Bugsy Malone Dance Mobs 2018 Final - frintontheatregroup.co.uk€¦ · BUGSY: (Enters) [ CUE -...

BUGSYMALONE(DANCEMOBS)2019:PAGE1


SCE N E 1 : ROXY GE TS I T

FAT SAM, ROXY, YONKERS, BENNY, BRONX CHARLIE, BUGSY

FAT SAM: Someone once said, if it was raining brains, Roxy Robinson wouldn’t even get wet. In all of Frinton they didn’t come much dumber than Roxy the Weasel. To be frank, Roxy was a dope. Dumb as Roxy was, he could smell trouble like other people could smell gas. But believe yous me, he should never have taken that blind alley by the side of Greggs the bakers.

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] – [ B A C K G R O U N D DARK ALLEY WAY ]

(Roxy walking nervously, Bronx Charlie, Benny, Yonkers, Doodle following menacingly)

[ CUE - ROXY INTRO ]

BRONX CHARLIE: Yonkers, the alley-way quick. He’s making for the Triangle. Benny cover the back. Doodle watch the sidewalk. BRONX CHARLIE: Your name Robinson? ROXY: Uh huh YONKERS: Roxy Robinson? ROXY: (nods) BENNY: The same Roxy the Weasel who works for Fat Sam? ROXY: Uh huh BRONX CHARLIE: Let him have it boys!

(ROXY gets spurged, gang walks off uniformly and confidently.) FAT SAM: Whatever game it was everyone was playing, sure as eggs is eggs, Roxy the Weasel had been scrambled. BUGSY: (Enters)

[ CUE - BUGSY MALONE ]

[ CURTAIN C L O S E ]


[ CUE - FAT SAM INTRO ]

FAT SAM: Now my friends I should be filling yous in a little. This guy yous just been looking at is the hero of our story. The name of Bugsy Malone. A nice guy. A little too popular with the broads for my liking, but a nice guy all the same. Yous gonna be seeing a lot of Bugsy, but I should warn yous. In all my years I've never come across a story so lame brained as this one. Oh by the ways. I almost forget. My name’s Sam. Fat Sam. On account of my physique. I ain’t no dumb bum, and just between you and me, what you’re about to see ain’t no bookstore. This is my place, Fat Sam’s Grand Slam, the best joint in town.


SCE N E 2: F AT S AM 'S GRA ND SL AM

FAT SAM, BUGSY, FIZZY, BLOUSEY, BARTENDER, EXTRAS SITTING AT TABLES

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D FAT SAMS PLACE ]

FAT SAM: (enters from front curtain opening) Ooh Bugsy, just the person. BUGSY: Hey, what's up? FAT SAM: That blasted Dandy Dan. That's what's up! He's been stealing my best girls again. We're a week away from the most important show of my life and things are falling apart. BUGSY: So what do you want me to do? FAT SAM: Bugsy, I'm in a jam. Roxy is missing, another two of my best broads have left me, and Dandy Dan's breathing down my neck. You've got connections, right? You're one for the girls? BUGSY: Yeah I guess, but..... FAT SAM: But nothing! I need girls. Lots of girls. Pretty girls. Talented girls. We've gotta put on a performance that's going to put Fat Sam's back on the map! BLOUSEY: (Enters looking around the club) BUGSY: Sure, but I still don't see what I can.... FAT SAM: Look. Dandy Dan has been after this place for years and if we don't win the next show we're out of business. Out of business! Fat Sam doesn't go out of business! You can find me some girls, right Bugsy? I'll make it worth your while. (gets out wad of cash) BUGSY: Oh, why didn't you say so. Sure, I'll do it.... Hey, how about her? (points at Blousey and walks towards her). See, I’ve found one already FAT SAM: Whatever! I haven’t got time for this Bugsy. You sort it. Anything you need, I'll be in my office. (leaves stage right) BUGSY: (approaches Blousey) Hey, how you doing? You a dancer? No? A singer, right? (Blousey pulls out bat) Ohhhh, a base-ball player. BLOUSEY: Zip the lip, wisey. I’m in no mood for conversation. BUGSY: You don’t like me? BLOUSEY: Listen, wisey. I’m surprised you don’t stoop with all that dandruff on your shoulders. FIZZY: If she’s here about an audition, Bugsy, she’s got a long wait. I’ve been trying for months and months. BLOUSEY: Really? What do you do?


FIZZY: I’m only the greatest tap dancer on earth. BLOUSEY: You are? FIZZY: Of course I are. I cross my heart. But all he ever says is come back tomorrow. I ask ya, just how many times can I come back tomorrow? BLOUSEY: (Sighs, starts to walk away) BUGSY: Hey, where you going? Don’t listen to Fizzy. I know the boss here. You want a job? I'm your man. BLOUSEY: Really? BUGSY: Yeah. Fat Sam’s put me in charge of the entertainment. What do you do? BLOUSEY: I’m an actress, singer too. Some day I’m going to go to Hollywood. I’ve been dreaming about it since I was a little kid. BUGSY: Hollywood? I can help you with that. BLOUSEY: You can? BUGSY: Yeah. Fizzy, show her to Fat Sam's office will ya. FIZZY: (Dejected) Sure Bugsy. BUGSY: Hey, turn that frown upside down. I’ll put in a good word for you too. FIZZY: Really? BUGSY: Yeah.

(Fizzy leads Blousey off right Bugsy approaches bar)

BUGSY: (to Bartender) : What’s up witch you? You look like you’ve put your face on backwards this morning. BARTENDER: You’ve got too much mouth, mack. BUGSY: So I’ll tell my dentist.

