8/18/2019 Baby Blanket Joseph Arnone Monologue

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WHIM: DEAR LORD! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scream like that but damn,

that is one ugly baby right there. I’m sorry but truthfully, that baby scared me half to

death! Cover it up or some shit. You cannot be walking that baby around out here in the park.

This park is for serenity. You’re gonna kill somebody girl, DAMN!

Whoever said all babies are beautiful was lying. That baby looks like it’s got a football head

like Stewie from Family Guy. It’s not even a case of “so ugly the baby’s cute.” There is

nothing going on there. Your baby is like a cross breed between Igor and an alien species

from the planet UGLY AS FUCK.

Mam?! Hey Mam?! I don’t mean to disturb your jog but honestly, look at that baby right

there and- Okay? You see? (to jogger) Thank you, go back to your jogging.

Oh hey, I didn’t mean to make you start crying…wait, maybe that was mean. It was mean…

but not as MEAN as that ugly ass baby you’re strolling around in this park. Here, take my

coat and cover it up before you go to jail for murder. Almost gave two people heart attackson the same day in the same park! Damn…