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KEEPING IT OFF!

Training Hunger Responses

There are three basicreasons why an individualeats: true hunger

(physiological – body signal);situational (in response to a place,person, or event); or, emotional (inresponse to a feeling). It has beenwell demonstrated that the personwith a weight problem overeats(also sometimes called maladaptiveor inappropriate eating) more inresponse to external or emotionalcues, rather than to internal, normalphysiological cues. That means thatmost overeating takes place whenthere is no true hunger present.

In several of our other handoutswe have described methods ofdealing with situational (externalcue) eating. Nevertheless, probablythe most difficult problem for theoverweight person to deal with iseating triggered by various feelings.The purpose of this publication isto describe the manner in whichemotions lead us to overeat andhow we can best learn to deal withthis phenomenon. A thorough studyand application of the techniqueswe will describe are therefore animportant component of the overalleffort of the person who seriouslywishes to learn to control his or herinappropriate eating habits.

It’s a very powerful cue to eat

Emotional cues for eating are, nodoubt, among the most compellingforces that result in maladapted

eating behavior. All of us canpossibly recall when a feeling ofanger, frustration, loneliness orboredom triggered an eatingepisode. Now, it’s true that thinpeople eat in response to emotions,too, but turning to food in times ofstress can wreak havoc on theefforts of a person who has aweight problem.

It may often begin with a minorfood ingestion. Yet, it has atendency to feed upon itself (nopun intended) and frequently resultsin a major eating spree. Supposesomething in your environmenttouches off a strong feeling.Because of your previous methodof coping with this emotion, youturn to a small amount of food.Even if the food temporarilysoftens the intensity of the feeling,if you’ve got a weight problem,another emotion, guilt, is set off bythe food ingestion. This guiltfeeling may be as strong, or evenstronger, than the original emotionyou tried to allay by eating. Thisguilt inevitably leads to furthereating of larger and largerquantities. You feel worse, you eatmore, feel worse, eat even more,etc., until you’re so miserable youcan’t eat any more – or, there isnothing left to eat. Once thisvicious cycle begins, it is verydifficult to stop.

The first step in gaining controlover emotional eating cues is toincrease your awareness of whetheryour appetite for food at any

particular moment isbeing caused byppssyycchhoollooggiiccaall (falsehunger) or pphhyyssiioollooggiiccaall(true hunger) signals.You should develop thehabit of asking yourself

before each food ingestion: “Am Ireally hungry?” If the answer is yes,it is probably safe to begin eating.If the answer is no, however, thechances are that you are feeling theimpulse to eat in response to an

Contents:

Your own private monologue 2

Beliefs are learned . . . . . . .3

Types of “crooked thinking” 4

Traits versus behavior . . . .4

Part 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

The I-Q-R technique . . . . . .6

Tune-in to your thoughts . .8

Seven groups of nutty thinking

of the obese person . . . . .10

Part 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11

Why crooked thinking ensures

failure in weight control . . .11

Breaking the eating chain .11

Types of emotional states 12

Fatigue and depression . .13

Boredom and loneliness . .14

Anger and frustration . . . .15

Anxiety and mental anguish 15

Exonerating inferior

performance . . . . . . . . . . .16

The most perilous word:

“but” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16

Learning to manage your mental

environment . . . . . . . . . . .17

Clinical Nutrition Center7555 E. Hampden Ave., Suite 301, Denver, CO 80231

303-750-9454

Ethan Lazarus, MD i www.ClinicalNutritionCenter.com Page #1

Lesson #8: Emotional Overeatingpart 1 of 3

Clinical Nutrition Centerwww.ClinicalNutritionCenter.com

emotional arousal. So, we must firstdefine and trace its origins. Armedwith such knowledge, we can thendesign a strategy to deal with theemotion by means other thaneating.

Emotion: a state of arousal

When we feel anemotion we are in astate that departsfrom our usual senseof inward mentalbalance. Emotionscan either be positive(e.g. happiness andjoy) or negative (e.g.depression andanger). In either caseit is an intensifiedfeeling which is a normal part ofliving. A lack of emotionalexperiences would make for a veryboring and dull life. Thus, theemotional experience is not of itselfbad or undesirable, but it is the waythat we cope with this feeling thatgets us into difficulty, especiallywhen our primary coping method isto turn to food.

Notwithstanding, before we canlearn new ways of coping with ouremotional states, we must knowwhere they originate. The principalmessage we want to convey to youis: TThheerree iiss aallwwaayyss aa tthhoouugghhtt tthhaattpprreecceeddeess aa ssppeecciiffiicc eemmoottiioonn tthhaatt yyoouubbeeccoommee aawwaarree ooff –– or to state it insimpler terms –– tthhoouugghhttss lleeaadd ttooffeeeelliinnggss!!

Therefore, it becomes necessarythat we trace backwards, anddetermine what thoughts we hadprior to any emotional state. Forinstance, the Christmas holidays canresult in one person feelingdepressed while another onebecomes elated. Why is there such a

marked difference to a similar set ofcircumstances? It is due to thethoughts that are associated withthe event. For example, in the firstinstance the holidays may revivesome painful memories of a lovedone who has died. Thoughts such asthese can lead the person to feeldepressed and unhappy about the

loss of a close friendor relative. In thesecond instance, theholidays may awakenmemories of happypast experiencesduring this season,and such a person islikely to have feelingsof gaiety and delight.It should becomequite apparent to you

that the way you interpret an event,or how you choose to think aboutit, is fundamentally what determineshow you are going to feel about it.The cardinal rule, then, is that tocontrol your emotions (andresultant emotional eating), youmust learn to control yourthoughts!

Your own private monologue

Since interpretation of a situationis the critical factor that determinesthe resulting emotion, a brief lookat how the human mind interprets aparticular predicament is helpful.We do it by a process of what wewill call self-talk. Such self-talk canbe either encouraging or self-defeating. Negative or inappropriateself-talk is the main culprit that leads tonegative feelings. The next step in thismental arousal is to make a choiceof coping with the emotion. If theonly behavior in your coping bag oftricks is eating, such an emotionwill inevitably lead to thismaladaptive response.

The important point is that suchself-talk is learned. How you learnit depends on many variables: yourcultural background; your ethnicbackground; whether you are maleor female; how your parents andpeople you interact with respond toa similar situation, etc. We are notborn with genes that determine howwe interpret events that go onabout us in particular ways by thekind of self-talk we engage in. It isan axiom of behavioral psychologythat aannyytthhiinngg tthhaatt iiss lleeaarrnneedd ccaann bbeeuunnlleeaarrnneedd – or, can be rree--lleeaarrnneedddifferently. Thus, to learn self-control over our emotions, we musthouseclean and learn new ways ofreplacing negative monologues withmore appropriate ones. Your mindmight be compared to a computer.The input (event) has to beprocessed (interpreted) before anoutput (behavior) results.

One might use the analogy ofprograms that have been stored in acomputer in delineating theinterpretation (self-talk) process.The programs stored in your brainconsist of your expectations, goals,belief system, bank of memoriesand your self-image. The input cansometimes be provided verysurreptitiously. It need not alwayseven be verbal.

A “program” in operation

Consider the following series ofevents to illustrate how suchprocessing takes place. (This is anactual experiment we ask patients toconduct if they doubt the powerfuleffects that self-talk can have onthe behavior of a person).

You have just lost 40 pounds.You still need to lose another 20pounds. Even so, you have justbought a new smaller outfit. It is

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Ethan Lazarus, MDKeeping It Off!

Lesson #8: Emotional Overeating

Holidays canresult in one per-

son feelingdepressed while

another onebecomes elated.

the first day you wear it at yourplace of employment. Your bosssees you in it. He doesn’t sayanything. Just gives you a longglance, mumbles “Hummm,” shakeshis head, and walks away. That wasthe input.

Now comes the self-talk, basedon your program (self-image,memory bank, value system, goals,etc.):

“Why did he give me that look? Hemust disapprove. I r eally shouldn’t havebought this outfit until I had lost moreweight. I still look fat (self-image). It’sprobably too tight for my legs. My friendshave always remarked that I have apretty face, but that my legs are too lar ge(memor y bank). I should look more likethe person who modeled the outfit for me(expectations, goals). It looked better onhim/her. People like myself can justnever wear outfits like that (valuesystem). I wonder if my boss is laughingat me? Am I making a fool of myself ? Imust r eally look ridiculous.”

