Buddy to Bedmate

Copyright © 2009, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This transcript may not be duplicated without written permission from the author.

Ross Jeffries’ Speed Seduction®

From Buddy to Bedmate

Get Out Of The Friend Zone

And Into The F**k Zone in 30 days Or Less

www.Seduction.com

http://www.seduction.com/

Disclaimer The Speed Seduction® Coaching Program may contain viewpoints that may be considered controversial by certain audiences. It is intended as a powerful guide for self-respecting, intelligent men who are looking to avoid from "real-hate-shun-ships by default" and instead claim the happiness that they deserve. I, Ross Jeffries, Ghita Services., Inc, and/or Seduction.com (or any of our other websites or entities) cannot and will not be held responsible in any way for your actions, and will not be held liable for any and all claims from you or any other third party. You alone are responsible for your decisions and actions, even if they have an impact on others. This information is meant for "entertainment" purposes only. While this transcript contains information, tips, tools, and strategies that are recommended by us and, in most cases, have succeeded when applied by others, this product and its contents carry no warranty or guarantee (either explicit or implied) that the purchaser or reader will achieve success with women, or in any other endeavor for which they may be used.

Ross Jeffries’ Speed Seduction® From Buddy to Bedmate Transcript

Copyright 2010, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Website – http://www.seduction.com

1

Ross: Welcome to my special live video broadcast, “From Buddy to

Bedmate: How to Get Out of the Friend Zone and Into the F**K

Zone in 30 Days or Less,” using 10 totally stealthy, undetectable

methods that don‟t rely on language patterns.

I just want to set up a few expectations for this event. First of all,

whether you‟re watching the live broadcast or the replay, please

understand that these methods I‟m going to present don‟t require

you to use language patterns.

Bear in mind that I love language patterns. I have no problem with

language patterns. They are still the central core of what I do.

However, many of you have said to me over the years, “I‟d like to

start using Speed Seduction® on some female friends, but I‟m

afraid if I start changing my language, they‟re not going to like it,

they‟re going to notice it, and it‟s going to seem weird or different.”

I actually found that not to be the case. Since I do like to please my

audience, I‟ve come up with this stuff. You are part of my

laboratory. Some of what I‟m going to present to you will seem very

counterintuitive, particularly Techniques 3 and 4. You will see that

they do work.

The other thing before we get into the actual 10 techniques is this.

This depends on having a certain attitude. The attitude is basically,

“Let‟s have some fun.” Try this stuff, and see what happens.

If you come at this from a desperate attitude or an attitude or

perspective that says, “I‟ve got to make it work. I‟ve got to get the

girl,” then it‟s going to significantly degrade the power of these

things. De-crushing yourself is perhaps a subject for another



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broadcast. Nonetheless, it‟s really important that we approach this

from the right frame of mind.

Before we get to the slides, let me also say that from time to time,

all of us have heard the terrible words, “Let‟s just be friends.” I know

when I was in college, and then later after college, I had so many

women and it‟s not that I only wanted to f**k them. I really liked

these girls, but no matter what I did, I was stuck in the friend zone.

Women do tend to slot us men into certain categories. They will

make up their minds. I don‟t believe they make up their minds in

minutes. At least within a few days, they‟re going to put you in a

certain category. Once they put you into that category of the buddy,

friend or big brother, it‟s f**king hard to get out. Believe me. I have

been there. I don‟t even want to go into my personal horror stories.

Here we go with the instructional video module, “From Buddy to

Bedmate: Ten Easy Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone and into

the F**K Zone in 30 Days or Less.” Let‟s get to Technique 1.

I call Technique 1 angles. It‟s very important when you‟re spending

time with a woman who has up until this moment thought of you as

a friend that you present yourself at a certain angle. The ideal

angle, whether you‟re walking, sitting or standing, is to be side by

side with that woman.

You‟ll notice that couples who are really, deeply into each other

don‟t sit across from each other. I tend to observe couples now, just

as a professional thing and for fun.

