After being escorted by Univer-sity Police on a silent, illuminated walk from LaCava to the Fenway Skybox, the participants enjoyed refreshments and entertainment on Lower Campus. Bentley student Desiree Daniels read her own poetry and was a wonderful example of the blos-soming creativity taking place at Bentley. For the eighth year, we wel-comed two-time Cambridge Po-etry Award winner of Female Slam Poet of the Year, Lani Radack. She shared her own sobering experiences with do-mestic violence, and read us some of her award winning po-ems. Some were humorous and some of were dramatic, but all of which were striking for everyone in attendance. The Women’s Center is very grateful to everyone who partici-pated to make TBTN a success. It is important that we think about these victims not only once a year, but every day. Stop by the Women’s Center to learn how you can do more, such as being crisis trained to hold office hours with us in the fall.

By Grace Karon A woman walks alone down a dark, deserted street. With every shadow she sees, and every sound she hears, her pounding heart flutters and skips a beat. She hurries her pace as she sees her destination become closer. She is almost there. She reaches the front door, goes inside, collects herself, and moves on forgetting, at least for tonight, the grip-ping fear that momentarily enveloped her life. This scene could have oc-curred anywhere last night, last year, or even 100 years ago. (takebackthenight.org)

Women constantly face the anxiety of walking alone at night, and that is the origin of Take Back the Night. TBTN was held this year on April 5th, co-sponsored by Alpha Phi. Members of the

Bentley Com-munity met in the Women’s Center to share stor ies and dedicate a mo-ment to loved ones who have suffered at the hand of domes-tic abuse, ex-perienced the fear of being attacked, or ever felt alone.

Take Back the Night

Inside this issue:

New Books! 2

Waltham Fields 2

Preview: Hakuna Matata 3

Saluting our Seniors! 3

Calling All Alumni! 4

The White Ribbon

Campaign

4

Consent Day 2011 5

Farewell Dr. Yorkis 6

Relationship Quiz 7

Announcements/

Contact Information

8

Bentley University

Women’s Center Newsletter

Upcoming Dates:

Hakuna Matata:

April 28th

Last General

Meeting: May 2nd

General Meetings:

Mondays 2:10pm-

3:25pm

MARCH & APRIL 2011 WOMEN’’S CENTER NEWSLETTER

5. Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M.:

Audrey Hepburn, Break-

fast at Tiffany’s, and the

Dawn of the American

Woman by Sam Wasson

We will be adding over 100

new books to the center in

Fall 2011, so suggestions

are welcome!

The food will grow throughout the next few months and will be donated to emergency food programs in the area or sold to local schools in the fall. For more in-f o r m a t i o n about the farm, visit:

www.communityfarms.org

By Katrina DeFrancesco

This April, The Women’s

Center strayed from our typi-

cal community service pro-

jects and decided to get

down and dirty. By planting,

of course! Waltham Fields Community Farm is

a non-profit organization that supports farm-

land preservation, hunger relief, and education

about where exactly our food comes from.

Our ten volunteers planted over 6000 beets in our three hours on the farm!

Waltham Fields

3. The Dorm Room

Diet by Daphne Oz

4. The Splendor of

Silence by Indu

Sundaresan

Our New Books By Kathryn Burgner

1. Angry Housewives

Eating Bon Bons by

Lorna Landvik

2. Words that Matter

by Oprah Winfrey

Page 2 WOMEN’S CENTER NEWSLETTER

Please send all book suggestions

or donation inquires

to Kathryn Burgner:

burgner_kath@bentley.edu

Preview: Hakuna Matata

Page 3 WOMEN’S CENTER NEWSLETTER

Saluting Our Seniors!

By Grace Karon

Stressed out about finals? Group projects getting you down? Join the Women’s Center on Thursday, May

28th at 8:30pm for our annual spring relaxa-

tion event, “Hakuna Matata” in the Blue

Line (formerly the Backstage).

We will have an escapist paradise set up

with a yoga class, therapeutic arts and crafts,

and lots of healthy snacks and treats! Take a

breather, take a break, & take a moment for

yourself. Join us- It means no worries! *Please bring your own mat or towel for participa-

tion in yoga!

By Courtney Smigiel One of the golden periods in the lives of students are the graduation years. To make these memo-ries even more special, for our four graduating seniors, Gillian Cowin, Meredith Davis, Edith Kwok, and Malorie Morrison, we are honoring them in a potluck get-together at our last general meeting of the semester. During this time, we have invited for these four women to paint and leave their handprints, names, and graduation years on one of the walls in our Center. These handprints will replace the glass-block-painting tradition that used to oc-cur with each graduating senior class. Although the glass blocks are still displayed on shelving units throughout the Center, we are trying something different in our new space.

Edith Kwok

(Vice President of PR/Media ’08, Secretary ’09, President ‘10) Meredith Davis (Vice President of RRR ‘08, VP of Prgram-ming ‘09, Co-Chair ‘10) Malorie Morrison

(Vagina Monologues Participant) Gillian Cowin

(Vagina Monologues Director ‘11) *All seniors also held office hours Although we are very upset to lose such a wonderful group of women, we are excited for them to begin new chapters in their lives. We wish you the best of luck, ladies. We appreci-ate the contributions you have made to the Women’s Center over the years and hope to keep in touch.

