Best of Penn 2015
Transcript of Best of Penn 2015
Front1
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of 2015
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Best Formal LocationBest Place to Throw Up
Best Food TruckBest Coffeehouse
Best Use of BursarBest Tailor/Laundry Service
Best Breakfast SandwichBest Rowdy BYO
Best Froyo/Ice CreamBest Campus Addition
Best Instagram Spot Best Place to Get Pampered
Best On-Campus Housing Best Off-Campus Housing
Best Happy HourBest Bar
Best DeliveryBest Brunch
Best Place to Go When SexiledBest Place to Meet Wharton MBAs
Best Place to NapBest Place to Anti-SAB
Best Place to CryBest Place to Go On an Adventure
Best Place to Take Your Mom
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Students' Choice
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Sip.Study.Repeat.Study for fi nals and enjoy exotic coffee blends at Pétrus Ky Café.
267.969.6196 | petruskycafe.comChestnut Hall Apts - 3900 Chestnut St.
PENNOF Pop anthems. Leather couches. Sexy lighting. Lenient bartenders. Big drinks. Private places for a sneaky, fun time.
Was your � rst thought ‘Are you talking about the Rhythm Room?’ No, it wasn’t.Was your second thought, ‘What is the Rhythm Room?’ Probably. (It’s the new bar in the Rave
Cinema, by the way.)Was your third thought, ‘Why, dear God, why would anyone go to there?’ Veri� ed yes, it was.Well, listen the fuck up because the Rhythm Room is the formal hotspot you never knew you
needed.� e illustrious Elizabeth Barrett Browning once wrote of the Rhythm Room:How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee more than Copa, Tap or Smokes’ on Tuesday night.Empty theaters my date and I will breach, when we want to get out of sight.For the end of being sober, you’re an ideal place.I love thee to the level Oz groupies love � e HeyDaze.If you asked me if I liked thee
to feel ironic, you’d only be half right.
I love thee freely, as drinks are cheap in price.
I might’ve paraphrased that. Either way, get yourself to the Rhythm Room. Street’s having our formal there—if you’re lucky enough to snag yourself an invite.
P.S. If you decide we suck, you can always Irish exit with your mojito in hand, courtesy of their convenient to–go cups.
Best Formal Location: The Rhythm Room
After heated discussions of what makes Penn the best, this is what we, the Street Editors, came up with. We reccommend that you read this while drinking a gin and tonic from the Rhythm Room lounging atop Amy Gutmann's feather bed.
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Thanks for voting us“Best Campus Addition”!
Thanks for voting usThanks for voting us“Best Campus Addition”!“Best Campus Addition”!
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Best Place to Go When Sexiled: Your roommate's fuckbuddy's room
BEPP250 prefers to fuck you slowly to the Mortal Kombat theme song on loop for 10 hours on YouTube. But before you camp out in a GSR with the door cracked slightly open to prevent the pooling of your tears, remember that somewhere on campus there is another person like you, and another bed like yours. Spending a weekend night holed up in Hunts-man is already depressing enough. Dragging yourself back to your room to � nd a sock on the doorknob fucks you over minus the actual fucking. All of a sudden you’re nothing but a wanderer of the night, left out in the cold while your roommate makes use of your R. Kelly Spotify playlist, which is so untouched it has pixelated dust bunnies on it.
Cheer up and go grab yourself some late–night Axe Body Spray from � e Fresh Grocer, because it’s time to make a new friend. � is will not be another night spent playing Yu–Gi–Oh! against yourself in a dark Van Pelt corner. Go to your roommate’s lover’s room, knock on the door and brace yourself for some good ol’ human interaction. Maybe you’ll meet your new best friend. Or, better yet, a lover. Remember on How I Met Your Mother when Ted was in � e Mother’s apartment like four seasons before they ever met? (Ed. note: If this is a spoiler for you, forget going to their room and get on Net� ix, ASAP.) � is is you cutting corners. Penn has 10,000 undergrads and a huge chunk of that population is single and ripe for picking. What if the roommate is that slender blonde with the piercing blue eyes who you catch checking you out in your Spanish class? What if the roommate is the person from your freshman hall you had way too much sexual tension with, swiped right on Tin-der “by accident,” matched and laughed it o� as a joke even though you would totally do it (read: them)? You miss 100% of the shots you don’t aimlessly barge into at 2am.
