Argosy October 1, 2009

8/6/2019 Argosy October 1, 2009

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OPINIONS

e SACs democratic deficitNew SAC policies stifle free speech among students and threatens impartiality

e Students Administrative

Council (SAC) elections are always a

complicated affair for me. On the one

hand, the election of our peers from

a student body of roughly only 2200

students is an amazingly personal and

engaging opportunity; on the other

hand, given typical election turnout,

between half and three quarters of

university students disagree with me.

Personally, I believe the SAC to be

a very important part of the student

experience here. I know from first-hand experience that a lot of hard

work goes on behind the scenes to

make this organization work for

students.e SACs housing directory

helped me find the house Im currently

living in, their academic enrichment

programme has helped fund many

of the conferences my friends and I

wouldnt have otherwise attended, and

theyve taken a stand on issues such as

equitable tuition rates. All of this to

say, I have tremendous respect for the

SAC and the role they play.

With this in mind, Im concerned

for the SAC. Given lacklustre voter

turnout and general student apathy,

the SAC is perennially faced with the

task of justifying its relevance to the

student body. For many, the SAC is

at best irrelevant, at worst, an annual

waste of seventy-five dollars. No issue

better foments this problem than a

Stephen MiddletonArgosy Staff

presidential election.

Take the current bevy of candidates

for example. In as many words, each

of them has stated that if theyre

elected theyll make the SAC work for

students and increase accountability.ese are lofty ideals; its too bad

theyve been played out in one of

the most acrimonious and personal

electoral campaigns Ive seen in my

four years here as a student.

Over the course of this electoral

campaign Ive had the chance to see

candidates attacked on personal issues,

there have been members of campaign

teams posing questions deliberately

to embarrass opponents, and not least

of all, the current SAC executive have

made no secret of their presidential

favourites.

To be fair, none of these concerns

are against the SAC rules. In a policy

they very recently enacted April of

For many, the SAC is atbest irrelevant, at worst, anannual waste of seventy-

five dollars.

last year the SAC has profoundly

changed the way elections are handled

here. One of the most striking changes

is the introduction of campaign

teams. A campaign team is to be

a group of people whose names are

given to the Chief Returning Officer;

membership on said list entitles one to

actively campaign for their particular

candidate. Barring having your name

on the list, any campaigning for a

candidate is considered a contravention

of the SAC Election Act (SAC

Election Act, Schedule 6.2).

In addition to being a violation of

my fundamental freedom of speech as

guaranteed by the Charter of Rights

and Freedoms, this puzzling piece

of legislation in my eyes takes

something away from the accessibility

of the election. e requirement to

belong to a candidates campaign team

in order to have an electoral opinion

ultimately ensures that people and

popularity, not ideas, will win the day

in this electoral debate.

Further muddying the waters is

the SACs decision to remove the

requirement that SAC executives

cannot actively campaign. Discovering

their electoral hands untied, this years

executive have wasted no time in both

actively promoting and denouncing

their candidates of choice. While

the endorsement of candidates by

elected officials has a long and storied

tradition in the real world, Im not

convinced its a good idea here. For

better or for worse, this is a small

school that can very quickly become

very personal. Depending on who wins

this presidential election, the SAC

executives will soon find themselves

in a position where they are required

to form a team that will work to

represent We the Student Body. If the

process of electioneering for their pet

candidate splinters that team, they will

have failed their mandate and failed

the greater student body. Last, but

certainly not least, I hope any of them

who expressed an electoral opinion

remembered to register themselves to

a campaign team.

In the end, a SAC election is

about giving students the chance to

determine for themselves who they

would like to be their voice. For the

SAC, there is no more important

opportunity than this.

In changing the rules of the election,

the SAC council has silenced the voice

of the individual student and given a

megaphone to those who should best

remain neutral.

Most of us have been in that terrible

situation where youre in a room

full of people you dont know. Not

one familiar face to be found. If you

havent experienced such an awkwardpredicament, youre either a liar or

incredibly lucky. Either way, most first-

years experience the terror of meeting

new people, desperately, and fervently

trying to attain new friendships that

will supposedly last a lifetime.

Moving across the country to

a school not one of my friends

had heard of, let alone considered

attending, I was placed in such an

environment. Of course, I had met

various people via Facebook (which

just increases the awkward factor. Its

rather embarrassing to glance around

the room and spot the people youve

been Facebook stalking for a few

weeks prior). For the most part, I was

completely on my own, forced into the

very social situation that irks me to the

nth degree: meeting new people.

During our first few weeks here at

Mount A, I devised a sort of rule-

book for meeting new people and

potential friends. It consisted of

various questions and techniques

planned out in my head, all of which I

would follow upon meeting a similarly

awkward person, who appeared to bedesperate for the same kind of social

interaction.

Step 1: Begin with Hi Im ___

*insert name here*____ whats your

name?

Crucial aspect: Said person must

be accessible. If he or she is in a large

group and is seemingly ignoring you,

look away. Utilize your cell phone

by pretending to check something

or send a random text message to

eliminate awkward lingering. Pretend

to look around for another person.

Better yet, pretend you are waiting for

a fr iend. Twist your hair nervously, bite

your lip, and/or just pretend to be off

in your own little world. Chances are,

most people around you will be doing

the same.

Best-case scenario: talk to another

lonesome individual like yourself.

Step 2: Once they reply appropriately

(hopefully stating their name),

memorize it. Its terribly embarrassing

to forget the persons name a few mere

seconds after having met them.

Step 3:en add, Nice to meet you

with a lovely smile.Step 4: Ask the basic questions,

retaliating appropriately with the

inevitable question, what about

you?:

1) What year are they in?

2) Where are they living?

3) Where are they from?

4) What are they studying?

5) What classes are they taking?

Step 5: Last but not least, expand.

Do they like their residence? Why did

they choose Mount A? Which class

do they least enjoy? Have they found

their meal hall crush?

I have had at least 100 of these exact

conversations already. It is getting to

be quite tedious, yet very successful.

Freshmans survival guide to meet-ing new people

Kate PatersonArgosy Contributor

Got something to say?Write Op-Ed [email protected]

Internet Photo/About


8/32

8 OCTOBER 1, 2009THE ARGOSY OPINIONS

What is one of the best kept secrets in Sackville?

Catherine Lapointe

e broken bridge. Ithink there are a fewpeople who know aboutit. For the people whodont it is worth seeingespecially at night.(Located at the veryend of Bridge st., cul-de-sac)

Lauren Ledwell

I would say the extensionof the Waterfowl Park,on the other side ofthe highway, and Melscheeseburgers.

Danielle Leroux

is summer myfriends and I walkeddown to Silver Lake.Along the way thereare many abandonedbuildings includingan old school house.

When we went a localcame and taught ussome history about thebuilding.

Domenic Watson-Wall

Everybody should checkout a concert at theSackville Music Hall onBridge st. (e Yellowdoor and a few feet downfrom the Bridge StreetCaf)

Tom Cushnie:

All the rooftopsin Sackville areeasily accessible andenjoyed!

Valeska Mengert

I would have to saySushi on Tuesdays atthe Cackling Gooseand Alipers Hearth.e shitake mushroomsushi is very good.(Buisness across fromConvocation Hall)

Photos by Jessica Emin

It is incredible the support that Mount

Allison rugby receives every fall. As

a club team, to be recognized and

promoted within the Mount Allison

community is hugely rewarding.

Unfortunately, sometimes in the effort

to assist our cause, our relationship withthe school, athletic funding and other

athletes becomes misunderstood. I

cannot speak on behalf of the other 70

members of the Mount Allison RFC, I

can only reflect and comment on what

I know for certain. We receive a great

amount of funding from the athletic

department each year, paying for much

of our transportation, referees and a

multiple of other things, and we are far

from neglected financially. Honestly,

we could not compete without the

time, money and effort put forth by

the athletic department each year, and

for that we are grateful.

In regards to the cartoon put

forth into this years first Argosy,

one depicting a comparison betweenthe rugby and football teams, I must

admit I laughed. It is always nice to

be recognized as a winning team, and

have appreciation within the student

body. However, as with any witty

comment, it often doesnt depict the

complete story. e football team has

been some of our biggest supporters

as long as I have been here. Attending

our games, donating to our fundraisers

and at times supplying some of our

Dear Editor,

Tall Angry Blonde

Youre always wearing your

headphones and a pissed off face.

Im not sure if youre always angry

or if thats just the way your face

looks. Maybe I can give you a hug

sometime.

