Book by Rachel Nelson Fortner Music & Lyrics by Betsy ... · THIS IS A PERUSAL SCRIPT. ... Fun,...

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Fun on 42nd Street © 2011 A Pocket Full of Plays www.musicalsandplaysforkids.com 970-628-1960 THIS IS A PERUSAL SCRIPT. ABSOLUTELY NO COPYING PERMITTED.

Book by Rachel Nelson Fortner Music & Lyrics by Betsy Peterson & Bill Peterson

A Pocket Full of Plays

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CAST

LENORE PICKFORD…………………………………………………………………… MR. PRINCE……………….……………………………….…………………………… HERBIE HIRSHFELD…………………………………………………………………… TILLEY BANKHEAD…………………………………………………………………… PHOEBE FORBES……………………………………………………………………… LUCY RICHIE…………………………………………………………………………… MRS. NEEDLE…………………………………………………………………………… BUGSY MAGILLICUTTI…………………………………………………………………

DANCE CAPTAIN

TRIXIE……………………………………………………………………………………

CHORUS GIRLS

BUBBLES………………………………………………………………………………… GINGER………………………………………………………………………………… OPAL……………………………………………………………………………………… SUGAR…………………………………………………………………………………… RUBY………………………………………………………………………………………

COSTUME GIRLS

CHENILLE……………………………………………………………………………… GEORGETTE…………………………………………………………………………… GABARDINE……………………………………………………………………………… PAISLEY………………………………………………………………………………… SATIN……………………………………………………………………………………

GANGSTERS

DOROTHY ……………………………………………………………………………… SID………………………………………………………………………………………… ROCCO…………………………………………………………………………………… LITTLE LOU…………………………………………………………………………… BENNY…………………………………………………………………………………… PATSY……………………………………………………………………………………

CLOWNS

CLEMENTINE…………………………………………………………………………… CORDELIA………………………………………………………………………………. CALICO…………………………………………………………………………………… CANDY…………………………………………………………………………………… CHLOE…………………………………………………………………………………… CURLY……………………………………………………………………………………

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Overture Musical begins following a brief overture highlighting tuneful snippets of songs within the script.

Following the applause, the lights come up on the colorful scene of the entire cast spread throughout the stage, singing the opening number.

FUN ON 42ND STREET (Cast)

Fun, fun, fun……

Fun, fun, fun

Fun, fun, fun………on 42nd Street!

It‟s fin‟lly time, we‟re set to go

Then off to Broadway we‟ll take our show

So set the lights, boys, and make us “glow”

We‟ll give „em our best „til they shout, “BRAVO!”

The time is here, the moment, now

We‟ll do our thing, and we‟ll take our bow

The stage is set for the show to run

Let‟s give it our all and have FUN!

Clowns in greasepaint making everyone roar.

Flip-flops, cartwheels, jokes, and oh, so much more!






We‟ll do our thing and we‟ll take our bow


Let‟s give it our all and have FUN!

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Actors acting, which is what they do well,

Singers, dancers, ain‟t the orchestra swell?!





(Key change to half time—perfect for kick line)




Fun, fun, fun

Fun, fun, fun

Fun, fun, fun…….on 42nd Street!

Blackout. Cast exits.

SETTING: Onstage is a rundown theater in the early 1030s. Upstage right is a costume rack. Downstage left is a box that serves as a level.

AT RISE: Stage is empty as Herbie, Phoebe, and Lucy enter from stage right.

HERBIE: Well ladies, here we are on stage. I‟ll leave you to look around. I‟ve got to see about a problem with the tiger in our Act 1 Safari scene.

PHOEBE: Why thank you Mr. Hirshfeld. (They gaze at each other and he exits stage left.) LUCY: Oh Phoebe, this is so exciting. I LOVE IT! Our very first show! And to think we just

arrived in the Big Apple this morning! PHOEBE: It‟s just like Aunt Millie said: “You have to get in there and make something happen,

be the ball, never give up, dance till you drop….” LUCY: I get it, I get it! Say, that stage manager who‟s been showing us the ropes is certainly a

looker, and speaking of looks, he couldn‟t stop looking at you!

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PHOEBE: Lucy, stop. I‟m sure he was sizing me up for costume purposes. Besides, what would an important stage manager like Herbie Hirshfeld want with a little nobody from Poughkeepsie?

LUCY: What everyone wants—LOVE! PHOEBE: Oh, please! Come on, we‟d better get to work learning the show. Like Aunt Millie says,

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going, put your shoulder to the wheel, give it the old college try….”

LUCY: I get it, I get it!

They exit stage left. Enter Gangsters, tiptoeing from the back of the house (audience). Dorothy sneezes.

