Autism and the Grandparent Connection
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Transcript of Autism and the Grandparent Connection
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Autism and the GrandparentAutism and the GrandparentConnectionConnection
The Role of a LifetimeThe Role of a Lifetime
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Participants will:Participants will:• Understand Understand whywhy grandparents play a significant grandparents play a significant
role in the health and well being of the family of a role in the health and well being of the family of a child with autismchild with autism
• Understand practical ways that helpUnderstand practical ways that help
• Identify some unhelpful responsesIdentify some unhelpful responses
• Be inspired and motivated to beBe inspired and motivated to be
the best you can be for your familythe best you can be for your family
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E + R = OE + R = O
EEvent + vent + RResponse = esponse = OOutcomeutcome
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What are the EVENTS?What are the EVENTS?
Autism DiagnosisAutism Diagnosis
Family responseFamily responseTreatment Treatment decisions decisions
BehaviourBehaviour
SchoolSchool
DecisionsDecisions
Waiting listsWaiting lists
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The only thing we can The only thing we can control…control…
EventEvent + +
ResponseResponse = = OutcomeOutcome
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We We cancan choose: choose:
Our Our thoughtsthoughts
Our Our behaviourbehaviour
Our Our dreams and imagesdreams and images
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You must take personal You must take personal responsibility . You cannot responsibility . You cannot change the circumstances, change the circumstances,
the seasons, or the wind, but the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. you can change yourself.
Jim RohnJim Rohn
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The potential you hold is life The potential you hold is life changingchanging
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The Role of Grandparents:The Role of Grandparents:
Roots to a child - a past and a futureRoots to a child - a past and a future
Nurture emotional health and well Nurture emotional health and well being in children with autism and their being in children with autism and their siblingssiblings
Role model Role model
Physical presencePhysical presence
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The Solution…The Solution…
Maintain Optimism
Build your knowledge, credibility and skills
Build relationships
Find the Gift
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““Grandparents can be role models Grandparents can be role models about areas that may not be about areas that may not be significant to young children significant to young children directly but that can teach them directly but that can teach them about patience and courage when about patience and courage when we are ill, or handicapped by we are ill, or handicapped by problems of aging. Our attitudes problems of aging. Our attitudes toward retirement, marriage, toward retirement, marriage, recreation, even our feelings about recreation, even our feelings about death and dying may make much death and dying may make much more of an impression than we more of an impression than we realizerealize.. Eda LeShan Eda LeShan
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What Does NOT Help?What Does NOT Help?
Questioning the diagnosis and insisting on Questioning the diagnosis and insisting on getting a second opinion getting a second opinion
Ignoring attempts to explain the diagnosis Ignoring attempts to explain the diagnosis and behaviourand behaviour
Dismissing the explanation provided by Dismissing the explanation provided by parents or doctors parents or doctors
BlameBlame
Insisting on certain treatments, therapy or Insisting on certain treatments, therapy or parenting methodsparenting methods
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What Does NOT Help?What Does NOT Help?
Information overloadInformation overload
Concentrating your attention on the Concentrating your attention on the grandchild that does not have autismgrandchild that does not have autism
Emotional distanceEmotional distance
Overstepping boundariesOverstepping boundaries
Playing non-interference: “We do not want Playing non-interference: “We do not want to meddle.” to meddle.”
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““BEING THERE”BEING THERE”Affirm and love your adult childAffirm and love your adult child
Listening to what is said and what is Listening to what is said and what is notnot said said
Accepting your grandchild “as is”Accepting your grandchild “as is”
Active ListeningActive Listening
Keep the disability in perspectiveKeep the disability in perspective
Be positive and hopeful Be positive and hopeful
Adhere to the limits and schedules established by your Adhere to the limits and schedules established by your children children
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““Doing”Doing”Provide your children with respite Provide your children with respite opportunitiesopportunities
Play with your grandchildrenPlay with your grandchildren
Spend time with the siblings of the Spend time with the siblings of the exceptional childexceptional child
Encourage your grandchild’s Encourage your grandchild’s independenceindependence
Read with your grandchildRead with your grandchild
Share special InterestsShare special Interests
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What attitude are you modeling?What attitude are you modeling?
Is your grandchild learning anger? Is your grandchild learning anger? Hostility? Resentment? Fear? Blame?Hostility? Resentment? Fear? Blame?
OROR
Is your grandchild learning hope? Is your grandchild learning hope? Persistence? Faith? Optimism? Persistence? Faith? Optimism?