Best Place to Meet Wharton MBAs: LinkedIn
At Street we pride ourselves on being classy. � at is, being with the Wharton MBA Class of 2016.
And the best way to bask in the elegance of said class is LinkedIn, the Belvedere of social networks. True, the professional bene� ts of LinkedIn are debatable, but the site’s capacity for networking with a well–endowed Wharton Executive Education hottie is unmatched. Here’s how to take your romance out of the boardroom and into the bedroom:
1. Go to LinkedIn.com2. Advanced search: � e Wharton School3. Select Industry: Finance4. Company: Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, McKinsey (whichever � rm � ts your fancy)
5. Optional: Fortune level (50 = old ass dudes, if you’re tryna get it now. 1000 = young dudes who you can debatably fuck without Viagra).
Now, � nd the most connected MBA and send him/her an InMail—ask about “networking op-portunities." Make sure you mention your love of � nace and the undeveloped market that is your body.
Once Mr. Hubby responds, ask him to connect. From there you can endorse his skills in pro-prietary trading. � en he can endorse your skills in the sheets (not talking about Excel here).
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3549 Chestnut Street | (215) 387-8808 | sangkeenoodlehouse.com
BYOB Weekend Special(Thursdays through Sundays)
Enjoy Your Favorite Bottle of WineWhen Dining in Our Restaurant
Call for more information!
Since tobacco barons Mr. and Mrs. Eisenlohr turned over 3812 Walnut to dear old Pennsylvania in 1939, this chateau revivalist mansion has probably seen less shut–eye than celebrated architect Horace Trumbauer initially designed it for. Originally passed on to the Graduate School of Education, it was only in 1981 that this West Philadelphia masterpiece came to be the much ne-glected President’s House.
While Amy G personally may prefer to keep her hubby company in New York, we at Street hear that our friends from SLAP and SOUL got her covered. Despite the availability of unused rooms, recliners and garden benches (the cherry blossoms are beautiful), our activist brethren set up shop on the floor with some coordinated sleep–shouting. (Ed. note: Italian marble may not be the comfiest place to violently dream up Penn’s PILOT contributions, though the 24 newly–empty Philly public schools make a viable alternative.) Not to be outdone, our President’s empathetic response was probably the closest thing she’s gotten to a good old nap in a 90 mile radius. A top tip for the next soirée-crashers: sweet nightmares—die–in’s are out, and lie–in’s are, well, in.
Everyone knows that there are certain places on campus that are perfect for SABS–ing, like the outside deck of Fron-tera or an elevated surface at Rumor. But sometimes you wake up in the morning in an ugly guy’s bed, with your eyebrows not at all on fleek, and you really just need to avoid people. What you need is a good anti–SABS location. What you need is a trip to Penne Restaurant and Wine Bar.
You know Penne—it’s that vaguely Italian restaurant at 36th and Walnut that you’ve never stepped foot inside. Maybe your parents have gone there for a drink to pregame your horrible Pan–Asian tap dance show they have to attend because they literally conceived you. But it’ll be a cold day in hell before you see a Penn student there.
That’s what makes it the perfect place to anti–SABS. You step into Penne, order a large glass of their house red and a plate of fettuccine alfredo, and revel in your social irrelevance. There’s no way you’ll run into your big or that bro in Kappa Sig that would be cute if he weren’t so bitey when you hooked up (Ed. note: please stop biting my lips—they’re not chew toys). It’s just you and your pasta, the way it should be.
Best Place to Nap: Amy Gutmann's House
Best Place to Throw Up: Sig Chi/ATO Volleyball Court
You stumble home from your late night, only to find yourself in desperate need of a throw up location. Trash-cans are too widely dispersed, and any public bathrooms still open (read: Allegro) put you at the risk of running into your hookup from 20 minutes ago. Sure, you could vomit on the side of the road or into some bushes, but you’d like to maintain at least a little dignity while you dry heave.
So, look no further than the sand volleyball court behind ATO. The sand is absorbent and the courts are vacant about five months out of the year (shoutout to the decidedly anti–beach volleyball weather of Philadelphia). Most importantly, the court’s location—hidden in the shad-owy depths of Locust Walk—provide you with easy access, while the surrounding shrubbery and architecture add a surprising amount of privacy. It’s like the drunken version of The Secret Garden.
As an added bonus, the sand provides extra padding for you and your hair–holding compan-ion to kneel comfortably.