Eco Hottie

You love turning the lights out and

conserving heat. Maybe we can

snuggle up together over a mug of

fair trade organic shade-grown coffeeand talk about David Suzuki.

Stephen Lewis Questioner

You asked the question that I wish I

was brave enough to ask. anks for

having the courage to get up there.

Funky Rain Boots

I loved watching you walk down the

street puddle jumping during the

rain. You looked like you were having

so much fun and it totally made my

day. anks for reminding me that

its OK to act like a kid sometimes.

Lab Partner

anks for helping me out the other

day. I was in such a tizzy and you

really calmed me down. I couldnt

ask for a better lab partner.

Pub Savior

I was way too drunk at the Pub the

other night and you saved me withthe glass of water. I would have had

a terrible morning without that.

Maybe next time I can buy you a

drink to say thanks.

Boy on Crutches

I honestly thought you were someone

else. Im sorry you broke your leg and

I hope youre feeling better soon!

best players, we hold nothing against

them and hope they feel the same.

Both teams understand how difficult

it is to build a team up from a small

undergraduate school that cycles

students through on a four (or in some

cases five) year program. Although thecartoon was intended to advocate the

recent success of club rugby, the two

programs are incomparable, and it is

thoughtless to mock the hard work of

a team that has supported us so much

in previous years. So thank you to the

anonymous artist, but your illustration

does not reflect the collective opinion

of the Mount Allison RFC.

Sincerely,

Samantha Wolfe

Ian Crowford

Missed@MTASend us your stories,

Connect with your Meal Hall crush,shout out to your favorite stranger,rant about the guy who never turns

offhis cell!

If you think one of the stories mightbe about you, send us an email at

[email protected] and well put you intouch!


9/32

9OCTOBER 1, 2009 THE ARGOSY OPINIONS

When American President Barack

Obama finished his inspiring and

rousing speech to the UN General

Assembly, I thought to myself, who

could possibly follow this act? Well,I wasnt disappointed. e leader

of Libya, Colonel Gaddafi, spoke

to the General Assembly for about

100 minutes. But while CNN has

sanctimoniously called Libyas leader

Gaddafi Duck, and the National Post

refers to his speech as a long rant,

what can we take from it, if anything

at all?

Gaddafi was skeptical that the

UN Charter ensured the equality

of member states. He said that the

states that we thought would repel

aggression to protect peoples turned

out to the ones that used aggressive

force while enjoying the veto. Is this

statement ludicrous or irresponsible?

I dont think so he cited cases like

Grenada, Vietnam, and Iraq. As we

saw with Iraq, the US used the UN asa vessel of invasion and abandoned it

when the UN resisted.

Gaddafi was also critical of the

UN Security Council. He viewed

the nuclear criteria for the Security

Council as irresponsible. is is when

Gaddafi made his controversial remark

that equated the Security Council to a

terrorist council. S o what is Gaddafis

solution? Re-evaluate the composition

of the entire Security Council so thatit reflects the entire world rather than

the worlds nuclear club. He suggested

permanent seats for the EU, ASEAN,

African Union, Latin American

Union, and a Forum for Small States.

Interestingly enough, Gaddafi also

recommended that the US and Russia

maintain their seats on the council.

Gaddafi called for inquiries into

some of the sixty-five wars which

have broken out since the UN was

established more than sixty years ago.

He went on to say it proved that its

founding principles had been betrayed.

To strengthen his point, he slightly

ripped the UN Charter and later threw

it on the floor. He went on, Firstly

the invasion of Iraq itself is a violation

of the charter. It is unjustified. Iraq is

an independent state and member ofthe general assembly. Why should it

be invaded? Where was the charter?

I think that if countries are a part of

the UN, then they accept the charter

unconditionally. And yet, there were

no repercussions for the US and UK

who sit on the Security Council and

went to war illegally.

One should always remember that

the media will pick up on the juicier

stories surrounding Gaddafis speech.And while Im not ignorant to the

fact Gaddafi talked about jet lag, the

JFK assassination, and compensation

for Africa totaling $77.7 trillion, he

made some valid points and reasonable

suggestions. I believe that his ideas

about reforming the Security Council

and the veto powers of these states

should be taken very seriously.

Gaddafis speech caused some

rebuke, some applause, and some

to leave the general assembly. But

at least this is a reaction! Its time

that the UN change its institutions

to reflect the changing groups and

societies in the world. Inaction has

been a characteristic of the UN far too

long and it risks total irrelevance at a

time when it could be most relevant.

Gaddafi gets the last word: Terrorismis not only the terrorism of Al-Qaeda,

the status quo is terrorism.

Gaddafi made a point or twoJohn BrannenArgosy Contributor

Do of the Week...

Fashion at Mt. A

Name: Gregory PikeProgram: Major in English, Minor in MathTell us about what youre wearing: Im wearing boat shoeswhich I bought this summer specifically for the purpose ofnot wearing so many socks.e hat is a Cleveland Indianshat. I am also a fan of the Washington Redskins and theBlackhawks. All else was picked up off the floor of myroom. I have two mountains of clothing and sometimes Iforget which one is clean and which on is dirty.

Who or what influences your style?: I have no influencesthat I can think of but I admire the look of crusty punksand bikers from the 70s. e two [styles] I dont like oncampus are how people adopt a slumber party aesthetic ofwearing sweatpants, that and the hippies.

On the evening of September 7, I was

sitting in Convocation Hall, innocently

listening to an amazing inspirational

speaker, Drew Dudley. When the

man finished his moving speech, I felt

uplifted as I walked out int o the lobby.

is feeling soon evaporated as I saw

a Bigelow exec, standing in the lobbyscreaming for all Bigelownians to meet

another exec directly outside the hall.

As some of us attempt to flee, we are all

caught outside in a herd of first years,

awaiting an interesting, unforgettable

night. Once we are all gathered

outside, two execs lead us frosh back

to residence, with megaphones blaring,

ordering us to cheer our loudest the

whole walk back.

As soon as we turn the corner onto

Bigelow turf, we are ambushed with

execs and upper class men armed with

water guns. Someone in the chaos is

screaming that we have five minutes

to change into clothes we will never

wear again. We all run frantically to

our rooms to change. inking of

clothes I could sacrifice, I put on a pair

of shorts and a t-shirt, not thinking

about the wind-chill in Sackville at 9

pm in September. About two minutes

later, people are running through

my hallway rushing us outside. I am

warned not to wear shoes so, foolishly,

I go barefoot. Walking through the

doors I am met with a rush of ice coldwind, but thats nothing compared to

the cold I am about to feel.

I look in front of me at the flock of

freshman doing jumping jacks on the

hill in front of our residence. I join

them. At first I hide somewhere in the

back as the front row is getting soaked

with water among other liquids, being

shot from water-guns, hoses, and just

dumped on from buckets. I soon realize

that this night could go one of two

ways, I could sit in the back and mope

as these ridiculous people who are

for the most part only one year older

than myself - scream orders at me, or

I could get even. I decide to jump in

front and scream Is that all youve

got?!is quickly grabs the attention

of an upperclassman with a hose, so I

become the object of humiliation and

entertainment.

Directly following the jumping

jacks, we are forced to scream Bigelow

cheers at the top of our lungs, while

our president explains the rules of an

obstacle course. We pair up, and get in

line for an adventure.e first stop is abucket, which we are told is filled with

rocks and shells, where we have to find

a die. I found it peculiar that we never

found the die, and was later told by an

upperclassman that there was no die,

only green dye meant to dye our hands

green. Luckily that plan failed. Next

stop was a trivia station. Whichever

partner answered the question correctly

got to pour a cup of apple juice on the

others head. Unfortunately, I was a

little late screaming the colours of our

house, green and black, so I can now

say I know what it feels like to have

hair soaked in la jus de pomme. Next

is my personal favourite, a kiddie pool

filled with no less than water, pasta,

dog food, and coffee grinds. Each

partner is told to locate three small

plastic dinosaurs. I only ever found

one but fortunately my partner pulled

us through again.

e last event was the slip-n-slide,

although this was no regular slip-n-

slide. We slid across a plastic canvas

covered in honey, syrup, and fruit

punch; the second we stood up wehad feathers thrown on us. After the

obstacle course was completed, we

were made to stand on a hill waiting

for the rest of frosh to complete their

tasks, all the while chanting Bigelow

cheers of course. is is when the

upperclassmen take joy in spraying us

with apple juice, fruit punch, honey,

and other wonderful liquids. One of

them came up to the frosh and asked,

How long have you been here frosh?!

and my initial reaction in revenge was,

Not long enough! I quickly realized

this wasnt the best response as I was

immediately put on some sort of frosh

hit-list, but I hid myself well among

the other feather-covered freshman.

