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Attachment in School Settings

10th July 2018

Kanu Patel

Training and Consultancy Manager

Family Action

2018

Building stronger families

Attachment in School Settings

Attachment in Schools SettingsAreas to explore

• Understanding attachment• Impact on learning• Conscience development and the

concept of shame• Strategies and Approaches

Attachment TheoryBasics

What do we know?

• Infants biologically driven to attach to caregivers• Attachment relationships provide security and safety• When child feels safe, they can explore and learn

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Attachment BehavioursImpact of stress

• Proximity – getting close• Separation protest - crying• Secure Base Effect – comfort and emotional regulation

These behaviours can be triggered by anxiety, fear or need for comfort:• Actual or threatened separation when child feels insecure• Something in the environment causes alarm• The carer rejects the child• The carer is psychologically unavailable to the child• The child feels tired or ill

Self: “I am good, lovable, wanted, worthwhile, competent”.

Caregivers, other people and relationships: “They are responsive to my needs, sensitive, caring and trustworthy.”

Life in general : “The world is safe, life is good” I can make mistakes and learn to problem solve

Core BeliefsSecure attachment

Emotional Regulation• As infants we are “co

regulated” by our carers.

• As toddlers we begin to “self regulate” and managefeelings ourselves.

• As children and adults wemove between “co –regulating” and “self regulating” all the time.

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Cycle of Attachment Insecure Baby at rest or

disassociatedBaby

experiences discomfort

or need

Baby protests –usually by

crying

Carer response

Ignore Abort Distort

Baby protests

more

Carer response escalates

Baby unable to

self regulate

Rage then apathy

Self:“I am bad, helpless, unwanted, worthless, unlovable.”

Caregivers, other people and relationships: “They are hurtful, insensitive, untrustworthy and can’t or won’t meet my needs. Other people always let me down in the end”

Life in general : “The world is unsafe, It’s best not to trust anything. Bad times follow good times”

Core BeliefsInsecure attachment

Behavioural strategies adopted by children who experience abuse

Children may try to get attention through being aggressive, loud, controlling, ‘silly’, clingy or risk taking.

Children who have experienced negative or abusive responses to their needs may withdraw and appear undemanding, unresponsive or be overly compliant.

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How can they cope in school?The school environment can pose many difficulties for children who have not had secure attachments in early life. They are expected to:

• form relationships with many different school staffand their peers

• share adult attention with other children in largeclasses

• ‘wait their turn’• deal with frustrations and stress• control their emotions• manage transitions between classes/activities• explore their environment.

Response to trauma in the school/classroomDefence Response

DEFENSIVE REACTIONS

FIGHT FLIGHT FREEZE FLOP FRIEND

The neurobiological impact of abuse.

`the impact of severe stress can leave an indelible imprint on the structure and function of the brain. Such abuse, it seems, induces a cascade of molecular and neurobiological effects that irreversibly alter neural development.’ Martin H. Teicher. Scars that won’t heal: the neurobiology of child abuse. Scientific American, March 2002. (p56) pp.54­61.

Scary or frightening feelings are suppressed, or muted, or transformed to be less threatening to the individual ­ Tension, disturbance, and disorganization occurs.

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Relationships are the key to change in behaviour

Executive functioning

Executive functions help us to focus, plan and control our impulses. All children will benefit from schools supporting the development of their executive functioning skills, as these processes are vitally important in helping children to learn and to problem solve.

Perplexing behaviour often makes sense

in the context of the environment the child grew up within

Kim Golding

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School Environment

Identify a young person who has the traits of insecurity

What needs to happen:• Before• During• After schoolTo help them to develop good executive functioning

School Environment

Any activities that help children learn how the boundaries of the day, week and year are arranged will support children to learn about passing time and provide predictability and structure which, in turn, provides a feeling of security for these learners

Parents need help to provide• child feels connection to carer, feels loved and

valued, experiences empathy for others. Caregiver regulates child’s emotions

Attunement

• discipline in response to child­ child experiences shame (in infants this is bodily experience of separateness from carer) Child learns feelings ofguilt

Limit Setting

• child feels supported and accepted, learns self regulation and consequences for others of their behaviour. Learn to regulate feelings and actions. Re­connected to carer.

Interactive Repair

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Child’s Internal Working ModelSTIRS

StressTrust and empathyImpulseRageShame

If children experience developmental harm, the child’s internal working model of the world changes and this will affect how they communicate and how they interpret other people’s communication.

