BULLETIN EDITOR NOVEMBER - DECEMBER 2016

Merry Christmas fellow Lions

We are now coming into the festive season, busyness, parties, catching up

with friends and family, Stewart and I wish everyone who receives this

Bulletin, being Lionsonoz members, and everyone in the wider Lions family

a very Merry and Joyous Christmas and a Happy and New Year.

Our next trip is to Bungendore Bush Balladeers festival beginning of

February.

Happy and safe travelling and hope to catch up with you during 2017

Congratulations Yvie & Kel the the latest addition.

Articles for the Bulletin to be emailed to Lion Marge Ollis by 7th of each month please.

marge@skymesh.com.au. or bluetruck@skymesh.com.au.

Until next time, Regards Lion Marge

No. 11 & 12 • Volume.8

Web: www.lionsonoz.nsw.lions.org.au

Postal Address:

PO Box 477, Inverell NSW 2360

President: Lion Bernie Donchi

Secretary: Lion Gwyneth Payne

Treasurer: Lion Arthur Leach

Membership: Lion Stewart Payne

Bulletin Editor: Lion Marge Ollis

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THE LIONS CLUB OF

Minutes Monthly Meeting October 17th 2016

1 Present: Lions: Lions Stewart Payne, Gwyneth Payne, Rod Payne, Brenda Payne,

Bernie Donchi, Jan Donchi, Warren White, Ted Pickwell, Hazel Pickwell, Barry

Gazzard, Janice Clifford Bernie Clifford, Marge Ollis, Neil Bilney, Pauline Bilney, Yvie

Kearns, Kel Kearns, Jeff Mott, John Matheson, Ted Hughes, Dianne Hughes, Arthur

Leech, Alan Large, Bob Buckley, Cheryl Buckley, Don McLeod

Lions Ladies: Betty-Anne White, Ling Gazzard, Lynne Mott, Sherril Matheson, Wendy

Leech, Ros Large

Guests: Emma -Lee Knight Rotaract

2 Apologies: Lions Andrew Payne, Debbie Weekes, Trish Hyett, Darlene Lawler, Phil

Lawler, Rolly Williams, Angela Williams, Sandra Philippzig, Peter Philippzig Arthur

James, Tony Petersen, Lesley Petersen

Motion: That the apologies be accepted. Moved: Lion Marge Ollis Seconded: Lion Arthur Leech Carried: Yes

3 Welcome of Members and Guests

President Bernie Donchi welcomed Members and Guests.

4 Protocol established: That the Lions Club of Australian Lionsonoz recognises, Past Multiple District Officers,

Past District Governors, District Cabinet Officers past and present, The President of the

Lions Club of Australian Lionsonoz Lion Bernie Donchi, and Lions, Lions Ladies and

Partners of Australian Lionsonoz.

All speakers may now be addressed as “Lion…”

5 Lions Clubs International Purposes: Lion Warren White posted the International Purposes for all to read aloud. 6 Confirmation of Minutes: Motion: That the Minutes of the previous meeting held

September 19th 2016 as emailed to members be accepted. Moved: Lion Ted Pickwell Seconded: Lion John Matheson Carried: yes

7 Business Arising from the Minutes

Nil

8 Correspondence 8.1 Inward Correspondence as emailed to members

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8.1.1 Grant NSW Senior Citizens Festival 8.1.2 Carringbah Lions Bulletin September 8.1.3 Global membership Team Letter to Clubs 8.1.4 Notices of Motion 201N1 District Convention 2016 8.1.5 YOTY Finals Venue YOTY Chairman 8.1.6 Convention Program Taree 201N1 8.1.7 Convention Registration Taree 201N1 8.1.8 Club Health Check 8.1.9 Stop the Drop 8.1.10 201N1 Convention Information 2016 8.1.11 YOTY Merchandise 8.1.12 Lions Mints Newsletter 8.1.14 Monthly Mail out Cab Sec 201N1 8.1.15 Child Protection Program YOTY 8.1.16 Carringbah Lions Newsletter October 8.1.17 District Newsletter 201N1 8.1.18 Loomis Lions Newsletter 8.2 Outwards Correspondence Nil Motion: That the incoming correspondence and the outgoing correspondence be endorsed as emailed to members. Moved: Lion Hazel Pickwell Seconded: Lion Don McLeod Carried: Yes

