Bullying

• What is Bullying / Cyber Bullying?• Who is a bully?• When does bullying happen?• Where does this occur?• Why does bullying happen?• How?• What can you do to help.

Bullying Definition

• Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:• An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as

physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.

• Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the

potential to happen more than once.• Bullying includes actions such as: making threats, spreading rumors,

attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Types of Bullying

There are three types of bullying:1. Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:

– Teasing– Name-calling– Inappropriate sexual comments– Taunting– Threatening to cause harm

2. Social bullyingSometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:

– Leaving someone out on purpose– Telling other children not to be friends with

someone– Spreading rumors about someone– Embarrassing someone in public

3. Physical bullyingInvolves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:

– Hitting/kicking/pinching– Spitting– Tripping/pushing– Taking or breaking someone’s things– Making mean or rude hand gestures

Where and When Bullying Happens

Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, a significant percentage also happens in places like on the playground or the bus. It can also happen travelling to or from school, in the youth’s neighborhood, or on the Internet.

What is Cyberbullying

• Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites.

• Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.

Why Cyberbullying is Different

• Harder time getting away from the behavior.• Cyberbullying can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,

and reach a kid even when he or she is alone. It can happen any time of the day or night.

• Cyberbullying messages and images can be posted anonymously and distributed quickly to a very wide audience. It can be difficult and sometimes impossible to trace the source.

• Deleting inappropriate or harassing messages, texts, and pictures is extremely difficult after they have been posted or sent.

Effects of Cyberbullying

• Kids who are cyberbullied are more likely to:• Use alcohol and drugs• Skip school• Experience in-person bullying• Be unwilling to attend school• Receive poor grades• Have lower self-esteem• Have more health problems

Warning Signs

• There are many warning signs that may indicate that someone is affected by bullying—either being bullied or bullying others. Recognizing the warning signs is an important first step in taking action against bullying. Not all children who are bullied or are bullying others ask for help.

• It is important to talk with children who show signs of being bullied or bullying others. These warning signs can also point to other issues or problems, such as depression or substance abuse. Talking to the child can help identify the root of the problem.

Signs a Child is Being BulliedLook for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs.• Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are: • Unexplainable injuries• Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may

come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem• Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming

themselves, or talking about suicide

Signs a Child is Bullying Others Kids may be bullying others if they: • Get into physical or verbal fights• Have friends who bully others• Are increasingly aggressive• Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently• Have unexplained extra money or new belongings• Blame others for their problems• Don’t accept responsibility for their actions• Are competitive and worry about their reputation or

popularity

Frequency of Bullying

There are two sources of federally collected data on youth bullying:• The 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for

Disease Control and Prevention) indicates that, nationwide, 20% of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.

• The 2008–2009 School Crime Supplement (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics) indicates that, nationwide, 28% of students in grades 6–12 experienced bullying.

What Parents can do starting NOW

If your child is bullied let them know:There are things you can do if you are being bullied:• Look at the kid bullying you and tell him or her to

stop in a calm, clear voice. You can also try to laugh it off. This works best if joking is easy for them. It could catch the kid bullying you off guard.

• If speaking up seems too hard or not safe, walk away and stay away. Don’t fight back. Find an adult to stop the bullying on the spot.

How to Talk About Bullying

• Parents, school staff, and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying. They can:

• Help kids understand bullying. Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help.

• Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.

• Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.

• Model how to treat others with kindness and respect

Help Kids Understand Bullying

• Kids who know what bullying is can better identify it. They can talk about bullying if it happens to them or others. Kids need to know ways to safely stand up to bullying and how to get help.

• Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are bullied or see others being bullied. The adult can give comfort, support, and advice, even if they can’t solve the problem directly. Encourage the child to report bullying if it happens.

• Talk about how to stand up to kids who bully. Give tips, like using humor and saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about what to do if those actions don’t work, like walking away

• Talk about strategies for staying safe, such as staying near adults or groups of other kids.

• Urge them to help kids who are bullied by showing kindness or getting help.• Watch the short webisodes and discuss them with kids.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Research tells us that children really do look to parents and caregivers for advice and help on tough decisions. Sometimes spending 15 minutes a day talking can reassure kids that they can talk to their parents if they have a problem. Start conversations about daily life and feelings with questions like these:1. What was one good thing that happened today? Any bad things?2. What is lunch time like at your school? Who do you sit with?

What do you talk about?3. What is it like to ride the school bus?4. What are you good at? What would do you like best about

yourself?

Assure kids that they are not alone in addressing any problems that arise. Start conversations about bullying with questions like these:

• What does “bullying” mean to you?• Describe what kids who bully are like. Why do you think people bully?• Who are the adults you trust most when it comes to things like bullying?• Have you ever felt scared to go to school because you were afraid of

bullying? What ways have you tried to change it?• What do you think parents can do to help stop bullying?• Have you or your friends left other kids out on purpose? Do you think that

was bullying? Why or why not?• What do you usually do when you see bullying going on?• Do you ever see kids at your school being bullied by other kids? How does

it make you feel?• Have you ever tried to help someone who is being bullied? What

happened? What would you do if it happens again?

There are simple ways that parents and caregivers can keep up-to-date with kids’ lives.

• Read class newsletters and school flyers. Talk about them at home.

• Check the school website• Go to school events• Greet the bus driver• Meet teachers and counselors at “Back to School”

night or reach out by email• Share phone numbers with other kids’ parents• Teachers and school staff also have a role to play.

PARENTS – TEACHERS - CARGIVERSGet Involved and Provide Help

What you can do if you see there is a problem with any child at:

At homeAt school

In your communitySpread the word and share resources

The problem: What you can do:

There has been a crime or someone is at immediate risk of harm. Call 911.

Someone is feeling hopeless, helpless, thinking of suicide. Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline online or at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).The toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in our national network. These centers provide 24-hour crisis counseling and mental health referrals.

Someone is acting differently than normal, such as always seeming sad or anxious, struggling to complete tasks, or not being able care for themselves.

Find a local counselor or other mental health services

A child is being bullied in school. 

Contact the:1.Teacher2.School counselor3.School principal4.School superintendent5.State Department of EducationSee more on working with the school.

The school is not adequately addressing harassment based on race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or religion.

Contact:•School superintendent•State Department of Education•U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights•U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division

Resources

• http://www.stopbullying.gov• www.ncpc.gov

-Thank you for your support-Officer Denise Randles

Herndon Police Department – Crime Prevention Section

Denise.randles@herndon-va.gov703-435-6846 x 2343