

• Usually the information is of secondary importance

• Acme Co. had excellent revenues (see fig. 5)

• I’m sending you three checks (No. 1245, No. 1247, and No. 1249).

DASH

–• Highlights or interrupts a thought.

• A dash SHOUTS; parentheses whisper

• The Dow Jones Average closed at 17,000 – the rich get richer, it seems –to set a new record.

APOSTROPHE

’

• Shows possession or contraction.

• Singular noun ending in “s” get “ ’ ”

• The boy’s pen is on his desk.

• We’ll see you soon.

• The employees'’ rights are protected by OSHA.

• Mr. Dickens’ book is open.

10


Correct the errors in grammar or punctuation in the following sentences. There may be more than one problem in a sentence.

1. Having found the missing report, the search was ended by the secretary.

2. A series of articles on employee benefits have been printed in the company newsletter.

3. We all admire her ability with words, her ineptness with people however ruins her effectiveness.

4. Our experimental results are similar to the Acme Research Company.

5. Our marketplace while changing is still made up primarily of civil servants in middle income occupations.

6. We enjoyed meeting with Mr. Brown, Mr. Green, and yourself in New York.

7. I think its time to affect a change in the employees spirits.

EXERCISE:

GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION


a sentence is a separate statement it is like a little country its boundaries

are a capital letter at the beginning and a period at the end within its territory

it may have districts such as introductory or subordinate clauses when these

districts push against the rest of the sentence they are marked off form the

rest of the sentence by a common

a sentence is also like the human body the verb is its heart without its heart

a sentence collapses into a fragment its subject is its head and gives the

sentence direction the secondary elements to a sentence are the arms of

the main part these may begin with when or if when or if clauses depends

on the main part and cannot be amputated from it by a period

some sentences have equal parts joined by and or but equal parts join hands

but an unequal part hooks on like a finger to a hand if either an unequal or

equal part is heavy enough it is marked off from the rest of the sentence by a

comma like the human body sentences fit together in closely related parts

THE PARTS OF A SENTENCE*

* From The Great American Writing Block by Thomas C. Wheeler (New York: The Viking Press), page 92.

11


• Fuel savings were realized through the installation of thermal insulation.

• The corporation deemed it necessary to terminate Joseph Smith.

• It is most useful to keep in mind that the terms diabetes mellitus refers to a whole spectrum of disorders.

• The rocket will burn eight times its weight in liquid oxygen.

• The brace stabilizes mobile dentition.

• Powder is gravimetrically conveyed from a silo to a truck which hauls the material to a landfill.

• The components needed include a capacitor, transistor, bipolar diode, a sugector, microprocessor, and a power supply

• As per your request, enclosed please find a catalog describing our publications.

PRINCIPLES OF COMPOSITION


• Systems shall be established and maintained which provide control of all functions affecting the quality of raw materials, supplies, services and products to assure conformance to order, code, and specification requirements.

• Uncontrolled copies are issued, when requested by a customer or other parties associated with the quality assurance program however, subsequent revisions will not be automatically forwarded to holders of uncontrolled copies of the manual.

• The department which has ordered the material will be directly responsible for receipt and acceptance of the quantity and quality specified on the order documents with the exception of purchased slabs for rolling to finished plate product.

BREAKING UP LENGTHY SENTENCES

12


Dear All:

Olympic participants train and practice for years ahead of the event. As they do so, many have the vision of standing on that historical, revered platform and receiving their medal. As any pro or aspiring pro golfer practices a swing to perfect his game, he too may do so with the mental vision of slipping his arms into the coveted green blazer presented at the Masters. The winning Super Bowl Team practiced and played every game throughout the season, with each member having an image of that final victory celebration in mind. A heart surgeon practices his intricate techniques for years, and each time he walks toward an operating room he envisions the post-op reporting to the loved ones of his patient a message of success and promise for a healthy future.