I was out and I noticed a couple sitting across from each other, and

the table separating them was at least 6 feet long. There‟s no way



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they could touch each other or lean into each other. I just saw it

was a bad situation. They‟re clearly not into each other.

It‟s really important as you get out of the friend zone that you begin

to establish a different angle with that woman. Whether you‟re

sitting, walking or standing, you want to be side by side as much as

possible.

Remember, with all of these techniques I‟m going to share with you,

please don‟t call attention to it. Don‟t say, “Do you notice we‟re

sitting side by side?” That ruins the whole thing. This is something

they pick up on unconsciously. It‟s a sub-communication, not

something you want to talk about. I hope that‟s evident and you

guys understand that.

If you cannot sit side by side, then at the very least, sit at a 45-

degree angle so you‟re diagonal to her. All you have to do is turn

your head and see her, and she can turn her head a little bit and

see you. The principle here is that people tend to feel emotionally

about others based on the way their bodies relate. This is a pretty

simple idea.

Of these 10 techniques, some of them you‟re going to do once in

awhile, some you‟re going to do frequently, some you‟re going to do

once, and some you‟re going to do all the time. Pretty much, you

can start doing the angles thing all the time.

If she calls attention to it and says, “What are you doing? Why are

you sitting that way?” or whatever, just say, “I like to people watch.

I‟ve just decided that I‟m going to do more people watching, and it‟s



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more fun to people watch side by side than it is across from each

other. We can see the people much more easily.”

Angles are very important. You can add into this. If, for example,

you want to add in a little people watching to justify the sitting in

angles or side by side, you can do that, too. One of the games I‟ve

been playing lately is to sit side by side with a woman in a crowd

and to pick out people.

The game I now play is “What‟s His Line.” I‟ll point out a guy say,

“What‟s his line? What do you think his favorite chat-up line is? I

know.” Then, I‟ll lift her hair and whisper in her ear, “If I told you that

you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

I‟ll just share corny lines, and then I‟ll pick out a girl and say,

“What‟s her excuse? What do you think her favorite excuse is for

cancelling a date? I think it‟s, „I‟ve got to wash my hair.‟” Now you‟re

sitting side by side and playing a little game, making fun of other

people. If you can add in that little game to the angles when you‟re

sitting side by side, it makes it even better.

Technique 2 is the relaxed lean. There‟s been so much said in the

seduction community about this concept of Kino. You want to get

kinesthetic with girls. That‟s all good. I‟m all in favor of it. I like that.

The thing is that there‟s a unique thing in beginning to test the

waters with how she responds to being touched. Here it is. I say

lean your body into hers when you‟re standing or sitting side by

side. The key element here is to relax your body.

There‟s something in the social contract that says it‟s okay to lean

up against a stranger if you‟re in a crowded subway or some



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crowded area where you can‟t avoid it, but you‟re not allowed to

relax your body.

If you‟re on a subway, train, bus or whatever it is, you‟re really

crowded, and you can‟t avoid touching the other person, that‟s

okay. The unwritten social contract says that you have to keep your

body tense. The minute you relax your body and muscles against

the other person, that means you‟re enjoying the contact.

What I would instruct you to do is lean into the girl, but stay relaxed.

Relax your body and lean into her for maybe a count of five, six or

seven. See how she responds to that, and then take it away. This is

one of the techniques you‟re not going to do all the time. You‟re just

going to test it. If she leans back in a relaxed way into you, that‟s

good. Stay there for about 20 seconds, and then pull it away.

Again, don‟t call attention to it. If you call attention to any of these

techniques and say, “Wow, isn‟t that cool? We‟re leaning into each

other,” then you‟re going to be f**ked. Don‟t do that.

Here‟s Technique 3. This technique and the next one are

counterintuitive. They rely on creating a little bit of discomfort. I

know that‟s not something I would normally teach or something you

would normally think of, but you‟ll see it‟s important.

We‟ve all had the situation with women we‟ve had crushes on and

women we really want to impress where there‟s an uncomfortable

silence. We are so eager to fill that gap. We‟re so eager to be witty,

entertaining and invested in making sure this conversation really

goes somewhere that we‟re the ones to break that silence.