After taking the Bigelow oath, we

were all accepted as true Bigelownians,

and it was well worth the fight.

I know that the process of initiation

is controversial, because it can be a bit

intense. But I think that initiation is

an activity that really brings the house

together! I know that when I came

back into Bigelow covered in honey

and who knows what else and I sawgirls hiding in the bathroom, I felt so

terrible for them. Not because they

wouldnt have to take an hour long

shower to rid themselves of the remains

of initiation, but because it really

helped the house bond. It really made

me feel like I was a part of something,

and that I had earned the privilege to

be there. So for anyone who missed

out on their initiation, jump in on next

years because I guarantee it will be an

experience you will never forget!

Sincerely,

Jennifer Boyce

Some thoughts on initiation...

Internet Photo/Henry Jackson Society


10/32

10 OCTOBER 1, 2009THE ARGOSY OPINIONS

ANNOUNCEMENTS AND CLASSIFIEDSursday, September 31

7:00 PM e Study of Humour

Wu Centre

What makes humour funny?

Dr. Taylor will discuss what

representations oflanguage can teach

us about the structure of humour, andhow computationalstudies can give us

insight into something quintessentially

human.e talkwill introduce humour

as an interdisciplinary research field,

mature in somedisciplines, and wide

open in others. e talk will then

address humour fromthe artificial

intelligence perspective, discussing the

meaning-based approachto humour

in text, difficulties of computational

detection of humour, and describing

some approaches to humour

recognition. Contact: Andrew

Hamilton-Wright, (506) 364 2539,

[email protected]

7:00 PM Mysterious China: Opening

Exhibit

Avard Dixon G12

Hosted by Ron Byrne, Dr. Owen

Griffiths, and the Chinese Student

Association. Followed by a showing

of Wild China from 8:00 10:00 PM.

Contact: Yazhe Jing(Vera), yjing@

mta.ca

Friday, October 1

7:00 PM Relay for Life

Mt. A Academic Quad

e Canadian Cancer Societys 7th

annual Relay for Life in Sackville,

NB. Be part of the 12 hour Relay that

is helping to make cancer history! For

more information visit: www.cancer.ca

Contact: Deanne Tucker:

[email protected]

7:00 PM Mountie Head Shave

Mt. A Academic Quad

Football players will shave their

heads to raise money for the Canadian

CancerSociety and Relay for Life.

You can give pledges in Gracies Cafe

or JenningsHall at meal times from

September 14-18, or on the night of.

Sponsor a certainplayer and come out

to the event to see the results! Contact:

Lindsey Cox, [email protected]

7:00 PM Vespers

University Chapel

A non-denominational service ofworship in music and spoken and the

spoken word open to the campus and

community.

Monday, October 4

7:30 PM Cinema Politica

Avard Dixon G12

Film Screening of King Corn, a

feature documentary about two friends,

one acre of corn and the subsidized

crop that drives their fast-food nation.

When they try to follow their pile

of corn into the food system, what

they find raises troubling questions

about how we eat and how we farm.

Contact: Sarah, 364-3200, skardash@

mta.ca

Tuesday, October 5

4:00 PM Canada Council Author

Reading Tamas Dobozy

Owens Gallery

Award-winning short story

writer Tamas Dobozy reads from

his collection and from new work.Everyone welcome. Contact: Christl

Verduyn [email protected]

7:00 PM - e Hero in the Garden

Crake Lectures 2009-2010

Owens Gallery Second Floor

Professor Kampen will examine an

unusual portrait of a young boy that

was discovered in the garden of the

grand villa at Oplontis, not far from

Pompeii. She is interested to know

whether we can better understand

his appearance and placement in the

garden through the classical concept

of the hero and will argue that the

relationship between Greek and

Roman artistic and cultural ideas

underlies what could be seen as a case

study in creative reinterpretation.

Wednesday, October 6

7:30 PM Artists Talk, Terrance Houle

Owens Art Gallery

Calgary-based First Nations artist

Terrance Houle will give a talk atthe Owens about his art practice.

Houle works in many media and deals

primarily with issues of stereotyping

and cultural identity. All are welcome

to attend.

Contact: Sara Williamson, 364-2574,

[email protected]

8:00 PM Juan Martin, Flamenco

Guitar

Brunton Auditorium

Celebrated flamenco guitar virtuoso

Juan Martn will perform with a

singer and dancer for an unforgettable

evening of Spanish music at its best.

Contact: Margaret Ann Craig, 364-

2662 (voice mail only), performarts@

mta.ca

I am a hesitant donor. When it comes

to donating blood, I often hesitate as

I consider whether I am willing to

hold offon another piercing or tattoo.

During clothing drives, I am never

quite sure if I want to let go of that

sweater that hasnt seen daylight in

a year, but is endearing nonetheless.

I tend not to put much weight in

televised charity promotions, as I am

never quite sure where my money

would be going.

It is not that I do not like donating

these things. In fact, I find myself a

great deal happier after these acts.

However, my hesitation remains. Callit societal-borne cynicism or personal

paranoia, but I am hesitant to give

when our world has made a game out

of taking.

Ill unapologetically admit that

when I do manage to find a cause I am

comfortable with, I enjoy the thought

that I am helping out humanity in

my own small way. is week, I was

confronted with the suggestion that I

am not in fact helping, or at least not

enough.

e morning after Stephen Lewis

delivered his speech to a filled

Convocation Hall, one of my professors

spent the majority of our class time

speaking about our responsibility as

students to donate. While my personal

opinion on whether my professor

was right in expressing her views

during our class time (admittedly she

linked Lewis speech intelligently and

thoughtfully to our study material), I

find myself questioning the intention

of donating to a better cause.

Do we have a responsibility to

donate? Are we choosing to donate

based on reasons we discern to be

right? Or do we simply follow the

guidelines of a right life as set out by

those around us?

is dilemma also presents itself

when I consider the amount of

humanitarian organizations on campus.

Are students joining because they truly

believe in the cause represented by the

group, or are they simply looking for

another line on their rsum? I would

optimistically like to believe that all

students at Mount Allison join these

groups for the right reasons. In any

case I am not sure the reason because

its the right thing to do suffices any

longer.

I think the other dilemma raised

can be best posed as the question:

how much is too much? I know some

will be outraged outright and demand

that there is never such a thing as too

much. In some ways I agree. I believe

there can never be enough open-

minded and compassionate people

in the world who are willing to act

on the behalf of and for the better of

others. I do, however, question the act

of pushing too much.

e number of student chapters of

humanitarian organizations on campus

can be startling at times. e efforts of

the students and community members

of Mt. A and Sackville are phenomenal

and at the same time frustrating.

Going back for a moment to the

suggestions my professor gave my

classmates and I earlier this week,

I find myself struggling. After that

class, I felt shamed and inadequate.

I recognize this was more than likely

not the intent of my professor, but I

think that it is a hazard of such talks.

My professor even admitted to feeling

similarly after Lewis finished his talk.

is is a sad development that I

Globally aware, charitably responsible?

think has sprung up in response to

the general past unresponsive nature

of humanity. Despite having known

about global warming for years, we

are now running around heralding

the end of the world. Poverty and

unacceptable living conditions have

been a permanent fixture of humanity,

and yet now it is a state of emergency.

Extremism exists in every facet of

human society. Is the way to a better

society really to shame each other for

not doing enough? Should we be

shamed however publicly or privately

for not giving enough? After all,

what is enough? Because I choose to

primarily donate to local causes on a

very irregular basis, does that mean

I am in some way inadequate in the

global community?

Primarily I believe that the decision

to donate, whether it is in the form of

time, money, or materials, should be

Julie StephensonArgosy Staff

made because a person feels it is both

necessary and important.

I abhor any tactics that shove

causes in peoples faces, emphasize the

extremes, and demand action from all.

I do not believe in the phrase simple

donation. Have we now come to a

point in humanitarian action where we

will take anything we can get?

I hope not. I also hope that is not

a feeling people walked away from

Lewis speech with. In fact, I hope

people will think more critically about

their decisions and places in the global

community before they act. It would be

devastating to watch a world just throw

their cash in the global bucket without

thinking first. As Lewis said, it is all

about sufficient awareness, a sufficient

consciousness. Just remember that

the thought applies to each side, every

extreme, and all people.

Internet Photo/Flying Hall School


11/32


12/32

HUMOUR

Campus

Balderdash!

We find the obscure word, and yousupply the meaning. One of these is thecorrect definition, and the rest are madeup by your fellow classmates. Can youtell which ones right and which onesbalderdash??