(Tallulah’s girls run on screaming and happy)

[ CUE - FAT SAM’S GRAND SLAM ]


FAT SAM: (Enters) So anyways, where were we? Oh yeah. Dandy Dan. He’s the villain in our story. A nasty piece of work, the type of person you’ll find in Clacton after sundown. He’d sell his own grandma for a slice of the action. Now, Dan and I have been at it like cats and dogs for years, but lately it’s gotten serious. You see,


those meddlers from the Frinton Residents Association have had their say, and the word on the streets is that there’s only room for one joint inside the gates. Worse still, they’re holding a competition to decide which, and between yous and me, I’m worried this could spell the end of Fat Sam.


SCE N E 3 : F AT S AM 'S P L ACE – I N TRODUCT ION S

FAT SAM, FIZZY, BLOUSEY, BUGSY, AD BOY, REPORTER, KNUCKLES

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D OUTSIDE FAT SAM’S OFF ICE ]

FAT SAM (Enters through curtain)

(Fizzy and Blousey waiting with Bugsy outside office)

FIZZY: Er Boss, how about my audition? You said come back tomorrow. FAT SAM: Am I going mad? Are my ears playing tricks on me? Tomorrow means tomorrow, Fizzy. FIZZY: But you said that yesterday. Today is tomorrow. FAT SAM: Tomorrow. TOO.. MORE ROW. Tomorrow. (Exits) (BLOUSEY gets up and starts walking off) BUGSY: Hey, sports nut, where ya going? BLOUSEY: He said to come back tomorrow. I've gotta practice. BUGSY: Of course. Practice. Hey, didn't I tell you I'd take care of you? What’s your name anyway? BLOUSEY: Brown BUGSY: Sounds like a loaf of bread BLOUSEY: Blousey Brown BUGSY: Sounds like a stale loaf of bread BLOUSEY: Keep your jokes behind your teeth Wisey! BUGSY: Pleased to meet you. I’m Bugsy Malone. So where ya heading? Can I give you a lift? BLOUSEY: You got a car? BUGSY: Er, no. BLOUSEY: Then how you gonna give me a lift, Buster? Put me in an elevator? BUGSY: I thought we’d share a cab BLOUSEY: Forget it, I don’t share fares. I’m a lady.


BUGSY: Who said anything about sharing fares? BLOUSEY: No? BUGSY: Certainly not. I wouldn’t dream of it. BLOUSEY: You wouldn’t? BUGSY: No, I thought you’d pay. BLOUSEY: Swell. BUGSY: Well, it’s a nice night anyway, we can walk. BLOUSEY: You shouldn’t walk the streets at night. It’s dangerous. BUGSY: We’ll be okay, we got your baseball bat. BLOUSEY: You mean I’ll be okay. BUGSY: Yeah. So, which way you going? BLOUSEY: Which way are you going? BUGSY: (points left and starts walking) This way. BLOUSEY: Then I'm going this way. (points right and walks right, Bugsy follows, exit stage). BUGSY: Hey, wait up. See you tomorrow Fizz. FIZZY: Bye Bugsy. (sighs) Tomorrow... Always tomorrow.

[ CUE - TOMORROW NEVER COMES ]


[ CUE - – READ ALL ABOUT IT ]

AD BOY: (Enters) Read all about it. Read all about it. Frinton Dance wars heating up. Read all about it. (Exits) REPORTER: (with microphone, finger to earpiece) I’m live on the scene where reports are coming in of a gangland incident in Pier Avenue involving a certain Robert Robinson, known to the police as ‘Roxy The Weasel’, believed to be a member of the gang of alleged Mobster King, Fat Sam Staccato. Shortly we'll have words with Fat Sam himself, but according to eye witness reports, Robinson was the victim of a sensational .... FAT SAM (Enters with Knuckles) REPORTER: Oh here’s the man himself… Mr Staccato.. Fat Sam…


FAT SAM: What's this? Who are you? Knuckles, get this clown out of here! KNUCKLES: Sure boss. (Starts leading reporter away) REPORTER: (runs back, puts mic in Sam’s face) Sam, is there any truth in the rumours of a Dandy Dan takeover? KNUCKLES: (goes to get reporter again, but Sam stops to talk) FAT SAM: What? Wait a second. Who told you that? REPORTER: Can you give me a comment on the alleged dance war? Is it true that the loser has to leave town poymanently? FAT SAM: A comment? Oh I’ll give you a comment alright. (grabs microphone) This is Fat Sam’s town. Dandy Dan is nothing here and never will be. Nothing! You got that? REPORTER: So there we have it. (being led off by Knuckles). You heard it here first. It’s official. The Frinton dance war is on and Fat Sam Staccato isn’t going down without a fight. Back to you, Bob.


SCE N E 4 : M E E T I N G S AM’S GOONS

FAT SAM, ANGELO, SNAKE EYES, KNUCKLES, SHAKE DOWN LOUIS

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] – [ B A C K G R O U N D INS IDE SAM’S OFF ICE ]

FAT SAM (entering stage through curtain, Knuckles follows, goons sitting around) So tell me how you allow this to happen? Roxy was one of my best. What have you got to say for yourselves, you bunch of dummies? (sits down behind desk) GANG: Sorry boss FAT SAM: And we all know who’s behind all this, don’t we? GANG: Sure boss FAT SAM: You don’t need a hat full of brains to know that, do you? GANG: Certainly not, Boss FAT SAM: So who is it, dummies? GANG: Dandy Dan, Boss FAT SAM: Don’t you dare mention his name in this place! (Falls off chair) KNUCKLES: (goes to help Sam up) So what we gonna do boss? FAT SAM: What we gonna do? We're gonna play Dan at his own game, that’s what. KNUCKLES: And how you gonna do that boss? FAT SAM: I’ve got Bugsy looking for talent. We're gonna make this place the tastiest joint in Frinton. Even tastier than a Gregg's sausage roll. SHAKE DOWN LOUIS: Great idea boss. ANGELO: Yeah, good one boss. KNUCKLES: That's why you're the boss, boss. FAT SAM: What are you lame brains still doing here? Go help Bugsy. Whatever he says, you do it. Got it? ANGELO: Sure thing, boss. SNAKE EYES: Already leaving boss. (all exit stage)

