Bonita E. Jackson

Alice E. Hughes Diane Jeanne Hughes

Jan Elaine Hunsicker Elizabeth Hutchison

Janet C. Inverso Elaine R. Ippolito Sandra R. Irving

Kenneth W. Jackson

Marie P. Hyatt

Mary Ann Jackson Irene Beth Jacobs

Robert Ammarell Jacobs Loris Mary Jacobsen

Harold Stephen Jacobson John A. Jadach Jennifer Anne James Maryann Janczewski

Patricia Jane Jenkins Rowena Foley Jenkins Susan Elaine Jenkins Margaret M. Janvier

Rafael Oswaldo Jimenez Denise Lutricia Johnson

Michael Bland Johnson

Robert Joseph Jervey, Sr.

Margaret E. Johnson

Robert Allen Johnson

Jeannine Lynn Jennings

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Katherine M. Johnson

Judith Lynn Johnston

Jeffrey Levin Jones

Kathleen Hope Joyce

Deborah K. Kalbach

Charles Edward Jones

Patricia L. Jordan

Terry M. Joslin Jean Marie Joyce

Hyginus Sunny Kajuru

Judith Anne Justison

Julie Allison Karcher

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Elizabeth Anne Kabis

Erik Karlesson Debra Ann Kauranen Patricia Jayne Kearns Christine L. Kedzierski

Joseph W. Keech Susan Jeanne Keegan

John McElroy Keeling Douglas Laird Keene

Leslie Karen Keidel

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Philip M. Keim Caryn W. Keirsey

Deborah Ann Keller

Anne Mary Kelly

Michael David Kelsey

Marianne K. Keithler

Margaret Ann Keller

Carol Anne Kelly

Janice E. Kemlein

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Paula Bryan Kertiles Lee Kesselman

Katherine E. Kimbrough Gregory S. Kindig

Cynthia M. King Fletcher A. King Timothy W. Kinlock Timothy D. Kirby

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Jane Keppel llene Frances Kerson

Gary S. Keyes Philip E.C. Kidder

Donna Bess Klein Deborah Susan Kline

Joyce Ann Klock Andrea S. Kneitel Steven W. Koerner

Carol L. Koether Candice Ann Kohler Barbara Ann Kominsky Carol A. Koos

Walter Korschek, Jr. Barbara Ann Kosanke Frances-Michele Kosiorek George Ernest Kosmides

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Richard Wente Kittle

Diane Koumpias

Susan Michele Krus Karen Marie Kuehn

Doreen Mary Krich

Kathleen M. Kriebel

Carey Jay Krider

Barbara Anne Krug

Christine Laletas Michael Wilson Lambert

Jeffrey David Landon Anne Elizabeth Lansu

Marlene Elaine Kugler Christine Kuttle

Marc Paul La Brasca Cheryl Lynn La Grone

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Peter James La Penta

Suzanne M. Lawless Anne V. Lawlor

Barbara Ann Layman Richard Lee Layton David Joseph Leary Linda Ann Leary

William George Leeman Harry C. Le Gates, Jr. Linda K. Le Gore Diane Ellen Leis

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Linda Louise Law

Joseph Matthew Lenza

Craig Ashley Lewis

Evelyn H. Livani

Nancy Jean Leonard

Charles Phillip Linder

Kenneth Warren Lodge

Ann Louise Leleck Richard T. Le Noir

Stephen Vincent Long

Michael Lloyd Lipstein

Mary Ann Loftus

Linda Claire Linton

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Wenda Susan Long Stephen L. Longacre Dorothy Kay Lore Charles Lorelli

Steven Thomas Lorenz John Alan Loughren

Vicki A. Loveridge Donna Kay Lovett

William Jeffrey Lovett

207

Katharine E.S. Lowe

Maureen F. McCarthy

Michael A. Luzzi

Marie Anne McClafferty

Janet E. McAdams Thomas V. McAvoy

Tina McCormick Donald R. McCoy

208

Paul J. McCready Melodie A. McDaniel Mark J. McDermott, Jr.

