Blue Moon Dancing Script

8/10/2019 Blue Moon Dancing Script

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2/101

THE BLUE MOON DANCING

by Ed Graczyk

Copyright: 2009, Ed Graczyk

REVISED: 1/11-2

1139 Westwood Drive

Sidney, Ohio 45365

937.493.9934Email: [email protected]


3/101

2.

CAST

CONNIE

BERNICE

NADINE

EUGENE

PEARL JEAN

HOWARD

LEONA

ROSELLE

RODNEY

JOEL

DELLA (VOICE)

The action of the play takes place in the party/game room ofthe Blue Moon Dance Hall located outside the West Texas city

of McCarthy. Population 23,8553 (2000 census).


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3.

THE SET

The Blue Moon Dance Hall was built in 1937 outside the WestTexas city of McCarthy,located 318 miles southwest of Dallas.Population: 23,853 (2000 census).

The Moon was designed to replicate the decor andarchitecture of the fancy dance palaces found in large easterncities at the time. With its alluring atmosphere and livemusic, it was a shining beacon to those seeking an escape fromthe daily doldrums of meaningless lives and lonelydesperation.

Theres a jukebox now where live bands once played and thebuildings allure is fast giving-way to decay, but the Mooncontinues to provide a haven for those seeking an escape fromthe harsh realities of the world outside. For many of itsfrequenters, the old dance hall still holds the hope of a

lingering left-over dream or two.

A private party room/game room was added in the late 1950s.This area, partitioned off from the bar and dance floor by aten foot high wall, is where the action of the play occurs. Awide arched opening in the wall reveals a section of the dancefloor and the juke box. A curtain can be pulled across theopening for privacy.

Overhead is the dance halls, once impressive, domed plasterceiling painted to represent a romantic night-time sky. Thesky is studded with small electric lights to create theimpression of stars and a moon outlined in blue neon. Most of

the stars are now burned-out along with most of the moonsneon. The painted sky is water stained and yellowed by yearsof stale cigarette smoke. Sections of the plaster have alsofallen leaving many gaping holes. A dirty, non-workingmirrored ball dangles above.

Above the wall and through the arch can be seen electric beersigns that entertain as they advertise...Swirling, spinning,gurgling and telling time: Pearl, Lone Star, Coors, Schlitz,Budweiser. All doing their best to out-do the other forattention.

There are at least four tables with mismatched chairs aroundthem, a pool table, pin ball and cigarette machines. Servingalso as a storage area, the room contains many cardboardboxes, beer cases, broken chairs and bingo paraphernalia (alocal church uses the dance hall for bingo on Monday nights).


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4.

A dozen or so 8x 10 photographs in simple black frames hangon the wall over the cigarette machine. These photos are fromthe grand opening as well as other momentous occasions thathave occurred in the place through the years. Items on the

other walls include a cue stick rack, a bulletin boardcluttered with local announcements, an emergency first aid kitand a poster for the McCarthy Community Players production ofDriving Miss Daisy.

There is a door to the rear parking area as well as doors to aladies and mens rest rooms. A pay phone is on the wall nearthem. A high, horizontal painted-over window is in one of theside walls. By standing on the empty beer case set below thewindow someone can see to the outside by peering through ascratched away peep hole in the paint. A green shaded lighthangs low over the pool table along with several idled ceilingfans overhead.


6/101

5.

ACT I

SCENE 1

[A Reba McEntire song plays. As the lights come up the song

fades into the on-stage jukebox. The back room of the BlueMoon Dance Hall is being decorated for a wedding reception.Twisted white crepe paper streamers are swagged across thetop of the partitioned walls and around the pool table thatis being set up as a buffet table. White paper bells are hungeverywhere. Connie, mid-fifties, is seated at one of thetables with a drink, reading the front page of the localnewspaper. She is taking a break from making alterations to awedding dress that is laying across a nearby chair. Nadine,thirty-five, is at the pool table getting more wedding bellsready to hang. Pearl Jean, late-twenties, is seen through thearch at the jukebox singing along with the record, using herbeer bottle as a microphone. Eugene, mid-thirties, is

involved in an intense pinball game. Bernice, early-fifties,is standing on a beer case peering through the scratched-awaypeep hole in the painted over window.]

BERNICEIt looks like were in for one helluva storm. Youd think itwas nine-thirty at night out there instead of nine-thirty inthe morning.

CONNIEWe can use the rain. Everythings dry as a bone.

BERNICE

[Drifting away from the window. Picking up a broomshes left leaning against one of the tables.]

Did you notice the Chevron across the highway raised its gasprices again? I finally got my damn car paid off, now I cantafford to drive it.

CONNIEYou cant win for losing. I just stopped trying.

BERNICEDont you think youre getting a little carried away withthose bells, Nadine?

NADINEI am?

BERNICEHoney, if those things all start to ringing at once theworlds gonna think the Pope just died.


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6.

NADINETheyre my favorite wedding decoration. Every time Ive seenthem on sale Ive bought up all theyve had.

[With a nervous laugh.]I guess Ive just forgotten how many years Ive been doing

that.

CONNIEDont pay her any mind, Nadine. It looks real nice.

[Reading. Matter-of-fact.]Numerous reports of suspicious homosexual loitering resultedin the raid Friday at the local roadside rest area. It wasnothing but a festering hive of perversion and depravity andneeded to be shut down, said Chief of Police Homer Rogers.Good God, youd think theyd busted-up some big internationaldrug smuggling ring.

BERNICE

There was no need to put their pictures all over the frontpage like that.

CONNIETheyve got their hands covering-up their faces. This one hashis jacket over his head.

[Folding the paper and putting it aside she picksup an unlit cigarette from the ashtray and takes adeep drag from it.]

The mayors up for re-election. The whole things just toodamn convenient if you ask me.

BERNICE

Did you see in there were finally going to be getting aWalmart store.

NADINEOh, how wonderful.

BERNICEIts taken them long enough to get around to us. I thinkMcCarthy, Texas is the only city in America yet to have one.

CONNIEAnd that says all that needs to be said about McCarthy, Texas.

BERNICEOh now, stop it. Youre always putting McCarthy down.

CONNIE[Picking up the wedding dress to continue heralterations.]

McCarthy was put-down years ago, Bernice. It just refuses todie.


8/101


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8.

CONNIEIts the activity of it I cant seem to kick. Im so used tohaving one around. My mind just cant let it go for somereason. Hold on...

[Pointing.]

...theres some you missed.

BERNICEWhere?

CONNIEThere under that chair. One of these days that whole damnceilings going to come crashing down and kill us all.

NADINE[Going up the ladder with several of the bells.]

A big piece fell out on the dance floor last week and justabout hit Yvonne Baker on the head.

CONNIEI doubt she wouldve felt a thing. That womans got hairbigger than most area codes.

EUGENEDamn-it-all-to-hell, Pearl Jean! I put a quarter in thatjukebox to hear Reba sing that song, not you!

PEARL JEANWell, she is singin the song! All Im doin is helpin herout with it.

EUGENEShe can do it fine by herself, she dont need no damn helpfrom you!

PEARL JEANYou sayin I cant sing it as good as she can?

EUGENEWhat Im sayin is, your singin is drownin out my goddamnquarter!

DELLA

[Into the microphone.]Testing. Testing, one, two, three.

PEARL JEAN[Overlapping Della. Turning her butt to him andraising a corner of her skirt to show her panties.]

Why dont you come on over here an kiss my Tammy Wynette,Eugene!


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9.

EUGENEThats Reverend Eugene!

PEARL JEAN

Youre no Reverend.

EUGENEDamned if I aint! Ive got a card here in my wallet from theProgressive Universal Church of Life that says youre a liar.

PEARL JEANYoure just some dumb car mechanic. You dont know nothinabout preachin!

EUGENEJesus Christ was just a carpenter and he did it!

PEARL JEANWell, at least he could build stuff like chairs and coffeetables. You cant do nothin but fix cars.

EUGENE[On his way to the mens room.]

Oh yeah? I built me a Harley motorcycle from scratch. Betchahe couldnt do that!

DELLASorry about that, folks. Pearl Jean, honey, reach on back ofthe jukebox an turn it off for me, would ya?

PEARL JEANCant you wait til the songs over? Me an Reba are justgettin to the best part.

EUGENEWith you singin along to it, Pearl Jean, the best part iswhen its over.

DELLAAlright you two, thats enough of that squabbling.

PEARL JEAN

[Overlapping Della.]One of these days its gonna be me singin out of this-herejukebox and youre gonna be sorry as hell you didnt give me alisten-to when you had the chance.

EUGENE[Exiting into the mens room.]

By the time that day comes aroun I wont have to listencause Ill be long dead!


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10.

PEARL JEAN[Raising her butt at him.]

Pucker up, Preacher!

BERNICE

Tell me you dont have Tammy Wynette tattooed there on yourbutt.

PEARL JEANOn this side. Ive got Reba on the other.

BERNICEWell, youve got yourself a real country music ass-of-famegoin on there, dontcha?

DELLA[Overlapping dontcha.]

Okay, as I was starting to say before this fool thing went

temperamental on me: Welcome yall to the Blue Moon DanceHall. Over here behind the bar: Im Della DuPree, owner of theplace and first runner-up in the Miss Tammy Faye Bakkermemorial look-alike contest. Thats why God created make-upladies: to fill in all those ruts an tire tracks the wheelsof life have left behind. Praise the Lord and Mary Kay!Speaking of which, Ive still got a bunch of orders back ofthe bar here that need to be picked up. You know who you are.

CONNIE[Overlapping You know...]

Is there supposed to be a veil with this dress, Nadine?

NADINENo. The lady at the thrift shop thinks the bride must havekept it for a souvenir. Ive got one coming though.