BUGSY: Quiet, you numbskulls! DOROTHY: Sorry boss! It‟s this time of year! Those stinken‟ tulips make my allergies go nuts. BUGSY: Enough already! We gotta nab those costumes and get outta here! BENNY: But boss, why do we gotta wear costumes for the heist tomorrow night? SID: Yea, boss. We‟re gangsters not dancers! ROCCO: I don‟t look so good in frills! LITTLE LOU: Well, I ain‟t wearing anything with sequins. BENNY: Or feathers. PATSY: We‟re toughs, who pack heat not lipstick. You‟ve had some hair-brained schemes boss,

but this one takes the cake. BUGSY: Can it, you wise guys! Just put a sock in it! I told you this is the only way! If we ain‟t in a

disguise during the job, we‟ll end up sleepin‟ with the fishes! They got our mugs plastered all over the city, in every post office from here to Poughkeepsie. We gotta totally change the way we look so‟s they can‟t put the finger on us!

AA GGAANNGGSSTTEERR‟‟SS LLIIFFEE AAIINN‟‟TT EEAASSYY (Gangsters)

A gangster‟s life ain‟t easy

No, no, a gangster‟s life ain‟t fun

Don‟t think a gangster‟s life is “breezy”

Because he‟s always on the run

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We don the classic gangster getup

From our head down to our toes

So when our mugs are plastered everywhere

They hate our guts but love our clothes

Sneaking, creeping, lurking in dark alleys

Packing heat and hidin‟ at O‟Malley‟s

(Gangster: Aw, Boss...I just LOVE them cheeseburgers!)

(All Other Gangsters: Shhhh)

A gangster‟s life ain‟t easy

No, no, a gangster‟s life ain‟t fun

Don‟t think a gangster‟s life is “breezy”

Because we‟re always on the run…

Because we‟re always on the run…

Because we‟re always on the run…!

DOROTHY: But Benny and me—we ain‟t no Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire… SID: …from some second-rate musical… DOROTHY: …about walkin‟ in tulips… ROCCO: …that ain‟t even on Broadway! BENNY: You got that right! LITTLE LOU: We‟ve hit an all time low, boss! PATSY: That ain‟t no malarkey—nothin‟ lower than dressin‟ like a bunch a freaks! MR. PRINCE: (Yelling as he enters from upstage left.) All right, all right, let‟s get on with this

rehearsal. BUGSY: Quick, hide over here! (Gangsters run offstage right.)

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Chorus Girls hustle on stage from every direction.

MR. PRINCE: Come on people, work with me here. Let‟s get on with this rehearsal. (Tilley, his

assistant, is following him on.) Time is money and… (Looks at Tilley as if to cue her). TILLEY: Oh…money is time.

TRIXIE: Mr. Prince, I‟ve done my best to clean up all the dance steps for the opening number. (Turning to Chorus Girls) Places girls! Let‟s show Mr. Prince how we‟ve cleaned up those tricky movement sections he was so discouraged with yesterday.

SUGAR: You mean the part with the kick ball change? RUBY: After the running cartwheels? Ugh. I hate that part. BUBBLES: Oh, I love it! With the little shoulder roll—we look like the Rockettes! GINGER: But it‟s so hard. I worked on it half the night! OPAL: Good! You needed to—after all we‟re dancers not boxers! SUGAR: Opal, be nice. (Turning to Ginger) Ginger it‟s not you—Opal‟s a grump! TRIXIE: Ok girls, let‟s focus. Mr. Prince is waiting; positions please. (Chorus Girls move to

formation.) A 5, 6, 7, 8—kick ball change, shoulder, shoulder, splash, splash, burst, explode. Step together step—snap, snap. Step together step—snap, snap. Shimmy, shimmy, slap, slap. Circle back home, 7, and 8. (There is an uncomfortable silence.) Well?

TILLEY: It looks a little better to me. What do you think, Mr. Prince? MR. PRINCE: I suppose it shows some improvement. TRIXIE: Shoot, Mr. Prince. I‟ve done what I can with these dance numbers, but it‟s very hard

without all the cast. TILLEY: (With dread) Oh no! MR. PRINCE: What in tarnation is that supposed to mean? OPAL: Miss Lenore Pickford refuses to rehearse with us. RUBY: If you think our moves look rough, you should see hers! BUBBLES: She says she won‟t point a toe because she hates her costumes. SUGAR: Miss Pickford told me that wild horses couldn‟t get her into that Act 1 Finale garb! GINGER: She says it‟s not in her contract to wear ugly costumes!