[CURTAIN C L O S E ]


DANDY DAN (Enters): Hello my friends. Hey, relax. Relax will ya? In case you don’t know, the name’s Dandy Dan. Now, you’ve probably heard a thing or two about me by now, but rest assured, the chubby fool has it all wrong. You see, it’s not poysonal, it’s business, but I don’t mind telling you that Sam has no right sticking his chubby nose into mine. Sure we’ve had our differences, but things are different this time. Times are a changing and it seems there’s just not enough room for the both of us in town. DOODLE: So what’s the plan boss? DANDY DAN: I’m glad you asked Doodle, but all in good time. All in good time. All I can tell yous people is that Fat Sam's deck of cards have been well and truly stacked.


SCE N E 5 : DANDY DAN 'S CL UB

DANDY DAN, BENNY, BRONX CHARLIE, LAUGHING BOY, YONKERS, DOODLE

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D DANDY DAN’S HOUSE ]

DANDY DAN: (enters through curtain with Doodle, all goons lined up, Doodle joins the end) Hello boys. GANG: Hello boss. DANDY DAN: Well guys, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your work so far. Everything's gone swell, just swell. (cuts flowers, hands flowers to Benny and Charlie) BENNY: Thanks boss. BRONX CHARLIE: Yeah, thanks boss. DANDY DAN: Fat Sam will soon be on his way out of this town, and I have you to thank for it. (cuts more flowers, hands them to Yonkers and Laughing Boy) LAUGHING BOY: It was my pleasure boss. YONKERS: No problem boss. DANDY DAN: And after the next show Fat Sam will be crawling on his knees. In fact, soon all Fat Sam will have is the suit he stands up in and a suitcase full of memories. BRONX CHARLIE: What you want us to do Boss? Take out more of his goons? Steal more of his girls? YONKERS: Say the word and we'll do it boss! Anything for you boss! DANDY DAN: Too kind fellas. Too kind. DOODLE: Where’s my flower boss? DANDY DAN: The truth is, there's only room for one Mr. Big in this town and that's me, Dandy Dan. Fat Sam is finished. DOODLE: I don’t have a flower boss. DANDY DAN: Very observant Doodle. You don’t, do you? (mobsters turn and grab pies) DOODLE: What did I do boss? DANDY DAN: You goofed Doodle. You’ve been getting careless. And I don’t allow mistakes in this outfit. Cos mistakes put us all in the caboose. And sloppy just ain’t my style. DOODLE: Sorry boss, I’ll try harder.


DANDY DAN: Button your lip Doodle, you’re all washed up. Get him! GOONS (all fling pies) DANDY DAN: And let that be a lesson to you all. Anything less than your best and I’ll see it as a poysonal insult. We are going to own this town, and we’ll take it in any way we can. YONKERS: So what now boss? DANDY DAN: Guys, the time has come for us to play our next card and believe you me, Fat Sam and his dumb bums ain't gonna stand in our way. The truth be told, nobody does bad like Dandy Dan.

[ CUE - BAD GUYS]


BUGSY (Enters): So things are heating up, and I can tell you, it’s not going to be pretty. Dandy Dan and his goons might think they have the upper hand, but Fat Sam still has other ideas and is busy cooking up plans of his own. As Sammy would say, there's definitely more than one way for yous to skin a cat.


SCE N E 6 : BLOUSE Y’S A UD I T ION

BUGSY, FAT SAM, TALLULAH, BLOUSEY, KNUCKLES, SNAKE EYES, FIZZY, BARTENDER

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D FAT SAM’S PLACE EMPTY ]

BUGSY: (Enters through curtain, all hanging around empty club) FAT SAM: Bugsy! Just the man. Where's my talent? TALLULAH: I’m right here, honey! FAT SAM: Tallulah, can you leave us alone for a minute please. This is man’s talk. TALLULAH: Oh, it’s alright. I’m unshockable. FAT SAM: Go fix your make up TALLULAH: I’ve already fixed it. FAT SAM: Then go make yourself look more beautiful, than you already are. TALLULAH: You know that's impossible. FAT SAM: (glares at Tallulah) Anything’s possible! TALLULAH: Alright! I'll go manicure my gloves. (Goes and sits down.) FAT SAM: So... Bugsy... how’s the talent? BUGSY: I'm working on it. What do you want me to do? Walk into Dandy Dans place and steal your girls back? FAT SAM: Nice thought Bugsy, very funny (sarcastically). What are you nuts? SNAKE EYES: Yeah boss, he's nuts. He's really nuts. FAT SAM: Wait! No. That's exactly what I want you to do. If Dandy Dan can steal my girls, then Bugsy can steal them right back! It’s brilliant! You know, it's about time we taught that good for nothing knucklehead that nobody messes with Fat Sam. KNUCKLES: Yeah, good idea boss. (Snake Eyes glances at Knuckles, pulls face) FAT SAM: Bugsy, I'll arrange a meeting with Dandy Dan to organise a little pre-show truce. While he's out, yous go do what ya gotta do over at his joint. BUGSY: Sure, no problem. FAT SAM: All of you, go with him.