Top Ten Ways To

Meet New People

Lindsay Laltoo

10. Pull the fire alarm in rez soeveryone is forced to mingle outdoorson the lawn. Even if you dont makeany new friends, youll at least get tocheck out the local firefighting crew.

9. Raid the laundry room and drapestolen undergarments on trees outside.When people come looking for theirintimates, strike up a conversation!(OMG I have the same thong as youLOL!)

8. Deposit yourself in the lost andfound and wait.

7. Bring delicious home baked cookiesto lab laced with addictive substancesto build attachments.

6. Advertise a get-together with cheeseand crackers at your place. Substituteget-together with intimate KanyeWest and Taylor Swift duet andcheese and crackers with free beerfor maximum response.

5. Go to the library and pretend youdont know how to use a computerto garner quick and speedy aid. Tryjabbing the mouse at the screenaggressively and whimperingincoherently.

4. Spread your hand with Super Glueand start high-fiving people.

3. Pose as an international student withshaky English skills so you can getpaired up with a tutor for the rest ofthe year (we and you be good friendsya?).

2. Contract H1N1 and spread it to

the rest of your dorm so you can bein quarantine together (like a giantsleepover with face masks!).

1. Write for Humour and Ill bake youbrownies (substance free!).

Stressed to Impress by Lindsay Laltoo

Erik Fraser

Argosy InAction by Lindsay Laltoo

e Word: Zugzwang

i. the term used to describe abumblebees haphazard flight patternsii. a dialect spoken in Ghanaiii. a really shitty chess moveiv. the highest scoring wordpossible in Scrabble

Answer: iii. Describing a situation in achess game where a player is forced tomake an undesirable move, as in Withno other options, my opponent hadcornered me in a zugzwang, that bitch.

Argosys Weekly Essay

Writing Tip

The purpose of writ-ing is to inflate weakideas, obscure purereasoning, and inhibitclarity. With a littlepratice, writing can bean intimidating andimpenetrable fog!

- Calvin and Hobbes


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13THE ARGOSY HUMOUROCTOBER 1, 2009

Moncton

6:45am Wake up. Realize yourealready running late.

7:01am Skip the shower, opting

instead for liberal use of the deodorantand a hat to hide greasy hair.

7:02am Note to self: buy strongerdeodorant.

7:05am No time for a completebreakfast, so you fashion a quickbreakfast wrap using last nights pizzaand a few spoonfuls of beef casserole.

7:10am Get into your car and startthe engine.ree warning lights flashon the dash and an incessant pingsounds. Search the car frantically forthe source.

7:12am Close the gas door. Get backinto the car and turn it on.e gas lightflickers.

7:13am Drive across town to pick upyour carpool buddy. Text them to letthem know youll be there in 5.

7:20am Idle your car outside yourcarpool buddys house. Rev the engineto passively alert them of your presencebefore beeping the horn.

7:24am Receive the text OMGrnnin l8. br out! ttys. Fume silently.

7:36am Carpool buddy emerges,immaculately dressed and smellinglike a fermented rosebush. Beginschattering nonstop about how sheslate because her boyfriend slept overand then commences describing all the

various positions he slept over in.

7:37am Grope frantically for noise-canceling radio on dash. Nothing is onbut the Jonas Brothers, French hip hop,and someone on the CBC discussingtea. Weigh your options and crank upthe tea talk.

7:42am Sit in traffic that hascome to a standstill as a road crewdoes construction. Eight men inhardhats mill about sipping coffee andchatting as one guy steers a backhoeabsentmindedly along a lane closed totraffic. Another bored looking womenholds a stop sign and talks on her cellphone. Carpool buddy bemoans howlucky she is to work with so many cute

guys.

7:58am Finally get on the highway.

Carpool buddy asks to stop for a latte.Remind her you have a class in 30

minutes and you wouldve had timeto stop for coffee if somebody wasntrunning so late.

8:01am Carpool buddy gets on hercell phone with her boyfriend anddescribes what a bitch her carpooldriver is being.

Sackville

8:25am Drop carpool buddy off infront of the McCain Building. Remindher she owes you gas money. She ohwow, completely and totally forgotabout that, ha ha ha, how silly of her,but you know she doesnt have herwallet on her and it s like ok if she getsthe money to you tomorrow right?

8:26am Carpool buddy disappearsinto a sea of students.

8:27am Park car by the football fieldand bolt to class in Flemington. Allthe good seats are taken, and youre leftin the back row beside the kid withasthma who wheezes with every breath.

8:28am Wheeeeze. Wheeeeze.Wheeeeze.

9:21am Class ends; realize you forgotthe assignment thats due in your nextat home. Panic descends.

9:25am Call your roommate at home,who after 48 rings answers in a lessthan chipper tone. Offer to do their

laundry for the next month if they canscan and email your assignment to youin the next 5 minutes.

9:28am Rush to the library anddistract a frosh with a candy bar so

you can steal the computer theyre on.Download and print your assignment.Run to class.

9:32am All the good seats are taken,but at least you have your assignment.Pass it in to the prof. Prof glances at it,and asks why you submitting a pictureof someones face contorted and pressedagainst the page.

9:33am Note to self: Burnroommates clothes.

In Class

4:19pm Your last lab of the day ends.Stomach growls. Your lab partnercomplains about having to walk all

the way home for supper. Try tosympathize with their plight, as theapartments by the pharmacy are at leasta 4 minute walk away.

4:20pm Stomach groans in agony.Ignore it and head to the library to redotodays assignment so you wont lose asmany marks.

7:47pm Finish assignment. Eyesare starting to twitch. Stomach hasresorted to eating your intestine. Dontbother texting carpool buddy, just headto your car.

7:53pm Your car windshield issporting a new horizontal crack. Onthe field, a couple football playersglance over innocently, and then resumethrowing passes to one another.

7:55pm- Get into your car and start

the engine. Gas needle rests on E. Coaxyour car into the nearest gas s tation and

fill it with the entire contents of yourwallet $11.53.

8:01pm Debate sleeping in yourcar in the parking lot to save gas.However the lack of edible products inyour backseat and your penniless selfconvinces you to drive home to supper.

8:02pm Get on the highway. Itscompletely dark. Your headlightsappear to be weakening. Try to forgethow many drivers are killed or injuredby moose wandering onto the highwayat night annually.

8:05pm Its 700.

Moncton

8:56pm Arrive at home. Youhead immediately for the kitchen.Roommate has conveniently clearedout the fridge and disappeared for thenight. You crack open a can of tuna andpair it with a healthy dose of ketchup.

9:22pm Fall asleep at the kitchencounter.

12:01am Roommate comes homeand finds you asleep in the kitchen.oughtfully drapes a blanket overyour slouched form, and then draws amustache on your face in permanentink.

6:43am You wake up, bleary-eyed. Asthings come into focus you look at your

watch. Youre late. Again.

Stressed to

Impress

(continued)

by Lindsay

Laltoo

Tales of a Commuting

Student

Jane MacBeath


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17THE ARGOSY FEATURESOCTOBER 1, 2009

here at hometivities flaunts it; a large portion of the

on is full of altruistic and humanitarian-tudents involved talking about it for this

onal Engagement?

Engaging clubs, and thestudents?Sasha Van KatwykArgosy Staff

It seems these days that our ideas of humanitarian organizations always have cynical

affiliations attached to them. Charity equals hand-outs. Aid organizations equal hand-

outs with more money. Foundation sounds incorporated; relief organization sounds

wrapped in bureaucratic red tape; anything addressing children sounds naive; anything

naming a country sounds over-extended.Of course, most organizations dont deserve this stig ma. However, this cynicism is telling

of legitimate concerns and debates that have arisen from an international community, a

community which is critically engaging with humanitarian assistance regimes.

Here at Mount Allison, the number of humanitarian organizations active on campus

is impressive by any measure. But how much does the student body critically engage with

our clubs?

Beyond whats stated on the SAC constitutions and what club execs can spill out at the

preliminary meeting, what do we know of our student clubs?

We know that Team (Michael J.) Fox raises money for Parkinsons and is famous for their

pancake breakfasts. Habitat, Global Medical Brigades, and Youth Jamaica send Allisonians

around the world to engage in their causes.

War Child raises funds and awareness on women and childrens rights in war zones

and has already planted mines across campus to make their point. Atlantic International

Studies Organization (ATLIS) presents and publishes student works and raises awareness

on international issues through things like the Stephen Lewis forum that occurred one day

before his lecture.