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TRIXIE: We overheard her yelling at Mrs. Needles: “This thing looks like it came from a

secondhand store in Poughkeepsie.” OPAL: You could hear her from across the street. SUGAR: Then she threw her costumes at all the costume girls and made them cry. BUBBLES: It was a terribly upsetting scene! RUBY: We haven‟t seen her since! GINGER: Georgette says she just sits in the star dressing room eating bonbons. TRIXIE: Girls, Mr. Prince doesn‟t need to hear all the sordid details. Do you want us to continue

to run something without her? MR. PRINCE: No, I want to stand here all day chatting about costumes! OF COURSE I WANT

YOU TO RUN SOMETHING—ANYTHING—A RACE, AN ERRAND…JUST DO SOMETHING BEFORE I GO BROKE!

Clowns enter from stage left with Herbie. MR. PRINCE: (Looking at Clowns) Great! Now what? HERBIE: This is the new act you hired this morning. MR. PRINCE: You‟re clowns? CLEMENTINE: No, we‟re a flock of geese. CHLOE: Bam and double bam! CORDELIA: (Like a duck) Quack. Quack. Quack. CALICO: Ouch, that‟s gotta hurt! CANDY: Clem‟s hot today! CURLY: Take that! TILLEY: Mr. Prince, you wanted to add some humor after the death scene in Act 3. This is all

we could find with such short notice. CLEMENTINE: SHORT? Hmm, you‟re so short you can walk under a snake with a top hat on. CHLOE: Slam dunk! (Laughs and slaps knee)

(Lines should be fast paced or possibly said at once.)

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CORDELIA: A top hat? Oh, you‟re killing me! (Laughs, holding stomach) CALICO: Clem—you‟re on a roll! (Laughs, throwing head back) CANDY: I‟m splittin‟ a gut here! (Dropping with both hands on knees while laughing) CURLY: Stop, I can‟t take it! (Jumps up and down laughing) MR. PRINCE: Ok, ok. You guys are a riot. Look I think we‟ll have our writers work up

something for you. CHLOE: Clem, what‟s he talkin‟ bout?

CLEMENTINE: What and not use our own material?

CORDELIA: You‟re not serious. CALICO: Are you for real? CANDY: You‟re kidding, right? CURLY: (To Tilley) He‟s kidding, right? MR. PRINCE: Well, it‟s important that you‟re actually funny. CHLOE: Clem, he wants funny! CLEMENTINE: Oh yeah—well how‟s this for funny, Cordelia. CORDELIA: Knock, knock. CALICO: Who‟s there? CORDELIA: Wendy. CALICO: Wendy who? CORDELIA: Wendy the last time you took a bath? CANDY: Oh snap! (Clowns all laugh hysterically) MR. PRINCE: Tilley, do something. CLEMENTINE: Here‟s a classic. How do you make an egg laugh? CORDELIA: Tell it a yolk. CALICO: Hey, you‟re gonna love this: What‟s a tree's favorite drink?

(Lines should be fast paced.)

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CANDY: Root beer. (Clowns all laugh hysterically.) TILLEY: Clowns, why don‟t you come with me and we‟ll see what we can work out. (They exit

stage right, laughing hysterically.) HERBIE: Shall I get the two new chorus girls you hired this morning? The ones from

Poughkeepsie? (Phoebe and Lucy enter from stage left.) PHOEBE: Here we are, Mr. Prince!

LUCY: We just learned all the music, lines and dances. We‟re ready to open tonight! HERBIE: Hi Phoebe! PHOEBE: Hi Herbie! MR. PRINCE: Dandy! Now, let‟s see that number about flowers! What‟s that song called Herb?

It‟s something about staying on your toes! HERBIE: Sir, it‟s “TTuulliippss iinn tthhee MMiisstt..””

MR. PRINCE: Yah right! Ok, (yelling off left) costumers get out here for the flower number. Don‟t

they need a bumbershoot or something? Mrs. Needle rushes on from stage left with her costume assistants. MRS. NEEDLE: Hurry girls, hurry! (Sternly turns to him) Mr. Prince they‟re called parasols, not

bumbershoots? Now, Chorus Girls, easy with these—you bend „em, it comes out of your paycheck!

CHORUS GIRLS: Yes, Mrs. Needle. MRS. NEEDLE: Ladies, get them into their skirts, please.

COSTUME GIRLS: Yes, Mrs. Needle. Costume Girls scurry over to put skirts on Chorus Girls. CHENILLE: Mrs. Needle, I can‟t work this way. Ruby won‟t hold still! (Turning to Ruby) News

flash, sister, the number hasn‟t started yet, so stand still! GEORGETTE: Bubbles is bouncing around too! Listen missy, do you know what happens when

a pin gets pushed into a “Bubble”? (Bubbles just shakes her head.) I don‟t think you want to find out!

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GABARDINE: Looks like Sugar‟s been hitting the candy machine again! Just because your name is “Sugar” doesn‟t mean you make a career of it! Do have any idea how much time went into this thing? (Sugar just shakes her head.)

PAISLEY: So has Opal! Do you want to explain yourself, Opal? They don‟t serve candy bars at

the soup kitchen, and that‟s where you‟re headed if you can‟t fit into this costume! SATIN: Well at least these two new girls seem to have a little self-control. Do you two think you

can manage to hang on to it? (Lucy and Phoebe nod their heads.)

CHENILLE: Which is certainly more than I can say for Ruby who apparently spends her breaks

at the bakery across the street. Mrs. Needle, Satin is right; we just can‟t work this way!

MRS. NEEDLE: Not now, Chenille. We‟ll address these challenges later. All right Mr. Prince,

the girls are ready!

MR. PRINCE: Places ladies! Top of the number!

Chorus girls get into position with parasols and sing the following song.

TULIPS IN THE MIST (Chorus Girls)

(Spoken)

When winter takes its cue to go

And with it all the cold and snow

We cannot wait as springtime nears

Our hearts rejoice with fervent cheers

(Soft-shoe feel) Tu-lips, toodle, oodle, oodle, oodle

Tu-lips, toodle, oodle, oodle, oodle

Tu-lips, toodle, oodle, tulips in the mist

Walk with me, see the ground awaken

Spring is near, just feel the earth a-shakin‟

The willow trees are weepin‟

And tulip tips are peepin‟


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Feel the wind whistling through the trees-es

Tulips love the showers and the breeze-es

My heart goes pitter-patter

And friends ask, “What‟s the matter?‟

It‟s the tu-lips, toodle, oodle, oodle, oodle



Enter Ms. Lenore Pickford from stage right, followed by a worried Tilley.

MS. PICKFORD: Prince, how dare you run the Act 1 Finale without me! If you don‟t watch it,

buster, the only line in your pathetic little career will be the breadline. TILLEY: I‟m sorry Mr. Prince. I tried to calm her down. MR. PRINCE: Oh, Lenore, there you are! I understand that you‟re having a little problem with

your costume, so…ah…we thought we would just run a few steps without you. MS. PICKFORD: Little problem? Have you seen the hideous tulip thing that Agnes expects me

to wear? What am I, a star or a shrub? I won‟t do it, I tell you! You can get yourself another bouquet because this little blossom has wilted!

MR. PRINCE: Oh Lenore, don‟t do this to me. This show, “A Walk through the Tulips,” is our

ticket to Broadway! If we have a good opening, we‟ll be moved to the Shubert so fast it‟ll make your head spin.

MS. PICKFORD: You‟re pullin‟ my chain, Prince. This show is a loser! I‟ve seen better writing

on a to-do list. Throw in some obnoxious costumes, and you‟ve booked passage on the Flowering Barge of Death.

LUCY: Golly, Ms. Pickford, are you saying this show stinks? MS. PICKFORD: Yes, twinkle toes, something like that! PHOEBE: Oh, now Ms. Pickford, don‟t you be discouraged or downhearted! Why my Aunt Millie

always says, “If you get handed lemons, make lemonade.” Come on kids, let‟s turn Ms. Pickford‟s frown upside-down. Let‟s chase those blues away!

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Everyone joins Phoebe in a rousing musical number.

AA LLIITTTTLLEE BBIITT OOFF HHAAPPPPYY (Cast except Gangsters)

Phoebe and Chorus: A little bit of happy goes a long, long way

A little bit of happy keeps the blues away

A little bit of happy will keep you feeling snappy

A little bit of happy goes a long, long way.

Phoebe: I tell you, Miss Pickford, it just ain‟t so bad

The world may seem gloomy, but you can‟t stay mad

As dear old Aunt Millie would often exclaim,

“Just turn that frown upside-down,” get back in the game!

Everyone: A little bit of happy goes a long, long way

A little bit of happy keeps the blues away


A little bit of happy goes a long, long way.


A little bit of happy goes a long…long…way!

A little bit of happy goes a long, long way!

MS. PICKFORD: Oh, can it, you buncha two-bit canaries! Ya wanna make me happy? Well that would require one of two things—this theater gets turned into a Woolworths or some con man from the Bronx steals every one of those hideous tulip costumes.

She exits stage right in a huff. Everyone on stage murmurs with worry.

MR. PRINCE: Ok everyone, get some lunch. (Chorus Girls hand skirts back to Costume Girls.) Tilley,

we‟ll run the abduction scene and the waterfall ballet this afternoon.

