Parent WorkshopBullying

Kathy CortesAndrea Grajeda

Overview of the WorkshopIdentify different types and forms of

bullyingWhat is known about the nature

and prevalence of bullying?Implications for bullyingWarning signsWhat can I do as a parent?Additional ResourcesParent-Student Role Play Activity

What is Bullying?Intentional aggressive behavior

including humiliation

Imbalance of power or strength in a relationship

Usually occurs over time

Direct Bullying

Hitting, kicking, shoving, spitting…

Taunting, teasing, racial slurs, verbal harassment

Threatening, obscene gestures

Indirect Bullying

Getting another person to bully someone for you

Spreading rumorsDeliberately excluding someone

from a group or activityCyber-bullying

How common is bullying?Study: national sample of 15,600

students in grades 6-10◦19% bullied others ”sometimes” or more often

◦9% bullied others weekly◦17% were bullied “sometimes” or more often

◦ 8% were bullied weekly◦6% reported bullying and being bullied “sometimes” or more often

(Nansel, 2001; Olweus, 1993)

Gender Differences in BullyingMost studies find that boys bully

more than do girlsBoys report being bullied by boys;

girls report being bullied by boys and girls

Boys are more likely than girls to be physically bullied by their peers

Girls are more likely to be bullied through rumor-spreading, sexual comments, social exclusion

(Nansel, 2001; Olweus, 1993)

Conditions Surrounding BullyingChildren usually are bullied by one

child or a small group

Common locations: playground, classroom, lunchroom, halls, bathrooms

Bullying is more common at school than on the way to/from school

Children Who Bully are More Likely to:Get into frequent fightsBe injured in a fightSteal, vandalize propertyDrink alcoholSmokeBe truant, drop out of schoolReport poorer academic

achievementPerceive a negative climate at

schoolCarry a weapon

Longitudinal Study of Children who Bullied60% of boys who were bullies in

middle school had at least one conviction by age 24.

40% had three or more convictions.

Bullies were 4 times as likely as peers to have multiple convictions.

(Olweus, 1993)

Children who are bullied have:

Lower self esteem

Higher rates of depression

Higher absenteeism rates

More suicidal ideation

Health Consequences of Bullying (Fekkes et al., 2003)

Bullied Not bullied

Headache 16% 6%Sleep problems 42%

23%Abdominal pain 17% 9%Feeling tense 20% 9%Anxiety 28% 10%Feeling unhappy 23% 5%

Possible Warning Signs that a child is being bullied:

Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings

Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches

Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she spends time

Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs)

Sudden loss of appetite or appears anxious

Takes a long, “illogical” route when walking to or from school

Has lost interest in school work or suddenly

Begins to do poorly in school

Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home

Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments;

Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams;

Suffers from low self-esteem

What should you do if you suspect your child is being bullied?

If your child shows any of these signs, this does notnecessarily mean that he or she is being bullied,but it is a possibility worth exploring. What shouldyou do? Talk with your child and talk with staff atschool to learn more.

1. Talk with your child. Tell your child that you are concerned and that you’d like to help. Here are some questions that can get the discussion going:

What should you do if you suspect your child is being bullied?

Some direct questions:I’m worried about you. Are there

any kids at school who may be picking on you or bullying you?”

“Are there any kids at school who tease you in a mean way?”

“Are there any kids at school who leave you out or

exclude you on purpose?”

What should you do if you suspect your child is being bullied?

Some subtle questions:“Do you have any special friends at school thisyear? Who are they? Who do you hang out

with?”“Who do you sit with at lunch and on the bus?”“Are there any kids at school who you really

don’tlike? Why don’t you like them? Do they ever pickon you or leave you out of things?”

What should I do if my child is bullying others?2. Talk with staff at your child’s school.

Call or set up an appointment to talk with your child’s teacher. Share your concerns about your child and ask the teacher such questions as:◦“How does my child get along with other

students in his or her class?”◦“With whom does he or she spend free

time?”◦“Have you noticed any unusual changes in

the way my child interacts with some of his peers?”

What should I do if my child is bullying others?3. Ask the teacher to talk with other adults who interact with your child at school (such as the

music teacher, physical education teacher, or bus driver) to see whether they have observed students bullying your child.

4. If you are not comfortable talking with your child’s teacher, or if you are not satisfied with the

conversation, make an appointment to meet with your child’s guidance counselor or principal to discuss your concerns.

Bottom line…

If you obtaininformation from yourchild or from staff atyour child’s school

thatleads you to believethat he or she is

beingbullied, take quickaction. Bullying can have serious effects on children.

If, after talking with your

child and staff at his or her

school, you don’t suspect

that your child is being

bullied, stay vigilant to

other possible problems

that your child may be

having. Some of the

warning signs discussed

earlier may be signs of other

serious problems. Share your

concerns with a counselor at

your child’s school!

Parents:

Take Action

!

Interactive Website

Interactive Website:www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov

◦Animated Serial Comic◦Games, polls for tweens◦Advice for tweens◦Resource Kit for adults◦Links to partner groups and activities

Call 1-800-789-2647 or go to www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov for more information

Parent Role Playing Activity: Bullying

Purpose: copying with or stopping bullying Materials: Parent Power Point, copy and cut as

many scenarios as is needed for every two parents—keep in Ziploc until needed

Gardner’s Intelligences: Interpersonal, Visual-linguistic, Intrapersonal

Procedure:◦ Have parents pair up and take turns acting out

the child and parent roles.◦ Have them discuss in pairs other ways of

dealing with the particular situation.◦ As a group discuss the ideas◦ Make a chart as an added visual.◦ Ideas can be transferred to a handout for

added assistance to parents.

Scenario 1You are walking to school and a gang of older bullies demand your money or something else valuable to you. You are quite frightened and all of the sudden you see you mom. What would you say to your mom? What would your mom say to you?

Scenario 2Someone in your class always makes rudecomments about your best friend and says them loud enough for you and others to hear. It really upsets him/her and you are getting so fed up with it. You also know that your friend is starting to be afraid to come to school because of this situation. You want to get help but you just don’t know where to start. So you come home and sit alone in your room refusing to speak to anyone.

Scenario 3

Paul is continually harassed by bullies calling

him names, making comments about his

mother and cussing his family. They are

pushing him around and generally making his life miserable. Paul is

refusing to go to school and fakes he has a

stomachache only that his parents don’t believe

him.

Scenario 4

Josie comes home after school and runs

to her bedroom. When her little brother comes to get her, she slams her

bedroom door. What has caused Josie

to behave in this manner?

ReferencesFekkes, M., Pijpers, F. I. M., & Verloove-VanHorick, S. P. (2004). Bullying

behavior

and associations with pychosomatic complaints and depression in victims.

Journal of Pediatrics, 144, 17-22.

Nansel, T. R., Overpeck, M., Pilla, R. S., Ruan, W. J., Simmons-Morton, B., & Scheidt, P.

(2001). Bullying behaviors among US youth: Prevalence and association with

psychosocial adjustment. Journal of the American Medical Association, 285, 2094-2100.

Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at school: What we know and what we can do. NY:

Blackwell.

Olweus, D., Limber, S., & Mihalic, S. (1999). The bullying prevention program:

Blueprints for violence prevention. Boulder, CO: Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence.