Artie McFerrin Department of Chemical Engineering
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Artie McFerrin Department of Chemical Engineering Guidelines for Oral Presentations and Written Reports Revised: January 2012
Transcript of Artie McFerrin Department of Chemical Engineering
Artie McFerrin Department of Chemical Engineering
Guidelines for Oral Presentations and Written Reports
Revised: January 2012
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Table of Contents
Acknowledgments .................................................................................................... 3 Introduction .............................................................................................................. 4 Oral Presentations ................................................................................................. 5 What to Present ............................................................................................. 6 How to Present .............................................................................................. 6 What to Say ................................................................................................... 7 Using Visual Aids .......................................................................................... 8
Example of a PowerPoint Slide Layout ......................................................... 9 General Organization and Style .......................................................................... 10
Writing Principles ......................................................................................... 11 Organization ................................................................................................ 11 Parallel Construction ................................................................................... 12 Lists ............................................................................................................. 13 Punctuation ................................................................................................. 14
Capitalization ............................................................................................... 21 Pronoun Reference ..................................................................................... 22 Dangling Modifiers ....................................................................................... 23
Details .......................................................................................................... 24 Sentence Length ......................................................................................... 28 Word Selection ............................................................................................ 29 Word Demons .............................................................................................. 29 Word Order .................................................................................................. 31 Avoid Nominalization ................................................................................... 31 Set the Stage ............................................................................................... 31 Word Choice ................................................................................................ 32 Word Clutter ................................................................................................ 32 Editing .......................................................................................................... 32 Literature Cited ............................................................................................ 33 Pet Peeves .................................................................................................. 34
General Peeves .................................................................................... 34 “Notation” Peeves ................................................................................. 35 Font Peeves .......................................................................................... 36 Table Peeves ........................................................................................ 36 Figure Peeves ....................................................................................... 37 Word-Choice Peeves ............................................................................ 37
Selections from Edited Student Reports ...................................................... 41 Proofreading and Revision Symbols ........................................................... 52 Suggested Readings ................................................................................... 53 Literature Cited ............................................................................................ 53
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Acknowledgments The writers of the original Report Preparations Guidelines thank several Texas A&M faculty members for their creative input and editorial advice: Dr. Ron Darby and Dr. Mark Holtzapple, Department of Chemical Engineering, and Dr. Elizabeth Tebeaux, Department of English. A special note of gratitude goes to Mr. Jerry Bradshaw, Unit Operations Laboratory Director, without whose continued support and participation these guidelines would not exist. In its various incarnations, this guide has benefited from the contributions of the following chemical engineering and English grading assistants:
Seth Adelson Kathryn Alexander Julie Campbell Lynda Green Betty Haley Jeromy Hollenshead Marjorie Hong Kevin Lunsford Phyllis McBride Steve McCluney Brian McDaniels Rich Spitzer Ya-Jun Wang Sam Wu
The revisions of August 2005 were based on input from the following faculty members: Dr. Rayford Anthony, Dr. Charles Glover, and Dr. David Ford. Mr. Jerry Bradshaw once again led the way with insight and diligence. English grading assistant Jackie Womack compiled ideas and researched changes to bring the Guidelines up to date. Additional revisions were completed in August 2007. In August 2010, additional revisions were made at the suggestion of Dr. Tebeaux. In December 2011, extensive additions were made by Dr. Mark Holtzapple.
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Introduction
In addition to utilizing the principles of physics, chemistry, mathematics, biology, and engineering, engineers must be excellent writers and communicators. Research shows that engineers continually face the difficulties of clearly communicating technical information at many levels and to a variety of audiences. The following statistics provide some insight into how engineering graduates view the importance of good writing skills.
Robert Bataille of Iowa State University surveyed graduates from six different fields: the engineers surveyed rated writing skills at 73 on a scale of 1 (least important) to 99 (most important). For comparison, sociologists rated writing skills at 72, and English majors rated them at 70. Bataille concludes, “If nothing else, the responses should slay the seemingly ever-enduring myth that engineers do not have to write to be successful.” In addition, Bataille notes that all the groups surveyed viewed writing as important both to their present and future job success. In other words, good writing skills were a consideration for promotions and raises.1
Carol Barnum and Robert Fischer of Southern Technical Institute report that 91% of the engineers surveyed stated that their writing was “very important” or “important” to their jobs. About 80% noted that the ability to communicate has helped their career advancement.2
The optimum place for engineers to begin honing their professional writing skills is in the university setting. With that in mind, your Texas A&M chemical engineering professors urge you to develop good technical communication skills.
This guide includes advice specifically for students who are planning and drafting written reports, and presenting oral reports. The information and examples in this guide present good general rules to follow concerning form, content, organization, documentation, editing, and presentation of reports. Study these guidelines carefully before beginning your projects, and use them as reference tools throughout the process of compiling, writing, and presenting your work.
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Oral Presentations
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To prepare an oral presentation, you should prepare an outline of the major points you wish to cover and practice your actual presentation in front of others. Chapter 6 of your freshman text Foundations of Engineering provides helpful information on preparing and giving oral presentations.
Before facing your audience, carefully consider the following general suggestions. What to Present When looking over your written report to determine how you are going to present the information orally, remember that you do not want to overload your audience. In other words, do not stand up and read the written report; choose the most important information:
• introduction and problem statement, • relevant theory, • experimental method (including discussion of the apparatus and procedure),
and • results.
However, do not limit yourself to a rigid pattern of organization; remember that your oral presentation needs to emphasize clarity. In some cases, you may need to discuss equipment and procedure before theory. You will generally have 30 minutes maximum in which to present your report, but check with your instructor to be certain of the time limit.
How to Present When speaking, maintain eye contact with audience members and speak clearly, calmly, and loudly enough so that everyone in the room can hear you. You should NEVER turn your back on your listeners (that's rude!). If you must refer to a visual aid, use a pointer to keep your body (as far as you can) oriented toward your audience. When using a laser pointer, practice to insure accuracy. Do not leave the laser on while gesturing, and only use one if you can do so in a non-distracting way.
If you practice with the group, other members can tell you if you have any mannerisms that will distract your audience from what you say. For example, random motions or
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behaviors—like jingling coins in a pocket, waving a pointer, clearing your throat continuously, or playing with your hair—or habitual sounds—like uh, ah, um, er, ok, you know—cause an audience to pay attention to you rather than to your message. What to Say Most oral presentations fall naturally into three parts: the introduction, the body, and the conclusion:
The Introduction – Tell them what you’re going to tell them. Create a friendly atmosphere and announce the subject, purpose, and scope of your talk. Remember to introduce all members of the group at the beginning and the topics each one will discuss. NEVER apologize (about the report results, your expertise, or your ability as a public speaker); you want your audience to be as positive about you and your work as you are! The Body – Tell them. This is the “heart” of the presentation. Visual aids should reinforce what you are saying, not detract from it. During the presentation, create transitions from one topic to the next. Use “chapter designators” to let the audience know when you have changed topics.
Because the spoken language is rarely as formal as the written, you may use the
personal “I” or “we” when appropriate; you won't want to sound stiff or artificial even when discussing technical material. The Conclusion – Tell them what you told them. Don't conclude your presentation by finishing abruptly and sitting down. Let the audience know when you are about to finish—you can use obvious tag phrases like “in conclusion” or “to summarize” when you review the specific results you discussed earlier. The conclusion is not just a repeat of the introduction because your audience has a new understanding of your topic. Now is also the time for all good speakers to ask their audience if there are any questions. You want to leave your audience with the impression that you're smart, polite, and able to handle the exchange of professional discourse. Additional considerations follow:
• do not present new material in the conclusion, • keep your delivery strong and avoid the deadly “trailing off”, and • maintain eye contact and speak directly to your listeners instead of
reading from your notes.
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Using Visual Aids Take the time to prepare appropriate PowerPoint slides; that is, do not simply paste pages from a written report. Visual aids should help your audience understand your presentation, not distract them from it. Therefore, make sure they clarify your information and aid your presentation, not just decorate it. Also, your slides should not have too much text, print that is too small, or too many illustrations on one sheet. (See an example layout of a slide at the end of this section.) Refer to the following guidelines to help you: • For text, use a font like Helvetica (sans serif) and a font size greater than 18 point. • For equations, use Times New Roman (serif) font, which clearly shows the italics
used to identify mathematical variables and constants (e.g., T, P, R, Q). • When defining a mathematical variable or constant, use the same serif font that
appears in the equation. This avoids “mental gymnastics” associated with translating from one font to another. (Note: The definition itself can be a sans serif font.)