We are currently updating

our alumni database! If

you have any names and

email addresses for

alumni, then we would

love to add them to our mailing list!

Despite how recently or long ago you

were part of the women’s center, we

would love to keep you and your fel-

low alumni updated on the events,

membership, and other details of the

center!

All names and email addresses can be sent to:

Burgner_kath@bentley.edu

(VP of Resource, Referral, &

Recruitment)

We very much appreciate the

help with looking into the his-

tory of the Center’s past!

Thank you!

Calling All Alumni...

or stand idly by watching cases of domestic abuse oc-cur. At Bentley, we wanted to incor-porate this campaign in such a manner that all people (rather than one sex) were equal. We know that relationship violence occurs with men and women. Overall, several members of the Bentley community have taken the pledge, which relates to all relationships (dating, friendship, family, group, roommates, etc.) and all forms of relationship vio-lence (from harassment through physical abuse). Along with taking this pledge, people signed a White Ribbon Campaign poster, which will later be hung in the Student Center as a reminder for all. Participants were given a white ribbon to wear, magnets to hang up, and information on the pledge, different forms of rela-tionship violence, and on cam-

pus resources. The White Ribbon Cam-paign was met with an over-whelmingly positive re-

sponse from our community. The campaign was signed by over 225 students on the first day alone. NERV, with material spon-sored by Earl Avery’s office, had to re-order materials before the month was done. Due to this, NERV is hoping, with the support of its supporters, to continue this campaign for future students to take part in annually.

The White Ribbon Campaign

By Lisa Landry

This semester, members of the Women’s Center joined the creation of an on-campus initiative to raise awareness, decrease occur-rences, and improve the response and support on campus for relationship vio-lence issues. NERV (Now End Relationship Violence) consists of several mem-bers of the Bentley commu-nity, including faculty, staff & students. Throughout the month of April, NERV, supported by The Women’s Center, CSD, and the MCC, launched The First Annual Bentley White Ribbon Campaign. The White Ribbon Campaign is a concept that began in Canada during October, the month for raising awareness of domestic violence. As a part of this campaign, men take a pledge not to commit

Page 4 WOMEN’’S CENTER NEWSLETTER

College women are most at risk for sexual assault than any other age group, and the majority of college rape survivors, 90%, know their attackers. So what is consent? It is about open and respectful com-munication. What are your per-

sonal boundaries? What are your partner’s? Often we do not ap-preciate how much miscommuni-cation can occur when people make assumptions about what others want or expect. We misin-terpret people’s feelings or make judgments without knowing the full story. The best way to avoid misunderstandings is to be ex-pressive and explicit about what

you do – and do not – want, what you like, and what you dislike. It’s about making sure you each understand the other’s feelings and respect them before moving forward. And it’s about commu-nicating about these topics again and again, not assuming that what has occurred or been discussed previously means there is no need to repeat the dis-cussion or ask for a response. Consent is also about being

By Traci Abbott, Ph.D.

Co-Advisor

On April 7th, The Bentley

Women’s Center, along with

22 other organizations, par-

ticipated at the third annual

Consent Day, sponsored by

the Center for Health and

Wellness, Student Activities,

and Residence Life. Mem-

bers of the Women’s Center

helped plan the event,

where a record 537 stu-

dents attended in addition to

the over 60 volunteers who

staffed the tables. The

Women’s Center ran its al-

ways popular roulette wheel

game, and through games,

prizes, t-shirts, and upbeat

songs, the event is able to

engage students in an oth-

erwise tricky and sometimes

disheartening subject, as

noted by the tagline on its

flipbook: “Bentley Stands

Up Against Sexual Assault.”

We all, as the flipbook states, have the right to live, work, and socialize in a “respectful and safe envi-ronment.” Consent Day is

about emphasizing the right way to interact with each other so that we can stop sexual misconduct, defined as rape, attempted rape, attempted sexual assault, unwanted touching or grop-ing, stalking (including cyber-stalking), and harassment.

respectful when people can’t or won’t communicate. If you are un-sure what your partner wants or are getting mixed signals, then stop. If it’s not a mutual decision, it’s not mutual. Consent means doing what you both want, when you both want to do it. Lack of con-

sent occurs when someone cannot consent, such as when they are drunk, high, or otherwise incapaci-tated. In those cases, the Consent Day flipbook advises, “Why take the risk?”

There are many resources on

campus, including the Women’s

Center, to remind us what consent

is and isn’t. The sponsors of Con-

sent Day have put together a useful

and comprehensive resource, the

Consent Day flipbook. The

Women’s Center can also direct

you to campus resources like The

Center for Health & Wellness,

Counseling & Student Develop-

ment, Residence Life, and Campus

Police, as well as area resources,

if you or a friend has been a victim

of sexual misconduct or attempted

sexual misconduct. The Women’s

Center is proud to be part of such a

successful event on such an impor-

tant topic!