DELLA[Overlapping Ive got one...]

For you first-timers (and I can see weve got quite a few ofyou out there today), I just need a couple minutes here. Youregulars are just going to have to bear with me. Weve gotthese daytime get-togethers Monday through to Friday, nine tilthree. It gets you ladies home before the kids get in fromschool an time to get something tossed in the microwave for

supper. You fellas out there dont have them kind of worries,so what the hell do you care? Right?

[Bernice unlocks the back door to take out a bag oftrash.]


12/101

11.

CONNIE[Holding up a magazine shes just found whilerummaging through her tote bag. Announcing her findto no one in particular.]

The new Dallas magazine came in the mail on Saturday.

DELLAIve got to make things official, so heres the rules: Ladiessitting by themselves get their beers for free. One of yougentlemen moves in for a dance or a little politeconversation itll cost you: a buck for draft, two bucks forbottles; mix drinks not included. Sometimes its hell to be aman, aint it?

[She enjoys a laugh.]Any of you decide you want to dance a two-step across thehighway to the Dixie 6 Motel, thats your business. You tellthem youre from the Moon an theyll give you a twentypercent discount. Were open weekday nights, too: six til

legal closing. Monday theres bingo co-sponsored with Our Ladyof Guadelupe Church. Bars closed that night. Stop on in,though, its a great time for a good cause.

BERNICE[Returning and locking the door. Overlapping fromStop on in.]

Its started to rain and the winds really picking up.

DELLAWeve also got a room that can be used for get-togethers likereunions, anniversaries, birthday parties and such. Its rightthere through that archway; back with the pool table an pin

ball if you want to check it out.

BERNICE[Loudly.]

Dont forget to tell them about the wedding!

DELLAWhats that, Bernice?

BERNICE[Louder. At the arch.]

The wedding! Remind them about the wedding!

DELLAI was just coming to that. A couple of our regulars: Nadinean Rodney, are getting themselves married today. Right outhere on the dance floor where they first met each other. Anyou thought there was no romance left in the world.


13/101

12.

NADINE[On the ladder. Shouting over the top of thepartition wall.]

Therell be a reception set up afterwards back here on thepool table. Everybodys welcome!

DELLAI assume you all heard that. Dont forget to spread some trashbags over the top of that pool table, Nadine, so the feltdont get stuff spilled on it.

CONNIE[Going to the arch. Overlapping stuff spilled.]

And theres still some tickets left for Driving Miss Daisythis coming weekend. Just look me up and Ill be glad to takeyour reservation. I want to thank all of you who went in onthe opening night flowers, too. That was very thoughtful.

NADINE[Loudly over the partition.]

Connies just wonderful as Miss Daisy. I think its one of thebest parts shes played so far.

DELLAI agree with you wholeheartedly, Nadine. Remember its yourcommunity theater, so give it your support. Stuff your pocketswith Kleenex cause youll need them. I cried like a baby.

BERNICEBetter bring a lawn chair cushion with you, too. Those woodenchairs theyve got are murder on your backside.

CONNIE[To Bernice as she returns to her table.]

Its the Civic Auditorium, Bernice, we have no control overthe seating.

DELLAAnd dont forget, starting today through to Thursday (holdonto your seats, ladies), direct from Scottys Tavern inClovis, New Mexico, Elvis himself will be here to sing all hisgreatest hits, live-and-in-person. Spread the word. Okay,Pearl Jean, you can turn that jukebox back on now.

BERNICEI sure hope this Elvis is better than the one the AmericanLegion brought in a couple months back. He looked about asmuch like Elvis as I do.

NADINECould you give me a hand with this ladder, Bernice?


14/101

13.

BERNICE[Helping with the ladder.]

Wheres Rodney? Shouldnt he be here helping you with all thisbell hanging and stuff?

NADINEHe had to rent a tuxedo and pick up a wedding cake. He saidhed be here about ten. Im real surprised there wasnt awrite-up of Driving Miss Daisy in this mornings paper,Connie. I thought for sure there would be.

CONNIESo did I. I dont know what happened.

NADINETheyll just have to give it a five star rating.

CONNIE

You never know, Nadine.

BERNICEOh, cmon. That newspaper gives five stars to just about everyplay youre in. According to them youre right up therewith...Who? Whos that actress they said you reminded them of?

CONNIEMeryl Streep. Constance Weidner is without a doubt the MerylStreep of West Texas theatre.

BERNICEI dont see the resemblance, myself.

CONNIEThey werent saying I looked like her, Bernice. They weremaking a comparison to the chameleon-like ability she has oftotally transforming herself into whatever character sheportrays.

BERNICEThey were?

CONNIEIm sure thats what they meant. In all the articles about her

thats mainly what they talk about.

BERNICEWell, for whatever its worth, I thought you were every bit asgood as that woman in the movie. I cant say the same forMiquel Fernandez, though. I dont think he did a very good jobof convincing anyone he was a black chauffeur.


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14.

CONNIE[Defensive. The cell phone in her purse rings.]

Its not like the casting committee didnt search high and lowto find a black man to play the part.

[Rummaging through her purse for the phone.]

Nearly half the population of this city is Mexican. Sometimesyouve just got to make due with what youve got. This isntDallas you know.

BERNICE[To herself.]

So you keep reminding us.

CONNIE[Into the phone.]

What do you want, Charlie? I told you someone was coming by tolook at it. Its not a problem with the TV its...Look, Imnot going to argue with you...Well, then turn it off and stare

at the damn wall, see if I care.[She flips the phone lid shut.]

I dont know what I did to piss God off but hes havingCharlie do a helluva good job of paying me back for it.

BERNICEWhats he gone and done now?

CONNIEHis medical alert bracelet was acting up so he decided to fixit himself. Now whenever he pushes the button, the channelsstart flipping on the TV.

[Searching her purse for a pill bottle.]

Its coming on eight years now since that doctor gave him justsix months to live. I should sue the idiot for malpractice.

BERNICEHas it been eight years already?!

CONNIEI kick myself every day for not divorcing the son-of-a-bitchwhen he was carrying on with that cashier from the PigglyWiggly. Hed be her cross to bear today instead of mine andId be long gone from here.

[Taking a pill and washing it down with a swig of

her drink.]

BERNICEOne foot in the grave or not, I wouldve booted his sorry assright out the front door.

CONNIEWho thought til death do you part would take so damn long.


16/101

15.

NADINETheres a place for you in heaven, Connie.

CONNIEI appreciate the sentiment, Nadine, but Id much rather have a

condominium in the Highland Park area of Dallas.[Referring to an ad in the Dallas magazine.]Look at this place. My God, couldnt you just die to livethere.

BERNICESave that for me when youre done with it, would ya? I likebrowsing the advertisements.

CONNIEYou really need to get yourself to Dallas and see it firsthand.

BERNICESorry, browsing Dallas is all I can afford.

CONNIEIf I didnt get to Dallas at least once a year, I swear Idlose my mind. Or whats left of it. Trust me, one trip willchange your life.

BERNICEWhen I start to lose my mind, I just change my hair color.

EUGENE[Coming out of the mens room wiping his hands with

toilet paper.]The paper towels things empty in there.

NADINEDo you have anything other than those work clothes to wear forthe ceremony, Eugene?

EUGENEMy suit jacket is out in the truck...

[Pulling a clip-on necktie from out of his backpocket.]

...an Ive got a necktie here. Just got to clip it on.

[He goes to the pinball for his beer bottle.Bernice gets a package of paper towels from a boxagainst the wall and takes it into the mens room.]

CONNIEWhat did you say the name of this church was youre associatedwith?


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EUGENEThe Progressive Universal Church of Life. I came across themon the internet. All I had to do was send them in nineteendollars and fifty cents, they sent me back my officialministerial license and I was in business.

[Handing her his business card.]Heres one of my cards case you might be needin any of myservices.

CONNIE[Reading the card.]

Reverend Eugene Pitney...Weddings, funerals, baptisms andcollision repair. Looks like youve got it all covered. Whatabout divorces, or does that fall under collision repair?

EUGENEI cant do divorces.

[Emptying the beer bottle.]

BERNICEThats too bad, you could set a up booth out there by the barand make out like a bandit.

CONNIEIts kind of hard taking a Reverend serious that advertisessacraments for sale on the side of a tow truck.

EUGENE[AS he exits into the other room for another beer.]

Im gonna be getting a billboard out by the highway real soon.Keep your eye out for it.

BERNICEI know this is none of my business, Nadine, but are you sureyou want the Reverend Mr. Goodwrench there presiding over yourwedding nuptials?

NADINEEugene is the only one who could do it on such short notice.

BERNICEWhy dont you hold-off a couple weeks and well help you puttogether a proper...

NADINE[Almost manic in her response.]

I dont want to wait, Bernice![Quickly gathering her composure.]

Im sorry, Bernice. Ive already been waiting my whole life, Idont want to wait any more.


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17.

BERNICEOkay, okay. Suit yourself. If you want your weddingcertificate to include a free oil change, thats yourbusiness.

[Off-handed.]

I just hope you know what youre doing.

NADINE[A nervous laugh.]

Well, of course I know what Im doing, Bernice. Good heavens!Rodney loves me.

BERNICEDo you know that for sure or is that just what he told you?

NADINEBernice! I dont have a reason not to believe him.

BERNICEYou said the same thing about that traveling tilt-a-whirloperator from the VFW carnival. He went off and left youbehind with a broken heart and an empty pocketbook.

NADINERodneys different.

CONNIEI dont mean to gang up on you here, Nadine, but thats whatyou said about the Congoleum salesman who came in here regularlast spring. One day he stopped showing up and you got stuckwith enough Congoleum to lay a good-sized kitchen floor three

times over.