• Use color where appropriate to highlight (but not overshadow) information. • Use brief action statements rather than complete sentences. • Place only one equation (unless it's very brief) on each slide. • Draw a neat schematic or show a photo of the apparatus. Highlight its main features. • Label axes of graphs and include data points and confidence intervals where
appropriate.
To ensure readability of any text, print the slide and view it from six feet away. If you can easily read the slide, the print is large enough.
This picture shows bad form. Either the pointer should be in the left hand, or the presenter should be standing on the other side of the slide.
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General Organization and Style
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Here, you will find ways to eliminate the most common writing errors made by chemical engineering students in their reports and presentations. The following is not a definitive description, but it does include several guidelines to help you minimize glaring errors. This section moves from the initial stage of organization to the more advanced stages of editing and punctuation. If you have questions that these guidelines do not answer, ask your instructor and/or teaching assistant. Writing Principles Good writing involves the following principles:
1. Be logical – Information must be presented in a logical sequence that is easy for the reader to understand. In technical fields, information often builds upon itself, so present the foundational information first. State your main point first, and then follow with details.
2. Be clear – The hallmark of good technical writing is not that it informs; rather, it must not misinform. In technical writing, ambiguity MUST be avoided. It is very important that the writing can be interpreted only one way: the way the writer intends.
3. Minimize “mental gymnastics” – The more effort it takes for the reader to discern meaning, the more frustrated and tired they become, which adversely affects communication. For example, if a legend is used in a figure, the reader must match the symbols in the legend to the lines in the graph. Instead, it requires less effort to simply label each line directly.
4. Economize on words – Every word comes with a “price.” Inefficient use of words takes more time to read, more paper to print, and more effort to mentally process. In their designs, engineers employ the KISS principle (Keep it Simple, Stupid). The same principle must be employed in writing. Distill your ideas to their essence.
Details related to good writing have already been presented to you in your freshman engineering text Foundations of Engineering. Please review the following chapters: Chapter 6 — Oral and written communication Chapter 7 — Numbers Chapter 8 — Tables and Graphs Chapter 13 — Units Here, we address common problems that appear in student reports. Organization Technical reports follow a pattern of movement from general to specific. For example, the prefatory matter (i.e., objectives and summary) contains general information; the body of the report is the discussion or more specific information (i.e., theory, sample calculations, and recommendations); and the end matter of the report (i.e., the appendices and the documentation) is the most specific information.
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Headings and Sub-headings—Headings and sub-headings should help your readers
quickly find the information they need. Headings and sub-headings are also markers to show how you arrange the material. Thus, your headings and sub-headings should clearly denote the content of the sections they are announcing.
Additionally, each section of the report has a general-to-specific pattern of organization within its own context, and the heading and subsequent sub-headings illustrate this pattern of organization for your readers.
Example (heading) Sample Calculations
(sub-headings) Calculation of Reynolds number — Trial I Data Calculation of Prandtl number — Trial I Data
Well-Organized Paragraphs and Sentences—A good guideline to remember when composing paragraphs or even a single sentence is that a general-to-specific pattern of organization usually works well both in the whole report and in the individual report sections.
For example, begin a paragraph with a topic sentence; then support that topic
sentence with your main points of development. Conclude the paragraph, and, if necessary, create a transition into the next paragraph or section of the report. When writing sentences, use a subject and a concrete verb to help your reader see your ideas clearly without having to hunt for your meaning.
Parallel Construction If two or more ideas are parallel, they are easier to grasp when expressed in parallel grammatical form. Single words should be balanced with single words, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses. The reader expects to see the same grammatical pattern. When the pattern is broken, the reader is distracted and the meaning may be lost. Consider the following obvious examples and revisions: Incorrect This morning I ran out of cereal, couldn’t find my notebook, and the bus came too early. Revision This morning I ran out of cereal, couldn’t find my notebook, and missed the bus. Incorrect The French, the Italians, Spanish, and Portuguese … Revision The French, the Italians, the Spanish, and the Portuguese …
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Incorrect Most people are listening to their iPods, talking on a cell phone, or test preparation. Revision Most people are listening to their iPods, talking on a cell phone, or studying for a test. More complicated sentence structures also need to follow parallel construction. Incorrect Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method, while now
the laboratory method is employed. Revision Formerly, science was taught by the textbook method; now it is
taught by the laboratory method. The revision keeps the same verb pattern of “was taught” and “is taught.” Incorrect On the bus, being rowdy can result in suspension or even being
permanently removed from riding privileges. Revision On the bus, being rowdy can result in suspension or even
permanent removal of riding privileges. The revision matches the pattern of the nouns “suspension” and “removal.” Be aware that each element in a list must have the same structure: if you start using noun phrases, use noun phrases throughout the list; if you use sentences, use sentences throughout. (See the example in the next section) This idea of parallel form also affects the use of headings and subheadings. Lists In general, number elements in a list if the order of performance or chronology is important. If the order is not essential, use bullets instead of numbers. Remember to practice good parallel construction within all lists, numbered or bulleted. Incorrect 1. Read laboratory instructions before coming to class. 2. Preparation of experiment materials. 3. Performing experiment. Revision 1. Read laboratory instructions before coming to class. 2. Prepare experiment materials. 3. Perform experiment. Here the revision is made by making all three sentences begin with a verb.
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Revision 1. Review of laboratory instructions before class. 2. Preparation of experiment materials. 3. Performance of experiment. Here the revision is made by making all three phrases begin with a noun.
Punctuation You should always follow standard rules for punctuation. Some good handbooks for reference are The St. Martin's Handbook by Andrea Lunsford and Robert Connors and A Writer's Reference by Diana Hacker. These references and others appear on the Suggested Readings list in this guide. Review the following most common elements and errors of punctuation:
Colons — Colons are used when introducing an equation, list, figure, table, etc.
Example We brought the following tools: hammer, wrench, and screw driver.
Introducing an equation or a list — When introducing an equation or a list, do not put a colon after the words when, where, if, therefore, etc.
Example
Use the ideal gas equation
PV = nRT
where P = absolute pressure (Pa) V = volume (m3) n = number of moles (mol) R = gas constant = 8.314 Pa·m3/(mol·K) T = absolute temperature (K)
margin In this example, note the following:
• The sentence is indented because it is the first sentence in a paragraph. • “where” is not indented because it is a continuation of the sentence
and does not start a new paragraph. • “where” is not capitalized because it is a continuation of the sentence. • No punctuation follows “where.” • All mathematical variables and constants are italicized. • The equation is indented so it is set off from the text. • There are no multiplication symbols between the variables in the
equation; multiplication is implied. • Each variable and constant is listed and defined, with units • In the list, alignment is used to please the eye.
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Be sure that a complete sentence (an independent clause) precedes the colon, and avoid putting colons after dependent clauses ending with is, was, by, are, such as, especially, including, etc. Example
The result was the following equation:
Dε roughness relative =
or
The result was
Dε roughness relative =
(Note: Although “relative roughness” is in the equation, it is a sequence of words and is NOT italicized. In contrast, the D is a Latin letter and a mathematical variable, so it is italicized so it is not confused with a character in a word. Because the ε is a Greek letter, and will not be confused with a character in a word, it is NOT italicized.) Example
The basic energy balance equation follows: Accumulation = flow in – flow out
or
The basic energy balance equation is Accumulation = flow in – flow out
Commas — Use commas to separate items in a list.
Example The static head, friction losses, velocity head, and minor losses must be included.
For clarity, retain the comma before the coordinate conjunction (i.e., and, or, nor) in a series of three or more items. (This is known as the Oxford comma.) The following example illustrates the need for this comma:
Example We loaded the car with two dogs, Fred and Roger. We loaded the car with two dogs, Fred, and Roger.
In the first example, the missing comma implies that the two dogs are named Fred and Roger. In the second example with the comma, the car is loaded with two dogs and two people, one named Fred and the other Roger.
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Use commas to separate nonessential or nonrestrictive clauses, i.e., clauses that are parenthetical or that could be deleted without changing the meaning of the sentence.
Example The shaft seal, which should work at high speeds, failed.
Use commas to separate long independent clauses joined by and, or, but, or nor.
Example In the United States we use the English measurement system, but slowly we are adopting the SI system.
Use commas to set off introductory clauses
Example Before turning off the amplifier, be sure it is grounded.
Use commas to separate multiple adjectives that could be joined by and.
Example The automobile has red, shiny paint. It is not necessary to separate with a comma a mathematical variable from its name.
Error To calculate the Fanning friction factor, f, we needed to determine the Reynolds number, Re, which depends upon the cross-sectional area, a.
Revision To calculate the Fanning friction factor f, we determined
the Reynolds number Re, which depends upon the cross-sectional area a.
