FREE!

APRIL 2014

Easter games

and crafts

Sibling

rivalry

Your Free local Parenting magazine

MuM’s and

multiples

Contents

Special Features

22 27

In the life of a step mum Easter games

Articles

How much are your kids worth? How children can affect your health Talking of twins Your new addition My 2014 money challenge

7

8

12 18 24

Regulars

Letter from the Editor Ask a professional - questions from readers Monthly Recipe - French toast rollups Your Story - My escape from Egypt Mum’s in the City - with Alexis Make a change Kid’s fun - Easter craft Community Noticeboard Business Directory

5 10

11

14

16 17 26 28 29

April 2014

Cover image from

Grapevine photography

5

info@smallstepsparenting.com

www.smallstepsparenting.com

www.facebook.com/smallstepsparenting

Julie-Anne England

Dear Reader,

We are now well into the year now and our seasons

are about to change with a coolness in the air. With

it comes Easter, one of my favourite times of the

year and a definite favourite of most kids.

This month we have some Easter crafts and games,

you can check up on how I’m doing with my 2014

money challenge and you have one last chance to

enter your kids in our cover star competition. Final-

ists will be announced in our next issue.

We are also very excited to announce that we are a

finalist in the Small Business Champion Awards for

Australia! We want to thank all our readers for your

support and your feedback about our magazine.

Plus we have some great giveaways too! We have a family pass for both

Yo Gabba Gabba live and Peppa Pig live to giveaway (worth around $300

each), an ipod nano plus some Small Steps subscriptions. Find more in-

formation on page 21. Get your entries in quickly so you don’t miss out!

Letter from the Editor

6

Combos Slides Obstacle Castles Slushie Machines

Phone: (02) 4571 1240 or 0402 100 681

Email: tomcatjim1@bigpond.com

Birthdays/Corporate Events/Preschools/Fetes/Christmas/New Years

Learning how a book works is an important part of learning to read.

Babies feel safe when they are being held and they love to hear the

sounds of words. They are exploring the book when they touch,

smell and even chew the book. Later, they will hold the book the

right way up, turn the pages and start making sounds when they see a picture in a

familiar story.

Being able to predict is an important skill in learning to read.

When we read a story to children over and over again they learn how

this story works. When they recognise they have heard this story

before they will predict the words and the action that will come next.

Being able to predict is an important skill to develop.

‘Pretend reading’ is real reading.

Reading will help your child recognise a story has characters, a be-

ginning, an end and some action in the middle. When you let your

child make up a story to go with the pictures in the book, you are

letting your child practise reading the words and pictures properly

later.

Written by Simone Yuen, children’s book author, www.rainbowballs.com.au

Did you know…?

How much are your kids worth? Having children are often the purpose of a

married couples life. Children are central to

having a family but often the question cou-

ples face before they have a family is, how

many children can we afford. Assuming

having them isn't going to be an issue.

AMP did a comprehensive report on the

costs of having children in 2012. What the

Report found was that the cost of a child

can be broadly divided between two cate-

gories: 'household' costs (such as food,

transport, clothing, health, etc) and

'education' costs.

Household costs are largely staple costs. In

other words they are largely essential costs

to the family having a child and may vary

depending on the family budget and the

number of members of the family. Whereas

education costs can be discretionary be-

yond a minimum cost. The parents can

chose the type of education they chose for

their children, such as in the early years

child care and pre-school care, through

to private verses public education during

primary and secondary school, and

then university costs.

For low to middle income families the cost

of raising a child, or children, takes up a

larger percentage of their household in-

come than for higher income families. The

question often comes down to whether it is

a two income or single income family as to

what they can afford for their children. The

estimated costs for a couple to raise two

children to age 18 ranged from $473,000

for a low income family, to $812,000 for a

middle income family and $1.1 million for

a high income family. The biggest expense,

not surprisingly, was education costs which

are also likely to rise the most in future

years. So those costs are likely to be greater

in today's dollars when the expense is actu-

ally incurred.

So how can a couple prepare themselves

for the expense of having a family? The

best way to prepare for the future education

costs that you chose for your children is to

have a budget. There are software pro-

grams available that can help you with this

task. These programs allow you to chose

the type of education that you plan for your

children, the period of that education and

when the cost will be incurred. You then

need to have a financial plan to meet that

expense. That plan will be based on your

capacity to generate excess income to your

current expenditure and your

ability to save for the future.

There is no secret that the

more you put away now, the

easier it will be later to meet

those expenses.

Written by Michael Voss, our

certified financial planner.

If you have any questions on the above

please contact Michael at

michael.voss@arrowfa.com.au.

Food clothing School supplies Education

7

How children can affect your health

8

The influence that a child has on your health

may commence as early as conception!

Morning sickness, cravings, discomfort with

evolving shape, prenatal medical condi-

tions…not to mention fatigue all play a vital

role in a couple’s ability to maintain status

quo with their health and fitness. Then…

boom! Bub has arrived and before you know

it, time passes and whilst poor lifestyle habits

may have crept in, a parent’s focus is con-

sumed by making sure baby’s needs are be-

ing met – you may find yourself in disbelief

that this new little person’s presence has

sapped you of your energy and time to look

after yourself!