NADINEI didnt get stuck with that Congoleum, Connie. He said it wasbeing discontinued and its the very same pattern as the floorof the kitchen in my dream book.

[Getting the scrapbook.]If I didnt buy it right then and there, where would I be?

CONNIEThat Congoleum pattern isnt the only one in the universe.

NADINEIve had my heart set on this floor ever since I first saw itin the Better Homes and Garden magazine.

[Opening the scrapbook.]See how perfect it goes with those cabinets and thatwallpaper?


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BERNICEI had one of these dream books once. You can see what good itdid me. Youve sure got a heckuva lot of filled-up pages inhere. How long have you been keeping this?

NADINEIve been clipping dreams out of magazines and pasting them inhere ever since I was old enough to be trusted with scissors.

BERNICEWhats with this picture of a Gerber baby?

NADINE[Smiling.]

Isnt he just beautiful? Theres a picture of a little girlsomeplace toward the...Here she is. And here they aregraduating from college in this advertisement for Palmolivesoap. Dont they look proud holding their diplomas? You just

know theyre going to have successful lives. This is all of usat DisneyWorld. Arent we a happy looking family?

CONNIEHave you shown this to Rodney yet?

NADINEWell, of course I have. These pages at the end are full of thedreams weve pasted in together. The picture of that redsports car is his. I dont know how well ever be able toafford it but he says we will.

CONNIE

This is all just so sudden, Nadine.

NADINE[A quizzical laugh.]

Sudden? Weve been talking and dreaming about it for over sixmonths now. On Friday when we filled up the last empty page hesaid: I guess theres nothing left for us to do now but getmarried. Isnt that the sweetest proposal youve ever heard?

PEARL JEAN[Entering with a Red Chief notebook. Overlappingfrom ...sweetest proposal.]

Connie, can you think up any words that rhyme withfrigerator?

CONNIEFrigerator?!


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19.

PEARL JEAN[Reading from the tablet.]

In this new song Im writing, it goes:[Singing.]

Ive put my heart in the frigerator.

CONNIEWhat on earth for?

PEARL JEANCause my man has gone off to fight in the war.

CONNIEOh. Well, lets see. How about something like...Howsthis...Keeping it on ice til you come home to me later.

PEARL JEAN[She sings the line.]

Oh, I like that. Thanks.

BERNICEYou must have quite a collection of songs put down in thatnotebook of yours by now.

PEARL JEANClose to about a hundred, Imagine.

NADINEYou should try and sell some of them, Pearl Jean.

PEARL JEAN

Sell them?! Shoot, as soon as I get me my bus Ill be needinthem for myself.

BERNICEBus?! What are you wanting a bus for?

PEARL JEANWell hell, you cant even begin to call yourself a countrysinger without a bus with your name painted up on the side,Bernice. Without a bus, youre nobody. Did you ever see theone that Tammy used to drive?

BERNICENo, I cant say I ever did.

PEARL JEANWell, it was really awesome. This big ol silver bus withFirst Lady in fancy swirly letters across the side. Woo-wee!Im tellin you, when youve got a bus with your name paintedup on the side of it, youre really someone special. Peoplesit right up an take notice. They stop dead right there intheir tracks an listen to whatever you have to sing.


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20.

BERNICE[To no one in particular.]

God, if life was only that simple.

PEARL JEAN

It is Bernice, if youve got yourself a bus.[Howard enters from the other room. He is in hismid-fifties wearing an inexpensive suit, his tiepulled loose at his neck.]

Yesiree, once I get my bus the last thing this town is gonnabe seein of me as I head on down that highway out there is...

[Lifting the back of her skirt and shaking herbutt.]

...Tammy and Reba wavin at em out the back window.

HOWARDExcuse me. Maybe you could help me out. Im looking for mywife. Shes gone missing and...

[Taking out his wallet. To Bernice.]Her names Diane. Diane Morgan.

BERNICESorry. The name doesnt ring a bell to me. But then mostpeople who come in here rarely give-out their real names.Connie?

CONNIE[Preoccupied.]

No, I dont know anyone named Diane.

HOWARD

[Handing Connie his opened wallet.]Heres her picture.

CONNIEAre you sure this is your wife?

HOWARDWhat do you mean?

CONNIEShe looks more like the picture that came with the wallet.Some movie star or...

NADINE[Looking over Connies shoulder.]

Ive seen her before!

HOWARDHow long ago?

NADINEIt was last week. She was in some movie on TV.


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21.

HOWARDKim Novak.

CONNIEYes! Kim Novak! Thats exactly who she looks like.

HOWARDPeople used to tell her that all the time.

CONNIEI can see why. Its really uncanny.

HOWARDWell, she spent a lot of time helping that uncanninessalong.

CONNIEGod, I really loved her in the movie of Picnic. I did the

play a couple years back. I was Rosemary, the old-maid schoolteacher. I dont mean to brag but it won me a trophy at theTexas Community Theater Competition, too. My third.

HOWARD[Making a connection.]

So, the red Mercury must be yours, then.

CONNIEWhat?

HOWARDOut in the parking lot. The one with the license plate that

says: Actress.

CONNIEOh. Yes. Until I get my name up in lights, itll have to do.

NADINEConnies the star of our community theater.

PEARL JEANOne day shes gonna be a famous actress in Dallas and wellall be able to say we knew her when she was nobody.

[She returns to her spot near the jukebox.]

HOWARDDallas? Really?

CONNIEPeople have been telling me for years thats what I need todo. For Gods sake, Connie, get on out of this no placetown; move to Dallas where your talent belongs.


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22.

HOWARDThen you should.

CONNIEWell, I...Actually my mind has been living in Dallas for quite

some time now. Im just having some difficulty getting therest of me to join up with it.

BERNICEAt the rate youre getting to Dallas youll be packed away ina crate long before your dishes and glassware.

CONNIE[With a forced smile.]

You are well aware of my current situation, Bernice.[Back to Howard.]

Havent you got a more recent picture? No offense but this onehas to be over thirty years old.

[Returning the wallet to him.]

HOWARDShe wont let anyone take her picture anymore. Shes put on alot of weight and real self-conscious about it. If you comenear her with a camera she covers her face or runs offsomeplace.

BERNICEHow longs she been missing?

HOWARDI cant be sure. I was away on a business trip and when I got

back she was gone. Its like shed just vanished into thinair. The beds werent made, the dishes were stacked in the...

BERNICEWhat makes you think shes been in here?

HOWARDSomeone said I should check. Well, thanks anyhow. If youremember anything, Im going to stick around for awhile. Youknow, in case.

BERNICE

I dont want to be discouraging but theres kind of anunwritten rule in here about respecting each others privacy.

HOWARD[With a knowing grin.]

I kind of figured that.[He exits into the other room.]


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23.

CONNIE[Obviously irritated.]

I didnt appreciate that snide remark of yours back there,Bernice.

BERNICEI know. Im sorry. Sometimes my mouth has a mind of its own.Its your life and none of my business.

CONNIE[Searching her purse for a pill bottle.]

No, this is not my life, Bernice. I refuse to accept this asmy life. What I have here...what I am enduring here...is atemporary; a makeshift, existence. My life; the life I ammeant for, is three hundred and eighteen miles down thathighway out there.

NADINE

Youll get to Dallas one day, Connie. I just know you will.

CONNIEThank you, Nadine. I appreciate your support.

[Handing her the wedding dress.]Here, you can go try this on now.

DELLA[On the PA. Overlapping Here...]

Bernice?! Where the heck are you? I need you out front hereand bring a case of Lone Star with you.

BERNICE

[Shouting out.]Ill be right there.

NADINEI wish mama was still alive to be here today. She always saidtheyd be singing Christmas carols in hell before I ever gotmarried.

CONNIENo!

NADINE

She didnt mean it. Mama was crippled-up real bad withrheumatoid arthritis and pretty sour toward the whole worldabout it. She had to take the pain out on somebody.

[A forced smile.]I was just the lucky one who always seemed to be handy.

CONNIE[Toasting with her drink.]

Well, Jingle Bells to you, Nadine.


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24.

NADINE[Exiting into the ladies room with the dress.]

Thank you, Connie.

CONNIE

God, I hope she knows what shes doing.[Taking the pill and washing it down with herdrink.]

BERNICE[Picking up a beer case.]

I just hope he shows up.

CONNIE[Pulling at the front of her dress.]

I thought Della said she was going to do something about theair conditioning.

BERNICEI guess the things so old theyre having trouble rounding-upparts to fix it.

LEONA[Outside, pounding on the back door. Overlappingparts.]

Hello?! Hello?! Is somebody in there?!

BERNICEWho the hells that?

LEONA

Can someone in there hear me?!

BERNICE[Going to the door, carrying the beer case.]

Leona? Is that you?

LEONANo, its Mother Teresa! Let me in!

BERNICEWhat are you doing there at the back door? Go on around to thefront.

LEONAI cant let anyone see me like this.

BERNICESee you like what? Whats the matter?

LEONAJust unlock the door dammit. We can play twenty questionslater. Hurry on up now, its raining out here for crissake!


26/101


27/101

26.

LEONARaided it?! What the hell for?

CONNIEThey say it was a festering hive of homosexual perversion and

depravity so they shut it down.

LEONAYoud think with all the crime in this damn city the policewould have higher priorities than raiding toilets. Where am Isupposed to change into myself now?

CONNIEI guess youll have to do it at home.

LEONAI live in Wellington Heights. My neighbors would just love tostart gossiping about the strange woman coming and going from

my house.

CONNIEOh, Im sure they do that already, Leona.

LEONAGo to hell.

CONNIE[Waving her hand across her face.]

Whew! Do you think youve got on enough perfume?