In the first example, there are so many commas, it is difficult to identify which ones are needed to separate the clauses. Because the mathematical variables are italicized, they are easily identified and not confused with text. (Note: The Reynolds number is not italicized because it is an abbreviation; if it were italicized Re, it could be misinterpreted as the ideal gas constant R multiplied by the variable e.) Note the importance of italicizing mathematical variables; otherwise the variable a could be interpreted as the Latin letter “a.” Semicolon — Do not use a comma to separate two phrases that could stand alone as
independent sentences; instead, use a semicolon.
Error The engineering student worked hard in school, therefore he landed a good job.
Revision The engineering student worked hard in school; therefore,
he landed a good job.
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Use a semicolon to separate phrases that have commas.
Example The following individuals attended the meeting: Martin Fields, vice president, Ford Motor Company; Alfred Reno, chief executive officer, General Motors; and Jennifer Anderson, president, Chrysler.
Comma Splice — Two independent clauses (two clauses that could stand alone as
complete sentences) should not be joined with only a comma.
Error Never measure explosive gas concentrations with inappropriate equipment, use only equipment that OSHA and NFPA have recommended.
Revision Never measure explosive gas concentrations with
inappropriate equipment; use only equipment that OSHA and NFPA have recommended.
Fused Sentence — Two independent clauses should not be joined without
punctuation or a connecting word between them.
Error A simple battery can produce enough energy to spark an ignition proper care and regular inspection of equipment are necessary.
Revision A simple battery can produce enough energy to spark an
ignition; thus, proper care and regular inspection of equipment are necessary.
Note — You can also eliminate comma splices and fused
sentences by • separating the clauses into two sentences, • linking the clauses with a comma and coordinating
conjunction (and, for) or a semicolon and a sentence adverbial (however, etc.), or
• changing one of the independent clauses to a dependent clause.
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Hyphens — Hyphens are used to join words together thus making a single word.
Example re-introduce
They are used for clarity.
Error The specifications call for 12 foot long pipes. Revision The specifications call for 12 foot-long pipes. Revision The specifications call for 12-foot-long pipes.
They are used when spelling out fractions or numbers less than 100
Example two-thirds seventy-eight They are used to create compound units Example Freight costs are calculated based on ton-miles.
They are used to compound adjectives. Examples We need a face-to-face meeting. The process requires high-pressure pipe. Use 5-in-diameter pipe. Errors constant speed motor shell and tube heat exchanger state of the art technology Revisions constant-speed motor shell-and-tube heat exchanger state-of-the-art technology Error 15 min test Revision 15-min test Note how multiple compound adjectives are used. Examples Both low- and high-pressure pipes are too heavy.
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Be careful to differentiate when the words are used as adjectives (with hyphen)
and when they are nouns (no hyphen). Error The apparatus achieved steady-state. Revision The apparatus achieved steady state. Error Figure 3 shows steady state data. Revision Figure 3 shows steady-state data. Error Select the 2 ft diameter pipe. Revision Select the 2-ft-diameter pipe. Error The pipe diameter is 2-ft. Revision The pipe diameter is 2 ft. When words commonly appear together, no hyphen is necessary Error high-school student Revision high school student Error first-aid station Revision first aid station Because there can be some ambiguity regarding the use of hyphens, consult an
authoritative source to determine the convention. In some cases, you will find there is no agreement. If this occurs, simply select one convention and be consistent throughout your report.
When the first word is an adverb, no hyphen is necessary. Error carefully-prepared plan Revision carefully prepared plan
Dash — There are two types of dashes:
• En dash – (Alt 0150) • Em dash — (Alt 0151)
These symbols can be called from the character map by pressing the “Alt” key while simultaneously pressing the sequence of numbers.
An em dash is used to emphasize a parenthetical statement.
Example Open the steam valve—the one with the red handle, not the
blue handle—by turning it counterclockwise.
An en dash is used to indicate a range of values.
Example Figures 3–6 show that the correlation is valid.
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Parentheses — Parentheses are used to set off parenthetical lists, clarifications, acronyms, asides, or abbreviations.
Example Ellen’s technical courses (heat transfer, fluids, and thermodynamics) are canceled.
Example Mike suggested that we use high-pressure (schedule 80, not schedule 40) pipe.
Example The primary salt in seawater is sodium chloride (NaCl). Example The boss announced that because of his fine work, Fred
will be promoted (although everyone knows it’s because he married the boss’s daughter).
Example It is appropriate to use log-mean temperature difference (LMTD).
(Note: Always spell out an abbreviation upon first use.) With units, use parentheses to ensure the order of operations is correct.
Error Btu/h·ft2·oF Revision Btu/(h·ft2·oF)
Do not surround the units with parentheses.
Error 12 (m/s) Revision 12 m/s
Do not surround figure, table, or equation numbers with parentheses
Error Refer to Equation (2). Revision Refer to Equation 2.
For a numbered list that is embedded in text, use parentheses to highlight each number.
Example The objectives were to record two sets of drying runs: (1) full drying from inception to dryness; and (2) constant drying, during which the drying rate was constant.
Sentence Fragment — In a sentence fragment, a group of words is punctuated as a sentence but lacks some necessary grammatical element.
Error Noise suppression, another important factor to consider. Error Although noise suppression is another factor to consider. Revision Noise suppression is another important factor to consider. Error Stopping every 20 minutes to check the pressure. Revision Stop every 20 minutes to check the pressure.
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Capitalization Capitalization is used for proper nouns. Carefully consider the following examples:
Error I want to be a Chemical Engineer. Revision I want to be a chemical engineer. Error Visit the chemical engineering department. Revision Visit the Chemical Engineering Department. Error Visit the President of the company. Revision Visit the president of the company. Error Visit president George Bush. Revision Visit President George Bush. Error Refer to figure 3, table 1, and equation 5. Revision Refer to Figure 3, Table 1, and Equation 5. Error Plot the tabulated data in a Figure. Revision Plot the tabulated data in a figure. Error Water was added to Sodium Chloride. Revision Water was added to sodium chloride.
Historically, capitals have been used for titles; however, in recent years, there has been a movement against this.
Historical An Experimental Investigation of Fluid Flow Modern An experimental investigation of fluid flow
This modern convention allows proper names to be readily identified in titles
Example The life of Mark Twain
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Pronoun Reference Pronouns such as this, that, and which should not vaguely refer to preceding verbs or word groups. These pronouns should refer to specific antecedents and thus are best followed by a noun.
Error For simplicity, Procedure A will be used for analysis. This will easily provide an indication of the required current when the system is used with mean rated wind velocity.
Revision For simplicity, Procedure A will be used for analysis. This
procedure will easily provide an indication . . . . In addition, singular indefinite pronouns such as everyone and everybody agree with singular forms of any verb and must also take singular forms of pronouns referring to them.
Example Everyone has participated equally in the preparation of this report.
Example Everybody must give me his or her section before the
deadline.
or
All group members must give me their sections before the deadline.
Any sentence beginning with the word “This,” “That,” or “There” should be reviewed for possible revision. These words are vague and sometimes misleading to the reader. Also, writers can develop a bad habit of beginning sentences this way. The simple sentence structure that usually follows will make your writing sound weak, dull, and repetitive.
Example There are six people waiting for the bus.
The words “There are” are unnecessary.
Revision Six people are waiting for the bus.
An exception to this rule is when you need to establish the existence of something.
Example There are three ways to approach the problem.
This sentence is simple and direct. As a topic sentence of a paragraph, it might be the best choice, especially if complicated ideas or sentence structures follow.
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Dangling Modifiers
Dangling modifiers are words (usually adverbs), phrases (prepositional or participial), and elliptical clauses (clauses from which a word or words have been left out) that modify nothing in particular in the rest of the sentence. Usually dangling modifiers suggest but do not name an actor. The reader expects the subject of the next clause to name the actor. If it doesn’t, the modifier dangles. An example that is ridiculous is easy to spot.
Error Waiting for the bus, my shoe came untied. Obviously, my shoe was not really who was waiting for the bus. Revision While I waited for the bus, my shoe came untied. Revision Waiting for the bus, I noticed my untied shoe.
Analyze your writing carefully and make certain the association between a modifying phrase and the words modified is clear. Examples that are not ridiculous are more difficult to spot, but once you find them they are easy to fix.
Error Substituting the known values into Equation 3, the constant drying rate is determined.
The sentence is incorrect because “the constant drying rate” is not the one who “substituted the known values.”
Revision After substituting the known values into Equation 3, the group determined the constant drying rate. Revision After the known values are substituted into Equation 3, the constant drying rate is determined. Revision Substituting the known values into Equation 3 yields the constant drying rate.