Chances are very strong thatyou’ll take the next opportunity tolook at yourself in a full lengthmirror – from all sides – as youturn around several times to studyyour reflected image.

More self-talk: “The outfit is toolong . No, it’s too short. It’s r eally tootight around the middle. No, it’s tooloose. Hangs like a bag on me – noshape at all. Maybe the color isn’t right.I should have gotten a darker shade. Iwish I hadn’t told the sales person abouthow fat I used to be. I’m too embar rassedto take it back.”

By the time you arrive home thatevening you are feeling veryunhappy and frustrated. You don’treally like that outfit any more. Itwas a mistake to buy it. You couldhave spent the money on somethingmore useful. You feel pretty guiltyabout making such a stupidpurchase.

EEmmoottiioonn:: frustration, depression,guilt, anger about wasting themoney, fear about disapproval fromyour boss, on whom you’ve beentrying to make a good impression.

BBeehhaavviioorr:: You are all alone in thehouse. There is some ice cream leftin the refrigerator. You decide tohave just half a cup. Maybe, it willmake you fell better. Sure tastedgood! So, you have some more,while you’re trying to figure outwhat you can do with that outfit.Before you know it, you’ve eatenthe whole quart.

Sound familiar? And it allhappened without a single wordhaving been spoken. The only inputwas a glance and shake of the head.It’s the negative self-talk that led tothe negative emotion and,ultimately, to the maladaptiveemotional eating episode.

Beliefs are learned

A fundamental component of theprograms stored in your computer(brain) is the system of beliefs you

have developed (learned). Sinceyour personal programs determinehow you will handle the input (e.g.,an event), and since these programsare responsible for the final output(e.g., improper eating behavior), itbecomes important to examine yourbbeelliieeff ssyysstteemm . If you’re going to learnto replace self-destructivemonologues with appropriate self-talk (so that you can get in controlof your emotions) you will need toknow how your beliefs trigger suchharmful self-talk. That means thatwe must first define the word“belief.”

Your beliefs are not necessarilyfactual. If they were facts therewould be no need for an act offaith on your part. Beliefs consistof tenets or convictions that youhold concerning certain ideas orrealities. To put it in simpler words,beliefs make up the perspectivesyou have about the world thatsurrounds you. They are ideas towhich you firmly subscribe. Theymay embody not only your conceptsof certain facts, but also yourconcepts of how things ought tobe.

Furthermore, they embrace yourself-concept as you perceiveyourself to be, and also as youthink you ought (would like) to be.Your self-image (how you seeyourself now, and how you wouldlike to see yourself in the future) isincorporated in what you believeabout events, other persons andyour own person. These beliefs areaccumulated throughout yourlifetime. They are influenced byyour cultural background and thepeople that associate with you. Canyou see the similarity to thedevelopment of certain habitpatterns? Both beliefs and habitsare affected by similar elements. In


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other words, both of them areLEARNED!

It’s time to “question”your

beliefs

Harmful habits can be unlearnedand new ones can be developed totake their place. So it is with yourbeliefs. You were not born withthem (just as you were not bornwith your habit patterns).Therefore, it is possible to changeharmful beliefs to more productiveones. We are not recommendingthat you completely overhaul allyour thinking and beliefs. Wemerely propose that you identifythose beliefs that are detrimental toyou, and replace them with beliefsthat are constructive and beneficialto your emotional well-being. Byquestioning the validity of some ofyour injurious assumptions you willfree yourself from their restrictiveinfluence. Once you realize theimportant role your beliefs play indetermining your emotions (howyou feel), you are more likely toaccept new information and adopthealthier attitudes about yourselfand others. When you haveaccomplished this first importantstep, you will be well on the roadtowards getting in control of youremotions as well as your behavior.

Replacing self-talk with self-

questioning

Let us repeat the basic premisefor the sake of emphasis. Emotions(including those that lead toovereating) do not just happenmagically, out of the clear sky. Theyare produced by your self-talk(beliefs and interpretations basedon those beliefs). Consequently, youcan ultimately control your feelingsif you choose (control) your self-talk wisely. Harmful beliefs have

also been called irrational ideas orby a more descriptive term that weprefer, namely, ccrrooookkeedd tthhiinnkkiinngg!!

In order to begin usingappropriate self-talk you must firstidentify the irrational beliefs thatcause inappropriate, self-destructivemonologues, and are the basis ofthe emotional disturbances that leadyou to eat when you’re not reallyhungry. Obviously, crookedthoughts will vary with theindividual. Nevertheless, to helpyou identify them when they occur,there are several categories ofirrational thinking that we list foryou below. Recognizing thesethoughts when they occur is theinitial step in coping with yourinjurious emotional states. The nextstep is to immediately REPHRASEthe thought and correct theunhealthful self-talk.

Types of “crooked thinking”

11.. CCeerrttaaiinn tthhiinnggss tthhaatt II ddoo aarree tteerrrriibbllee,,and I must be punished for havingdone them.

22.. IItt iiss mmuucchh eeaassiieerr ttoo aavvooiidd ssoommeetthhiinnggtthhaatt iiss ddiiffffiiccuulltt ffoorr mmee,, and I am notcapable of assuming responsibilityfor my own behavior.

33.. II mmuusstt aallwwaayyss bbee ppeerrffeeccttllyy ccoommppeetteenntt,,and if I don’t achieve 100% ofwhat I set out to do, I am a failure.

44.. II mmuusstt bbee aabbllee ttoo eexxeerrtt ppeerrffeecctt ccoonnttrroolloovveerr eevveerryytthhiinngg tthhaatt hhaappppeennss,, and Icannot enjoy my life without suchconstant control.

55.. II hhaavvee nnoo ccoonnttrrooll oovveerr mmyy eemmoottiioonnss oorrffeeeelliinnggss,, and, therefore, am notresponsible for my resultantbehavior.

66.. HHaappppiinneessss iiss aa ppaassssiivvee ssttaattee ooff mmiinndd,,and I am not responsible if my

surroundings cause me to feelunhappy.

77.. II hhaavvee aallwwaayyss rreeaacctteedd nneeggaattiivveellyy ttoo aacceerrttaaiinn sseett ooff cciirrccuummssttaanncceess,, and I cannever change.

88.. II mmuusstt bbee lloovveedd bbyy eevveerryyoonnee aallll ooff tthheettiimmee,, and if what I do displeasesothers, I cannot change the waythey feel about me.

99.. II nneeeedd aann oouuttssiiddee ffoorrccee ggrreeaatteerr tthhaannmmyysseellff ttoo ccoorrrreecctt mmyy ccoommppuullssiivvee bbeehhaavviioorr,,and cannot assume responsibilityfor taking corrective action.

1100.. IItt’’ss jjuusstt aawwffuull wwhheenn tthhiinnggss ddoonn’’tt ggootthhee wwaayy II wwaanntt tthheemm ttoo ggoo,, and I canonly feel sorry for myself undersuch circumstances.

1111.. MMyy mmiisseerryy iiss ccaauusseedd bbyy ootthheerr ppeeoopplleeaanndd eevveennttss,, and it’s just horriblewhen things aren’t the way I’d likethem to be.

1122.. WWhheenn ssoommeetthhiinngg uuppsseettttiinngg hhaappppeennss ttoommee tthhaatt II ccaannnnoott ccooppee wwiitthh,, II aamm jjuussttiiffiieeddiinn ffeeeelliinngg tteerrrriibbllee aabboouutt iitt,, and Icannot be expected to act rationallyunder such circumstances.

Traits versus behavior

Notice that all these crookedthoughts have a common threadrunning through them. They tend toemphasize personality traits ordefects rather than behaviors. Thisimplies a fatalistic attitude. Afterall, deep-seated personalinadequacies are not amenable tochange. On the other hand, we havealready shown you that how you act(behavior) is subject to alteration ormodification. Self-talk such as:“Things I do are terrible.” “I am afailure.” “I have no control over myfeelings.” “I can never change.”“My misery is caused by otherpeople.” “I cannot be expected to


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act rationally.” – these statementshave an inexorable predestinationand finality aboutthem. They are alsooften used as anexplanation and excusefor continuing toengage in maladaptiveeating behavior. Theself-talk must beshifted to the behavioritself (how you acted,not why you acted thatway). In doing so, itmust be realistic andyou must avoid pessimistic andpunitive language. Negative self-talkleads to negative feelings of guilt,anger, frustration and depression.