Beth McGarry Sally A. McGrady William D. McKelvie

Gordon D. McMahon

Debra J. McNeal

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John L. McKenica Joan M. McKnelly Betsy A. McLaughlin

Susan H. Maclnnis Elizabeth A. MacMahon

Ibrahim S. Madanat James Walter Magee Jane V.M. Maguigan

Paul Edward Maguire Beverly D. Mahan William M. Mahoney Paulette E. Maksimowicz

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Patricia A. McNerney

Robert A. McNees Stuart B. McNeil Paul L. McNelly

Patricia Ann Maley Gregory S. Maliken

Teresa C. Marino

Thomas Richard Manley

Mary P. Marioni

Thomas Mammarella Linda L. Mansfield Catherine R. Marino

Kristin L. Malmberg Beth Ann Maliner

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Patricia A. Marley

Jeffrey A. Martin

Glenn Eric Marvel

Kathleen Edith Martin

Barbara A. Marzoa

James J. Martin

Patricia A. Markot

Bonnie L. Marsh Janet L Marsh

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Francis L. Masci Margaret W. Mason Lawrence J. Massaro George C. Massey

Charles P. Mast

Richard I. Mather, Jr.

Kathleen S. Matt

Rhoda F. Mast

Debra J. Matson

Edward J. Matarese Barbara Materazzi

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Martha A. Matwijkiw

Sharon Marie Mauer

Sandra E. Messick

Eileen Frances Mayan

Catherine Ann Meston Paula Ann Metcalf

Joan Ellen Matthews

Henry L. Maxwell, Jr.

Douglas Charles Merrell

Rhonda Louise Meyd

Richard Henry Milburn

Mary Ann Mieczkowski Thomas Edward Mihelcic Timothy H. Miklasiewicz

Klaus Miller

Deborah Terese Minchini

Karen Elaine Minner Cathy L. Mizenko Clare Ruth Moltu

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Steven Craig Miller

Constance Marie Monaco

Sheila E. Monaghan Patrick James Moore

Martha T. Morris Marjorie Jean Morrow

Kathryn E. Moyer Frances M. Mozeleski

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Barbara Joanne Mowry

Mary Jane Moreland

Daniel F. Monahan

Frederick W. Mueller Keith Mulhare

Theresa Mary Mullins Patricia Agnes Mulroony

Stephen Harwood Myers Frederick Arnold Neal Mark Peter Neisser Susanne M. Nelson

Allan E. Nichols Kenneth E. Nicholson Janet Leslie Niemann Martin D. Niemczyk

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Patricia Ann Novack

Colleen A. Oliphant

Chris L. O'Neill

Jeffrey Lee Olmstead

Robin Elizabeth O'Neill

Joan Michele Novelli

Joann K. Olkiewicz

Philip Mitchell O'Neill

Patrick A. Nowakowski

Alfred C. Olsen

Linda Lee Opdyke

William T. Pahl, Jr. Suzanne R. Painter

Lorraine Mary Orledge

Donald Fredrick Otto Thomas W. Ouderkirk

James W. Owen

Colleen M. O'Sullivan

Nancy L. Overman

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Roberto Palermo Charles Edward Palmer

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Deborah Marie Panella Nancy Lee Park

Julia V. Parker Kenneth K. Parker

William James Parker Paul Brian Parvis

Regina Anne Phelan Debra Dee Phillips

Susan Helen Pearce

John Carlisle Peet

Bettina Marie Peronti

Bonnie Lee Pease

Michael Edward Pembroke

Frederick Pfleger

David Lee Pate Timothy Wayne Patrick

Guy F. Pedelini

Kimm Perlin

Hiromi Chieko Patterson

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Sharon E. Pike

Robert U. Pizzala

Steven Paul Pody Cynthia L. Pontier

Donald Alex Piel

James E. Pileggi

Deborah K. Plewa

Deborah N. Phillips Guy Elvin Phillips

Walter J. Ploskon, Jr.

Jane Carol Porper

Linda Joy Pike

Christopher Pilsbury

Edward T. Polaski

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223

Gail Ann Porter Paul P. Porter

Lois J. Possehl R. Jeffrey Poulterer

Janet Marie Powell David J. Prilutski

Robert R. Procopio Mary Jean Quill

Veronica D. Rakos

Jane E. Raneri Doris A. Ransom

Alice Rakowski

Wayne E. Racine

Susan E. Rainier

Cynthia L. Quillen

David S. Radulski

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Corinne F. Raphel William J. Rapp June M. Raufer Kay Raughley

Teri Lynn Reath

Susan A. Reilly Steven D. Reimer Hugo A. Rendina Jr.