That healthy ego and emotionally-driven confidence that comes from knowing that we are stepping to the center circle or to a podium, before an audience of countrymen, fans, peers or supporters, with the ability to deliver a winning message of success is not ever full describable, is it? It is so satisfying and exhilarating to be able to claim personal or team accomplishment that translates to a victory or success, with pride, to be shared with all – but it is often difficult to properly express these feelings to others unless we are well prepared to do so.

On Monday, September 29th, at 2:00pm, we will gather all our employees in the Grand Ballroom at the nearby Sheraton Hotel to celebrate our 40th Anniversary. At that time, we will each have the opportunity to succinctly present out status and achievements and, most importantly, our respective team’s vision, contribution and promise toward healthy, and prosperous future. A great deal of the fact-based information that will make that promise believable and embraceable by all will be those performance numbers that reflect our sales revenue during the next few months of this fiscal year.

DRAFT OF BUSINESS MEMO (NOT APPROVED, WORK IN PROGRESS)


• GlobalCorp is committed to anticipating, meeting, and exceeding our customers’ needs and requirements, and to producing quality products which provide reliable performance and are delivered on time to meet the most demanding deadlines.

• We strive for quality leadership in all of our product lines by establishing and meeting quality standards which are responsive to our customers’ needs and are commensurate with GMP, ISO 9000, and numerous other regulatory requirements.

• We will foster and maintain an attitude of quality awareness through-out all other activities of the company and empower our employees to deliver quality products and services to prevent nonconformance and to continually improve.

TEAM EDITING EXERCISES

13


INCORRECT CORRECT WHY

Subject & VerbDISAGREEMENT

In reference to your recent letter, your address on our files are correct.

An order form, as well as a post-paid envelope, are enclosed.

In reference to your recent letter, your address on our files is correct.

An order form, as well as a post-paid envelope, is enclosed.

The subject of the sentence is “address,” not “files.”

Noun and PronounDISAGREEMENT

Each supervisor must complete their personnel reviews by Friday.

Each supervisor must complete his or her personnel reviews by Friday.

– or –

Supervisors must complete their personnel reviews by Friday.

“Supervisor” is singular, so it takes a singular verb.

ProblematicPRONOUNS

John, George, and me met to discuss the job.

We met with Mr. Brown, Mr. Smith, and yourself in New York.

John, George, and I met to discuss the job.

We met with Mr. Brown, Mr. Smith, and you in New York.

Remove the first subjects and read the sentence: “me met”? Obviously not.

Dangling MODIFIERS

After finding the missing report, the search was ended by the secretary.

After finding the missing report, the the secretary ended the search.

Since the “search” didn’t do any finding, the secretary had to find the report.

DisplacedMODIFIERS

The payroll teller recommended First Carrier over Federated, whose delivery service is very prompt.

The payroll teller recommended First Carrier, whose delivery service is very prompt, over Federated.

If First Carrier is recommended, it must be the prompt company, not Federated.

Run-on SENTENCES

Your projected cost for fiscal 1991 is $650,000, however, this figure may vary because of a variety of factors.

Your projected cost for fiscal 1991 is $650,000; however, this figure may vary because of a variety of factors.

The “however” is the start of a whole new thought with its own subject and verb.

GRAMMAR AT A GLANCE


THE FOLLOWING ARE ORDINARILY CAPITALIZED: EXAMPLES

The first word in a direct quotation within a sentence He asked: “Are you going to help?”

Proper nouns and some adjectives formed from proper nouns unless use has made them so familiar that they are no longer associated with the original name

London Rockefeller CenterFrance MaineFifth Avenue ImpressionBut: diesel ampere hertz ohm

The names of organizations, institutions, government agencies, businesses, and holidays

Lever Brothers CompanyU.S. Small Business AdministrationLibrary of CongressThanksgiving

An official title used before the name of the person holding it

President James Johnson, founder of the Acme CompanyPresident ObamaGovernor CuomoBut: “Mr. Cuomo was elected governor of New York”

“James Johnson, president and founder of the Acme Company”

Geographical terms when they are part of a proper nameLong Island SoundMount Hood

Sections of the country and world and adjectives derived from them when they refer to a specific geographical area

They live in the West.He is a Northerner.Southern CaliforniaBut: Chicago is east of Denver.