Evaluate the crooked thought

Once the crooked thinking hasbeen identified, the next step is toevaluate its rreeaassoonnaabblleenneessss . If theself-talk has emphasized a personalinadequacy (trait), then shift thefocus on the deficiency of theactual behavior. For instance, whenyou hit a weight plateau, the self-talk might go something like this: “Ihaven’t lost any weight the last twoweeks. It’s just not fair. Most of myfriends can eat as they please, andhere I am starving myself, havegiven up all my favorite foods, andI’ve got nothing to show for it. Nomatter how hard I try, I’ll neverlose any weight. I just feel sodepressed. I might as well eat andenjoy myself. At least, I will feelbetter. I just can’t go on sufferinglike this without any results. I’vejust resigned myself to the fact thatI was born to be fat, and I’m alwaysgoing to be fat. I’ll die fat!Whatever it takes, I just don’t haveit.”

When you examine this forreasonableness, it becomes quite

apparent that youare catastrophizing(no matter how hardI try, I’ll never loseany weight – I’ll diefat). The emphasisin this self-talkillustration has alsobeen on personalitytraits (whatever ittakes, I just don’thave it).Furthermore, you

have accentuated pounds lost duringa two week period. How long did ittake for you to put on thesepounds? You don’t becomeoverweight in two weeks – morelikely in terms of months and years.Besides, how many pounds did youlose prior to the two week plateau?Have you forgotten the successyou’ve had already?

Accentuate behavior, not

weight

Finally, you must stopemphasizing pounds lost over aspecific period of time. That’s reallytrivial from a long-term standpoint.Instead, begin emphasizingbehavior. Ask yourself, whatchanges in eating behavior have youachieved? Are you sitting down toeat now? Eating more slowly?Leaving just a little bit on yourplate? Making eating a soleexperience (not associated withother activities – e.g., TV, reading,etc.)? Pre-planning snacks as well asmeals? Keeping food records andrecording energy intake? These arethe elements of your weight controleffort that really count.

If, indeed, you have made somechanges in these habits, then it’stime to pat yourself on the back,and say something encouraging toyourself, such as: “I am makingprogress, slowly but surely. Overthe long haul, these lifestylechanges will have been worth theeffort. Without them, I’d be verylikely to quickly regain any weight Imight have lost during this two-week period.”


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Harmful beliefshave also been

called irrationalideas or crooked

thinking!

The I-Q-R technique

There is a three step sequence inrectifying crooked thinking, the IIQQRRtteecchhnniiqquuee:: IDENTIFY – QUESTION– REPLACE.

IDENTIFY: By knowing thecategories of crooked thinking, youcan detect these thoughts when theyoccur.

QUESTION: Next, you evaluatethem for being rational andreasonable. This involves ananalysis of the self-dialogue.Examine it for appropriateness. Areyou hyperbolizing? Being fatalistic?Blaming others or circumstances foryour inertia? Expecting perfectionand unreasonable goals foryourself ? This is a very importantstep because it sets the stage forhow you will carry out the finalstage of the sequence.

REPLACE: Based on theirrationality of self-talk, you maywish to re-interpret the situation.You may also wish to alter yourbelief system. Based on thisreevaluation, you now exchange thenegative, self-destructivemonologue for positive,constructive, appropriate self-talk.This requires patience andpersistent effort. Remember thatyour attitudes have developed overmany years. Expect changes in yourthinking to be gradual. Some of theold selfdestructive thoughts aredeeply engrained. Rome wasn’t builtin a day. Your negative attitudescannot be relied upon to suddenlyvanish. Just when you think you’vesupplanted an old inappropriateself-criticism, it will crop up again,especially when you’re exposed tostress. When under pressure, wetend to revert to our old negativepatterns. That should be a signal toyou that you’ve still got a problem.

Make a learning experience out ofit. How? By using problem-solvingapproaches for maladaptedbehaviors. Once crooked thoughtshave been thoroughly aired andhave literally been laid out on thetable, they are subject to the samemethods that are effective for habitchange.

Some hints for analysis

The most important step of theI-Q-R technique is the second one,questioning the reasonableness of athought. To determine whether athought should be placed in the“unreasonable” category, it is bestto use “logic” in an organizedmanner. We suggest the followingsteps:

1. Put it in a form you can

analyze.

If you’re going to ascertainwhether a thought is “crooked,” itmust be stated in such a way that itcan be examined for reasonableness.For instance, to say, “I am afraid tobe alone at night” cannot be eitherproved or disproved. You aremerely reporting a feeling, namely,that you are afraid under certaincircumstances. The reasonablenessof that thought cannot be examinedwithout more information orwithout making it conditional. Thatis, your being afraid of being aloneat night must be conditional uponsomething else (e.g., you have atendency to overeat under thesecircumstances). A good techniquefor putting your thought into ameaningful form is to use two basicwords: should and because. So, theabove thought can be rephrased: “ISHOULD feel afraid to be alone atnight, BECAUSE I overeat underthese circumstances.” Now we havesomething to work with –

something that can be analyzed forcorrectness or incorrectness.

2. Expand on the meaning of

words.

In order to be able to judge if astatement is true or false, you mustknow exactly what you mean orimply by the words you use. All keywords should be clearly defined, sothat there is no doubt about theirtrue meaning in the context of yourstatement. The key words in theabove statement are: afraid, alone,night and overeat. The truth of thethought will vary, dependent upontheir real connotation. So, let’s takea look at each key word in thatthought:

AFRAID: filled with fear orapprehension; terribly frightened;filled with concern or regret overan unwanted contingency;disinclined; reluctant; worried;awful. (As you can see there arevarious degrees of meaning; pickthe one that really applies here;probably worried comes closest toexpressing your true thought.)

ALONE: separated from others;exclusive of anyone or anythingelse; desolate; forlorn; lonely;lonesome; solitary; without aid. (Onanalysis you may decide that there isreally no sense of loss or drearinessinvolved, but mainly a feeling ofhaving to depend upon yourselfwithout support.)

NIGHT: the time from dusk todawn when no light of the sun isvisible; an evening taken as anoccasion or point of time; a periodto resemble the darkness of night.(You may actually be referring tothe time between 8 p.m. andmidnight, when your spouseordinarily arrives home – a four-


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Part 2 (of 3)

hour period – rather than the entirenight.)

OVEREAT: to eat too much; toeat to excess; to eat again; to snackcontinuously; to eat leftovers; to eatwhatever is in sight; to raid therefrigerator; to go on a binge. (Onexamining food records you findthat leftovers from dinner are themain culprit.)

Sometimes it is helpful to lookthese types of words up in thedictionary. It will allow you tocrystallize your thinking. Wordssuch as good, bad, evil, crazy,wrong, sinful, irresponsible, ought,love, hate, etc., have manymeanings, and the truth of aparticular thought will depend onhow you define these words. Withthe simple examination of the fourkey words in our example, we arenow able to restate the originalthought with a more explicitmeaning: “I should be worriedwhen I am by myself and have todepend on my own strength,without support from others,between 8 p.m. and midnight,because I tend to eat the leftoversfrom dinner.” Now, that’s astatement you can sink your teethinto, and really examine forreasonableness.

3. Decide on the rules of the

game.

Before you can prove or disproveanything, you must decide by whatrules you are going to play. There isno point in collecting evidenceunless you first decide what kind ofevidence you need. You will needfactual data to either support orreject the idea. How are you goingto go about verifying yourstatement without deciding whichfacts are relevant to the issue? A

good formula to use in this step isto precede the method of proofwith the words: “It is true if…” and“It is false if…”

Basically, there are five types ofrules you can apply to solve thetruthfulness of a statement.

1. Consult an authoritative source.2. Use your powers of logic andreasoning.3. Use your five senses.4. Use your own past experience inthis area.5. What is generally accepted astrue by others?

In the example we have beenusing, you would apply knowledgegained from past experience, logicand an authority in the field.