Alternatively, perhaps you have breezed

through your pregnancy and continue to ex-

pand the family and then find the combina-

tion of juggling two or more children and

daily life / work commitments has made it

increasingly difficult to split your time effec-

tively to include yourself! The good news is

you are not alone and more importantly there

are ways to be both Super-Mum (or Dad!) in

the field of raising a brood of beautiful chil-

dren and be the best role model of health and

lifestyle for your future generations.

Let’s talk about creating energy…

One of the most common threads of parental

concern is their own nutrition and food in-

take. “I know it’s wrong but I simply don’t

have the time to eat breakfast.” “I make sure

the kids are eating, but I get so busy that I

skip lunch.” “I am so tired in the evening,

that I just throw together something quick for

kids and get them to bed …I might eat later.”

By starving our body of food, we are confus-

ing it, so if we are sporadic in our eating pat-

terns, our metabolism slows down..in this

case it means that when we DO eat, rather

9

than burning our in-take, it will store the

food as fat in our body as it is unsure when

the next feed may be coming . Then if we

are leading an in-active lifestyle, the stored

fat is not burned and in time transforms us

into being overweight or obese. Gasp! “Oh

no!” I hear you say! Ah ha! The exciting

fact is: food is a necessity, not only for

nutritional values to keep us well but it cre-

ates energy. The key is to choose well, eat

little – often and as we tell our kids….chew

your food!

By eating small portions of good food regu-

larly during the day, your metabolism will

start to kick in as it will recognise the pat-

tern feeling “secure” to start burning the

food as it will know more food will come in

a few hours. Chew your food at least 10

times per mouthful – this action will not

only aid digestion, but the thermogenic af-

fect helps you burn calories while you are

eating!! Whilst doing so, remember your off

-spring will model their future behaviour

from what you demonstrate to them today.

So make sure you are sitting, eating with

them and not seen skipping meals. If you

are planning to go out, not only prepare

their food – pack some in for you too!

If breakfast is your challenge? Instead of

having traditional cereal or toast, perhaps

replace this with a pre-prepared breakfast

smoothie to drink on the run or have a cup

of natural yoghurt sprinkled with muesli or

simply eat a handful of mixed raw nuts and

berries and then at mid-morning eat some-

thing a little more substantial. Having the

energy to be the best parent you can be is

important so the crucial point is by taking

food in the morning, you are sending a mes-

sage to your metabolism to kick in “you

have had a rest overnight, but now it’s ok to

start burning as to create the energy I need

for the day ”.

With regulating your feeds, the next thing is

to consider what and how much you are

eating. Instead of eating the kid’s leftovers

– make sure you are preparing your serve

too! Ensure you are eating a serve of lean

protein with each feed, yes – 5 serves of

protein a day! Additionally ensure you are

eating whole grains (wholemeal bread,

brown rice, oats, quinoa) and 5 serves of

veggies/day. Protein and whole grains will

keep you feeling fuller for longer, so your

prior need to snack in between feeds will

disappear!

Learn more about this topic in the second

part of this article in next month’s maga-

zine!

This article has been written by Kirsten

Mitchell, our talented personal trainer.

Learn more about Kirsten on our website in

the “About Us” section or send us an email

to get in touch with her or have her answer

a question.

Ask a Professional...

QUESTION: If I am breastfeeding my baby, are there certain foods that I should or shouldn’t

eat?

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It is important to eat well at any stage of life but particularly when you are breastfeeding.

Selecting foods such as a variety of fruits, vegetables, lean meat, fish, chicken, dairy ( low fat

milk, cheese, yoghurt) eggs and wholegrain cereals and breads will ensure that you have op-

timal nutrition to enable you to feed your baby without getting deprived of nutrients yourself.

You can eat basically any foods however if you feel that your baby has reacted to something

that you have eaten, it would be wise to avoid that particular food. A friend of mine noticed

that her baby was very unsettled after she ate oranges, so she tried not to eat these during this

time. It is also good to drink plenty of water to make sure you stay hydrated. Alcohol and

caffeine drinks such as coffee can go through into your breastmilk so it is wise to limit these.

Overall, enjoy your food and your baby, babies grow up so quickly and every season of their

lives is to be cherished.

This answer has been supplied by Ruth Bosanquet who is our qualified midwife. Learn more

about Ruth on our "About Us" page on our website.

1. Cut the crusts off 8-10 pieces of fresh bread.

2. Beat the eggs together with the milk until

slightly frothy.

3. Use a rolling pin to flatten out the bread

pieces.

4. Put a line of golden syrup down one side of

the bread.

5. Carefully roll up the bread from the syrup

end.

6. Dip the rolled bread into the egg mixture and

place onto a hot frypan. Cook until golden,

turning every few minutes to cook all sides.

7. Once cooked, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar

and serve.

11

Monthly Recipe

French Toast Rollups

Ingredients: A loaf of bread

2 eggs

A tablespoon of milk

Golden syrup

Cinnamon sugar

TIP: Use toothpicks to hold the bread in its rolled shape until cooked.

Remove toothpicks before serving.

twins Talking of twins

What was your first thought when you

found out you were having twins?