9 Business Arising from the Correspondence:

Nil

10. President’s Report: The Presidents Report will be posted in the September Bulletin 11. Treasurer’s

Report: Motion: That the Treasurer’s Report for September 2016 be accepted as emailed. Moved: Lion Arthur Leech Seconded: Lion Don McLeod Against: No Carried yes

12. General Business: 12.1 Lions Centenary Celebration update from Lion Jeff Mott Lion Jeff Mott noted that they were having a meeting here at Dawson River Caravan Park on Friday morning at 9.00am and any member who wishes to come along will be made most welcome. 12.2 Publicity update from PDG Lion Warren White Lion Warren White noted that he had sent an abridged copy of the Centennial News

12.3 December Meeting. Motion: That as per in the past the December Meeting be cancelled and an informal get together on Skype take place for those who wish. Moved: Lion Gwyneth Payne Seconded: Lion Hazel Pickwell Carried: Yes 12.4 District Governors Visit DG Mal Peters

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The District Governors Visit is scheduled for February 20th 2017 online as usual. President Bernie Donchi asked that members updated their diaries.

13. Membership: Presented by Lion Stewart Payne 13.1 Induction of Denise Clarke Lion Stewart payne noted that Denise Clarke would be inducted in Taree this weekend at a date yet to be set. 13.2 Request for Transfer Lion Trish Hyett Lion Stewart Payne noted that an email was received from Lion Trish Hyett who has asked to be transferred to Ingleburn Lions Club. Emailed received 17th October 2016 Hi Gwyneth

Would you please set in motion arrangements for me to transfer to the LC Ingleburn

District 201N2. Syd transferred here twelve months ago and I've been helping at most

of their projects, so I guess it makes sense to join them.

Words can never express the thanks I have for Lionsonoz, they were there for me

when I had hit rock bottom where Lions was concerned. Without this wonderful club, I

would have walked away from what is really an integral part of my life.

Gwyneth, please, pass on my very, very sincere appreciation to all members of

Lionsonoz for having made me regain my faith Lions; it has been wonderful meeting so

many more "family" members, and I look forward to catching up with you at future MD

Conventions.

Warmest wishes,

Trish

Motion: That Lion Trish Hyett’s request for transfer to Ingleburn Lions Club be

approved.

Moved: Lion Stewart Payne

Seconded: Lion Arthur Leech

Carried: Yes

President Bernie Donchi noted that we are sorry to see Trish go. Hope all goes well

with the transfer and we see each other again soon. It was a pleasure having her in our

club.

14. Business without notice: Nil

Any Non-Urgent Business without notice to be tabled and brought to November

Meeting.

15. Service Hours:

1. Lion Gwyneth Payne 10 hours administration.

2. Lion Alan Large 15 hours’ storm clean up.

3. Lion Ted Hughes 2 hours’ ring pulls.

4. Lion Yvie Kearns Convention prep 12 hours.

5. Lion Marge Ollis 5 hours Bulletin, sewing and knitting 5 hours, DG N2 Visit

McArthur Lions 3 hours, 5 hours Committee Camden Valley Country Music.

6. Lion John Matheson 30 minutes collecting used glasses.

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7. Lion Jan Donchi 14 hours knitting.

8. Lion Kel Kearns 10 hours’ preparation for the Convention.

9. Lion Warren White 3 hours used spectacles, 2 hours used stamps, 2 hours

meeting Lake Cathie Lions Club, 1 hour working on web site, 2 hours DG visit to

Kootingal Lions Club.