6

What I would like you to do is, not deliberately create a silence, but

when the invariable silence comes about as it will, rather than

thinking of something to say, just sit there and be perfectly fine with

nothing being said by you.

Here are the reasons why this is powerful. Reason 1 is that it

breaks the pattern, so she begins to see you in a different way.

Reason 2 is that it may make her think you‟re actually a little bit

bored with her. Reason 3 is that it may make her feel judged. All of

these may cause her to reassess her take-it-or-leave-it attitude

toward you. Even more importantly, I‟ll get to something else.

The person who breaks the silence is really showing that they‟re

the most eager to keep the conversation going. It‟s a way of getting

her to invest in the interaction with you by moving away from her

discomfort. It‟s very counterintuitive. I would only do this once or

twice during the period of time when you‟re going to be working

your plan to turn her into your bedmate.

Technique 4 is uncomfortable eye contact. Again, we all have those

moments, and this is part of the silence too, where the eye contact

is held and one of you looks away. When you look away first, you

sub-communicate subordination and submission.

This is important, especially in the context of being in the friend

zone. When we‟re in the friend zone, almost invariably, we‟re doing

everything for that girl. We‟re so eager to please her. We‟re

overgenerous, we buy too many gifts, and we give her too much

validation or contact.



7

The thing is that with many women, particularly younger women, if

you‟re very generous, kind, loving and giving and if they‟re not

already hot for you, they will unconsciously interpret that as you

being subordinate or submissive to them, and that will kill the

attraction.

If she‟s already hot and bothered for you, that‟s fine. If she‟s not hot

and bothered for you, and you‟re being kind, loving and generous,

which we‟ll get to because you want to cut back on that too, you‟ll

communicate that you‟re subordinate.

You need to be able to hold her eyes and let her be the one to

break eye contact. The one who breaks eye contact is the one

who‟s showing submission. This is really important. Again, use it

sparingly, maybe once or twice.

Here‟s a really good one. Technique 5 is having a neutral topic, but

a sexual tone and vibe. I don‟t want you to directly sexualize the

conversation yet. I don‟t want you to start bringing up sexual topics.

Some of you have managed to do this. Some of you have used

quotes and gotten a female friend into bed. That works. You can tell

a dirty joke or quote what a friend said that a guy said to her.

Remember, part of this is premised on the fact that we‟re not going

to be using language patterns as we do this.

The way that would work is that you would talk about a neutral

topic, like the train station or the subway, but you put a little bit of

sexual tone into it. You‟d say, “It‟ very interesting. I was looking at

the train schedules the other day,” and then go back to a regular

tone of voice. Put in a sexual tone and vibe with a neutral topic.



8

Technique 6 is dominant, leading touch. I‟ll tell you a story about

this one. My nephew, Gideon said this. This was a few years back

before he started dating his now ex-girlfriend, who is a smoking hot

girl.

They‟d been hanging out for a while, and he said, “Uncle, I know

Tina likes me, but I just can‟t get out of the friend zone. What can I

do? I don‟t want to do language patterns because she knows what

you do for a living. I‟m afraid of getting caught. What do I do?”

I said, “With a girl like Tina, you have to be a little bit more

dominant and you have to do it subtly. Here‟s what you do. The

next time you‟re out with her doing anything, just take her under the

arm very lightly and just move her on the dance floor or

somewhere, very subtly or slightly. That‟s what I want you to do.”

He did that. The very next day, he got an email from her saying,

“There‟s something subtly more commanding about you. I like it.”

The next night, they were f**king. Use a slight, dominant, leading

touch. When I get back on the air and show the video, I‟m going to

show you what that looks like.

Technique 7 is a really clever technique. It takes some time to

explain, so bear with me. I call this the double-blind random ignore.

Remember, one of the things here is the pattern interrupt. We want

to interrupt the pattern of expectations that you set with this girl.

You want to do it truly randomly so even you yourself don‟t know

when it‟s going to occur.