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TILLEY: Yes Mr. Prince, I‟ll see that the mermaids are ready. MR. PRINCE: Herb, make sure the horses have been fed. HERBIE: You got it, sir. (Cast exits, leaving Phoebe and Herbie.) Say Miss Forbes, would you join

me for a bite to eat? PHOEBE: That sounds swell! HERBIE: It does? Gosh, I would never have imagined a gal like you puttin‟ on the feed bag with

a fella like me! PHOEBE: Shucks, Mr. Hirshfeld, I think you‟re the bee‟s knees! HERBIE: Huh? PHOEBE: Come on, last one to the diner next door is a rotten egg. (She dashes off stage right.) HERBIE: (Looking to audience) Oh, I think I‟m in love!

He dashes off after her stage right. Mrs. Needle enters with the Costume Girls in a military manner from stage left.

MRS. NEEDLE: Come girls, let‟s just have our production meeting on stage while the cast is at

lunch. COSTUME GIRLS: Yes Mrs. Needle. MRS. NEEDLE: Now, I would like a rundown on each of your costume assignments. Chenille,

may I assume that everything is on schedule? CHENILLE: I just need to add some rhinestones to the Bird of Paradise wings. It‟s very hard on

my fingers because the feathers are sharp. GEORGETTE: I‟m almost finished with all the green bonnets for the St. Patrick‟s Day scene, the

one where Ms. Pickford is lowered over the audience with a leprechaun. GABARDINE: Well, I‟m nearly through with all of the mermaid tails used for the flood scene at

the opening of Act 2. I just have to add sequins to the scales. PAISLEY: You wanna talk sequins; I‟m just starting on the tap pants for the tornado ballet. They

shouldn‟t be too hard because you wanted them to look windblown.

SATIN: Oh, I can help with those. My gorilla suits just need satin bows on their tails. MRS. NEEDLE: I‟m hearing that the costumes for “A Walk through the Tulips” are coming

along nicely! I think we are capturing all the various themes of the show, from mermaids to leprechauns, and to that I say bravo! But alas, something troubles me.

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SSEEWW YYOOUURR TTRROOUUBBLLEESS AAWWAAYY (Costume Girls)

Mrs. Needle: I hear bits of melancholy

With a “touch” of hopelessness.

(Spoken)

Now ladies

Sewing can bring comfort…tranquility…and yet,

If you just

Sew your troubles away,

All you have to do is

Sew your troubles away.

When deadlines fly, and dancers “grow”

And you find your pattern‟s all wrong

Just thread that needle,

And thimble your thumb,

And sing this simple song…

Sew…………………………. your troubles away,

Girls: We‟ll sew, we‟ll sew……………our troubles away.

All you have to do is

Sew……………………………your troubles away,

Girls: We‟ll sew, we‟ll sew……far away they will stay.

You‟ll surely feel completely healed,

And life is lookin‟ okay.

If you‟ll just

Sew……………………………your troubles away,

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Girls: We‟ll just sew our troubles away,

Your troubles away,

Girls: We‟ll just sew our troubles away,

Your troubles away,

Girls: We‟ll just sew our troubles away.

Seamstresses exit stage left with enthusiasm. Gangsters come tiptoeing on from stage right, carrying tulip skirts. Big Joe sneezes.

BUGSY: Quiet, you numbskulls! DOROTHY: Sorry boss! I ain‟t gonna be able to be around these tulip skirts with my allergies!

I‟m tellin‟ ya, I‟ll sneeze through the entire heist. LITTLE LOU: Boss, we‟ll end up in the joint for sure if Dot can‟t control herself! SID: Yah, Boss. We‟ll end up in the joint lookin‟ like freaks!

ROCCO: This ain‟t a good color for me, Boss. I look better in pastels! BENNY: This jacket‟s a little small. PATSY: You don‟t look like no Gene Kelly, that‟s for sure! LITTLE LOU: Well, I can tell yous guys right now, this one ain‟t gonna fit me. It‟s a bit full

through the hips. ROCCO: Maybe we should trade, Little Lou. I‟m thinkin‟ that‟s a better color fer me. What do

you think, Sal? SID: I don‟t know… BUGSY: WOULD YOU CAN IT, YOU WISE GUYS! We ain‟t dressin‟ up for a night on the

town. Now, let‟s get outta here before that costume dame finds out we nabbed these. PATSY: Boss, this costume thing just ain‟t our style. The gangsters rush off stage left to hide. Several balls roll onstage, and we hear various ad-lib lines: “oops,”

“got away from me,” “slippery little devil,” “get back here,” etc. Tilley and Clowns enter from stage right. TILLEY: You call that juggling? I‟m sorry but Mr. Prince is very busy, and I refuse to interrupt

him for more of your silliness. CURLY: Silliness?