In the following example, the reader is left wondering who found the results inconclusive. Error Finding the results inconclusive, the project was
abandoned. Revision Finding the results inconclusive, the investigators
abandoned the project. Revision Because the results were inconclusive, the project was
abandoned. Revision Inconclusive results led to abandoning the project.
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Error Adding the chemical to the tank, the solution was mixed for
two minutes. Revision After the chemical was added to the tank, the solution was
mixed for two minutes. Revision After adding the chemical to the tank, the group mixed the solution for two minutes. Revision The chemical was added to the tank, and the solution was mixed for two minutes.
Error Using Equations 6 and 7, the constant drying rate was determined.
Revision The constant drying rate was determined by using Equations 6 and 7. Details ITALICS:
In technical communications, proper use of italics is very important. Italics are easier to see with serif fonts (e.g., Times New Roman) and more difficult with sans serif fonts (e.g., Arial). For this reason, in technical writing, serif fonts are preferred. The following table shows the proper use of italics:
Italics No Italics Latin letters used as mathematical symbols (a, A, b, B)
Greek letters (α, β, γ, Δ)
Foreign words (vive la différence) Abbreviations (Re, Pr, LMTD) Species names (Escherichia coli) Units (kg, lb, gal, mL) Names of books (Foundations of Engineering) Numbers (1, 4, 56) Names of journals (AIChE Journal) Words (pipe) Mathematical functions (ln, sin, cos) Chemical formulas (NaCl) Parenthesis ( ) and brackets [ ] Italics are also used to identify a word that is used in a definition.
Example An octagon is an eight-sided figure. NUMBERS: Use a leading 0 with decimal points to avoid confusing readers. Example 0.735
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For numbers over 10,000, use a comma to separate every three digits. Example 8960 Btu/(h·ft2·oF) 39,460 Btu/(h·ft2·oF) The following tables describe when to use Arabic numbers, and when to spell them out:
Arabic Numbers Examples
With units of measure The reaction takes 5 min. In mathematical or technical contexts The velocity increased 2 fold. For named items Turn Valve 6. For numbered objects Table 4 and Figure 2 show the results
from Experiment 3. For all numbers in a series, even if some would normally be spelled out
The tests involved 3, 8, or 15 subjects.
Ordinal numbers 10 and above This is the 11th mishap this year.
Spell Out Examples Integers below 10 without units We ordered eight pipes. Ordinal numbers below 10 This is the second experiment of the day. Integers below 10, with units, not in a technical context
It took seven years to graduate.
Common fractions Yesterday, half the students were asleep. Numbers that begin sentences* Fifteen tanks were filled. Consecutive numerical expressions* He lifted fifteen 2-lb weights. * Try to reformulate the sentence to avoid using these rules. When reporting a number, use the appropriate number of significant figures. Ideally, the number of significant figures is determined by performing a propagation-of-errors analysis. Absent that, the following rules of thumb can be employed:
Estimates: 1 to 2 significant figures Typical measurements: 3 significant figures High-accuracy measurements: 4 or more significant figures
Note: When fitting a trend line to data, the default number of significant figures reported by Excel may not be appropriate; thus, it may be necessary to manually adjust the number of reported significant figures.
Consult Chapter 6 and 7, Foundations of Engineering, for more details on numbers.
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EQUATIONS: Simple equations are sometimes embedded in a sentence. Example Einstein developed the famous equation E = mc2.
In engineering, equations are usually too complex to be embedded in a sentence; therefore, they appear by themselves as in the following example:
)βρ(1)(24−
Δ= oc
ooPg
CV
In Word, equations are created using the equation editor, which is accessed by selecting Insert, Object, Microsoft Equation 3.0. The equation editor is fairly intuitive; however, you should be aware that under Style there are two common modes: Math and Text. The Math mode causes letters to appear in italics whereas the Text mode does not employ italics. Properly, the operation of subtraction is shown as a dash Incorrect y = x - z Correct y = x – z Notice there is a space on either side of the subtraction operator. Similarly, a minus sign is shown as a dash Incorrect y = -5 Correct y = –5 Notice there is no space between the minus sign and the number. In the Math mode, typing a hyphen causes a dash to be produced automatically. Alternatively, it is always possible to call a dash by typing Alt 0150, meaning press the “Alt” key while simultaneously pressing the sequence 0 1 5 0. This code calls the character map and causes the “–“ symbol to appear. When showing multiplication in an equation, use the following symbols:
• raised period · (Alt 0183) • multiplication sign × (Alt 0215) • parenthesis ( ) or brackets [ ]
As illustrated in the equations above, no multiplication symbol is required; in the absence of a symbol, multiplication is implied. Do NOT use the asterisk (*) for multiplication. Although this symbol is commonly used for computers, it is NOT used for humans.
27
The raised period is commonly employed to separate units
Example )ft·s/(lbor ft·slb 2
m2
(Note: There is no space on either side of the raised period.) When using scientific notation, the multiplication sign is employed. Example 8.32 × 10–6 The multiplication sign can be used for unit conversions
in 228ftin 12
mft 3.281m 78.5 =××=L
Putting the numbers and units in parentheses is also common. The parentheses should be called from the equation editor and not from the keyboard
Error 2222 in 8960)ftin 12()
mft 3.281(m 78.5 =××=A
Revision 222
2 in 8960ftin 12
mft 3.281m 78.5 =⎟
⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛×⎟
⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛×=A
When substituting numbers and their units into an equation, it is common to use only parentheses to avoid the clutter associated with the multiplication sign and raised period
( )( ) s
ft72.3532.01
ftlb
62.4
ftlb
4.13s·lbft·lb
32.17420.96
)βρ(1)(2
43m
2f
2f
m
4
=−⎟
⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛
⎟⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛⎟⎟⎠
⎞⎜⎜⎝
⎛
=
−Δ
= ocoo
PgCV
Note that the raised period is used to separate the units.
28
SPACING: Space between a number and its accompanying abbreviation. Example 5 m
Exceptions: Do not space between a number and degrees Celsius (˚C), degree (˚), minutes (‘), and seconds (“).
Example 10˚C There is no space between a number and the percent sign Error 10 % Revision 10% There is no space before or after the solidus Error 10 g / L Revision 10 g/L
There is no space before or after the raised period in units
Error 10 Btu/(h · ft2 · oF) Revision 10 Btu/(h·ft2·oF)
Sentence Length Short sentences — Avoid short, choppy sentences. Error Open Valve A. Fill Tank B. Set temperature to 200oF. Set
pressure to 200 psig. Start pump. Wait for steady state. Take samples. Analyze samples. Plot data. Analyze results. Report.
Long sentences — Avoid long, complex sentences.
Error Open Valve A and fill Tank B, then set the temperature to 200oF and pressure to 200 psig, followed by starting the pump, waiting for steady state, taking and analyzing samples; plotting the data helps analyze the results, which then are reported.
Revision First, open Valve A and fill Tank B. Then, set the temperature to
200oF and pressure to 200 psig. Next, start the pump and wait for steady state so that samples can be taken and analyzed. Finally, plot the data so they can be analyzed and reported.
Note the use of “transition words” (e.g., “first,” “next,” “finally”) to smooth the flow.
29
Word Selection As much as possible, avoid using the same word multiple times in the same sentence; this makes it difficult to translate the sentence into meaning.
Error To calculate the Fanning friction factor f, we needed to calculate the Reynolds number Re.
Revision To calculate the Fanning friction factor f, we needed to determine
the Reynolds number Re.
Be consistent in your word choice. For example, heat exchangers that have the flow going in the same direction can be described as “parallel flow” or “cocurrent flow.” The two expressions have the same meaning, so they can be used interchangeably; however, once you have made your selection, use it consistently throughout your report. If you do not follow this convention, the reader will become confused when you switch the expression…Has something changed? Word Demons Word demons have similar meanings or similar spellings, so they are often confused with each other. Effect (n.): result Effect (v.): to cause; to bring about Affect (v.): to act upon Example The effect of high-intensity noise is ear damage. Example High-intensity noise effects ear damage. Example High-intensity noise affects the cochlea. Fewer: used with integers Less: used with real numbers or things that cannot be counted (e.g., love) Example Because we sold fewer automobiles, our company had less income. i.e.: abbreviation of Latin id est (that is to say) e.g.: abbreviation of Latin exempli gratia (for example) Example Chemical engineers are better spouses; i.e., they have fewer divorces than
other professions. Example Chemical engineers take technical courses (e.g., heat transfer,
thermodynamics). Note: A comma always follows i.e. and e.g.
