Brads Adventure Malta
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Transcript of Brads Adventure Malta
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All of our sea days were so uneventful, I’ve run out of pictures from the boat. Therefore, here’s filler from the internet!
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I did not take these pictures myself. The Internet did.Please enjoy them, and if you haven’t taken a break yet…
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Also…
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The final stop on our Mediterranean tour was the sleepy island country of Malta.
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As we got off the boat, Adam did his best imitation of Eartha Kitt.
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Malta was all decked out for Christmas.
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Christmas is a widely celebrated event in Maltabecause the country is 98 percent Catholic.
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I know what you’re thinking: “Dude, her husband is right there.” It’s not like that.
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Adam and I were amazed by how pleasant Malta was.
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And we weren’t even in the capital city of Valletta yet!
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While walking, we met Ms. Millie. She and her husband were supposed to take the cruise together, but he died
beforehand.
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Ms. Millie was worried after going through Egypt, so she asked us to walk with her a bit.
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Malta was obviously much safer than Cairo,but Adam and I obliged.
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Malta only had 6 murders last year, according to Nationmaster.com.Interpol says they have two murders for every 100,000 people!
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Ms. Millie especially enjoyed the Christmas decorations.
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Soon Ms. Millie felt confident enough to go off on her own,and Adam and I went off in search of Valletta, the Fort City.
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“Dude, look over there.”
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“I think that’s the entrance.”
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Adam had a lot of questions about Malta.No matter how much he raised his hand, he learned nothing.
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This is the Valletta City Hall.
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These canons were fake, but there were a lot of security guards around, so it’s secure.
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The security guards grabbed this guy and forced himto go somewhere else. No one is allowed on the steps.
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Valletta has a big dip in the middle, so wherever you go, you’re either walking uphill or downhill.
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Adam and I met a Turkish woman in Malta. She was handing out flyers for restaurants. She said the Maltese were racist.
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Here’s me waiting for the perfect moment to push Adam over.
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For most of Malta’s existence, it was a militaristic island.
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That’s why there are cannons and forts all around it.
Fort St. Angelo
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Malta’s entire harbor is surrounded by forts.That’s because Malta is also a port town.
Fort St. Michael
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Its primary export is limestone.
Fort Ricasoli
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Here’s one more addition to my collection of foreign boy scout pictures. I may need to rephrase that at a later date…
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As much as we wanted to try this 400-year-old cellar’s pizza,we were afraid of bears and mole people.
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So Adam and I went back downhill.
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We went to the shopping sector of Valletta.
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Adam bought a lot of Knights of Malta merch for his brother.
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Malta was filled with churches and religious iconography.
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That’s because the Normans took it from the Byzantines in 1901, and Sicily made Catholicism Malta’s state religion.
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Maybe that makes sense, maybe it doesn’t.The point is, Malta has a lot of ties to Catholicism.
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In the Acts of the Apostles, St. Paul was shipwrecked in Malta, and he preached to everyone on the island.
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Malta’s tradition of Catholicism dates back to that.Some scholars say it happened in 60 AD.
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Spain gave the Knights Hospitaller Malta in 1530.This religious order is referred to as the “Knights of Malta.”
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They’re the ones who set up all of the crazy forts.
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The thing about Malta is, it’s history is really complex.It’s been owned by the British, the Phoenicians, the Spanish…
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…The Normans, the Greeks, the Romans, the French…
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It was one big Mediterranean hot potato.
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For lunch we stopped at a place called “Café Duex Baronnes.”
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It had a really magnificent view.I could see all of the forts of Malta from my table.
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We also had a great view of other tourists.
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The view of Adam was the same as it always was.
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Here’s me taking a picture of Adam taking a picture of other tourists.
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We ordered a lot of traditional Maltese cuisine.Adam got “Ravjul” (Ravioli) and I got “Timpana.”
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After eating, we walked around the city some more.
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That meant more downhill walking.
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And more Christmas decorations.
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Somehow Adam found the one Jewish item in all of Malta.
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At some point Adam and I ran into St. John’s Co-Cathedral.
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I had never heard of it, but lots of folks were selling junk around it, so it’s probably famous.
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I don’t know anything about this dude, either,but I assume his life was pretty good.
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Here’s more of the Cathedral. Adam and I did not go inside. We did not want to pay money to go to church.
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I admit that this picture is boring, but I wanted to convey how prevalent Christmas was in Malta.
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There were a ton of teenagers in the main square of Valletta.I got the impression that they were like suburbanites.
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Here’s a Maltese business capitalizing on Malta’s religious history.
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And here are some more teenagers, only laying about Ancient Ruins.
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If they’re not ruins, it’s a construction site. I don’t actually know.
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Malta had the least interesting merchandise of all of the places we visited.
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But the city did have some awesome business names.
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Adam and I found yet another cathedral.
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To Adam’s chagrin, I actually decided to go inside.
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I can’t tell you what church this is, because there are so many in Malta, and I got lazy with my notes.
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A priest was at the door, and he told me a donation was required for me to get in.
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I only gave him one Euro.
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Here’s a traditional Catholic statue:It’s a man stealing a baby.
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Being on an island is pretty crazy, because you’re always 10 minutes away from the Mediterranean Sea at any time.
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Adam and I considered going into Malta’s World War II Museum…
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But it cost over 10 euro, so we walked right back out.
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The best things in Malta are free.
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This is how the Maltese recycle.I wanted to steal one and use it for a laundry hamper.
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Apartments in Valletta look awesome, but rent is probably five condor eggs a month.
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Since Adam and I were running out of things to do, we decided to go check out the Mediterranean Beach.
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I actually dipped my hand into it.I am a world traveler!
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Adam was not as impressed.Turns out he’s very hard to impress.
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I will make this into an inspirational poster some day.“When life gives you an empty chair, sit and fish. And drink.”
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I could see the other cities of Malta from where I was,and they looked about the same as Valletta.
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This will be the cover of Adam’s Easy Listening album.
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I like to think this graffiti marks every invading boat that was sunk during WWII, but it’s probably just a product of boredom.
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We hadn’t seen any strays in Malta until this point.There were dozens of cats in these dinghies.
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We spent about a half an hour on the beach.It was one of the most peaceful times of my life.
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The Great Siege Bell Memorial was right next to the beach,so we went there next.
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This bell was set up in 1992 to honor the 7,000 peoplewho died in the WWII Siege of Malta.
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The Axis Powers fought the British from 1940 to 1942for control of Malta, because it’s in such a strategic location.
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The memorial bell itself weighs 10 tons.
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Once we finished taking pictures of the bell,I dragged Adam to a bar.
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Adam and I started to head backonce I finished my glorious beer.
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It was a long way down.
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We found a tunnel full of excellent graffiti during our travel.
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I would bet any amount of Euros it was done by teens.
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Older folks won’t get this,but this is an excellent example of counterpoint.
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Once we found City Hall again, Adam and I knew we were on the way back.
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We were sad to leave Malta, because it was so beautiful.As I said then, it was the best way to relieve stress after
Egypt.
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