GANG: Sure thing boss. ( Knuckles, Snake Eyes, Angelo, Bugsy leave stage ) FIZZY: Boss? I know you said tomorrow, but… FAT SAM: Fizzy, you’re trying my patience. FIZZY: But you said I could audition. FAT SAM: Oh right. Auditions. I almost forgot! FIZZY: Really? Today? FAT SAM: Yes! And make it quick before I change my mind. Who's first? You! (points at Blousey). Show me what you've got.

[ Cue - – – I 'M FEEL ING F INE ]

FAT SAM: Lovely! Wonderful! Just swell. I like it. Who's next? BLOUSEY: That's it? TALLULAH: Relax. Don't get your knickers in a twist, honey. FAT SAM: What do you want from me? You’re hired! Okay? BLOUSEY: Oh. TALLULAH: You’ll get used to it, honey. A pretty smile and a nice voice don't mean nothing in this place. FIZZY: Boss, is it my turn now? FAT SAM: Errm. Not now, Fizzy. Not now. I've got business to attend to. Tomorrow, okay? (exits) FIZZY: (looks disappointed) Sure boss. Tomorrow.


BUGSY: (Enters) Hey, you’re still here. That’s swell. Now where was we? Oh yeah, that’s right. Yous might have heard I got a job to do, pinching back Sam’s dames. And I’m not saying it’s gonna be a breeze, but if I do say so myself, I got a way with the ladies. What can I say? It comes natural. Anyways, before I do anything, there’s the little matter of a meeting to set up. I just hope Dandy Dan takes the bait.


SCE N E 7 : S E T T I N G UP TH E M E E T I N G

BUGSY, FAT SAM & GOONS, DANDY DAN & GOONS, DAN’S BUTLER

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ BACKGROUND DAN’S & SAM’S PLACES SPL IT ]

[ SPOTLIGHT O N LEFT S IDE ]

BUGSY: (Enters through curtain) FAT SAM (sitting with phone): Bugsy! You know how to use one of these things? BUGSY: Sure. FAT SAM: Good. Get me Dandy Dan’s place will ya? BUGSY: No problem. (dials). It’s ringing.

[ CUE - PHONE R ING ] - [ SPOTLIGHT O N R IGHT S IDE ]

DAN’S BUTLER: (answers phone) Hello? BUGSY: Hey, is that Dandy Dan’s place? DAN’S BUTLER: Yes. BUGSY: Can I speak with him please? DAN’S BUTLER: Certainly. Who shall I say is calling? BUGSY: It’s Fat… I mean.. Mr Stacatto. (gives phone to Sam) DAN’S BUTLER: (walks to Dandy Dan) Sir, a telephone call for you. A Mr Stacatto. DANDY DAN: (walks to phone and sits) Hello. FAT SAM: Dandy Dan, is that you? DANDY DAN: This is Dandy Dan speaking. FAT SAM: It’s Sam. I want a face to face. DANDY DAN: Really? And why would I do that? FAT SAM: Look. Things are getting messy Dan, so I’ve got a proposition for ya. DANDY DAN: I’m listening. FAT SAM: This is a one time offer. A truce. Just until the competition. You interested?


DANDY DAN: I think I can do that. FAT SAM: Great. So can we meet? DANDY DAN: Yeah I’ll meet ya. Where? FAT SAM: The old meadow. Tonight. DANDY DAN: Tonight? Sure, I’ll be there. Oh, one last thing. You had better not be playing games, Sam. No games. That's all I'm saying. (puts down phone). Got him, the knucklehead.

[ SPOTLIGHT O F F R IGHT S IDE ]

FAT SAM: (puts down phone) Got him, the salami. Bugsy, change of plans. You drive? BUGSY: Yeah, I drive. FAT SAM: How’d you like to earn some green stuff? BUGSY: As long as you’re not talking about cabbages. FAT SAM: Great. Me, you and the boys are going on a little trip tonight. Forget what you was gonna do. We can end this tonight. BUGSY: So what you want me to do? KNUCKLES: Yeah, what we gonna do boss? FAT SAM: Dan’s agreed to meet me one on one. But what the moron doesn’t know is that we’re changing it up a little. We’re all going, and we’re putting an end to Dandy Dan, once and for all. ANGELO: Once and for all boss. FAT SAM: Bugsy, load up and get the boys ready. Dan might think he’s the cat’s pyjamas, but it’s time to send that rotten egg to the big sleep. BUGSY: You got it Mr Staccato. Come with me guys. (leave stage left)

[ SPOTLIGHT O F F LEFT S IDE - SPOTLIGHT O N R IGHT S IDE ]

BRONX CHARLIE: What's going down Boss? BENNY: We gonna give it to him, boss? DANDY DAN: Soon, Benny. Soon. Fat Sam wants a meeting. This is goot (good). BRONX CHARLIE: When's the meet Boss? DANDY DAN: Tonight, at the old meadow. Now listen. Here's the plan. Sam’s coming alone, but you can expect a double cross. And since I smell a rat, I think it’s time to play wid the new guns some more. You up for that boys?


YONKERS: Oh, you bet boss. BENNY: (punches hand) That sap’s going down boss. DANDY DAN: Easy Benny. Easy. YONKERS: You want me to ready the guns boss? DANDY DAN: Yeah. You do that Yonkers. This ends tonight.


BUGSY: (Enters) Hey. Now I don’t mind telling yas I’m more than a little scared. Dandy Dan ain’t no ten cents dummy, and with him and Fat Sam in the same place at the same time, things are going to get lively. Whatever goes down, I’m sure both of them knows the other is up to something. They certainly ain’t just there to chew the fat. (looks at watch) Oh geez. Gotta run. If I’m late, Sam will be playing some chin music. On my face! Wish me luck!