Here‟s how this is going to work. You‟re going to get a pair of dice.

Every time she calls or texts you, up until the time you f**k, instead



9

of calling or texting her back right away, which is what I know

you‟ve been doing if you‟re in the friend zone, you‟re going to roll

the dice.

If you roll a hard 12, eight or 10, you‟re going to wait 24 hours to

return that call or text. What does that mean? A hard 12 means you

get two sixes. A hard eight means you get two fours. A hard 10

means you get two fives. Once you‟re f**king, that‟s a different

story.

What makes this work is that even you don‟t know when you‟re

going to do it or not do it. It makes it truly random, and that‟s where

the magic takes place. If you want to play super hardball here, you

can play hardball with this. Let‟s get to the hardball.

If you really want to play hardball with this, you‟re going to flake or

cancel on a meeting. I only want you to do this once. If you actually

have a meeting set up with her, you‟re going to roll the dice, and

you‟re going to cancel on the hard eight, 12 or 10. Never do it more

than once.

What makes this work is the truly random element of this, where it‟s

not just random from her perspective. It‟s random from yours.

There‟s a magic in that. It‟s a surrendering of control on your part.

Technique 8 is the back-of-the-neck erotic touch. Only do this once

every seven to 10 days, unless she asks for more. I‟m going to now

show you a video of how that works.

[Begin video]



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Ross: By the way, guys, here are some touch tips. Take a deep breath.

Right back here. It feels good doesn‟t it? I‟ll show you something. If

you‟re touching with your fingertips, you‟re doing it wrong. That‟s

like what the barber does to get your hair out of the way.

When you were a kid, did you ever go to the barber? When I was a

kid, we had a barber. Did you have the barber poles here in

England? We went and had this old time barber, who‟d tie on the

thing, do this, pull and cut. You don‟t want to do that. Use the flat of

the palm. Are you ready?

She liked that. I didn‟t even have to do it. It feels good, doesn‟t it? I

can rub the back of my own neck because it‟s an anchor now. The

palm of the hand goes here.

Participant: Can you turn around?

Ross: Yes, I will, but wait. Just like this. It feels good, doesn‟t it? Am I

touching hard?

Participant: No, not at all.

Ross: I‟m barely touching at all. It‟s very soft. There are energy centers in

the palm of the hand. I happen to believe this. Whether you believe

it or not, act as if it‟s true.

Do you mind turning this way? Turn sideways. Sit down. Honey, I‟m

sorry to treat you like I‟m grooming you. There‟s the back of her

neck. I‟m touching here with the flat of my palm like this, very

lightly. I‟m not putting a lot of force or pressure.

Here‟s what I‟ll do. I don‟t want to move you around like you‟re

chattel. Sit like that. Let‟s say I‟m having some coffee with her.



11

[End video]

Ross: I got her really hot. She was steaming.

[Begin video]

Ross: Those are nice shoes. What are they, 4-inch heels? They‟re shiny.

Don‟t wear a miniskirt. Have you got mirrors on your shoes?

Because I can see myself in your pants, ba-dum-bah. That‟s a bad

Groucho line. I‟m sorry.

If we were having coffee and I was talking to her, I would get up to

go to the bathroom. When I get up to go to the bathroom, I would

say, “I‟ll be right back.”

[End video]

Ross: There you go. Technique 9 is get mad and express anger. I have to

say a few things. This has to be justified. Don‟t make up a reason to

be angry. Chances are that she‟s going to do something to piss you

off or violate your rules. You probably get a lot of this pent up.

It has to be justified. You have to make it a quick outburst with no

profanity or name-calling. If you say, “You f**king whore. I‟ll kick

your teeth in. F**K you,” that‟s wrong. The right way is to stay

grounded in your feet and say, “Don‟t ever talk to me that way

again.”

Technique 10 is date other women. It‟s really crucial that you get

your mind off of her. The whole thing that we‟re going to be doing

here has to be subtle and unhurried. Start dating other women.



