Business Communication Today

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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION TODAY

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Transcript of Business Communication Today

Page 1: Business Communication Today

BUSINESS COMMUNICATION TODAY

Page 2: Business Communication Today

Document Analysis

Subject: Weak Adjustment Request

Page 3: Business Communication Today

Mr. James Ferraro Vice President, Sales Copy World 2510 East Pine Street Tulsa, OK 74160-2510

Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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CHECKLIST: Making Claims and Requesting Adjustments

• Maintain a professional tone, even if you’re extremely frustrated.

• Open with a straightforward statement of the problem.• Provide specific details in the body.• Present facts honestly and clearly.• Politely summarize desired action in the closing.• Clearly state what you expect as a fair settlement, or ask

the reader to propose a fair adjustment.• Explain the benefits of complying with the request such

as your continued patronage.

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Mr. James FerraroVice President, SalesCopy World2510 East Pine StreetTulsa, OK 74160-2510

Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

September 2, 2008

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September 2, 2008

Mr. James FerraroVice President, SalesCopy World2510 East Pine StreetTulsa, OK 74160-2510

Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

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Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve hadwe’ve had nothing but troublenothing but trouble ever sinceever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake!Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith

Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off !What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. SumnerSumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about If you understood anything about businessbusiness, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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CHECKLIST: 01

Maintain a professional tone, even if you’re extremely frustrated.

Did he ? NO

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Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiersThree months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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CHECKLIST: 02

Open with a straightforward statement of the problem.

Did he ?YES

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Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day.that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our Our four S-5 copiers are down constantlyfour S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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Provide specific details in the body.

CHECKLIST: 03

Did he ? NO

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Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant forsales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woowe believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiersOur four S-5 copiers are down constantlydown constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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Present facts honestly and clearly.

CHECKLIST: 04

Did he ? NO

Page 15: Business Communication Today

Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble.to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear Please let me hear from, you immediately. from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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CHECKLIST: 05

Politely summarize desired action in the closing.

Did he ? NO

Page 17: Business Communication Today

Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you you will see what a sweet I’m offering you.will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers!technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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Clearly state what you expect as a fair settlement, or ask the reader to propose a fair adjustment.

CHECKLIST: 06

Did he ? NO

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Dear Sir:

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since.

Your salesperson, Kevin Woo, assured us that the S-5 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the S-5 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Mr. Woo. Big Mistake! Our four S-5 copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they’re still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we’re losing considerable business in downtime.

Your Mr. Woo has been less than helpful, so I telephoned the district manager, Keith Sumner. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two S-55 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our S-5 copiers. What a rip-off ! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Sumner said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m writing to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Mr. Woo or Mr. Sumner, and I need action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you will see what a sweet I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your purchase your most expensive modelpurchase your purchase your most expensive model– but I can’t take such a but I can’t take such a loss on the S-5 copiers.loss on the S-5 copiers. The S-5 copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all making you’ll save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our S-5 copiers! Please let me hear from, you immediately.

Sincerely yours,

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Explain the benefits of complying with the request such as your continued patronage.

CHECKLIST: 06

Did he ? NO

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RevisedRevised DocumentDocument

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September 2, 2008

Mr. James Ferraro Vice President, Sales Copy World 2510 East Pine Street Tulsa, OK 7416-2510

Dear Sir,

Three months ago we purchased four of your CopyMaster Model S-5 photocopiers, and we’re losing considerable business in downtime, as our four S-5 copiers are down constantly.

I’ve purchased these systems in your company outlet at city centre, OK on July 2nd, 2008, without going through its brochure because I was told by your company representative that S-5 could easily handle 3000 copies a day but, the sales brochure said that it’s meant only for 500 copies a day. I agree, it was a mistake on my side too, as I was carried away by the words of your representative.

If your representative could visit our stores, he our she could check the copiers and analyze the actual problem, as they have been eventually get repaired. I have also spoke to your district manager, Mr.Sumner about these issue. I suggested that we trade in our S-5 copier on two S-55 models. However, Mr. Sumner said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on each of it. I value your company policies, but I think 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months.

we would really be happy you if could come down to 20 percent of depreciation as the S-5 copiers are relatively new. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your most expensive model, if you could try to solve this issue at the earliest.

We would be pleased hearing from you on behave of your company, you could reach me by calling 115-45689 during business hours.

Sincerely,

Page 23: Business Communication Today

THANQ ‘U’