Let us elaborate a bit on thereason for making specific choicesfor specific problems. One methodmight be suitable for a particularsituation, yet, may be absolutelyridiculous when applied to another.For instance, if you wanted to knowif the sun revolves around the earthor vice versa, or if someone can betrusted, you would not use yoursenses. They might tell you that thesun does, indeed, revolve aroundthe earth (at least it looks that wayto you – your senses), and, ofcourse, you would be totally wrong.Instead, you should consult anauthoritative source. Conversely, todetermine if you like the taste of acertain kind of chocolate, you willhave to depend on your senses. Anauthoritative source could notsupply you with that kind ofinformation.

4. Examine data, and 5. Make

judgment.

After having accumulated relevantdata, based on the method(s) youhave picked to prove the rationalityof the statement, you examine allthe evidence with a critical eye.Finally, you act like the judge in acourt of law and render yourverdict: ttrruuee oorr ffaallssee?? If thestatement has been declared false, itmeans that you could not come upwith any evidence to fully supportit. Therefore, it is classified as a“crooked thought” and should becountered with a rational one. Sincethis involves logic and reasoning,your previous analysis of thethought will be of tremendous helpin formulating a replacement. Keepin mind, however, that the irrationalthought may be very strong (it mayhave been there a long time, andyou’ve had more practice withirrational self-talk). Years ofcrooked thinking cannot beexpected to vanish from a fewminutes of logical reasoning. Yet, ifyou persist and work very hard withthis method, the truth will win out.Eventually, you will achieve a newperspective of the world thatsurrounds you and your emotionalreaction to it.

Applying the method

A good way to learn the fivesteps of analyzing crooked thinkingis to study the following illustrationof an actual application of thetechnique. Here is the tthhoouugghhtt to beevaluated for reasonableness: “Imight as well quit my dieting effortsbecause that cheesecake I had willcost me several pounds. I am just afailure because I can never stick toa diet on weekends.”


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True meaning of words:

QUIT: no point going on; stopall efforts to reduce.

FAILURE: I am totallyunsuccessful in my dieting attempts;it’s a complete disaster.

NEVER: at no time, or underany circumstances has there everbeen a weekend during which Istuck with the program.

Rules of the game:

IT’S TRUE IF one mistake issufficient cause for stopping allefforts to control my weight.

IT’S TRUE IF an average pieceof cheesecake contains at least100,000 calories or more.

IT’S TRUE IF I have never beensuccessful in any of my dietingattempts.

IT’S FALSE IF I have beensuccessful in losing some weightalready on this program.

IT’S FALSE IF there have beenweekends in my past life duringwhich I have successfully followed apre-planned food program.

Examination of the data:

a) No one is perfect. Everyonemakes mistakes. Those that getright back on after the deviation arethe ones that are successful in thelong term.

b) One average piece ofcheesecake contains about 400calories. That’s equal to slightly lessthan two ounces of body fat.

c) My past record shows thatthere have been times when I wasvery successful while dieting.

d) On weekends when I was pre-occupied with non-food relatedactivities that I enjoyed, I didn’teven think about food. In fact, I atevery little during those times.

Final judgment of statement:

The statement is false !! It isirrational and represents crookedthinking. I will replace it with thefollowing realistic thought:

“Why should one slice ofcheesecake containing 400 caloriesundo all the hard work I’ve done sofar? I’m not a participant in theOlympics and don’t have to beperfect. I’m learning a new lifestyle,and changing lifelong maladaptiveeating habits takes a long time. I’mmaking slow but steady progress,am proud of my success thus far,and will learn to handle weekendsgradually, in small progressive steps.Setting standards too high isunrealistic.”

Tune-in to your thoughts

Our example illustrates what youshould do when a self-defeatingseries of thoughts occur to you. Buthow do you get started? You cannotanalyze your thinking unless youincrease your awareness of yourthought processes first. Well, youcan use the same techniques youused in becoming more aware ofyour eating behavior; that is,becoming mindful not only of whatyou eat, but also how you eat. Justas you were observing whether youwere eating standing up, whilereading, when alone, at a party, etc.,you should begin to monitor yourthoughts.

This can be accomplished byrecord keeping. You are alreadyused to keeping food records onwhich you record not only foodsingested, but also surroundingcircumstances. Similarly, you cankeep “Thought Records.” Each timeyou have a food-related thought, jotit down. Since you are carrying thefood records with you at all timesanyway (at least, you are supposedto), a good place to write thesethoughts is on the back of the foodrecord. Some people prefer to carrysome 3 x 5 cards to accomplish thistask. Exactly how you do it isunimportant. But get the job done!We cannot deal with our thoughtsunless we first collect the data. Inall respects, this is identical to whatis required of behavior change. Getit down in black and white first!You have already learned that youcan often alter your behavior bymanipulating your environment. If,up to now, you thought it was notpossible to alter your emotions(especially those that lead toovereating), this handout isdesigned to help you achieve exactlythis kind of control. As we havealready stated, you must modifyyour thinking in order to transformthe way you feel.

Listening to your own thoughts isa new experience. You will getbetter with practice. Remember howmuch trouble you had when youfirst started keeping detailed foodrecords? You will also recall that itbecame easier with time. When youare first beginning to tune in toyour food thoughts, you may deducethat you do not have these thoughtsvery often. This merely reflects thenewness of this method. As youbecome more expert at detectingsuch thoughts (with practice), youmay be astonished how frequentlythey do occur. After the thoughts


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have been recorded and are out inthe open you can deal with them.

Restructuring the mental

ecology

Once you are cognizant of yourthoughts, you are ready to apply theII--QQ--RR tteecchhnniiqquuee.. In psychologicalterms, this has been called cognitiverestructuring. To put it in lay terms,it means straightening out crookedthoughts! If you have a thoughtthat seems unreasonable, writedown a rational replacementthought – right below the irrationalstatement. Completing thissequence of maneuvers shouldindicate to you that you can beproud of that achievement. Youhave taken the first positive step insolving emotional overeating.Notice our use of the word PRIDErather than PRAISE. Any effectiveweight control program must bebuilt on PRIDE in yourattainments, not PRAISE by others.Praise is not nearly as dependablebecause it is usually notforthcoming when you need it themost.

The analysis method we havedescribed in detail will enable youto evaluate any thought forreasonableness. At the same time, itis not always necessary to gothrough this detailed procedure,because it has been found that 90percent of most weight controller’scrooked thinking falls into sevengeneral subdivisions. If a self-talkstatement falls into one of theseclassifications, it is almost surely anirrational thought. Once you haverecognized a thought as belongingin one of the seven groupings, thenall that remains to be done is tocounter it (replace it with anappropriate thought).

“Mental rule book” of the

obese person

We all grow up and learn a varietyof rules about the way the worldworks. We get into trouble when wediscover that some of the rules areNUTTY! Our thinking andperceiving is not always accurateand our behavior and response tothis thinking is not always adaptive.You might envision the brain asbeing comparable to a very complexcamera, one that is constantlyphotographing the inputand storing the pictures.The mental rule book islike a series of lenses.They are responsible forthe sharpness of theimage that will berecorded on the film.Unfortunately, our beliefsystem (mental rule book) is notalways error-free. There are variousdeformities and defects that manageto infiltrate our lens system (mentalrule book). Consequently, the finalimage (interpretation) willoccasionally be distorted andtwisted. Such a misrepresentation offactual data results in a crookedimage (nutty thinking, crookedmental rule book).

So, the central problem is thatone must distinguish betweenknowing something and believing it.Many of the things we teach toobese people are received with thesentiment: “Oh, that’s a great idea.I’m all gung-ho for this concept. Itsounds real good.” Yet, the methodis never adopted for incorporationinto their own lifestyle. Why is that?Well, from our discussion it shouldbe quite apparent why an idea isverbally and intellectually approved,but never implemented in practice.By the time it is filtered throughour system of lenses (mental rulebook) it has become so twisted that

our final interpretation leads us tofeel that: “It’s too difficult.” “Itdoesn’t apply to me.” “I shouldn’thave to work so hard to achieveweight control.” “It’s too restrictive.I want more freedom. It’s not fairthat I have to be so careful.” Or, itmight come out just the opposite:“I don’t have to do that. I’m gettingalong O.K. with the way I’mhandling it now.” “My problem isn’tbad enough to require such drasticmeasures.” “I’m too busy. Don’thave the time for it. I have more

important things Ihave to attend toright now.” “Suchdisastrousconsequences ofbeing overweightwon’t happen to me.Maybe to someoneelse – but, NOT

ME!” Finally, the thought to end allnutty thoughts (excuse the slightdramatization for the sake ofemphasis): “I don’t really have todo anything about my obesityproblem right now. Nothing seriousis going to happen to me if I go onthis way. The spaceship will landjust in time, deliver a new miracledrug, save me from disaster, andcure me of this curse forever.”

