1

2

"Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision"

was created by Glenda Staten in 2012.

Copyright 2012 by Glenda Staten, North Carolina

Printed in the United States of America

3

Introduction

I joined the Army at an early age, and my military experiences made a profound impact on the way I live my life. I worked with many wonderful people from different cultures and it enriched my life in many ways. I learned to respect everyone, have compassion and empathy for all people, and always move forward.

Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision is a guide designed to help you make positive decisions, and live a more responsible life.

As you get to know yourself better, and focus on your purpose in life, I hope you learn that you are the world’s greatest gift. Always remember that your purpose in life is to make the world a better place regardless of which path you take.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Know Yourself

Chapter 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Strength

Chapter 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Be Open to Change

Chapter 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Set Goals

Chapter 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Friendship

Chapter 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bullying

4

Chapter 1

Know Yourself

I believe that it is extremely important to know who you are. When you know who you are, you will make better decisions because you are aware of your likes and dislikes.

You are the world’s greatest gift, and you should always represent yourself with pride and dignity. You can have fun, enjoy life, and make responsible choices while maintaining your character.

Focus on being yourself instead of trying to be someone else. You are unique and you are special. Allow yourself to be the amazing individual that you are.

Sometimes we focus on what other people think and we allow their way of thinking to become our way of thinking. Think for yourself, get to know people for yourself; do not let others tell you how to act, who to like, and what to do. Use your own mind.

Do not let the past control you. Figure out how to reconcile your past in a positive way. This doesn’t mean that you will forget your past; it simply means that you will not allow it to determine your future in a negative way.

Stop talking about your problems and find positive resolutions for them. You cannot continue to be confused and angry about the same issues. Seeking help from a qualified, honest professional is an option to help you make peace with your past. When you are centered and focused, you will handle your issues better.

Set the example instead of caving in to peer pressure. Learn to be a positive leader instead of a negative follower. Respect yourself and respect others. Stop associating with people who do not respect you. If you want to emulate someone, find someone who is doing positive things.

If you are a pessimist, there are many things you can do to become an optimist.

Read positive books, play sports, join organizations, hang with positive people, listen to good music, and exercise to keep you focused in a positive direction.

Believe in yourself, get motivated, and stay dedicated to improving your life!

5

Know Yourself

Questions

Ask yourself the following questions to get to know yourself better:

• What do you like about yourself?

• What do you dislike about yourself?

• What can you change about yourself?

• If you can’t change something about yourself, are you willing to make

peace with the issue?

• Are you willing to put in the work it will take to make the necessary

changes?

• Are you mentally free from a negative past or do you carry the past with

you every day?

• How will you resolve your past in a positive way?

• Are you an optimist or a pessimist? If you are a pessimist, are you willing

to work on becoming an optimist?

• How will you work on becoming an optimist?

• Do you believe that being a positive person will help you improve your

life?

NOTES

6

Chapter 2

Strength

You will need strength as you travel your life’s journey. Every day will not be a good day, but you must hang in there because giving up is not an option!

Prepare your mind to deal with the ups, downs, twists, and turns in life. If you have a solid foundation, do not stray from it because a solid foundation will be critical when you make decisions in your life.

If you do not have a solid foundation, spend time with people who know how to deal with life’s issues positively. Read successful stories about people who made it through difficult times and learn from their struggles.

When you are dealing with issues, do not try to resolve them with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, revenge or anger because those activities will only create additional struggles in your life. Do not lose hope. Find positive, healthy ways to deal with your issues. For example, talk to a trusted friend, your parents, or a counselor.

If something is convenient or easy, it doesn’t mean that it is right for you. Do not settle for the easy way of doing things. Challenge yourself because challenges will make you stronger, help you gain mental strength, and build your character.

Always use your full potential in life because you do not have any reason to give less than 100 percent.

Do not make hasty decisions, and do not make decisions when you are angry.

Learn to make logical decisions instead of emotional decisions. Emotional decisions are not made with a clear mind because you’re emotionally attached to the issue. Take your time and figure out how to separate your emotional thoughts from your logical thoughts. Look at the issue from every angle.

When you do not make the right decisions, remember that mistakes are a part of life. It is extremely important to learn from your mistakes instead of being consumed by them or by making the same mistakes over and over again.

Take everything you learn from a bad situation and use it to improve your life. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and allow yourself to flourish the way you were meant to. When you make wise decisions, you can live a less stressful, productive, and happy life.

7

Strength

Questions

• Do you let your friends make your decisions for you? Why or why not?

• What are your strengths?

• What are your weaknesses?

• Are you willing to turn your weaknesses into strengths? If so, what will you

do to make changes?

• Do you think you can learn from your mistakes instead of making the

same mistakes over and over again?

NOTES

8

Chapter 3

Be Open to Change

Life is about growing, learning and changing. Invest in the process of change and believe that things will get better because you will make them better. You must be open to change and you must be willing to make changes. Evaluate yourself, determine the changes you need to make, and start making them.

Even though making changes can be difficult, do not be afraid to change. You must be honest with yourself. When you pretend that everything is okay, your issues will not get resolved. Some of the changes you resist the most may be the most important changes you need to make.

If there is anything preventing you from living a balanced and happy life, get rid of it. If you are doing anything to block your happiness, stop it! You are special and you have something important to contribute to society!

Your way of thinking is not always correct - it is simply your way of thinking. You must be willing to listen to constructive advice. Do not get defensive when someone is giving you helpful, healthy advice. Learn to distinguish between constructive advice and destructive advice.

You can avoid unnecessary consequences if you do not make the same mistakes other people have made. Regardless of how many times you’ve done the wrong thing, it only takes one moment to start doing the right thing.