30
It’s: contraction of it is Its: possessive of it Example It’s raining. Example Its engine overheated. That: First word of a phrase that is essential for meaning. Which: First word of a phrase that is not essential for meaning. (If adding “by the way” makes sense, use which.) Example Of the tools that are carried on a sailboat, the screwdriver is needed most. Example The screwdriver, which can also open cans of paint, is needed to tighten
loose screws. Because: for the reason that Since: from a time in the past until now As: to the same degree, amount, or extent Due to: owed to Error Since the heating element failed, the oven cannot maintain temperature. Error As the heating element failed, the oven cannot maintain temperature. Error Due to the heating element failure, the oven cannot maintain temperature. Revision Because the heating element failed, the oven cannot maintain temperature. Whereas: although While: during the time that Error Cargo planes carry things, while passenger planes carry people. Revision Cargo planes carry things, whereas passenger planes carry people. Respectively: in the same order given Respectfully: showing respect Example Experiments 1, 2, and 3 were performed on Monday, Tuesday, and
Wednesday, respectively. Revision Respectfully, I disagree. Additional word demons are found in Chapter 6, Foundations of Engineering.
31
Word Order The Internet search engine Google finds good “hits” for your inquiry by looking at the proximity of the words on the website. The assumption is that if words are in close proximity, they are probably connected in meaning and are more likely to be a good “hit.” This same logic holds for sentence structure. Placing words in close proximity means they are connected in meaning, which reduces the amount of “mental gymnastics” required by the brain to extract meaning.
Error Energy dissipation occurs in a piping network when elements resist flow.
Revision In a piping network, energy dissipation occurs when elements
resist flow.
In this example, “in a piping network” separates the key words “energy dissipation” from “elements.” Moving this phrase to the beginning places the key words in close proximity, which allows for more rapid mental processing and a more impactful sentence. Avoid Nominalization Nominalization is the process of producing a noun from another part of speech.
Error I am in need of a break. Revision I need a break. Error The flow is dependent on the pressure difference. Revision The flow depends on the pressure difference.
Set the Stage In a memorandum or e-mail, it is common to provide background information and then end with a specific request that requires action by the reader. This same strategy of providing background and then moving to action can be employed in a sentence.
Error The y-intercept of the Wilson plot is substituted into Equation 8 in order to determine the outside film heat transfer coefficient.
Revision To determine the outside film heat transfer coefficient, the y-
intercept of the Wilson plot is substituted into Equation 8.
Notice that this sentence leads with “why,” and then ends with an action.
32
Word Choice
When you have a choice of words, always select the most explicit word:
Error We filled the vessel. Revision We filled the reactor. Revision We filled the storage tank.
In this example, a “vessel” is a vague word whereas “reactor” and “storage tank” are more explicit. Word Clutter
Remove words that add clutter.
Error From Figures 8, 9, 10, and 11 it can be seen that the experimental values follow the same trends as the empirical values.
Revision Figures 8–11 show that the experimental values follow similar
trends as the empirical values.
Removing the extra words not only reduces space requirements, but it allows the reader to more quickly discern the meaning. Further, the word reduction requires less “mental gymnastics,” which reduces the chance of misunderstanding. Finally, the sentence is more direct and impactful. Editing Editing is the most important step in the writing process. Rarely is it possible to create good technical writing extemporaneously. The following tips will help the editing process:
• Allow time to pass between the writing and editing process. You know what you are trying to say, so it is difficult to pick up errors if you edit too soon. By waiting, you forget what you are trying to say and actually see what is on the page.
• Ask others to read your writing and ask for their suggestions. • After you make the change, highlight the edits with a marker on the paper
copy. This ensures that you do not miss edits.
Question: How do you know when the editing process is complete? Answer: When you read it yet again, and you can find no more changes to make. It is not uncommon for a document to be read 10 to 15 times during the editing process.
33
Literature Cited In this section, list your references in numerical order in the order in which they are cited in the text. Give complete information according to the format of the AIChE Journal, which recommends following AMA style. Refer to the format below for the most common reference types. (When using a reference that does not fit one of these formats, refer to an AMA style guide. www.docstyles.com is free and has many examples. Download their AMA Style Guide and then look under AMA Citations.)
Citation examples for two books, a journal article and an online article appear below in the correct format.
Literature Cited
1. Bradshaw J. Chemical Engineering Unit Operations Laboratory 1. College Station, TX: Texas A&M University; 1999.
2. Perry NP and Green D. Perry’s Chemical Engineers’ Handbook. 6th ed.
New York, NY: McGraw Hill; 1984.
3. Shetty SA, Kantak MV, Kelkar BG. Gas-Phase Backmixing in Bubble-Column Reactors. AIChE J. 1992; 38: 1013.
4. Boesinger C and Le Guer Y. Fluid mechanics and transport phenomena:
Experimental study of reactive chaotic flows in tubular reactors. Wiley InterScience Website. Available at http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgibin/abstract/110499862/ABSTRACT. Accessed July 14, 2005.
1. Author Last Name F. The Title of the Book or Volume. Xth ed. City, State: Publisher; 2003.
2. Author Last FM, Second Last FM, Third Last FM. Title of the article:
subtitle of the article. Journal Name. Date, Year; volume: 123–129. 3. Author Last FM. Title of the online article. Journal Name or Website
name. Date, Year of publication (if known). Available at www.website.com. Accessed date, year.
34
Pet Peeves
DANGER: Use of the following could seriously affect (not effect) your grade!
General Peeves
ABSTRACT EVALUATIONS: Avoid them. Use a quantitative guideline for illustration. Examples The results were very good. Our findings were excellent. Revision The calculated value deviated from the literature by 4.5%. If abstract evaluations are used, they must be followed by specific details. EXTREMELY INFORMAL LANGUAGE: Save it for conversation. Error “plugged” a number into an equation Revision substituted … Contractions are considered informal and do not appear in technical writing. Error The discrepancy can’t be explained. Revision The discrepancy cannot be explained.
35
FIRST-PERSON POINT OF VIEW: The focus is not on the people, but the information Example We derived the results from . . . . Revisions The results were derived from . . . . INANIMATE OBJECTS AND POSSESSION: According to traditional grammar rules, inanimate objects do not own things! Example Nitrogen's molecular weight Revision the molecular weight of nitrogen INCONSISTENCY IN NOTATION: Use standard nomenclature. (See any chemical engineering textbook for examples.) VAGUE STATEMENTS: Use concrete language. Example A period of unfavorable weather set in. Revision It rained every day for a month.
“Notation” Peeves
ABBREVIATIONS:
• Differentiate between kinds of units (lbf or lbm, not simply lb; psia, psig, psid, or psi).
• Instead of using the symbols (") for inches and (’) for feet, use (in) and (ft) to specify lengths.
• Do not make abbreviated units plural by adding s (2 hours or 2 h, not 2 hs). • In general, no period is necessary after unit abbreviations (in, not in.; gal, not
gal.) unless they appear at the end of a sentence. • Use s for second, h for hour, and Btu for British thermal unit.
36
Font Peeves
• To enhance readability, use the same font size (typically 12 point), including text, figure captions, tables, and equations. Exceptions follow: o Titles, headings, and sub-headings may use a larger font o Superscripts and subscripts are smaller o Tables with large amounts of data may use a smaller font to fit the
information on a single page • Because it clearly differentiates plain text from italics text, use a serif font for
text. Exceptions follow: o Titles, headings, sub-headings, figure captions, table titles, and tabulated
data may use a sans serif font so they are readily distinguished from the text.
o Electronic media (e.g., PowerPoint presentations, e-mail) often use sans serif fonts because the resolution is insufficient to clearly show the serifs.
Table Peeves
• Sequentially, reference every table in the text (e.g., Table 1, Table 2…). • Label each column. • Center justify column headings. • Left justify row labels. • In a column, align numbers with the decimals. • Where appropriate, include units (in parentheses). • Tables titles appear at the top. • Use same font size as text. • There is no period at the end of the title.
It is helpful to set off the table number from the text with bold type, as in the following example: Table 3 Heat and mass transfer coefficients Consult Chapter 8, Foundations of Engineering, for more details on tables.
37
Figure Peeves
• Sequentially, reference every figure in the text (e.g., Figure 1, Figure 2…). • Data should be shown with data points. • Calculations should be shown as smooth lines without “data” points. • Interpret the data with a smooth curve, whether generated “by eye” or by
calculation. • Whenever possible, directly label lines rather than relying upon a legend.
