Avoiding the Slippery

Slope

“Love is cursed by monogamy…”

Kanye West, No church in the wild

“I enjoy sex as much as Joe Namath, only I do it with one

girl.” Roger Staubach

(best quarterback ever. Period)

Secret Monsters

Six Factors

1. Selfish.

“I did not think about consequences” is a common

response of unfaithful leaders.

2. Fantasies.

While not every fantasy results in infidelity, you would

be hard pressed to find infidelity that was not preceded by fantasy.

3. Bored/lack of clear purpose.

Many leaders deal with the following reality: Periods of high stress and busyness, followed by periods of

doing NOTHING. It’s no surprise to know that the day that people watch

more porn is on Sunday.

4. Risk taking.

A CEO, an owner of a company, a teacher, a clergy person, are usually

good at what they do. That elicits admiration from followers, employees, members, that admire the “persona,”

but not the person.

5. Social media.

Infidelity used to be a male problem, more than a

woman’s. That is changing.

6. Pride and low self-esteem.

The combination is explosive. Many leaders have unresolved

issues from the past that affect the way they see themselves, almost craving affection and attention.

“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't

believe the kids should be given homework”

Bill Cosby

Three Dangerous Strategies

1. Alienation/Secrecy

a. We want to continue doing what we are doing.

b. We think by hiding it from people we are hiding it from

God.

c. Keeping it a secret leads to dualism, and that sometimes is

preferred to dealing with the truth.

d. We worry about what people will say about us if they found out.

2. Compartmentalization

a. We have been deceived into thinking that there are "secular" and

"spiritual" areas.

b. We believe that what we do in one area does not affect other areas of

our lives.

c. We fail to consider the consequences.

3. Rationalization

a. I deserve this.

b. I'm not getting at home what I should.

c. I'm always taking care of others. Now it’s time to take care

of me.

d. I married the wrong person.

Five Action Steps

1. Recognize personal frailty and family

history.

2. List consequences as visible reminders.

3. Tell somebody. On a consistent basis.

Accountability partner

a. Same sex

b. Discreet

c. Mature spiritually

d. Available

4. Be aware of traps right after mountain

top experiences.

5. Focus on your marriage first.