When they indicate direction, don’t capitalize north, south, east, and west.

Registered trademarks Formica®, Frisbee®, Scotch Tape®

The first and last word and all nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, and all other words of five or more letters in titles and subtitles of books, magazines, newspapers, articles, essays, etc.

His article is called: “Ten Tips to Better Business Writing and Technical Writing.”

CAPITALIZATION RULES

Don’t catch “cap fever,” the uncontrollable urge to capitalize any word to emphasize it’s importance.

14


Write i before e,

Except after c,

Or when sounded like a,

As in “neighbor” and “weigh.”

And except “seize” and “seizure,”

And also “leisure,”

“Weird,” “height,” and “either,”

“Forfeit” and “neither.”

SPELLING RULES


1. Write i before e except after c or when sounded like a.

2. The spelling of a world does not change when a prefix is added (e.g., unnecessary).

3. If the stressed syllable precedes the final consonant, double the consonant (e.g., preferred, preference).

4. Always use k after a hard c when adding a suffix that begins with e, i, or y (e.g., picnicking).

5. Nouns ending in ch, s, sh, ss, x, and z add es to form the plural (e.g., churches).

6. Make dates or single letters plural either by adding an s, adding an apostrophe s, or adding an s in italics (e.g., 1990s, 1990’s, 1990s)

7. Most nouns ending in f or fe switch to ve before adding s to form the plural (e.g., loaves)

8. Most nouns ending in an o preceded by a consonant add es to form the plural (e.g., heroes).

9. Most nouns ending in y preceded by a consonant change the y to i and add es (e.g., berries).

10. For nouns ending in s, the possessive is formed by adding apostrophe s (e.g., bus’s tires) when the possessive is pronounced as a separate syllable; otherwise, just add an apostrophe (e.g., doctors’ office).

Source: Marilvn Vos Savant, The Art of Spelling (W.W. Norton & Company, 2000)

SPELLING RULES

15


The typographic errorIs a slippery thing, an sly.You can hunt it till you’re dizzy But it somehow will get by.Till the forms are off the presses It is strange how still it keeps;It shrinks down in a cornerAnd it never stirs or peeps.The typographic errorIs too small for human eyes,

THE NATURE OF THE TYPO

Till the ink is on the paper…When it grows to mountain size.The Boss, he stares with horror;Then grabs his hair and groans;The copy reader drops his head Upon his hands and moans.The remainder of the issueMay be clean as clean can be,But the typographic errorIs the only thing you’ll see.

– Author unknown


Control of the furnace is provided by a thermostat.

Fuel savings were realized through the installation of thermal insulation.

The articles are prepared by our editors.

The corporation deemed it necessary to terminate Joseph Smith.

It is most useful to keep in mind that the term diabetes mellitus refers to a whole spectrum of disorders.

The expedition was delayed for a time because of unfavorable weather conditions.

Changing one amino acid in the chain could make an entirely different protein.

Crystals would form from fusion if the temperature was higher.

The rocket will burn eight times its weight in liquid oxygen.

The brace stabilizes mobile dentition.

Powder is gravimetrically conveyed from a silo to a truck which hauls the material to a landfill.

The components needed include a capacitor, transistor, bipolar diode, a sugector, microprocessor, and a power supply.

As per your request, enclosed please find a catalog describing our publications.

The valve manifold shall consist of six modules.