SCE N E 8 : TH E M E E T I N G

BUGSY, FAT SAM & GOONS, DANDY DAN & GOONS

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D THE MEADOW ]

BUGSY: (Enters through curtain) It’s all clear. FAT SAM: Good job Bugsy. Boys, places. (boys get into position) KNUCKLES: You gonna talk to Dandy Dan about the show boss? FAT SAM: If all goes well Knuckles, we won’t be needing no show. Dandy Dan won’t be making no appearance. BUGSY: They’re coming.

[ CUE - ENGINE NOISE ]

FAT SAM: Okay, all of yous keep your heads down.

(Enter Dan’s car) DANDY DAN: What can I do for you Sam? FAT SAM: How about a small dose of straight talk Dan? DANDY DAN: Suits me. FAT SAM: You been taking liberties. DANDY DAN: I’ve been taking what’s mine. FAT SAM: Trouble is, it belongs to me. DANDY DAN: Too bad. FAT SAM: I’m sure we can talk this over sensibly. I’m a businessman. DANDY DAN: You’re a dime a dozen gangster, Sam. FAT SAM: Now button your lip mister, you don’t talk dirty to me. I don’t like your mouth. I have to have some respect you know. DANDY DAN: Respect is earned Sam. Anyways, you all ready for the show? One of us is going down and a little birdy tells me it ain’t gonna be me. FAT SAM: You play dirty Dan, but two can play at that game. Your show days are over. Let him have it boys!


DANDY DAN: Benny, Yonkers, it’s a double cross. KNUCKLES: Okay yous guys. Freeze. ( Dan’s guys shoot all Sam’s guys. Bugsy and Sam escape, left. Dan’s guys leave stage right. ) BUGSY & FAT SAM (Enter left, look at bodies) FAT SAM: Knuckles… Angelo… Snake Eyes.. Louis… Mama mia! How could this happen? BUGSY: Sorry Sam. FAT SAM: Bugsy, you saved me. (gets money out). Here’s the hundred I owed ya, and here’s another hundred for your quick thinking. BUGSY: Woah. Why thanks. Thank you very much Mr Stacatto. FAT SAM: Think nuttin’ of it. (looks at bodies again) Bugsy, did you see that? Those guns!! BUGSY: (nods) FAT SAM: I ain’t seen nothin’ like it. We didn’t stand a chance. You gotta find out where I can get my hands on some of those guns and fast. And while you’re about it, I’m gonna need some more men, or we’re done for. You think you can handle that Bugsy? BUGSY: I’ll do my best. I know a few people. FAT SAM: Good. I trust you Bugsy. I’ll make it worth your while. Now let’s get out of here before those lame brains come back to finish the job. BUGSY: Right behind ya, Mr Staccato.

[ CUE - MEADOW EXIT ]

BUGSY & FAT SAM: (exit left)


BUGSY: (Enters) Hey. So things in our story are about to get real interesting. Fat Sam may be down on his luck a little, but he’s got more lives than a cat with life insurance. Plus he has me on his side. That’s gotta count for something, right? Anyways, right now we’re at the halfway mark. Yous gonna stick around for more of the same? (pause) That’s good. Let me tells ya, the best is yet to come. I’ll sees you all after the break. (doffs hat and exits)

I N T E R VAL


SCE N E 9 : TH E SHOWG IR L S

FAT SAM, FIZZY, TILLIE, BANGLES, LORETTA, DOTTY, TALLULAH, BUGSY, BLOUSEY

[ CUE - – SECOND HALF INTRO ]

FAT SAM: (Enters) Heys. You stuck around. Good. Now, I don’t know if you were paying attention, but I’m in a bit of a jam. The show is tomorrow and Dandy Dan and his crew wiped out all my boys. If he comes back now, I’m history. Sure, I know, I got the girls, but they ain’t gonna protect me with no four inch stilletos are they?! I just hope Bugsy can come up with something. (Exits)

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] – - [ BACKGROUND DRESS ING ROOM ]

*Note: A scenery stand with a phone on needed at the front of the stage for Bugsy.

FIZZY (Enters briefly) Five minutes to final rehearsals girls. Tallulah’s ready for you. DOTTY: Thanks Fizzy TILLIE: Thanks Fizz.

BANGLES: (walks to Tillie) So what do you think Tillie, don’t ya think I look kinda cute? TILLIE: I don’t know. BANGLES: Come on Dotty, what do you think? DOTTY: I dunno Bangles, maybe the colour’s wrong. BANGLES: What are you talking about? Purple’s my colour. I always wear purples. Don’t I always wear purples? LORETTA: Yeah, it matches your nose. BANGLES: (pokes tongue out) DOTTY: Maybe it’s the length. BANGLES: It’s the latest length. I read it in a magazine. Here look. DOTTY: Maybe it’s the frills. They stick out too much. LORETTA: They match your ears. BANGLES: Frills are in. Look at this picture of Lena Morelli. LORETTA: Lena Morelli is not Bangles De Belle.


BANGLES: So what is wrong with Bangles De Belle. You think it would look better on you? LORETTA: It would look better on a horse. BANGLES: You’re just jealous. Can I help it if my looks are ahead of their time. ALL GIRLS: They’re what? BANGLES: Full of character. Kinda earthy. LORETTA: Yeah, like a bucket of mud. BANGLES: You creep. Get lost. (goes to Blousey) How about you Blousey, do you think I look terrible? (pause) You tell me Blousey. Do I look cute or do I look terrible? BLOUSEY: Honestly? BANGLES: Bangles De Belle, you look terrible. BUGSY: (Enters front goes to phone on scenery.)