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CLEMENTINE: But we gotta talk to that director about the show. CORDELIA: Yeah, this new stuff you want us to do is shlock! CALICO: We‟re a class act. CANDY: We don‟t do garbage! CHLOE: We live to make people laugh!

NOTHINS‟ BETTER THAN A BIG GUFFAW (Clowns)

Nothin‟s better than a big guffaw

Grab a laugh and we will have a ball

Watch „em roar when we all trip and fall

I tell ya, nothin‟s better than a big guffaw!

Clowns, we are clever, we think on “big feet”

Giant ties on baggy suits, we ain‟t so petite

We giggle, snicker, hoot, and howl „til they beg for more*

Chuckle, chortle, cackle, roar „til we‟re on the floor*

(Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck) Nothin‟s better than a big guffaw



I tell ya, nothin‟s better than a big guffaw

Just try it, you‟ll like it—you‟re bound to feel good

A big guffaw will have you feelin‟ just as you should

We flip, we flop, we hop and plop on stage for awhile*

Jiggle, juggle, pounce and bounce to make „em all smile*

(Ha, ha, ha!) Nothin‟s better than a big guffaw

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I tell ya, nothin‟s better than a big guffaw!

Nothin‟s better, no, no, nothin‟s better

No, no, nothin‟s better than a

Big (yuck, yuck, yuck)

Ga (ha, ha, ha)

Faw!

Clowns run in patterns of wild circles around the stage doing antics, laughing loudly, and finally, on the very last beat, collapsing together.

*Simplifications:

1) We giggle, we snicker, then they beg for more We chuckle and chortle „til we‟re on the floor

2) We flip and we flop and we hop for awhile Jiggle and juggle to make „em all smile!

CLEMENTINE: So what do you say, sunshine? TILLEY: (Sighs) I‟ll talk to Mr. Prince. Perhaps we can leave in one or two of your bits, but that‟s

all. CORDELIA: Say, what you got there? (Points to Tilley’s blouse/dress at chest level to indicate a stain.

When she looks down, Cordelia draws her hand up to tap the tip of her noise.) Beep. TILLEY: Cute. Let‟s go see about your dressing rooms and please, no funny business! CHLOE: No funny business? CORDELIA: What‟s she talking „bout, no funny business? CALICO: Funny IS OUR business! CANDY: Yeah, git this: How do ya make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair. CURLY: Zing! (Clowns all laugh hysterically as they exit stage left.) Herbie and Phoebe enter from stage right. HERBIE: Phoebe that was fun, and I find that I‟m fond of you!

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PHOEBE: Golly, Herbie, do ya mean it? HERBIE: I sure do. Why, I don‟t want to be off the cob, but I think you‟re swell. PHOEBE: Gosh!

A LITTLE GAL FROM POUGHKEEPSIE (Herbie and Phoebe)

(Sung with awkwardness as he is nervous to be alone with Phoebe)

Herbie: I think you‟re swell, I think you‟re swell

The first time we met, I could tell

I wish I had words to say how I‟m feeling

„Cause when we‟re together, my thoughts go a-reeling

I think you‟re swell.

You always smell……uh…good!!

Phoebe: Huh?………………………oh.

May I offer you this caramel?

Phoebe: Mmmmm……I love caramels!

Like popcorn and movies, coffee and tea

You‟re just my little gal from Poughkeepsie

Herbie: I think you‟re swell.

Phoebe: He thinks I‟m swell.

Herbie: I think you‟re swell.

Phoebe: He thinks I‟m swell.

Herbie: My heartstrings go “zing,” mademoiselle.

When I see you, I fumble, and then I think, gee…

You‟re my little gal

Phoebe: I‟m his little gal

Both: You‟re my little gal………from Poughkeepsie.

I‟m his little gal……………from Poughkeepsie.

A shrill scream is heard from offstage. Lucy, who has just discovered that her tulip skirt is missing, runs on from stage left.

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LUCY: Mr. Prince! Mr. Prince! Help! Oh, Mr. Prince, please you must do something! MR. PRINCE: (Entering from stage right with Tilley) Oh for crying in the night, what‟s the matter

now? LUCY: Mr. Prince, something terrible has happened! Something really awful! MR. PRINCE: Don‟t tell me the grizzly bear we‟re using in the Old West scene has escaped

again! HERBIE: Nothin‟ doing boss. I checked Tiny‟s cage on my way in from lunch. LUCY: Oh, no! Something far worse! (She pauses and gulps) The costumes for the Act I Finale

are…missing! MR. PRINCE: What? No! TILLEY: It can‟t be! MR. PRINCE: Please, kid, tell me you‟re kidding! Tell me this is your idea of a sick joke!