My first thought was "Oh my god!" Then I

immediately thought "I knew I would have

twins", (I have always said that I was going

to have twins)

What was your husband's reaction?

He was shocked and he cried.

Did you want to find out the sex of the

babies during your pregnancy?

Yes we found out first chance we

could get! When we found out we

were having two girls we were so

excited!

While in utero could you tell

which baby was which?

Yes there was the quieter one on

the left bottom corner and the

louder one on the right taking up

most of the space! Turned out Indi

IS the quiet one and ISLA is the

louder one.

How did you go with physically

carrying two babies?

I did allot of things to help with

that, I did pre natal yoga throughout

the whole pregnancy, I would go

for a beach walk everyday, I used

positive affirmations and also did a

calm birthing course.

All these things helped me physi-

cally be able to keep working until I

was 36 weeks pregnant, and helped

me remain positive about my preg-

nancy and labour.

Taking home a new baby is often

daunting for first time mums.

How did you fair going home from the

hospital for the first time with two of

them? I had my mum nearby so I wasn't worried,

although I did wonder how I would breast

feed two at the same time! But thankfully

my good friend had bought me a twin feed-

ing pillow which helped.

Are you a routine mum or an unstruc-

tured go-with-the flow type person?

I'm so go with the flow, I wouldn't even

12

We speak face to face with Karina—mum of twins

know how to structure anything with my

two! I have always wondered how some

women do it!

Are your twins very alike?

No they are like chalk and cheese, even

their hair is completely different, one with

dark curly hair and the other with straighter

blond hair!

Most annoying comments you have re-

ceived from people either during your

pregnancy or since you had the girls. I started to get really annoyed at people

being negative about the fact that I had

two! Any twin mum will tell you that if

they had a dollar for every time they heard

the phrase "double trouble", although now I

just think that people are just trying to be

funny and it doesn't bother me anymore.

And also people assuming that I had a

dreadful pregnancy and labour, and then

they are really shocked that my pregnancy

and labour was awesome!

The thing/s about motherhood that most

surprised you. The lack of time to yourself

really shocked me.

What you loved/hated about being preg-

nant.

HATED vomiting for 2 months, LOVED

everything else.

The hardest thing about being a mum of

twins.

Some days you never get a break, if one

sleeps at a different time to the other, if

they are both being really whingy or if one

or both are sick, or if one decides to wake

the other one when it has taken me ages to

get her to sleep.

If you could do it over again is there any-

thing you change. I would have taken

more control over my labour, one midwife

basically wanted me to lie in the bed all

day so she could monitor the girls, and I

should have spoken up because all I wanted

to do was to move around and help the girls

move down, I just kept saying I needed to

go to the bathroom and other things like

that, but If I did it again I would just say

what I wanted and tell that nurse to leave. It

turned out good though as that midwife left

at lunch time and a wonderful midwife

started from then on and she was awesome!

13

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14

Your Story

Robin’s Story - My escape from Egypt

After months and months of planning, my

friend and I landed in Cairo, Egypt. As

the plane landed I was filled with excite-

ment as to the adventures we would have

in this new place.

This trip was finally being made a reality

after long nights spent planning, booking

accommodation, transportation and or-

ganising tours.

As we weaved through people in the air-

port and made it through airport security

we found ourselves in the parking lot. I

looked around, trying to take in what I

could of this strange new country. Within

moments men were yelling at us in Ara-

bic and trying to push us into their cars. A

nice young man who spoke English came

over to us and organised a taxi. He spoke

to the taxi driver and instructed him to

take care of us and get us safely to the

hotel we had booked for that night.

The driver steered us through traffic at a

high speed, dodging traffic and weaving

in and out of lanes. These lanes were ac-

cording to the amount of cars on the road

and not dictated by the markings on the

road.

I gave a huge sigh of relief as we arrived

safely at our hotel. We retrieved our bags

and went to the hotel lobby to check in.

To our dismay the hotel had a problem

with our booking. They were able to ac-

commodate us that night but then we

would need to find alternate accommoda-

tion the next day. We went to our room

and started to discuss what we would do

tomorrow. My friend Lina told me that

she knew a guy in Egypt and that she

would call him to ask him for help. His

name was Alfred. After a brief talk on the

phone, he said that he would come pick

us up and take us out for the evening. He

also said he had a place for us to stay.

We spent a little while doing our hair and

put on some makeup while we waited for

him to pick us up. At 5pm Alfred arrived

at our hotel. He seemed like a really sweet

guy and he took us out for dinner, fol-

lowed by a movie. Later that night he

took us dancing at a small club in the cen-

tre of Cairo. I had a really good time,

talking to the other people at the club and

dancing. Alfred seems to take a real liking

to me and by the end of the night I was

his only focus.

After a few hours of dancing, Lina and I

begged to go home for a sleep. Alfred

took us to this apartment block and gave

us the key to a two bedroom apartment on

the 6th level. It was quite a neat little

place and Lina and I were pleased at the

price. Now we didn’t have to worry about

finding another hotel. Alfred kissed me as

he left.