Shinerama and Relay for Life have their start-of-year events to raise important funds

for their causes. And WUSC hosts student refugees at Mt. A and raise awareness for the 8

Millennium Development Goals.

ats not even all the clubs on campus; locally-focused social justice groups would

expand the list twice over.

Its all well and good to have well-mandated organization chapters, but to what degree

does individual engagement and club accountability enter into the minds of the common

Allisonian?

One of the issues that has been discussed increasingly as it becomes more prevalent is

volun-tourism.is is the phenomenon wherein Western-based students pay an exorbitant

amount of money to go to the global south, where they can have expedited shock-and-awe

experiences that make for a great story, but have ultimately little substance.

Criticism of volunt-tourism can touch on the clubs that have some of their members

travel as part of their mandate. e debate becomes whether or not the experiences are

worth it, and to what degree the student must decide to truly immerse themselves in the

new realities around them.

Others criticize the large organizations with campus chapters such as UNICEF, Oxfam,

and War Child, arguing that these organizations use their recognized names and the all

of their resources to draw attention to huge issues, issues that a students donation wont

be able to affect. Meanwhile more locally-focused groups, which could invest their funds

towards more tangible goals, go unseen and under-funded.

e reverse argument could be that these big organizations create chapters to raise

awareness of major global issues that ultimately affect all of us. Local groups will be

supported by people concerned with local issues, meanwhile others have visions of more

globally-scaled questions. University is, after all, about expanding ones horizons.If international trends towards the use and influence of humanitarian organizations and

other NGOs are any in dication, engagement is not simply to join and c ampaign, its also

to question and re-analyse various assumptions of causes as well as ones own involvement

within these institutions. Engagement is also an individuals capacity to become absorbed

in a cause; an open-access and all-inclusive community requires active participation.

e degree to which Mount Allison meets these important indications of engagement

has yet to be seen.

Julie Cruikshank


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ENTERTAINMENT

Pandas and tigers and whistles, oh my!When Hot Panda,e Wind Whistles and Paper Tiger get together for a show, everybody wins.

Planning a concert bill requires a

special kind of intuition. If the bands you pick sound too similar, then the

acts will start to run together and no

one band ends up standing out. Of

course, if theyre too different from

one another, the jarring shift between

sets makes the whole endeavor seem

rather haphazard. So credit the

organizers of last Wednesdays show

at Struts Gallery for absolutely nailing

the balance. Paper Tiger, the Wind

Whistles, and Hot Panda all traffic in

indie pop, but each band approaches

the genre in different and ultimately

complimentary ways.

Paper Tiger hails all the way from

Utrecht, Netherlands, bringing with

them a pair of electric-acoustic guitars

and a slate of songs from their album

Everyone Here. e duo of Chris

Regtop and Tmy Phem sound similarto the quirky acoustic pop of French

band Herman Dune, albeit with a

faster pace, crunchy power-pop sheen

and winning harmonizing with their

voices and their guitars. Of the three

bands that night, Paper Tiger had the

most laid-back sound and demeanor they would make the ideal soundtrack

to lying back in a hammock suspended

between two palm trees, tropical drink

in hand. e chiming, minimally

amplified guitars gave the vocals

space to reverberate. Good thing, as

the lyrics were consistently amusing:

45 Minutes Can Last Pretty Long

told the true story of being forced to

wait around at a brothel at four in the

morning, while the candy bracelet at

the center of Sandy is revealed to be

made of something more chemically

stimulating. Notably, Paper Tiger was

touring without their drummer, which

turned out to be quite a blessing.

When the drummer for the Wind

Whistles backed them on their last

few songs, the percussion drowned out

the simple charm that made their setso engaging.

He fared much better with his own

band, however. e Wind Whistles

are from Vancouver, which for those

geography buffs out there, is further

away from Sackville than Utrecht.

Being a more traditional guitar-

bass-drums setup, they were more

propulsive than Paper Tiger. eir

guitars remained at the same level,

however, allowing the harmonies of

Tom Prilesky and Liza Moserto soar

above the musical accompaniment.

e Wind Whistles songs are more

urgent, with earnest lyrics about

turtles, jailbreak weddings, and rivers,

but the trio never took themselves too

seriously. e set moved along nicely,

peaking when half of Paper Tiger

Neil BonnerArgosy Staff

added some mandolin to the bands

performance.

e gear setup for Hot Panda took

much longer than those of the previous

bands, due mainly to the presence of

some rather hefty amplifiers. I was

concerned that the Edmonton band

would disrupt the mood, but Hot

Panda surprised me: they reined in

the noise so that it filled, rather than

overwhelmed, the small art space.

ey were the logical main act for

the night, turning the strengths of

the previous bands up to eleven:

they played quirky, yet emotionally

forthright indie pop with humor that

arose from their unhinged energy and

unusual instrumentation. Drummer

Maghan Campbell wailed on the

wood-block for Its Worth Eight

Dollars and later treated the crowd

to her first instrument, the kazoo.

Multi-instrumentalist Heath Parsons

played guitar, and appealingly grungey

keyboard and, why not, the accordion.

Vocalist/guitarist Chris Connelly

and bassist Keith Olson didnt get

to be as flashy, but managed to stay

exciting while keeping the lineup from

spiraling off into chaos.

Overall, the show was a success,

blending together three distinct, fun

takes on indie pop. e crowd was

engaged throughout, and everyone just

seemed delighted afterwards.

Not bad for a school night.

Hot Panda, relaxing with some animal friends. None of which, oddly enough, are pandas.

Internet Photo/Briana Hughes

e Tom Fun Orchestra brings the energyHighlights include shirtless drummers, Christmas music and an opening set by Corey Isenor

Oh Georges. Georges Fabulous

Roadhouse.eres not much I can say

about it that hasnt been said before.

Somehow this tiny bar, a sometimes

eerie walk from downtown, manages

to attract the best bands and large

crowds considering the size. Carmen

Townsend was set to open for the Tom

Fun Orchestra, but a few hours before

the show started she bailed and CoreyIsenor stepped up to the plate.e ten

oclock show started early (by Georges

standards) at twenty to eleven, with a

seemingly much more relaxed Corey

Isenor. After some initial feedback

issues Corey sauntered through a

pretty familiar setlist with ease. His

performance was much improved

from the Music Hall performance at

the beginning of the month, and I was

able to enjoy the catchy lyrics more

and more... especially River Woman.

With every song well rehearsed, it

was easier to appreciate the wonderful

lyrics. He delivered the line, When

she cries she brings the soil back to life

so well there was no hint of corniness.

It was a really impressive performance,

especially on such short notice.

After a pretty long intermission,

the Tom Fun Orchestra got on stage

just before midnight and transcended

the, at that time, relatively laid back

atmosphere of the Roadhouse, and

people got out of their seats accordingly.

ere was a bit of a sound level issue

initially, but it was resolved quickly.

I had heard Tom Fun Orchestra was

good, and at midnight I was awake.

I knew this cluster-rock ensemble

offered more than the standard rock-

and-roll instrumentation, but I wasimpressed they could even fit six

musicians on that small stage. ey

made it work, with a unique sound

that further energized the crowd.

e bands repeated references to

Sackville/Georges were, in particular,

very well received.e band began to

drink, drummer omas Allan took

his shirt off, and before long the disco

ball on the ceiling began to swing like

a pendulum to the beat.

ere was a constant energy

throughout the show and at points

the crowd movement was shaking the

floor.e show ended around half past

one with a roaring finale followed by

an invitation to an audience afterparty

and a softer traditional guitar-heavy

song. ey even gave us an early

holiday gift with a Christmas song

featuring Georges Roadhouse. e

band was not sober by the end, but

nobody seemed to mind. Im looking

forward to their eventual return and so

should you.

Geoffrey CampbellArgosy Staff

For those who havent experienced

the late night small town charm of

Georges, its not something to be

missed. Georges is the epitome of

small town bar. A pricey, limited

selection bar, along with pool tables

and cheap seats.e bathroom graffiti

is too funny and homely to be painted

over. Sackville wouldnt be the same

without Georges, and if you havent

been there yet, you need to go at least

once.

Elizabeth von Rosenbach

The Tom Fun Orchestra at a previous concert: melting hearts, one accordion solo at a time.

Internet Photo/Beep! Beep! Back Up the Truck

Paper Tiger (complete with drummer) performing live.