This minimizes “mental gymnastics.” • Label axes and include units (in parentheses). • Ensure the font size for the axis labels are large enough to be easily read. • Do not use an excessive number of decimal places on the number. It is not
necessary to label the axis with 20.000000; it is sufficient to use 20. • Show tick marks on the axes. • The caption appears below the figure. • The figure caption is capitalized as though it were a sentence. • It is not necessary to have complete sentences in the figure caption. • The font size of the caption should be the same as the text. • There is a period at the end of the caption. • Do not include a title at the top of the figure. A single caption is sufficient.
It is helpful to set off the figure number from the text with bold type, as in the following example: Figure 5 Agreement of experimental data with empirical correlations. Consult Chapter 8, Foundations of Engineering, for more details on graphs. Word-Choice Peeves
NOUNS:
data — In Latin, the word data is plural and datum is singular. As a plural noun, data means “facts or pieces of information.” (Hint – If determining the verb form is difficult, substitute a plural word like “dogs.”) Examples The data suggest that the theory is correct. These data show that the rate is increasing. For a single piece of data, the singular word “datum” is technically correct; however, it is rarely used.
38
In some writing styles, data is used as a singular noun. More information can be found at the following website: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/is-data-singular-or-plural.aspx In academic or scientific writing, data is almost always used as a plural noun, so that is the preferred form for your report.
lab — slang for laboratory. A laboratory is a room, not an experiment. VERBS: In general, avoid using informal verb-particle combinations (call up, carry out, throw out) and focus on one-word verb equivalents (phone, perform, discard). calculate — this verb remains appropriate in Analysis and Sample Calculation
sections; determine, evaluate, establish, and estimate are better for other sections. did/done — use performed instead. Example We did the experiment. Revision We performed the experiment. find — this word typically involves Easter Eggs, not results in reports. Example to find the orifice coefficient Revision to measure (or to calculate, to determine, etc.) the orifice coefficient
get/got — use obtained, derived, determined, evaluated, or other concrete verbs instead.
Example The group was then able to get the value for … Revision The group was then able to determine the value for … rise or raise/fall or lower — these words describe the triumphs and tragedies of
cake-baking, not variances in temperature as stated in laboratory reports. Example The temperature rose (fell) . . . . Revision The temperature increased (decreased) . . . .
There are some notable exceptions that are common engineering terminology, e.g., “pressure drop across the orifice” or “temperature drop through the heat exchanger.”
39
VERB TENSE: Use the following guide to determine the appropriate tense: Past tense
• Actions that occurred in the past • Truths that were believed in the past, but are no longer considered to be true
Examples When the handle was turned, the valve leaked and released
steam into the room. People used to believe that the earth was the center of the
universe.
Present tense
• Actions that occur in the present • Timeless conclusions and truths
Examples The distillation column contains three beds of structured
packing. People understand that the sun is the center of the solar
system.
Present tense
• Actions that will occur in the future • Conclusions and truths that are expected in the future
Examples Once it is fixed, when the handle is turned, the valve will
not leak and release steam into the room. Installing a splash guard will eliminate the wet walkway
and thus ensure that students will not slip and fall. After the experiment is conducted, matter and energy will
no longer be considered separate phenomenon.
40
PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES: in order to — “to” is sufficient. of—avoid excessive repetition of this particular preposition. Example The change of the pressure of the system … Revision The system pressure change …
41
Selections from Edited Student Reports The following selections were taken from student reports. Please study them carefully and try to understand why the editorial changes were made. Original — The fluid flow experiment was completed to apply the concepts of fluid
mechanics to a real world system through the empirical determination of several theoretical values.
Edited — In the fluid flow experiment students apply fluid mechanics concepts to a piping network.
Original — Pressure taps at several locations were connected to manometers to measure
the pressure drop across the fittings of interest. Edited — To measure the pressure drop across the fittings, pressure taps were connected
to manometers. Original — One of the chief objectives of this experiment was to calculate the equivalent
length of fittings, such as gate valves and elbow. Table 5 presents the results of these calculations.
Edited — One objective was to calculate the equivalent length of fittings, such as gate valves and elbows (Table 5).
Original — The taps of the manometers are placed at a distance of two feet for the 3/8-in
pipe and at a distance of five feet of piping on the 3/8-in, 1/2-in, 3/4-in, and 1-in diameter pipes.
Edited — The manometer taps are separated by 2 ft (3/8-in pipe) and 5 ft (3/8-, 1/2-, 3/4-, and 1-in pipes).
Original — The tall manometer is used to measure pressure drops across fittings, while
the small manometer is used to determine relative flow rates from the respective pressure drops.
Edited — The tall manometer measures pressure drops across fittings, whereas the small manometer measures flow rates.
Original — gc = 32.174 (lbm·ft/(lbf·s2)) Edited — gc = 32.174 lbm·ft/(lbf·s2) Original — Iterations were then carried out to determine the f values with initial guesses
of 0ε =D .
Edited — Then, iterations were performed to determine f with initial guesses of ε/D = 0. Original — In order to calculate the equivalent length of pipe from fitting and elbows, an
overall value for f must be found. This value was found by using the Churchill equation.
Edited — To determine the equivalent length of pipe for fitting and elbows, f was calculated using the Churchill equation.
42
Original — Figure 5 and Figure 6 show the graphs for determining the orifice coefficient
and the venturi coefficient, respectively. Edited — The coefficients for the orifice and venturi meters were determined from
Figures 5 and 6, respectively. Original — As the flow rates increase, the Reynolds numbers increase as expected. This
shows that the turbulence with the pipes increases as the flow rate increases. Edited — As the flow rates increase, the Reynolds numbers increase, which increases
turbulence. Original — The experimental data for the fanning friction factors and Reynolds numbers
is plotted on Moody diagram. Figure 7 is a Moody diagram with the experimental data overlaid to compare.
Edited — The experimental data for the Fanning friction factors and Reynolds numbers are plotted on the Moody diagram (Figure 7).
Original — Heating is the transfer of heat energy from one medium to another. Heat
exchangers offer a way to transfer heat from a fluid stream to a differing fluid stream without mixing the streams.
Edited — Heat exchangers transfer thermal energy from one fluid to another without mixing the streams.
Original — h
Btu70026.89F)121.921-F(130.314 · h
lb9000 ·
F·lbBtu927.0 oom
o =m
Edited — h
Btu70,000F)121.9–F(130.3 h
lb9000 F·lb
Btu927.0 oomo =⎟
⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛
⎟⎟⎠
⎞⎜⎜⎝
⎛=
m
Q
Original — 2ft 58.7 π·5.125ft 3 ·ft 068667.0 = Edited — 2ft 58.7 ft) 5.13( ft) 0687.0π( ==A
Original — )(
)-(
2
1
21
TTln
TTΔTLMTD
ΔΔΔΔ
=
Edited —
⎟⎟⎠
⎞⎜⎜⎝
⎛ΔΔΔ−Δ
=
2
1
21LMTD
lnΔ
TTTTT
43
Original — F·h·ft
Btu40.671F25.8943872 ·ft 6.891869
hrBtu14387.64292
o2o ==iU
Edited — ( )( ) F·h·ftBtu671
F25.9tf 6.89h
Btu300,64o2o2 ==iU
Original — πµ iDm4 =Re
Edited — πµ
4ReiDm=
Original — 00.7)
·2·2938.0(
)h·ftlb
F)(2.219lbBtu927.0( mo
==
FfthBtu
rP
o
Edited — 00.7
Fh·ft·Btu2938.0
h·ftlb
2.219F·lb
Btu927.0(Pr
o
mo
m =⎟⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛
⎟⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛⎟⎟⎠
⎞⎜⎜⎝
⎛
=
Original — )(2 heightlengthheightwidthwidthlengthA ×+×+××= Edited — )heightlengthheightwidthwidthlength(2 ×+×+××=A or )(2 hlhwwlA ×+×+××= Original —
hlb440.0-
glb 0.00224 * g 6.15*
lb·hlb604.12- =
Edited —
h waterlb
440.0–sponge g
sponge lb 0.00224 sponge g 6.15
sponge·h lb waterlb
604.12– mm
m
m =××=dtdw
44
Original — Cp = specific heat of the fluid ⎟⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛
FlbBtuo·
Edited — Cp = specific heat of the fluid ⎟⎠⎞⎜
⎝⎛
Flb·Btuo
Original — The Reynolds number has an exponent of 0.8 in the Wilson Plot which it
correlates to the exponent of the Reynolds number in the Dittus-Boelter Equation allowing the Wilson Plot to better fit empirical equations at higher Reynolds numbers.
Edited — In the Wilson plot, the inverse Reynolds number has an exponent of 0.8, which is identical to the exponent of the Reynolds number in the Dittus-Boelter equation, the appropriate empirical correlation at high Reynolds numbers.