Mrs. Needle races on from stage left followed by entire cast (except Gangsters) to see what horror has occurred and hear his last line.

MRS. NEEDLE: I‟m afraid not, Alvin. (Pause) Someone has stolen the costumes for the Tulip

Extravaganza. CHENILLE: That‟s breaking the law! GEORGETTE: It can‟t be! GABARDINE: Not the tulip skirts and those dapper jackets! PAISLEY: This isn‟t happening! SATIN: Someone wake me from this nightmare! (The costume girls faint, and each Chorus Girl runs

to revive the costume girls as they shriek.) RUBY: You poor girls; after all your hard work! TRIXIE: But who would do such a thing? BUBBLES: What kind of world do we live in anyway? GINGER: Is nothing sacred? OPAL: We‟re living in a lawless society.

(These lines should be said at once.)

(These lines should be said at once.)

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SUGAR: Isn‟t there enough senseless crime without adding stolen costumes to the list? Ms. Pickford marches on from stage right with clowns to see what all the commotion is. She is surrounded

by the annoying clowns. MS. PICKFORD: No, I do not want to hear another “knock knock” joke! CLEMENTINE: Come on lady, just one more! CORDELIA: We‟ve got a fancy juggling routine… CALICO: We can do cartwheels… CURLY: Or summersaults… CHLOE: I can hop on one foot! CANDY: Have you heard about the guy who walks into a bar? MS. PICKFORD: Oh for the love of Pete, out of my way! (She pushes past the clowns and marches

down stage center). Now, what‟s going on here? MRS. NEEDLE: We‟ve made a devastating discovery, Lenore. Someone has made off with the

tulip skirts. LUCY: The show opens in a few hours, and we have nothing to wear for the Act I Finale.

HERBIE: Ms. Pickford, we all know you„re not terribly fond of those tulip skirts, but…well…the show must go on.

PHOEBE: You‟re a trooper, and as my Aunt Millie would say, “Just what the doctor ordered!” LUCY: Please, Ms. Pickford, tell us what should we do? MS. PICKFORD: Well, I suppose I could be nice and help out—just this once. Mmm. Let me

think. Whom do I know who is raunchy enough to do a dirty deed like this? Who is diabolical enough to steal some tulip skirts with a purpose in mind? (Costume Girls sit up. Everyone assumes a thinking pose.) I‟ve got it! Bugsy Magillicutti!

EVERYONE: Bugsy Magillicutti! MS. PICKFORD: You heard me! Bugsy is the creative kinda thug who would cook up a little

scam like this without missin‟ a beat. EVERYONE: (All Girls stand up.) Gasp! MR. PRINCE: Oh, we‟re finished! It‟s all over! Bread line, I‟m on my way!

(These lines said are said quickly.)

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TILLEY: Shall I get you an aspirin? MS. PICKFORD: (Crossing to him) Not so fast, Alvin! Listen, I may be a tyrant and everybody‟s

worst nightmare to rehearse with, but I‟m not made of stone! Let me fix this! PHOEBE: Oh, would you Ms. Pickford? MS. PICKFORD: All right! As long as you all understand that this is a one-time transaction!

Once we get this little problem ironed out, as Agnes would say, things are back to normal. Deal?

EVERYONE: (Steps toward her) Deal! MS. PICKFORD: I just happen to know a little something about Bugsy that no one else knows. A

long time ago, when he was just a young hoodlum, he fell for a dame who was a singer down at Larry‟s Lounge on 42nd street. Every time that gal would sing Bugsy‟s favorite song, he would go to pieces. Well, one day this dame just up and disappeared. Some say she ran off and joined the circus.

CLOWNS: (Step toward her) Circus? MS. PICKFORD: (Scathing look to Clowns) Can it! Nobody really knows. Anyway, if Bugsy is in

this theater, and something tells me he is, he won‟t be able to resist this song.

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THAT KNUCKLEHEAD OF MINE (Lenore Pickford)

Some years ago, in days gone by

I knew a thug with puppy dog eyes

His deeds were vile, but none so cruel

As when you left me to play the fool

Surrender now, this life of crime

You‟ll always be that knucklehead of mine

Please walk away, resist the lure

Just how much shame will you endure?

It‟s time for change, to make amends

So face the facts. We‟re more than friends

Surrender now, this life of crime

You‟ll always be that knucklehead of mine

You‟ll always be…that knucklehead of mine.