These statements are allrepresentative of crooked thinking,based on nutty and twisted rulesthat reside in our mental rule book.The seven categories of warped anddistorted thoughts follow:

Seven groups of nutty think-

ing of the obese person

NUTTY RULE #1: There aresome basic misconceptions aboutknown facts. Many people havemisconceptions about the energyvalue of certain foods (e.g., thecaloric value of the cheesecake inthe previous illustration). There are


Page #9



Each time youhave a food-

related thought,jot it down.

also many misconceptions about thecontribution of increased activity toenergy expenditure (e.g., “increasedactivity has a negligible effect onweight loss” – it ignores thecumulative effect). Consulting anauthoritative source is all that isrequired to prove that a thought isirrational. This is the easiestcategory to correct. All it requiresis education (e.g., the sun does notrevolve around the earth).

NUTTY RULE #2:Externalizing – we tend to blameother people and outside eventsfor the problem we are having incontrolling weight. Typical self-talk would be: “It wasn’t me. Iwanted to stay on the diet. Did yousee all that luscious food at thatparty? How could anyone resist thatbanana cream pie?”

“It’s my spouse’s fault. He/Sheshouldn’t have criticized me forhaving that dish of ice cream.He/She made me do it! I got somad that I ate the whole quart. I’llshow them! He/She will feel sorryfor ever saying that.” (Note that theguilt is shifted from yourself toanother person with this maneuver.This is also an example of howcrooked thinking is used as a copingtechnique for guilt. Of course, itleads to the emotion of anger,which then results in themaladaptive eating. Because of theneed for approval and dependencyon the spouse – see later discussionof needs – the anger cannot beexpressed in direct aggressivebehavior against the spouse.)

NUTTY RULE #3: We tend tothink of everything in personalterms. Self-talk: “Everyone isstaring at me. If I don’t have adrink or eat like everyone else,they’ll think I’m crazy. I’m the only

one who is fat in this group and Istand out like a sore thumb. I betterhave a jolly attitude so they canlaugh with me, rather than at me.”

NUTTY RULE #4: We tend toindulge in dichotomousreasoning. Everything is eithergood or bad, up or down, right orwrong,black or white.We havealready pointed out that we tend toignore a continuum of correctness.There are shades of gray. Self-talk:“I shouldn’t have had that dessert. Iblew my diet! Might as well enjoymyself and eat everything in sightfor the rest of this week. I’ll startagain next Monday.”

NUTTY RULE #5: We tend toovergeneralize and speakglobally, or hyperbolize. Self-talk:“I goofed again. This is the thirdtime this week. I feel sodemoralized and worthless as ahuman being. I’m just a totalfailure. Why even try? I’ll always bean incurable wretch. For a while Ithought I had this whipped, but I’mstill the same horrible, awful,crummy person that I’ll always be. Imight as well quit. I just can’t cutthe mustard. I’ll ALWAYS be afailure!” (Note the tendency todisasterize and treat everything as acatastrophe).

NUTTY RULE #6: We keep amental list of all the things we“should” or “ought” to do. Howmany times have we told ourselvesthat we ought to be a good father,mother, daughter or husband?Certainly we have told ourselvesthat we should be a good person, ora good dieter. That means that wemust strive for perfection 100percent of the time. Obviously, noone can do all things perfectly, allthe time.

NUTTY RULE #7: Todetermine our self-worth,wecompare ourselves to otherpeople. We often set upunreasonable goals for ourselves.We forget that we can’t all look likeMiss Universe or Mr. America.Furthermore, we do not all have thesame talents, and should not judgeour self-worth based on acomparison with the performanceof another person. Self-talk: “Poorme, I feel so deprived. If I were toeat like my skinny husband (orwife), I’d weigh three times as muchas I do now. It’s so unfair. God hascursed me this way. There is nojustice in this world!” (Example ofrational replacement thought: Well,maybe He did. So what. We have todeal with what we have and keepthings in reality).

The consequences of using thesenutty thoughts for our mental rulebook are many. A couple follow:

We tend to focus on the past.“I’ve always been fat, my motherand father were fat, my brothersand sisters are fat, my dog is fat,etc. I can never change. I’ll alwaysremain fat.”

We tend to focus on our bodiesand bodily functions. “I’mloathsome to look at. I just feel likea pig when I eat a big meal. I feelall swollen up. I am so ashamed ofmyself, but I can’t suffer throughany more hunger pangs. I havemore hunger than other people.”(There is no convincing scientificevidence that hunger is greater insome people. We all have the samephysiological cues. Certain peopleare simply more sensitive to varioussensations because they tend to pre-occupy themselves with thesesensations and focus in on them. So,they are more aware that they exist.)


Page #10



Why crooked thinking almost

ensures failure in weight con-

trol

You must exert every effortpossible to get your mentalrule book in order. Self-

destructive monologues can causethe collapse of the most well-intentioned commitment to staywith your weight control program.The reason is that self-talk is veryinextricably entwined with fourbasic needs that all obese peoplepossess, at least, to a certain degree.We will briefly discuss each one ofthese so that you will appreciate theimportance of the technique.

THE NEED FOR APPROVALOR ACCEPTANCE. Manyoverweight people find it verydifficult to continue their effortswithout approval from others. Theycannot take the risk of offendinganyone. Every year brings out a newbreed of diets. Almost everyoneyou speak to is a self-styled expertin weight reduction. The individualtrying to adhere to a specific foodplan will receive much advice fromthese so-called experts as to whathe or she should or should not do.If you were to follow all their manyrecommendations, you wouldbecome extremely confused. Such astate of mind can be the basis ofsome pretty crazy self-talk.

THE NEED FORCERTAINTY. This tends to leadus into rigidity. One of theproblems with diet club eating isthat we are drilled in a certain way.When something happens to throwus off the rigid diet plan, our self-talk will apprise us that “all is lost.”Can you see how our need forcertainty relates to two of thecategories in our book of crookedmental rules (dichotomous

reasoning andhyperbolizing)?

THE NEED FORCOMFORT. Weshouldn’t have to workhard to get what wewant. “Yeah, it wouldbe great to lose weight,but don’t expect me todo any work. If you aregoing to make me workhard so that I can getin control of myweight, I’ll gosomewhere else.” This type ofcrooked self-talk has been calledthe “magic wand syndrome.” We areforever looking for the magicsubstance that will make us thinforever, without any effort on ourpart. These thoughts are very self-destructive and are probably themost common cause of dropoutsfrom weight control programs thatare geared to lifestyle change (asthey must be for significant long-term results).

THE NEED TO SUCCEED. “Iwant to be perfect. I want it to beeasy. And, I want it right now!Instant Weight Control!”Unfortunately, there is no suchanimal.

All four of these NEEDS lay thefoundation for failure during aweight control effort if you attemptto satisfy them with irrationalthinking.

Breaking the eating chain

In learning to cope withemotional eating, it is helpful tolook upon the process as if it werea chain with many links. We canalter the series of events byintervening at any of the links thatcompose the chain. Obviously, the

earlier we intervene,the more effectivewill we be in ourattempt ofinterfering with theend result:overeating. It seemsthat the linksbecome stronger asyou near the end ofthe chain thatrepresents theoutput or finalmaladaptive eatingbehavior.

Nipping it in the bud

Dealing with the stimulus orinitiating event by, for instance,avoiding it, undoubtedly preventsthe chain from being formed, andthus annuls the emotional arousalthat invites the coping response offood ingestion. These signals musttherefore be identified (facilitatedby studying well-kept food intakerecords) and either eliminated fromyour environment (avoidancetechnique) or managed moreskillfully with proper pre-planning.If the situation cannot be totallyavoided, your response to it canoften be altered by techniquesdescribed in some of our otherpublications. People who trigger anemotional response can be dealtwith more effectively by usingassertiveness techniques (see It’sYour Right to be Thin!). Special events(e.g., holidays, vacations, parties,restaurants, etc.) can each becontrolled with specific methodsdistinctly suited to their uniqueproblems (see Pre-Planning: TheNumber One Weapon in the Battle ofthe Bulge!).