LEONA

My bottle of Elizabeth Taylors Passion leaked all over mymakeup case. I dont know where the hell she came up with thatname. Lysols got about as much passion in it as this stuff.

CONNIEI think its supposed to inspire passion, not guarantee it.

LEONAWell, I say you dont go putting something on a label that youcant deliver.

[Noticing the decorations.]Whats going on with all the decorations? Its a little early

for Halloween, isnt it?

CONNIENadines getting married today.

LEONAMarried?! Youre kidding! Whos she marrying? Anybody I know?

CONNIERodney.


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27.

LEONARodney?!

[Dismissing him.]Shes making a big mistake.

CONNIEWhys that?

LEONAIts just a feeling I got when I danced with him. Let me re-phrase that. Its a feeling I didnt get when I danced withhim.

CONNIENot all men get sexually aroused dancing with you, Leona. Youcan be a little intimidating.

LEONA

Intimidating?! Im a sensual woman. I cant help it.

CONNIEEvery dance isnt a mating dance.

LEONAIf its not, its not my kind of music. Well, with her luck sofar, Ill bet a dollar hes a no show.

CONNIETheyve been dancing together for going on six months now.

LEONA

Daytime dancing. Men out looking to get themselves marrieddont dance in the daytime.

[Rushing to the curtain.]So, is he here yet?

CONNIEWho?

LEONAElvis.

CONNIE

I dont think so. Whats all that stuff youve got there?

LEONAHuh? Oh.

[Holding up the Neimans bag.]My parts.

CONNIEYour parts?!


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28.

LEONAMy miracle bra, my butt booster panties...

CONNIEButt booster panties?

LEONAHoney, when my train left the station it left without thecaboose. Im flat as a damn pancake back there. It needs allthe help modern science can give it.

[Holding up the Crate and Barrel bag filled withpaper back books.]

Oh, and Ive got a bag of romance books here Im done with andpassing on. God, Im reading one now thats so steamy itspractically curling the paper off the bedroom walls. Why thehell couldnt I have been born the daughter of a richlandowner in Scotland with a huge castle and a muscular stableboy?

CONNIEThey have their troubles, too.

LEONAYah, but their troubles are all so damned romantic. Mine arejust troubles.

NADINE[Coming out of the ladies room wearing the weddingdress.]

Well, how does it look?

CONNIEYou look beautiful, Nadine!

NADINEIm not sure Id go as far as beautiful but I sure do feelpretty. I dont seem to fill out the front very well though.

LEONA[Slipping past them into the ladies room andlocking the door.]

Ive got an old blow-up bra out there in the trunk of the BMWif you want to borrow it. The left cup has a slow leak and you

need to pump it up every so often but other than that it fillsyou out just fine.

NADINEWhat happened to Leona?

CONNIELife threw her an unexpected curve this morning. Shell befine once she puts herself together.


30/101


31/101

30.

ROSELLEWas there a write-up of your play in this mornings paper? Ididnt have a chance to check.

CONNIE

[Taking the veil back to her table to repair thetear.]No. I looked through it twice. I guess it wont be in untiltomorrow.

ROSELLEWell, you know theyll say good things. You were wonderful asusual. I only wish I could say the same about the seating inthe Civic Auditorium. Theres an epidemic of hemorrhoids outthere brought on by years of supporting the cultural arts inthis city.

[Taking in the decorations.]My-oh-my, just look at how youve got the place all gussied

up, Nadine. Are you excited?

NADINEIm real nervous.

ROSELLEWell honey, thats to be expected.

[Removing a camera from her tote.]I brought my camera. Im sure theres going to be many Kodakmoments needing to be captured here today.

NADINEYou remembered to invite Leonard for me, didnt you, Roselle?

ROSELLEOh, hell be here. He wouldnt miss it for the world.

LEONA[Opening the door slightly. Overlapping fromcaptured.]

Roselle, hand me my head over there would you?

ROSELLEI was wondering where the rest of you went to. I hate to bethe one to tell you this but the poor things starting to look

a little the worse for wear.

LEONAThis wigs been teased so much I think its developing acomplex. If I threaten it with one more can of hair spray itsgoing to need therapy.

[Taking the wig and closing the door.]


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31.

CONNIESomebody said they saw you coming out of Farleys Funeral Homethe other day. Who died? Anybody I know?

ROSELLE

[Settling into a table she has staked out as hers.]I heard on the radio that they were having a sale on pre-arranged funerals so I thought Id stop in and take advantageof it.

CONNIEMy sister has one of those. Shes got the whole thing plannedright down to whos bringing what casserole dish to thegrieving party afterwards.

NADINEIts so depressing, Roselle. I dont even want to think aboutyou dying.

ROSELLEI appreciate that Nadine but Ive got my kidneys on lifesupport; the doctor calls my heart Houston its got so manybypasses. Diabetes. Bursitis. Psoriasis.

[Slipping off her shoes.]And Dr.Scholl just throws his hands up at my feet. I need tobe getting my ducks all in a row while I can. Besides I nevercould resist a good sale.

[To Connie. Putting on a pair of slippers from herbag.]

Let me ask you. They say I need to decide if I want to be putunderground or cremated. I wouldnt suppose once youre dead

it really makes much of a difference, do you?

CONNIEI wouldnt think so.

ROSELLEMe either. Im going to tell them to just surprise me.

[Pearl Jean enters singing along with the songplaying on the juke box.]

Pearl Jean! Oh my God, Pearl Jean! Ive got great news! Idrove by the Grace Methodist Church and they have an old bussitting out front with a For Sale sign on it.

PEARL JEANYoure not bull-shittin me are you, Roselle?


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32.

ROSELLEI wouldnt think of doing such a thing. It doesnt look to bein the best of shape but...Here, I wrote down the phone numberfor you.

[To Connie as she rummages in her purse.]

Youre going to love the new message the church has outside ontheir billboard: Be an organ donor, give your heart toJesus. Here you go.

[Handing Pearl Jean the phone number.]Im thinking I just might put up a billboard like it in myfront yard: After youve given your heart to Jesus, give akidney to Roselle. I mean if the Methodists can solicitinternal organs on their front yard I dont know why the heckI cant too.

PEARL JEANIs this a seven or a nine?

ROSELLEThats a nine. I was trying to write and drive at the sametime much to the aggravation of the man in the car behind me.He finally sped around and gave me one of these.

[She holds up her middle finger.]

CONNIEYoure kidding!

ROSELLEOh, I get lots of those with my driving. For the longest timeI thought it meant have a nice day. Id just do it back andgive them a big smile. It took a highway patrolman to explain

it to me. I think a ticket was unnecessary. I only meant to befriendly for heavens sake.

[Pearl Jean gets money from her purse and goes tothe pay phone.]

LEONA[Coming out of the ladies room. The transformationis remarkable. Along with the wig, she is wearingspandex pants, dangerously high heels and a tee-shirt with a picture of Elvis and Elvis is Aliveprinted under it.]

Its all yours, Nadine.

CONNIEThat was fast.

LEONAWhen youre used to getting naked in a roadside toilet youlearn to dress quickly.


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33.

ROSELLE[Fanning her hand under her nose.]

Whew! Bernice has gone a little heavy with the disinfectanttoday, hasnt she?

LEONAThats Elizabeth Taylors Passion, you damn fool.[She drags a table closer to the brightly litcigarette machine, opens her make-up case and doesher face. Nadine exits into the ladies room.]

ROSELLEIts no wonder she cant keep herself a husband.

[Bernice enters with an empty beer case.]

LEONA[Modeling.]

Aint this shirt a kick-in-the-head? I forgot I still had it.

CONNIEIm shocked you ever had it.

BERNICE[Peering at her.]

Whats the writing on there say?

LEONA[Stretching out the front of her shirt.]

Elvis is alive.

ROSELLEOh, dear Lord.

LEONAIve been an Elvis fanatic ever since I was twelve.

CONNIEWell, theres a side of you I never knew was there.

LEONAIve got lots of sides you dont know about. After he died, Iwent into serious mourning for two solid weeks. For the next

twenty years I made an annual pilgrimage to Graceland on theanniversary of his death to light a candle and cry with themultitudes. Ill tell you; one things always had me puzzled.

CONNIEWhats that?


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34.

LEONAWhat the hell do you suppose was going on in Gods head whenhe decided to take Elvis instead of Pat Boone? I mean PatBoone hadnt had a hit record since April Love. Who the hellwouldve missed him?

BERNICEGod works in mysterious ways, Leona. And so does your mind.

LEONAEat shit and die, Bernice. For the longest time I just refusedto believe he was gone. I went out and bought this shirt andheld out hope.

CONNIEI think its safe to say that Elvis is dead.

LEONA

Oh for Gods sake, I know that hes dead. What kind of aderanged fool do you think I am? And dont anybody dare answerthat question! Im just keeping an open mind about it, thatsall. Stranger things have happened. Im not going to be the-cheese-stands-alone when he shows up on Oprah one day.

[Tugging on her wig.]Does this thing look like its sitting right to you? It feels alittle cockeyed.

ROSELLEGive it a tug to the left.

LEONA

Goddamn Japanese! I dont know why the hell they dont stickto making TVs and motorcycles and leave wig making to anothercountry that knows something about hair.

ROSELLEI remember having a terrible crush on Randolph Scott when Iwas a girl. I think I saw every one of his movies. I wrote himfan letters and he sent me an autographed picture.

CONNIEIt turned out he was gay you know.

ROSELLENo, I didnt. But then, our relationship never went that far.

BERNICEI read someplace that Cary Grant was gay, too.


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35.

LEONANot with me he wasnt.

[Responding to their quick glances.]What?! Oh, come on, dont tell me in the privacy of a darkbedroom youve never let your imagination run wild...You and

some movie star in the throws of mad passionate love.