PRINCIPLES OF BUSINESS COMPOSITION: EXERCISES

“No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else’s draft.” – H.G. Wells

“I have made this a rather long letter because I haven’t ha time to make it shorter.” – Blaise Pascal

16


1. Systems shall be established and maintained which provide control of all functions affecting the quality of raw materials, supplies, services and products to assure conformance to order, code and specification requirements.

2. Uncontrolled copies are issued, when requested by a customer or other parties associated with the quality assurance program however, subsequent revisions will not be automatically forwarded to holders of uncontrolled copies of the manual.

3. The department which has ordered the material will be directly responsible for receipt and acceptance of the quantity and quality specified on the order documents with the exception of purchased slabs for rolling to finished plate product.

4. The QA & Metallurgy department shall be responsible for quality approval of incoming purchased steel slabs which shall be randomly checked for chemistry vs. certified test reports and visually inspected according to standard procedures established for the intendedplate application.

5. Control and calibration of test equipment shall be the responsibility of the department where test equipment is utilized with the exception of tests performed by an outside agency or subcontractor who shall assume responsibility for that equipment.

BREAKING OF LENGTHY SENTENCES


1. The Breath Test.

Sentence ____________________________________________________________

2. The Screen Split.

Paragraph ___________________________________________________________

3. The Gist Test.

Meaning ____________________________________________________________

4. Search-and-Find.

Subheads/markers ___________________________________________________

5. Reverse Proofing.

Proofread __________________________________________________________

6. Targeting.

“What about ________________________________________________________?”

TRICKS OF THE TRADE

17


Here are a few tips to help you improve the tone of all your communications.

Prefer positive to negative words. Instead of “John has neglected to show up at the last three meetings,” try: “John has not attended…”

Put negative news first in a sentence that has both positive and negative news.

By putting the “good news” last, the reader ends with it and the thought lingers (e.g., “Although I can’t hire you, I’m sending your resume to someone who can.”)

Don’t write when you’re angry You’ll probably regret it in the morning. You have no control over who your communication will be shown to and what consequences might develop.

Don’t use value judgments designed to make readers feel bad about past mistakes

Instead, try to motivate your reader to improve behavior in the future.So, don’t write “your problems stem from improper management of your time” when you can write, “you could benefit from improving your time management skills.”

Use contractions to warm up your message. It’s perfectly fine to use contractions in memos and letters. After all, we use them in speech.

Give your reader a reason to comply before making a request. Don’t just say “send me the check today,” give a a reason: “To make sure you get your order by Christmas, send me your check today."

Be courteous, but don’t overdo humility. ”Thanks for taking five minutes from your busy schedule” sounds like pleading. You’re putting yourself down when you use this phrase. Instead, write “I enjoyed meeting with you.”

Apologize completely. Don’t write, “I’m sorry about what happened, but you shouldn’t have…” Instead, apologize without ifs, ands, or buts.

Empathize before stating an opinion. Spend a sentence or two reflecting the customer’s feelings, empathizing with what the customer is experiencing: “It sounds as if you’re worried about your “staff’s lack of computer literacy.”

TIPS ON TONE


FORCEFUL TONE

• Use the active voice

• Be direct

• Take a stand

• Avoid hedge phrases and weasel words

• Avoid subordinate clauses

• Be clear

• Be positive

• Don’t qualify or apologize

TAILORING YOUR TONE

PASSIVE TONE

• Suggest and imply

• Do not insist or command

• Use the passive voice

• Do not pinpoint cause and effect

• Use qualifiers

• Divert attention or focus

18


PERSONAL TONE

• Be warm

• Use the active voice

• Use personal pronouns

• Use the person’s name

• Use contractions

• Write in a natural, conversational style

• Write in the first person and second person

• Vary sentence length

• Let your personality shine through

TAILORING YOUR TONE

IMPERSONAL TONE

• Do not use the person’s name

• Avoid personal pronouns

• Use the passive voice

• Write in the third person

• Write in a corporate, formal, or technical style

• Be remote and aloof


INSTEAD OF:

• at this point in time

• can be in a position to

• bring an end to

• absolutely completely

• consensus of opinion

• current status

• of a confidential nature

• after the conclusion of

• at a later point in time

• despite the fact that

ELIMINATE WORDY AND POMPOUS PHRASES

WRITE:

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

19


AVOID LOGICAL CONTRADICTIONS


• RAM memory

• information database

• Where were you born originally?