The next morning we awoke to find that

Alfred had left us breakfast. We ate hun-

grily and then spent the day out and about

seeing the pyramids, the museums and the

amazing shops. We even bought an art-

work on papyrus.

Later that day after Alfred finished work

he met us again at our apartment building.

We agreed on dancing again that night.

Alfred was showering me with attention

and had started to mention us being to-

gether. Later that night I noticed Alfred

was acting strange. He began to take of-

fence at me talking to any other man in

the place. I sat down to have a drink with

a few other people and after a while Al-

fred sent Lina over to me with a message

“Get up and dance with me”. I politely

declined his offer and said I wanted to

finish my drink. He sent her back with

another message “Get up and dance

NOW!”

I looked at him in the eye across the

dance floor and mouthed “NO”. I could-

n’t believe he would be so rude. I am not

the kind of person who takes demands.

For the rest of the night he ignored me

which suited me fine. At the end of the

night Alfred and Lina’s date, Mohammed

drove us back to the apartment.

When we got inside Alfred let loose at

me. He began to scream at me and push

me around. He threw me against the wall.

He said that I needed to do as I was told. I

told him that I didn’t belong to him and

that I would do as I pleased.

He tried to make me have intercourse

with him but I fought him with all my

might. He said I did belong to him and

that we would be together. He just kept

getting angrier and angrier. I told him that

we would call the police. He just laughed

and said that in this country the man is

always right and the woman must do as

she is told. We turned to Mohammed and

pleaded with him to help but he said that

he is required to respect his elders and as

Alfred was older he couldn’t go against

him. By this time I was quite distraught.

Alfred wouldn’t let us leave and had

locked us in the apartment. I decided I

needed to do something fast. I took a

breath and willed myself to stop crying. I

looked at Alfred and lowered my voice

and told him I was sorry for the way I had

acted. I told him he was right, that I

should have obeyed and that I was jet-

lagged but that it was no excuse. I said

everything that he wanted to hear. I even

told him we would be together.

With that Alfred settled right down. He

told me that he forgave me and that he

wouldn’t accept behaviour like that again.

I agreed. I told him that I just needed

some sleep and then we could discuss

everything the next day. He came over

and hugged me and I hugged him back

feeling repulsed by his skin against mine.

I asked him quietly if he could just let me

get some sleep.

He agreed and turned to leave the apart-

ment telling me he would be back in the

morning and that I was to stay there until

he returned. As soon as he was gone Lina

and I packed up all our things and left,

hopping on a bus out of Cairo to get

away.

I never saw him again and although it was

a harrowing experience to get through I

want to acknowledge that I loved the city

of Cairo and its beautiful history, this is

just a story I can tell of how I came too

close to not leaving it.

The names of individuals in this story

have been changed for their protection.

15

16

The Bunny Wars

If you’re like me, the Easter period (aside

from its religious significance) is the be-

ginning of the end for a tantrum-free su-

permarket trip, never mind the expanding

waistlines around the country.

It’s this time of year when chocolate

moulded bunny rabbits spread throughout

the supermarkets from aisle 3 to the check-

outs, just to make mum (or dads) shopping

expedition - that little bit more ‘exciting’.

It’s probably about the point when you

finally reach the checkout when your bun-

dle of joy raises the ‘I want or need’ hand

and becomes hypnotized by shiny alumin-

ium foil bursting with colours hiding, a not

so subtle, bunny. Need I say more?

If you have been in this situation with a

child in the age bracket of 1 through to 5,

who isn’t ready to understand when you

say the word NO, you would have seen

this show before or more than once.

Tantrums, the whole episode featuring:

shouting, throwing arms in the air, lying

on the supermarket floor, running away,

followed by kicking and let’s not forget

the finale – when your child’s fangs sink

their way through the colourful foil and

into the trophy – the bunny.

It’s not a pretty sight for onlookers, shop

assistants and it’s especially not a yoga

session for mum or dad.

But, to all of this chocolate craziness, there

are many positives a holiday break like

Easter. It gives mums a chance to just ‘be’.

As a mother of two delicious boys under 4

and working fulltime, the thought of a few

extra days off, which doesn’t seep away at

annual leave or my attendance expectation

is cause for celebration. And with the up-

coming Easter break I couldn’t be more

thrilled about hanging up my rat-race heels

and slipping on my hideous ‘never EVER

wear in public’ house shoes.

So, how can mums you just ‘be’? You can

do this in a number of ways:

be with your children and husband at

home not rushing

be yourself outside of the office

be by the pool sipping on whatever con-

coction makes you say ‘ahhhh, this is

just so relaxing’

or just be eating pizza on a Friday night

knowing that on Monday morning at

Change Change Make a

It’s been a pretty crazy month for me.

We sold our house, bought some land,

had some good news, heard some bad

and had our very first hospital visit with

our baby daughter. You know it wasn’t a

major thing… (some glue on her fore-

head, a nice big dressing and an iceblock

was all it took to fix her) but it got me

thinking. I realised I am a mum who

doesn’t do so well when my children are

hurt. I felt so powerless! But after the

initial shock I realised that it wasn’t so

bad and that there are so many parents

out there who have to deal with so much

worse than I can even think of.