There’s only one downside: The windows of Hillel put you on full display. Swallow your pride and let everything else come up while rabbis watch you vomit to your heart’s content.
Best Place to Anti-SABS: Penne
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The Radian’s daring lines and cutting edge lifestyle is your boldest choice for off-campus freedom. Space is limited.
Don’t miss out!
Individual leases
Utility package w/internet & cable
Fully furnished w/full size bed
City-view clubroom w/walkout terrace
Private study room
Fitness center
radianapartments.com
N O W L E A S I N G F O R 2 0 1 5 – 2 0 1 6 S C H O O L Y E A R
3925 Walnut Street - 215.222.4212
The Radian’s daring lines and cutting edge lifestyle is your boldest choice for off-campus freedom. Space is limited.
Don’t miss out!
Individual leases
Utility package w/internet & cable
Fully furnished w/full size bed
City-view clubroom w/walkout terrace
Private study room
Fitness center
radianapartments.com
radianapartments.com
N O W L E A S I N G F O R 2 0 1 5 – 2 0 1 6 S C H O O L Y E A R
3925 Walnut Street - 215.222.4212
J O I N T H E R A D I A NV I P L I S T !
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BRAND NEWStudent
Apartments!Enjoy granite kitchens with
all appliances, custom private bathrooms, hardwood fl oors,
Flat Screen TVs in family rooms, alarm systems, front door
monitors, fi re sprinkler systems.
Limited Availability. Call today! 855-205-0500 | universityrealtyapartments.com
FREE SHUTTLE SERVICE for all tenants to and from campus every 45 minutes!
38th & Spring Garden: 3BR, 3BTH – starting at $1,895.0038th & Hamilton: 3BR, 3BTH – starting at $2,000.00 38th & Hamilton: 3BR, 2BTH – starting at $1,950.00
All are FURNISHED, and have a FITNESS CENTER & STUDY ROOM!
Best Place to Cry: Women's Center
Best Place to go on an Adventure:
The Woodlands Cemetery
� ere’s nothing more adventurous than blurring the line be-tween life and death. If you’re ready to live on the edge, leave the Penn bubble and walk a few blocks to the Woodlands Cemetery at 40th street and Baltimore avenue. � e multipur-pose ground is a West Philly gem. � e mile–long loop around the edge of cemetery is the perfect path for runners and walk-ers (including the walking dead). Also, many Philadelphians picnic at the Victorian era grounds. � e Hamilton Mansion, located in the cemetery’s center, can be rented out for private events. You can also do drugs here. Or maybe, make this your formal destination? � e Wood-lands Cemetery also holds events throughout the year, such as the upcoming GO WEST! Craft Festival this Saturday, April 25th, from 11am to 5pm. � e festival highlights local art vendors, food, music and performers—including circus aerial-ists. � is spooky cemetery is so hot right now that people are dying to get in.
Women, am I right? Always crying about this or that, probably because of the patriarchy. In any case, Fergie was wrong when she said big girls don’t cry. Sometimes you just have to let it all out, and there’s no better place than the Women’s Center. Serious-ly, the Women’s Center has an amazing, supportive sta� , a community of extremely car-ing people (not just women), the cutest dog you’ll ever see, couches and free tea. It’s not only the best spot to cry, but really, it’s the best spot to do anything. � ey can help you get through any crisis, no matter how big or small, and for that we thank them. It might be called the Women’s Center, but the place is perfect for fellas and non–cis people too.
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Best Happy Hour $6 house wines, sangria, well drinks and discounted draft beer with our specially priced Happy Hour Menu. Mon - Fri from 4 - 7 PM
3420 sansom st, philadelphia | 215-386-9224 | whitedog.com
A UNIVERSITY CITY FAVORITE
FarM FresH BruncH Every Saturday and Sunday from 10 AM – 2:30 PM with $4 Bloody Marys, Mimosas, Greyhounds and Sangria
Best Place to Take Your Mom: The Barnes FoundationMom’s made her way to campus to see her little smoochykins. (Ed. note: Yes, you should be embarrassed she still calls you that.) You’ve gone through the routine: shown o� your freshly cleaned room, walked up and down Locust and had a late lunch at White Dog. Now it’s time to bring out the big guns and show her how liberal artsy your Penn education has made you. � e Barnes Foundation is just a short ride from campus and an oasis of its own. Step onto
the smooth stone pathway and you’ll be greeted by lush greenery, re� ective ponds and soothing fountains. Perfect to relax that nervous mother of yours after any concerns raised at White Dog.� e Barnes Foundation crafted this quirky museum with the crucial understanding that people hate to read. Enjoy his vision. No more labels and tedious texts to bog you down, just take in the creative assembly of art. � e galleries are intimate and the
arrangement of the art is visually stimulating. � e dynamic range of artistic styles gives the exhibits de� nition and depth. Bonus: the small size of the Barnes means you don’t even have to schlep mom around too much. She'll be captivated for hours and there's plenty of places for you to sit while trying to come up with an Insta caption that’ll make you seem cultured as fuck.
