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Bouncing Back:Promoting Resiliency:Student Success from Crayons toCollege and Career ReadyJune 11, 2014The Neuroscience of Resilience Linda Graham, MFT

Bouncing BackThe Neuroscience of Resilience

Linda Graham, MFTlinda@lindagraham-mft.netwww.lindagraham-mft.net415-924-7765ResilienceHardiness

Coping

FlexibilityHardinessCapacities to last, to endure

Capacities to persevere, to follow through

Capacities of determination and grit

CopingFace and deal with disappointments, difficulties, even disasters

Bounce back from troubles, from adversity, from the unexpected, from the truly awfulFlexibilityAdaptability, capacity to shift gears

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptive to change.- Charles DarwinResilienceDeal with challenges and crisesBounce back from adversityRecover our balance and equilibriumFind refuges and maximize resourcesCope skillfully, flexibly, adaptivelyShift perspectives, open to possibilities, create options, find meaning and purposeResilience for StudentsManage impulses, appropriate behaviorCuriosity, openness to learning and changeProcess-encode information into memoryUse information creatively and productivelyImagine, think, planNavigate social world, social intelligenceEmpathic interactions with othersDevelop identity, core values, moral compassContribute to larger community, worldModern Brain ScienceThe field of neuroscience is so new,we must be comfortable not only venturing into the unknownbut into error.- Richard Mendius, M.D. Neuroscience of ResilienceNeuroscience technology is 20 years old

Meditation improves attention and impulse control; shifts mood and perspective; promotes healthOxytocin can calm a panic attack in less than a minuteKindness and comfort, early on, protects against later stress, trauma, psychopathologyNeuroplasticityGrowing new neuronsStrengthening synaptic connectionsMyelinating pathways faster processingCreating and altering brain structure and circuitryOrganizing and re-organizing functions of brain structures6 Cs of CopingCalmCompassionClarityConnections to ResourcesCompetenceCourageCalmManage disruptive emotions

Tolerate distress

Down-regulate stress to return to baseline equilibrium

CompassionCare, concern for problems and blocks that de-rail resilienceEmpathy, compassion for feelings and suffering of self, othersSkillful behaviors in response to difficulties and differencesClarityFocused attention on present moment experienceImproves cognitive functioningSelf-awareness, self-reflectionShifting perspectivesDiscerning optionsChoose wise actionsConnections to ResourcesPeople, Places Practices

Counter-balance brains negativity biasStrengthen inner secure baseAccess resourcesCompetenceEmpowerment and mastery from changing old coping strategies, learning new ones

Embodying, I am somebody who CAN do this.CourageUsing signal anxiety as cue to:

Try something newTake risksPersevere to achieve goalsMechanisms of Brain ChangeConditioningNew ConditioningRe-ConditioningDe-ConditioningConditioningExperience causes neurons to fireRepeated experiences, repeated neural firingsNeurons that fire together wire togetherStrengthen synaptic connectionsConnections stabilize into neural pathways

Conditioning is neutral, wires positive and negativeThe brain is shaped by experience. And because we have a choice about what experiences we want to use to shape our brain, we have a responsibility to choose the experiences that will shape the brain toward the wise and the wholesome.- Richard J. Davidson, PhDEvolutionary legacyGenetic templatesFamily of origin conditioningNorms-expectations of culture-society

Who we are and how we cope.is not our fault.- Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate MindGiven neuroplasticityAnd choices of self-directed neuroplasticity

Who we are and how we copeis our responsibility

- Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate MindPre-Frontal CortexExecutive center of higher brainEvolved most recently makes us humanDevelopment kindled in relationshipsMatures the latest 25 years of ageEvolutionary masterpiece