Hollis L. Reynolds Robert C. Rhea John Riabov Vincent Ricca

225

Mary E. Reed Daniel Reikes

Gregory N. Roane Susan M. Robinson

Barbara Ann Riebe

Forrest D. Rodden

Robert H. Richter

Pamela C. Ridings

Thomas G. Rodenhiser

Mervin J. Richard, Jr. Maryjo Richards Paul R. Richards

Clayton L. Ridings

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Ronald L. Ritter

Kathleen A. Rogin

Thomas R. Roder

Samuel A. Rodgers

Karen J. Rodgers

Cynthia L. Roessel

Susan Jean Rosica

Linda Louise Rooney Lucille Loyd Rosen

D. Gwendolyn Ross

Ray Arthur Roland

David Anthony Ross

John Joseph Ryan

Kevin P. Rossbach Louise P. Rossell

Barbara Lynn Roy

David Michael Ryan

Lee Caleb Rothstein

John William Royal, Jr.

Jeri L. Sagemuehl Priscilla Ann Sager Teresa P. Salemi Joan Mae Santo

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Joyce Lynne Schneider

William Schauber, Jr.

Diana Lynn Schmidt

Richard Kenneth Schaaf

William Schlotterback

Constance Sarmousakis

Dolores Schlotterback

Joanne D. Schnatterer

Robert Saviet

Philip John Schneider

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Kathy Marie Sassa

Lou Ann Schwarten James L. Scotton

Robin N. Seidenstat

Bonnie B. Schwartz

Virginia L. Sennet

Matthew L. Severns

John Terence Scully

Mary M. Sellinger

Dusit Sermtavisub

*

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Frederick H. Schranck

Patricia Jane Shaffer

Cynthia Anne Shapiro Deirdre M. Shaughnessy

John L. Shaw Eileen Lavonne Shea Sandra K. Sheaffer Lois Anne Shepheard

Peter E. Sheridan Susan Rebecca Shone Steven I. Shukow Karl Woodfin Shuler

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Thomas R. Shanklin

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James Alan Sieke

Lora Anne Silsbee

Sheila Mary Simmons Raquel Sinai Walter David Sincoskie William Sing, Jr.

Jeremy Sitzer Cynthia Anne Skibicki Paula Adele Skinner Raymond P. Skinner

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Bette Lynn Smith Darlene K. Slaughter Barbara Ann Smick Barbara Jane Smith

Kathryn Leigh Smith

Nancy A. Smith

Christine Ann Smith

Marcia Jean Smith

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Robin Virginia Smith Ronald Coe Smith

Virginia Marie Smith Wayne Charles Smith

Deborah Kay Snyder

John Andrew Sofranko Barry Neil Solan

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Barbara J. Smithey

Andrea Jean Sommer Marjorie Susan Souders Nina Ann Sourochnikoff

Susan Carol Staehlin David Stahl

Ronald F. Stansbury

Martha Ann Speck

Jeffrey Scott Sprouse

Susan Spies Susan Katherine Spilka

George L. Squire

Beverly Jean Stengel

James Alfred Stewart Jane Price Stewart

Robin Kay Stevenson

Alice Jeanne St. John Teresa Joan Stokes

Jeanne Marie Stenson Charles Leon Stewart

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Michael R. Stanton Helen B. Stauffer

Linda Sue Stauffer Mary Ann Steen

Wayne Lee Stoltzfus

Kathryn Mary Sullivan

Genevieve Ellen Stong

William L.J. Sullivan

Jane Aliene Strieker

Charles J. Strowhouer

John Bassett Strange

Juanelle A. Strickland

Lisa Ann Strusowski

William C. Storey, Jr.

237

Kathi Lynn Suto

John Carl Swiski

Janice Louise Sutera Terri Lee Surles

Craig Knox Tanner

Diane Marie Surma

Francis S. Talarowski

Gail Ann Tarlow

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Linda Jean Taylor Cynthia Terry Jeffrey L. Thielker Kathy Ann Thomas

Donna V. Thompson Larry J. Thompson Deborah Jo Thompson

David A. Tillery

R. Randall Thornton

George Taylor Jeffrey Lynn Taylor

Valerie W. Tompkins Lawrence W. Tomsic Paul Francis Toomey

Danny Wayne Towery Robin Lynn Trabbold

Jane Marie Travis Janice Marie Traynor Mary Alice Trimble

Willie Loretta Tripp Craig R. Trostle Frank Edgar Trullender Frank David Turner

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David L. Topel

Carol D. Tynan

Richard Uniatowski

Ronnie Redden Tyson

Nosratollah Valizadeh

Janet A. Varnes

Joseph Anton Verheggen

Abiodun Belinda Vaughan

Debra M. Veronick

Barbara Ellen Verble Victor Anthony Ventresca

C. Marilyn Vey Marianne Olivia Voight

Julie Ann Voris

Mark D. Vuolo Sharyn Lee Wakefield Jane Melinda Walker

Mary Theresa Volkman

Sidney Louis Wagner

Karen Leigh Walls Alan Edward Walter Virginia Lee Walters

Deborah Ann Walther

Terry Lee Wasko Frances Marie Weidman

Sandra Lee Walls

Randall Lee Ward

Jeanne Marie Wasilik Thomas Joseph Ware

Walter Weidemann III Diane Tina Weaver

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Daniel Martin Welch Marilyn Mae Welch

Mary Ellen Weinstein

Pamela Marie Wells

James Arthur Weiland

Keith Raymond Weiss

Robert Eugene Welsh Jr.