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Self-destructivemonologues can

cause the collapseof the most well-intentioned com-mitment to stay

with your weightcontrol program.

Part 3 (of 3)

Beyond the first link

Interruption of the chain canalso be practiced at a link furtheralong the succession of events. Wehave already described inconsiderable detail thatinterpretation of an event precedesthe resultant feeling. You canchoose to change your conceptionof the signal. For instance, if yourspouse makes a derogatory remarkabout you, you can either becomeangry, or you can choose totranslate the comment to mean thathe or she is angry about somethingelse that happened earlier in theday, or, maybe merely expressingpent-up hostility against you. Yourinterpretation might lead you torealize that he is really the onewho’s “got the problem” and thathe is acting out against you, becauseyou’re the only one on whom hedares to vent his frustrations.Rather than getting mad at him, youmight feel sorry for him, for theimmature way he copes with hisproblems. Thus, the emotion ofanger is expeditiously converted toone of SYMPATHY by the simpleexpedient of your changing yourconcept of the true implication ofhis remark.

Further down the road

An interpretation of the inputmust first pass through your mentalrule book before it results in anemotion. That means that there hasto be some self-talk, if only briefly,in advance of the sentiment. In theexample of your spouse’sfaultfinding remark, your self-talkmight have been as follows: “Whodoes he think he is anyway? Thatwas a completely uncalled forremark. I get so mad when he talksthat way to me.”

By using the I-Q-R technique,you might change this monologueto something like this: “I’m notgoing to play his game and get intoan argument with him. He isbehaving like a child. So, I am goingto respond to him like a parentresponds to an ill-tempered child.”

The next point of coping is whenan emotion is already present.Whenever possible, it is alwaysbetter to inter ject at an earlier linkin the chain. Nevertheless, therewill be times when you are alreadyovercome by a feeling and you haveno alternative other than to dealwith it. The best technique at thispoint is to use the relaxation andmeditation techniques. Suffice it tosay here that, in order for thesemethods to be effective, you mustpractice this skill at regularintervals when you are NOTemotionally aroused. Thesetechniques are excellent ways ofcoping with stress, but they cannotbe learned efficiently during periodsof emotional tension. They must bemastered beforehand, so that theycan be utilized for stress reduction.Once you become adept at thistechnique, you will be able to relaxalmost instantaneously and forshort periods of time. For example,when you arrive at a stoplight thathas just turned red, you can use theminute before it turns green torelax and rejuvenate instead ofanxiously gripping the steeringwheel and building up more tensionbecause you are behind schedule.Your impatient attitude is not goingto make the signal change anysooner. So, you might as well grabthe opportunity to relieve thetensions of driving. Appropriateself-talk: “Great, here is my chanceto take a brief moment and relax,so that I’ll arrive at my destinationwith a calmer state of mind, more

composed, and do the things I wantto do when I get there.” These briefrecovery interludes can workwonders for your disposition duringa hectic day.

Another coping method is a briefnap, or simply going to sleep. Forinstance, when you first come homefrom work, fatigued and exhausted,instead of heading straight for therefrigerator, take a brief snooze.The scheduled siestas in somecultures have much to recommendthem.

The final link

Suppose you find yourself in themidst of an aroused state of mind.Is it too late to do anything at thelast link of the chain of events?Certainly not. You still have thechoice of turning to food or usingan alternate activity (AA). At thesame time, AA Strategy requiressome pre-planning for itsimplementation. It is always wise tohave a back-up tactic, in case youmiss intervening during an earlierlink, or if your first line of defenseplan malfunctions. We can all learnfrom our space explorationmissions. It never hurts to have aback-up. The AA strategy is wellsuited as a back-up for many othertechniques used for weight control.

There is another specialadvantage of using the AA strategyfor emotional overeating problems.Not only will it usually remove youfrom the triggering event (e.g.,going for a walk), but it will tend todraw your attention away from theemotional state that induces you toeat. Thus, it permits your arousedfeelings to gravitate back to a moresteadfast and well-regulated level.


Page #12



Types of emotional states

Having discussed thegeneral principles ofdealing with emotionally

triggered eating, let us now describesome specific emotional states andthe pertinent aspects of the overallapproach that are most useful ingaining control over this kind ofmaladaptive eating behavior. Themost troublesome emotional statesare as follows:

1. Fatigue and depression

2. Boredom and loneliness

3. Anger and frustration

4. Anxiety

All four of these consist of twocomponents: the mmeennttaall one(thoughts, self-talk) and thebbeehhaavviioorraall one (coping activity). Themental constituent is governed byyour interpretation of the particularcircumstance and also by your beliefsystem. As we have already shown,either one of these may bedistorted (crooked). The elementthat regulates the coping responseoften leads to fruitless andunrewarding behavior that usuallycompounds the problem. Thisushers in more censuring self-talkand results in a vicious cycle ofself-renunciation, self-reproach andself-condemnation. What may havestarted out as a minor dietarytransgression terminates in a majordeviation from the food plan.

Fatigue and depression

Fatigue is probably the numberone enemy of the personattempting to control their weight.When we feel fatigued even themost firm resolution to stick with a

program is severely weakened. Eventhough you may be well versed in anumber of lifestyle changetechniques, when you suffer fromchronic fatigue, you will often lackthe energy to take the necessarysteps to remedy the situation. Thefatigued individual may knowexactly what needs to be done, butsimply lacks the necessary capacityand forcefulness to effectivelyutilize the techniques that would gether out of the rut she is in. Thefatigued feeling is self-perpetuating.The individual simply cannot bringherself to take that first step thatwould reverse her fatigue and shebecomes more weary and exhausted.It is often accompanied byinappropriate self-talk such as: “I’mtoo tired to exercise” – or – “It justtakes too much effort to keep foodrecords.” These types of self-defeating thoughts will preventrecovery. They must be recognizedas “crooked thoughts” and berectified with the techniquesdescribed in this handout. Forinstance, the best way to feel likeexercising is to ssttaarrtt ttoo eexxeerrcciissee!! It isextremely difficult to convince afatigued person that he or she mustbecome more active to feel better.

It should be quite apparent thatirrational thinking is the biggeststumbling block in this situation.This is why a thoroughunderstanding of this treatise is soimportant for improving yourchances of success. Fervor,momentum and forcefulness mustbe generated – firstin the mind! Thestrength and vitalityto carry out a weightcontrol program canonly be realized witha carefulrestructuring of yourattitudes and belief

system. Thoughts have to precedeaction!

Two peas in a pod

Fatigue is also commonlyaccompanied by depression. That iswhy we have lumped the twotogether. Depression is a feeling ofdespondency and utterhopelessness. It is oftenexperienced in reaction to a loss. Itmay be the loss of an importantopportunity or the loss of a valuedrelationship and is associated withmelancholy, pessimism andgloominess. It is a state of mindcharacterized by despair and sorrow.It has a quality of dejection thatencompasses thoughts of self-depreciation and disgust withyourself and life in general.Sometimes it is the sequel to aseries of past failures, or theconsequence of unremitting real orimagined forces against which youfeel powerless and unprotected.This sense of frustration leads toself-talk which says, in effect:“There’s no point trying, becausenothing will work.” “My countlessfailures of the past bear this out.”“I’m doomed to make the samemistakes I’ve made in the past,again and again.” That’s the mentalcomponent.

The behavioral component ofdepression is inertia and inactivity.The lack of enthusiasm (“nothinghelps, I’ve tried it all”) leads tolethargy and sluggishness which

ultimately culminatesin a feeling ofextreme fatigue. Thefatigue is derivedfrom both a mentaland physicalcomponent. It followsthat the remedy tothis malady lies in


Page #13



The best way tofeel like exercis-ing is to start to

exercise!

correcting crooked thinking andbecoming more active to overcomethe physical inertia.

Effect of lack of favorite

foods

The fooddeprivation inherentin any weightreducing attempt mayserve as the losswhich triggersdepression to somedegree. You musttherefore expand yourthinking to includethe more positiveaspects ofparticipating in a comprehensiveweight control program. Lookingforward to the achievement of trueweight control and being sofortunate as being able to share inan approach to weight control thatis available to few people is hardlydeprivation.