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There‟s more here. How are we going to see the signs that this is

working? She‟s going to start giving you the signals. She‟ll be

calling you more frequently. You may begin to see her sexualize

the conversation. She may talk about how she wants to f**k or how

she‟s missing being touched. She may even ask you to touch her

more behind the neck the way you did before.

You will find her beginning to sexualize the vibe. She‟ll lean into you

and relax her body into you. You‟ll feel the warmth coming off her

body.

The other thing you do is count the touches. When you‟re sitting

with her, count the number of times she touches you in an hour.

Women touch guys who they really like. If she can‟t keep her hands

off you, that‟s a really good sign.

You also want to look for what I call the eye scan. If a woman is

really into you, what she‟ll do is look in one eye, then the other eye.

She‟ll look from eye to eye, to the lips, to the eye, to the eye and to

the lips. That‟s what I call the eye scan.

When she starts giving you the eye scan, that‟s when you want to

pull here into you. Just put your hand behind her neck, which

you‟ve already established through that dominant touch. The

dominant touch is to take her by the arm and move her like that.

Pull her to you and kiss her. Then you want to pull back and say,

“That was a mistake. We shouldn‟t be doing this. Then lean into

her. Pull her into you again, kiss her and say, “That was totally

wrong,” and then keep going.



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I actually learned this from a female friend. I didn‟t know she had a

crush on me. We were both out one night. She was a little drunk.

We were waiting for a cab. When the cab was pulling up, she just

pulled me to her and started macking on me really hard.

Then she said, “That was wrong.” Then we got in the cab and she

jumped me again and was grabbing my cock and making out with

me. She said, “No, this is a mistake. We shouldn‟t be doing this.”

Then she went right back to it. I just take what I learned from

females. They‟re the best people to learn this from.

Let me go through some troubleshooting now with all of this. Here

are some of the things you have to stop doing. I told you 10 things

to do. Let me tell you some of the things you absolutely have to

stop doing to get out of the friend zone.

The first thing is no more gifts or presents. If you‟ve been spending

money on this girl, you‟ve got to stop. No more dinners, movies or

presents. Stop it cold.

If she asks you why or brings it up, then you know you‟ve got a little

bit of a gold digger. Just say, “I‟m feeling money is a little tight right

now. I really want to invest in my education,” business or whatever

it is. Say, “The government just hit me with some back taxes. I

really have to back off the spending right now.”

Also, cut back on the validation. Please hear this. I want to tell you

guys that validation is any contact you make or any attention you

give her through any format, whether it‟s a text message,

Facebook, email, a phone call, or dropping by her house. All of that



14

constitutes validation and attention. You‟re going to have to

radically cut back on that, particularly on initiating it.

Also, give no more compliments. That doesn‟t mean you can‟t enjoy

her, but no more compliments or spending money. If you cut your

initiation of contact by any format, cut it down to one-third of what it

is. If you‟re contacting her 10 times a week, which is way too much,

cut it down to three times a week.

This is very important that you really get out of your own way. The

other thing is that if she starts talking about other guys, you no

longer want to get involved with that or buy into it. If she starts

talking about another guy and says, “What do you think I should

do?” blow it off.

Say something like, “You know what? It seems to me like you‟ve

really got this under control already. I‟m sure you‟ll figure out what

to do.” Change the subject. Do not give her any advice about any

other guys. You especially want to watch the validating, the gift

giving, and being stuck in the role of an advisor.

Here‟s what to do if she asks you about something else going on in

her life that doesn‟t involve guys, and you really feel that you want

to share something. Let‟s say she suddenly tells you that her sister

has been diagnosed with lung cancer.

You don‟t want to say to her, “Sorry, babe. I don‟t talk heavy

subjects. What I would say is, “I really don‟t give advice to people

anymore, but I can share a life experience with you.” Frame it as

sharing a life experience rather than giving advice. There‟s one



15

thing I‟ve learned. Women do not f**k guys who give them advice.

They will f**k guys who share a life experience.

That is the essence of this broadcast right there. I‟ve made it

compact and quick so we can now turn around and have a

discussion about it.

Buddy to Bedmate

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