10. Lion Ted Pickwell Meals on Wheels 4 hours, Community Driving 12 hours,

Senior Citizens Committee 2 hours.

11. Lion Hazel Pickwell 32 hours Community Driving, 4 hours Meals on Wheels,

Hospital Auxiliary 8 hours.

12. Lion Don McLeod 5 hours Zone Meeting at Wooli

13. Lion Arthur Leech 6 hours’ administration.

14. Lion Stewart payne Necrology and Welfare for District 201N1 and MD Lion

Vanners 20 hours.

15. Lions Lady Lynne Mott ring pulls 1 hour

16. Lion Jeff Mott JP work 2 hours, 30 hours assisting Senior Citizen Widow GT

Falcons to Nambucca 10 hours.

17. Lions Bernie and Janice Clifford 8 hours each visiting sick or hardship Lions.

18. Lion Yvie Kearns 8 hours knitting.

16. Where Members Are: 1. Lion John and Sherril Matheson Taree NSW 2. Lion Alan and Ros Large Snowtown SA 3. Lions Don and Helen Mcleod Grafton NSW 4. Lions Stewart and Gwyneth Payne Inverell NSW 5. Lion Rod and Brenda Payne Inverell NSW 6. Lion Marge and Stewart Ollis Camden NSW 7. Lions Ted and Hazel Pickwell Denman NSW 8. Lion Arthur and Wendy Leech Terranora NSW 9. Lions Dianne and Ted Hughes Carnarvon WA 10. Lions Bernie and Jan Donchi Nabiac NSW 11. Lion Jeff Mott and Lynne Taree NSW 12. Lions Pauline and Neil Bilney Sunshine Coast QLD 13. Lions Cheryl and Bob Buckley Lake Cathie NSW 14. Lion Warren and Betty-Anne White Tamworth NSW 15. Lions Yvie and Kel Kearns Woolgoolga NSW 16. Lion Bernie and Janice Clifford Bundoora VIC

17. Fines:

1. Lion Gwyneth Payne fined Lion Rod Payne for reading a magazine in the

meeting.

2. Lion John Matheson fined Lion Jeff Mott for knocking on the side of the van

saying police calling.

3. Lion Stewart Payne fined Lion Gwyneth Payne for making him come back to the

east coast to the rain when we should be in WA looking for Gold.

4. Lion Gwyneth Payne fined Lion Stewart Payne for polishing the scratches on the

F250 and making it a different colour.

5. Lion Bernie Donchi fined Lion Jan Donchi for swearing when knitting with 4

needles.

18. Meeting Closed: 7.29pm

Date Confirmed: 21/11/16 President Lion Bernie Donchi

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Members of THE LIONS CLUB OF AUSTRALAN LIONSONOZ – End November 2016