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20 OCTOBER 1, 2009THE ARGOSY ENTERTAINMENT

When fables meet hard rockFair to Midland creates a unique brand of storybook-prog

Internet Photo/last.fm

Fables from a Mayfly: What I Tell You

ree Times is True(2007)

Fair to Midland

Serjical Strike Records

Take a little dive under the shallows

and spy, what do you see?/I see the

tortoise and the hare in a rat-race/Andit fits like a glove under my sleeve.

So begins the whimsical, spiraling

opening track Dance of the Manatee

on Texas band Fair to Midlands third

album, their first since being signed to a

record label. Wherever one might read

about them, a lot of terms get thrown

around to classify this genre-bending

quintet, usually involving the words

progressive or alternative, which is

really just another way of saying that

no one knows what exactly to call

them. By all means alternative insofar

as the term means unusual, Fair to

Midland plays heavy-hitting hard rock

with a storybook mentality, bringing a

shifting, unpredictable quality to their

music that makes it feel like Alice in

Wonderlandwith electric guitar.

A great deal of this complexity

comes from the distinct vocals of

singer Darroh Sudderth. Able to

shift seamlessly from a subdued, soft-

spoken murmur to a soaring wail then

all the way down to a throaty growl,

he brings the music along with him

through swells and softness alike, often

completely transforming the feel of a

song from one moment to the next.

Often, his vocals sound like a call and

response duet between two entirely

different singers, when both voices

are actually his own. A healthy dose

of keyboards adds to the fantastical

nature of the music, and coupled with

production by David Bottrill, the

album as a whole achieves a highly epic

sound, one that takes the listener on a

journey rather than simply providing a

beat to bounce to. Not that it doesnt

rock as well. Signed to former System

of a Down singer Serj Tankians label,

its easy to see what might have caught

his attention. Both bands share a

penchant for adding unusual twists

and turns to their thrash and rock,be it sudden stops and starts, abrupt

shifts in tone, or just the many the

many different sounds each respective

vocalist can achieve. In fact, Sudderth

and Tankian have shown in the past

that they can blend vocals quite well

together, live on stage.

e greatest asset of Fair to Midland

is not just their ability to shift and bend

their musical style without a moment s

notice, but to play well no matter

what particular blend of heaviness

and experimentation theyre currently

residing in. Witness the rising thunder

that escalates track Vice/Versa from

slow, melodious croon into its intense

chorus, featuring Sudderth yelling

his Texan lungs out, only to take the

music back down with him to where

it started, all within the span of a few

lines. On album highlight A Seafarers

Knot, the band just keeps escalating

until it sounds like its going to rock

itself right off the record, all set to

haunting, brooding vocals along with

some more piercing wails. With lyrics

that read like a particularly dark off-

shoot of Mother Goose (If you could

spare me forty winks/While you cry

wolf and I count sheep/What good are

ghosts in Kevlar vests/With backboneslike a jellyfish?), theres really no one

quite like Fair to Midland.

ere are a lot of things to like aboutthis weeks Sackville Film Society

movie, OHorten. It is super charming

and laugh-out-loud funny, without

self-consciously trying to be. It also

has trains in it (always a plus in my

books). Its a movie that starts at an

ending and ends at a beginning and in-

between these two points the sequence

of events are blurry and strange.

Directed by acclaimed Norwegian

film maker Bent Hamer, OHorten

tells the story of Odd Horten, a

recently retired train driver. e film

follows Odd as he departs from his

structured life of the railroad track

into a world thats messy and bizarre.

You get the impression that Odds

life before his retirement had been in

a kind of stasis, and he interacts with

the world as a passive observer and a

sheepish participant. For the majority

of the film Odd continues to wear his

uniform which gives the impression

that even though his life has changed

he has yet to. He acts like hes a train

driver, watching the world move by

outside the windows.

Regardless of Odds attitude, life

seems to happen to him, albeit in

bizarre and out of sync ways. eres

a kind of quietness to the movie, but

dont take that to mean that its boring

or even subtle. Quite on the contrary,

the things that happen to Odd are

often quite extraordinary.

An optical trick exists in which

an audience is asked to focus on a

specific object while, in the meantime,

something crazy happens in the

background, such as a man in a bear

suit moonwalking by (if youve never

seen this, go to YouTube and search for

Test Your Awareness). Oftentimes,

nobody will notice this happening no

matter how obvious it is.e audience

will only see what theyre focusing on. To me OHorten is a movie about

these bear suit moments which should

be strikingly obvious but for whatever

reason are easy to miss.e things that

happen to Odd are not beyond any

realm of the imaginable and theyre

often not really even unusual or, but

theyre magic, crazy, and quiet.

By the end of the movie, Odd has

finally taken offhis uniform. He seems

like a new man, though its hard to

say quite how he arrived at that point.

OHorten leaves you feeling happy.

When it comes down to it its a pretty

warm movie and its a nice way to look

at the world. I wish I could always see

in Horten-vision.

Dylan CunninghamArgosy Contributor

Becky MartinArgosy Contributor

Fair to Midlandplays heavy-hittinghard rock with astorybook mentality,bringing a shifting,unpredictable qualityto their music thatmakes it feel likeAlice in Wonderlandwith electric guitar.

TORONTO (CUP) Damian

Abraham is facing a chicken and the

egg scenario.Abraham fronts the Toronto

hardcore band Fucked Up, which, on

Monday night, won the 2009 Polaris

Music Prize an award given each

year to the best full-length Canadian

album, based solely on artistic merit.

I really have a hard time looking

at Fucked Up and thinking of it as

artistic, he said in an interview after

winning the award on Sept. 21. I look

at it as just what we did. Its hard to

look at it and think, Hey this is such

a great artistic achievement. I suppose

if anything, the reason its an artistic

achievement is because it won the

Polaris.

Fucked Up beat out nine other

shortlisted contestants at Monday

Nights Polaris Prize Gala at Torontos

historic Masonic Hall, includingnew-wave heavyweight Metric, genre-

defying KNAAN, and 2007 winner

Patrick Watson.

Abraham said he was shocked over

his bands win.

I was like, did they say Joel Plaskett?

e whole night, I was like, [itll be]

KNAAN, Joel Plaskett, KNAAN,

Joel Plaskett. And then I was like, oh

man, I cant believe we won.

Fucked Up is the first punk band

to make it to the ten-album shortlist

for the $20,000 Polaris Music Prize in

its four-year history, making the win asignificant step for hardcore music in

Canada.

While Abraham said in the post-

gala press conference that Fucked Ups

win means the hardcore genre could

become more accepted in the country,

It never should be totally accepted.

But at the same time I hope it means

therell be a greater understanding of it

in Canada, because there are so many

amazing bands that have come from

Canada in more extreme genres.

Being considered on par with

previous winners Caribou, Patrick

Watson, and Final Fantasy whom

Abraham said he worships means

the world to the frontman.

CBC Radio 3s Grant Lawrence,

who co-hosted the gala with

MuchMusic VJ Sarah Taylor, said hewas shocked by the winner.

Everyone that said its an indie

rock prize has to look again, because

a hardcore band just won, said

Lawrence after the gala. at shakes

it up, and Im happy for [Fucked Up].

e radio host called the gala the

best hed seen in its four years, and

only had kind words to say for the

nominees.

e quality of the bands that we

see here are incredible. One won, but

I think all of the artists are winners in

many ways . . . It really felt like we wereseeing the cream of the crop of 2009.

is moment, tonight, is the only place

to be in Canadian music anywhere.

For the first time in the prizes

history, each nominated act was invited

to play a short set at the gala. While

some performances were intimate

Joel Plaskett and Metric each played

acoustic sets other acts opted to have

fun with the occasion.

Patrick Watson and band members

played while winding through the

crowd, wearing suits designed to look

like trees made out of lamps. Elliott

BROOD handed the audience cooking

sheets and wooden spoons to play

along with the band, and Hey Rosetta!

brought numerous percussionists and

violinists on stage with them, totaling

fourteen people to play their songTired Eyes.

Fucked Up had their own guests,

too, including Lullabye Arkestra and

2006 Polaris Music Prize winner Final

Fantasy, whose pedal-looped violin

riffs began the performance. e live

broadcast of the show on MuchMusic

didnt hold frontman Abraham back

from performing how he wanted, as

he slowly stripped offhis clothes until

he wandered the stage in hiked-up

boxer briefs. Compared to some of the

bands past performances, though, this

was tame or at least less bloody.

In spite of Fucked Ups let-loose-on-stage antics, Abraham said that

the band plans on using the $20,000

for a legitimately serious project a

benefit record to draw attention to the

over 500 missing aboriginal women in

Canada.