Original — The y-intercept of the Wilson Plot is substituted into Equation 8 in order to
determine the outside film heat transfer coefficient. Values for the outside film heat transfer coefficients can be seen in Table 5.
Edited — To determine the outside film heat transfer coefficient, the y-intercept of the Wilson plot is substituted into Equation 8. Table 5 shows the outside film heat transfer coefficients.
Original — The results of calculating the inside film heat transfer coefficient can be seen
in Table 7. Edited — Table 7 shows the calculated inside film heat transfer coefficient. Original — Group II would like to point out the Results and Discussion section of the
report. Additionally, Group II would also like to point out the Recommendations section of the report. The Recommendation section explains what Group II believes will bring accurate results derived from correct raw data. Group II highlights the results for heat transfer coefficients for the concentric-tube heat exchanger and the shell-and-tube heat exchanger.
Edited — The entire paragraph was eliminated because it had no substance…just words.
Original — The relative roughness, Dε , and the Fanning friction factor, f, were
calculated for each straight pipe. Edited — For each straight pipe, the relative roughness ε/D and the Fanning friction
factor f were calculated. Original — To obtain data we measured the weight of water that would accumulate in a
container over a thirty second period. Edited — To obtain data, during a 30-s period, the water that accumulated in a container
was weighed.
45
Original — 8.034 x 1019 Edited — 8.034 × 1019 Original — The percent differences in the coefficients for the orifice meter and the
venturi meter are 0.09 % and 8.11 % respectively. Edited — The coefficients for the orifice and venturi meters differ from literature values
by 0.09% and 8.11%, respectively. Original — The average values of the relative roughness and the roughness for each pipe
are shown in Table 4. Edited — For each pipe, Table 4 shows the average relative roughness and roughness. Original — The loss of structural strength occurs for some metals at very low
temperatures. Edited — For some metals, structural strength is lost at very low temperatures. Original — The literature value of the second virial coefficient for helium at 273.15 K is
molm1016.13
5-× .
Edited — For helium at 273.15 K, the literature value of the second virial coefficient is 1.16×10–5 m3/mol.
Original — The average mass and heat transfer coefficients were calculated to be 0.1681
h·psi·ftlb2
m and 15.629 Fh··ft
Btuo2
respectfully.
Edited — The average mass and heat transfer coefficients were 0.168 lbm/(ft2·h·psi) and 15.6 Btu/(ft2·h·oF), respectively.
Original — The ideal gas approximation can be used for either gas at very low pressures.
At high pressures the compressibility factor is needed to correct for non-ideal behavior.
Edited — At very low pressures, the ideal gas approximation can be used for either gas. At high pressures, the compressibility factor is needed to correct for non-ideal behavior.
Original — The predetermined interval of time for this experiment was chosen to be a
minute. The drying rate is used later to determine the convective heat transfer coefficient for each temperature trial run. Equation 8 was used to calculate the drying rate for each trial.
Edited — For this experiment, the time interval was 1 min. For each temperature trial, Equation 8 was used to calculate the drying rate, which was used to determine the convective heat transfer coefficient.
46
Original — The Characteristic Drying Curve shows the different regions of drying
during the drying process, as seen in Figure 1. Edited — The characteristic drying curve shows the different regions during the drying
process (Figure 1). Original — Thermal energy from the heating chamber is transferred heated air to the
sponge by forced convection. The water from the sponge evaporates to the atmosphere.
Edited — By forced convection, thermal energy transfers from the hot air to the wet sponge causing water to evaporate.
Original — For each drying run the mass and heat transfer coefficients, humidity,
moisture content as a function of time, drying rate as a function of time, sponge temperature as a function of time, and drying rate as a function of moisture content were calculated.
Edited — During each drying run, the following measurements were made: (1) mass and heat transfer coefficients, (2) humidity, (3) moisture content as a function of time, (4) drying rate as a function of time, (5) sponge temperature as a function of time, and (6) drying rate as a function of moisture content.
Original — Heat and mass transfer coefficients specific to the period of constant drying
rate were calculated for each run performed. Edited — For each constant-drying-rate period, heat and mass transfer coefficients were
calculated. Original — The other runs were stopped after the constant drying rate lasted 15 minutes
and the sponge temperature remained constant for 5 to 10 minutes determined by using the data plots.
Edited — The other runs were stopped after the constant-drying-rate period, which lasted 15 min. During this period, the sponge temperature remained constant for 5 to 10 min.
Original — The runs were performed at the following temperatures: 170oF, 180oF,
190oF, 200oF, 210oF, and 220oF. Edited — The runs were performed at the following temperatures: 170, 180, 190, 200,
210, and 220oF. Original — The article includes a video which describes the events of the dust explosion
at the Imperial Sugar Company. Edited — The article includes a video that describes the dust explosion at the Imperial
Sugar Company.
47
Original — The complete drying rate curve has four regions included in the graph. The
first area of the curve is Region I, which is where the sponge reaches the temperature of the wet bulb temperature of the air. Region II is the next area of the curve, which is known as the constant drying rate period. During this time the drying rate stays roughly about the same and does not drop drastically. This region is where the majority of the data was collected. Region III is known as the first falling rate period. The drying rate will drastically drop since the water is being transported to the surface at a slower rate and is not evaporating as fast. Region IV is known as the second falling rate period. The vaporization during this region is not at the surface of the sponge but takes place inside the sponge.
Edited — The complete drying rate curve has four regions:
• Region I (initial-transient-drying period)—The sponge reaches the wet-bulb temperature of the air.
• Region II (constant-drying-rate period)—The drying rate stays roughly constant and is the region where most data are collected.
• Region III (first-falling-rate period)—The drying rate decreases drastically because the water slowly transports to the surface and does not evaporate rapidly.
• Region IV (second-falling-rate period)—Vaporization does not occur at the sponge surface; rather, it occurs inside the sponge.
Original — A psychrometic chart like that displayed in Figure 1 allows calculation of the
relative humidity from knowledge of dry and wet bulb temperatures. Edited — From dry- and wet-bulb temperatures, the psychrometic chart (Figure 1) allows
the relative humidity to be calculated.
Original — Point (X2,R2) is the first critical point. Edited — Point (X2, R2) is the first critical point. Original — Temperatures were maintained at desired values via the temperature
controller which uses a pneumatic valve to regulate steam flow rate to the heating coils. Regulating the steam flow rate enabled the creation of constant temperature environments.
Edited — The controller maintains the constant-temperature environment using a pneumatic valve to regulate steam flow to the heating coils.
Original — Plots of these drying rates over time, as well as plots of sponge temperature
over time, are shown to illustrate the relationship between sponge temperature and drying rate (Figures 10-21).
Edited —The drying rates and sponge temperatures with respect to time are plotted in Figures 10–21.
Original — The heat and mass transfer coefficients were not expected to be temperature
dependent. The coefficients were similar enough to lead the group to conclude that the sponge should have exhibited constant values for each.
Edited — The heat and mass transfer coefficients do not depend strongly on temperature.
48
Original — Equation 5 can be rearranged to the following:
)-(dd-
WGc TTA
tw
hλ
=
The dw/dt term for each temperature, explained in the previous sections, can be found in Appendix B. The λ term is the latent heat of vaporization of water. The A term is the surface area of the sponge. TG and TW correspond to the dry bulb air temperature and wet bulb air temperature, respectively.
Edited — Equation 5 can be rearranged as follows:
)-(
λ-
WGc TTA
dtdw
h =
where
dw/dt = drying rate (lbm/h) (see Appendix B) λ = latent heat of vaporization for water (Btu/lbm) A = sponge surface area (ft2) TG = dry- bulb air temperature (oF) TW = wet-bulb air temperature (oF) hc = heat transfer coefficient (Btu/(h·ft2·oF))
Original — The ratio Pr-1/Pr was plotted as a function of Pr-1. Edited — The ratio Pr–1/Pr was plotted as a function of Pr–1. Original — The inside film heat transfer coefficient (hi) was calculated. Edited — The inside film heat transfer coefficient hi was calculated. Original — The group measured the inside film heat transfer coefficient hi to be 514
Btu/(h·ft·oF). Edited — The experimental inside film heat transfer coefficient is 514 Btu/(h·ft2·oF). Original — The system was configured so that cell B was filled with gas from cell A. Edited — The system was configured so that Cell B was filled with gas from Cell A. Original — Since Z = 1 at the limit of zero pressure, the y-intercept of this plot is
(P0/Z0). Edited — Because Z = 1 at the limit of zero pressure, the y-intercept of this plot is P0/Z0. Original — The y-intercept of this plot, 1968.8 was the value P0/Z0. Edited — The y-intercept of this plot (1970 psia) is P0/Z0.