You can control your thoughts and your actions. When you do not have control over an issue, do not let the issue control you. There are some things you simply may have to accept and move on.

When you wake up every morning, start thinking positive thoughts and learn to be positive every day.

9

Be Open to Change

Questions

• Are you open to change?

• Do you think that you need to make changes in your life? If so what

changes do you need to make and how will you make them?

• Do you believe you can learn from other peoples’ mistakes or do you think

you need to make the same mistakes others make before you learn?

• Do you have more negative thoughts than positive thoughts?

• What will you do to start having more positive thoughts?

• Do you have bad habits that are preventing you from growing?

• What changes will you make to correct your bad habits?

NOTES

10

Chapter 4

Set Goals

Set goals for your life, develop a plan to implement your goals, and take action to reach your goals. Sometimes it may be necessary to have alternate plans if your initial plan does not work.

Start working on being independent early in life. Once you become an adult, you are responsible for yourself unless there are medical issues involved.

I think it is important to get a good education because your education will help you reach your goals. If you get distracted, rejected, or derailed along the way, do not give up.

You can accomplish great things as long as you maintain discipline, work hard and do your best even if you don't get the support you want. Go after your goals with vigor and enthusiasm. Think positive and take positive action.

Try to stay out of situations that you are not able to handle financially or emotionally. Sometimes you may think you can handle situations financially and emotionally, but if you are in these situations and they are too much to handle, you must have the courage to make wise changes.

Improve your life by staying motivated, invigorated and dedicated!

11

Set Goals

Questions

• How do you plan to accomplish your goals?

• Are you willing to work hard to accomplish your goals?

• What will you do if your goals are not supported by someone you care

about?

• Do you believe that you have a purpose in life?

• What is your purpose in life?

• If you do not have a purpose in life, are you willing to figure out what your

purpose in life is?

NOTES

12

Chapter 5

Friendship

Choose positive friends because it is important to have positive support. Some of your friends may provide good advice, and some of them may not provide good ad-vice. If you listen to your friends’ advice, you will deal with the consequences—not your friends, so be careful.

Evaluate your friendship, and determine if it affects you positivity or negatively. If you have friends who are rude and constantly criticize you instead of uplifting you, get different friends.

Avoid negative people when you can. If you must deal with people who are negative, stay true to your principles, and do not allow their negativity to adversely affect you. If you have a disagreement with someone, learn how to disagree intelligently.

Friendship

Questions

• Do your friends value you? Are they rude to you?

• Do your friendships uplift you?

• Are you drained from your friendships?

• Are you critical of your friends, or are they critical of you?

• Are you willing to find new friends if you need to?

• What kind of friend are you? How can you be a better friend?

NOTES

13

Chapter 6

Bullying

Bullying should never be tolerated anywhere. If you are aware of a situation where someone is getting bullied, be careful, be wise, and report the situation to the proper authorities. People are bullied for so many reasons, but they should not be bullied for any reason.

Many people hurt themselves when they are bullied, and this is devastating. If you are being bullied, do not give up; seek help from your parents, responsible adults or professionals. You have the right to live a bully-free life.

If you are a bully, stop bullying people now. There is no reason to be a bully. If you do not like what someone does, it doesn’t give you the right to bully them. If you are envious of someone, it doesn’t give you the right to bully them.

You must learn to respect others and respect yourself. If you are a bully, evaluate your issues, talk to responsible adults, and get help.

You must have compassion and empathy for everyone. Find ways to help others instead of hurting them. You will be happier and your life will be more fulfilled.

This is your life and you are not here to please others! Keep growing and learning. Opinions are not facts; they are simply opinions. You must find a positive way to deal with negativity and you must find your mental toughness.

When a relationship doesn’t work out, do not harm yourself. Get help so you can move forward in a positive and healthy way.

Learn to be confident without being egoistical. Use positive words when you talk because there is power in positivity.

14

Bullying

Questions

• Are you a bully?

• If you are a bully, will you stop being a bully?

• If you feel you cannot stop being a bully, will you get help?

• Do you know someone who is being bullied? If so, what steps will you take

about the situation?

• Are you being bullied? If the answer is yes, are you getting help from

responsible people such as your parents, counselors, teachers, or the

proper authorities?

NOTES

15

Helpful Resources

National Institute of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center http://www.pacer.org/bullying

American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (ASPCC) (800) 422-4453 http://americanspcc.org

National Hope Line Network 1-800-442-4673 http://hopeline.com

Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision: A Guide for Living a Responsible Life and Making Positive

Decisions

by Glenda Staten

is published by Gossamer Wings Publications

Are you a writer, poet, author of devotional or inspirational articles, children’s author, writer of short stories, or motivational books? We have been creating

eBooks and digital publications since 2006, and we are now offering our publishing services to you at Gossamer Wings Publications. Please visit

Gossamer Wings Publications, or contact us for more details at GossamerWingsPublications@hotmail.com

16

Glenda Staten grew up in Georgia. She enlisted in the

Army and worked for numerous organizations in the United States and abroad before retiring in 2004. While Glenda was assigned to The National Defense University in Washington, DC, she was selected for the Senior Non-commissioned Officer in Charge position for the Vice Chief of Staff of the Army at the Pentagon, and she completed her military career while assigned to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Personnel Administration and Services Division at the Pentagon.

Glenda created the guide, Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision to help everyone make positive decisions and live a responsible life. She also created the Positivity 4 Ever mini magazine to promote positivity.

Glenda received numerous awards while in the military including two Defense Meritorious Service Medals, the Meritorious Service Medal, and the Joint Service Commendation Medal. She completed her Master’s Degree in Management from City University of Seattle in Bellevue, Washington.

She enjoys helping others by contributing to local and national charities.

Visit Glenda at http://avoidacollision.com and http://positivity4ever.com