THROUGH THE LENS OF ANTHROPOLOGY: AN INTRODUCTION TO HUMAN EVOLUTION AND CULTURE268

Some societies trace their genealogy through both the mother’s and father’s line, called bilateral descent. The English language underscores this equality: we use the same term to refer to the same relatives on our mother’s side and on our father’s side (aunts, uncles, or grandparents). These kinship terms represent generally equal expectations of both our father’s and mother’s families.

BOX 11.1 Arranged Marriage in Mumbai

Arranged marriage is still an option among young, educated, middle-class women in India’s biggest city. However, arrangements happen in very different ways today. Today, girls meet prospective partners through social events called Marriage Meets, community registries (called marriage bureaus), and online matrimonial sites. More liberal parents may even accept matches that are initiated by the girls and boys them-selves—once condemned as “love matches.” (Indians refer to unmarried people as “girls” and “boys” independent of age.)

Until the mid-twentieth century—the gener-ation of these girls’ parents—nearly all Indian marriages were arranged by extended family connections. This included marriages made by educated, middle-class families. Traditionally, a matchmaker, who may have been a family friend or relative, would solicit possible matches on behalf of the family. After photos and background information were exchanged, a potential match would be identified. The boy’s family would be invited to the girl’s house for a “bride viewing.” While parents talked, the girl would enter dressed in a sari and would serve tea, speaking only when addressed, and would not make eye contact with the boy. After this initial meeting, the girl and boy might not see each other again before the wedding day, depending on what parents allow.

From the perspective of a person raised in an independence culture, one might wonder how

it’s possible for modern, educated young men and women to accept a marriage arranged by their parents. Nonetheless, there are several reasons the system is still desirable, even with the possibility of dowry problems. First, the dependence-training model used in India creates a highly interdependent family unit, with the clear responsibility of parents to find a match for their children. Second, the bride-viewing model is no longer used formally in most cases. Third, contemporary arranged marriage in Mumbai allows some “dating,” which gives the young couple a chance to get to know one another. The shift toward the development of roman-tic feelings is connected to modern urban life. In addition, young people know clearly what their family’s expectations are for their future marriage partners, and have internalized these guidelines. In her fieldwork, Serena Nanda (2000) found this is because Indian girls trust their parents to make good decisions for their future.

Today, it is not as likely for a marriage to be strictly arranged with no sense of individ-ual needs being met. It is also less likely for a marriage to be strictly self-initiated and self-managed by the couple until the wedding and beyond. A hybrid set of practices exists today in which urban middle-class girls in Mumbai negotiate the traditional social expectations of Indian joint families and the modern tensions of urban life with its focus on self-fulfillment and female empowerment (Gonzalez 2013).

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