So on that note I just want to encourage

you to reach out if you know someone

with a sick child and let them know you

are there for them, or how about drop-

ping off some toys at the kids hospital or

making a meal for a family. Every tiny

thing you do makes a big difference!

If it was you, what would be something

that would make a change in your life?

Do you have something you are doing to

make a change in your community? We

would love to hear about it. Maybe you

would even like to share it with our

readers. Email us at

info@smallstepsparenting.com

17

5.45am you can slam dunk the alarm

clock and rollover (until such time

about 60 seconds later, your 2 year-

old emerges onto the bed shouting

‘WAKE UP!!!!’) knowing you can

enjoy being seduced by that ‘close

your eyes feeling’ without the need

to launch out of bed – pure bliss in

my books.

Think about it, how long has it been

since you have taken time out to just

‘be’? Days, months, years? Let’s hope

not! It’s so important for mums to take a

step back to repair and rejuvenate in

amongst all the car drop offs, working,

cooking, ironing, yelling, dressing,

breakfast making, dinner making, nappy

changing, bed sheet changing,

toothbrushing, sweeping, mopping , you

get the gist. So, as the spare days up

your sleeve come closer, think about

how you can just be, without rushing,

planning, scheduling and cancel any-

thing that may resemble that ‘rat-race

feeling’ to help you rejuvenate and re-

pair, because if you don’t, you may not

get the chance to slam dunk that alarm

clock (or iPhone) again for quite a while

which will leave you back at square one

on the next Monday morning.

Happy

Easter!

18

Sibling rivalry and your new addition to the family

Welcoming another baby to your family

is always exciting but often the thought of

introducing the new addition to your tod-

dler or young child can be one sprinkled

with some trepidation! No one can be

sure how the sibling will respond to the

new arrival. Parents have told me the one

who became the ‘middle child’ rather

than the youngest was the one who had a

few issues adapting to the new arrival. Of

course many families don’t have any

problems at all just as some families have

only minor and temporary hiccups as sib-

lings adapt.

Regardless of how it works (and hope-

fully it goes well), being prepared is a

good idea.

Depending on the age of the child or chil-

dren awaiting the new arrival, talking

about the baby beforehand and including

them in all the preparations gives them

the opportunity to engage and ask ques-

tions while giving you the opportunity to

watch and respond to any worries or con-

cerns you notice. Hopefully, parental

leave enables your partner to be home in

the early weeks to help with the other

child or children. Your child may become

very attached or clingy to your partner.

Your child may react to your separation

from him in hospital with the baby and

become more dependent on the parent

who remains close by.

The new baby’s sibling may feel unsure

of where they fit into your affections and

feel displaced with the new arrival. While

your child may not be able to articulate

his anxieties or concerns, he might dis-

play his feelings with regressive behav-

iour or characteristics you have not previ-

ously seen. Previously toilet trained tod-

dlers may want nappies again, wet the

bed, show aggression to the baby or you,

become more wakeful at night and more

demanding of your attention especially

when you are breastfeeding or tending to

the baby’s needs.

I always think it’s worthwhile telling a

child who can understand, how lucky the

new baby is to have such a wonderful big

brother or sister waiting to meet them and

live with them. Worded this way, the

older child feels included without the

pressure to be the ‘big’ boy or girl when

perhaps they are not quite ready to under-

stand they are no longer the only ‘baby’

in the house. Involving him with caring

for the baby with little jobs can make him

feel important as well as distracting him

when needed regardless of whether you

are breastfeeding or bottle feeding the

baby.

Having a gift in the bassinette “from the

baby” ready for their sibling when he

comes to the hospital is considered a great

success. It could be something the child

has particularly wanted or something that

can be played with you one-handed while

you feed the baby.

As I write this I’m watching a three year

old carrying her doll in a doll capsule next

to her mother who’s carrying her new

little sister in a baby capsule. Serendipi-

tous timing – it really works!

If it isn’t possible to have your partner at

home, having a family member or help

from someone your youngster knows well

can certainly help in the early weeks as

you all adapt to the changes a new baby

brings to the family.

No doubt friends will have lots of hints

and tips about what they did to help sib-

lings adapt to their new baby. I was lucky

that our daughter was at an age where she

was more interested in the toys the baby

was given rather than in her brother. Once

I was left on my own I had to be organ-

ised when I breastfed, not because Claire

was tricky, but because she chose feeding

times to be her most active in other

rooms. I always made sure the knives

were up high, the bathroom door was

shut, the potty was near the TV and the

back door to the garden was shut.

I fell in love with John Waters as I

shamelessly distracted her with Play-

school and then Sesame Street each morn-

ing and afternoon. I tucked books and

snacks in behind the cushions on the

couch and read to, fed and watched TV

with her as I breastfed her brother.

Claire wasn’t particularly interested in

what I was doing when I fed but I have

watched mothers handle their older child

or children very well as they let them

watch the baby being breastfeed, and look

at or touch their breasts.

Continued next page...

19

Overwhelmed as a new parent? Want to know what to expect?