Additionally, who says you haveto feel like doing something beforeyou do it? There are many activitieswhich you start enjoying only afteryou engage in them. When you arein a state of inertia it becomesdoubly important that you do notwait until you feel like engaging inan activity. You could be waitingforever. What you need to do is towind yourself up like a robot andGET STARTED! Once into theactivity, the odds are greatly in yourfavor that you will soon feel muchbetter. You will be amazed how theaccomplishment of a task will dowonders for your mental attitude.That’s the secret of overcomingdepression and fatigue. Don’t wait,but start now!

Boredom and loneliness

Boredom is a blanket feeling ofweariness that may often beassociated or confused withtiredness. In obese people it is

usually the result ofnot havingdeveloped enoughnnoonn--ffoooodd iinntteerreessttss.. Ourindefatigable brainsneed to be fed withconstant stimulationin order to subsist.Living in anenvironment wheresuch stimulation islacking leads to adulling of our

perceptions and a loss of anormally lively spirit. Our mentalprocesses drift aimlessly andpurposelessly, alertness suffers, andability to concentrate on any kindof ambitious objective is impaired.Since mental needs for excitementare not met by a drab andmonotonous environment, anyinterests you might have had aredemoralized and deteriorate into ahumdrum, unimaginative existence.This lackluster state of mind mayresult in a frantic search for someexcitement; the search ends inacquiescent idleness. Resigningyourself to a lifeless and stagnantexistence engenders a quest for thepotential excitement to be found inthe taste thrills of various foods –as the only escape!

Loneliness frequently goes handin hand with boredom. It affectsmany people in our society. It willstill be there after weight loss, goalweight having been achieved. Theremay be only certain hours of theday during which you are alone.These are also the most dangeroushours for most people. A majorityof overeating is done when no oneis watching. So, it becomes doubly

important that you plan your timeso that you are always occupiedwith a wide range of absorbing andpleasant activities. Just as food candistract you from a disagreeabletask, so can a challenging andgratifying task distract you from thedesire to eat. Hobbies, arts, crafts,etc., are all suitable if they fascinateand engross you – and if thenecessary materials are at hand, sothat you can begin them at amoment’s notice. Books are fine ifyou can get preoccupied with theircontent. It is a good idea to haveseveral types of books (fordifferent moods) available, all ofwhich you have already startedreading. Sitting down to read a newbook from the beginning can bemore like work rather thanrelaxation until you becomeenraptured and captivated by thecontents. If you have already readthe first portion, it will be mucheasier to become quickly involvedwith the book’s subject matter anddivert your attention away fromfood.

Avoiding the “scene of the

crime”

Phoning a friend, or better yet,getting out of the house to visithim or her are additional strategiesto overcome boredom andloneliness. A trip to your locallibrary is an excellent way totranspose yourself to anenvironment filled with all sorts ofstimulating materials to occupy yourmind and yet one in which food iscompletely absent.

If your periods of being aloneare lengthy, volunteer work or apart-time job may be just what thedoctor ordered. All these methodswill require some carefullyorganized planning to ensure your


Page #14



making the correct choices of whatis pplleeaassaanntt aanndd eennjjooyyaabbllee for you. Fora detailed discussion of how youcan wwiiddeenn yyoouurr hhoorriizzoonnss of interests,see our handout EEnntthhuussiiaassttiicc WWeeiigghhttCCoonnttrrooll!!

Initiate change by taking

action!

Sometimes boredom andloneliness can reach suchoverwhelming proportions that theycarry you to the brink of panic.This is usually caused by crookedthinking. You may harbor theillusion that you are a mediocre orinferior person because youexperience periods of loneliness inyour life. It is well to rememberthat we all experience being alone atsome time in our lives. These timescan be used very productively formeditation and tuning in to our truefeelings. These periods can alsohave a regenerative effect, allowingus to become better prepared toresume relationships with others.

Irrational self-talk may alsocreate the infantile delusion thatyou cannot survive without others,or without a specific person’s deepaffection for you. This should becarefully examined with the I-Q-Rtechnique. Dependency on othersmay be necessary for an infant, butremember you have grown up. Asan adult, these needs may no longerbe appropriate for you.

Conversely, if you really wantmore contact with others, then youmust REACH OUT. You must takethe initiative and begin the searchfor someone who will be receptiveto the involvement you have inmind. This may take time, so bepatient.

In dealing with loneliness andboredom, just as with fatigue anddepression, you must take thenecessary steps to change theunpalatable situation. You cannotassume a passive role and donothing. Things will not changeunless you actively initiate change.That is what is meant when you aretold that in weight control youcannot remain a passive recipient,but must become an ACTIVEPARTICIPANT!

Anger and frustration

The mechanism inciting anger isthe antithesis to the one thatinstigates boredom. In the latter,one feels bored because nothinghappens. In the former, anger isaroused by something that eitherdid happen or was presumed tohave happened! An offensiveremark, maltreatment, or generallyimpertinent behavior by others canincite this powerful emotion.Crooked thinking may provoke anangry reaction due possibly to adistorted interpretation: “I havebeen misused, abused, unjustlytrampled upon.” “My rights havebeen violated, either intentionallyor neglectfully.” The wrath may beaimed directly at the provoker. Anassertive rather than an aggressiveretort is generally a healthier way torespond to the offending person. Itcan often be used to enhance yourcommunications with others.Occasionally, our animosity will bedirected against an innocentaccomplice who is presumed to beguilty by association. The worstalternative is when the anger isturned within, because it may leadto sabotaging your own weightcontrol program. The enraged wifewho stuffs herself with food toexpress hostility against anunfaithful husband (“I’ll show you

– you’ll be sorry you did that tome”), or the obese child crammingfood into his mouth to indicate hisresentment against his parents, bothillustrate this method of expressingrage by turning to food.

What you eat in private

shows in public!

Holding the anger in or directingit against yourself are immaturecoping methods which are self-destructive. When eating is used toallay your indignation, it is oftendone in private in an attempt tohide this indirect, self-defeatingcounterattack.

Anger is a normal, healthyemotion and should be voiced in atruthful expression of your feelings.If the emotion has been provokedby a distorted interpretation, thenan analysis of the irrational self-talkis in order.

Frustration is the inescapableconsequence of self-directed anger.It may also be a component ofboredom and depression. Theprimary technique of handling thisemotion is to prevent it (by dealingwith the other emotions asdescribed previously). The basicroot cause of frustration isineffective problem solving. So, ifthe feeling cannot be prevented,you need to use the problem-solving approach to take a freshlook at the series of events thatcaused the frustration. It is alsopossible to build up your toleranceto this feeling by practicingresponding to it with non-foodactivity. The more you practicealternate activities, the easier will itbecome to deal with frustration.


Page #15



Anxiety and

mental

anguish

Mentaldistress mightbe lookedupon as a coin

with two sides. One side isddeepprreessssiioonn ; the other is aannxxiieettyy . Wehave already defined depression asbeing a reaction to something thathas happened in the past –something that usually involves theloss of matter or an issue of value.Anxiety, on the other hand, is aFEAR of some unknown futurehappening. It is a tense feelingoften expressed as worry and maybe associated with a number ofpsychosomatic symptoms (bodilysymptoms as a result of mentalconflict). These symptoms caninclude such varied manifestationssuch as sweating, heart palpitations,headaches, intestinal distress – e.g.,gas, heartburn, bloating, cramps,diarrhea, skin rashes, wheezing,irregular menstrual periods, andmany more. Ordinary fear differsfrom anxiety in that it is focused ona specific threat. Anxiety, however,is a vague fear of a possible futureexperience. Since the threat is ill-defined and uncertain, you can beconfused, unsettled, and perplexed.You do not have a precise course topursue in order to allay your fears.You are aroused (emotion), yourwheels are spinning, but you havehas no concrete target at which youcan direct your action. All systemsare go, but your behavior (response)is completely ineffectual and futile.

Distressing but not

dangerous

The mental rule book tells youthat “something dreadful is going tohappen.” Your response is to find

ways to defend yourself against thisintangible danger. You attempt touse, in rapid succession, a series ofsafeguards, in the hope of wardingoff the danger. But because thehazard is so intangible your effortsare universally aborted. To makethings even worse, an individualwho may have recently experienceda painful bout with anxiety, is oftenvery nervous about the experience.That is, she will become anxiousabout her anxiety. As a result, thethreat becomes more hazy andincomprehensible, compounding heralready alarmed state of mind andmaking it almost impossible for herto deal with his emotioncomfortably and efficaciously.