Carrie Susan Wenzer Karen Eileen Wertsch Melinda Ann West Martin West

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David Fleming Weikart

Deborah Lynn Weston Carol Ann White Patricia Sue White

David Ott Widdoes

Sammie Lane Whitman

Marcy Rose Wieseman

Stephanie Lynne Willis

Denise Evelyn Wike Bonnie Jean Williams

Elaine Theresa Willits

Richard Charles Willits Franklin K. Wills, III

Sarah B.G. Wilson Melanie Jane Wilson

Ann Ellen Winter Sarah Margaret Winters Linda F. Winfield Dorothy Lee Winkler

Dale Louise Wise

Steven C. Wittmer

Bernice Witkowski

Thea Marie Wolf Timothy Dukes Wolfe

Linda Sharon Witten

Tracey Jayne Wolfe John Damien Worth Edward John Wright Linda L. Woodall

Kenneth W. Wright

Gary Robert Young

Diane E. Yokota

Rebecca Susan Young

Wayne R. Wyckoff

Carol Rae Yetter

James Joseph Yacucci Mojtaba Yamin Nancy Wistar Yearsley

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Ling Linda Yuan Leonard Zabinko Robert Mitchell Zalkind

Thomas Zawislak

Martha Theresa Zingo Nancy Jo T. Zion

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Deborah Lynn Younger

Laverne Zaremba

Steven Zenorini Deborah Ann Ziegler

Jonathan R. Zolin

(A synopsis of four years? No, that could all be done in a few words. I'd rather force the shadow-characters into action again. Ready, Clyde?)

"What do you mean 'ready'? We're not even dressed yet. You told us we weren't on until a quarter of five."

(Okay, okay. You've got four minutes. Quit carping or you'll be erased. I could always create somebody else.)

"Hold on mate. . . Mortimer, where are my hat and pipe?" (Sorry for the delay folks, but you just can't believe what you

read . . . Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself. The Community Design Report will pop up later. Right now it's time for

) "Austerlitz Mercenaries, Ltd. May I help you? Oh,

yes, sir! We'd be pleased to accept the contract. Yes, thank you, sir. Right."

(Ready yet, Clyde?) "No, and it's Inspector Clyde to you! Blimey, I've lost

Mortimer." (Never mind, Austerlitz is still on. Take your time and find the

little creep before I write him right out of this thing.) "Why don't you come down here and take his place if you're

so smart?" (Brilliant, Clyde! Who's gonna run this typewriter?

Anyway, I might be down later if I get bored.) "Bored? Bah!" (Sorry, again. I'll switch back to the mercenaries ) "Bloody pest! Right! Now who's going to volunteer for this

simple assignment?" "What's the job, Sarge?" "Child's play, really. We're to accompany an Inspector

Clyde and his assistant to the Delaware Null-Zone to determine whether the university is private or state-owned and most im-portantly to solve the riddle of the University Community."

"University Community?" "Yes, it's the descendent of the Lost Colony of Roanoke.

According to the legend, it was mentioned in that mystic tome, The Community Design Report. Our job is to look for survivors. Right! Now who's going then?"

The rush for the door created a vacuum that swept papers across the floor and terrified the cat who was only there as a prop anyway.

(C'mon you guys, we're way behind. Austerlitz Mercenaries Ltd. is out of the story.)

"Wait a moment here. You can't do that! You can't just burst

by Bill Mahoney

in here every few minutes and cause trouble like we were some kind of bloody puppets."

(Okay, wait a second ) Brringggg-Brringgg "Hello, Austerlitz Mercenaries Ltd. May I help you

What do you mean the contract has been cancelled? You can't do that? Well, same to you, mate."

(Is that acceptable?) "Bloody cretin." (You ready yet, Clyde?) "Yes, and I've found Mortimer." (Okay, where are you?) "We're in a small apartment, corner of Fifth and Madison in

New York." (Not any more. You're in the Delaware Null-Zone now.

Good Luck.) Inspector Clyde and Mortimer dropped heavily on the

ground just in time to avoid a nearly head-on collision with a white rabbit.