Understanding what to expect after the birth of your baby will

help you enormously as you adjust to your new role as a mother. Midwife and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, Lynne-McKensey Hall takes the old wives’ tales and shows them the door with her gentle, practical, science-based approach to breastfeeding and caring for your baby. From the importance of skin to skin contact at birth to getting everyone settled into bed for a good night’s sleep, this is one of many “must have” books by Lynne to get you through your baby’s arrival and those early parenting days. Purchase books separately or as a set and choose from topics such as:

Order at www.betterbeginnings.com.au

Ph: 0419 245 966 or email lynne@betterbeginnings.com.au

Before Baby arrives Baby’s arrival Breastfeeding Issues

and the Unexpected Expressing Returning to Work

Partners Grandparents and Carers Multiple, Pre-term,

Adoptive and Surrogate Babies and Relactating

Last chance to be our cover star..

Normalising what you are doing and in-

volving the child in the breastfeeding is

often enough to satisfy their curiosity.

Some may want to breastfeed again,

which may only last a short time. If you

are relaxed about this, always let the baby

feed first or feed from the fuller side if the

sibling wants to feed at the same time. I

have known mothers who have a lot of

milk let the older child breastfeed to help

to manage their generous milk supply,

which can work very well.

Of course some siblings do react badly to

the new arrival. I worked with a mother

whose two and a half year old daughter

was very resentful and would bite and hit

the baby intentionally. The mother could

never leave the baby alone with its sib-

ling.

The baby was not long home from the

hospital when her partner had to travel

leaving her alone with the two children.

She was awaiting the arrival of family

from overseas to help with the older sib-

ling. So great was her disquiet about her

daughter’s behaviour that she intended to

seek professional help if family support

and a little more time didn’t make a dif-

ference. Seeking help from a child psy-

chologist is not an admission of defeat but

a practical way of resolving issues of con-

cern before they become problematic.

There is no one-fix solution that will help

you if the older sibling doesn’t take well

to the new baby. Listen to hints and tips

from family and friends and keep your

mind open about the changes you are all

experiencing. Patience, reassurance and

one-on-one time with your toddler or

young child whenever possible, can ease

the transition.

I do recommend The Science of Parenting

(DK Publishing, 2008) by child psycho-

therapist Dr Margot Sunderland. Sunder-

land explains how the brain develops in

babies through to school age children.

Understanding the behaviour of your

toddler or very young child will give you

some insight into what they are capable of

managing and understanding. In the case

of a new baby, this can be very helpful for

you in helping him adapt to the arrival of

his sibling.

Good Luck!

Written by Lynne-McKensey Hall RN,

RM, MN(Ed), IBCLC

Author of the Breastfeeding & Baby Mat-

ters series, available at

www.betterbeginnings.com.au and

Berkelouw Bookstores

20

Enter to see your child on the

cover plus win a free photo shoot

with Big Fish Photography

To enter, simply email a photo of your child to

info@smallstepsparenting.com

Entries must be received by 15th April 2014.

In the life of a step mum When you bring home your baby home from

the hospital you learn about parenting as the

time goes by. You learn the baby's different

cries, what they like and dislike, you learn

how to discipline them effectively and you

love them more and more each day. But

what about when you suddenly fall into be-

coming a parent of older children? Their

habits are already set, you may not know

what to talk to them about and you may not

know how to respond to them. Being a step-

parent is a difficult and challenging role,

however, with the right attitude, patience

and dedication, being a step parent can be

extremely rewarding too. As a 29 year old

woman I was convinced I would never meet

"the one", fall in love, or ever have children.

Three months later I met the man of my

dreams, we got engaged and I moved in with

him and his two boys, 13 and 18. Thanks to

the wonderful advice of my mum, who is a

step mum to my half siblings, and some of

my own discoveries along the way I have

learned some essential life lessons in build-

ing relationships with my step-sons.

1) Be patient, when moving in to a new en-

vironment the kids may feel you are not only

taking the place of their other parent, but

also their home. Don't try to change things

the minute you walk in. Give them their

space and show them you respect it too. This

may be as simple as promising not to go into

their room without their permission.

2) Pick your battles - It is important to de-

cide when its better to let something go and

when it is important to stand up to the chil-

dren - if you start picking on the kids for the

little things like leaving a dirty dish on the

table, it will cause not only the kids to lose

respect for you but your partner might too.

3) NEVER talk about

your partners ex nega-

tively in front of the

kids, no matter how bad

they might be, the kids

will generally feel obli-

gated to stand up for

them. This will cause

friction between you. If

appropriate you may

even want to help the

kids make a present for

their other parent for

Christmas or birthdays,

this will help the kids

know that you are not

wanting to come be-

tween them and their

other parent.

4) Get to know them - by spending time with

them and gradually building up conversa-

tions you will be able to relate to the kids

more easily. It will take time and effort but it

will be worth it in the end.

5) Do nice things for the kids - cook their

22

23

favourite meal, buy them a small treat at the

shop or take them out for a fun activity they

will enjoy - This will show them that you are

not only interested in their parent (your part-

ner) but also them, you are potentially set-

ting up a wonderful relationship with your

step-children that may last the next 50 years!

6) Use bribery sparingly!! If you try to bribe

them every time you need them to do some-

thing it will lead to a spirit of distrust. They

will assume you've done something nice for

them simply because you want something

from them.