This type of an emotionallycompounded state has a mostdevastating effect when it has youon the run. Therefore, you muststop running! You are mostvulnerable when you’re trying torun away from it. You must face theanxiety directly. You might use thefollowing monologue: “O.K., it’sdistressing but not dangerous.”Distressing but not dangerous!Those are the four magic words,especially when dealing with thepsychosomatic symptoms broughton by the anxiety.

The effectiveness of this simplephrase has been proved by the manythousands of members of RecoveryIncorporated. By admitting thedistress (a fact) but not the danger(a crooked thought), you removemuch of the force of the anxiety.Another effective technique isphysical relaxation (as mastered bypprraaccttiiccee); it is the gateway to mentalrelaxation.

Planning rest periods throughoutyour day, practicingmeditation/relaxation techniquesuntil you have mastered them, and

instituting a regular pattern ofsleeping habits (more importantthan actual duration of sleep) arethe best methods of stressreduction, a necessary prerequisitefor you to get in control of theemotional states that encompassanxiety.

Exonerating inferior perform-

ance

Before concluding, we would liketo discuss a series of very commonself-defeating thoughts that willlead to inevitable failure. We haveconsidered the various emotionalstates on an individual basis andhave explained how your thoughtscan bring them about. There is oneother aspect of harmful self-talkthat deserves special emphasis:rationalizing or justifyingsuboptimal performance. We feelthis subject is so important that itdeserves a separate section. Becauseweight control is hard work (no onewill deny that), at some point inalmost everyone’s weight controlprogram, there will be a tendency toboycott the responsibility ofbecoming your own therapist (asyou must, for long-term success).The discipline of the programbecomes overbearing and you wanta way to escape from theestablished rules of lifestyle change.This is a perfectly normal reactionand happens to most of us undersuch circumstances. Rather thanabandon the program entirely (withthe precognition of the guilt thatmay follow) it is easier tocircumvent your commitment byusing crooked thinking. In essence,it is a method of giving yourselfpermission to fail while at the sametime blaming it on anything butyour own unwillingness to admityour obligation of taking charge ofyour disciplinary efforts.


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The most perilous word:

“but”

This ploy may take many forms.Quite often it is directed at theperson who guides your endeavor ofreshaping your lifestyle. Crookedself-talk might go something likethis: “My situation is unique, andyour methods won’t work for me.Your program is no good.” Suchfault finding may also take theform: “This is too complicated forme. I just cannot understand why Ishould have to perform all theseexercises or develop the skills yourequest of me.” Another form ofrebellion is more subtle: “Oh, thisis all old stuff. I know all aboutthat. You’re not telling me anythingnew.” These are all passive methodsof defiance. It is well to rememberthat there is a big differencebetween knowing what needs to bedone and actually applying what hasbeen learned. These people precedealmost every statement with “Butthis…” and “but that…” When youcatch yourself using the word BUTtoo frequently, recognize it for thesabotage that it depicts. Unless youcan identify these self-defeatingthoughts, you will be using most ofthe consultation time with yourprofessional teacher by bringing upall sorts of arguments for everyhelpful suggestion he or sheattempts to make to you. This is, ofcourse, completely unproductive,and in your aroused state of mindyou really never give yourself achance to listen to or evaluate theadvice that is offered.

Ultimately, this type of anattitude leads to either one of twoconsequences. You may confirmyour distorted belief that you aredoomed to failure and are destinedto remain fat. Or, you may insistthat there is a better way (probablythe latest fad diet) and waste time

trying to convert your professionalmonitor to your way of thinking.Since HE is the professional andYOU are the amateur in the realmof weight control – he has probablyinvestigated or forgotten moremethods than you could ever tryout in your lifetime – your attemptsto reverse the roles (which one ofyou is the doctor?) is an exercise infutility.

Unfortunately, both of theseevents finally terminate in yourdropping out of the only programthat has any chance of your evergetting in control of your weightproblem.

Some more adroit ruses

Other maneuvers that attempt toreconcile inferior performanceinclude such irrational attitudes as“I had no choice,” or “I was nevertold how important it was to learnthese special skills.” You mightcomplain that there is too much tolearn, that you need a rest andyou’ll start again later (used as anexcuse for doing absolutely nothingin the meantime – not even keepingsimple food records), or that whatyou are being asked to do ischildish.

Nutty self-talk in this categoryincludes: “I have to have thesecookies in the house for mychildren, I can’t deprive THEM!” “Ijust can’t drink coffee black. I’veALWAYS eaten a Danish pastry inmidmorning.” “I’ll start nextMonday.” “This is all toopsychological.” “You should havecalled me when I missed myappointment.” “I couldn’t get myfamily to cooperate.” “I’ll do allthis later, when I’m not so busy.”Procrastination is one of the most

adverse outgrowths of crookedthinking.

The trickiest one of them all

Finally, there is a very subtlemethod of justifying inadequateachievement. In fact, it is quiteseductive in its manner, and unlessrecognized for the subterfuge that itis, will surely lead to failure. Youwill appreciate the finesse of thistactic once you comprehend itselusive and intriguing sophistry. Theirrational monologue is as follows:“I’m just so excited about thisprogram; it’s the greatest! I’mlearning so much about my lifestyle.It has assuredly contributed toother spheres of my life. I’mlearning to be more assertive withmy friends, even in nonfood relatedareas. I’m carrying out all myassignments. I know I haven’t lostany weight for the past two months,but my clothes fit so much looser. Idon’t mind not having lost anyweight because I am very impressedhow much better I understand myproblem.”

At first glance this sounds justgreat! But is it? No weight loss fortwo months? Now, we’ll admit thereare such things as plateaus. But fortwo months? That’s a bit too longfor any weight loss program. This isjust another way of surreptitiouslyshirking the responsibility you mustassume for your own weight loss.Indeed, it is a cunning andingenious guise to abandon yourcommitment. It’s crooked thinkingin its most deceptive form. Onceyou recognize the irrationality ofthis type of self-talk you will realizethat you are only fooling yourself.Not until you understand thecraftiness of this distortion will yoube able to counter such misleadingmonologues with sensible thoughts


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that will lead to the correction ofthe kind of behavior that preventedweight loss.

Learning to manage your

mental environment

In summary, let us reiterate thatemotions are a normal part ofliving. We all experience them. Yet,coping with our emotions by eatingis rarely a befitting response.Certainly, this type of eating ismaladaptive if it leads to obesity.Once you accept and adopt theconcept that thoughts andinterpretations precede feelings, andthat you can intervene anywherealong the links of the chain thatlead to inappropriate eating, youwill have grasped the fundamentalunderstanding necessary for copingwith these emotions in a new way.

You now have the opportunity topractice methods of dealing withemotional eating, just as you had tocarry out methods of managingyour environment and certainprevailing eating behaviors.Techniques of getting in control ofbehaviors and techniques ofregulating your thoughts (and theemotions which emanate fromthem) go hand in hand in acomprehensive approach of makingthe lifestyle changes necessary formeaningful long-term weightcontrol. You must examine yourmental rule book, analyze crookedthoughts, and counter them withrational beliefs and attitudes. Thisis a job that should be tackled insmall steps, just as with all theother techniques of weight control.If a task seems too difficult, breakit up into small manageable units.Work on them one at a time,beginning with the easiest ones, notprogressing to the next step untilyou’ve mastered the one before it.

Have patience. It will take a longtime to change lifelong habitpatterns. Set reasonable goals foryourself and avoid perfectionism.With the techniques we havedescribed, you have a way to affectyour thoughts, just as you haveothers to control your behavior.From here on out, it’s UP TO YOU!Reading about the methods is only abeginning. Putting them intopractice is YOUR responsibility! Wesincerely hope that you will acceptthis responsibility and get incontrol of your weight problem.When you do, it will have made ourwork of conveying this informationto you worthwhile. Our best wishesfor your success!

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© Copyright 2006Clinical Nutrition Center

© Copyright 2002, AmericanSociety of Bariatric

Physicians. Adapted frommaterials from the Lindner

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