BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and Mental Illness
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Transcript of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and Mental Illness
Watercooler Journal Apr. 2014 1
Buffy and Mental Illness Or, Why a Show About Killing Vampires Makes Me Feel
Okay with the World
Natasha (screen name preferred by author) Guest Submission
It wasn’t until I re-watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer after I finished high school that I really
found an appreciation for the cult TV show. My carefree nine-year-old eyes weren’t tuned into
the subtext of what it meant to be a vampire slayer like my newly independent 18-year-old
eyes were. I devoured the show as if I had never seen it before and I cried more than I thought
an adult should as I followed the “Scooby Gang” on their journey from high school to
adulthood—and in them I found familiarity. But what was it about a group of teenage kids
slaying vampires and casting spells that I related to so well?
Watercooler Journal Apr. 2014 2
I don’t know if it was intentional on Joss Whedon’s part, but to me being the slayer was akin to
living with mental illness, and I had a shiny new psychological assessment that basically said
that was what I was doing.
Trying to balance having a mental illness and having a life can be incredibly difficult. It can
deteriorate relationships, affect your schoolwork, impact your working life, and for the most
part, you feel utterly and completely alone. In Buffy Summers I found a familiar figure—a
representation of everything I was going through as a young adult living away from home. She
was the Slayer: chosen against her will to defend the Earth from evil. The weight of the world
was literally on her shoulders, and being grounded could actually be a matter of life or death.
Throughout high school her grades suffered, in college she was forced to drop out, and in life
she struggled financially and couldn’t keep a basic job working at a burger joint. She was the
Slayer, the Chosen One—and it was poisoning every aspect of her life just as my mental illness
was poisoning mine.
“Whether we have good days or bad, we are all still living on top of a gaping Hellmouth. But we can deal with that,
because we’re all slayers.”
Through the use of effective metaphor in BtVS I was able to confront my suppressed emotions
that were the cause of my anxiety and depression. I could sit in my room in a haze of emotional
confusion and cry as I watched the characters of BtVS attempt to live out their lives the best
they could with a gaping wide Hellmouth underneath them. This slightly camp show about
vampire slaying and the moral complexities of good and evil was like therapy to me, and
realising that even slayers struggle to pay the bills helped me feel ok.
In the book Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy (a collection of essays edited by James B.
South), philosopher Tracey Little explains the extraordinary use of metaphor in BtVS better than
I ever could:
…metaphors have the capacity to help viewers put their own fears and emotions
into perspective, deal with such fears and emotions in a more effective way, to
provide a point of comparison with the reality of the viewer and that of the show,
Watercooler Journal Apr. 2014 3
to recognize that the fears and the emotions played out by the show’s characters
may be similar to their own, and finally, to legitimize the feelings of the
viewer. The complex nature of such metaphors also allows for multiple
interpretations on the part of the viewer, providing the viewer with a means of
agency for interacting with the show on a deeply personal level. (284)
Legitimizing feelings—that is exactly what was happening whilst watching BtVS, and it’s an
important thing. Often we feel our thoughts, our actions, our beliefs and our ideations are
irrational or silly. We don’t think that our feelings deserve the attention they need in order for
us to put up a fight, and because of that we repress them in favour of façade. If anyone was
ever the perfect poster child for repressed emotions, Buffy Summers would be it.
But through Buffy we learn that, although we are mentally ill, we can still be heroes—and god
knows we have all developed super-strength in order to fight our demons. We wake up every
day already fighting a battle with ourselves and we go to bed—though not necessarily to
sleep—still fighting. But such is life, a never-ending battle for survival. Whether we have good
days or bad, we are all still living on top of a gaping Hellmouth. But we can deal with that,
because we’re all slayers.
Watercooler Journal Apr. 2014 4
As far as a support system is concerned, Buffy does have some awesome friends, but ultimately
they don’t understand her. They support her, and they try everything they can to help her, but
they are always on the fringes of understanding the burden of being a vampire slayer, and
that’s okay. In our own lives we have friends that don’t get it, and likely never will. That’s not
their fault, and it’s not Willow’s or Xander’s or Tara’s or whoever’s fault either. Their lack of
comprehension of the feelings and complexities involved with being the Slayer aren’t there to
further Buffy’s character arc. Buffy’s friends are dealing with their own problems—Willow has an
untapped power inside of her that she is learning to control, Xander feels emasculated next to
his powerful female buddies, and Giles is coming to terms with the fact that he may no longer
be needed. Yet, my heart broke for Buffy who was constantly assumed to be emotionally
stronger and more mature than she was, just because she was the slayer. Even upon meeting
Faith, another slayer, she felt disconnected because Faith was swimming in her own issues and
refused to let anyone in. Instead she put on the face of someone brave and tricked everyone
into believing she was fine. This, in turn, hurt Buffy even more because it made her feel weak in
comparison.
But that is simply not the case. Everyone has their own world inside their head, and everyone
has a part of themselves that tries to get their vulnerabilities and bring them down. The
juxtaposition of Buffy and Faith and their respective ways of coping with life reminded me of
this, and helped me realise even putting on a “fake” brave face is still a show of bravery.
As Buffy Summers said, “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.”
Remember, your mental illness does not define you. Slay on, slayers.
originally published in at http://hvngrymag.com/2014/03/12/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-and-mental-illness/ image credits, in order: ©Warner Bros. ©Warner Bros.