[ CUE - PHONE R ING ]

TALLULAH (Enters and picks up phone on right of stage): Hello? BUGSY: Hey it’s Bugsy. Is Blousey around? TALLULAH: Sure it’s not me your after sweetheart? BUGSY: Nah. TALLULAH: Your loss honey. Blousey, phone call for you. It’s Bugsy. Give him my love. (blows kiss at phone) BLOUSEY: (Goes to phone) Hello? BUGSY: Hello Blousey. It’s Bugsy. BLOUSEY: Where are you? BUGSY: Just around. Look I can’t talk now, but I just made myself two hundred bucks. BLOUSEY: You print it yourself? BUGSY: No, I earned it. BLOUSEY: Doing what? BUGSY: Oh, this and that. BLOUSEY: Who gave you the money? BUGSY: Fat Sam.


BLOUSEY: Fat Sam gave you two hundred dollars? I don’t believe you. You’re putting me on. BUGSY: Nope. Anyways, you free? BLOUSEY: I’m doing the chorus line rehearsal for the show tomorrow. I’m free after six. BUGSY: Swell, I’ll swing by and pick you up after. Six o’clock it is. I’ve got a surprise for you. BLOUSEY: A surprise? BUGSY: Yeah. BLOUSEY: Then tell me. I don’t like surprises. BUGSY: Well, okay. How does two tickets to Hollywood sound? BLOUSEY: Hollywood? For real? You’re putting me on. BUGSY: It’s the honest truth. Cross my heart. BLOUSEY: Oh Bugsy, I don’t know what to say. Thank you, thank you, thank you. TALLULAH: (interrupts, all girls are up and leaving stage left) You coming honey, or you gonna stand there chin wagging all day? BLOUSEY: Bugsy, I gotta go. I’ll see you later. And thanks again. You’ve made a girl’s dreams come true. BUGSY: No problem. It’s what I do.



AD BOY: (Enters) Read all about it. Read all about it. Fat Sam’s mob wiped out in gang war. Read all about it. (Exits) REPORTER (Enters): We’re here again live at Fat Sams place where final preparations for tomorrow’s Dance War are taking place. We were hoping to speak with Fat Sam himself but he’s unavailable for comment. Reports of him being locked in his office and crying like a baby are yet to be confirmed. Back to you, Bob. (exits)

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D FAT SAM’S PLACE ]

[ CUE - MY NAME IS TALLULAH ]



BUGSY: (Enters) Ya know, sometimes in life certain people just manage to push all the wrong buttons and you could say Fat Sam's buttons had been well and truly pushed. Dandy Dan’s new weapons had left Sam scared and vulnerable, and between yous and me, Fat Sam was having something of a breakdown. But ya know what? Bugsy Malone don’t leave no sinking ship. I’m gonna see if I can pull me a few strings to make things right. I just wish I had me more time to do it. But first, I’ll stop by the alley way café for a banana smoothie with ice cream. What? A guy can’t work on an empty stomach.


SCE N E 10 : MUGS Y

BUGSY, HURT MUGGER, MUGGERS x 4, LEROY, FAT SAM, TALLULAH

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D DARK ALLEY WAY ]

BUGSY: (Enters through curtain, looks at cafe) Ahh, come on. Closed? That’s just great. I finally get enough dough for a slap up meal and there’s nowhere for me to fill up my stomach. HURT MUGGER: (Laying on ground by bins moaning) Aaaarrggh. BUGSY: Hello? HURT MUGGER: Aaaarrgh. BUGSY: Is anyone in there? Are you hurt? MUGGERS: (Jump out from wings. Start beating on Bugsy and take money.)

[ CUE - PUNCH SOUND EFFECTS ]

BUGSY: Ahh, somebody help me please! Anybody! Hellllp! LEROY: (Enters, rushes to help) MUGGER WITH CASH: (Takes money, shows to audience, exits fast)

LEROY: (Beats off other thugs who run away) They take your money mister? BUGSY: (Checks pockets, throws down hat angrily) Yeah. I had two hundred dollars. Thanks anyway. It was nice of you to help me like that. LEROY: It was nothing. BUGSY: You must be a boxer, right? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: You’re not? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: But that’s the best punching I ever saw. You ever been coached? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: Ever thought of taking it up? LEROY: Nope.


BUGSY: Why not? You could be a champion. LEROY: Never had the chance. BUGSY: I know someone who can help ya. You know Cagey Joe? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: You must know Slugger’s Gym? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: You don’t know much, do ya? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: What’s your name anyway? LEROY: Err, Smith. Leroy Smith. BUGSY: I’m Bugsy Malone. Put it there Leroy. (shakes hands) You got yourself a manager.


FAT SAM: (Enters) Yous probably been hearing a few things about me, so listen up for a minute while I set the record straight. That dirty Dandy Dan might have the upper hand right now, but just between yous and me, I got Bugsy working on something. Oh, and whoever said I was scared didn’t know who he was talking about. TALLULAH: (Pokes head out) Oh lover boy! FAT SAM: I’m Fat Sam, and I don’t do scared. TALLULAH: Sammy! FAT SAM: (Jumps out of his skin) TALLULAH: Your two o’clock is here. FAT SAM: That’s not funny. Not funny at all. (To audience) And you didn’t see me. Kapeesh? (To Tallulah who is shaking her head) I’m coming, keep your hair on! (exits)


SCE N E 1 1 : SL UGGER’S GYM

BUGSY, LEROY, CAGEY JOE, BOXERS

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - [ B A C K G R O U N D SLUGGERS GYM ]

BUGSY/LEROY: (Enter) CAGEY JOE: Hey Bugsy, how ya been man? BUGSY: Swell Cagey Joe, just swell. Cagey Joe, I’d like you to meet the next heavyweight champion. Leroy, meet Cagey Joe. CAGEY JOE: You ever been in the ring before kid? LEROY: Nope. CAGEY JOE: So you wanna be a fighter, huh? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: Sure he does. He’s a natural. Look at those fists (holds up Leroy’s fist). Did you ever see such fists? Hit it Leroy. (holds up hand) LEROY: (hits Bugsy’s hand) BUGSY: (holds hand in pain) See what I mean? Born champion. CAGEY JOE: What’s your name again, kid? LEROY: Err, Smith. Leroy Smith. CAGEY JOE: You sure about this, Bugsy? BUGSY: Yeah. With you showing him the ropes, he could be a champion in no time.