Consent Day 2011

Page 5 WOMEN’’S CENTER NEWSLETTER

Consent Day Flipbook

http://www.flipdocs.com/

showbook.aspx?

ID=10002942_403775.

Thank You to Dr. Kathleen Yorkis!

Dr. Kathleen Yorkis has made tremendous contributions to the Bentley Women’s Center in her role as Vice President for Student Affairs. We are very thankful for her help and hard work to promote women’s initiatives to the Bentley community. We wish her the best of luck in her retirement.

Page 6 WOMEN’’S CENTER NEWSLETTER

Are you in an Unhealthy Relationship?

Page 7 WOMEN’’S CENTER NEWSLETTER

By Peter C. Forkner, Ph.D. Bentley CSD Counselor/NERV Member We see them all the time. On television. In movies. Even in our own friendships and families. Never-theless, it can sometimes be difficult to identify when we are the one in the unhealthy relationship. A healthy relationship is one that is caring and enriching. People in healthy relationships report feeling confident, comfortable and emotionally supported. In contrast, unhealthy relationships are emotionally consuming, manipulative, and abusive. People in unhealthy relationships report arguing frequently or feel that their opinions are often ignored or dismissed. It’s not that people in healthy relationships don’t argue – in fact, it is quite normal to have disagreements with all people in your life from time to time. However, people in healthy relationships can respectfully listen to each other and resolve these dis-agreements through positive communication that leaves both parties feeling good. Overall, being in an unhealthy relationship is exhausting and stressful and can have a major negative impact on other as-pects of your life including school, work, and other relationships. Although we often only think of romantic relationships when using the term “unhealthy relationship,” it is important to realize that ALL types of relationships can be unhealthy including friend, family, and work. If you are in an unhealthy relationship or know of someone who is, please seek (or recommend seeking) help from a trusted friend, family member, or possibly a counseling professional.

Please take the quiz below to help identify whether you might be in an unhealthy relationship. Answer YES or NO to the following questions: Are you in a relationship in which the other person ever:

Demands to read your text messages or emails? Accesses your accounts (email, Facebook, etc.) without your consent?

Nags or forces you to be sexual when you don’t want to be?

Becomes physically rough with you (push, shove, grab, restrain) or physically threatens or intimidates you?

Blames all arguments and problems on you or excuses his/her behavior because he/she was drunk?

Tells you to “shut up” or calls you names?

Tells you what you can/cannot wear or with whom you can/cannot hang out?

Manipulates you to make you feel like you must stay in the relationship (e.g., threatens self-harm, makes you feel sorry for him/her)?

Ignores you or withholds attention, affection, or sex to punish you?

Are you in a relationship in which you ever:

Feel tied down or feel like you need to constantly “check in?”

Feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain issues so the other person won’t get mad?

Find yourself not talking to friends/family about the other person’s behavior for fear that they will disap-prove of him/her?

Find yourself worrying or obsessing about how to please the other person and keep him/her happy?

Find yourself avoiding friends or family in order to keep the other person happy?

If you answered YES to ANY of the previous questions, this is an indication that you may be in an un-healthy relationship. These relationships can be difficult to fix or extricate yourself from and, as such, it

is in your best interest to discuss it with friends, family, or a counseling professional.

Our Co-Advisor, Stephanie Kendall, welcomed the birth

of her twins on February 25, 2011. Their names are

Daniel and Elise!

Last general meeting will be on Monday, May 2nd at

2:10pm in the Center. (The seniors will be painting

handprints and it will be a potluck late lunch.) New

members are welcome!

Keep your eyes open for our first General Meeting, the

Breast Cancer Walk, & our Fall volunteer events!

Congratulations to our co-advisor, Traci Abbott, for be-

ing nominated for the Advisor of the Year Falcon Award!

Good luck on Finals and have a wonderful Summer!

Announcements

Our Mission

Statement

“To Promote and enhance the

academic

achievements,

professional

performance, and personal

development of women and

men at Bentley by striving to

create a more

inclusive and

supportive

environment by

encouraging

understanding and accep-

tance among a diverse

community of men and

women.”

Bentley University Women’s Center

We’re on the Web!

(781)-891-3112 LaCava 120 Bentley University LAC 120 175 Forest Street Waltham, MA 02452

Email: GA_Womens_Center@bentley.edu

Follow us on Twitter! @BENTwomencenter

Follow us on Facebook! The Bentley Women’s Center

Please contact the

Newsletter Editor/

VP of RRR:

Kathryn Burgner

with any feedback,

interest, or ques-

tions regarding

this newsletter.

Courtney Smigiel, President Katrina DeFrancesco, Executive Vice President

Kathryn Burgner, VP of Resources, Referral, & Recruitment Grace Karon, VP of Programming

Olivia LeClair, VP of PR/Media

Ashley King, VP of Production Laura Hansen, Secretary

Christine Malloy, Treasurer Logan Michaud, Webmaster

Lisa Landry, Awareness & Action Committee Chair