Collaboration?Collaboration?
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““If we make our goal to live a life of If we make our goal to live a life of compassion and unconditional compassion and unconditional love, then the world will indeed love, then the world will indeed become a garden where all kinds become a garden where all kinds of flowers can bloom and grow.”of flowers can bloom and grow.”
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
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Thriving Day by DayThriving Day by Day
Reduce the amount of talkingReduce the amount of talking
Reframe questions into statementsReframe questions into statements
The gift of RitualsThe gift of Rituals
Pictures, lists and diagrams are far more Pictures, lists and diagrams are far more meaningful to most people with autism meaningful to most people with autism than are wordsthan are words
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Small but MIGHTY Tools!Small but MIGHTY Tools!List the sequential steps of the task, List the sequential steps of the task, providing visual cues to each stepproviding visual cues to each step
Visual schedules: pictures, writtenVisual schedules: pictures, written
Clear beginning and ending to tasksClear beginning and ending to tasks
Clear visual rules and regulationsClear visual rules and regulations
Lists, written sequences, step by stepLists, written sequences, step by step
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Small but MIGHTY Tools!Small but MIGHTY Tools!
Keep instruction systematic and direct Keep instruction systematic and direct
Support what you say with a picture or Support what you say with a picture or written word written word
Offer choices visually (only a few)Offer choices visually (only a few)
Stop talking so much!Stop talking so much!
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Time TimerTime Timer
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Processing Problems
Executive Dysfunction
Sensory Problems
Imitation Deficits
Weak Central
Coherence
Mind Blindedness
Language Problems
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Surviving Surviving
Meltdowns and Meltdowns and
TantrumsTantrums
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Is it any wonder that our Is it any wonder that our children with autism children with autism
OVER REACT?OVER REACT?
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Behaviour is CommunicationBehaviour is Communication
I need your attention. I need your attention.
I need something tangible.I need something tangible.
I need to change something. I need to change something.
I need to escape or avoid I need to escape or avoid something. something.
I need to self regulate.I need to self regulate.
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Weathering the StormWeathering the Storm
1.1. Stay completely calm.Stay completely calm.
2.2. Nix any notion that the child is a brat. Nix any notion that the child is a brat.
3.3. No discussion.No discussion.
4.4. Wait. Breathe deeply.Wait. Breathe deeply.
5.5. Remind yourself that your own Remind yourself that your own competence is not in question.competence is not in question.
6.6. Calmly and safely remove him from the Calmly and safely remove him from the environment.environment.
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Self Regulation and Self Self Regulation and Self ManagementManagement
Teach HOW and WHEN to use:Teach HOW and WHEN to use:Stay Put boxStay Put boxSafe Place/safe personSafe Place/safe personTeach relaxation and belly Teach relaxation and belly
breathingbreathingYogaYogaThe Five Point ScaleThe Five Point Scale
MODEL SELF CONTROLMODEL SELF CONTROL
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DO NOT Take Away Visual DO NOT Take Away Visual Support!!Support!!
Helps to clarify expectationsHelps to clarify expectations
Provides ongoing organization and Provides ongoing organization and structurestructure
Decreases processing timeDecreases processing time
Decreases reliance on adult prompts and Decreases reliance on adult prompts and cuescues
Reduces anxietyReduces anxiety
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Through it all, Through it all,
REMEMBER…REMEMBER…
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What are we working What are we working towards?towards?
AutonomyAutonomyEvery task, every skill needs to be Every task, every skill needs to be
taught so that the student will complete taught so that the student will complete it as independently as possible.it as independently as possible.
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What happens when we…What happens when we…
Fail to fade promptsFail to fade prompts
Rescue individuals from struggleRescue individuals from struggle
Play helicopter parentPlay helicopter parent
Avoid personal responsibilityAvoid personal responsibility
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AutismAutism
++
Optimism, Joy, Hope Optimism, Joy, Hope ____________________________________________________________________
Self EsteemSelf Esteem
A rich journeyA rich journey
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Putting it in Perspective…Putting it in Perspective…
Child to Mom in response to whether to Child to Mom in response to whether to disclose his autism diagnosis: disclose his autism diagnosis:
“ “ You know mom, I am You know mom, I am so much MORE than so much MORE than
my autism.”my autism.”
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The potential you hold is life The potential you hold is life changingchanging
I wish you joy onI wish you joy on
the journey!the journey!
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Autism AspirationsAutism Aspirations
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