Members Members

Lion Kel Kearns

Lion Yvie Kearns

Lion Neil Bilney

Lion Pauline Bilney

Lion Stewart Payne

Lion Gwyneth Payne

Lion Sandra Philippzig

Lion Peter Philippzig

PDG Lion Warren White

Lions Lady Betty-Anne White

Lion Cheryl Buckley

PCC Lion Bob Buckley

Lion Tony Petersen

Lion Lesley Petersen

Lion Jeff Mott

Lions Lady Lynne Mott

Lion Arthur Leech

Lions Lady Wendy Leech

Lion Bernie Donchi

Lion Jan Donchi

Lion Rod Payne

Lion Brenda Payne

Lion Rolly Williams

Lion Angela Williams

Lion Andrew Payne Lion Marge Ollis

Partner Lion Stewart Ollis

Lion Barry Gazzard

Lions Lady Ling Gazzard

Lion Ted Hughes

Lion Dianne Hughes

Lion Lesley Winters

Partner Lion John Winters

Lion Bernie Clifford

Lion Janice Clifford

Lion Ted Pickwell

Lion Hazel Pickwell

Lion Don McLeod

Partner Lion Helen McLeod

PDG Lion Reg Languish Lion Arthur James

Lion Debbie Weekes

Partner Lion Brad Weekes

Lion John Matheson

Lions Lady Sherril

Lion Brian Bourke

Lions Lady Helga Bourke

Lion Rhonda Courtney

Partner Glenn

Lion Alan Large

Lions Lady Ros

Lion Richard Edkins

Lions Lady Bev Edkins

PCC Phil Lawler

Lion Darlene Lawler

Lion Denise Clarke

Partner PCC Peter Clarke

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SECRETARY’S REPORT – NOVEMBER 2016 Remember that there is no meeting in December although if you wish to be

online on December 19 th 2016 same time 6pm for 6.30pm for a chat.

Remember to wear your Christmas garb and have the normal Christmas cheer

on hand.

Have a safe and Happy Christmas and New Year!

Regards

Lion Gwyneth Payne

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MEMBERSHIP REPORT – NOVEMBER 2016 We have an enquiry from a Lions Club who had person interested in joining Lions who would be in that town for about 7 month or more and who then wished to continue travelling. The query was basically to gain further information about Australian Lionsonoz so that they could pass this on to the prospective new Lion. Having some background information from our Cab Secretary already they had decided that it would be better for the prospective Lion to join

their Lions Club initially so that they could be supported. We certainly agreed with this approach and provided them with the additional information they requested. We are pleased to welcome newly transferred member Lion Brian Bourke to our Lions Club we hope that he enjoys his travels and our unique Lions Club. Please! Remember to wear your lapel pin every day! Have a Safe and Happy Christmas with family and friends!

Regards

Lion Stewart Payne

RECYCLING REPORT – NOVEMBER 2016

9

No report for this month

As usual we still must point out to those who enquire about the ring pulls that we do not dispose of them ourselves we pass them on to a Lions Club. such as Inverell McIntyre Lions Club.

Wishing everyone a Safe Christmas and New Year! Regards

Lion Brenda

COMING EVENTS DIARY DATES FOR 2017 - 2018

MD CONVENTION – HOBART – 5 – 8 MAY 2017

BOOGABRI DROVERS CAMP FIRE – 26 – 30 APRIL, 2017

DISTRICT 201N1 CONVENTION – INVERELL NSW – 13 – 15 OCTOBER 2017

DISTRICT 201N1 CONVENTION – SOUTH WEST ROCKS NSW – 19 – 21 OCTOBER 2018

MD CONVENTION TOWNSVILLE QLD – 4 – 7 MAY 2018

PRESIDENT’S REPORT - NOVEMBER 2016

10

Well, we start this report with our trip to Taree for the Convention. What a fantastic weekend.

Absolutely great to see some more faces of Lionsonoz. It was also great to see so many of our

club at the Convention. I have had many Lions expressing just how impressed they are with our

turnout at Conventions. We are usually one of the largest contingents there. I won’t go into what

we all attended and which speakers and entertainers kept us amused, as it has already been

covered in other reports. Enough to say that all were exceptional and we enjoyed it immensely.

It was also very pleasing to induct Lion Denise Clarke into the Club on the weekend. Good

decision Lion Denise, welcome to Lionsonoz and have a very merry time with us.

While we are on membership, it was also our pleasure to accept Lion Brian Bourke of the Lions

Club of Manning River, as a Transfer in to our club at the last meeting. Welcome also Lion

Brian. I am anticipating a most enjoyable pre-christmas weekend at the Taylors Arm ”Pub With

No Beer” which I know you are attending.

As it has just been mentioned, I have put it to the club that Jan and I are going to the Pub with

no Beer for a camping weekend, on the Reserve opposite, as a warm up for Christmas. Some

of you have indicated that you are attending also. It should be a great weekend especially now

that Brian is attending – lots of fun for everyone.