[ CUE –- SO YOU WANNA BE A BOXER ]


BUGSY/LEROY: (Enter) BUGSY: Wasn’t that fun? LEROY: I guess. BUGSY: Didn’t I tell ya? You’re a natural. Now if I could only find another twenty of you, I’d be


good as gold. LEROY: What ya need twenty of me for? BUGSY: Oh, it’s a long story. Short version is that Fat Sam’s mobs are all sleeping with the fishes. You know what that means? LEROY: Nope. BUGSY: It means I gotta find some goons for hire before the big show tomorrow. If I don’t, Fat Sam’s joint is finished. LEROY: Goons? BUGSY: Yeah, you know. Man power. Muscle for hire. That sort of thing. I don’t suppose you know anyone by that description, do you? LEROY: Sure I do. BUGSY: You do? LEROY: Yeah. I volunteer at the soup kitchen at dock seventeen. I’m friendly with the guys there. They might help. BUGSY: You are? Well you’re just full of surprises Leroy, aren’t you? Can you take me there? LEROY: To the docks? Now? BUGSY: Yeah, why not! LEROY: Okay. I suppose I got nothing better to do.


SCE N E 1 2: TH E DOCKS

LEROY, BUGSY, BLOUSEY, DOWN & OUTS

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - [ B A C K G R O U N D THE DOCKS ]

Guards left, rear of stage. LEROY/BUGSY: (Enter through curtain) BUGSY: You sure we’re in the right place Leroy? LEROY: Uh huh. BUGSY: I need muscle for hire. No offence Leroy, but where’s the army. All I see is those guards. LEROY: I dunno Bugsy. BUGSY: Hey, wait a minute. Those are Dandy Dan’s guys. Get down. (crouch behind barrel) I don’t believe it. Leroy Smith, you’re a genius. LEROY: I am? BUGSY: Yeah you are. We’ve hit the jackpot. This is where they stash the guns. LEROY: It is? BUGSY: Yeah. But how we gonna get past those guards. Where are your friends? LEROY: I dunno Bugsy.

[ CUE - – DOWN AND OUT ]

BUGSY: Hey wait. You hear that? LEROY: (Nods) I’d know that sound anywhere. It’s the guys! DOWN & OUTS (Enter and march/dance) BUGSY: (During song) What’s the matter with you? Come on you guys, who’s with me? How about you? And you? BUGSY: Is everybody with me? DOWN & OUTS: Yeah! BUGSY: Come on then! Let’s get ‘em! (surround guards) YES!! (pause, looks at watch) Oh geez, I gotta go. Blousey is gonna kill me. Leroy, take the guys and the guns back to Sam’s place will ya? I’ll meet you there.


LEROY: Sure Bugsy.


BLOUSEY: (Enters, waits and looks at watch). BUGSY: (Enters out of breath) BLOUSEY: What time you call this? You said six o’clock. BUGSY: (Looks at watch) It’s six o’two. BLOUSEY: Did you get the tickets? BUGSY: Not yet, you see I had a little accident… BLOUSEY: You promised me BUGSY: I know, but Hollywood can wait for a couple of days, can’t it? BLOUSEY: You had no intention of taking me to Hollywood BUGSY: I do, it’s just that there’s something else I gotta do first, that’s all. BLOUSEY: You promised! I knew… BUGSY: (interrupts) Hey, trust me will ya. Look I gotta go. I’ll see you at the show tomorrow? BLOUSEY: Swell. (Bugsy blows kiss, exits left, Blousey exits right)


SCE N E 1 3 : GE T T I N G R E ADY

BUGSY, TALLULAH, FAT SAM, LEROY, DOWN & OUTS, AD BOY, REPORTER, DANDY DAN & GOONS

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - [ B A C K G R O U N D FAT SAM’S PLACE EMPTY ]

BUGSY: (Enters) Hey Tallulah. Is Sam in? TALLULAH: He’s right there Bugsy. I don’t think he’s in the mood for chattin’ though. BUGSY: Don’t worry, I think I got something that’ll cheer him up. TALLULAH: Yeah. Good luck with that. BUGSY: (Goes to Sam who has head down on table) Mr Staccato. FAT SAM: Bugsy, it’s over. We’re done for. BUGSY: No, we’re not. Leroy, get over here. LEROY: (Enters) Mr Staccato, this is Leroy Smith. FAT SAM: I’m not in the mood Bugsy. BUGSY: I think you’ll wanna hear this. Leroy, tell him what you got? LEROY: Errm. I got guns? FAT SAM: Yeah yeah. Guns. Everybody’s got guns. Big deal. BUGSY: No. Not just ordinary guns. Dandy Dan’s guns. FAT SAM: (Perks up) You got what? LEROY: Dandy Dan’s guns. FAT SAM: (Stands up, hugs Leroy): Bugsy, I knew it. Never doubted ya for a minute. (goes to hug Bugsy who pulls away). BUGSY: Wait! That’s not all. We got goons and they’ll go to war for you if you feed them! FAT SAM: You kidding me? Someone call the kitchen. Give them whatever they want. And you… (points at Bugsy) Ohhh, you… Come here. Gimme a kiss! BUGSY: Not necessary! (runs and hides behind Leroy) FAT SAM: (excitedly) Oh this is brilliant. We’re back! Fat Sam is back! So what’s the plan? BUGSY: (comes out from behind Leroy) I got you covered Mr Staccato. Let me explain… (whispers in Sam’s ear)