Were going to [. . .] raise some

Josh OKaneCUP National Bureau Chief

Fucked Up upends indie expectationsHardcore underdog shifts Canadian music prize from traditional indie rock winners

money for these people. Its a

marginalized group, its a [racial]

crime and its ignored. Were putting

out a benefit record with some really

fun guests, and we can pay for it.

e 2009 Polaris Music Prize long

list, comprised of forty albums selected

by a 181 member jury comprised ofCanadian journalists, broadcasters and

bloggers, was announced last June. e

ten-album shortlist was announced

in June, and also included Chad

VanGaalen and Malajube.

Frontman Damian Abraham bellows as Fucked Up perform live.

Internet Photo/Donofthedead

OHorten (Baard Owe) and costar.

Internet Photo/Hamburg

Whimsy, Norway-styleA review of Bent Hamers OHorten

You there!Reading the newspaper!

(yes, you.)

Argosy Entertainmentwill please you in ways no

lover ever could.

So write for them!


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SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

Geek Chicof the Week

While not strictly geek chic (or indeed, chic at all), this instant-mullet kit is sure to light a fire of ironic delight (oractual disgust) in the hearts of all who gaze upon it. Unsurprisingly, its being sold for ten bucks US.

http://www.thingsyouneverknew.com/product/thingstowear/oddaccessories/ponytail+cap.do

October 1, 2009:Ponytail Cap

Sci/TechNews Ticker

Guy Lalibert, Cirque du Soleil founder, to become first Canadian space tourist, will perform in orbit

ere has been much rejoicing in the

scientific community this past week.

For the first time, an HIV/AIDS

vaccine trial has been shown to workin a minority of people.

Sure, this might prompt questions

like, shouldnt we be rejoicing over a

vaccine that works in a large majority

of people as opposed to a minority?

However, AIDS vaccine trials

to date have been generally labeled

inconclusive at best and practically

cataclysmic at worst. One vaccine

tested in 2007 was stopped early

because it seemed to actually increase

the risk of infection for men.

e new vaccine, called RV 144,

is actually a combination of two

genetically engineered vaccines, which

individually were not shown to decrease

susceptibility to infection. e first

drug, Alvac-HIV from Sanofi-Pasteur,

is actually a canarypox virus that has

three AIDS virus genes grafted ontoit. e other drug, Aidsvax, is an

engineered version of a protein found

on the surface of the AIDS virus. e

drug is grown in a broth of hamster

ovary cells.

RV 144 was tested on 16,402

volunteers in ailand in 2006 and

was found to be just over thirty per

cent effective. Half of the volunteers

were given six doses of two vaccines

in 2006, the other volunteers were

given a placebo, and the volunteers

had regular HIV tests for three years.

e sample of people was drawn from

across ai society, not limited to high

risk groups.

e interesting part was that the

viral load (the amount of the virus in

the blood) of those who did become

AIDS vaccine, almostai trial promising, but battle not over

infected, was roughly the same in those

who had received the placebo and

those who had received the vaccine.

Generally, it would be expected to find

that the viral load was lower in those

who received the vaccine and still

become infected.

is evidence suggests that insteadof producing neutralizing antibodies,

the kind that are normally seen in

vaccinations, would flag the virus for

destruction; the vaccine might also

produce binding antibodies, which

would boost the immune response to

the virus.

While the vaccine is far f rom reliable

enough to market, the researchers are

lauding it as a key step in directing

vaccine research from here on out.

It is yet unknown as to whether this

vaccine would be successful outside

ofailand. Results have shown it to

be successful against the two main

strains of HIV in ailand, subtypes B

and E, though both strains are highly

mutable. Only B is common in Europe

and North America.

e ai study demonstrates whythe HIV vaccine field must take a

balanced approach to conducting both

the basic research needed to discover

and design new HIV vaccines and,

when appropriate, testing candidate

vaccines in people, says Margaret I.

Johnston, director of NIAIDs Vaccine

Research Program within the Division

of AIDS. Both avenues provide

critical information that will continue

to help us better understand what is

needed to develop a fully protective

HIV vaccine.

SciTechLink:

Electron microscopy

of AIDS virus

http://bit.ly/XXQX2

Suzy RogersArgosy Correspondant

Gee Brain, what do you want to do

tonight?

e same thing we do every night,Pinky - try to take over the world!

Growing up watching these two

vivacious rodents collaborate on plots

for world domination gave a generation

of children wild daydreams of a planet

under the control of a population

of mutant, sadistic lab mice. Due to

recent scientific work, it turns out that

the shows creators might not have

actually been too far from the mark

with what rodent demeanor could look

like in the not-too-distance future.

FOXP2 is a gene implicated

in human language development.

Scientists at the University of

Pennsylvania have altered the homolog

of this gene in lab mice to match ours.

In fact, the same gene in mice, though

it has a different function, is only one

base pair different from our own. While no whispers of world

domination were heard, brain patterns

during vocalization were much more

Of mice and men in white coatsHuman gene for language development inserted into mice

similar to ours (of course, on the show

they just wait until the scientists go

home for the day to speak). Curiously,

the vocalizations themselves differed

from the ultrasonic squeaks and

squawks of normal, everyday mice.

Perhaps this means that mice areindeed formulating a dastardly

language of their own.

It is interesting to note that the

existence of the same gene in both

humans and mice gives strong evidence

for evolutionary theory. In fact, ninety-

nine per cent of protein-coding genes

are common between humans and

mice, showing that we must indeed

have a common ancestor.e reminder

of our genes are primarily responsible

for turning on and off the protein-

coding genes (only forty per cent of

the rest of our genome is common).

e FOXP2 gene in mice, as well as

humans, is responsible for all sorts of

development beyond speech, including

brain, lung, and gut tissues.

Of course, speech development

requires a whole lot more than justthis one gene. Vocalization is only one

of piece of a pretty big jigsaw puzzle.

So far as scientists can tell, messing

Ross MacLeanArgosy Staff

with this gene doesnt give the mice

the ability to decipher and interpret

phonemes. And mice, although pretty

intelligent, do not have the ability to

consider absent or hypothetical objects,

or hypothetical situations, some of the

key aspects to human language.Brocas area, which is involved with

speech production, and Wernikes

area, which is involved in language

comprehension, were two of the first

to be mapped in the human brain.

e next step in this field should be

to see what changes could be made to

gene loci affecting these areas to bring

mouse language skills up to ours.

Mice certainly arent composing

Shakespeare just yet, but perhaps

one day soon our conversations could

transcend that species-specific border.

Other, less unnatural applications for

this research could include treatments

for autism and dementia patients who

lose speech capabilities.

SciTechLink:

Pinky and the Braindescribe neuroanatomy

http://bit.ly/172OCS

Internet Graphic /thingsyouneverknew.com

WINDSOR (CUP) - Even though

nurses, doctors and pharmacists may

constantly tell you to wash your hands,

they may not be practising what they

preach.

A recent study conducted by a

University of Windsor researcher could

indicate that healthcare providers

might be speaking hypocritically.

Maher El-Masri, a research chair at

UWindsors nursing faculty, recently

collaborated on an observational study

with a University of Miami researcher

at an oncology unit in Miami, Fla. that

revealed some disappointing results.

In his study, which involved three

nursing research assistants observing

47 healthcare providers for a total of

612 observations, El-Masri found that

hand washing compliance rates were

as low as 42 per cent before medical

procedures, and 72 per cent after

procedures.

Furthermore, a fully proper

compliance, which necessitates

washing before and after any medical

procedure, only occurred 34 per cent

of the time.According to El-Masri, there are a

number of variables involved in this

low rate, but ignorance is not one of

them.

Some people think it is due to a

lack of knowledge, but the truth of

the matter is that healthcare providers

know they have to wash their hands.

is is the first thing they learn

when they come to medical school,

or pharmaceutical school, says El-

Masri.

Factors affecting this rate, according

to El-Masri, include understaffing

and prioritizing, but also include the

invisible nature of micro-organisms.

If I see blood on my hands, Im

likely to go and wash my hands. If I

touch urine, Im likely to go wash my

hands. But if I just move a patient

from a chair back to bed, for instance,

or I changed the IV bag for the

patient, the assumption is that I did

not do something that contaminated

my hands, he says.

Also affecting the rates of hand

washing were the risks involved

with the procedure, with healthcare

providers much more likely to comply

with proper hygiene if conducting a

high-risk procedure.

El-Masri further notes the effects

that over-washing can have on skin,

particularly that of females, who

generally have more sensitive skin.

Healthcare providers, he says, dont

want their hands to dry, and they

dont want their hands to crack. And

its known that if you over-wash your

hands, they dry, and they dont want to

do that. He notes that manufacturers

of hand sanitizer and soap are

beginning to address this with their

products, however.