One Brain­ Many Functions

Neo­cortex:Higher thinking skills

Limbic System: Emotions

Reptilian Brain: Instinct and survival

Vertical Integration

Vertical IntegrationNeo­Cortex ­ UpstairsDeciding and PlanningImpulse controlThinking about self and othersConscience

Limbic system and brain stem – DownstairsAnger, fearFight, flight, freezeBodily functions: breathing, blinking, heart rate etc

This part of the brain is ‘Under construction’ until our mid twenties

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Upstairs Downstairs – Vertical Integration

• Engage – don’t enrage

• Use it or lose it ­ practice giving choices, asking ‘What would you do?, helping children problem solve

• Move it or Lose it – when a child has lost touch with their thinking brain, help regain balance through physical movement

Amygdala – the highwayman

• Allows the ‘Downstairs’ brain to take over when itsenses danger

• Upstairs ‘Thinking’ brain is therefore not accessibleat times of fear or threat

When the brains automatic response is ALARM

• Brains become permanently on high alert.

• Stress chemicals ­ Adrenaline and Cortisol pump constantly around the body

• Children seem restless, hyperactive, unable to concentrate irritable

• For some children, the stress is overwhelming and they shut down – dissociated or frozen children

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Impact on Learning “The troubled child becomes the troublesome child”

States become traits. If a child is in a constant state of ‘dis-regulation’, the child becomes hyper-sensitive to stimuli.This involves a whole body response including regions of the brain which organise:• regulating arousal• vigilance and affect• behaviour irritability• locomotion• attention and sleep• the startle response• responses to threat e.g. aggression

Impact on LearningExecutive Functioning

• Impulse Control• Focussing Attention• Planning

See Centre for the Developing Child Harvard University

The Adolescent BrainStructural Changes

• Brain architecture changes to meet cognitive andemotional challenges

• Connections are again strengthened or eliminated –growth and pruning (similar to infants)

• Rise in Dopamine levels lead to ‘thrill seeking’ andrisk taking

• Part of the brain (amygdala) eliciting emotionalresponse is not well connected to the thinking part ofthe brain (frontal cortex) leading to an inability tomodulate the response

• Many parts of the brain are not fully mature. Nervesnot fully myelinated until the early 20s.

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The Adolescent BrainImpact of previous trauma and neglect

• Impulsive behaviour more apparent• Brains focus on survival not advanced thinking

(cortex)• May be emotionally immature in responses• May show delays in school and in social skills• Over develop regions of the brain affecting fear and

anxiety• Difficulty interpreting and identifying emotional

responses• More drawn to taking risks

Rupture and Repair

• Developmentally necessary stage (Horwath, 2007,Howe, 2005)

• Good enough parent – can’t be attuned all the time.• Child asserting autonomy and growing sense of

separateness.• Rupture to relationship is stressful and shame

inducing for infant – temporary separation.• Needs parent to reconnect and “repair” the

relationship, mediate shame and assist with normalconscience development

Differentiation of shame and guilt

Action

Reaction

ShameRe­attunement

Redirection/education

GUILT

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The Importance of Relationship

‘If relationships are where things developmentally can go wrong, then relationships are where they are most likely to be put right.’

Howe, D. (2005) Child Abuse and Neglect: Attachment, Development and Intervention Palgrave Macmillan Basingstoke

AttunementMeeting the child’s emotional intensity (positive or negative) on an energetic level, so as to connect with the child in their pain or their joy. Riding the same emotional energy contour. The child will experience this as a deep enlivening connection with the other.

Margot Sunderland 2009

Validation of how the child is experiencing the event

Recognition of how the child is experiencing the event, even if it’s very different to how you are experiencing it. Not trying to persuade the child out of having the feeling they are having. Rather affirming, understanding and recognising that s/he is feeling what s/he is feeling. Not just empathy, but finding the right words/ language of feeling/tone of voice to convey that empathy

Margot Sunderland 2009

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Containment of Feelings

Being able to stay thinking and feeling about a child’s intense feelings (e.g. rage, power plays, terror, distress) without deflecting into action, distraction, getting angry etc. At times this will mean being able to bear their unbearable pain. Also containment through clear structures, boundaries and carried through consequences. Otherwise a “limit deprived child”.

Margot Sunderland 2009

The secure base model

Caregiving dimensions that promote security and resilience

• AVAILABILITY ­ helping the child to trust “I matter, I am safe’. ‘I can explore and return for help’. ‘Other people can be trusted’.

• SENSITIVITY ­ helping the child to manage feelings andbehaviour ‘My feelings make sense and can be managed’. ‘Other people have thoughts and feelings’.