CEO of resilienceFunctions of Pre-Frontal CortexRegulate body and nervous systemQuell fear response of amygdalaManage emotionsAttunement felt sense of feelingsEmpathy making sense of expereinceInsight and self-knowingResponse flexibilityNew ConditioningChoose new experiencesGratitude practice, listening skills, focusing attention, self-compassion, self-acceptanceCreate new learning, new memoryEncode new wiringInstall new pattern of responseRe-conditioningMemory de-consolidation re-consolidationLight up neural networksJuxtapose old negative with new positiveNeurons fall apart, rewireNew rewires oldDe-ConditioningDefault networkDe-focusing, loosens gripCreates mental play spacePlane of open possibilitiesBrain makes new links, associationsNew insights, new behaviors

Practices to Accelerate Brain ChangePresence primes receptivity of brain

Intention/choice activates plasticity

Perseverance creates and installs changeMindfulness and EmpathyAwareness of whats happening(and our reactions to whats happening)Acceptance of whats happening(and our reactions to whats happening)

Attention circuit and resonance circuit

Two most powerful agents of brain change known to scienceMindfulness Comes to West Mindfulness: Focused attention onpresent moment experiencewithout judgment or resistance.- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Attention and allowingAwareness and acceptanceResonance CircuitResonance vibe, emotional contagionAttunement felt sense, explicit, non-verbalEmpathy verbal, cognitive, coherent narrativeCompassion concern, caring, helpAcceptance pre-requisite for resilience and lasting changeIntegrationReflectionSee clearlyResonanceEmbrace wholeheartedly

May I meet this moment fully;May I meet it as a friend.

Keep Calm and Carry OnSerenity is not freedom from the storm

but peace amidst the storm.

- author unknownCalmManage disruptive emotions

Tolerate distress

Down-regulate stress to return to baseline equilibrium

Window of ToleranceSNS explore, play, create, produce. ORFight-flight-freeze

Baseline physiological equilibriumCalm and relaxed, engaged and alertWINDOW OF TOLERANCERelational and resilientEquanimity

PNS inner peace, serenity. ORNumb out, collapseHand on the HeartTouch Deep breathingPositive EmotionsBrakes on survival responsesOxytocin safety and trustRelationships as resourcesOxytocinHormone of safety and trust, bonding and belonging, calm and connectBrains direct and immediate antidote to stress hormone cortisolCan pre-empt stress response altogetherCalm through MovementBody inhabits posture of difficult emotion (40 secondsBody moves into opposite posture (40 seconds)Body returns to first posture (20 seconds)Body returns to second posture (20 seconds)Body finds posture in the middle (30 secondsReflect on experiencePower posingCompassionSensitivityAttention to feelings and suffering, self and othersSympathyTuning in, feeling with, being movedDistress toleranceBeing with pain without denial or overwhelmEmpathyUnderstanding without judgment, resistance, submissionCaringWarmth, kindness, gentleness in any response

Mindful Self-CompassionAwareness of whats happening (and our reaction to whats happening)Acceptance of whats happening(and acceptance of our reaction)

Brain stays plastic, open to learningSelf-Compassion BreakNotice-recognize: this is a moment of sufferingOuch! This hurts! This is hard!Pause, breathe, hand on heart or cheekOh sweetheart!Self-empathyI care about my own suffering, me as experiencerDrop into calm; hold moment with awareness; breathe in compassion and careMay I meet this moment fully; may I meet it as a friendShare experience with resonant otherCompassion for Others - SelfRemember moment of compassion and care for anotherEvoke felt sense of compassion in your bodyWhen flow of compassion is steadyPlace yourself in flow of compassion, care, concernMindfulnessCatch the moment; make a choice- Janet Friedman

Every moment has a choice;Every choice has an impact.- Julia Butterfly HillMindfulnessPause, become presentNotice and nameStep back, dis-entangle, reflectCatch the moment; make a choiceShift perspectives; shift statesDiscern optionsChoose wisely let go of unwholesome, cultivate wholesomeAutobiography in Five Short Chapters Portia NelsonII walk down the street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalkI fall in.I am lostI am helplessIt isnt my fault.It takes me forever to find a way out.

III walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I pretend I dont see it.I fall in again.I cant believe Im in the same placeBut, it isnt my fault.It still takes a long time to get out.