7) Support your partner in their decisions -

beware the temptation of being the "cool

parent". The kids don't need you to be their

friend, they need you to be a stable and sup-

portive adult in their life.

8) Have fun with them - try to create happy,

fun memories for you to look back on in the

years to come. Seeing them enjoy them-

selves will bring you enjoyment too.

In the last 9 months I have lived with my

fiance and step-sons my relationships with

my boys has truly blossomed. We went from

saying hi and asking about each others day

to sitting in the loungeroom with each other

sharing cupcakes and talking about bullies at

school. On a weekend I often find the

youngest boy hovering around my bedroom

door until I notice him and ask him to join

me for a movie night. I am really happy that

the boys trust me to tell me things they have-

n't told anyone else. Putting in the effort and

having the patience my mum said I would

need has truly paid off...I can now look for-

ward to a life with my soon-to-be husband

and my two boys whom I am growing to

love more and more everyday.

Written by Alison, a soon-to-be step mum.

24

My 2014

Two months into my 2014 Money Chal-

lenge and I can say that I’m feeling quite

frustrated! I feel like every time I try really

hard to be good with my money, something

comes up to mess it all up.

I have to say though that I am more deter-

mined than ever to continue to aim for my

goal (even though I’m almost sure I won’t

reach my initial goal of $10,000).

I guess the whole reason for this challenge

was not even to have the $10,000 at the end

of the year but just to build an awareness in

myself to save where I could for the benefit

of my family.

Since I changed my grocery shopping to

Aldi and focused on spending around $7

per meal I have been able to consistently

keep my weekly bill below $150 which is a

massive saving for me (unless of course my

husband goes shopping for me and the

Coke is on special :) ).

Knowing that my goal of a grocery bill

being under $150 is achievable I am mov-

ing on to other ways to save money.

Initially my savings goal was specifically

to add to our savings for a deposit on a

home. After some looking at open homes

we decided that with the amount of money

we can borrow we will not be able to have

our dream home anytime soon, so we went

a different route - we bought a large block

of land and are planning to live on it in a

mobile home while we save to build the

home we have always wanted. I don’t think

I have ever been this excited about a prop-

erty. It is far from glamorous but it has a lot

of potential and even better, loads of space.

I believe the kids are going to thrive here.

So thus brings me to our soon-to-be new

living arrangements.

We now have a mobile home sitting on our

land but it needs a bit of work. My aim is

to renovate it so that it is comfortable and

inviting yet doesn’t detract from our sav-

ings. Over the next few issues I will show

you how I create our temporary home with

a very limited budget. You will also be able

to follow along as I post my findings and

renovation onto Pinterest.

On a different topic I noticed that our sav-

ings always seem to go south during

March. I know now that is because there

are two family birthdays, my wedding an-

niversary, a yearly conference I attend as

well as the car registration and insurance

all fall in this one month. Needless to say I

feel quite defeated in my savings attempt

after this month but I need to get back on

the horse!

With the birthdays I have begun to save a

lot when it comes to gifts by simply doing

the following:

Making the gifts where it is appropriate

- my sister loves my homemade coconut

and lime body scrub and begs for it at

every present giving occasion (you can

find it on the Small Steps blog on our

website), I also love to sew, so creating

gifts from fabric is not only fun but

makes the gifts really personal. Even if

you are not very creative a simple photo

book made online for the grandparents

Money Challenge

makes a gorgeous keepsake that they

will love.

Planning ahead - even if you are buying

gifts like iPods, cameras etc. you can

save money by purchasing them online

in advance so that they arrive on time.

Buying online from sites such as eBay

can save you a great deal of money with-

out compromising on quality.

Putting aside a small amount of money

each week for a “gift fund”. $20 every

week probably will go unnoticed but

will then be available when you need it

for a gift without dragging your bank

account balance down in one go.

As adults, there are so few things we

actually need so gift giving can be un-

necessary. It is really the thought that

counts so maybe you can have some

other arrangement for these special

times. For example my best friend and I

plan a nice dinner out together or a night

in a hotel to have some special girls

time. We go halves and buy the hotel on

one of those discount sites so it doesn’t

cost us much but it is a great way to

spend some time away and put some

time into your friendship.

Sentimental gifts - these gifts cost next

to nothing but depending on the recipi-

ent may mean more to them than any-

thing they have ever been given. This

my be a letter book of letters you have

written to them over the years all bound

together into a book, a photo of a mean-

ingful memory in a frame or a old recipe

that has been passed down through the

generations printed onto a tea towel.

If you know of a gift that someone wants

in advance keep your eye out for sales.

You may find that an item may be a lot

cheaper during the end of year sales or

the end of financial year sales.

Write out a gift budget for the year and

stick to it.

Join up with other family members to

buy a joint gift. This may allow you to

buy something the recipient really wants

but is out of your price range rather than

purchasing something in your price

range that you aren’t sure they really

want.

Use your imagination and think about your

gift fiving in advance to save yourself

money but also give a gift that will be spe-

cial for years to come.

Next month I will let you follow along as I

begin to create a temporary home for my

family that combines comfort and style for a

very low cost.

Julie-Anne England

25

Kids Fun!