CONNIEI think youve been reading too many of those romance books.

LEONANo, Ive just spent too many years in the same boring bed withWalter. Hell, its been years since theres been any passionin my life that didnt require the use of batteries or anelectric outlet.

CONNIEElectric outlet?!

LEONAYou dont want to know. I swear, if divorce wasnt a mortalsin, Idve got rid of the idiot years ago.

BERNICEReligion never stopped me.

LEONAWell, Im not spending eternal damnation in hell. No mansworth suffering through all that heat.

CONNIE

Youre already in hell. Whats the difference?

LEONAThis ones got air conditioning.

[Fanning herself.]Well, it used to anyhow.

NADINE[Coming out of the ladies room.]

Im leaving the dress in there on a hanger so everybody becareful of it, okay?

LEONASo, youre really going through with this are you?

NADINEYes I am, Leona.

LEONAWell, prepare yourself cause it doesnt take very long to getfrom I do to Good God; what the hell was I thinking?


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36.

NADINE[Ignoring her she heads for the other room.]

Im going out front and wait for Rodney. I hope he doesntforget the napkins.

LEONA[After she exits.]Shed better hope to hell he doesnt forget the address. Didwe all chip in and get her a gift?

ROSELLEA microwave.

LEONAPut me down for something. Not more than five dollars though.

ROSELLEI already did. You owe me ten.

LEONATen?!

ROSELLEThe same as everybody else gave.

[Plopping a card down in front of her.]Here. Sign the card.

PEARL JEAN[Hanging up the phone. Overlapping from Sign thecard.]

They said theyd call me back. The person in charge of selling

the bus wont be in until eleven. Did you hear, Bernice;Roselle found me a bus.

[As she exits to the other room.]Aint that somethin?!

LEONABus?! What the hell is she going to do with a bus?

ROSELLEShes going to paint her name on the side and become a famouscountry singer.

LEONAWell, thats got to be the nuttiest thing Ive ever heard of.The only place a bus is going to take her is straight to thefront door of the damn funny farm.

ROSELLEOh, for goodness sake, Leona...


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37.

LEONAIm serious! She hasnt got the foggiest clue, for crissake!Theres a real world out there just lying in wait for peoplelike her. Shes going to come driving down the highway withthose blinders on and get side-swiped, rear-ended or run off

the road and end-up in lifes emergency room with nothing lessthan compound fractures.[A gesture toward the other room.]

And that one with the wedding dress. Hell, shes got massivetrauma written all over her.

BERNICEI swear to God, Leona, youve got all the sensitivity oflinoleum.

LEONAIve been to that emergency room more times than I havefingers to count on. I know what Im talking about here. Hell,

Im on a first name basis with the goddamn ambulance driver.[Giving up on the argument.]

I dont give a crap what they do. But Im warning you rightnow, dont come around asking me to sign any get-well cards orchip-in for funeral flowers.

DELLA[Over the PA.]

Okay, folks, hes here. Elvis has entered the building!

LEONAOh, my God!

[Posing.]

Okay, how do I look?

CONNIEYou need to give your boosters a tug to the right.

LEONADo what?

CONNIEYour ass is lopsided.

LEONA

Oh. [Giving her pants a good yank.]Thanks.

[Grabbing her purse she exits toward the other roomas the lights fade.]


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38.

SCENE 2

[In the darkness. The microphone squeals.]

DELLA

[Off mike.]Damn this fool...[Directly into it.]

Hello, hello...Sorry, folks. I apologize for the delay herebut Elvis is having trouble getting his karaoke thing toworking. Ive been doing some calling around to find someonewhos got another one we can borrow but no luck so far. Yalljust bear with us here, okay?

[The sound of a thunder roll.]Oh, and the radio says its getting pretty nasty out thereweather-wise, so you might as well just stay put til the stormpasses over.

[As the lights come up, a country song by somepopular female artist is playing on the jukebox.The pool/buffet table is now crowded with covereddishes, bags of snacks, paper plates, etc. Thereare also wrapped wedding gifts. The ladder has beenstored out of the way. Pearl Jean is at a tablesinging along with the jukebox. Nadine is at thepay phone. Roselle is at the arch dancing byherself.]

PEARL JEAN[After several moments. To Howard who is havingtrouble with the coin return on the cigarette

machine.]Im real sorry to hear about your wife goin missing.

[Howard gives her a half-hearted smile and nod ofappreciation.]

When I was little I had a cat named Frisky who went missing. Ilooked all over for that fool cat. I finally found hersmooshed flat as a pancake in the middle of the road. I guessshed been run over by a car; like about a hundred times. Iwrote a song about it called: Frisky and Tammy, together inheaven. Tammy Wynettes my all-time favorite singer. Sheswho I aspire to be one day. If I turn out to be Reba or FaithHill instead though, thatd be all right, too.

[To Nadine.]You gonna be tying up that phone much longer, Nadine? Thatchurch might be tryin to call me back.


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39.

NADINE[Hanging up the phone. To Roselle.]

Rodney said hed be here by ten and its after eleven. Youdont think anythings happened to him do you?

ROSELLESometimes late just happens, Nadine. One minute youre earlyand the next thing you know, youre an hour behind. Take itfrom someone whos still trying to catch up to last Tuesday.Now, just calm yourself down.

NADINE[Returning to the buffet table.]

I just worry...[A loud thunder clap as the lights dim and thenreturn. Nadine quickly covers her ears.]

ROSELLE

[To herself.]I hope I remembered to close all my windows.

[To Howard who is now banging the side of thecigarette machine.]

Its broken.

HOWARDHuh? Whats that?

ROSELLEThat cigarette machine. Its been broken for some time now.

HOWARD

There should be a sign on it or something.

ROSELLEThere used to be. It mustve fallen off. Della said she calledto have someone come around and fix it. I guess were not veryhigh on their priority list.

HOWARDThis whole place looks like its not very high on anybodyspriority list.

ROSELLE

[A quick scan of the room.]Yes, its showing its age Im afraid. Youre not from here?

HOWARDHuh? No. Outside Odessa.


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40.

ROSELLEYou shouldve seen the Moon back then in its hey-day. It wasreally something special. Magical. Electric stars twinkled upthere in that painted sky on the ceiling. You can barely seethe sky now under all that cigarette smoke but...There was a

big shining moon, too, but the wiring on it went badand...Things get old, neglected. Time takes its toll. Backthen though it was all so alive and romantic. Weekend nightspeople from towns fifty, sixty miles around would pile intotheir cars and trucks to come dance away their troubles. Somecars would be so crammed-full theyd be half-hanging outwindows and riding on the running boards.

[Pointing to one of the pictures hanging on thewall over the cigarette machine.]

That picture up there was taken on the opening day...

CONNIE[Entering. Talking on her cell phone. She will get

her purse and return with it to the other room.]How the hell could you lose..? Well, when was the last timeyou took one? You probably used them all up, then. Did youever think of that? Youve got to keep track of...Ill see ifI can talk them into writing another prescription. If theycall, you tell them you used them all up. Im going to tellthem youre out of Percocet, too.

ROSELLE[Speaking continuous under the above.]

...The music was live then; Milt Larkins Band from Houston,Lloyd Hunters Seranaders from Oklahoma City. Adolph Hofnerand the San Antonians were the favorite. Adolph was a real

heart throb. He reminded me an awful lot of Bing Crosby.Everybody danced the Fox Trot, Lindy Hop, Rhumba.

HOWARDSo, you go back to the beginning.

ROSELLEDear Lord; back at the beginning I was barely out of diapers.Lets say I go back practically to the beginning. I starteddancing at the Moon on my eighteenth birthday. The very samenight I met my Leonard. It was love at first sight, too; justlike it used to happen in the movies. We danced away that

whole night together and weve been dancing ever...[Pointing to one of the photos.]The picture...the one there on the right...That was taken atthe Moons fifteenth anniversary celebration. It was also thenight Leonard proposed to me. Im standing there by thebandstand steps, and thats Leonard next to me in the armyuniform. He was leaving the next day for Korea so it was kindof a bittersweet celebration.


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41.

BERNICE[Entering. Pushing a mop bucket on wheels. ToRoselle.]

Have you seen Eugene?

ROSELLE[With a gesture towards the mens room as shereturns to her table.]

I think hes in the confessional.

PEARL JEANRoselle says theres ghosts. Isnt that cool?

HOWARDGhosts? In here? Really?

ROSELLE[Matter-of-fact.]

Oh, yes. They lurk back in the shadows watching everythingthats going on; keeping an eye on the place. Sometimes theystep out onto the floor and dance right along with everyone.

BERNICE[At the mens room door.]

Eugene. Eugene, you need to go out and move your tow truck.Youve got it parked funny and the beer truck cant get in.

[She parks the mop bucket in its out-of-the-wayspot.]

HOWARD[To Bernice.]

That cigarette machine owes me money.

BERNICESee Della out at the bar.

CONNIE[Entering. Overlapping See Della...]

Leonas hanging all over Elvis like cheap wallpaper.

BERNICEI dont know who the hell he thinks hes kidding; thosesideburns of his are as fake as TV wrestling. They delivered

the champagne, Nadine. I stuck it in the cooler for you.

NADINE[Forcing enthusiasm.]

Thank you.


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42.

BERNICETheres some plastic glasses left over from last New Years Eveback here in a box someplace.

[During the following she will check through thestacked boxes. Howard exits into the other room.]

CONNIEI sold two more tickets for Saturday night.

[With a laugh. Taking a cigarette from the pack inher purse.]

I was dancing with this guy when he suddenly pulls back andsays: Hey, I know you, youre that actress! I see you in thepaper all the time. He had me autograph a bar napkin so hecould brag to his friends about dancing with me.