Following on from the Taree Convention, Jan and I headed off home to Freddo where we have

been ever since. Upon arriving home, we immediately contacted the builder who was repairing

our house and finally got the job finished. This is one builder I will not recommend to anyone.

As this is the last report before Christmas, I would like to wish each and every one of you a very

merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Yours in Lionism

President Lion Bernie

MY PHOTO OF THE

MONTH

11

The latest addition to the Kearns family

Alexandra Thomas Kearns with his dad Ray

Kearns

“WELCOME TO OUR WORLD SON”

Boy, Oh

Boy!

Your life

will be

filled with

riotous

joy;

you’re in

for it now; boy, oh boy!

Your new and thrilling life

begins,

Full of baby boy coos and

mischievous grins.

He'll use every trick and

baby ploy

To get your

attention...your baby

boy.

Soon he'll crawl, explore

and run;

His boyish adventures

will never be done.

So don't waste time with

your newest toy,

He'll be grown in a

moment, your cute baby

boy.

Yvie Kearns

Forever safe in his Daddy’s Hands

KNITTING REPORT – October, 2016

I would like to take the opportunity to wish you all a very

Merry Christmas

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And

The best new year possible with good

health and many happy days……..

Look forward with optimism to the year

which lies before us.

The seasons have come and gone pretty quickly this year. Maybe because things

have been more hectic than usual, maybe it’s because we are getting older.

What a wonderful time we all had in Taree, meeting up with members from

Australian Lionsonoz for the first time and sharing stories with longer term

Lions.

What a surprise I got when Rhonda Courtney arrived at Happy Hour with her

bags of knitting. Some of the Teddies have already found nice homes with little

children loving them. Thank you so much Rhonda you contribution to my

knitting cupboard is very much appreciated.

Sandra Philippzip did very well with her first time Teddies and I believe she is

doing extremely well.

I was approached by a Woolgoolga Lion the other day letting me know that she

has been making beanies and mittens for Father Riley’s “Kids off the Streets”

Thanks to all who have assisted me during the first part of this Lions Year.

Yvie Kearns

FISHING REPORT – NOVEMBER 2016

Fishing Woes

The sport of fishing is not all beer and skittles as some of the TV shows lead us to believe.

Take for example one of my regular fishing trips this month.

On arriving at Keepit Dam, I decided not to use the launching ramp but to launch my “tinnie”

from the banks, near the Sailing Club.

That was alright as the Dam is now 99% full and the launching was quite easy. I headed for my

favourite fishing spot only to find that the tree I normally tie up to at the start of my excursions

13

was completely under water, so I found other trees still visible to try and if no joy, to move on

to another spot. I caught 2 nice Yellowbellies and when that spot petered out I kept on moving.

About 4 pm I headed for my favourite spot again to try and find a branch of my favourite tree I

could tie up to.

I found it all right. I ran right over the top of it. Luckily I was going dead slow otherwise it

could have capsized me as the four thick branches were only a couple of millimetres below the

surface of the water. I got stuck!

Suddenly I was perched on top of 3 of the branches with no way to get off. The propeller could

not reach the water and try as I might to rock the boat or to push and pull using the remaining

branch, I was stuck!

After an age (possibly 20 or 30 minutes) I was ready to give up and resign myself to spending a

night in the boat, when a power boat came into view and I was able to convince him I was in

trouble so he threw me a rope and he towed me off the snag. End of drama No. 1.

On reaching the shore where my car parked I was horrified to discover I had left the parking

lights on for the past 6 hours and my battery was dead flat. No problem, I thought. I pulled out

my battery booster from the boot, attached it to the battery and turned the key….nothing! I had

forgotten to charge it up this month, hadn’t I?