• ACCEPTANCE ­ building the child’s self esteem ‘I am acceptedand valued for who I am’. ‘I do not have to be perfect’.

• CO­OPERATION ­ helping the child to feel effective ­and be co­operative ‘I can make things happen within safe limits’. ‘I cancompromise and co­operate’.

• FAMILY MEMBERSHIP ­ helping the child to belong ‘I can belong comfortably to more than one family’.

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Practical IdeasSchool SettingsKey Adult/s physically and emotionally available

• Meet and greet at beginning of day• ‘Time in’ with trusted adult• Check in cards• Supports breaks from school – transitional

objects, ‘child in mind’, support transition points

Practical IdeasSchool Settings• Permission cards to go to a safe space – can be used by all

students

• Nurture through food and drinks• Physical activity to aid concentration by providing ‘brain breaks’ –

get to know limit of child’s task centred activity • Consistent approach from all staff, messages that school is a safe

place• Relational repair where adults have ‘got things wrong’• Home – school communication• Action plan for challenges

Life Space Interview• I – ‘Isolate’ young person, giving you both time to talk• E – Explore YP’s point of view• S – Share why you responded in the way you did• C – Connect their feelings to their behaviour• A – Explore alternative ways in which to manage

those feelings• P – Agree and develop plans• E – Enter back into living space

Ref: Budlong, Holden, Mooney

Therapeutic Crisis intervention

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Developing a Plan

• Do not offer solutions as the child needsto own the plan

• Do not interrupt the child’s thinkingprocess

Dealing with Blocks• Refusing to talk:

• Convey calm support with silence• Use reflective responses, concrete questions• Sanction silence as thinking time• Talk later

• Getting off the subject:• If a deeper concern, explore and relate to

incident• If avoidance, then focus on issue at hand

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© FAMILY ACTION 2018

Attachment in

Educational Settings

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© FAMILY ACTION 2018

What is attachment?

Attachment is a biologically driven process that ensures that babies and their primary caregivers develop a positive bond that endures over space and time and enables the child to survive and thrive.

We all have attachments, even as adults, and our earliest relationship experiences can set a pattern for how we interact with others over a lifetime.

A healthy and secure attachment will enable a baby to:

have their physical and emotional needs met

learn how to regulate their emotions

develop an ability to manage stress

develop empathy and conscience

develop self-worth

trust that others can meet their needs

feel safe enough to explore the world.

Children who are adopted or are living with a Special Guardian are likely to have experienced abuse and/or neglect with their first caregivers, meaning that they have not had the opportunity to develop secure attachments that make them feel safe.

Children may have experienced unresponsive, inappropriate, abusive or inconsistent care and they will have developed different ways of getting their needs met and keeping themselves as safe as possible in these circumstances.

These are sometimes referred to as ‘attachment difficulties’, but really these are just

strategies that the child has developed to deal with an unsafe environment.

How do different attachment strategies impact on pupils’ relationships at school?

Even when they are placed in a safe environment where their needs will be met, children cannot easily change their behaviour or how they think and feel. This is especially true when they experience any stressors in their environment or perceive any threat which could be real or not. Memories of past trauma can come into children’s minds at times when no actual threat is present.

Children may have developed a variety of behavioural strategies in response to abusive, inconsistent or neglectful care. Children may try to get attention through being aggressive, loud, controlling, ‘silly’, clingy or risk taking.

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© FAMILY ACTION 2018

Children who have experienced negative or abusive responses to their needs may withdraw and appear undemanding, unresponsive or be overly compliant.

The school environment can pose many difficulties for children who have not had secure attachments in early life. They are expected to:

form relationships with many different school staff and their peers

share adult attention with other children in large classes

‘wait their turn’

deal with frustrations and stress

control their emotions

manage transitions between classes/activities

explore their environment.

Some children will also have experienced what is termed ‘developmental trauma’.

Early traumatic experiences can impact on babies’ developing brains and their

responses to future stress. This means that children affected cannot deal with stress at all well and sometimes the smallest stressors can cause the child to be in a state of alarm.

Some developmental traumas such as foetal alcohol spectrum disorder can occur before birth and others such as attachment difficulties occur after the baby is born. If the brain is in a state of fear, the body responds through:

fight: aggression to protect themselves from a perceived threat

flight: running away

freeze: shutdown

flop: extreme bodily response where the child may collapse or faint

friend: attempt to get the perceived aggressor on their side.

This can, again, pose difficulties in a school environment. Unless children are feeling safe, their energy will be put into ‘holding themselves together’ in survival mode

rather than in exploring and using learning opportunities.