[Flipping through her Dallas magazine.]I ever tell you about the time a woman came up to me at thePiggly Wiggly and had me autograph her pork chops? Imserious. Well, not the actual pork chops, they were wrapped in

butcher paper.

BERNICEYou said it was a pot roast.

CONNIEWhat?

BERNICEThe last time you told that, it was a pot roast.

CONNIE[Annoyed.]

Pot roast, pork chops; it doesnt matter what the hell thedamn meat was, Bernice.

[Getting a pen from her purse she circles somethingin the magazine.]

ROSELLE[Going to Connie, holding up a greeting card.]

Let me ask you something. I looked through every card theyvegot at Walgreens trying to find something that would work forCongratulations on your new kidney. This is the closest Icould come to it. What do you think?

CONNIEA stork carrying a bundle in his beak?

ROSELLEI was hoping the Enjoy your new delivery might somehow getthe point across.

BERNICEWhos the lucky recipient?


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43.

ROSELLESylvia Perlman. Weve been doing dialysis together over a yearnow.

[Back to Connie.]You know Sylvia; her husband has that chain of jewelry stores.

CONNIEOh, I know Sylvia. Shes always trying out for the same partsI do and never gets cast. Her husband stopped advertising inthe program because of it which I think is very petty.

ROSELLE[Fanning herself with the card.]

Well, Harolds a real horses hind-end. So is Sylvia, but Idigress. She came in the clinic on Friday and grandlyannounced to us all shed finally found a donor. EvelynLarson, who was in the station next to me, started going greenover it. It turned out to be just a malfunction of her

machine, but deep inside we all were envious. Sylvia claimssome long lost relative came out of the woodwork with a kidneythat was a perfect match, but she wasnt fooling anybody. Weall know Harold went out and bought it for her on the blackmarket.

[Picking up the newspaper from Connies table.]Good heavens, I think this might be Mister Freddy in thispicture. Theres something about the hair. I cant say itwould surprise me much if it was. Can I borrow this?

[Preoccupied, Connie gives her a take it gesture.Another clap of thunder. Howard wanders in with afresh drink.]

PEARL JEAN[At the window.]

I just love storms. One time when I was little, the radio saidthere was a tornado storm coming so I packed my Barbiesuitcase and I went out in the backyard and waited for it totake me off to see the Wizard of Oz.

[Eugene comes out of the mens room.]

BERNICEYou have a very strange sense of adventure, Pearl Jean.

PEARL JEANThe only thing that happened though is this big old wind comeby, lifted me up an sent me crashing right into the garage.Mama said it mustve really knocked me for a loop cause I wentaround for days like some kinda crazy person.

EUGENE[As he exits into the other room.]

Hell, youre still going around like some kinda crazy person.


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44.

PEARL JEANAnd if you had a wooden leg, Eugene Pitney, youd be shit on astick!

[Giving him a raspberry.]

BERNICE[Pulling some tinsel out of a box.]Well, heres those Christmas decorations nobody could findlast year.

HOWARD[To Connie who is immersed in her magazine andtaking drags from her unlit cigarette. Overlappingdecorations.]

You suppose I could bum one of those?

CONNIEHuh? What? Im sorry, were you speaking to me?

HOWARDYes. I was asking if I could bum one of your cigarettes.

CONNIE[Holding up the pack.]

Theyre Virginia Slims.

HOWARD[Heading for her table.]

Beggars cant be choosers.

PEARL JEAN

Oh, my God, I love that song.[Rushing off to the jukebox.]

You yell at me if that phone rings okay, Roselle?

[Howard stumbles into a chair.]

CONNIEWhoa! Are you all right?

HOWARDA little light-headed. This is only my fifth drink in sixyears. I guess Im out of practice.

CONNIEWhen were the other four?

HOWARDRight before this one.

CONNIEYou need to be careful. Falling off a speeding wagon you couldbreak something.


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45.

HOWARDThis is going to be my last.

CONNIE[Handing him a cigarette.]

How many times have you said that today?

HOWARDFive.

[Nadine returns to the pay phone.]

CONNIEThats what I like; a man of his word.

[She again circles something in the magazine.]

HOWARDMy wife does that, too.

CONNIEWhat? Does what?

HOWARD[Searching his pocket for a book of matches.]

Draws circles around stuff. You cant pick up a magazine inthe house that doesnt have circles drawn around everything.

CONNIEIts the new Dallas magazine. When it comes I go through andcircle all the things going on Id want to do if I was livingthere. Its my survival therapy.

[Spoken while taking a drag from the unlitcigarette.]

The Museum of Art is having a Van Gogh exhibit. God, Idreally love to see...

HOWARDIts not lit.

CONNIEHuh?

HOWARD

[Striking a match as if to light it for her.]Your cigarette. Its not lit.


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46.

CONNIEI know. Its my crutch. Im trying to quit. Smoking. Forsomething like the sixth time. Willpowers not one of mystrong suits. Its been a living hell, too; especially in herewhere just about everybodys got a cigarette going.

[Howard ponders his cigarette and decides againstlighting it.]Oh, you can go ahead, its okay; it really doesnt bother me.

HOWARDThats okay. Ill save it for later.

[He puts the cigarette in his shirt pocket.]

CONNIESuit yourself. You ever been there? The Dallas Museum of Art?

HOWARDNo.

CONNIEYou dont know what youre missing. I tell everybody: the veryfirst place you need to go in Dallas is the Museum of Art.Some of the paintings literally take your breath away.

[Grinding the cigarette in an ashtray.]I think quitting smoking is the hardest thing Ive ever done.I take that back. Shakespeare. God, I hate Shakespeare. Incollege I was in Much Ado About Nothing. He sure got thename of that one right.

HOWARDI was in a play once.

CONNIE[Flatly.]

Were you?

HOWARDWharton Junior College. I played whats-his-name, theGentleman Caller in The Glass Menagerie.

CONNIEYoure kidding?!

HOWARDI wasnt very good. Hell, I was drunk. I had stage fright. Theonly way I could make it on stage was with a couple stiffbelts to fortify myself. One night I had a couple too many andfell over the table of glass animals and broke every damn oneof them.

CONNIEThat must have brought an early end to the play.


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47.

HOWARDIt also brought an end to my acting career. My drinking careerflourished though.

CONNIE

Thats something I never had: stage fright. When I walk out onthat stage, Im home. You know what I mean? I was seeingthis psychiatrist for awhile (for reasons I dont know youwell enough to reveal) and he said I need to act to get lostin other peoples lives so I dont have to face my own. Idont know where they come up with that cockamamie crap. Imean it. I told him: I act because Im good at it and Ivegot six best actress awards and a scrapbook full of glowingreviews to prove it. I never went back to him after that.

[Rummaging in her purse for a pill bottle.]Im going to play Amanda in The Glass Menagerie some day.Its always been one of my dream parts. The one at the top ofmy dream list though is Martha in Whos Afraid Of Virginia

Woolf?[A dramatic sigh.]

God, I love that play.[With a sarcastic half-laugh.]

Hell, Ive only spent my whole entire married life rehearsingfor it.

[As an aside.]If you know the play, you know what Im talking about.

HOWARDI saw the movie.

CONNIE

[Continuing her rummaging. Spoken more to herself.]George and Martha: sad, sad, sad.

BERNICE[Finding the box of glasses.]

Aha! I knew they were around somewhere!

CONNIE[Overlapping Bernice.]

Ive been trying for years to get the theater here to do itbut according to the Baptists on the play selection committee,Whos Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? is foul, disgusting and

immoral. Im telling you, you dont know frustration untilyouve argued with a bunch of Baptists quoting scriptures at aplay selection meeting. Talk about small-minded ignoranceand...

[Finding the pill container.]God, I hate this city. Im serious. Living here could reallydrive a person crazy, if youd let it.

[With great passion.]Im coming, Moscow! Im coming!


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HOWARDMoscow?!

CONNIEIts from The Three Sisters; you know: the play by Chekhov.

HOWARDNo.

CONNIEIts another one I did it in college. Its about these sistersliving in some crummy hell-hole of a town out in the middle ofnowhere. All they want, all they talk about is moving toMoscow one day where theres culture and stimulation. ToMoscow; one day to Moscow, theyre always saying. It keepsthem going; helps them to survive. You know what I mean?

[Taking the pill.]A couple of us in the cast made it our battle cry. When things

really got hopeless, got us feeling down, wed just cry out:To Moscow; one day to Moscow!

ROSELLEWhy on earth would anyone want to move to Moscow. That placeis all but a ghost town now.

CONNIEThe Moscow in Russia, Roselle, not the one here in Texas.

ROSELLEOh.

[A louder clap of thunder.]

Great Judas Priest!

NADINE[Hanging up the phone. An emotional wreck.]

Something has happened to Rodney, I just know it. Hesprobably been in a terrible accident and hes dead...

BERNICE[Overlapping terrible accident.]

Oh, for gods sake, Nadine, get a hold of yourself and...

NADINE

[Overlapping her.]I know hes dead. Why else wouldnt he be here? Hes been insome tragic car accident and...

ROSELLE[Overlapping Hes been...]

Now, stop thinking such awful things.


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49.

CONNIE[Going to her with a pill bottle.]

Here, take one of these.

NADINE

What is it?

CONNIEJust take it. Youll relax, calm right down.

[Emptying a pill into her hand.]

ROSELLE[Gathering up her things, including the newspaper.]

Come on, well go wait for Rodney out in the other room.[Taking her arm.]

We can watch Leona make a fool of herself over Elvis; thatshould cheer you up.

[They exit.]

BERNICE[Over her shoulder to Connie as she exits with thebox of glasses.]