I used my mobile phone to call the entrance office, asking if there was someone there that could

help me. No! All the staff were at a meeting somewhere, not at the dam and it was almost knock

off time anyway. The lass said she would ask the next car that came to try to help me. In the

meantime I was in another spot of bother. I badly wanted to use the toilet and the amenities

block was a good 500 yards away and to top that I had been having a bout of gout so walking

was quite painful. However I just had to make the “journey”. So I hobbled along on the rough

ground and made it, just in time.

On my painful way back, a car came along so I hailed it and the guy offered to take me back to

my car and assist with a jump start. However when getting there he informed me he did not

have jumper leads and of course I relied on my booster so I had none as well.

We unhooked the boat trailer and he towed me all over the place to clutch start the car but the

battery was so flat, this just didn’t work.

Another car came along with jumper leads but they were so tiny and thin that they would not

be capable of doing the job at all. So off he went. In the meantime I rang NRMA who said they

would send someone out from Gunnedah to assist.

While waiting, a man came by on a pushbike who offered to help so he rode back to his

camping spot and brought his car back with a gadget that I did not know existed. A personal

power pack which was about the size of a block of chocolate. This will never work I thought.

He hooked it up and the car started better than it has ever done. (I will have to get one of these I

thought). I offered him one of my fish for his trouble, but he declined the offer saying he had no

way of cleaning or filleting it.

I then contacted the NRMA and was lucky enough to catch the mechanic before he left

Gunnedah so I then went to the cleaning table to clean the fish. I won’t tell you about the

Hungarian who pulled up just as I was about to start the cleaning process and held me up for a

further half an hour while we swopped fishing stories.

14

After cleaning and filleting the fish and cleaning the boat (all this lengthy time with the motor

running) I searched the camping area until I found my Good Samaritan and gave him the

bigger of the two fish, Filleted, to repay him for his help.

So there you are, an exciting day with only one fish to show for it.

Lion Warren

……… Of all times, I forgot to take any photos.

Fishing News Update (2015)

It was the Friday night a week before Christmas 2015.

“Do you really want to go to the Kootingal Bowling

Club for their raffles and members draw?” I said “I

would rather go fishing”.

So there I was fishing away without getting a bite. At

7pm it was quite light but I had had enough so I

reeled my line in and when the bait, of live shrimp,

was about 6inches under the surface a 40cm

Yellowbelly grabbed it. My only fish.

I was quite happy with it until I received a phone call

the next morning to gaily tell me that if we had been

at the Club I would have heard my membership

number come out and we would have walked off

with $1,300.

It was a most expensive fish! (Tasted good on the

barbie though)

Lion Warren

ED: It looks like this article got lost last Christmas. I am

sure I haven’t included it before. Enjoy

Fishing News

It is December and the Cod fishing season is now in full

swing. No Murray Cod can be taken between 30th

September and 1st December each year, except in

Copeton Dam where there is no closed season.

I tried my luck for Cod last week but was not at the

right spot at the right time. However I had a lot of fun

with some really big European Carp.

A very expensive Yellowbelly

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It has been some time since I have caught Carp in Keepit Dam but this time they seemed to be

fired up. This one came home with me to be used as garden fertiliser and bait for my Shrimp

traps.

The Carp have been misaligned by most Australians as being rubbish fish but the European and

Asian migrants love them. I have eaten one. They are similar to Paul Hogan’s Witchetty Grubs

“You can eat them but they taste like s^%#t”. Not really, they are a bit bland but if treated with

a few herbs and spices they could be quite acceptable. You have to watch out for the myriad of

forked bones.

I am waiting with trepidation for the authorities to release the Carp virus into our waterways.

Can you imagine hundreds of tons of fish like this rotting around rivers and dams? It will be a

health hazard for months, but what a benefit to fishing if we can rid our waters of this pest.

They are great fun to catch.

Off to the coast next week to have a go at the Flathead and Bream.