AD BOY: (Enters) Read all about it. Read all about it. Frinton Dance war about to start. Read all about it. (Exits) REPORTER: (Enters, finger to earpiece) We’re live outside Fat Sam’s place where it’s crunch time. Fat Sam’s and Dandy Dan’s girls are about to go head to head to decide which of the two alleged mobsters gets to stay, inside the gates. DANDY DAN & GOONS (Enter) REPORTER: Oh, here’s Dandy Dan himself. Mr Dan. Dandy. Are the reports true that you’ve come to the show with no dancers? Care to comment? DANDY DAN: Please. Relax. We’ve got it covered. Dandy Dan’s here to win and to win big. That’s all I’m gonna say. REPORTER: But is it true that… DANDY DAN: (holds up hand in stop gesture) No more questions. Guys, it’s time. (motions to guys to get them out of here). GOONS (remove reporter from stage, return) DANDY DAN: Okay fellas. This is our moment. We shouldn’t have any trouble. Just Fat Sam, and a few dance hall girls. Keep a cool head and when I say, you keep dose fingers pumping. Cos remember, it’s history you’ll be writin’. (starts to leave, but stops when Charlie speaks) BRONX CHARLIE: Three cheers for Dandy Dan. Hip hip… GOONS: Hooray. BRONX CHARLIE: Hip Hip GOONS: Hooray. BRONX CHARLIE: Hip Hip GOONS: Hooray. DANDY DAN: Too kind guys. Too kind. GOONS (leave stage right, apart from Bronx Charlie who stays with Dandy Dan)


SCE N E 1 4 : F I N AL E

EVERYONE IN SCENE

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - [ B A C K G R O U N D FAT SAM’S PLACE ]

[ CUE - PENCIL DANCE ]

DANDY DAN & BRONX CHARLIE: (enter through curtain and take seats, wait for pencil dance to end) REPORTER (Enters): Alright, let's hear it for Fat Sam's Showgirls, ladies and gentlemen. Great job. Now, the moment you have all been waiting for. Two performances. One winner. And the loser gets run out of town forever. The stakes couldn’t be higher. Before we begin, Fat Sam, do you have anything you’d like to add? FAT SAM: For once I don’t need to do no talking. You’re going down Dandy Dan. I’ll let my actions speak for themselves. REPORTER: Dandy Dan? DANDY DAN: Sure. I’ll keep this short. (stands up) It's fair to say we have dreamed about this day for a while now, and I’m sure what you're about to see is... well... history in the making. And history is full of surprises. Guys? (calls backstage).

(Dan's mobsters step out with guns, people scream)

DANDY DAN: Sammy. It's a shame it had to end this way.

FAT SAM: You dirty rat Dan. I knew you couldn’t be trusted to play by the rules. DANDY DAN: Rules are meant to be broken Sammy. There’s only room for one of us in this town and it’s not going to be you. Any final words? FAT SAM: Final words… Hmm… Yeah, I’ve got a few. LET EM HAVE IT BOYS!

SP L URGE BAT TL E

[ CUE –- GOOD GUYS/YOU GIVE A L ITTLE LOVE ]



FAT SAM: (Enters) Okay, so yous probably saw that coming didn't yous? Turns out there's actually enough room in this town for the both of us. Who knew? Anyways, that’s the end of our story for now. I’m sure it won’t be the last we hear of that dirty double crosser, but for now… alls well that ends well, as they say. So with dat in mind, I’d just like to thank yous all for coming. We’ve loved sharing our story with yas and hope you have a safe journey home. And that just leaves one last thing to say. For one last time, I give you the guys and dolls of Spotlight Youth Theatre Group. (doffs hat, waves as he exits)

[ CURTAIN O P E N ] - – [ B A C K G R O U N D – THANK YOU! ]

[ CUE –- HALL OF FAME ]

[ CURTAIN C L O S E / BOUNCE ]


CHARACT ER L I ST A ND NUMBER OF L I N E S

* DENOTES MAJOR SINGING ROLE

BUGSY* : 119

BLOUSEY* : 45

FIZZY* : 13

FAT SAM : 81

SNAKE EYES / BOXER / DOWN AND OUT / MUGGER : 2

SHAKE DOWN LOUIS / BOXER / DOWN AND OUT / MUGGER : 2

KNUCKLES / BOXER / DOWN AND OUT / MUGGER : 19

ANGELO / BOXER / DOWN AND OUT / MUGGER : 3

ROXY / CAGEY JOE * / DOWN AND OUT / MUGGER : 8

LEROY SMITH : 36

DANDY DAN : 38

YONKERS / GUARD : 6

BENNY / GUARD: 4

BRONX CHARLIE / GUARD: 11

LAUGHING BOY / GUARD: 1

DOODLE / BOXER / DOWN AND OUT / HURT MUGGER : 5

TALLULAH* : 15

BANGLES : 11

TILLIE : 2

LORETTA : 5

DOTTY : 4

REPORTER : 9

AD BOYS : 4

BARTENDER / DAN’S BUTLER : 5

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