I just knew in my gut he wasnt going to show.

HOWARD[To Connie.]

Sounds to me like the groom mightve come down with a case ofcold feet.

CONNIEIm putting all my hopes on the terrible car accident. When I

was in Dallas a couple years back I saw in the paper one ofthe theater groups was having tryouts. For Whos Afraid ofVirginia Woolf?. Im telling you, I came this close totrying out for it.

HOWARDWhy didnt you?

CONNIEWhat?

HOWARD

Try out for it?

CONNIEWell, because I was living here. Geographically it wasntfeasible...realistic.

HOWARDYou talked yourself out of it.


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51.

CONNIE[Going to the arch. Overlapping forty...]

Della? Bernice? The ceiling back here is leaking. You got abucket or...

[Going for the mop bucket in the corner.]

Never mind. Ive got one.

HOWARD[Overlapping Never mind.]

That movie was the life for me. Born to be wild was mybattle cry. Captain America, my hero. I started saving up fora Harley chopper: silver-chromed, low-riding, ape hangerhandlebars, stars-and- stripes tear-drop gas tank...I wasgoing to get on that bike and head out; an outlaw of the openroad just like the Captain. See the country. Get lost in it.Then one night I got drunk; stoned out of my mind with KimNovak in the back seat of my fathers Pontiac and...I knowshes been coming in here.

CONNIE[Preoccupied with the mop bucket.]

What?

HOWARDKim Novak. My wife.

[Taking a book of matches from his pocket.]I know shes been coming in here.]

CONNIEWhy do you say that?

HOWARDI found this book of matches in the glove box of her car.

[Reading, then tossing them on the table.]The Blue Moon...Dancing right there on the front.

CONNIE[Dismissing it.]

Theres nothing to say she got those matches from in here.She couldve picked them up anywhere. Ive got a whole drawerof matches from places Ive never been. Things justmysteriously show up in our lives sometimes; we dont knowwhere the hell they come from. Youre going to have to get up

so I can move this table.

HOWARD[Overlapping I can move this table.]

She walked out. Left me. But I suppose youve figured that outalready...


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HOWARD[Overlapping Connie. Continuous from crissake.]

Whys it so damn hot in...[His arm gets caught on something in his jacket ashe takes it off. He untangles a handgun from the

jacket pocket.]Shes not the only whos miserable. Shes not the only onewith a life that didnt pan out. I didnt run. I married her,didnt I? I couldve just got on that bike and...Shouldve! Ishouldve. You know what I did? I made the wrong goddamnedright choice. And it came back to bite me right on the ass!

CONNIE[Seeing the gun. Overlapping on the ass.]

Whats that?! You cant have that gun in here. Didnt you seethe sign on the front door?

HOWARD

Im not soliciting.

[Pearl Jean rushes in to the phone.]

CONNIEThe other door. The one that says, No firearms permitted inthis building.

[A loud crack of lightning.]What were you going to do? If you found her in here, what didyou think you were going to do? Shoot her? Shoot her forwalking out before...?

HOWARD

I dont know what I was going to do with it. I just brought italong for...Support, I guess. Confidence. Okay, I thoughtabout it...Shooting her. Him. The both of them. I hadntdecided.

CONNIE[Overlapping I hadnt decided.]

Both? How do you know there was somebody...

HOWARD[Putting the gun to his head. Overlapping therewas.]

Hell, maybe even me. God knows Ive thought about it enoughtimes.

CONNIEYou dont mean that. Youre drunk, you dont...Put that thingaway. Im serious. You put that away or Ill call Della inhere. Shell boot your ass right out of...


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55.

PEARL JEAN[Hanging up the phone. Speaking to no one inparticular.]

They want three thousand dollars for that bus.

ROSELLE[Continuous from above. Overlapping Pearl Jean.]...Here we go. The performances by the talented cast are topnotch. Miguel Fernandez, manager of Panchos restaurant isespecially convincing as Hoke the chauffeur. Kudos to the make-up department. Well, I dont entirely agree with her there.

[To Leona who enters angrily with her wig in hand.]What happened to you?

LEONA[Heading for the ladies room.]

Goddamned Japanese wig makers.

ROSELLE[Back to the review.]

Alright, here you are.

CONNIE[Covering her ears.]

I dont want to hear it.

ROSELLEBut its long time community theater favorite ConstanceWeidner who steals away the show. As the sarcastic, silver-tongued Atlanta widow of the plays title she is simplydelicious. Her performance can only be likened to that of a

tantalizing, fresh-from-the-oven peach cobbler. Oh, dearLord!

CONNIE[Dropping her hands.]

What?! Peach cobbler?! Youre not serious![Grabbing away the paper.]

It doesnt really say that?! I dont believe...Is shereviewing Driving Miss Daisy or the dessert menu at Dennysfor crissake?!

ROSELLE

Well, she gives it five utensils: a knife, a spoon and threeforks. Thats a better rating than she gave those bakedchicken croquettes.


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56.

NADINE[Entering excitedly with Rodney on her arm. He isaverage looking, slightly overweight and in his mid-thirties. He wears a tuxedo and carries a largewhite cake box.]

Look whos finally arrived! He had a flat tire. Thats all itwas, just a flat tire.

RODNEYI had to go to five places to find a cake that was big enough.

ROSELLE[Going to the cake box.]

Oh, let me see it!

PEARL JEANWhat am I supposed to do now? They want three thousand dollarsfor that bus. I dont have that kind of money.

CONNIEMake them an offer, maybe theyll come down.

[Her cell phone rings.]

PEARL JEANUntil payday all Ive got is thirty dollars.

CONNIEI doubt theyll come down that far.

ROSELLE[Reading the writing on the cake.]

Happy Anniversary Lil and Ernie?

RODNEYNobody picked it up so I got it for half-price.

[Holding up a plastic bride and groom.]They gave me this to put on the top.

CONNIE[Answering the phone. Overlapping They gave methis..]

What do you...? What?! Do I look like an ambulance driver,Charlie; why the hell are you calling me?! Dying?! Well, if

you think youre dying, hang up the damn phone and dial nine,one...

LEONA[The sound of a gunshot in the mens room followedby her scream from the ladies room.]

Ive been shot! Oh, my God, Ive been shot!

[The lights black out.]


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ACT II

SCENE 1

[In the darkness.]

DELLAIm afraid the storms gettin worse out there, folks. Theradios now sayin theres a threat of large hail, damaginwind and possible tornadoes. We need the rain but they cankeep the rest of it. As far as Elvis karaoke machine: Ivegot a couple more leads to follow up on so dont go givin uphope just yet. In the mean time, beers on the house.

[The lights fade up along with the jukebox. Thecurtain in the arch is pulled halfway across.Nadine and Rodney will occasionally be seen dancingpast the opening. Roselle is dancing by herself and

singing along softly with the jukebox. Bernice isclearing away party remnants from the tables,tossing paper plates, cups, napkins, etc into aplastic trash bag.]

BERNICELeonas lucky she wasnt wearing her head when that bulletwent through it. He said he didnt know the gun was loaded.Where have we heard that before?

ROSELLEIts time she put that wig out to pasture anyhow. Leonard and

I won the Moons jitterbug contest one year. Did you knowthat?

BERNICEYou told me. Hes out in his car sleeping it off. Della tookhis keys and has that gun locked in the safe.

ROSELLE[Overlapping locked. To herself.]

I wonder what happened to that loving cup they gave us.

BERNICE

Theres something fishy about him if you ask me.

ROSELLEFishy? How do you mean?

BERNICEWell, that story about his wife for one thing. Im notaltogether convinced theres a lot of truth to it.


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58.

ROSELLEWhy do you say that?

BERNICEI dont know. Its a feeling Ive got.

ROSELLEYoure being suspicious for no reason.

BERNICEIve had three rotten marriages. Ive come by suspicion thehard way.

ROSELLEI dont know what reason hed have to lie about it.

BERNICEHes a man. Men are good at that kind of thing.

ROSELLEOh, I dont think its just men...

BERNICEMyron, my first husband, could lie like a rug and I believedevery damn word. Rug, hell, that son-of-a-bitch lied like wallto wall carpeting. Just about every man who comes in heresgot a line of lies you can hang out a weeks worth of wash on.

ROSELLE[Returning to the half eaten piece of cake on hertable.]

What about the women who come in and believe them? Theyrelying, too. Its a two way street, Bernice. Im guilty of it.I admit it. I had a nice looking man one time tell me I wasthe spitting image of Grace Kelly. Thats when I was muchyounger of course, and she was still alive. I knew darn wellhe was just lying to get friendly with me but I believed himanyhow. I dont know, I think sometimes we need to believe inlies to keep ourselves going; especially when the truth isalways letting us down so.

[Taking a bite of cake.]Im going to pay a price for eating this cake but I cantresist. It really is good, dont you think? For store bought.

BERNICEIts a pity Lil and Ernie didnt get to have any of it.

ROSELLEI know. I feel so guilty enjoying it when who knows what kindof a sad or tragic end they mightve come to.

BERNICEIts a cake, Roselle!


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59.

ROSELLEI know. I know. Guilt has always come to me easy for somereason.

[Her attention has been drawn to Nadine and Rodneywho have danced into view. She is beaming, he is

emotionless.]Doesnt Nadine look happy. Im so relieved for her.

BERNICEI admit I didnt have much hope for this wedding. If I was abetting woman Id be a loser right now.

ROSELLE[Getting her camera.]

I havent prayed so hard since baby Jessica was stuck downthat well at Midland.

[Positioning herself to take their picture.]All right, smile you two. For heavens sake smile, Rodney.

[He forces a smile and she takes the picture.]I guess you could call that a smile.

BERNICE[Spotting a bug on a nearby table she picks up thenewspaper and folds it into a swatter.]