"I 'm late, I'm late," shrieked the rabbit as he put away his calendar and sextant and headed off across the barren wastes toward Dover.

"Wait! Who are you and where are you going in such a hurry?" inquired the Inspector.

"I 'm Postfactocommitteeand I'm late for an important vote in Dover. See you guys at the next rally picnic on the mall."

"Swell ," mumbled Mortimer. The Inspector ignored the vacuous slogans flung across the

field by the rabbit and walked on to where a small pad marked "Finish Me" lay on the grass.

"Work papers for tuition, I suppose," exclaimed the Inspec-tor.

"Hey, my wallet's shrunk. And it's empty, too!" hollered Mortimer.

"Yes, but look behind you Mortimer." Behind the pair stood a manniken with a sign around

its neck that begged "Pay me." He also sported a smoking revolver in one hand and a cash register in the other.

"I am the Bursar," cried the manniken. "Pay Me." "But I only have " "Sorry," said the Bursar, "but I've just been informed that in

the last 2.5 seconds the tuition has been raised 5% for out-of-staters."

250

"This is an outrage/' cried the Inspector. "We will not negotiate. Now fork over the cash, pal or we'll

ruin your future for a few lousy dollars." "Bloody robbers," hissed Mortimer. "Curiouser and curiouser," added the Inspector. "Sorry, but that's business. If you wanted an education you

should have gone elsewhere," grinned the Bursar. Suddenly, a new megaphone-boosted voice broke the stale-

mate. "Open your books or we'll cut your budget!" cried a strange

bird. "Bah! It's the Dodo and his friends from the state legislature." "Give it up, Bursar, or we'll be forced to ask that dreaded

question 'Public or Private?'" With a single, howling "Bah!" the Bursar disappeared down

a deep hole. "He took my wallet, Inspector!" moaned an outraged Mor-

timer. "Forget your wallet. I think we've got other problems." "Hello, I'm the Dodo and these boys are Legislators. You

didn't happen to see a white rabbit around here didja?" "Yes, he was heading off towards Dover when we last saw

him." "Good . . . uh . . . I mean . . . that's too bad. We could

have worked so well together." At this the Legislators snickered as if some private joke has

just been unleashed. "Well , as I said, I'm the Dodo and I think it's time for a

Caucus-race. Wadda ya think, fellas?" "Sure thing, boss." "What is the object of this Caucus-race?" queried the Inspec-

tor. "It's our job. That's what we got elected to do." "But you're all running around in a circle! You're not doing

anything constructive." "Now you're getting the idea, bub. We run around in circles

so it looks as if we're doing something. That way we get re-elected."

"It looks idiotic to me." added Mortimer. "Now that's gratitude for you. We scare the Bursar away and

you make fun of us," said the Dodo with a mock wince. "Yes, but he took my assistant's wallet," complained Clyde. "So? We tried didn't we? Do you think we had anything to

gain by standing up to the Bursar? Do you think we care

whether the university is public or private?" "Well " "You will vote for us, won't you? Look what we've done for

you." "I think that we shall be going now." "Okay, leave if you want, but you wouldn't want to make a

campaign contribution wouldja?" Inspector Clyde and Mortimer ignored this last remark and

walked across the grass toward a strange clump of vegetation as the Dodo cackled on in the background.

"Hey, hide you Legislators, the white rabbit's coming. Some-body tell him the vote's tomorrow."

Mortimer and the Inspector quickly came upon a shapeless mass wedged atop a giant mushroom. The mass was puffing smoke from a hookah with one hand and guzzling cheap beer with the other.

"Hey man, the name's Studentbody and I'm wrecked. Who are you dudes?"

"Yes, well we're strangers here . . . " "We're all strangers here, man. Pull up a toadstool

My real name's In-State Studentbody and I'd introduce youse to my brother, Outa State, but he spends most of his time riding buses away from here."

"No loss, I'm sure," replied Mortimer congenially. "Youse guys want to get wrecked?" "No thank you, we're normal." "But there ain't nothing to do around here but get wrecked." "You could do something constructive for this place." "But man, why bother? We can't change nothing and be-

sides, I'd much rather get wrecked and pretend the problems aren't there."

"What about art? Doesn't creativity mean anything around here?"

"Art? Yeah, we got art. We go down and watch Marx Brothers flicks once a week before we get wrecked."

"Poor deranged cretin. I wish there was something we could do for him, but I don't think euthanasia is legal around here," said Clyde.

"Hey man, who cares, you know?" "Well , be seeing you," offered Clyde as they turned to go.

continued on page 396

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