49
Original — The compressibility factor, Z, remained approximately one throughout the
experiment for He. Edited — Throughout the He experiment, the compressibility factor Z remained
approximately 1.0. Original — Carbon dioxide is composed of atoms of two different element, while helium
is a simpler molecule containing only one atom. Edited — Carbon dioxide is composed of two different atoms, whereas helium is
composed of only one atom and hence is much simpler. Original — The vacuum pump shown in Figure 13 slowly evacuated the apparatus,
indicating to Group IV that the cells may not have been sufficiently cleared of molecules.
Edited — The vacuum pump (Figure 13) slowly evacuated the apparatus, so the cells may not have been sufficiently cleared.
Original — Group IV experienced difficulty when attempting to set the gas regulator,
shown in Figure 15, to the required pressure. Edited — It was difficult to set the gas regulator (Figure 15) to the required pressure. Original — The calculated values for the coefficients for the venturi and orifice meters
are shown in Table 1. Edited — Table 1 shows the coefficients calculated for the venturi and orifice meters. Original — Values of friction factors for different flow rates in each section of the
network are shown in Table 2 and Table 3. Edited — Tables 2 and 3 show friction factors for different flow rates in each section of
the network. Original — The experimental value of the venture coefficient shows a percent difference
of 4.97 % from the theoretical value of 0.98 for universal venturi coefficients. Edited — The experimental venturi coefficient differs by only 4.97% from the literature
value of 0.98. Original — Values for the actual equivalent length of fittings for different flow rates are
shown in Table 5 and Table 6. Edited — For different flow rates, Tables 5 and 6 show equivalent lengths of fittings. Original — Several pressure drop readings, for various flow rates, were made throughout
the apparatus to collect data for the fittings, orifices, and pipes. Edited — For various flow rates, pressure drops were measured for the fittings, orifices,
and pipes. Original — A fluid flow apparatus was implemented for this experiment. The actual
apparatus and a schematic of the apparatus are shown below. Edited — Figure 2 shows the fluid flow apparatus employed in this experiment.
50
Original — In order to analyze the effect of friction on fluid flow various calculations were required. This section details orifice and venturi coefficient, pipe friction factor, and equivalent length calculations.
Edited — To analyze the effect of friction on fluid flow, the sample calculation section describes the following: orifice and venturi coefficients, pipe friction factors, and equivalent lengths.
Original — Due to the nature of the flow created by a pump, water levels on the
manometers were constantly changing. These changes did not affect the pressure differences displayed by the manometers, but did make it more difficult to accurately record them.
Edited — Because of the dynamic nature of the pumped flow, manometer water levels constantly changed, making it difficult to accurately record them.
Original — The average fanning friction factor for the two-foot 3/8-in diameter pipe,
five-foot 3/8-in diameter pipe, and five-foot 1/2-in diameter pipe were calculated to be .00705, .00837 and .00610 respectively.
Edited — The average Fanning friction factors for the 2-ft-long, 3/8-in-diameter; 5-ft-long, 3/8-in-diameter; and 5-ft-long, 1/2-in-diameter pipes were 0.00705, 0.00837, and 0.00610, respectively.
Original — When Z is equal to one, at the limit of zero pressure, the y-intercept in a plot
of PrKr as a function of Pr is P0/Z0. Edited — In a plot of PrKr vs. Pr, as Pr → 0 then Z → 1.0 and the y-intercept is P0/Z0. Original — Two major conclusions can be drawn from the experimental results. First,
the consistency in the apparatus constant from both the carbon dioxide and helium calculations validates the experimental procedure. This similarly justifies the accuracy of the results. Secondly, carbon dioxide is concluded to exhibit non-ideal gas behavior while helium exhibits ideal gas behavior. These conclusions are drawn by comparing the changes in compressibility factors and fugacity as a function of pressure for the two gases.
Edited — Two major conclusions can be drawn from the experiment: (1) the apparatus constants for both carbon dioxide and helium are identical, which validates the experimental procedure; and (2) based on compressibility factors and fugacity coefficients, carbon dioxide exhibits non-ideal gas behavior whereas helium exhibits ideal gas behavior.
Original — These techniques include the use of Prato charts to determine the primary
injury types, recordable incidents, as defined by the Occupational Safety and Health Act, and tracking of first-aid injuries.
Edited — These techniques include the following: (1) using charts to determine primary injury types; (2) recording incidents, as defined by the Occupational Safety and Health Act; and (3) tracking first aid injuries.
Original — The calculated mass transfer film coefficient were between 0.12 and 0.14
(lbmol/(h·ft2·psi)). Edited — The calculated mass transfer film coefficients were 0.12–0.14 lbmol/(h·ft2·psi).
51
Original — Assuming steady state conditions, the heat required for the evaporation of
water is balanced with the heat transferred from the air. Edited — At steady-state conditions, the latent heat of evaporation is balanced by the
sensible heat transferred from the air. Original — Based the observation on the experimental data plot on Moody Diagram, the
Relative Roughness, Dε ,was estimated.
Edited — The relative roughness ε/D was estimated by plotting experimental data on the Moody diagram.
Original — Only one data set was collected for the venturi meter coefficient because data
was not collected on the first day of the experiment. The results are summarized in Table 7.
Edited — For the venturi meter, only one data set was collected; Table 7 summarizes the results.
Original — The short distance between the initial pressure reading point and the 90o
change in direction of flow did not allow the fluid enough time to reach fully-developed turbulent flow at low velocities.
Edited — The short distance between the pressure tap and the 90o elbow did not allow enough time to reach fully developed flow.
Original — Temperatures at the inlet and outlet were allowed to reach steady-state. Edited — Inlet and outlet temperatures were allowed to reach steady state. Original — The steady state temperature of the concentric tube heat exchanger operating
in counter-current mode was 145oF. Edited — In countercurrent mode, the steady-state temperature of the concentric-tube
heat exchanger was 145oF. Original — Figure 1: Description of Counter-current and Parallel Flow in
Concentric Tube Heat Exchanger Edited — Figure 1 Description of countercurrent and parallel flow in concentric-tube
heat exchanger. Original — To perform the calculations to find the heat and mass transfer coefficients,
the group tabulated the experimental data for each run using Excel. Edited — To calculate the heat and mass transfer coefficients for each run, the
experimental data were tabulated using Excel.
52
Proofreading and Revision Symbols
You may find the following list useful when you review comments made on graded reports by your instructor or teaching assistants. If you need additional information, refer to The St. Martin’s Handbook.
delete dev development needed close up; delete space dm dangling modifier ¶ begin new paragraph doc documentation insert here or make
superscript (N2) fr sentence fragment
insert here or make subscript (N2)
fs fused sentence
insert comma lc set in lowercase letters / = / insert hyphen ref unclear pronoun reference transpose run-on run-on sentence X obvious error (typo) sh shift (in tense, mood, voice,
person and number, tone and diction)
// faulty parallelism sp spelling agr agreement trans transition awk awkward vague vague statement cap set in CAPITAL letters vt verb tense cs comma splice wrdy wordy def define ww wrong word
53
Suggested Readings
AMA Style Notes. The Writer’s Guide to Research Style and Format; 2004. Available at www.docstyles.com. Accessed July 14, 2005.
Dodd JS, ed. The ACS Style Guide: A Manual for Authors and Editors. 2nd ed.
Washington, D.C.: American Chemical Society; 1997. Hacker D. A Writer's Reference. 5th ed. New York, NY: St. Martin's Press; 2003. Lunsford A, Connors R. The St. Martin's Handbook. 5th ed. New York , NY: St.
Martin's Press; 2003. Mathes JC, Stevenson DW. Designing Technical Reports: Writing for Audiences in
Organizations. New York, NY: Macmillan; 1991. Reep DC. Technical Writing: Principles, Strategies, and Readings. 2nd ed. Boston,
MA: Allyn and Bacon; 1994. Tebeaux E. Design of Business Communications: The Process and the Product. New York , NY: Macmillan; 1990.
Literature Cited
1. Bataille RR. Writing in the World of Work: What Our Graduates Report. CCC. 1982; 32: 276-80.
2. Barnum C, Fischer R, Engineering Technologists as Writers: Results of a Survey.
Technical Communications. Second Quarter, 1984: 9-11. 3. Shetty SA, Kantak MV, Kelkar BG. Gas-Phase Backmixing in Bubble-Column
Reactors. AIChE J. 1992; 38: 1013. 4. AMA Style Notes. The Writer’s Guide to Research Style and Format; 2004.
Available at www.docstyles.com. Accessed July 14, 2005. 5. Garrett L. The Coming Plague. New York, NY: Penguin; 1994.