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© FAMILY ACTION 2018

How to help and support these children and

young people in school settings

Relationships

Children can learn new attachment strategies if they are given nurturing, calm, predictable and consistent care from those around them. Positive nurturing experiences in school can enhance the care that adopters and Special Guardians offer their children. Adults have to firstly realise that, rather than thinking the child deliberately ‘won’t do’, they actually ‘can’t do’.

Schools can offer children a small number of supportive adults who are consistent in offering the child a nurturing relationship which offers them a feeling of safety and emotional containment. For example, a key worker who can ‘check in’ with the child

on a daily basis and to whom the child is allowed to go when they feel anxious, stressed or upset can help to offer a safe base for the child within school.

Teachers and support staff can also help by considering what might be making the child behave in a ‘challenging’ way and then responding empathically. Logical

consequences for ‘misbehaviour’ that are given quickly and without anger are easier

for the child to accept. Adults need to ensure that the child still feels ‘connected’ and

that any rupture is quickly followed by relational repair.

Situations that help the child build relationships with a small group of their peers but are still monitored by an adult may help the child to develop more socially acceptable behaviour. For example, playing games, group activities and being given responsibilities in the class can help these children understand pro-social behaviours and enjoy being part of a group. Lego therapy uses task-centred work in small groups.

Environment

Stress about the environment can manifest itself in different ways (eg by becoming either withdrawn or by acting out). Some children may: experience sensory overload in noisy classrooms or other school environments; feel anxious at being separated from their parents or carers; find the normal changes during the school day difficult to negotiate (eg transitions between one class and another or one activity and another may provoke attention seeking (needing) behaviour).

Some children will not be able to regulate their emotions well and may be operating at a far younger developmental age (eg tantrum/crying like a younger child).

These children can benefit from predictable routines and repetition in terms of structure, and they may also benefit from access to a safe space and a safe adult to be with.

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© FAMILY ACTION 2018

If children can’t sit still then giving them either a brain break for physical activity or something they are allowed to fidget with may aid their concentration. (See also suggestions in the EMASS Toolkit section focusing on ASD and ADHD for calming sensory techniques.)

Executive functioning

Executive functions help us to focus, plan and control our impulses. All children will benefit from schools supporting the development of their executive functioning skills, as these processes are vitally important in helping children to learn and to problem solve.

Children who have experienced chaotic and unpredictable environments often have not have had the opportunity to develop these skills. Executive functions develop when adults help the child to regulate and modulate their responses in a predictable, consistent and caring way. They may need extra help and patience to practise cause and effect thinking, to plan ahead and to develop the ability to concentrate without becoming distracted. Children who have experienced adverse childhood experiences need support to help their behaviour and their brains develop in line with their peers.

The following activities can help children to develop executive functioning skills:

Plan the day using visual cues.

Plan and structure any transitions.

Give one instruction at a time.

Give alternatives to children who cope badly with unstructured playtimes orlunchtimes.

Use memory games and games involving structured turn-taking.

Demonstrate tasks (eg visually).

Encourage children to plan, do and review their work.

Give simple choices: ‘this or that’.

Use social stories to help children learn appropriate responses.

Any activities that help children learn how the boundaries of the day, week and year are arranged will support children to learn about passing time and provide predictability and structure which, in turn, provides a feeling of security for these learners, constancy, shame and conscience development.

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© FAMILY ACTION 2018

Children who have experienced abusive or inconsistent care may have difficulty in understanding that other people see and experience things differently to them. They can struggle with empathy and understanding others’ points of view.

Children with secure attachments know that if they do something wrong it does not mean that they are bad through and through; they realise that if they feel guilty about their misbehaviour, they can make up for it.

They also realise that when someone is angry with you for something you have done, this does not mean that they hate you.

However, children may have had experiences which cause them to feel pervasive shame when they have done something wrong and to think that they are bad and worthless; or they may think that someone’s anger towards something they have

done means that they themselves are hated.

This means that children in school need firm but calm correction when they misbehave. Angry responses from teachers and adults merely activate the alarm system in the brain, which will send the child into one of the defence responses discussed above.

Children need to be shown that everyone has different positive and negative emotions and that these come and go. They need to receive the message that they are safe and it is their behaviour which is not acceptable, not them.

Kind and calm correction is far more effective than angry reprimands.

Emotional coaching is an approach that is particularly effective with these children and young people as they can lack reflective reasoning and be unresponsive to traditional reward and sanction approaches. It is an approach where there are three stages:

Step 1: Recognising, empathising, validating the feelings and labelling them

Step 2: Setting limits on behaviour

Step 3: Problem-solving with the child/young person

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