El-Masri has studied predictors ofinfection in many different ways, but

this was the first time that he was

able to study hand hygiene as a factor,

because it is such a difficult statistic to

quantify in a survey.

He admits that every study could

have a limitation or a possible margin

of error, but he notes that this was

taken into account in his studys

adjusted analysis.

Despite the grave results of this

survey, El-Masri continues to stress

the strong need for hand washing.

He notes that it is the absolute

strongest prevention method for

disease and infection, including the

H1N1 virus.

El-Masri adds it is always a safe

precaution for students to wash their

hands even if they feel like their hands

may be clean.

Hand-washing hypocrisy in healthcare

Michal TellosUniversity of Windsor


27/32

27

Matt CollettArgosy Contributor

Soviet doomsday device online?Cold War-era Perimetr system supposedly still active

Wisconsin Tourism Federation changes name to Federation for Wisconsin Tourism -- Bank of American sued for $1.784 x 1021

In 1964 Stanley Kubrick directed

the film Dr. Strangelove: Or How

I Learned to Stop Worrying and

Love the Bomb, which presented a

Soviet Union in possession of a fail-deadly system. Called a doomsday

device, the device would guarantee

a retaliatory strike capable of

rendering planet Earth a radioactive

wasteland. When the Americans

accidentally dropped an H-bomb, this

fully automated system awoke and

detonated highly radioactive cobalt

bombs positioned across the planet

resulting in an apocalypse. Fortunately,

Kubricks vision was one of absolute

fiction - who could be stupid enough

to build such a machine, whose sole

objective was to eradicate all forms of

life without thinking twice?

Well, according to an article

published last week in Wired, the

Soviets may have done just that. Even

more terrifying, it might still be active.

e system is called Perimetr,though many have come to call it

Mertvaya Ruka, or Dead Hand. It is

thought to have been built sometime

in the mid 1980s, a time which P.D.

Smith, in his book Doomsday Men:

e Real Dr. Strangelove and the

Dream of the Super weapon, recalls was

when the Soviets realized that their

missile deterrent was not sufficient

and whose command was likely to be

obliterated in an American nuclear

strike. Consequentially, Perimetrs key

feature, and its most terrifying, is that

it needs no orders from high ranking

officials to carry out its function.

e actual infrastructure of the Dead

Hand is quite simple. Distributed

across Russia are various sensors

that relay seismic, radiation and air

pressure activity to central computers.

ese computes are located in bunkers

impenetrable to any known weaponry.

Inside the bunker are junior officers

and regular enlistees assigned to the

unenviable task of fully activating the

In a study of 38,000 patients with

head injuries ranging from moderate

to severe, it was found that those with

alcohol in their system were generally

more likely to survive.e thirty-eight

per cent of patients who tested positivefor ethanol also tended to be younger

(around thirty-three to forty years

old), had less severe injuries and spent

less time on a ventilator or in intensive

care than those with no alcohol in

their system at all.

Basically, for every 100 sober people

with head injuries who died, only

eighty-eight would die who had raised

ethanol levels in their blood.

ese facts have led scientists

to question whether administering

Alcohol and brain injury - a working relationship?New study shows that having a little alcohol in your system may actually save your brain f rom trauma

Jennifer MusgraveArgosy Staff

Much of the Australian inland is

covered by desert, but last week urban

residents in New South Wales got a

little more sand than they bargained

for.

Last Tuesday, residents of Canberra,woke up to an immense cloud of red

dust, reducing visibility in the city to

a minimum. Callers to ABC Radio

described the scene as something

from the end of the world. One man

looked outside his window and initially

thought that he had been spared from

a nuclear attack. Fire stations were

kept busy responding to smoke alarms

falsely set off by the dust. Asthma

patients flooded emergency rooms.

Overnight, the strongest rainstorm in

the capital in months turned all the

dust to mud and washed it away.

e worst of it reached Sydneys

four and a half million inhabitants on

Wednesday. e largest metropolitan

area in Australia saw sales on surgical

face masks soar higher even than during

the swine flu crisis. Unfortunately,

masks couldnt be provided to many

birds and other small animals whose

lungs couldnt handle the dust. Sydney

International Airport saw multiple

grounded planes and incoming

e world ends in OzNew South Wales, Australia dusted red

Ross MacLeanArgosy Staff

flights were diverted to Melbourne.

Unbelievably, by Friday wind had

carried dust almost two thousand

kilometers to New Zealand.

e storm originated in the far west

of New South Wales. It was caused by

a series of ordinary events, beginning

with a not uncommon period of

drought. Dry conditions plus a low

pressure system plus a cold front onSeptember 22 brought tons of dust

into the air, and a gale-force wind of

100 km/h brought the mountains of

dust to the coastal cities. At its worst

point, the storm was carrying away an

estimated 75,000 tons of dirt per hour

from the continent.

Photos illustrate the eerie

apocalyptic-like scenes. e media

made several analogies likening the

storm to the end of the world; in most

areas of the state, visibility was reduced

to 100 to 200 meters. Air quality was

rated as poor to hazardous, sending

at least 500 choking Australians to the

hospital. Two fishermen were lost off

the coast but were later retrieved by a

coast guard helicopter.

No fatalities were reported.

SciTechLink:

Red Dust: Flickr

gallery of Sydney

http://bit.ly/oe3I8

ethanol to patients might help them

recover from brain injuries. e lead

researcher of this study, Ali Salim,

has suggested that the alcohol may

be reducing inflammation and

resultant brain damage by blunting

the amount of adrenalin going to the

brain as a result of the injury. ere

still needs to be a better understanding

of the mechanisms through which thisoccurs so that medical practitioners can

figure out the appropriate doses and

specific timing for treatments before

clinical trials can be considered.

Now, despite what you may

be thinking, while a little alcohol

apparently couldnt hurt to have in

your system before a brain injury, it is

also a fact that about fifty per cent of

the people who actually sustain a head

injury are intoxicated. Additionally,

being a alcohol abuser increases both

Internet Photo/ Australias public broadcaster

Believe it or not, this picture is not related to the mushroom cloud

the likelihood and severity of head

injuries. In animal experiments it has

also been found that while a low dose

of alcohol can protect the brain from

injury, a higher dose can increase the

chances of death.

While Salims study might suggest

otherwise, it is evidently clear that

alcohol is still a major contributor to

brain related trauma and injury. erisk of head injury is double in families

with a history of alcoholism than

those without, while the incidence

of head injury in alcoholics is two to

four times higher than the general

population. Alcohol drinkers also

suffer more complications and severe

injuries than non-drinkers even if their

overall survival rate is higher.

It is also important to remember

that brain injuries are diverse, so that

while ethanol may help some, it may

not work for others. Brain injuries also

destroy brain cells which means that

the remaining cells have to work harder

to make up for the missing ones. is

also means that using alcohol after an

injury can endanger these cells (since

more alcohol spreads out over less

cells) and take away any progress you

make after head trauma.

Alcohol is generally considered tocause more injuries than it can cure,

as it is associated with forty to fifty

per cent of traffic fatalities; twenty-

five to thirty-five per cent of nonfatal

motor vehicle injuries; up to sixty-four

per cent of fires and burns; forty-

eight per cent of hypothermia and

frostbite cases; and twenty per cent of

completed suicides. Finally, each year

about two million Americans sustain

head injuries (half of which are a result

of alcohol use) with a resulting 56,000

deaths.ey rank as the fourth leading

cause of death and the leading cause of

death in people aged one to forty-four

years of age.

Head injuries are simply no laughing

matter; they often (if survived) also

lead to long term psychological and

behavioural problems. Despite Salims

curious findings, the dangers are

obvious when it comes to alcohol andrisky behaviour: ultimately, your best

bet is just to play it safe.

SciTechLink:

Hangover science,

for those not

yet convinced of

this article

http://bit.ly/jtPi4

machine if necessary.

If the device is activated the

system has to check off four if/then

propositions: If it was turned on, then

it will try to determine that a nuclear

weapon had hit Soviet soil using the

network of sensors. If it deemed that

one had, the system would attempt to

communicate with a higher official.

If it did, and if some amount of time

passed without further indications

of attack, the machine would assume

officials were still living who could

order the counterattack and shut down.

However, if the line to the officials

went dead, then Perimetr would

assume that apocalypse had arrived.

en, launch authority for the entire

nuclear arsenal would be granted to

whoever was assigned to the bunker.

Essentially, th

Argosy October 1, 2009

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