• your own home

• feminine hygiene products for women

• a substitute use in place of

• a new innovation

REDUNDANT REPETITION . . .

• consensus of opinion

• study in depth

• advance plan

• first and foremost

• three consecutive games in a row

• close proximity

• combine into one

• current status

20


• mailman

• policeman

• salesman

• stewardess

• waitress

• self-made man

• weatherman

• workman

SEXIST LANGUAGE

• The manager called a meeting of his staff

• Let’s say the employee is working overtime. He would receive double pay.

• The customer pays no interest on his account balance.


• is designed to provide

• at first glance

• the color purple

• whether or not

• a general principle

• a specific example

• he is a man who

• they managed to find

• the one and only

WORDY PHRASES

• from a low of 40 degrees to a high of 60 degrees

• a wide variety of models to choose from

• approximately one acre or so

• simple and easy to use

• can be considered to be

• most unique

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Additionally…

Also,…

And,…

Another reason is…

As a result…

… as well as…

As we’ve discussed…

Because of, …

Best of all, …

But, …

But wait. There’s more…

TIMELY TRANSITIONS

Clearly…

First, (___), Second, (___), Third, (____) …

For example…

For instance…

Here’s how…

Here’s why…

Next, …

Or…

Then again…

The results?...


• antithesis

• ascertain

• assist

• automobile

• currently

• diminutive

• duplicate

BIG WORDS, LITTLE WORDS

• eliminate

• employ

• expedite

• facilitate

• facility

• finalize

• furnish

• indicate

• obtain

• optimum

• parameters

• prioritize

• purchase

• requisite

• subsequent

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___ 1. Kindly___ 2. Advise us___ 3. Tender___ 4. This will acknowledge your___ 5. Endeavor___ 6. In view of the fact___ 7. Under date of___ 8. In lieu of___ 9. In the amount of___ 10. We deem it advisable___ 11. State___ 12. Not in a position to___ 13. In compliance with your request___ 14. It is our opinion___ 15. AT the present time___ 16. Under separate cover___ 17. In the event that___ 18. IN the near future___ 19. Similar to___ 20. Inadvertent Postponement

EXERCISE: ANTIQUATED PHRASES

A. Instead ofB. SoonC. SayD. PleaseE. Thank you forF. NowG. IfH. As you askedI. Since, becauseJ. ForK. Let us knowL. We suggestM. We thinkN. DelayO. Offer, sendP. TryQ. LikeR. SeparatelyS. OnT. Cannot

Each word or phrase in the column on the right is a modern substitute for a word or phrase in the column on the left. Match them.


1. AttentionHOW?•••

2. Problem

3. Solution

4. ProofHOW?•••

5. Action

THE MOTIVATING SEQUENCE

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1

3

2

4

5

P.S. Need an immediate quote on a copywriting project? Call me at (973) 263-0562 today.


“On writing – a matter of exercise. If you work out with weights for 15 minutes a day over the course of ten years, you’re gonna get muscles. If you write for an hour and a half a day for ten years you’re gonna turn into a good writer.”

– Stephen King, Time magazine, October 6, 1986

“No one writes as well as he ought. He is fortunate if he has written as well as he could.”

– Bliss Perry, Bedside Book of Famous British Stories, 1940

YOUR WRITING “ATTITUDE”

YOU CAN WRITE BETTER IF:

1. You want to.

2. You put the reader first.

3. You think writing is important.

4. You can think clearly.

5. You do “one more draft.”

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Effective Technical Writing46

Thank you.

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