Bugsy enters from stage right as if in trance. He is followed by the other Gangsters who are trying to stop him. He is crying.

DOROTHY: Boss, what are you doin‟? LITTLE LOU: Have you lost your marbles? SID: We‟re gonna be caught red-handed with these costumes! ROCCO: Guys we gotta stop him! Listen Boss, just think about that bank we‟re gonna take down. BUGSY: Oh, that song! It brings back such memories! DOROTHY: Forget about the dame, Boss. We gotta get outta here. PATSY: The cops‟ll be here any moment. ROCCO: We won‟t make it outta here alive!

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BUGSY: (As he looks at same far-off place) Oh, my lovely Lena, where are you? (He looks at Lenore

and pauses.) Is that you? MS. PICKFORD: It‟s me, you big galute! I didn‟t run off to join the circus. (Clowns step forward

getting ready to speak, but she holds her hand up to quiet them.) I became a big star. BUGSY: But why? MS. PICKFORD: I couldn‟t stand a life of crime. Bugsy, give me the costumes, and we‟ll forget

this whole thing ever happened. DOROTHY: Boss, git a hold of yerself. SID: Don‟t do it, boss. BENNY: She‟s bluffing! PATSY: Be strong! BUGSY: Do you mean it? MS. PICKFORD: Of course I do. TRIXIE: Say, I just thought of something! We‟re short a few characters for the show. BUBBLES: Trixie‟s right. We need more chorus girls Mr. Prince! MR. PRINCE: Bubbles, let‟s not be hasty. SUGAR: We hoofers have been covering like crazy since yesterday when several of the kids ran

off to join the… BUGSY: Don‟t say it! MRS. NEEDLE: Well, we can always use a few more headhunters in the Safari scene. CHENILLE: That‟s a snap for us! SATIN: All they need for costumes are loincloths! GEORGETTE: Trimmed in fringe! GINGER: We definitely have openings for the Trojan War vignette in the middle of Act 2.

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GABARDINE: Oh, I think Mr. Magillicutti would be a wonderful Achilles, don‟t you girls? GEORGETTE: Oh, absolutely! This fella (pointing to Benny) was made for the stage! MR. PRINCE: (Stammering) We…ah…we really should talk this over. PAISLEY: I‟m thinking this one right here (takes ahold of Little Lou) would be a stunning Helen. RUBY: I‟ll teach her the ballet sequence—it‟s a cinch! OPAL: Can you dance en pointe? CHENILLE: Paisley, are you thinking powder blue or periwinkle? SATIN: Helen of Troy must wear a rich deep purple satin! CHENILLE: Don‟t you agree, Mrs. Needle? GABARDINE: We don‟t mind a little extra sewing to get these mobsters into the show. PHOEBE: Oh, what do you say Mr. Magillicutti? PAISLEY: How about you and your gang turn your backs on corruption… TRIXIE: …and join us for a stable and secure life in the theater! BUGSY: Well, what do you say gang? DOROTHY: Would we have to wear these? (Gestures to what they have on) MRS. NEEDLE: Heavens no! You would be devastatingly dapper donned in a dramatic doublet! LITTLE LOU: Come again? BUGSY: Oh, never mind! We‟re in! I‟m tired of the rugged life of a con down on 42nd street. My

life as a bad guy is over. Who knows, maybe I‟ll star in this thing and one day retire in Poughkeepsie.

MR. PRINCE: (Completely defeated) Great! EVERYONE: Hooray!

The cast cheers and runs to get into position for the bows*.

FUN ON FORTY SECOND STREET, REPRISE (Cast)

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(Musical Intro into music for bows) (Music only, no singing)


Then off to Broadway, we‟ll take our show


We‟ll give „em our best „til they shout, “bravo!”

The time is here, the moment now



Let‟s give it our all and have fun!




We‟ll give „em our best „til they shout……”Bravo!”

*Director’s Note: With five categories of cast members, the music above should cover each group with two lines per group for a run onto stage, bow, and run into place for the Finale. So the cast may begin singing after the “ritard” on “The time is here…” (as follows), which will be easy for them to hear. You will need

to time the bows with your cast.

FINALE (Cast)

The time is here, the moment now

We‟ll do our thing and we‟ll take our bow


Fun, fun, fun

Fun, fun, fun,

Fun, fun, fun………on 42nd street!

TTHHEE EENNDD

Book by Rachel Nelson Fortner Music & Lyrics by Betsy ... · THIS IS A PERUSAL SCRIPT. ... Fun,...

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Transcript of Book by Rachel Nelson Fortner Music & Lyrics by Betsy ... · THIS IS A PERUSAL SCRIPT. ... Fun,...