Lion Warren

-

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Birthdays & Anniversaries

BIRTHDAYS FOR NOVEMBER

18th November Pauline Bilney

29th Lesley Petersen

ANNIVERSARIES FOR NOVEMBER

10th November Jan & Bernie Donchi

18th Peter & Sandra Philippzig

BIRTHDAYS FOR DECEMBER

10th December Arthur Leech

19th December Ted Hughes

21st December Neil Bilney

24th December S herril Matheson

28th December J anice Clifford

30th December Cheryl Buckley

ANNIVERSARIES FOR DECEMBER

12th December Rod & Brenda Payne

BIRTHDAYS FOR JANUARY

3rd January Stewart Ollis

11th Lesley Winters

12th John Winters

15th Betty Anne White

16th Rolly Williams

23rd Darlene Lawler

26th Brian Bourke

Lion Sandra

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Australian Lionsonoz in Action

Australian Lionsonoz Club member,

Lion John Matheson lives in an over

50’s Lifestyle Resort in the suburb of

Eagleby, Brisbane, which has about

660 residents. This year he has sold 40

x 1.5kg cakes and 15 x 900gm

puddings, which he delivered to the

residents. He had put an order sheet

up in both club houses for the cakes

and puddings for about six weeks

prior to delivery, letting the residents

know when he would be delivering

them.

As the Australian Lionsonoz Club

does not have any fundraising

facilities, Lion John sells the Lions

Christmas Cakes and Puddings on

behalf of the Lions Club of Ormeau Inc.,

which is close to where he lives.

Lion John’s “profit” is the hours he can

claim, assisting a main stream Lions Club.

Next year he is going to try something

different if the Craft Ladies will let him.

Around the end of November each year the village Ladies Craft Group have an

annual market day where all groups within the village can sell anything that they

make, nothing can be brought in that is not made in the village and there are some

very talented people living in there, from woodwork, painting, sewing, quilting,

card making, jewellery etc.

He is going to ask them if they can forego the cost of having a stall, and bringing

goods in that are not made here, so that he can sell the cakes and puddings, it is

assumed he could increase his sales by a fair amount by doing this.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lion John is pictured here delivering

Lions cakes and puddings to the

residents using his golf buggy as a

“Christmas sleigh”.

18

19

A silent reminder of the dangers of

shopping together.................

Husband Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local

supermarket.

The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in

their cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"They're on sale, only $20 for 24 cans" he replies.

"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands

the wife.

They carry on shopping.

A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $40

jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the

husband.

"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,"

replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of beer and

it's half the price."

That's him, there in Aisle 5.