To everyone: Read Street tomor-row #Shout-outs
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Best Food Truck: Magic
CarpetThe only place on campus
where you actually can’t believe it’s vegetarian. The
regular lunchtime line is always worth the wait for the
best falafel balls at Penn.
Best Coffeehouse: HubbubBe SABS-y, recover from your hangover or go hard on your homework in the only restaurant at Penn with a 100 percent health code rating. With donuts almost as delicious as the owner, let the fleet of hipster baristas treat you to your next caffeine rush.
MI JIANG/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER
Students' Choice
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Domino’s™
ORDER ONLINE
Get your favorite pizza, oven-baked sandwiches, and cheesy bread at our two locations!
Open Late, Deliver Late: Sun-Thur 10:30am-1am • Fri & Sat 10:30am-3am
215-557-0940401 N. 21st St.
Philadelphia, PA
215-662-14004438 Chestnut St.Philadelphia, PA
Any delivery charge is not a tip paid to your driver. Our drivers carry less than $20. You must ask for this limited time offer. Delivery Charges and Tax may apply. Prices, participation, delivery area and charges may vary. Returned checks, along with the state’s maximum allowable returned check fee may be electronically presented to your bank.
© Domino’s IP Holder LLC. Domino’s Pizza ® and the modular logo are registered trademarks of Domino’s IP Holder LLC. DM1414
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33rd & ChestnutPhiladelphia, PA 19104
(267) 233.7488
HOURSMon - Fri : 11:30am - 10:00pm
Sat : 5:00pm - 10:00pmSun : 5:00pm - 9:00pm
www.cozaraphilly.com
Izakaya * Sushi * Sake
BUY BOOKS SELL BOOKS SAVE MONEY
130 S 34th Street (215)-222-7600
Independent booksellers since 1962
BUY BOOKSSELL BOOKSSAVE MONEY
Independent booksellers since 1962
130 S 34th Street (215)-222-7600http://www.pennbookcenter.com
Best Instagram Spot: Love StatueIt’s a rite of passage at Penn to at least once embrace your inner basic betch and Insta the Love Statue. If you haven’t posed in front of the Love Statue with your new BFFs during NSO or with your bae on Valentine’s Day, you probably go to Drexel.
Best Place to Get Pampered: Adolf BieckerTreat yo’self to a blowout or mani-pedi without even having to cab downtown.
GUYRANDY JEAN-GILLES/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER
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Philly’s Best Wings!
1116 Walnut Street | 215.627.7676 | www.moriartyspub.com
28 b
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on t
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ervice
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A favorite of Penn students for decades!150 Bottled Beers.
from Ice Cream and Yogurt to Gourmet Chocolates and Cakes!
find us on WE DELIVER:
1315 Walnut Street | 215-988-9992 | @phillyscoopdeville1315 Walnut Street | 215-988-9992 | @phillyscoopdeville
Best Breakfast Sandwich: Lyn’sThe egg sandwiches — which are under $5 btw — are always worth the lunchtime line. That eggplant parm doe.
Best Rowdy BYO: IztaccihuatlYou don’t go to Iztaccihuatl for their guac, quesadillas or burritos. You go for the next day’s hazy memories of the good times.
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Complete Rentals: $59.99
Best Happy Hour: HarvestFeaturing $2 beers, $3 wines and $4 sangria, Harvest takes happy hour to the next level.
Best Bar: Smokey Joe’sBusiness Insider recently discovered what we all know to be true — Smoke’s is one of the best college bars in the U.S. Sink or swim is why you’re late to your Wednesday 9 a.m., and you haven’t lived until singing along to Kweder’s rendition of “You Belong With Me.”
LUKE CHEN/DIRECTOR OF ONLINE PROJECTS
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universityenterprisesUE
Apartments & Townhouses
Locations you want.Prices you need.Experience you trust.