Connies sitting out there at the bar drinking SouthernComfort like theres no tomorrow. I think shes more upsetabout the write up in the paper than she is Charlie beinghauled off to the hospital in that ambulance.

ROSELLEI dont believe she really hates Charlie as much as she puts

on. Do you?

BERNICE[Successfully swatting the bug.]

She wants him dead.

ROSELLEWell, hes dying anyway; she just wants him to get on with it,thats all. I had an Aunt Irene that was hateful. Lord, shewas the most cantankerous, ornery woman Ive ever known. I seea lot of her in Leona. Aunt Irene and her husband Roland gotinto a fight over something or another one day, and she swore

to hate him for the rest of her life. And she did.[Her attention becomes drawn to something on theceiling.]

They lived together with her hating him for forty-three years.Right there in the same house. When he had a stroke in thekitchen, she just stepped right over him and kept on peelingpotatoes for the pot roast.


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60.

BERNICEForty-three years. Youve got to admire the womansdetermination. What are you looking at?

[Stand By Your Man begins to play on the

jukebox.]

ROSELLEThere in that water stain. It looks kind of like a face, dontyou think?

BERNICEA face?!

ROSELLE[Pointing.]

Yes. See. That could be a nose. An eye where the rainsleaking from...Its almost like it could be crying.

BERNICEOh my God, you know who that is?!

ROSELLEIt looks like someone familiar but...

BERNICEThats Jesus Christ!

ROSELLEWhat?!

[Dismissing it with a laugh.]

No! Thats not...Good heavens, Bernice...

BERNICEDamned if it isnt. Come back here and take another...Comeover here. Thats the face of Jesus Christ, plain as day...Andhes crying tears of sorrow down into that mop bucket.

ROSELLETears of sorrow?!

CONNIE[Entering.]

Whatre you looking at? Another piece of ceiling ready tocome down?[Skirting the area on the way to her table.]

ROSELLEBernice thinks she sees the face of Jesus up there in thatwater stain.

CONNIEJesus?! You mean the one from the cross?


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BERNICE[With sarcasm.]

No, the one from Taco Bell. Come on over here and look atthis.

CONNIEJesus and I are not exactly on speaking terms right now.

BERNICEJust come back here and take a...

EUGENE[Entering. To Bernice on his way to the mensroom.]

Hey, Della said you need to fix a plate of cookies and stuffand bring it out to her.

BERNICE

[Grabbing his arm.]Eugene, come here. Come on over here and take a look up there.Look up there at that water stain on the ceiling. You see thatface?

EUGENESay, what?

BERNICEThat face. Up there in that water stain.

EUGENE[Squinting.]

Huh?

BERNICEIts a face. See it? The eyes there, that kinda scragglybeard; long stringy hair...

EUGENEYah! Yah, man, I can see it now!

BERNICEWho is it? Who do you see?

EUGENEHoly shit! Its Willie Nelson!

BERNICEWillie Nelson?! Thats not Willie Nelson, you idiot. ItsJesus Christ.

EUGENEWell, yah, I guess it could be him, too.

[He exits into to the mens room.]


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63.

CONNIE[At the window.]

The winds blown half the numbers off the Chevron gas pricesign. It now says seven cents a gallon. The good old days areback!

ROSELLECome away from that window. If some tornado comes barrelingthrough, thats the last place you want to be.

CONNIEI wish it would. I really do. I wish to hell some tornadowould come barreling through and lift us all up and drop usdown smack-dab in the middle of downtown Dallas.

BERNICESpeak for yourself. Theres some of us who dont want to go onany tornado rides to Dallas or anyplace else for that matter.

Except Pearl Jean here but I think shes learned her lesson onthat one.

CONNIEAll right, just me then. The rest of you can just lay here inthe rubble.

[Spotting Rodney and Nadine who have danced intoview.]

I havent danced with the groom yet.[Going to them.]

Come here, Rodney and give Connie a twirl around the floor.

RODNEY

I dont...

CONNIE[Grabbing his arm.]

Cmon. Nadine doesnt mind, do you?

NADINENo, I...

BERNICENadine, come look up here on the ceiling. You see that face?Whose is that? Whos that look like to you?

NADINEFace? I dont see any...

[Pearl Jeans curiosity draws her to them.]

BERNICEYeah, you do. There in that water stain. See there. ItsJesus. Isnt that the face of Jesus plain as...?


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PEARL JEANWell, yeah! Holy cow, it is, aint it! I had a Bible Storiescolorin book when I was little. It looks just like the Jesusthat was in that colorin book.

BERNICESee there! I told you so! Confirmed by Pearl Jeans coloringbook!

CONNIEWheres your mind, Rodney? It sure the hell isnt on yourfeet.

RODNEYIm sorry, I...

CONNIEHere, let me take the lead.

[While changing her position she spills her drinkdown the front of him.]

Oops!

BERNICEI think youve had your limit of Southern Comfort for today.

CONNIEHell, I used up todays limit hours ago. Im already half wayinto tomorrow.

[She leaves Rodney and heads for her table. Pickingup a cigarette, she surveys the room. Speaking tono one in particular.]

God, this place is such a dump.[Assuming a Bette Davis attitude and voice.]

What a dump![Picking up the book of matches from the table shestrikes one and is about to light the cigarette.]

BERNICE[Interrupting her. Her tone is flat and casual.]

Youre walking on stage, coughing and wheezing, dragging atank of oxygen behind you with tubes stuck up your nose.


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65.

CONNIE[Waving out the match and tossing it in anashtray.]

I dont know who the hell Im kidding. Im never going to playMartha in Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Im going to be

right here being Connie Weidner for the rest of my goddamnedlife. Connie Weidner: the bored-to-death, stuck-in-hell,Betty Crocker award-winning actress and lifetime subscriber toDallas magazine in...

[Reading the cover of the match book still in herhand.]

The Blue Moon...Dancing. The scenery never changes. Itsalways the same dreary rundown dance hall out on the outskirtsof nowhere with burned-out stars in a falling down sky. A jukebox plays the same tired old songs...Cockroaches line-dance onthe table tops. The same life-beaten characters come and go...

BERNICE

Oh, for Gods sake. Let me get my violin.

CONNIE[Tossing down the match book.]

Go to hell.

PEARL JEANAm I in your play, too, Connie?

CONNIEYoure all in it.

BERNICE

Not me. You wouldnt get me out on a stage for love nor money.

CONNIEIts too late. Wave to all the people out there.

LEONA[Entering.]

What are you all back here gabbing about?

ROSELLEConnies decided her life is a play and were all in it.

LEONAI want Cher to play me.

CONNIEIm sorry Cher turned it down. Youre stuck playing yourself.


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LEONAWell, shell regret it.

[Smugly waving a piece of paper.]Okay, you ready for this? Elvis gave me his room number. Hewants me to join him across the road at the Dixie 6. What

should I do? Im going.

ROSELLE[With a laugh]

Youre not serious.

LEONA[Gathering her coat, bag, etc.]

Hell, if Im not!

NADINE[Appearing in the arch. Overlapping Hell, if Imnot!]

Connie, your phone is ringing.[Connie does a quick look around for it.]

You left it out here on the bar.

CONNIE[As she exits.]

You need to see someone about getting that bullet hole in yourhead plugged up quick, Leona, cause youre losing all yourcommon sense.

LEONAScrew common sense.

BERNICEThink about what youre doing.

LEONAThink about it?! Hell, thats all I do. Im tired of thinkingabout it. Im tired of talking about it; watching old movieson TV dreaming about it. Im tired of curling up with someromance novel, a bottle of scotch and a box of Little DebbieSnack Cakes thinking its the best Im going to get.

[Waving around the piece of paper.]Ive been waiting around my whole life for this moment to comealong and its here.

BERNICEWhat about Walter?

LEONAWalter?! What the hells Walter got to do with...


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67.

BERNICEIf you think God would send your ass off to hell for divorcingWalter; what do you think Gods going to say about you doingthe funky chicken with Elvis over at the Dixie 6 motel?

LEONAGods on my side with this one. Hes finally answering myprayers!

BERNICEOh for crissake, Leona; the sell by date on those prayerswas up over thirty years ago. That guy is not Elvis Presley.

LEONA[Totally losing it. Dead serious.]

He is if I need him to be, goddammit!![Grabbing her stuff and storming off.]

Now, everybody just get the hell out of my way!

PEARL JEAN[Singing from the notebook. Overlapping hell.]

My colorin book Jesus cries tears from theceilin...(somethin, somethin, somethin)...Got me afeelin...

[She returns her pencil to the notebook withinspirational fervor.]

BERNICEWell, I dont want to be around when she realizes whatshes... Whats that smell? Somethings burning. You smellsomething burning?

PEARL JEANIts probly creepy Eugene in there smokin those funnycigarettes again.

BERNICE[Stopping to bang on the mens room door as sheheads off into the other room with a plate ofcookies.]

Eugene! Della warned you about smoking those things in here.You want to get the place shut down?! Flush it now and get onout of there.

PEARL JEAN[Loudly.]

And why dont you flush your stupid head while youre at it![To Roselle. Fishing in her purse.]

You ever wanted somethin so bad it hurt inside, Roselle? Ithurt so bad cause you were scared youd never get it and itwould end-up dead with you in your grave?


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68.

ROSELLEWeve all had our share of disappointments, Pearl Jean, andmost of us have managed to live on in spite of them.

PEARL JEAN

Ive never sung anyplace except here with the jukebox and athome with the radio but...[Suddenly remembering.]

I did sing The Star Spangled Banner at the start of thedemolition derby at the county fair last year. They didnttell

Blue Moon Dancing Script

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Transcript of Blue Moon Dancing Script