IIII walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I see it is there.I still fall inits a habitMy eyes are open, I know where I am.It is my fault.I get out immediately.IVI walk down the same streetThere is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I walk around it.VI walk down another street.-Portia NelsonConnections to ResourcesPeople Love guards the heart from the abyss. - MozartPlaces I rest in the grace of the world. BerryPractices As an irrigator guides water to his field, as an archer aims an arrow, as a carpenter carves wood, the wise shape their lives. - Buddha

Positive Emotions-BehaviorsBrain hard-wired to notice and remember negative and intense more than positive and subtle; how we survive as individuals and as a speciesLeads to tendency to avoid experiencePositive emotions activate left shift, brain is more open to approaching experience, learning, and actionPositive EmotionsGratitudeAweGenerosity CompassionDelight Serenity Love Curiosity Kindness Joy TrustPositive EmotionsLess stress, anxiety, depression, lonelinessMore friendships, social support, collaborationShift in perspectives, more optimismMore creativity, productivityBetter health, better sleepLive on average 7-9 years longerResilience is direct outcomeKindness is more important than wisdom,And the recognition of that is the beginning of wisdom.- Theodore RubinGratitude2-minute free writeGratitude journalGratitude buddyCarry love and appreciation in your walletTake in the GoodNotice: in the moment or in memoryEnrich: the intensity, duration, novelty, personal relevance, multi-modalityAbsorb: savor 10-20-30 seconds, felt sense in bodyPositivity PortfolioAsk 10 friends to send cards or e-mails expressing appreciation of youAssemble phrases on piece of paperTape to bathroom mirror or computer monitor, carry in wallet or purseRead phrases 3 times a day for 30 daysSavor and appreciateCircle of SupportCall to mind people who have been supportive of you; who have had your backCurrently, in the past, in imaginationImagine them gathered around you, or behind you, lending you their faith in you, and their strengths in copingImagine your circle of support present with you as you face difficult people or situationsPeople as ResourcesAt times our own light goes out and is rekindled by the spark from another person.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.- Albert SchweitzerTrue Other to the True SelfThe roots of resilience are to be found in the felt sense of being held in the mind and heart of an empathic, attuned, and self-possessed other.- Diana Fosha, PhD

To see and be seen: that is the questions, and that is the answer.- Ken Benau, PhDAh, the comfort,The inexpressible comfortOf feeling safe with a person.Having neither to weigh out thoughtsNor words,But pouring them all right out, just as they are,Chaff and grain together;Certain that a faithful handWill take them and sift them;Keeping what is worth keeping and,With the breath of kindness,Blow the rest away.- Dinah Craik

EmpathyI hear you say.I see that you.I sense that youIm touched that you

Rather than I think that you.Theory of MindI know that you can be thinking and feelingsomething completely different from what Im thinking and feeling, and thats OK.Relational IntelligenceSetting limits and boundariesNegotiating changeResolving conflictsRepairing rupturesForgiveness CompetenceBodily felt sense of Sure I can!

Based on previous competenceNo matter what, no matter how smallOwnershipLearning ModelUnconscious IncompetenceConscious IncompetenceConscious CompetenceUnconscious CompetenceFind the Gift in the MistakeRegrettable Moment Teachable MomentWhats Right with this Wrong?Whats the Lesson?Whats the Cue to Act Differently?Find the Gift in the MistakeCoherent NarrativeThis is what happened.This is what I did.This has been the cost.This is what I learned.This is what I would do differently going forward.CourageA ship is safe in harbor, but thats not what ships are for.- Grace Hopper

Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone.Otherwise, it would be called sure thing-taking- Tim McMahonDo One Scary Thing a DayVenture into New or UnknownSomatic marker of Uh, ohDopamine disruptedCross threshold into newSatisfaction, masteryDopamine restoredCourageIts as wrong to deny the possibleAs it is to deny the problem.- Dennis SeleebyI am no longer afraid of storms,For I am learning how to sail my ship.- Louisa May AlcottBouncing BackThe Neuroscience of Resilience

Linda Graham, MFTlinda@lindagraham-mft.netwww.lindagraham-mft.net415-924-7765