NOW LEASING!
1BR Apartments 42nd & Pine | 44th & Pine
OUR 50th YEAR SERVING PENN STUDENTS
THE BEST LOCATIONS
Available July 1! Renovated Eat-in-Kitchen w/ Garbage Disposal Washer/Dryer in Building | Hardwood Floors
3BR Apartment 42nd & Pine
Available September 1! 2BTH | Bi-level | Hardwood Floors Central Air | Renovated Kitchen | Washer/Dryer in Building
4019 Locust St.215-222-5500
[email protected]“Your mother will be happy.”
Best Campus Addition: Zesto’sZesto’s is like Allegro’s hotter older brother. The eatery fi rst began to throw us off our diets when it opened in the fall, providing delicious, cheesy pizza until 3 a.m. on weekends.
Best Froyo/Ice cream: Franklin
FountainFinally, something historic you
actually want to take your parents to. One of the oldest ice cream parlors in the U.S., Franklin Fountain employees
serve up insane sundaes while sporting dope 18th century outfi ts.
RITIKA PHILIP/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER
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214 South 45th Street(Between Locust & Walnut)
215.662.1663
Monday–Saturday10AM–8PM
To donate, call 215.662.1663
THE SECOND MILE CEN
TER
Clothing, appliances, books, furniture, household items, and more!
THRIFT STORE
www.TheSecondMileCenter.com
Best Brunch: Sabrina’sSabrina’s is the only place in Philly worth a 20+ minute walk. Taking a more-is-more approach to brunch — aka, the only way to brunch — our homegirl Sabrina throws caution to the wind and makes french toast bigger than your face stuffed with cream cheese, oreos and blueberries. It creates and defi nes the term “flavorgasm.”
Best Delivery: PostmatesThere is possibly nothing better than getting food from almost anywhere delivered with minimal human interac-tion. Aside from Netflix automatically playing the next episode of "House of Cards," Postmates is the ultimate laziness enabler. And we love it.
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215.386.4600 • NewDeckTavern.com • 3408 Sansom St
Happy HourMonday through Friday,
5pm-7pm Enjoy it on our outdoor patio!
Kitchen open everyday, 11am-1amBring your appetite!
Happy Hour: $5 Appetizers $1 off all Beer, Wine, and Cocktails
House Available42nd & Baltimore
Victorian house with very large rooms. Perfect for college students!
8 BR & 3.5 BTHSWall to wall carpetStorage roomWasher & dryerBackyardFinished basement2 Kitchens3 RefrigeratorsHousekeepingAlarm system
Includes:
Prices range from $425–$525 per person plus utilities.Available May 1st
Contact Said Mohamed at 267-872-5154
LUKE CHEN/DIRECTOR OF ONLINE PROJECTS
Best Use of Bursar: Penn BookstoreWhy bursar your latte from Starbucks when you can buy sweats on sweats from the place you’re supposed to buy that Chemistry textbook from?
Best Tailor/Laundry Service: Bonded Cleaners
The next time you spill jungle juice on your roommate’s shirt, take it to Bonded, which
is essentially the ER for stained clothes. If you’re trying to not look like an unmade bed for an OCR interview or formal, hit up
their same-day dry cleaning.
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Now Leasing! Flexible Leasing • Single and Double Rooms •
Individual Leases • All Amenities and Utilities Included
Call
215.662.0802
Stop in
20 South 36th Street
Today to learn how to make
The Axis your home away from home!
Flexible Leasing • Single and Double Rooms • Individual Leases • All Amenities and Utilities Included
Call215.662.0802
Stop in20 South 36th Street
Now Leasing! Flexible Leasing • Single and Double Rooms •
Individual Leases • All Amenities and Utilities Included
Call
215.662.0802
Stop in
20 South 36th Street
Today to learn how to make
The Axis your home away from home!
Don’t settle for less thanTHE BEST!
Now Leasing!
Best On-Campus Housing: The QuadWith a giant lawn, ultimate study breaks and an easily accessible roof, the Quad is the ultimate dream on-campus living location.
Best Off-Campus Housing: The RadianClose to both Tap House and Jimmy John's, The Radian ensures you never have to be further than fi ve minutes away from home. With its clutch location, waking up 15 minutes before class isn’t just possible — it’s a lifestyle.
LUKE CHEN/DIRECTOR OF ONLINE PROJECTS
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