26

Dyed easter eggs Hard boil 6-12 eggs by placing them in cold water in a

small saucepan. Ensure the eggs are completely sub-

merged. Place on a high heat and time the eggs for 8

minutes from boiling point. Turn off heat. Carefully

strain away the hot water and replace with cold water.

Once the eggs are completely cooled, mix white vine-

gar with a few drops of food colouring - the more col-

ouring, the deeper the colour on the eggs will be. Dip

the eggs in the coloured vinegar and turn to coat. Re-

move and set to dry on a metal rack.

Display on your easter table at lunch time for a festive

look.

Hand print easter bunny Use one colour of paint to paint your child’s

palm and their pointer finger and pinky.

Press onto a piece of paper. Allow to dry.

Allow your child to use markers to draw on

their bunny’s face.

Weaved easter egg card Fold an A4 piece of paper in half. On one side draw an egg

shape. Then draw vertical lines down the egg running from the

top to the bottom. The lines should be approx 1cm apart. Using a

paper knife, cut down the lines (An adult will need to do this

part). Don’t cut out anything else.

Using strips of coloured paper, wrapping paper or tissue paper,

weave the strips in and out of the egg from the inside of the card.

Once you have finished stick a piece of contact over the loose

papers. Write on the inside of the card and give to your family or

friends.

Fun Easter Crafts

Fun Easter GAMEs

27

Easter egg pop Place small chocolate eggs inside a bunch

of balloons and then blow them all up. Add

several more balloons without eggs in

them. Have the kids sit on the balloons or

pop them in other ways to retrieve the eggs

from the inside.

Egg hunt with a twist This is a fun game for smaller children who

love tactile play.

Fill a large bowl with rice, pearl cous cous

or small pasta. Mix in some small plastic or

chocolate easter eggs and have the children

run their hands through the rice to find the

hidden objects. Don’t forget that children

under three will need constant supervision

for this activity as the small objects could

pose a choking hazard.

Pin the egg in the basket Following along with the old favourite of

pin the tail on the donkey, here is pin the

egg in the basket. Simply print out a large

picture of a easter basket (we have one on

our website that you can use) and stick it

on the wall. Print out paper easter eggs, one

for each child playing. Using blue tac on

the back of the eggs, blindfold the children

and have them try to stick their eggs inside

the easter basket.

Easter scavenger hunt Hide a bunch of things around your back-

yard or a room in your house. Give the kids

a written list of all the things you have hid-

den (try to keep it easter themed) - items

could include easter eggs, toy rabbits or

chickens, an easter basket etc. Now have

them follow the list to find all the hidden

objects. You may even want to time them.

If you are really creative you could even

hide each item with a clue of where the

next item will be.

We would love to share your easter experi-

ences. Take a snapshot of your kids doing

an easter craft or game and post it on our

Facebook page!

Community Noticeboard Do you have a free play-

group, event or

program for families? List

them here on our

community noticeboard for

FREE! Email us.

RHYME TIME

Every Monday 10-11am

(except during school holidays: 23

December 2013 -

27 January 2014)

Rhymes, songs & craft for 18 months

- 3 years

Siblings welcome.

Central Library, Windsor

FREE - All welcome

28

Hawkesbury Regional Museum

8 Baker Street WINDSOR NSW 2756

Wednesday-Monday 10am-4pm

Closed Tuesday (except by appointment

for guided groups)

Public holidays: Closed Christmas Day,

Boxing Day and Good Friday.

Open 10am-4pm other public holidays

FREE ENTRY

(02) 4560 4655

www.hawkesbury.nsw.gov.au/museum

www.facebook.com/

PRE-SCHOOL STORYTIME

Central Library Windsor

every Tuesday 11am-12noon

Richmond Branch every Thursday

11am-12noon

(except during school holidays)

Themed stories, rhymes & craft for 3

- 5 years

Siblings welcome

FREE - All welcome

Our playgroup is open to all mums,

dads and carers.

Join us during the school term from

10am-12pm Tuesday, Thursday and

Friday. Lots of variety for parents and kids

with some fun day trips now and then.

Call us on 0414 377 266

Scribbles Playgroup is held at the

Church Vineyard in the Sunbeams

Room.

Cnr Windsor and Brenan Dams Road,

Vineyard.

Check out our webpage:

www.scribblesplaygroup.com

Business Directory

Shazam Photography

www.shazamphotography.com.au Ph: 0416 957 592

Mention this ad for a FREE 8x12 print with each package purchased

McGraths Hill Children’s Centre Inc

69 Andrew Thompson Dr, McGraths Hill Ph: 4587 7141 or email: mhcc@westnet.com.au

Open 6.30am-6.30pm

From birth to 6 years

Nutritious meals daily

Community based - Not for profit centre

Preschool transition programs

29

Cover photo is by Grapevine Photography

Photo page 7, 9, 17,19 is by www.freedigitalphotos.net Phone: 0415 216 186

Kids wear

Gift ideas

Cute accessories

Baby Shower

All articles in Small Steps are for editorial purposes and not necessarily the opinion of the publisher. Small Steps does

not represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any of the information, content, or advertisements contained on,

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