………………………………………… From June Northern Lion Dist 201Q2

20

Tail Twisters REPORT

Lion Kel Kearns

Tally of fines to September, 2016

Name C/Forward Fines Paid Owing/

Lion Neil Bilney 3.00 3.00

Lion Pauline Bilney 6.00 6.00

Lion Cheryl Buckley 1.00 1.00

PCC Bob Buckley 18.00 18.00

PDG Bernie Clifford 3.00 3.00

Lion Janice Clifford 0.00 0.00

Lion Bernie Donchi 24.00 24.00

Lion Jan Donchi 25.00 1 24.00

Lion Barry Gazzard 12.00 12.00

Lions Lady Ling Gazzard 1.00 1.00

Lion Ted Hughes 0.00 0.00

Lion Kel Kearns 22.00 22.00

Lion Yvie Kearns 19.00 19.00

Lion Reg Langusch 6.00 13.00

Lion Arthur Leech 11.00 11.00

Lion Wendy Leech 17.00 17.00

Lion Don McLeod 4.00 4.00

Lion Jeff Mott 17.00 1 16.00

Lions Lady Lyn Mott 13.00 13.00

Lion Marge Ollis 28.00 28.00

Partner Lion Stewart Ollis 31.00 31.00

Lion Andrew Payne 16.00 16.00

Lion Brenda Payne 10.00 10.00

Lion Rod Payne 19.00 1 18.00

Lion Gwyneth Payne 15.00 2 13.00

Lion Stewart Payne 24.00 1 23.00

Lion Lesley Peterson 28.00 28.00

Lion Tony Peterson 65.00 65.00

Lion Peter Philippzip 14.00 14.00

Lion Sandra Philippzip 14.00 14.00

Lion Ted Pickwell 9.00 9.00

Lion Hazel Pickwell 12.00 12..00

Lion Debbie Weeks 0.00 0.00

Partner Brad Weeks 1.00 1.00

Lions Lady Betty-Ann White 8.00 8.00

PDG Warren White 27.00 27.00

Lion Angela Williams 5.00 5.00

Lion Rolly Williams 1.00 1.00

Lion Lesley Winters 12.00 12.00

Partner Lion John Winters 40.00 40.00

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Lion Dianne Hughes 0.00 0.00

Lion Ted Hughes 0.00 0.00

Lion Rhonda Courtney 0.00 0.00

Lion James Arthur 5.00 5.00

Lion John Matheson 1.00 1.00

Lions Lady Sherril Matheson 0.00 0.00

Lion Alan Large 10.00 10.00

Lions Lady Ros Large 0.00

Lion Brian Bourke 0.00 0.00

Lions Lady Helga Bourke 0.00 0.00

Lion Denise Clarke 0.00 0.00

Partner Lion Peter Clarke 0.00 0.00

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND

ALL THE VERY BEST FOR

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY

NEW YEAR

Thank you all for participating in our fines programs

Kel Kearns

Beautiful story.... makes you understand that things happen for a reason

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to

reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on

December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

22

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm - hit the area and

lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw

that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do

but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity, so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the

opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a

sheet. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?" The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials 'EBG' were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria .

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten

"The Tablecloth". The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria . When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it

for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home. That was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn

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on the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost

full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood, continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it

was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike?

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her

safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again in all the 35 years between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They

drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment,

knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

T rue story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid who says God does work in

mysterious ways. (Sent to me via the internet.Ed)

WHY IS IT SO?

1… WHY: ??

Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?

BECAUSE:

When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most

people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left.

Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And

that's where women's buttons have remained since.

2.... WHY:

Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help?

BECAUSE:

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This comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning 'help me' - and is pronounced, approximately,

'mayday.'

3.... WHY

Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'?

BECAUSE:

In France , where tennis became popular, the round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was

called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'the egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US , Americans

(naturally), mispronounced it 'love.'

4.... WHY:

Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?

BECAUSE:

In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using

an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the

kiss eventually became synonymous.

5... WHY:

Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'?

BECAUSE:

In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate

whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass

the buck' to the next player.

6… WHY:

Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?

BECAUSE:

In earlier times it used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned

drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount

of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his

host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.

7… WHY:

Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'?

BECAUSE:

Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which

produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the Centre of attention.

8... WHY:

Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?

BECAUSE:

Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If

someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

9… WHY:

In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from?

BECAUSE:

When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she

loved the Scots game 'golf.' He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make

sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military

school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea

in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day' and the

Scots changed it into caddie.

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10… WHY:

Why are many coin collection jar banks shaped like pigs?

BECAUSE:

Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people

saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter

misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

AND NOW YOU KNOW THE ORIGINS OF SOME OF OUR STRANGE CUSTOMS... ………………………….

Reminders

The Normal Meeting of the Lions Club of Australian Lionsonoz will

be held January 16th 2017, 6pm for 6.30pm start NSW Time.

Please review the agenda and participate in the meeting via email, Skype, SMS or phone. Your

participation is very important and will greatly assist the unique nature of our Club to function

and become a strong cohesive Club.

If you are unable to participate in the meeting or comment on the agenda items prior to the

meeting via email, Skype, SMS or phone could you please contact Secretary Lion Gwyneth

Payne at lionsonoz@lionsdistrict201n1.org.au or 0439258644